gosh!

goddddd watching the interviews in Think tank period is just. so. painful. 

you can see the sadness on everyone’s face, damon, alex, dave. especially damon. he sure as hell looks different, clearly worn out, like something had changed him forever. you can see the tiredness on his face, visibly around his eyes. it’s like he’d aged 100 years during those few years without graham. it really took a toll on him :( 

watching blur with just the three of them all i could think about is. this is just not right. graham should be here rn. it just doesnt feel right. this feels so wrong. and what even sadder is that they had a guitarist substituted in place of graham in live performances. mind you damon never even looked at that direction ONCE! and that fucking breaks my heart in pieces! OTL

[x] [x] 

and seeing his expression when he’s about to sing Battery in your leg  just tore me apart :(( (aka the last song that graham contributed in think tank - also another song he wrote for graham, but hey, most of this album was about graham so) 

looking at the lyrics is even WORSE! 

This is a ballad for the good times
So put a battery in your leg
Put a rock beat over anything
Get it stuck there in your head
You can be with me

I got nothing to rely on
I’ve broken every bone
Everybody’s stop believing
But you know you’re not alone
You can be with me

This is a ballad for the good times
And all the dignity we had
Don’t get het up on the evil things
You ain’t coming back
You can be with me
If you want to be
You can be with me?

he had to bring out a cigarette and sit down GOSHHHH IT’S KILLING ME TO WATCH THIS :( THIS IS KILLING ME I CAN’T. FUCKKK NOW I’M CRYING

and the interviews when they had just reunited in 2009 [x] [x] were painful to watch as well. it’s like the wounds are still there. damon looking down clearly sad while graham is talking and laughing just FUCKING KILLED ME. i can’t stand it to see him sad it fucking destroys me! OTL i just have A LOT of emotions about gramon ok.

i’m so glad now that they’re back together i don’t know how i could stand it if i knew them back then during those years in 2000s.

Sad/dark head cannon incoming

OK, so EVERYONE is saying that David’s story in “jasper dies at the end” is probably somewhat or all fabricated to try and be an inspiration for Max. 

Well, I have a few thoughts on that.

Jasper could have very well died from falling from the cliff. Because, everything seems at least a bit plausible in the story UNTIL that moment when jasper exclaims “this is not how Jasper’s story ends!!” As he’s slipping off the branch into the ravine. 

Since it’s from David’s memory and perspective, and we KNOW jasper dies SOME HOW, since we see his ghost on spooky island, that little proclamation from Jasper in the story might be a buffer for David telling the story. A reminder for himself to not blow it and reveal that Jasper DID die, and to try to motivate himself to continue fabricating the story to help max. 

It did seem to work, but David’s story is so wacky after pretending that Jasper survived the fall and all was well, that it tipped us off. 

(Also, side note, there was a child skeleton in the bear cave, so maybe bears found his body in the ravine and dragged it back to eat.)

But my speculation of WHY David lied about Jasper dying is even worse.

The story was from David’s perspective, that means he very well could of known Campbell pulled a knife on him, or at least heard him. 

David and Campbell were the ONLY people to witness Jaspers “death”. Campbell being a shady guy,  and David only being a child around seven or eight.

Instead if killing David like Campbell originally planned to, WHAT if Campbell pretty much inslaved David into a promise not to tell ANYONE about it. He’s not past child murder, so it is definetly possible that Campbell kept David as close to the camp as possible, to hide the accident. Something alike to kidnapping.

Looking into Davids character from a psychological perspective, he tends to suppress his negative emotions, trying to appear happy as possible until he can’t take it for brief seconds and snaps.

He also seems not as independent and confident, and even in “cult camp” Daniel immediately pointed out Davids insecure nature. Which is a bit unusual for a guy at 24, and as strong and able as he is. 

This could likely have arisen from Campbell abuse/pressure through the years to keep jaspers death a secret.

Well then, people will ask, “if that’s the case, why does David love Camp so much, and admire Campbell?" 

He could have developed "Stockholm’s” which is a personal connection and sympathy with your abuser/ captor. As David grew up under Campbell, he started to sympathize with him and what he wanted David to do, Which was stay at the camp. Therefore formed a desire to please Campbell and be the best Camper there ever was.

Well that’s my horrible two cents, enjoy!

!!!! I am back!!!!! And I got so many new posters and also some stickers!!!! And there was so many awesome cosplayers like oh my gosh they were amazing O.O I hope everyone is having a nice day!! My feet may hurt a bit ^-^ but I had a good day
The stickers are on etsy under StickerSensei (they’re also waterproof so I could put them anywhere O.O)
The four on the left are really fricken cute and I got one signed and I think it says Marus! :)
The Harley Quinn one is so pretty and it was signed already and I think it says Rosales ? I’m not sure though :/ the artist was really really nice though and I liked them so I’m really sorry I don’t have the name
And I have no idea about the Toothless one :( sorry. I think it has a mark to find them but I have no idea how to find
And that’s all ^-^ I love all of them so much!!! So much adorableness!!!

anonymous asked:

Hey what are some of your hcs for benny? How does he feel about his tribal past vs his time in the strip? Does he have any embarrassing hobbies or habits? What's his relationship to 1) swank and 2) the courier? I just followed you recently btw and your art is so good it's like Polished and Clean, good clean lines and good colour composition, beautiful

OH BOY NOW YOU’VE DONE IT! I have a lot of Benny head canons and most of the Benny lovers that are following me will disagree because I tend to make everything cute, sweet, heartwarming and Disney but hey, I am soft like that I don’t need more sadness and heartbreak in my life!

  • Benny and Swank grew up together as part of the Boot Riders. And as I head canon them, for no particular logical reason, the Boot Riders had a part of the tribe for men and another one for the women. Hence why we don’t see Chairmen ladies. Not because they weren’t programmed in the game, or anything. Hey the White Glove society and Omertas have women I do have a lot of ground to stand on here! 
  • Benny and Swank were boyfriends up until they went to Vegas when Benny let all that luxury and fame go to his head and became distant and unbearable. 
  • Benny gets his Gecko title from having a gecko “pet” in his Boot Rider days. This is a Disney head canon sponsored by me! Her name is Assmaster or Baby and she is very big.
  • Benny and Swank absolutely got into all sorts of trouble in their youth and it was most Benny- thinks of a terrible idea that will get them some profit, Swank - thinks it wont work but goes with it, the Idea - obviously doesn’t work and both get in trouble, and in the end they somehow get out of trouble and learned a valuable lesson! Until Benny gets another “great idea” the next day and it’s all over again. 
  • Benny has a scar across his shoulder and left side of his chest from Bingo. That was the first strike when Bingo cut him before he retaliated in seconds and killed Bingo by stabbing him in the neck. 
  • Benny didn’t instantly try to fight Bingo but he tried to reason with him and the tribe at first. He didn’t know he will get them all to play dress up but he did know that House offered food and medicine and shelter they so desperately needed. And when he was met with resistance from Bingo, it was Bingo who challenged him and Benny obliged. 
  • Benny is conflicted about his tribal past life and that is very much noticeable at how angry and upset he gets when he thinks the Chairmen are slipping back to that kind of lifestyle. Because he is afraid he too will go back to the old ways. He is just unaware that is those old ways that make him who he is, that helped him get where he is. Whenever he uses all the skill he acquired in his days of travelling the Mojave, he is successful (getting Yes Man, tracking down the Courier, almost making it into Caesar’s camp) and whenever he is using his “Vegas” skills he majorly fucks up (you can use all his fancy Vegas stuff such as his cigarettes and lighter to prove to Swank that he tried to kill you, he can be killed at the Tops because he tries to pull some 50s mobster double cross like deal or because he sleeps with the person that he shot and he gets caught by Caesar because of his hair). Vegas life is a disadvantage and his old ways save his ass and make him succeed at the things he does. If only he too could see that and stopped playing pretend as House wants.
  • Benny, after being spared by the Courier probably feels a bit of regret - not care for the Courier unless they are a thing, but regret he fucked up the good thing he had, that he let his family down and he can never go back to the Chairmen. He forgot the family values that kept them together for so long, honesty, honor and most of all goodness. Which leads me to the point below–
  • Unpopular opinion but I think Benny is good. I mean obviously killing the Courier and the Singer from his tribe is evil, but I don’t think he is evil - not by  Wasteland standards. I think his heart is in the right place, he obviously hates on the Omertas and the Legion because they are rapists and slavers, he is reasonably creeped out by their cannibal next door neighbors and he is one of the rare characters openly hating on the NCR because to the tribes of the Mojave, the NCR is no better than the Legion, and as a ex-tribesman he probably knows this better than most.
  • Embarrassing hobbies or habits - I mean aside from trying to imitate 50s rat pack slang? He probably tries to sing too but that really doesn’t work out for him. Doesn’t stop him from humming when he is walking around and I believe his pals and bodyguards are getting a bit tired of it. Oh and he is terrible at flirting, he thinks he is very good and smooth at it, but he is terrible and people are laughing behind his back for it. 
  • As for the Courier, I don’t know there are a lot of very shitty Benny/Courier ships so I only like selected few (read: m!courier/Benny) otherwise I prefer couriers who don’t kill him, just let him go and finish the job that he didn’t. It feels more satisfactory to have him be alive and see the Courier do what he couldn’t. And you know, seeing how he tried to help them when he thought he will die I think it’s rather bittersweet. It will hurt obviously, but he got outplayed and made peace with it. 
  • If Benny is on good terms with the courier he does return to Vegas after few months and will need to fix his broken relationship with Swank, Tommy and the other Chairmen if he wants to be manager of the Tops. However even when they forgive him, they won’t trust him the way they used to and that is the price he will be paying for the rest of his life.
  • Benny still loves Swank and if he doesn’t get with the Courier, he will probably have a off and on relationship with Swank. A bit of Vegas in it and a lot more of the good old days.