goose geese

7

It’s true: The Canada Goose (Branta canadensis) was believed to be either functionally or fully extinct in the wild, and multiple subspecies were believed to be extinct altogether, back in the mid-1900s. 

Read more about the re-discovery and recovery of Branta canadensis maxima.

Goddamned Canada Goose
Thanks a lot, Canada. These fuckers are considered a pest species. Why? Probably the noise, droppings, aggressive behavior, and habit of begging for food in urban parks. Oh, and then there is the incessant honking, and their long, stupid necks… Basically, everything about these birds makes you want to choke them. 

Goose Tip: Feeding the geese at the park? Be aware that they can become overly aggressive in large groups. If you have to fight, don’t let them surround you– keep moving and try to take them on individually or in small groups.

Lucas and Zoe's Wild Goose Chase
  • *Lucas (aged 10) and Zoe (aged 8) are outside when two of the family geese walk by*
  • Lucas: Hey Zoe.
  • Zoe: What Lucas?
  • Lucas: I'ma catch me a goose.
  • Zoe: Leave Daddy's geese alone Lucas!
  • *Lucas stalks towards the geese as Zoe follows slowly*
  • Goose 1: *lowers head and screeches like a raptor*
  • Goose 2: *hisses and backs away*
  • Lucas: *runs to Goose 2 and grabs it's neck and laughs*
  • Zoe: Stop it, Lucas! You gonna make it mad!
  • Lucas: Yeah like that's gonna happen *let's go of Goose 2's neck and walks towards Zoe. Turns his head when he hears angry honks*
  • Goose 1: *charges towards Lucas and Zoe with wings expanded as they run and scream*
  • Lucas: *trips and falls flat on his face*
  • Goose 1: *jumps on Lucas' back and starts pecking and pulling his hair and smacking its foot against Lucas' head*
  • Lucas: STOP IT! STOP IT! *flailing his arms*
  • Zoe: *runs and finds a stick and hits the goose off* GO ON GIT!
  • *Both Geese waddle away as Lucas gets up, wiping tears from his face*
  • Zoe: I told ya so!
  • *in the distant a triumphant honk is heard*
  • Lucas: Don't tell Daddy!