Friends With Benefits: Bill Skarsgard... Chapter 5
A few weeks had passed since the almost incident at Bill’s house and neither of us had mentioned it, it was like it had been completely forgotten about or both of us were just too nervous to bring it up.
Work had been pretty hectic but we both still made time for each other, infact there wasn’t a night that we weren’t together. We were still being intimate with each other, that definitely hadn’t stopped.
The sly encounters in Bill’s trailer, or me waking up to him beneath my sheets, working magic with his mouth. Life was better than ever and I didn’t regret this deal one bit, even if the almost kiss was playing on my mind.
I just couldn’t shake off the feeling that it was more than just a friendly kiss, or the type we share when Bill has me on his kitchen counter and his literally pounding away for dear life.
We were currently out for dinner, savouring our only day off of the week. Bill had driven out to Beverly Hills and made reservations at a nice restaurant, nothing fancy though, neither of us liked anything like that.
We had a cosy little table at the back of the restaurant, a booth with red leather seats that were an absolute dream to sit on.
“Kevin says we only have one more scene to touch on and then it’s a wrap.” Bill grinned, glancing at me over his menu.
“Yeah, he mentioned it to me. I can’t lie, I’m pretty excited to leave him behind.” I chuckled, breathing a sigh of relief at having some time off before someone else was asking me to work on their set.
“Time seems to be flying by, November’s coming.” Bill motioned to the scenery outside, there were a few trees that were shedding their orange leaves and the sky was getting darker at the year progressed before us.
“You mean, Christmas is coming. Speaking of Christmas, you heading to Sweden this year?” I asked, the question had been playing on my mind for a few days now.
“Nope.” He smiled, causing me to raise an eyebrow.
“Bill.. all your family is over there. You need to spend Christmas with them, it’s not right.”
“Yeah, and your here. I’m not leaving you alone at Christmas, it’s not like your waste of space family are gonna be knocking at the door bearing gifts galore. And correction, Alexander and Gustaf are over here for Christmas.” He retorted, closing his menu and causing me to let out a sigh.
I knew I wasn’t going to talk him out of staying and truthfully, I wanted him here. Last year he was in Sweden for four days over Christmas and it absolutely sucked not seeing him, even though he flew back over on boxing day and surprised me with festive flowers and a beautiful necklace from Tiffanys.
I was just about to thank him for his generosity and kindness when the waiter came over to take our orders.
“What can I get for you both?” He asked, his accent thick and I guessed he was probably from Italy.
“Just the pasta arrabiata, please.” I replied, handing him my menu as Bill did the same.
“And for you, sir?”
“I’ll have the same, thank you.”
The waiter left us alone in silence, informing us there would be a short wait for our food.
“So… wanna sneak out back?” Bill suggested, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“You’ve got no chance.” I retorted, taking a sip of water that had been filled when we were seated.
“It was worth a try, maybe later.” He shrugged, causing me to roll my eyes.
“Do you ever regret starting this?” I blurted out, motioning between us.
“Not at all, it’s been great fun and I think it’s actually made us closer, weirdly enough.”
“I guess you’re right.” I smiled, poking at his hand.
Bill had a quick reaction and grabbed my hand in return and I admit it startled me for a moment, it also confused me when he didn’t let my hand go, he merely laced our fingers together like it was nothing.
It didn’t feel wrong at all, I loved the feeling of his skin against mine, it was my absolute favourite when we were being intimate.
His skin was incredibly soft, so perfect and so comforting.
Everything about Bill was comforting to me including his smell, the sound of his voice and even the small scar that lay on his cheek.
It was no secret that my life had been a shit storm these last few years, but becoming best friends with Bill had made me forget all that, he’d given me a purpose, a reason to strive.
I could feel his gaze on me and I watched his jaw tense, almost like he was about to say something but withheld from doing so.
I frowned, but once again as I was about to question him, the waiter delivered our food to the table, making us pull our hands back from each other.
Bill thanked the waiter and we both began eating, I picked at the food on my plate, suddenly finding myself without an appetite.
I pushed the food around my plate, not particularly aware of my surrounding anymore, only my thoughts.
“You okay?” He asked, finishing a bite of his pasta.
“Yeah, just tired.” I smiled weakly, putting my fork down, the thought of eating made me slightly nauseous with everything that was swirling around in my head.
“Mmm…” Bill’s eyes narrowed and I should have known better than to lie, he knew me better than I knew myself.
“Don’t start.” I begged, knowing that I was about to be the recipient of his twenty questions.
“Fine… for now.” He replied, taking one last bite of his food and wiping his mouth.
He didn’t mention anything more on the matter, even after we’d left the restaurant and were back in his car.
“Can I take you somewhere? I’m not ready for the night to be over.” He wondered, and I just shrugged.
“Sure, but where?” I questioned in return, only to be met with a devious smile.
“You’ll see.” was all he replied as he started the engine, turning out of the parking space he was in.
The journey was filled with the sound of the stereo. we only made small conversation.
We passed a few destinations, but not one of them was where he stopped.
Around half an hour later we were descending up a steep road, with tall oak trees on either side.
“Where are we?” I questioned, slightly anxious as to where he was taking me as it had gotten dark within the time of our journey.
“You’ll see.” He repeated, shooting me a look.
I rolled my eyes and slumped back into my seat, fiddling with the seat belt.
I was intensely distracted by looking into my lap and messing with the material of the seat belt, that I didn’t even notice we’d stopped moving and that Bill had pulled up.
I frowned at him before he nodded his head to the direction of the windscreen and I turned to face out of the glass.
What met my eyes astounded me, it was incredible.
We were parked ontop of a tall hilltop, staring out over the city, where lights illuminated the sky and revealed the stars to us.
I couldn’t help but basically throw my seat belt off and jump out of the car, closing the door behind me with a dull thud.
I walked round the front of the car and looked up, searching the stars for an answer to my problems.
“Sit.” Bill ordered from where he’d followed me out of the vehicle and perched onto his bonnet, patting the space next to me.
I complied and took a seat, leaning into his side.
We sat in silence for awhile, just taking it all in.
I didn’t want to ask how he knew this place because I already had a pretty good idea and I had no interest in thinking about any other girls he’d bought here, but I knew this time with myself held a different purpose.
The view from the hilltop was incredible, the stars were bright and the dark sky was clear.
I was in awe but I still couldn’t focus on the scenery fully, I was too invested in my thoughts.
“You seem distracted.” Bill commented, hopping down from the bonnet, pushing my legs apart and standing between them with his hands on my waist.
I let out a sharp laugh and it was followed by a sigh, I placed my hands over his.
I knew he was searching me for answers but part of me wanted to withhold my feelings, like they were my darkest secrets.
“I’ve got alot on my mind, I guess.” I managed to reply, meeting his curious stare.
I shook my head and let out a deep breath.
“This thing we have going on…” I murmured, motioning between us.
“What about it?” He pressed, frowning.
“It just doesn’t feel like friends with benefits anymore, it feels like friends with feelings.” I confessed and I heard him take an intake of air before he answered me.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“It’s an unplanned thing, Bill. When we started this I told you it’d get weird, and it has. That night at your place, when were having pizza… it was confusing.”
“Mya, are you trying to tell me that you have feelings for me?” He inquired, not letting his eyes leave mine.
There was a pause.
“I think so.” I finally admitted, not only to Bill, but to myself too.
“You need to stop being so afraid of your feelings, you might shock yourself if you gave them a chance.”
“It’s not that simple, Bill. I told you that I couldn’t lose you, you’re practically my whole world and I’m not ready to let go of that. It’s fucking terrifying to me, the thought of waking up everyday without you lying next to me or without a stupid message you’ve sent me.” I asserted, dropping my hands from his and into my lap, pulling on the edge of my smock dress that lay on top of my tights.
“And what if you didn’t have to lose me? What if in fact you had all of me… and I had all of you? What if I completely fancied the pants off you and wanted you to be mine?” He questioned, taking my breath away and make my brow furrow.
I was speechless, he’d left me without any words.
His hands tightened on my waist and he pulled me closer to him and I couldn’t help but drink in his warmth, my biker jacket not quite shielding me from the cold breeze.
“You know, I think your car is abit expensive to be sat on and not in.” I spoke, motioning to the black vehicle beneath me.
“Your car cost way more than mine, and don’t change the subject.” He demanded, referring to my Audi Q3.
“Bill… I really can’t talk about this now, it’s too difficult and to be quite frank, it messes with my head.” I professed.
Bill let out a groan.
“Fine, if that’s what you want then I won’t push it. But I promise you that I won’t drop this, we’ll have to talk about it sooner or later.” He shrugged, moving his hands under my thighs and lifting me up, causing me to let out a squeal.
I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist also hooking my arms around his neck, feeling the back of his hair with my fingers.
“Please don’t keep anything from me again.” He begged, looking up at me with an expression that almost broke my heart.
“I promise, and I swear we’ll talk about things soon, just not yet.” I replied, resting my forehead against his.
A heap of truth had been spilled out into the night and I was scared shitless for when the time came that we had to talk about it.
I was still processing the fact that Bill had basically just admitted that he liked me and it seemed like I never was going to believe it.
That night, once we’d gotten back to Bill’s place after our detour to the top of the hill, we laid in bed together in only our underwear.
We were facing each other, lay on our sides. One of Bill’s hands was lay on my thigh under the sheets and my head rested on his other arm that was under me.
I stroked at his smooth jaw, feeling it clench underneath my touch.
“I meant everything I said to you tonight.” He said softly, tickling the skin on my thighs, trailing down to the back of my knee where he pulled me closer, like he couldn’t get enough.
I nodded and bit my lip, running two fingers over his perfect pout.
“I believe you.”
- Soooooooo….. whatcha think?