On one of my playthroughs of the Stanley Parable, the phone on Employee 434’s desk was ringing, so I picked it up and this lady asked if I wanted to confirm a shipment for like, 1,327 boxes. Just boxes. Empty boxes.
Au where Jack didn’t go to Samwell and after a few years and a cup with the Falconers he gets traded to a team in Canada, so now he lives around 2-3 hours from his parents.
Meanwhile Bitty graduates and is hired by Alicia Zimmermann to be her assistant, partly because he was a Samwell alumni but also because he was super sweet and brought a pie to the interview.
Bob tried to poach him within a week, but Bitty thought he was only joking. So did a lot of the retired hockey players once they tasted the pies including Mario. Alicia doesn’t allow Bitty alone with Bob or his friends anymore.
Which is why she made Jack promise to stick to him like glue during a charity event she won’t be able to attend, but that Bitty will be at.
“Jack, Eric is the most efficient and pleasant assistant I’ve ever had. He’s also charming, hard working and discreet, and when I had the flu last month he made me go home to rest and brought me chicken soup on his day off. If your dad or his friends try to take him from me again, I can’t be responsibly for my actions.“
This is how Jack somehow ends up playing interference and trying to distract Bitty from talking to anybody at the charity event.
And wow ok this isn’t exactly unpleasant and Bitty is gorgeous and funny, and played hockey.
Bitty is in the middle of trying to explain how increasing his social media would be beneficial, and how he could use his platform for good when Jack sort of blurts out.
"Do you wanna get coffee?”
And Bitty paused, looks at him and smiles, “sure! I’d be happy to go over everything with you again over coffee.”
Jack is too flustered to explain that was a very lame attempt to ask him out, so he goes along with the work orientated coffee situation with the intention of maybe asking him properly afterwards.
Of course, then shenanigans occur where Alicia thinks Jack is now trying to steal Bitty to be his assistant and casually invites herself over for the coffee, so obvs Jack doesn’t ask Bitty then.
“I trusted you,” she says very dramatically when he comes over for dinner that week. “How could you be trying to take my assistant?”
“I am not trying to offer him a job,” Jack groans dramatically, “I’m trying to ask him out!”
Alicia paused, considers this and does a complete 180.
“Jack! This is an amazing idea! I fully support this, oh I can’t believe I crashed your date.”
“It wasn’t a date,” mumbles Jack.
“Ok, we need a plan. You need to woo Eric, he’d be such a wonderful son in law.”
Meanwhile Bob is quietly watching this whole exchange and making his own plan. He absolutely supports Jack’s interest in Bitty, and Alicia is right he’d be a wonderful son in law.
But also Bob does need an assistant since he can’t seem to keep one for more than 2 months at a time, so he’s now planning to steal Bitty while his wife is distracted playing matchmaker.
Bitty had no idea what’s going on, he just wants to continue working for Alicia since she’s so nice and amazing, save enough money to open his own bakery and try not to let in on the fact he has a massive crush on Jack.
I mean, how unprofessional would dating the boss son would look!?
No, he’s going to keep things strictly professional because that’s who he is, a professional who totally doesn’t have the hots for the son of Alicia Zimmermann.
ITS 3AM I FUCKING LOVE THIS GAME OK ITS GORGEOUS SO LETS GO
HOLLOW KNIGHT IS A CROWD FUNDED INDIE PLATFORMER GAME THAT HAD THE UNFORTUNATE LUCK OF BEING RELEASED 3 DAYS AFTER NIGHT IN THE WOODS, WHICH WHILE ALSO A GORGEOUS GAME, MADE THINGS V DIFFICULT FOR TEAM CHERRY TO GET THEIR GAME OUT WITH ALL THE HYPE FOR NIGHT IN THE WOODS. WHICH SUCKS BECAUSE THIS GAME DESERVES A SHIT TON OF LOVE AND HERE’S WHY
ALL OF IT IS HAND DRAWN
“oh but nurse skullgirls did that too” DONT GIVE A SHIT YA HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FUCKING DIFFICULT THAT SHIT IS? SUPER FUCKING DIFFICULT. YOU TRY HAND DRAWING A GAME.
YEAH THATS WHAT I THOUGHT HOE (i am not slut shaming im just v passionate)
ITS FUCKING GORGEOUS
LOOK AT THIS
LOOK HOW GORGEOUS IT LOOKS
AGAIN, ALL HAND DRAWN. HOLY SHIT.
U WANT CUTE BUGGOS? THERE ARE CUTE BUGGOS
EXHIBIT A. CUTE MINING BUGGO
EXHIBIT B. BUG GF
EXHIBIT C. RLY CUTE GIRL WITH A NEEDLE WEAPON LOOK AT HER
CUTE CATERPILLAR FRIEND, WIGGLES BC HE’S HAPPY TO SEE YOU 10/10
RLY COOL ENEMIES AND COMBAT
I AINT EVEN GONNA EXPLAIN GIFS DO BETTER ON THAT
THE FUCKING SOUNDTRACK
ITS ONE OF THE MOST GORGEOUS SOUNDTRACKS IVE EVER HEARD HOLY FUCK IM ONLY GONNA GIVE ONE SONG BC YOU SHOULD EXPERIENCE IT FOR YOURSELF BUT THE REST IS JUST AS IF NOT MORE GORGEOUS OK
PLEASE JUST PLAY THIS GAME
I WANT THIS GAME TO HAVE AT LEAST SOME SORT OF A FANDOM IT DESERVES IT PLS
It straight up hurts my soul that there are people out there blind to this woman's beauty.
So she has gray hair. So fucking what. Most of us out there are going to have it someday, and hell. Some won’t even make it out of their 20’s without it.
Tell me something. Does the color of your hair define who you are as a person? Because it absolutely shouldn’t. I’m sorry, but the very idea that it would is bullshit.
Melissa McBride, from all accounts, is a wonderfully genuine person. She’s well loved by her peers, and she has this amazing talent that allows her to speak a thousand and one words without saying a word. She’s creative and kind and a precious gift to The Walking Dead fandom. Her portrayal of Carol Peletier has transcended genres and made people that would normally shun shows like TWD take notice.
And oh, yeah. She has gray hair.
But you know what else she has?
A special sort of chemistry with her costar Norman Reedus. A sparkly kind of something that is pretty rare on television because in the absence of unambiguous evidence of the true nature of their characters’ love (and it’s love, dammit…fight me), she’s drawn you in. Admit it. Even if you balk against the very idea of romantic love between Carol and Daryl, you cannot deny they are special to each other.
And why shouldn’t they love each other like that?
Oh, I forgot. It’s the gray hair. That somehow renders a person a used up has-been around these parts. That negates any desire to have a loving emotional and yes, sexual connection with the person they are closest to in the entire post-Apocalyptic world.
Melissa McBride and her character are fucking gorgeous, and you know why? It comes from within. Don’t get me wrong. Both of them rock the gray hair like nobody’s business–I can only hope I do the same one day, and thanks to MMB, I’m not so afraid of it anymore, but even if they didn’t, I’d still look up to them for so many reasons that I won’t go into right now.
I’m not even going to address the absurdity that she’s somehow not a good match for Norman’s Daryl because she has gray hair and therefore, she must be old. They’re literally the most age-appropriate couple in theory on the entire show besides maybe Carl and Enid. They’re contemporaries. And you know what? They look absolutely gorgeous together, but that’s not even the best part. Their chemistry is a thing of beauty, and Carol’s and Daryl’s hearts? Know each other. They recognize each hard-earned beat.
So don’t come at me again with this ageism fuckery. Because it makes me sad that the people in my fandom can be so shallow, for them and for this adorable lady who deserves nothing of this.
Look at her.
Y'all should be ashamed of yourselves, and I feel…I just feel sad that this is a thing.
Stepping off my soapbox now. I can’t take the credit for the gifs of this lovely human. That goes to the gif-makers. I hope you don’t mind my borrowing them.