gordon drake

5

Batkids on their playdates team missions!

A few fun facts:

  • Roy often skips Boy Scout meetings to hang out with Kori and Jason (Don’t tell Ollie)
  • Kyle Rayner is usually hanging with the Troublemakers but had a cold on this particular day and Hal wouldn’t let him leave the house.
  • Cass is wearing Bruce’s old costume (here) that she found in the attic while playing hide and seek with her brothers. Alfred has since made a few alterations to it, of course.
  • That stuffed cat looking thing behind Damian was made by Dick. Alfred has been teaching him how to sew and he practices by making tons of plush for his siblings! (They’re finally starting to look like actual animals)
  • Don’t worry, Alfred fixed Mr. Moo.
Batfamily as things my family has said

Barbara: “If you eat that piece of bacon I swear to god this friendship is over" 

Dick: *sneaks up on unsuspecting sibling* *randomly drops and crushes said sibling with all their weight* "HUMPBACK WHALE!!!" 

Jason: "Hey come here, I have to tell you a secret. Closer. Little closer.” *sticks tongue in their ear* 

Cass: “I’m sorry but I really don’t like you and I want you to stay outside of my house or maybe just be dead and burn in the darkest pits of hell please" 

Tim: *loses battery for the remote* "WHY WON’T GOD JUST FREAKING LET ME DIE I THINK I’VE EARNED IT BY NOW" 

Stephanie: *accidentally sets fire to counter* "You know, maybe you shouldn’t play with fire anymore” “Yeah, maybe-” *lights match* “-but not today" 

Damian: "You know once a kid dared me to stick up the middle finger in kindergarten and I did and the second I did it he called the teacher and she made me sit out recess that day and this is why I have trust issues" 

Alfred: *banging pots and pans* "GET THE FRICK DOWNSTAIRS YOU PEASANTS I MADE CUPCAKES AND NEED VALIDATION ON MY BAKING ABILITIES" 

Bruce: "hOw DaRe YoU dIsReSpEct mE!!! i aM tHe KiNg Of tHiS LiViNg RoOm!!!" 

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that’s what people had in mind with the prompt “handcuffs” right? i’m sorry, it was funny in my head

(it’s right past midnight here but it’s still the 14th somewhere isn’t it? so i am not late)

Some Batdad Headcanons

- When Dick first came to live with him, Bruce purchased a bunch of parent help books. He buys new ones with each kid he adopts, and no matter how much he studies he’s always unprepared for his psychotic children and their antics. 

- Everyone assumes Stephanie is his daughter and every time someone mentions it he and Steph are both thoroughly grossed out by the thought. 

- Damian shows Bruce his drawings sometimes, and every time, much to Damian’s embarrassment, Bruce insists on hanging them on the fridge. 

- The cabinets at Wayne Manor are filled to the brim with World’s Best Dad mugs. 

- Jason owns a Dad’s Little Stinker t-shirt. 

- When they were younger, Bruce used to let his Robins ride on his back if they got tired on patrol. 

- Tim falls asleep in random places when he’s particularly sleep-deprived, and each time Bruce will sigh tiredly before picking him up and carrying him up to his room, planning on drugging his coffee to get him to sleep more often.   

- Once he had to tie Damian to a post when he was misbehaving on patrol. 

- The first time Jason called him “Dad”, (on accident, mind you), he legit cried and hugged him for ten minutes straight. 

- He rarely has a bed to himself because his kids always invade his room at night and insist on sleeping with him. 

- He brags about Tim all the time to his coworkers, and it only got worse after Tim actually started working at Wayne Enterprises. At least once a day Bruce will go to Tim’s office and ask how his “little slugger” is doing. 

- He lets Cass paint his nails and isn’t afraid to leave the nail polish on because he’s so proud of how good of a job she did. Everyone is too intimidated to make fun of him for it.

- Even though he’s in his twenties and has an apartment of his own, Dick will still drive all the way to Gotham and sleep in Bruce’s bed when he has nightmares. 

- Bruce attends every single one of his kids’ graduations and award ceremonies, even the pointless ones that nobody really cares about. He will be there cheering in the front row every time.  

- Bruce was surprised that Barbara gave a Father’s Day gift to him in addition to her own father. 

- He carries around a bunch of pictures of his children in his batbelt and likes showing them to the criminals he arrests. Poison Ivy makes sure he keeps her up to date on how Nightwing is doing, and Two Face loves hearing about Red Robin’s whereabouts.     

Batfamily at some point of their lives

-Forget a kid in the school.
“Hey it feels calm today, ‘da fuck where’s Damian?”

-Alfred putting drugs on Tim’s coffe so he could sleep for a while.

-“He’s Jason my broth… my.
butler” -Damian Wayne

-Hugs at midnight from little and scared Damian.

-“Damian what the hell, why did you bring another pet?”

-“I died once and you didn’t average me, so at least you.can…” Jason 24/7.

- Jason would put eyeshadow under his eyes in Halloween and would say “My Tim Drake’s cosplay, where’s my coffee?”

-Make fun of their old costumes.

-Be the smartest kids in the class.

-“Who was first, the chicken or the egg?” Dick Grayson at some point of the night.

-Damian would close all the windows so Jason would use the door, or better, he would not enter.

-Bruce would be proud to call them his sons.

-Besides all the jokes, they will support each others, no matter what.

The Batmobile

Dick: Bruce won’t notice if I go for a little ride. *Climbs in and starts the engine* *Calls Wally* Hey, You up for a race?

Jason: *Drives off* F*ck the police! *Crashes* And Im screwed

Tim: *Builds his own* I have achieved greatness!

Damian: *Drives away*

Barbara: *Walks around* Ok not going to touch that.

Steph: What? Wait! How did you even get this built?!

Cassandra: *Shrugs and walks away*

Bruce: IM THE GODDAMN BATMAN! *Drives away*

Alfred: *wipes the window* *Smiles*

Harper: Oh My Goood! *Climbs in* *Drives everywhere*

Being Batmom would include......

- Waking up every morning to Damian staring at you on your side of the bed.

- “Damian, sweetie, it’s 5:30 in the morning what are you doing up?”

- “ Getting up early is a healthy way of building strength and endurance and no mother of mine is going to be weak”

- But you get up anyway because you know he’s just trying to show he cares about your well being.

- Which means you make chocolate chip pancakes while he sits on the counter and talks your ear off about random things.

- Always being there for Jason when he has his nightmares about his death.

- He always in the kitchen in the middle of the night with tears in his eyes.

- You know because you hear his light sobs downstairs, knowing he doesn’t want any of his brothers to see him cry.

- As soon as he sees you, he hugs you tight as if you would slip away if he let you go.

- “it’s okay baby, you’re safe.”

- Dick always calling you when he can’t figure out the simplest of things.

- “Mom, does cinnamon go bad?”

- “Hey, do you know how long does it take to dry clothes?”

- “Mom, how do you make cereal?”

- “Dickie, I swear it’s like you’re 14 and not 25,”

- Tim not liking when his school friends have crushes on you.

- “ If you even look in her general direction, I will find you ”

- “Tim, just because someone finds me attractive does not mean you can scare the daylights out of them”

- Damian getting extremely jealous because he has to share your attention with everyone else.

- I mean, very jealous.

- Jason and Damian being the most protective of you.

- And I mean frowning at every single guy that even glances at you.

- One time, you made the mistake of bringing Damian with you to the grocery store and there was a guy who started flirting with you in the fruit aisle.

- And then Damian judo kicked him in the stomach yelling “Get away from my mother, you asshole!”

- And then you hurrily leaving, pulling Damian with you before you guys got kicked out.

- “ Damian, I love you but you cannot just do that in public!”

- Each boy fighting over who is your favorite.

- if you’re lucky, nothing’s broken from their fighting.

- Alfred usually being the voice of reason when it comes to their bickering.

- But Bruce is the one to stop their physical altercations.

- Making you have a massive headache.

- Each boy not wanting to ever dissapoint you.

- You loving your babies with all of your heart.

- And they loving you just as much.

just because you have to patrol on halloween doesn’t mean you can’t dress up like gotham’s favorite vigilante