Today we say goodbye to Neko. He was my first pet, the sweetest weirdo. One of the last connections I had to my Grandma, who helped me choose him at the ASPCA. He never meowed until I coaxed him to do it with his favorite treat, water from the tap. He was so shy in some ways (he would only play if he thought no one was looking) and boisterous and demanding in others. He really grew into his personality over the years.
He had an incredibly rough last few years due to illness, and wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for my mom’s immense love and care. He had a good, long life and his intense presence will be missed. You’ll know what I mean if you ever got to share a room with him (those eyes!).
I said a little Goodbye to him the last time I was in PA, because I knew it was time soon. Wish I could give the ‘ole greaseball one last pet, but he knew he was loved. Thanks for all the sunshine, Neek.
steps to moving on:
step 1: stop telling people about them. i know you want to tell the world how they broke your entire being. your reason for existing and now you have to exist without them, but stop telling people. it helps i promise. it helps you forget. and though you don’t want to forget. you have to. you’re getting there. keep your head up.
step 2: cut ties off, talk to them less. don’t check their social media everyday. just try to distance yourself. i know you’ll miss them. but it will get easier as time goes on.
step 3: don’t think they are coming back, they most likely aren’t, even if they say they are. don’t let them rule over you when in your heart you know they don’t even want you. you have to accept that they are not coming back. im sorry. this is one of the hardest steps.
step 4: don’t tell them things. i know when something happens they are the first person you wanna tell it to. i know when you’re breaking you wanna call them and hear them say it’s okay, but don’t. you can do this on your own.
step 5: if they tell you they miss you, DON’T SAY YOU MISS THEM. let them miss you. let them see what they lost.
step 6: stop arguing w them, i know it gives you a chance to talk to them and that’s all you want but stop. nothing you can say will bring them back. if they want to come back, they will.
step 7: don’t let them call you baby or babe. the false hope will hurt so much in the end. be strong. say no. i get it if your heart leaped out of your chest when they said it, but your hearts gonna crush again if you believe they love you and much as you love them. honey, if they loved you. they would be with you, case closed.
step 8: hang with friends. getting out and being productive will put your mind off the fact that they aren’t there anymore. & if your friends are busy, take a you day or week or as long as you need. get some snacks, turn on your old favorite movie you haven’t seen in forever, turn off your phone, and enjoy the present.
step 9: get rid of it, you know what im talking about. the stuff that reminds you of them. the stuff you cry over or lock away hidden. throw it away, burn it, rip it to shreds if you can. just let it go. let the memory of them go, sweetie.
step 10: make yourself your main priority, look in the mirror each morning and tell yourself “it’s their loss, im amazing.” because you are. learn from their absence. learn how strong you are for getting through this.
If Laura’s weakness is a lack of self-awareness, Carmilla’s is an overabundance, too aware of her own flaws to admit her own virtues, and that makes for great television. Both characters are doomed in opposite directions, and that’s why they need each other; they figuratively, literally, and thematically can’t live without each other.