I blame @blvnk-art for this fic. I was thinking on it this morning, especially Hermione deciding to shave her head and my muse smiled on me, threw a gallon of glitter on my head, and voila! The story poured out.
Rated T for bad language, some lime innuendo (it’s very light and Ace safe) and adult situations.
Hermione slipped out of the bed she shared with Ron and
padded softly to the boy’s bathroom. She still felt grotty from yesterday, even
after a scalding hot bath for an hour. While lying in the bed with Ron, his arm
a comfort across her hip but sleep escaping her once again, she came to a
She closed the heavy door and picked up the brush she
brought with her out of the beaded bag that was her lifeline. Her hair, the one
thing on her that stayed when she wasted away, was officially a lost cause. She
dropped the brush into the sink and pulled back her hair, trying to talk
herself out of the decision made.
She had no logical argument to keep her hair, not when it
had grown nappy, knotted, kinked beyond any ability of magic or potions. Exhaustion
and pragmatic consideration made it an easy choice when she was standing in the
boy’s bathroom of Gryffindor tower and Harry’s razor sitting in front of
her. One casting from the wand she hated
with all of her soul sharpened the blade on the muggle safety razor and she
went to work, with the wand in her hand and then the razor in the other.
Title: I’ll Take Today Author: @diva-gonzo Prompts: Cyanide; St. Mungo’s, 2:38 am; It’s all under control Rating: SFW (K+, 12, PG-13)
“Hermione.” She shook and ignored the shaking. It’s just another nightmare, probably.
“Ron’s hurt. Throw your housecoat on, Hermione. We have to go. Move your ass!”
Hermione lifted her head from her pillow after hearing Ginny’s voice crashing through the curtains of her four-poster bed in their shared room at Hogwarts.
“What?” She parted the curtains to see Ginny standing there looking like a roman candle about to explode.
“Fine,” Ginny went to Hermione’s wardrobe and pulled out the navy blue housecoat and the fluffy slippers Hermione used while at school. “Since you slept through the summons, I’ll summarize. Ron and Harry are at St. Mungo’s. Some sod they were chasing knocked over a bunch of smuggled potions when they caught him. As a precaution, Harry, Ron and the rest were sent straightaway to St. Mungo’s.”
Hermione threw the housecoat on over her pyjamas before picking up her wand and her beaded bag – starting to show signs of hard use – and followed Ginny out of their room, through the Gryffindor Common room to exit their tower for McGonagall’s office.
“What time is it?”
“No wonder why I am so tired.” Hermione had to walk fast to keep up with Ginny, who was almost running towards the Headmistress’s office. “Slow down. I can’t keep up.”
Ginny turned her head while keeping the pace. “I keep telling you to work out with me.”
“Running the bleachers of the Quidditch pitch isn’t my idea of fun. And then running back from them is even worse, with those hills!”
They made the last turn to the office and saw the gargoyle standing open and awaiting their arrival. They rode the ascending stairs upwards to the oaken door, also open for their arrival. They hurried into the office and saw Professor McGonagall standing by the fireplace, talking with someone in the flames. “Ah, there you are. Molly, they’re here now.”
“Mum?” Ginny went over first and knelt down.
Her mum looked concerned. “I asked Minerva to send for you because of the seriousness of what happened.”
Heyyy for ur drabble prompt thing could u pretty please do Blaise/Ron with "I'm sure there's a better way of achieving an end" Thanks!
(Sooooo, this ended up as 1.7k? Whoops! AO3 LINK cos the ‘read more’ will cut off the rest on mobile sorry)
“I’m sure there’s a better way of achieving an end,” Blaise muttered, shifting again.
“Stay still! you’ll give us away,” Ron hissed, cuffing the back of his head.
“Don’t touch me, weasel!”
Ron scoffed, and peered through the crack in the cupboard door again. Blaise tried to stay still, but there was a sharp box corner digging into his thigh, and one of Ron’s elbows was pressing uncomfortably against his ribs.
“We could have used disillusionment charms to hide!” he hissed, jostling him again.
“Harry can see them,” Ron muttered. “Quit your complaining, it was your idea to jump out at them and have them stumble back and trigger the spells. This cupboard is in the perfect position for that.”
“We only need to get them to back into the couch. There are many different ways we could do that. When you said to leave it to you, I thought that—”
Ron turned and pressed a hand over his mouth. “It’s all part of the plan,” he whispered. “Now would you shut up?”
Blaise grit his teeth, and nodded, and Ron took the hand off his mouth.
Jostling Ron again, he managed to get more comfortable, even if it meant they were far too close to each other. It was better than that box digging into the back of his thigh. Besides, Ron always smelled good, so at least it wasn’t like the time he’d been crammed in a closet with Greg.
“Are you sniffing me, Zabini?”
Blaise blinked, and reared his head back, only to smack it on a box sticking out from the shelf behind him.
“Shut up!” Ron hissed, slapping a hand over his mouth again.
Blaise tried to tell him to let got, but it came out in a muffled garble, and Ron didn’t move his hand. It looked like he was squinting in the darkness. It was hard to see, with the only light filtering in from the crack where the door was slightly open.
“You know, when I told Malfoy I wanted your help in pranking Harry, and asked whether you’d be afraid to be crammed in a closet or something, he laughed. A lot.”
“Hey, Trev! I have an idea!” (Y/n) spoke running into the kitchen.
“Uh oh,” Ryan said before sipping his diet coke. “That’s never good.”
“Shut up Ryan, it was one time! Also, Trevor owes me 30 bucks.”
“One, that one thing ended up with Jack’s chair being thrown out and using all my Cokes in the process. Two what’d Trevor do?” He questioned with a smirk.
“Yeah, What did I do?” Trevor asked, crossing his arms.
“Well, I spent 10 dollars on Smarties and he owns me 20 dollars for a new blender, It didn’t work out so well.” (Y/n) held up a plastic bag. “I wanna get Gavin back, for Trevor. And Ryan is also gonna help us.”
She grabbed Trevor’s hand and Ryan sighed before following. (Y/n) antics were always extra insane. She had been bribed with lunch multiple times by the AH guys to use her evil mind to come up with Shenanigans ideas.
“Alrighty, so…” She stopped at her office, grabbing a plastic back. “In this bag is a shit load of Smarties Wrappers. Ryan gave me all the wrapped from when Gavin used them.”
Trevor’s eyes widened once she dumped out all of the wrappers. It was a shit load. Ryan smiled at her crazy idea.
“We are going to put a bunch of smarties in his office, and the wrappers will be in his car. So when he goes to open a compartment they will all be released.”
“Oh my God, (Y/n). This is why I love you!” Trevor started laughing. “Okay, where do we start?”
“Well, Trevor Boy. I happen to have already prepared this whole thing. You and Ryan do your worst to his office. And I shall take on his car. Meg already gave me his keys!” (Y/n) smirked jangling the Brits keys, making a clanking sound.
“(Y/n)! Help me hide!” Trevor ran into her work space as a yelling Brit was heard in the distance. He was quickly followed by Ryan recording him.
“Closet.” She replied standing up and moving and standing protectively in front of the bathroom.
“Hello (Y/n). Have you seen Trevor?” (Y/n) quickly shook her head, too fast. “Is he hiding in the bathroom?”
“Let me see, the bloody git got Smarties dust all over my clean office.”
Gavin managed to run into the bathroom when he was investigating (Y/n) shut the door on him while laughing.
“Trev! Run!” (Y/n) yelled letting Gav out.
– “My legs hurt, (Y/n),” Trevor whined at a coffee shop with (Y/n).
“Poor Baby. Want me to kiss it better?” (Y/n) asked him in a teasing tone. “Just wait till Gavin realized what I did inside his car.”
“You’d be proud. Plus I have nothing to worry about, Gavin will think it was you.”
“How do I love you?”
“I don’t know. You tell me.”
“Well, Baby Girl. You are funny, Drop Dead Gorgeous. You fit right in with the guys, plus when we have a prank war you have the best ideas. They’re fucking insane. Also sometimes you get super protective of me which is so cute. And I love your everything.”
Ah! Uh... well... you see... when a man and a woman... love each other very much...
(Raven kicks a door in and marches right up to Ruby)
A penis goes in a vagina, then they rub together a lot, then the penis shoots seed through the vagina, fertilizes the womb, then nine months later a baby comes out in A MIND-NUMBING EXCRUCIATING 16 HOUR PROCESS THEY CALL THE MIRACLE OF BIRTH!
Dude, I was just passing through, why are you yelling at me?
Hey! Love the art! Widowtracer is, in my opinion, one of the best things ever! All I wanted to ask was where did you learn how to draw and how long did it take to master your craft?
Aw buddy….I am no where near being a master of my craft at all. XD in fact every time I’m trying to draw an idea, I think “idk what im doing..how am I gonna pull this off??” And hope that something close to it takes shape after hours of figuring it out. >w< tbh it keeps me up at night that I’m still so far from where I wanna be…but doing my best rn to get a bit closer at least! I’d love to draw professionally for a living but I still got a lot of git-gud-ing to do..
I learned how to draw by doodling on my own growing up…and then I studied with several teachers for a few years. ^^
Hopper had been a regular at the diner since he moved to town. He was
the quiet sort, serious faced and short on pleasantries. We didn’t even
know his real name, which was odd in a community as small as ours, but
Billy never offered his and he didn’t seem like he’d take kindly to
being asked. Eventually, we just started calling him Hopper on account
of how he never quite seemed settled. Billy got added after someone
caught a brief glance at his driver’s license while he was paying for a
meal and thought they saw “William” on it.
worried about Harry.” Lily sighed, taking a deep sip of her butterbeer. Lily,
James and Sirius had all decided to go for drink, leaving the two teenagers at
home. James and Sirius, sharing looks, hadn’t thought this would be a good
idea, but Lily was adamant nothing would happen between (Y/N) and Harry.
think something’s changed,” she continued, her green eyes troubled. “Maybe they
argued or something, but they’re both not themselves. Harry’s quiet and sad,
and (Y/N) just looks heartbroken- though she tries to hide it.”
ran a hand through his hair, grinning crookedly. “Merlin, it’s like being back
at school again, isn’t it? But what can we do to change that?”
need a plan.” Lily said decidedly. “A way to get them together.”
frowned. “Wait, just hold on a second. Why do they need to get together so bad?
I mean, (Y/N)’s perfectly fine without a boyfriend. My baby’s happy the way she
rolled her eyes. “Sirius, don’t you see? There in love.” She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
scoffed. “Love? She’s sixteen, Lils. They’re not in love.”
eyes were filled with a fiery determination. “Only a year younger than me and
James were,” she said firmly. “Trust me, Sirius, I know.”
folded his arms across his chest, looking at her for a long while. “Fine.” he groaned, eventually. “What do
we have to do?”
“ ‘S sure not every day a mighty fine lass be ‘pproachin’ me all by ‘erself. Figured the man above ‘s declared it my lucky day.” He cracked a wide, welcoming grin for the lady and leaned closer. “Or perhaps you’re lookin’ to make a lucky lad outta me.”
This story was inspired by Acid/C2ndy2c1d (http://c2ndy2c1d.tumblr.com) and her undying loyalty for one of my favorite cartoons, Courage the Cowardly Dog. And since she’s shown so many wonderful drawings to help sate my cravings, I thought I would write something in exchange.
This particular scenario is inspired by her awesome comic:
I took a little liberty with this prompt, hope you still enjoy it!
Sitting in a cell in her local police station was not how Lily had planned to spend her Friday night.
If she leaned back against the wall she could just make the big plastic clock on the wall of the main room of the station, which told her she had now been here for three hours. Three hours left on her own – the police officers who had arrested her, while apologetic about locking her up, had had to get back to work – going out of her mind with boredom as she counted the ceiling tiles for the tenth time, trying to ignore the sinking feeling that she was going to end up being here overnight.
Great. Just great. I always wanted to be able to add ‘spent a night in jail’ to my CV.
As she mused over whether or not it was worth giving up and curling up on the bench to try and sleep through this nightmare, a noise from outside the holding cells distracted her. Getting to her feet, she moved across to the door to get a better view.
There were people talking, and seemed to be moving in her direction. The deep, gravelly voice floating in belonged to the custody sergeant that had booked her – but the person replying sounded much younger. It definitely wasn’t a voice she recognised, so any faint hopes she might have had of someone coming to get her out were dashed to pieces before they could fully form.
Then the sergeant came through into the custody suite, and Lily realised he was bringing another – what did she call herself? Arrestee? Inmate? Or just plain criminal? – in, a boy about her own age. He was tall, with black hair falling messily about his face, and looked as if he had just crawled through a hedge backwards; grass and mudstains were visible on his clothes and skin, and his jeans looked freshly ripped. Despite that, he was smiling and looked completely unconcerned with his situation.
“In you go then, Potter.” The sergeant had opened up the cell opposite Lily’s and was ushering the boy in. “I’ll call your parents.”
“Thanks, Greg. You’re a mate.”
The sergeant just gave him a look and disappeared back through into the main part of the station; clearly, this wasn’t the boy’s first time in custody.
He didn’t notice Lily at first, shaking his head in amusement and starting to settle himself on the bench in his cell. Then, as he turned slightly round, his eyes fell on her. Even with the dim lighting in the cells Lily could see the spark of interest flare in his eyes. He got back up and came over to the door of his cell, looking her up and down in a way that could easily have been lascivious but was apparently just friendly curiosity. Leaning lazily against the bars, he gave her a lopsided grin.
“Hello. And who might you be?”
She hesitated for a second – after all, she didn’t know what he’d been arrested for – but after three hours on her own she was ready to talk to anyone. Besides which, she didn’t think the sergeant would just be calling his parents if he was really dangerous.
“It’s nice to meet you, Lily Evans. I’m James Potter.”
As he leaned forward the light fell across his face, illuminating his features so Lily could see them properly. It was a good face, she decided after a moment. There was honesty and good humour in the lines of his mouth, and despite the wicked edge to the mirth in his eyes there was kindness there too. It was also a very handsome face, but that was completely by the by.
“Nice to meet you, James.”
“So how did you end up in here?” He glanced down at her smart-casual jeans and jumper. “You look very much the good girl, if you don’t mind my saying.”
“Um …” she trailed off, both defiantly proud and completely mortified of how she had ended up here, and not entirely sure which she was more of. Perhaps James could tell and wanted to put her more at ease, because he abruptly decided to share his story first.
“I was caught trespassing. Again. There’s a park not far from where I live, me and friends like to hang out there. Technically it’s private, so we only go when it’s dark. Usually it’s fine, but this time it was actually being used, worse luck. I doubt the old codger who owns it will press charges, but his gardener had to call the police anyway.” It was clear he found the whole thing highly amusing.
Lily, who couldn’t help feeling relieved that she wasn’t conversing with a hardened criminal, had one question. “Again?”
James laughed. “Yeah. Well. Okay, so we’ve been caught there a couple of times. But it’s not like he uses it that often. It’s a waste. And we’re not causing any harm, just … hanging out.”
A charm and confidence seemed to radiate from him as he spoke, that it was difficult not to be taken in by. Lily found herself smiling at him without really meaning to, and suddenly didn’t much care if she made it out of here tonight or not. James was shaping up to be a much more interesting prospect than returning home.
“So, come on. Your turn.”
“Okay. Okay. I’m … I’m actually here on assault charges,” she confessed, biting her lip in embarrassment.
She sighed. “I punched my sister’s fiancé in the face.”
James was staring at her in disbelief and what, to her surprise, looked like admiration. “Why did you that?”
“Because he was being a dick.”
“You do any damage?”
Lily shrugged. The way he was looking at her, like he was looking at something amazing, was making a warm blush come into her cheeks. “He was squalling that I broke his nose, but there wasn’t any blood and it didn’t feel like anything broke so I think he was just making a fuss.”
“And he called the police on you?”
“He really is a dick, then.”
And wasn’t that the absolute truth. The only person Lily disliked more than her sister’s new fiancé was his sister, and she just thanked her lucky stars she hadn’t had to meet the parents that had raised such an awful pair.
As James grinned away at her a thought popped into her head. “Where are your friends, by the way?”
“You said you and your friends were trespassing, so where are they?”
He pulled a face. “Got away, the lucky gits. When we realised we were going to get caught we all scarpered in different directions. I was the one old Jimmy decided to follow.”
“So you’re in here, and they got away scot-free?”
“I don’t know.” James met her gaze square-on, and something in Lily’s stomach started fluttering wildly. “I’m starting to think I got the better end of the deal, to be honest.”
Spending the night in jail had not been Lily’s plan. But maybe getting arrested wasn’t so bad after all.
i wrote the first half of this at work on my phone. possibly bad; this genre is quite removed from what i normally write.
featuring: awkward satya, wingman hana, and bemused fareeha.
It was the eleventh hour, Satya was getting cold feet, and
Hana was at the end of her rope.
“It’s not hard. I’ve seen you do much harder things without breaking a
"This is different,” Satya said, somehow managing a stately air even
when nervously playing with the hard-light emitting from her left palm.
“People are different. Especially–"
"Especially when you liiike them?” It was probably
mean to be teasing her, but Hana had no patience left. If needling Satya got
results, needling it would have to be. “Especially when it's Fareeha?"
"You’re making me regret ever asking you for help,” Satya said
through tight lips, looking away.
“Okay, okay,” Hana relented. “I’m sorry. Look, I know you’re
nervous, but it’ll be fine. And when I say you’ve been through harder–if you
can blast a Talon agent’s face off from three feet away with your projector,
you can definitely deliver a pick-up line."
Satya took a deep breath, seeming to steel herself. "You’re right. I can
Hana checked her handheld. In exactly seven minutes, Fareeha Amari would emerge
from the doors of the gym adjacent them, done with her workout and heading for
the showers, just as she did each morning.
(It really was a match made in heaven, Hana thought.)
And then, just as they’d practiced, Satya would flawlessly deliver her line,
Pharah would respond positively, and they’d set a date for Friday. Yes. Another
easy win for D.Va.
Or, at least, it should have been, had someone not
been getting cold feet.
"Okay. Let’s run through it again. I’m Pharah."
"All right.” Satya concentrated, then donned a look of artificial
surprise. “Oh, Captain Amari! I like–"
"No, no. No Captain Amari. Pharah or Fareeha. Informal.
You’re flirting, not attending a military briefing."
"It seems…so rude."
"Ugh, Satya! She’ll love it; trust me. Nobody else calls her Captain
Amari. You think we’re all being rude too?"
Satya’s expression said, "Yes, absolutely, very much so,” but
outwardly she only pursed her lips.
“‘Hello, Fareeha,’ then."
"Okay…?” Hana said, leaning forward, egging her on.
“I like–” Satya stopped, shook her head, and then continued, a look
of disproportionate intensity crossing her face. “I like your guns."
”There you go,“ Hana said, deciding that now was probably
not the best time to critique Satya’s form. It was important to optimize
"But what if she doesn’t know what it means? What if she thinks
"It’s too late to worry about that now. Look, she’ll get it, and she’ll
like it. I swear. If she doesn’t, you can blame me."
(A promise she might regret making later, but, well. That was Later Hana’s
Satya opened her mouth, but before she had the chance to say whatever she’d
been about to say, the reinforced glass doors of the gym slid open, revealing
their target herself. Fareeha’s hair was pulled back, her workout clothing
was slightly damp, and sweat gleamed on her skin.
Hana thought it was something of a miracle that that alone
wasn’t enough to quash Satya’s interest.
Fareeha looked surprised to see the two of them lurking outside, but in typical
form she recovered quickly.
"Hana, Satya. What are you doing out here?"
Hana gave Satya a meaningful look, but the woman seemed to have been overtaken
by the sort of paralyzing fear typically associated with the imminent
possibility of death. Her mouth was silently moving, her eyes were wide, and it
seemed unlikely she would recover immediately.
"Hey, Fareeha, you know, yesterday I was watching Jack
on the practice range,” Hana said, attempting to divert attention from
Satya’s current predicament. “I think he was trying to beat your records
with those helix rockets of his, but he didn’t even come close.”
“And then at my livestream last night, someone accused
me of hacking. Me! How petty can you get? I can sleep at night knowing that
I’ve never even thought about using an aimbot in my life, and that idiot has to
live with himself, knowing he got told to git
gud by D.Va—”
“Hana,” Fareeha interrupted firmly, "I would love to chat, but I’m in
something of a hurry.“ And then she was throwing her towel over her
shoulder and heading for the showers. Satya was still chewing her lip, looking
panicked, and Hana threw caution to the winds.
"Wait! Satya has something she wanted to tell
Fareeha paused and looked back. Satya managed to send quite
a vicious look Hana’s direction before she seemed to pull herself together. She
straightened, clasped her hands behind her back, and stared at Pharah with
“Er, what is it?” Fareeha asked.
“Captain F—Amari,” Satya said. “I like—I like—”
Here it comes. Hana
leaned forward in her perch on the windowsill. It had looked grim there for a
few moments, but Satya was righting the ship.
“I—admire your dedication to justice and the protection
Hana herself couldn’t say whether the noise that escaped her
mouth was a hysterical laugh or a groan of despair. Probably it was somewhere
between the two.
When she managed to sit up straight once more, she saw
Fareeha wearing a puzzled but not entirely displeased expression. Satya, for her
part, had gone utterly stiff once more.
“Well…thank you?” Fareeha said, and seemed to
decide on pleased. She smiled, then turned and disappeared down the hall toward
the locker rooms.
When she was gone, Satya collapsed (rather dramatically,
Hana thought) onto a conveniently-produced hard-light stool and buried her face
in her hands.
“What happened? We practiced!”
Hana slid off the windowsill and paced in circles.
“Never mind. I’m sorry for wasting your time,
Hana,” Satya mumbled into her palms. “I am clearly a lost
Immediately, she felt bad. “No, no. Come on. At least
you said something, right? And she
smiled, so it’s not like she was totally weirded out or anything.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“Wrong! Hey, the Satya I know doesn’t give up like
that. Show her what you’re made of. It can only go up from here, right?”
Satya lifted her head, considered, and then nodded. Her face
“Yes. I can only go up from here.”
At dinner that night, Hana was sitting at her table and
poking at her food, waiting for the others to join her. As Satya approached,
Fareeha walked behind her and seemed to murmur something. Satya’s lips parted,
her mouth curling into a smile that she was obviously trying very hard to
suppress. She looked back to respond, but Fareeha was already sitting down, a
private smile adorning her own features.
Satya’s shy grin remained as she sat down across from Hana.
“What did she say?”
“She said nothing.”
“Satyyyya. Come on!”
“This is neither the time nor the place.”
“I’m your wingman! You have to tell me.”
Satya merely pursed her lips primly and began eating.
It took a full half-hour to finally whine and plead and coax
the answer out of her, but at last Satya tired of Hana’s inexhaustible energy
and told her.
“She said, 'I find your love of order very attractive
as well.’” She smiled while recounting it, seemingly unable to resist.
Hana let out a gleeful shout and punched the air, earning a reproachful look
from Hanzo at the next table. “It worked! It worked!”
“I suppose it did,” Satya allowed, resuming