good-gracious

TARON! My gosh, ya’ll. My actual goodness gracious me. I was selected (bless that cheap, but classy dress!) to sit at the bar setup. I was at the end CLOSEST TO THE GUESTS AND SINCE TARON WAS ALSO AT THE END I WAS THE CLOSEST FAN TO HIM AHHHHHHHHHHH YOU SEE THAT GIRL IN THE FUCHSIA DRESS THAT IS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Okay *takes deep breath* What can I remember? Well, from my close but alas not particularly viewable seat, I couldn’t see most of his expressions because he was turned towards Billy and James. But a couple times, he faced the audience as a whole and made adorable faces and I just wanted to take the ONLY FOUR STEPS (YES I COUNTED HAVE YOU MET ME?) to squish his adorable face! I have now memorized the back of his head (in my next Hartwin, look for the paragraph about the EXACT placement of the freckles/moles on the back of his neck because it’s all I saw for the better part of half an hour!) If ya’ll saw the interview (if you haven’t GO NOW IT’s PRECIOUS AND ICKLE!TARON AND GIGGLES AND FIDGETS), you didn’t miss much. What I like about The Late Late Show is how they don’t shoot a lot of retakes or take out much. They let things be natural and I love them for it. Because Taron is, as is well-documented, naturally a little fidgety and giggly.

Also, I wished there had been a camera shot over Billy’s shoulder because you would have seen Taron looking at him all amazed and besotted, with me over Taron’s shoulder looking equally amazed and besotted at Taron, of course. :)

Things you might have missed (but I didn’t because again SOOOOO CLOOOOOOOSE)

1. At the first break, James leaned in and was pointing to Taron’s shoes (alas, close does not mean I could hear over the VERY loud band), discussing them for some reason. (he wore trainers and it was so great for reasons I can’t explain but he just looked really great)

2. I think they were on Billy Crystal (also a moment for me to go HOLY SHIT BILLY CRYSTAL AHHHHHHH SO FUNNY PRINCESS BRIDE AHHHHH!), but Taron took his first sip of the mug provided, startled a little, smelled the liquid (it was bottled water, I watched them pour it in) and then sipped again. Maybe we have weird tasting water in America or he expected coffee/tea in the mug, I wanted to know why he was so taken aback.

3. WATCHING HIM FANGIRL OVER REGGIE WATTS WAS THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY YEAR! He bounced on the balls of his feet as if barely restraining himself from leaping for joy. Since he’d gotten up from the couch by this point, he was near enough for me to make out some words (the louder, more excited ones I suppose) and he was gushing over how Reggie is his fave and his band is Taron’s favourite band and all but squeeing, BABY BOY SQUEAKED A LITTLE I TELL NO LIES. The handler/director/whoever was all but dragging him away from Reggie Watts, it were precious.

All in all, the ONLY thing that would have made things better were if Taron had shaken my hand or given me a high five the way he did with other fans on his way to the stage. Like to TOUCH him would have been the only way to make that day better.

Before I go, taking just a half second to SQUEE over James Corden, because I am the biggest The History Boys nerd!

  • Me on a date: So, what do you think of Captain America?
  • Them: I dunno, he was kind of lame. Iron Man is way cooler.
  • Me, shoving breadsticks into my purse: sorry but i have to-
  • Coulson, punching through wall: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY
Let’s talk about ep. 22 of OnS...

And put aside the gay for a second

/record scratch

Hush my child just hear me out

Can I just bring attention to Yuu’s survival speech to Mika? The one where he’s talking about finding a reason to live? It had. Me. Bawling. I just need to first point out something that I think people seem to gloss over.

Mika wanted to die.

But Yuu, stubborn as ever, wouldn’t allow it.

“Can’t you do me this one tiny favor and stay alive?”

Whereby Mika replies:

“I can’t.”

Which is a lie.

It’s not that he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Survival was right in front of him, completely consenting to being fed on (which was a GREAT thing to include btw). Mika just refused to take it. When he sinks to his knees, knowing that giving in to his thirst would turn him into a “grotesque creature,” as he puts it, what does Yuu do?

He brings himself to Mika’s level, on one knee (basically a PROPOSAL just saying), signifying he doesn’t see him as anything inferior to him and that he would still see Mika the same way he always did no matter what Mika becomes. He would always see him as the boy who gave him a reason to not just survive but to live. And before Mika gives in to the thirst, one of the last things Yuu says, knowing Mika would do anything for him, is, “Stay alive. For me,” hoping it would be enough to convince him.

Apparently it was. When Mika whimpers, “I’m gonna keep living,” there’s not a hint of happiness in his voice. He’s practically choking on his tears. He becomes a full vampire, still a bawling mess. Oh god, he’s gonna live forever. He’s gonna suffer forever.

But then comes Yuu’s wise words:

“[Guren] told me to keep on living, even if was just for revenge. That one day someone who needed my help would show up and give me a new reason to exist. That’s why I’m still alive. Even when life felt pointless, even when I thought no one needed me, I forced myself to get through each day. And I’m glad. Because I finally got to see you again.

Hey, let’s make a promise: we’ll survive together even if it’s painful sometimes. Who cares if you’re a vampire? If it’s too difficult for you then I’ll just have to turn you back into a human!

So please… promise me you won’t give up and try to die ever again.”

And Mika’s response:

“Oh, the irony. I fought all this time because I thought you needed saving.”

(Notice how they’re both blushing at this point asdfghjkl)

Just think: Mika living on just Krul’s blood for all those years. Can you imagine drinking the same thing for that long? How bland it must’ve gotten. Tasteless. But that’s all he had. Who knew curry would be the last human food he’d ever eat… Not to mention being in Krul’s presence meant he always had to hang around Ferid (I can’t stand that bloodsucker for four minutes let alone for four years). Mika didn’t ask to be turned that fateful day. Said he’d rather die. But despite all this still he struggled to survive, holding on for so long because he needed to save Yuu from the humans. Mika clung to the only person who still made him smile, a smile that was once always there now became oh so rare. The only person who reminded him that he still had a shred of humanity left within him was now telling him—begging him—to throw that humanity away. So that Mika could survive.

Then there’s Yuu. He said so himself that living. Was. Painful. He thought life was over when his parents abandoned him. He thought it again when he and the orphans tried to escape the vampire city. Every time he closed his eyes he saw that scene, so traumatizing that he no longer even remembered it correctly. But it hurt all the same. Life hurt even when he wasn’t awake, when the nightmares haunted his only outlet for escaping reality. Yet just the thought of Mika, even when he thought Mika was dead, kept him alive. It doesn’t matter if it was just for vengeance. Any reason is a good enough reason to live. And when they reunited he changed, got his shit together like he “found a whole new reason to live,” as Shinoa said. Fighting wasn’t about revenge anymore. It wasn’t even about his own survival. It was about saving the ones he cared about. Saving the one he loved.

Even if that meant saving a monster.

TL;DR: MikaYuu teaches us that life, no matter how painful it gets, is worth living because one day you’ll find a reason that will make you grateful you stayed.

But you have to be alive to see it.

Now back to our regularly scheduled gay