gosh this is such a mess

“Hello. My name is Collin Fluff. I’m from Gryffindor, and I can be really nice to everyone. But of course, if you mess with me or my friends, I swear I will beat you up and throw you in the lake for the sake of Merlin.”

Harry Potter AU. Gosh, I don’t know what am I doing here lol.

Guys, meet Collin, Gryffindor’s first year. He is a pure-blood. Nice one, though.


take my hand, take my whole life too
for I can’t help falling in love with you

I’m doing zen’s route again and he’s so sweet it hurts

dragonite sprite rating

red/blue- very aggressive boy who means business!! will fight anyone who messes with those close to him. a powerful ally. 8/10

green- a playful dragon! he’s doing the cat thing with his paws. that’s adorable. 8/10

yellow- he’s got one paw on his hip like he’s about to tell you off or something. don’t mess with this dragon! 9/10

gold- gosh, what a cutie! this dragon loves you and will do anything to be your friend. 10/10 

silver- it looks like he’s inviting you to tea! how polite! will you accept his offer to get together and enjoy a nice beverage? 10/10 

crystal- look! he’s so excited to see you! he’s stamping his paws and flapping his wings in excitement! 9/10

ruby / sapphire / emerald- his colors were softened, so now he looks like an even friendlier dragon! look at him bounce! a beautiful dragon with a fresh coat of paint! 9/10 

firered / leafgreen- he’s so relaxed, but he straightened out his horns so they’re neat and tidy! still just as friendly and inviting as before. 8/10 

diamond / pearl / platinum - his color palette was changed again, and now he’s brighter than ever! it looks like he’s conducting a symphony! this dragon has decided to pursue a career in music. i support him and his decisions wholeheartedly. 11/10  

heartgold / soulsilver- back to the softened color palette (although this one was changed a bit)! this dragon fights for his friends! 9/10 

black / white / black 2 / white 2- yes!!! he is so lively and bouncy!!!! look at him!!!!! are you seeing this? oh man. this dragon is the best thing ever. 11/10

x / y / omegaruby / alphasapphire- not as bouncy as his predecessor. this dragon got himself together, and now he’s mellow and composed. 9/10 

Tears On Our Tongues

The ride home after the woods

A SnowBaz fic for the Carry On Countdown


When we get back to the car, we both sit in an extremely awkward silence.  Neither of us seems to know what to do.  After all, that was possibly the most pivotal moment of both of our lives.  Where do we go from here.?

           Lips and tears and heat and fire.

           When I turn to nervously look at Baz, he’s staring straight ahead, his jaw set and his brow heavy.  He’s gripping the steering wheel with both hands, but doesn’t make a move to actually start the car.  Rain is beginning to dot the windshield, and I can see my own breath whisper into the air.

           Baz is so tense, like he’s only just fully realizing what has happened.

           Lips and tears and heat and fire.  His lips on mine.

           “Um,” I murmur, breaking the silence, “do you want me to drive?”

           He blinks like he’s snapped out of a daze and takes a breath.  “No,” he says without looking at me, “it’s fine.”  He turns the key in the ignition, and I notice his hands shaking.

           “Baz,” I reach out and touch his arm without thinking. “I’d really prefer if I drove.”

           He doesn’t flinch at my touch like I expect him to.  He just stares at my hand on his skin with an odd expression, like he’s trying to figure out something complicated.  Like he’s thinking how did that get there?

           It’s not looking like he’s going to move, so I open my door and walk around to the driver’s side, and only then does he actually get out of the car.  He doesn’t look at me as he passes, barely brushing me with his coat on the way.

           When we’re both in our seats, I start the car and turn us around, heading back the way we came.  I turn on the heat because it’s freezing in here, but not the music. As much as I want to break the silence, I can’t ignore the fact that this isn’t just the normal we-kissed-what-now kind of awkward.  This is the you-almost-killed-yourself-and-as-a-result-we-kissed kind of awkward, which is slightly heavier than the normal awkward.

           Lips and tears and heat and fire.  His lips on mine.  Tears on our tongues.

           I sneak a glance at him.  He gazes at the window.  Not out, just at.  

           “You okay?”  I know it’s a stupid question, of course he’s not, but I have to ask.

           He shrugs and very slightly shakes his head.

           “I know it sounds dumb,” I say quietly, “but it’ll be alright.  You’ll be okay.”

           He doesn’t look at me.  I’m starting to wonder if he ever will again.


I nearly killed us. I nearly sent us both up in flames and then had him against a tree snogging the life out of him.  And here he is asking if I’m okay.

           Point for him though, because I’m not.  Of course not.

           Lips and tears and heat and fire.  His lips on mine.  Tears on our tongues.  His mouth, so full of heat.

           I’m not okay, and now I’ve let him see in graphic detail exactly how not-okay I am.  I could not have made myself more vulnerable in front of him, and the thought makes me want to curl into a ball, erase the whole thing, make it never happen.

           Except for the kissing.  That part can stay.

           Even though I have no idea if he meant it.  It might have been a final attempt to pull me out of my suicidal funk.  Even the kisses after the fire was out were probably just pity kisses, albeit very desperate pity kisses.

           “Baz,” he says quietly, and I feel him glance at me, “how long… um, how long had you wanted… that?”

           “Forever.”  It comes out without a thought.


           “Since fifth year.”  Both are true.

           Simon thinks for a moment.  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

           “You had enough reason to hate me.”

           “I don’t hate you.”

           “You did.”

           “I always thought you hated me.”

           “I did,” I nod, “until I loved you.”  His head whips to face me and I scrunch my eyes shut.  I can’t believe I just said that.  “Until I didn’t hate you anymore,” I try to fix it, but I know it’s too late.  It’s out, it’s in the air between us, and it’s going to stay there forever, taunting me with how he’ll never say it back.

           “Baz -”

           “Please,” I grit through my teeth, a tear squeezing out of my eye, “I can’t.”  The tear makes its way down my cheek until it drips into my mouth, and the taste is like Simon.  I will probably forever associate the taste of tears with kissing Simon.

           “Okay,” he whispers, and we’re quiet for the rest of the drive.  I try to keep my sobs silent, but I’m sure he’s hearing them,

           I could have killed him.  If he’d died, it would have been my fault.

           Tears on our tongues.

           When we finally pull into my driveway, I climb out of the car as soon as we’ve stopped.  I hear him call after me, but I don’t pause.  I slam the car door and start stalking towards the house.  It’s so over for me.  I thought I was ready to die in the woods?  I hadn’t been kissed by the boy I love who will never love me. How am I supposed to live with that?

           His footsteps on the driveway are quick like he’s running after me.  I keep moving, tears blurring my vision.

           He catches up to me at the doorstep, throwing himself between me and the door, blocking my entry.

           “Get out of the way, Snow,” I mutter, looking down. We’re under the porch light now, he’ll be able to see what a mess I am, and I can’t look at his expression.

           “Baz, please.”

           “Please what?” I snap.  “What do you want?”

           I make the mistake of glancing at his face and I find tears running down his cheeks.

           “I want you to know that you’ll be okay,” he sobs, “and that I want you to be okay.”

           “I nearly killed you, Snow,” I say, shuddering, “how can you possibly want me to be okay?”

           Lips and tears and heat and fire.  His lips on mine.  Tears on our tongues.  His mouth, so full of heat.  Flames licking at my vision.

           “You wouldn’t have,” he shakes his head, “you were going to spell me away, and for some reason, that’s more upsetting than if you’d tried to kill both of us.”

           “What makes you think I would have saved you?”

           “It was in your eyes.”

           Right now his eyes are full of something I don’t recognize.

           He takes my hand tentatively.  “I need you to know something,” he tells me through his sobs, “because you probably think that it was a sympathy kiss.”

           That’s exactly what I’m thinking.

           “Please never think that.  Never think that the first kiss, or any kisses after that were out of sympathy.  I kissed you because I wanted to, a lot more than I realized.”  He sniffles, his eyes pleading.  “I’d kiss you again right now, and tomorrow morning, and every day after that and none of it would be out of sympathy, and I need you to understand that.”

           I’m shaking like a leaf.  Because I’m tense, because I’m cold, because I’m in some kind of shock, because of Simon’s words.

           “You’d kiss me again?” I choke, unable to believe what I’m hearing.

           He goes pink and he’s smiling and crying and laughing all at once, and I finally recognize what’s in his eyes because it’s exactly the same thing as what’s in mine.

           He doesn’t answer with words.  He stands on tiptoe and takes me by the lapels of my ruined suit, pressing his mouth into mine and it fits like we’ve been doing this forever, like it’s second nature.  His lips taste like tears again and I’m certain that the taste of tears will always be bittersweet to me now, a reminder that no matter how bad it gets, Simon Snow kissed me because he wanted to.

           And he would again.  He is right now.

           And he would tomorrow morning, and every day after that.

The Signs During their Finals

Aries: Ok but why is Deepthroat by Cupcake playing in my head I need to know these chemical functional groups

Taurus: Yo this exam is tearing me open a new asshole but I’m completely ok with it, not like as if I would have done any better if I studied

Gemini: *stands up to blow their nose* OH my GOSH everyone probably thinks I’m a DISGUSTING little GERM

Cancer: Lol for once these questions are more confusing than the emotional mess which exists in my mind

Leo: I can already tell I’m either praying to God or making a deal with Satan to get a good grade on this final after I finish it

Virgo: *is the normal one, does the preparation required, passes their exams with ease*

Libra: HA there’s an L in the name of my astrology sun sign for a reason

Scorpio: *focuses on one question for an hour* NO i will NOT continue until this QUESTION is ANSWERED I just need to REMEMBER HARDER

Sagittarius: You know what?  Why am I so worried about these finals killing me I’m already dead on the inside 

Capricorn: Ok well if my average in this class is a 98.6 and I need an 89.5 to maintain an A and the final is worth 15% of my final that means I need a 37.93% but you NEVER KNOW I might still ABSOLUTELY fail this

Aquarius: *wings it* yo life is quick you can’t let yourself be tied down by the evils of this tyrannical world

Pisces: *turns in final* I either killed this test or the test killed me, there’s absolutely no in between

sometimes i’m just randomly struck with the realization that twenty one pilots is a real band with real people in it that love us to death and their band name has an incredible meaning and new music will be coming out soon and kitchen sink exists and tyler and josh love live music and they’ll be playing shows for a long time and who knows where they’re going to take us next oh and have i mentioned that tyler and josh have truly been best friends for a really long time and it’s not just an act and tyler is married and their families are so kind and their lyrics are amazing just sometimes we take this music and these guys for granted and i love when i gain my appreciation for them all over again

to be honest this whole thing with the “i love you” in the trailer is like the thing with the pills and the cab driver in the very first episode.

are they bluffing us? or are they double bluffing us? are they triple bluffing us?

they’ve put this “i love you” right there in front of us, and obviously a lot of us have initially assumed he’s talking to john. and then we’ve immediately gone to ourselves, no, come on, they wouldnt be that obvious; they wouldnt just give it away like that in the very first trailer, honestly. if they’re gonna do it, they’re gonna give no warning at all and then the’re gonna drop it on us out of the blue and surprise the hell out of us. but then - what if they’re relying on us all going “oh it’s obviously not a johnlock ‘i love you,’ come on, calm down, it’s got to be sometehing else” —– which means that by the time the ep finally rolls around we’ll all have convinced ourselves that its something else, but it was actualy johnlock the whole damn time and they just triple bluffed us out of seeing it.


BTS react to you calling them sexy

A/N: Writing this gave me multiple heart problems, ESPECIALLY LOOKING FOR THE GIFS, MY GOSH. Hope this isn’t too much for you guys to handle! And please feel free to send in requests :)

WARNING: kinky!bangtan gifs oops


Originally posted by jeonify

Jungkook’s reaction would depend on how far in a relationship you are with him, if you guys are still relatively new to each other he would probably turn to a shy blushing mess as he awkwardly thanked you.

However, if you two were comfortable enough, Jungcock and his super cocky side would quickly take over as he continues to challenge your burst of confidence. Biting his lip, lowering his voice and trying to turn you on as much as he could just to tease you back.

 “You like sexy, don’t you?”


Originally posted by bwirang

At first he’d give you a giggle and a simple ‘thank you’ but if he were feeling a bit more playful, he’d continue to tease you with doing sexual movements like biting his lip or poking his sinful tongue between his lips.

“Thanks for the boost of confidence”


Originally posted by hohbi

Jimin is most likely going to do that shy-sexy low giggle that he usually does as he tries to find out what you’re up to, he’d be extremely turned on by this though and will no doubt continue to tease you through more sexy gazes and movements, wanting more of your attention. 

“What are you up to?” 


Originally posted by bangtangirl-cutennes-v

sexy beast. He’d be so turned on by this and give you a playful wink or smirk with the occasional lip bites and then probably say some sort of kinky shit that’ll prove to you his sex appeal.

“Are you trying to start something, baby?


Originally posted by kths

Hoseok’s reaction would depend on his mood. If you guys were in public where many people could easily hear your conversation, he would probably just laugh your comment off with a simple “Thanks

But when you guys were in a more secluded area, he would give you a little smirk as he threateningly moved closer and closer to you before leaning in and whispering something kinky. Hoseok probably has a praising kink

“Care to tell me more?”


Originally posted by jinjks

He’d probably be confused as to what made you say something like that out of the blue, but then would be interested and start asking you all types of questions, asking you what you thought was sexy about him and then just shrug and continue whatever he was doing. He’d remember to put his knowledge to use for the next time though…

“You’re into that stuff huh?”


Originally posted by kths

Jin probably won’t take your comment seriously and would just give you a playful smile along with a wink before charming you with his own way of saying thank you.

“Of course i am”

                                                    - bangtan angels -

Scene from my much better movie
  • Bus Driver: Sorry, everyone. Looks like there's a bomb on the bus that will explode if the bus goes over 100 MPH.
  • Passengers: (Gasp in shock)
  • Bus Driver: It's okay, though. I'll let you off at the next sto-
  • Chad, the douchebag Bus Driver from the rival bus company: (Drives up in his cool new hyper fast bus)
  • Bus Driver: (Internally) Boy, I hate that gosh darn chad!
  • Chad: Oh look, it's the biggest gaybo in town. I see you're still riding around in that old clunker.
  • Bus Driver: Buzz off, Chad. Nobody has time for your mess.
  • Chad: I think they'll have plenty of time if they ride with me. My new bus is so fast that I can get everyone to their stops by hitting a constant speed of 100 MPH.
  • Passengers: (Oooh and aaah and leave the bus to ride on Chad's better bus)
  • Bus Driver: No, don't go! Gosh dang it, Chad! I know these streets better than you ever could. I bet I could beat your stinky new bus to every stop without a sweat.
  • Chad: Oh, really? Then I challenge you to a race. And if you lose... (Dramatic music plays) YOUR GAY!
  • Bomb Technician: (Over the Radio) No, don't do it. It's impossible!
  • Bus Driver: It's fine. I know all of the shortcuts through the city. I can beat him by just going 99 MPH.
  • Bomb Technician: No! I refuse to let you do it. It's too risky. Disengage now!
  • Captain of the Bus Company: Let him go, Dave.
  • Bomb Technician: But!
  • Captain: I said let him go. He knows these streets better than anyone else, he can do it
  • Bus Driver: Thanks for having faith in me, captain... I mean, father.
  • Captain: It's been 20 years since you last called me father. Godspeed, Son.
  • Bomb Technician: This is insane.
  • Captain: Maybe to you who has never driven a bus, but we bus drivers have a great sense of pride. And well, if it's crushed, we might as well be dead. Besides, I can never disparage a man for not wanting to look like a big gaybo.
  • (Bus doors close dramatically)
  • Bus Driver: I gonna make the wheels on this bus go round and round.
  • (Diplo remix of Smack My Bitch Up begins to play as both busses race off)
Alec is going through a lot right now. Especially, particularly in the first episode in season 2. […] I think the important part that parabatai is kind of messed with Alec and Jace,  which is causing him to become unbalanced. And with everything going on in the institute, and his parents kind of pushing him down and saying he can’t do certain things, I think it’s messing with him.  So, when Magnus comes in I think there is an understanding of what he’s going through but trying to be a helping hand, but also he hasn’t dealt with a shadowhunter dealing with these different issues. So, it’s like very new to him. […] So, it’s like oh gosh, how do I deal with someone who’s still confused on how to deal with personal issues.
—  Harry Shum Jr. talking about how Magnus Bane deals with his new relationship with Alec Lightwood in Season 2a of Shadowhunters (TV Guide Magazine Live Chat)
Golden Hearts - Dean Winchester x Reader (Single father AU)

Dean Winchester. Single Father of two amazing twins. Love of your life. Your boss and… teacher?

“I’m telling you Sam-” Dean breathed out a chuckle “She’s amazing!” he couldn’t fight the grin at the thought of your image.

“And the girls- gosh they love her so much! And she- she is so good with them. You should just see her. Mary had made a total mess of the living room when she was helping Sammy brush her teeth but- but instead of being angry she just cleaned it up!”

Sam chuckled shrugging softly “Sounds great then.”

“Oh she is, Sam! And- and it’s not that but she- she is literally so great with everything. All of the things she loves she just- she is so gentle and caring and-”

“Everything to make her a good catch huh?” Sam smirked, raising an eyebrow at his brother “Why do sound pretty smitten huh?”

“I’m- I’m- No, Sam I am just stating facts. You should- you should see them all three. Man, I’m telling you she’d be a wonderful mother one day. And- and it’s not just the kids- If you saw her how interested she is in class and eager to learn, especially when it comes to all the biochemical stuff. You know how I even hated those.”

“Wait- what?!”


THIS IS A SNEAK PEEK. Focusing mainly on the Single Father part with this story, when it comes that is, but we will get a few sneak peeks of the (not so big mind it) age gap, the whole proffesor stuff and all. Those sweaters are just asking for it.