goodbye ann

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IF YOU WANT TO HAVE YOUR LIFE RUINED JUMP TO 0:42!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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All the clips of Louis burning down houses put with the song Burning Down the House by Talking Heads.

THE INVENTORY OF GOODBYE

I have a pack of letters,
I have a pack of memories.
I could cut out the eyes of both.
I could wear them like a patchwork apron.
I could stick them in the washer, the drier,
and maybe some of the pain would float off like dirt?
Perhaps down the disposal I could grind up the loss.
Besides – what a bargain – no expensive phone calls.
No lengthy trips on planes in the fog.
No manicky laughter or blessing from an odd-lot priest.
That priest is probably still floating on a fog pillow.
Blessing us. Blessing us.

Am I to bless the lost you,
sitting here with my clumsy soul?
Propaganda time is over.
I sit here on the spike of truth.
No one to hate except the slim fish of memory
that slides in and out of my brain.
No one to hate except the acute feel of my nightgown
brushing my body like a light that has gone out.
It recalls the kiss we invented, tongues like poems,
meeting, returning, inviting, causing a fever of need.
Laughter, maps, cassettes, touch singing its path -
all to be broken and laid away in a tight strongbox.
The monotonous dead clog me up and there is only
black done in black that oozes from the strongbox.
I must disembowel it and then set the heart, the legs,
of two who were one upon a large woodpile
and ignite, as I was once ignited, and let it whirl
into flame, reaching the sky
making it dangerous with its red.

ANNE SEXTON

I Love You (Support: A Harry Styles Imagine Part 3)

I’m so sorry for the long wait! I suck at endings so I had a really hard time writing this. I couldn’t sleep knowing I was so close to finishing it, so tada! Here’s part 3!

Thank you so much to everyone who enjoyed my stories. I really do appreciate all the love and messages. Love you all!

If you haven’t read Parts 1 and 2, here they are!

Support 

Pity

~~

It finally the day of the fashion show. To say that I was nervous was an understatement. People were running around backstage trying to make everything run as smoothly as it can. Models were in their dressing rooms either getting their hair or makeup done, or they’re already trying on the gowns to be flaunted that day. I, on the other hand, am fixing my models so that the dress comes out like how I pictured it.

Cara Delevingne was telling me how she felt wearing my creation. She told me how powerful and fierce she felt wearing the yellow and red suit-dress that I designed for my “work” collection. I can never get used to being complimented by someone famous people. To heck, Tyra Banks came by and patted me on the back saying how well I did when she looked around backstage. I was reliving the moment when I heard someone call me.

“Y/N!” A voice said. I almost didn’t hear it because of the commotion but luckily I did. It was my mum and dad who flew in just to watch and support me today.

“I’m so happy for you baby girl!” My dad said, hugging me. While my mum was hugging me, I heard my name being called once more. This time, it was Gemma. Anne, Robin and Michal were also there. I smiled at them and summoned them to where we were.

“Y/N dear!” Anne said, hugging me. I greeted them and let them greet my parents. Seeing everyone laughing and getting along made me think of him.

Him.

Harry and I were always thankful that our families got along. He always told me that he already felt like part of the family when he met my parents. I also felt the same love when I met his. It was too good to be true.

I sighed and thought about him being here beside me, supporting me. But no… he decided that his career and his dreams were more important than mine. Heck, he’s not even here. I shook my thoughts of him. He doesn’t deserve me thinking about him.


** A week ago **

“Are you sure you’ll be ok driving alone? I mean, Michal and I can go with you to London then come back. It’s not that far you know?” Gemma insisted for the nth time. I just laughed and continues putting my newly bought things, which I had to buy since I left my things in London while I stayed with the Styles-Twist family in Cheshire.

“I’ll be fine Gem. I drove my way here. I can drive myself  back.” I said, putting the last of my things that I bought.

I “accidentally” bought quite a few too many cute sundresses and a few shirts for the coming season. She smiled and gave me a hug. Michal said his goodbye and left Gemma and I alone.  

“You and Harry haven’t talked in the last few days. Are you guys still not talking to each other?” She asked. I sighed and closed the car door.

“We broke up, Gem. There’s no reason for us to talk to each other now.”

“But.. you’re still my best friend right? You’ll still talk to us?” Gemma asked. I laughed a little and held her hand. “ I mean, you’re not closing the doors on any scenario of Harry asking you to get back together, right? There’s still tahg ray of hope?”

“Of course you’re still my best friend. And your family means a whole lot for me to just cut contact.” I gave her one last hug when I saw Robin accompanying Anne down the few steps going out, I met them halfway.

“Anne! You shouldn’t have went out. I was about to go in and say my farewell.” I said, helping Robin assist Anne.

Anne was fine. She got out of the hospital a few days after she was confined. No damages were seen. Everyone was just cautious when we’re with Anne.

“Dear, you’re the one leaving. I should at least say my goodbye. Hopefully not forever.” Anne said. She was so sweet and thoughtful.

“It’s not. I promise! I’ll see you guys during the fashion show. I already made the arrangements so that you can sit beside mum and dad.”

“Oh they’re flying in?” Anne asked. “That’s nice. Haven’t talked to your mom in a while. It’ll be nice to catch up.”

“Yeah they are.” I answered.

“You never answered my question.” Gemma intervened.

“What question?” I asked.

“About you and Harry. There’s still that chance of you guys getting back together right?”

“We’ll see what happens.” I answered.

“Enough with that talk. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. You better get going now dear. It’ll be a long drive to London. Take care, ok? Call me when you get home.” Anne said with a last hug.

As I was about to ride the car, I saw a silhouette, a silhouette that I knew very well. It was Harry. He stepped closer to the window which made me see his face. If it weren’t dark, I could’ve sworn that he was crying. I just gave him a small smile and entered the car, not looking back.

**

The fashion show was a complete success. The entire team was now on their way to the after party. I told everyone that I’ll just follow since I had to fix my things from my dressing room.

As soon as I get to my designated room, I saw a tall figure by the mirror. It was admiring the pictures that were pasted on the mirror. There were three pictures - a picture of me with my family, me with my friends, and me and Harry. The last picture was a polaroid picture of when we went to Universal Studios Florida. We were dressed in our Harry Potter robes holding a wand in one hand and a mug of Butterbeer in the other. It had the words “I met my Harry Potter.” on the bottom. It was also the day we had our first kiss.

I was taken back to reality when I heard him call my name. I looked at him and saw his dimpled smile. I haven’t seen that smile in ages.

“Hey.” He said. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling.

“Hi.” I said, shying away from him. He coughed a little to get my attention once more.

“These are- um, these are for you.” He said. I was too focused on his presence that I failed to notice the bouquet of roses with him.

During our first date, he asked me what type of flowers I favored the most. Ever since I answered roses, he made sure I got the freshest and most elegant bouquets in the entire duration of our relationship. It made me feel like he really paid attention to the smallest details about me.

“I- um, I know how much you love roses. So I- um, I brought you some. And it’s- it’s red. I know red roses are-” I cut him off.

He’s nervous.

“Thank you. Not only for the rose… but for coming in general.” I said, taking a sniff off the elegant red roses. He finally took a long breath and started talking again.

“Look, I’m so sorry, love. I really am. I now know how big of a jerk I was. I was the shittiest boyfriend alive. But seeing you on the runway during the end… it made me feel something. It made me feel proud. So proud of you love. And I want to feel that more often. I’ll be here, supporting you till you decide to retire. I’ll watch each and every fashion week that you’ll be in. I’ll be there with a huge banner that says ‘that’s my girl right there!’ I’ll be the loudest person present.” His small rant made me laugh for the first time in months.

“It has been months since we broke up. It took me losing you to realize that you’re it for me. I hope you see that as well because I can’t last another day without you. I love you baby. I will forever love you.” Tears started streaming down his face. For a second, I saw the Harry that loved me to death - the Harry that made me fall in love with him.

“I can’t be at the bottom of your priorities again Harry. I need to know that I’m important as well.”

“You are baby. Oh, my God you are the most important woman to me right now. Mum and Gem are only after you.” I smiled at his remark.

“I love you… so much.” I said, putting my hands on both sides of his face. He didn’t waste time. He went for it and kissed me.

Oh how I missed his lips.

“I love you too baby… so much. I’ll always be here, supporting you, forever.”

Inventory of Goodbye

I have a pack of letters.
I have a pack of memories.
I could cut out the eyes of both.
I could wear them like a patchwork apron.
I could stick them in the washer, the dryer,
and maybe some of the pain would float off like dirt?
Perhaps down the disposal I could grind up the loss.
Besides – what a bargain – no expensive phone calls.
No lengthy trips on planes in the fog.
No manicky laughter or blessings from an odd-lot priest.
That priest is probably still floating on a fog pillow.
Blessing us. Blessing us.

Am I to bless the lost you,
sitting here with my clumsy soul?
Propaganda time is over.
I sit here on the spike of truth.
No one to hate except the slim fish of memory
that slides in and out of my brain.
No one to hate except the acute feel of my nightgown
brushing my body like a light that has gone out.
It recalls the kiss we invented, tongues like poems,
meeting, returning, inviting, causing a fever of need.
Laughter, maps, cassettes, touch singing its path—
all to be broken and laid away in a tight strongbox.
The monotonous dead clog me up and there is only
black done in black that oozes from the strongbox.
I must disembowel it and then set the heart, the legs,
of two who were one upon a large woodpile
and ignite, as I was once ignited, and let it whirl
into flame, reaching the sky
making it dangerous with its red.



Anne Sexton

Sick Day // H.S

This was a request. If you have a request send it here.

Plot: Harry wakes up sick. You and you two kids, take care of him all day. Enjoy.

-

You woke up to a groaning Harry. His hair was a mess, and his nose was red. You took his temperature before, going to wake up your two kids, Bella and Aiden for school.

He was coughing by the time you came back up after sending the kids with Anne to go to school. She brought over the recipe of his favorite chicken soup, and you worked on it after giving him some medicine.

Once, the soup was finished. You went up to check on him. His hair still a mess, but now it stuck to his forehead. He had a box of tissues on his lap, and looked miserable.

“Babe, I’m only going to end up getting you sick.”

You wave him off, “I’ll be fine, H.”

He pouts as you press the back of your hand to his forehead, which is as still as hot as when you checked it this morning. You let out a sigh, and walk downstairs to retrieve his bowl of soup.

You let him rest for the rest of the morning and check up on him before the kids return from school. Again, Anne came to the rescue and volunteered to pick them up so they didn’t have to walk alone.

You were up getting Harry a cup of tea to wake him up with, as you heard the front door open.

“Y/N, sweetheart. The babies are home safe and sound.” Anne says, as she walks into the kitchen.

“Thank you, Anne. I hope they didn’t cause too much trouble.” You said, as you put his tea on the tray.

“They’re just like Harry when he was little. A bit energetic, but somehow calm most of the time.” She smiled as she stole a cracker from the tray. “I have a salon appointment. Please, let me know how Harry continues. Don’t hesitate to ask for anything.”

You nod, as Aiden and Bella walk into the kitchen. “Thanks again, Anne. I’ll let you know how he feels later on.”

“Mommy, is daddy still sick?” Bella, your youngest tugs on the bottom of your shirt.

“Yes, daddy is still very sick. Tell your grammie Anne, goodbye.” You push her gently towards Anne who was already waiting with her arms open.

“Mom,” Aiden walked over to you. Holding up a stack of books. “These are dad’s favorite books to read to me. Can I take them to him?”

You smile at him, and nod. “Sure, say bye to grammie and we’ll go up together.”

“Mommy,” Bella walks back over to you. “I brought my teddy bear, because whenever I’m sick daddy brings me my teddy, and since he doesn’t have one. I’ll give him mine.” She holds up the teddy bear she’s had for years. It’s in good condition even after all this time and how much she’s used it.

After, wishing an a safe drive and see her off. You walk back to the kitchen to see your two kids waiting for you with a half an eaten cookie in their hands.

“Are you ready to go wake up, daddy?” You say as you step over to the now loaded tray. You see Anne added a few of Harry’s favorite candies that she always carries around.

Once, you got up the stairs as quietly as you can get two young kids to be. Aiden ran up to open the door, and Bella ran in in front of you. Climbing up on your side of the bed, and poking her daddy’s cheek.

“Daddy. Daddy, wake up. We’re here to take care of you.” She said in his ear, loudly.

He grumbled, before turning on his back to look over at your five year old.

“Hi, angel. How was school?” He said in a raspy voice.

“Good. How are you feeling, daddy? Still sick?”

He nods slowly.

“Has mommy been taking care of you?”

You walked over to your tired husband and placed the very full tray on his lap. You wrapped an arm around Aiden as he took a seat on the end of the bed.

“Mommy always takes very good care of me.” Harry winks at you, before looking down at the try on his lap. “Aiden, are these your books?”

He picks up a few books and looks up at what you think is the mini version of Harry.

Aiden shrugs his shoulders, “I figured you could use them to pass time. You always read to me when I’m sick.”

“I put my teddy in their too, daddy!” Bella picks up the teddy bear and offers it to him.

“I see, angel. But, won’t you miss him tonight?” Harry says before coughing. He grabs the bears and leans it against his side.

“No. He’ll be taking care of you. I’ll be okay! Now drink your tea daddy, it’ll go cold.”

The rest of the day was spent watching a few movies, before Harry kicking them out to work on their homework. Harry quickly pulled you into his arms as soon you laid down.

“Thank you for everything, Y/N.” He mumbles as he closes his eyes. “I’m really lucky I have you.”

-

Thank you. This was requested. I’m still editing it a bit xo - M

Pregnancy Series #6-Telling His Family (Harry)



A/N: No disrespect is meant towards Harry’s Mom. I’m sure she’s lovely.

You sighed, pulling on your favorite outfit, getting ready for the dinner that you were having with Harry’s parents. Harry assured you that they would be overjoyed, but you couldn’t push away the feeling that something was going to go wrong. The doorbell rang, and you hurried downstairs.

“Hello, Anne,” You said, holding the door open and stepping back so she could walk through.

“Hi, (Y/N),” She said, reaching out and giving you a hug. “How have you been?”

“I’m doing well. How are you?” You inquired.

“I’ve been doing well. Where’s Harry?” She asked.

“Harry’s in the kitchen, making dinner,” You replied. The two of you stepped into the kitchen, and Harry walked towards his Mom, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her.

“Something smells good,” Anne said, releasing Harry.

“I’m making chicken and rice,” Harry replied, turning back to the stove. You went over to the cupboard to get down some plates, and began to set the table. Soon, the three of you sat down, and began to eat. After you all finished, Harry reached over under the table, and took your hand in his.

“Mom, we want to share some news with you,” Harry said, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

“Good news, I hope,” Anne joked.

“We think it is,” Harry said, smiling. “We’re having a baby.”

“A….a baby? You’re pregnant?” Anne stammered. You nodded, biting your lower lip.

“Yes, Mom, (Y/N) is,” Harry replied.

“How….what were you two thinking? You’re so young-how could you possibly be ready for a baby?” Anne inquired, her tone growing angry.

“We’re not that young, Mom. We can do this,” Harry said, biting the inside of his cheek.

“You’re barely adults, Harry. How are you going to have this baby and be in the band at the same time? What about touring?” Anne inquired.

“I can do both,” Harry angrily said.

“You may think you can, but raising a baby is difficult, Harry. I can’t support this,” Anne said, pushing back her chair and standing. “Goodbye, Harry, (Y/N).”

Anne walked out of the room, and you hear the door shutting behind her. You turned to Harry, tears welling in your eyes.

“I’m sorry, love,” Harry murmured.

“It’s fine, Harry,” You quietly said. He gently pressed a kiss to your forehead, and started to clean up the dishes. You went upstairs and curled up in bed, thinking over how telling Harry’s Mom had gone. You wondered if your family would react the same way, and how the boys would react.

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They are the LIVING embodiment of heart eyes when they say goodbye. 

I Dare You To Walk Away - Prinxiety Fanfiction

Thank you to the amazing @soulydyingalone for beta-ing this fic for me!     Another human AU but this time with a bit more angst. Also on my AO3 of the same name.

Summary: Roman and Ann are the power couple. But they can’t withstand everything

Word count: 1832

Five years, where had it gone? Ann swore he remembered it like it was last week, but no, simply put the five blissful years had just slipped by. Ann remembered when he had first laid eyes on him, after all, it was hard not to. Never before had Ann seen someone as breath-takingly beautiful. It had been his first week of Uni, most commonly known as ‘Fresher’s Week’. Unlike the other 95% of students, Ann decided he’d rather not partake in the rowdy drunkenness they called a party. Nope, that wasn’t his speed at all. He had decided to go to one of the many coffee shops on the campus when he first laid eyes on the attractive stranger.

He had almost spilled his coffee down his shirt when going to take another sip. He couldn’t help staring at the other as he walked. He was beautiful, well he still is; Ann’s opinion on that hadn’t changed. His auburn tinted eyes and dark hair had been something Ann couldn’t stop thinking about for weeks. He had been handing out a neatly folded pile of flyers promoting some club Ann could no longer remember. At this moment, he had made probably one of the most nerve-wracking decisions of his life. Ann had shuffled over awkwardly (blushing like mad) and quickly took one of the flyers from him and speed-walked away. He was still blushing like mad by the time he’d gotten back to his dorm. But it was alright, he doubted he would even see the attractive stranger again. It was a big university after all.

Not long after, the fates seemed to have pulled a few strings as Ann ended up being properly introduced to the stranger, who he now knew as Roman, through a mutual friend of theirs. It seemed the fates had more plans as, in a few days after being introduced to one another, Ann found out that coincidentally they were living in the same hall. 

It was from that time onward they became inseparable, despite Roman studying performing arts and Ann studying psychology, they seemed to get on like a house on fire. A few months later and Roman (a blushing mumbling mess) decided to ask Ann out. It had been one of the best moments of the anxious boy’s life. Roman took him to the local park for a picnic and asked Ann to be his boyfriend, it had been the ending to a perfect day. They dated all the way through Uni. It was a perfect relationship to them, Roman was the peanut butter to his jelly. They complimented each other flawlessly. Roman was the more social of the two and slowly he was able to coerce Ann out of his hypothetical shell. Whereas Ann was the introverted one, he showed Ro that maybe partying every night wasn’t the only way to have fun. 

After Uni and many hours spent doing overtime, the two had managed to scrape together enough money to find a house. Sure, it wasn’t the fanciest house but for two adults in their early twenties currently swimming in student loans, it was perfect.  

Through Uni and after graduation, their friends had described them as being ‘the model couple.’ There was always one every year, that year it was those two. You see, they sometimes fought but never had any major problems or bumps in the relationship. They lived happily for a year after graduating.

That was until a few months ago. Roman had suddenly started coming home later and later from rehearsals, which of course meant talking to Ann less and less and postponing dates until the other would just give up asking. He never questioned Ro but Ann wasn’t stupid, after all with a degree in Psychology, he knew enough about the human mind to piece together what was going on, he just refused to acknowledge it. In his opinion, it was the better alternative. The less painful alternative.  

The day Ann finally accepted it was the same day he got a message from Roman’s 'boyfriend’. A guy named 'Logan’ who claimed that if he didn’t stay away from 'his man’ he’d come and 'knock his teeth out’.  He carried on with a few more choice words and ended with the message with saying how Ro had 'left’ him months ago after they’d kissed one night after rehearsal. That probably hurt the most.

Ann didn’t reply deciding to go and sleep away any thoughts of the message instead. 

Once Ann had woken up, he sighed he had made a decision today was The Day. Today Ann would confront him about it. The cheating, the lying. The broken bond between them. He didn’t know how long he’s been living in blissful ignorance but he was sure he’d find out soon enough and it would all come crashing down.

Ann sat on the sofa, waiting for his 'boyfriend’ to come home from work. He clutched his phone with the message lighting up the screen in his right hand, the evidence ready to be used. Roman could have at least told him, but no, that would have been the honest thing to do. Ann knew what he had to do, they could never come back from this.

By the time the car pulled up it was dark and no doubt Roman would think he was probably fast asleep. But Ann waited, his phone gripped tightly.
He took one long shaky breath in and waited. The car had shut down and there was now the rustling of keys.

Ann exhaled and blinked back a few tears. There was the soft click of the lock and a thump of a bag hitting the floor.   

Footsteps clicked across the linoleum.

Ann closed his eyes tight and hoped none of his accusations were true.

This was it.

“I dare you to walk away,”

Ann could feel Roman staring at him before he even opened his eyes to look up at the handsome face he had loved, that he still loved. Once he had opened his eyes, he was met with the auburn colored eyes that he’d grown to love, but this time instead of love and adoration they held a foreign stiffness. He was silent, his mouth was dry as he forgot about all of his accusations and stared harshly at the man in the doorway. The silence from the man standing was thick with tension and Ann had to avert his gaze so he could regain his resolve. If he looked back that those cruel eyes he feared he wouldn’t be able to go through with it.  

Ann took another breath through his nose as he waited for Roman to move or shout or anything to end this eerie silence.

But Roman didn’t move.

Ann moved his focus to the photos of him and Ro on the wall. He cleared his throat and whispered into the room “I know about everything.”

There was no answer.

Ann looked at one smiling photo of the two and gripped the phone tighter than before. “Go on leave. I dare you. I dare you to walk away from everything. Everything we planned. Everything we said. Go on, I dare you to leave everything we’ve built.”

Ann shuddered, feeling his resolve slowly crumbling and breaking around him. He stood, face streaming with fresh tears and faced Roman. He held the phone out in a vice-like grip.

He took a shaky breath and narrowed his eyes. “Go on. DO IT! According to him, you left months ago. SO LEAVE!”

“Y-you don’t understand,” Roman spluttered, not meeting the pale boy’s eyes.

“What else is there to understand, Roman? You cheated on me! It’s been made clear to me you no longer have feelings for me,” Ann spat out through gritted teeth, wiping a few tears away.

“I do love you though, Ann!” Roman’s voice was desperate. He tried to reach to Ann but the other pulled away, giving him a disgusted look.

“You’ve kissed him, right?! And you told him you were going to leave me?!” Ann screamed in anguish.

“That’s because…because,” He failed to come up with a coherent answer, the words seemed to have failed him. 

“Because it’s the truth,” Ann scoffed, throwing his arms up in defeat. “You know what? Get Out. While I can still stand to see your face.”

A look of shock and hurt fell onto Roman’s face. He stepped back and finally met Ann’s eyes, but would find no sympathy in them. “You don’t mean that,” Ro pleaded.

“Don’t I?” Ann questioned. 

It was not a question for Ro to answer. 

He attempted to reach out to Ann once more. Like he would be able to convince Ann otherwise if they touched. Ann took another wider step back than before. 

“You know, I think I’m as sure as you were when you told him you were going to leave me. Leave my home. Now.” He turned away, refusing to face Roman.

He may have been able to pluck up the strength to tell Roman to go but Ann knew if he watched him leave, watched him drive away he wouldn’t stop crying. 

However, rather than being met with the sound of footsteps or a car driving away he got a firm and defiant “No.” 

A beat of silence.

“This is my house too. You can’t just chuck me out of my own house and I’m not leaving until you let me explain.”

Ann spun back around in a rage. “Oh really? This is your house? Because I’m the one that pays the rent thanks to a steady job while you go off playing amateur make belief and going to what you say are professional auditions but barely ever getting cast!”

Tears fell down Roman’s face. “I never knew that’s how you felt,” he whispered. “I thought you supported me. You always said they were being stupid for not casting me.”

“Well maybe I was the stupid one,” Ann spat.

There was another tense moment of silence.

“Well, I won’t bother you anymore.”

Ann’s eyes widened in shock. He expected him to fight more. 

Ro walked towards him and gently pressed his lips to the other’s cheek. “Goodbye Ann,” Roman breathed next to his ear.

And with that, he left. Not looking back as he did.

A few seconds later and there was the slam of the front door followed by his car reversing out of the driveway. Ann blinked and quickly ran into the hallway as the car drove down the street. He collapsed onto the floor of the hallway. The silence had returned, emptiness replacing the tension that had been there mere moments before. His body shook with misery as he let himself sob and finally fall apart. 5 whole years, just gone. All the happy memories now bitter and unwanted. He stayed there for a full hour, just staring at the front door, waiting for something. Waiting for Roman to love him once more.