repost ,   replacing the old information with your muse’s information . then pass it on to some of your mutuals for a better understanding of their muses .

face claim   :   Adam Driver (specifically throughout seasons 2-3 of Girls).
name   :   Job Elijah Edwards.
age   :   Twenty eight.
gender   :   CIS male.
nationality   :   American.
birthplace   :   Englewood, Colorado.
birthday   :   March 19th, 1989.
star sign   :   Pisces.
residence   :   Nowhere; drifter. Trailers/motels/park benches/someone’s couch.
marital status   : Single AF.
alignment   :   Lawful Good.


drink   :   Water, beer (mostly Bud), whiskey, coffee.
food   :   Pancakes, waffles, hash browns, french toast, doughnuts, bacon, eggs in any form, ice cream, fruits; basically, breakfast foods & friends.
day or night   :   Day. David owns the night.
song   :   Praying Arm Lane by Sixteen Horsepower.
quote   :   “ There would be no eulogies for Bob, no photographs of his body would be sold in sundries stores, no people would crowd the streets in the rain to see his funeral cortege, no biographies would be written about him, no children named after him, no one would ever pay twenty-five cents to stand in the rooms he grew up in. The shotgun would ignite, and Ella Mae would scream, but Robert Ford would only lay on the floor and look at the ceiling, the light going out of his eyes before he could find the right words.” (The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Dir. Andrew Dominik).
pet   :   Doesn’t have one; absolutely loves dogs.
color   :   Yellow ochre.


body type   :   Lanky. Very slightly toned; long, awkward limbs.
eye colour   :   Dark brown.
hair colour   :   Black.
body reference   : Here, here and here.

tagged by   :   @splatteredfingers TY TY <3
tagging   :   @exsolutoque (Bish?), @grveyardxgirl, @ghostsandwhiskey / @feverintersomnia (yeah I know you were already tagged IDFC), @happymediium, @demonbitch, @wingclipped, @necrctic, @holiar (Moss!), @inrovina, @kiantrev

The Brown Bottle

Pairings: Alpha!Werewolf!Sam x Omega!Werewolf!Reader - A/B/O

Word Count: 3400+

Summary: Sam is rough around the edges, you do your best to avoid him until one night you discover he’s your true mate and instincts take over. This is really just a lot of smut and a little plot to ease things along. 

My twist on a/b/o dynamics.

Beta:  @just-another-busy-fangirl

Warnings: NSFW gif, knotting, mating, breeding, dominance, claiming, fingering, unprotected sex, biting, dirty talk, rough sex, some dom/sub overtones.

Your name: submit What is this?

You stop in your tracks, clutching an open hand over your abdomen.

“Shit,” you mumble under your breath as an afterthought. Shit doesn’t quite do this kind of pain justice. This cycle’s heat has brought what your mother, Millie (owner and proprietor of The Brown Bottle), refers to as The Real Motherfuckers. The kind of cramps that stop a woman unexpectedly while on her way to work well after sundown. The two generic suppressants you popped an hour earlier aren’t working as well as you hoped and you find yourself wishing you’d taken a third.

These are indeed The Real Motherfuckers.

Keep reading

Dean’s Plaid

Summary: You and Dean do NOT get along. Until the night that you do.

Warning: smut, anger sex

Word Count: 3200

A/N: Hope y’all enjoy some Dean smut! XOXO

There are two things in the world you really hate: plaid and Dean Winchester.

There are plenty of things that you don’t like, that irritate and annoy you, that you’d rather not deal with. But those are the only two things you actively hate. A store with a window display of plaid clothing is enough to get your blood boiling these days. And Dean? Well, you make sure you never think of Dean. That just tailspins your world into a mess of violent anger for days before it wears off.

So the fact that you are currently wearing one of Dean Winchester’s plaid shirts, listening to him hum along with the radio as he drives you to his motel?

Yeah. You’re gonna need something to kill.

Or you could just kill Dean.

Keep reading

Dream Daddy High School/College AU

WRITERS NOTE: I can’t actually write and it’s 3 AM, so most of the ideas are fairly vague and are not very elaborate. Honestly, I can’t really remember any smaller details about each of the dad’s. 

Please tell me if something is getting to OC and feel free to send me any ideas and I might make a master post if this gains any interest (which I doubt, I just need to get this written down before I forget)

Craig Cahn - a literal human trash bag (filled with trash, he is not trash), surprisingly okay-ish grades, fantastic procrastinator, lethargic and indecisive AF, really good at beer pong, eats in class, great actor, gets in trouble for using slang in his essays and being late for class every day

Hugo Vega - on the wrestling team, an Advanced Placement student, fond of wine (regardless of his age), surprisingly strong, grew out of his childhood lactose intolerance (I did, it was really nice), works at a library or bookstore but ends up hiding in the back to read (I did this), gets in trouble for calling out the staff and students when they get facts wrong

Damien Bloodmarch - (I don’t know when he transitioned, but I’ll use he/him) a classy goth, but he’s still a poor student (I can relate to this on a personal level), closeted anime fan, is/was a pescetarian in HS before becoming a full fledged vegetarian, has really nice cursive (probably uses a fountain pen), is tired of people calling his cloak a cape, gets in trouble for telling people off who call him Emo (also me)

Mat Sella - a music/band student (obviously), probs a stoner, but he like, doesn’t suck? (you know the type, I hope), barista at the local coffee shop but it’s not local because he doesn’t want to see his classmates, hates people touching his instruments (I feel you), his headphones/earbuds are practically grafted to him, gets in trouble for smuggling cats into the dorms/classes and for listing to music, singing, or humming in class

Brian Harding - an amazing cook, a shop kid, great for camping trips, super competitive (obviously), great at anything involving cards (ex. poker, and go fish), part of the gardening club, a handy man, gets in trouble for unknowingly provoking other kids and staff

Robert Small - the delinquent, is street smart, junior con man, all his papers are about cryptids, fond of whiskey (regardless of his age), will protect his leather jacket with his life, will deny that he wears eyeliner (based off of angsty teen Dan Avidan from Game Grumps, his voice actor), the best liar, gets in trouble for his jokes,  bringing knives to school and getting into fights when people call him short/small (I HC that he’s the shortest dad, I think I saw it somewhere)

Joseph Christiansen- the President of the Bible study club every Thursday, is/was a Scout, the top student in Baking 101, charismatic AF, very honest, though a little overbearing, rides his skateboard to school/class, brings baked goods to school to give out, gets in trouble for causing drama because he critiqued their outfit or he was too blunt

jealous desires (jeff atkins)

Pairing: Jeff Atkins x Reader

Request: Omgggg please do a jealous Jeff. Like someone keeps flirting with you at a party and it becomes uncomfortable and Jeff(your boyfriend )pushing them back and kissing you😭. If you’re not comfortable writing this I completely understand. And I hope your page goes far. And by the looks of it you seem like a really good writer. ❤❤

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this! It’s my very first oneshot and I tried to make it as good as you imagined to be! And thanks so much for the compliment! I appreciate it! I also have 1 more request in my inbox to do so leave some requests!

Originally posted by painfulblisss

(this gif is perfect for this scenario aha)

The smell of alcohol filled the house while naive teenagers were sipping their red cups while moving their hips to the blasting music.

And among those people was a girl named Y/N.

As her hair flew across her back, the boys of Liberty High awed her presence. But as she walked through the crowd, one boy had a pout on his face as he watched his girlfriend walked with her friends.

Jeff Atkins was groaning to Clay as he said, “I just can’t help it. They know I’m Y/N’s boyfriend, but why won’t they accept it?”

“Jeff, instead of complaining maybe you should go to Y/N and talk to her about it.” Said the boy once oblivious of love.

“Maybe you- See! Zach’s flirting with her now.” 

“Jeff, you’re being ridiculous. Who’s Y/N dating?” Clay asked.

“Jensen, what does that have to do with-”

“Jeff, just answer me.” He repeated.

“Y/N’s dating me.” Jeff mumbled.

“See! Now, go get her back.” Clay said with a small smile.

Y/N wanted to leave the party. Zach Dempsey had been flirting with her for the past 10 minutes and all she wanted was for Jeff to come.

“You know, this beer tastes good, but I bet you taste better.” Zach said with a small smirk on his face.

You made a face of disgust as you tried to move back. Zach got closer to you and now all you wanted to do was smack him in the face.


Soft lips come upon your lips as you start to think. These lips were familiar, they were Jeff’s.

Lips were moving in sync as people continued to dance to the music.

And as all this happened, Clay and Hannah smiled as they adored the sweetness happening throughout this mishap. 

Beer Brands & Witchcraft

Everyone enjoys a good beer and everyone has a brand of beer they’re loyal to, but what if you’re a witch and you wanna use your beer in your craft? Well beer already is powerful, it’s good for grounding, cleansing, and general good energies but certain brands and bottle color might effect or change the properties and uses.

Originally posted by astrangeteenage-girl

  • Rolling Rock - This brand is a pale brew bottled in a green bottle and made from wheat and barley. Barley is used in protection and healing but the green bottle could represent good fortune and money so I’d recommend using this brand in money, healing, and luck spells, maybe even in warding too.
  • Heineken - Another brand that is a pale brew and bottled in green, like Rolling Rock it can be used in good luck and money spells.
  • Budweiser - Another pale brew brand but made from rice and barley, rice brings healing, fertility, protection, and security and the coloring of the bottle, brown, represents home, hearth, stability, and honesty. So, for protection spells, fertility spells, and divination use this brand.
  • Guinness - All the way from Ireland now we have the dark brew and made from barley, it’s strong and powerful taste and aroma will add oomph if you add this to spells, specifically fertility and protection spells.
  • Corona - A brew made from rice and corn, since we already covered rice early I’m gonna move onto what corn represents; corn represents prosperity and abundance so you can use these in healing, fertility, money spells, and divination. 
  • Blue Moon - This is a brew I haven’t actually gotten the chance to use yet but it’s got some great properties. Blue Moon is made with orange peels, orange peels can be used for divination and love. So Blue Moon is great for divination and love spells.
  • Yuengling - This beer is another pale brew made from corn and barley, use in money, healing, and fertility spells.
Little Librarian

Requested: noppidy nope

Pairing: Jeff Atkins x reader

Warnings: drinking, smoking, cussing, self hate, angst, fluff.

Words: 2,719

“Come on, you promised.” Hannah said, stopping at the open door. “Plus, we’re already here.”

“I can always turn around.” You sighed.

“You’d abandon me like that?” She pouted.

You only rolled your eyes and nodded towards the door. Hannah let out a cute squeal and took a hold of your hand and dragged you inside. Hannah greeted her friends as you both weaved through the people packed into Bryce’s party.

You both made it to the kitchen and Hannah grabbed two beers. You smiled and gently took it from her hands, although you knew you weren’t going to drink it. It wasn’t your thing.

For nearly an hour you followed Hannah around like a lost puppy. Eventually you both sat down at a table outside, you sober and awkward while Hannah was tipsy and relaxed. You were never one for parties, but Hannah was your best friend and you, for some reason, promised to accompany her to one.

You wanted to go back and punch your yesterday self in the mouth.

“I spy with my little eye; a cute tutor and his cute student.” Hannah tapped the table grabbing your attention. “Jeff! Clay!” She screamed over the music in the back yard.

“Hey, Hannah, Y/N.” Clay said semi-awkwardly.

“‘Sup ladies.” Jeff greeted, with that perfect smile that left you without words, even after years of crushing on him.

Actually everything about him left you completely disarmed. The beautiful fluff that sat atop of his head, the crinkle in his nose when he laughed, the full lips that dared you to kiss him without regret, those pretty blue eyes that found yours as you picked out your favourite parts of him.

“You alright?” He asked while you quickly averted your whole head to the ground, attempting to hide your reddened cheeks.

“Y-yeah! I’m good.” You sputtered out quietly.

“She’d be a little better if she actually drank the beer I got her.” Hannah huffed.

“Not thirsty.” You looked back up to Hannah.

“You’ve been here for an hour and you’ve done nothing but follow me around and mope.” Hannah rolled her eyes. “Go have fun.”

“I’m content right here.” You declined.

Jeff pitched in. “C’mon, little librarian,” Little librarian, that was his nickname for you. He had been calling you that since you had met, because at first he had mistook you for one when you bumped into each other in the library. “Come dance with me.”

“I can’t dance.” You tried weakly, but he pulled you from your seat anyway.

“Don’t listen to her! She’s in dance!” Hannah yelped.

“Hannah! You traitor!” You gasped as Jeff tugged you into the middle of the mess of grinding people.

You internally cringed at the feeling of their sweaty bodies surrounding you. But after a moment the feeling of hands on your hips brought you out of your thoughts with a slight jump.

“At least pretend to have fun? You’re starting to hurt my feelings.” Jeff joked as he pulled you closer.

You blushed. “Sorry, I’m not used to this.” you swayed your hips to the music.

“Being at a party or being at Bryce’s party?” He guided your hip’s movements.

“Both.” You laughed.

“I see.” He laughed along with you. “You and Clay are impossible nerds.” You were practically grinding against him now.

“I’m sorry I don’t really fit the bill to be a party girl, I’m more of a lonesome bookworm.” You shrugged.

“I see you more as a sexy librarian.” Jeff laughed before someone called his name and practically ripped him away from you.

“Jeff, man, come on. Group of cuties wanna talk to you.” Some guy, whose name you’d never know, tried pulling the baseball boy away much to his protest.

“Dude, right now?” Jeff tried not to snap at the boy.

“Oh come on, Jeff. Look, you don’t even have to hook up with the brunette chick, just keep her busy so I can score her friend.” The guy asked. “Please, be a bro, bro.” He begged.

“But…” He trailed off looking back at you.

“Oh, don’t worry about me. Go help your friend out. I’ll just go find Hannah or something.” You urged.

“I’ll be right back, alright?” Jeff started to walk away. “Wait for me, librarian!” He called a little ways away.

For half an hour, you stood on the wall, waiting,  while Jeff stood talking up a storm with the beautiful brunette, his friend snogging the redhead a few feet over. You willed yourself not to feel jealous over it, instead you felt heartbroken. Which was no better, but you couldn’t help it.

Annoyed with your mindset, you looked down at the cooler of beers. With a deep breath you reached down to snag the cold glass from the ice. You quickly twisted the top off and downed half the bitter drink. After cringing a little you tipped it back and finished it off.

“Whoa, slow down, there.” Bryce’s voice startled her as she started on her second beer.

“I’m good, I would like to get as drunk as possible as fast as possible.” You ignored him a raised the bottle back to your lips.

“Well, if that’s the case,” He grabbed her beer from her hand and started back inside. “Follow me.”

Part of you told you to do the opposite and run in the other direction. But, alas, your eyes fell on the baseball player and the cute girl, who seemed to have gotten closer since the last time you looked. You decided against your chest right mind and followed Bryce inside.

This was where he gave you a red solo cup filled with what looked like water. You raised an eyebrow at him and he nodded for you to drink it. With a slight shrug you tipped the cup back and swallowed half the beverage, this time the burn sliding down your throat made you cringe deeply.

You shook your head, already feeling it. “Thanks Bryce.” With that you finished the drink and grabbed another one.

“Anytime.” He nodded. “What’s got you all sour?”

“My hopeless crush.” You huffed, sparing a glance at the couple in the back yard. He was now leaning against the fence with his hands on her hips and she was tracing patterns onto her chest.

“Really? Jeff? That’s who you’re pining for?” Bryce laughed.

“Yeah, yeah. The quiet library nerd has heart eyes for the hot ass baseball star. Hilarious.” You rolled your eyes and finished off your drink, again.

He handed you a new one. “Well, in my time of knowing Atkins, he was never into the shy, library girls. No offense.”

“None taken.” You had know that was true. “How about we stop talking about Jeff and we started getting wasted?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

With that, you spent most of the night with Bryce and the other boys. Mostly Zach and Justin, they had quickly becoming your favourites. They were funny and sweet. Not sweeter than Jeff.

You shook your head again, trying to rid your brain of Jeff related thoughts and tipped your cup back. You made a game for yourself. Every time you thought about Jeff you drank. It turned out he was on your mind a lot. So needless to say, you were pretty drunk.

You were now sitting between Bryce and Justin, most of the party playing King cup, a card game where you had to do something based on the card you. Bryce drew a four card; give two, take two.

Bryce grabbed four shot glasses and filled them all the way up. He took two and slid two over to you. You grinned and quickly threw back the burning liquid, easily.

The crowd cheered you on, just as drunk as you were. As you finished your last shot, you felt a hand on your thigh. Turning, you saw that it was Bryce. You gently moved his hand from your leg.

Bryce leaned over to talk into your ear. “Relax, no one will notice.” He put his opposite hand on her thigh this time, while his other slid over her shoulders.

“it’s just a little too hot to be this close though.” You giggled drunkenly.

“Well then, why don’t we shed a few layers.” He whispered and trailed his fingers up her shirt.

“Nope, I think I’ll keep my clothes on.” You giggled again. Is this what being drunk was like? Giggling nonstop?

Suddenly, cold seeping through your shirt brought you out of your thoughts making you jump up.  “Whoa, careful, Y/N!” Justin caught you as you wobbled.

“Shit, I’m sorry. Thought your tits could use something to drink.” Bryce joked, as he had spilled his drink on you.

“Come on, I’ll help you get cleaned up.” Jessica pulled you towards the bathroom. “We’ll be right back guys.”

As you made it to the bathroom, Jessica quickly helped you pull off your T-shirt. You both quickly trying to clean it up with the extreme soft towels.

“Dude, my mother would kill me if she knew these are what her expensive towels were being used for.” You laughed.

“Oh shit! Same!” Jessica agreed, laughing with you.

Eventually, it was settled that you wouldn’t be able to wear that shirt again. “You wait here, I’m going to go get my jacket.” Jessica rushed out of the bathroom, closing the door for you.

You continued to dry your shirt as best you could. It was your favourites, there was no way you’d let it fall to the likes of alcohol. You giggled to yourself, was your shirt a princess that you had to save from the alcohol dragon?

The door opened and you looked up, still giggling a little to find Bryce. “You know, it’s rude to just walk into a bathroom without knocking.”

“Well, here, to make up for ruining your shirt and my rudeness.” He reached out to hand you another drink.

“You are forgiven.” You downed most of the drink. This time it tasted weird, sweeter than your other drinks. You shrugged it off and finished it.

I really should go try and find- whoa, shit.” You moved to stand and the room began to spin.

“Careful, there, Y/N.” Bryce grabbed you around your waist, to steady you.

“I’m fine, just really, really dizzy.” You leaned against Bryce.

“Let’s get you to a room.” He started to drag her out of the bathroom.

“But I have to wait for Jess…” You trailed off into a giggle.

Bryce ignored you and pulled you along. Finally you two slipped into a dark room. I’m scared of the dark bad things happen in the dark. You giggled to yourself again.

You felt Bryce lay your down on the bed, and your head lolled about a little. You almost dismissed the dipping of the the bed around you, but your brain was slightly awakened by the feeling of lips pressed against your neck.

“Bryce, quit it.” You laughed pushing at him.

But he continued on down to your chest. In the back if your alcohol induced mind, alarms were going off. You shoved at him, but your ditsy mind was weakening you.

He pinned your arms down and you begun to get scared. You tried to break through your haze and do something but all that came out was a weak yell.

Bryce leaned up over you and as you opened your mouth to try and scream, he slammed his lips into yours. You squirmed and tried to keep your lips closed but when his hand slipped into your pants and into you roughly, you cried out.

Satisfied with your opened mouth, his tongue slid inside. The feeling made you fag, and tears welled in your eyes. This was happening. There was nothing you could do.

I’m going to be raped.

After a moment moment of painful fingering, Bryce pulled his hand out of your pants and started to push them down. Something in your mind snapped. You were not about to let this happen.

You bit down on his tongue. Hard. As he reared back in pain you let out a scream. As loud as you could. You scream was cut off by a harsh slap to your cheek.

The blow disoriented you more than your drunkenness itself. But still, you kicked your feet at him, one of them successfully hitting their target.

As soon as Bryce tumbled to the ground in pain the door flew open. The bright light from the hallway made you squint your eyes.

Mm, that feels nice. You kept your eyes closed, suddenly extremely exhausted now. You felt the bed dipped again and a hand grab your bruising face.

“No, get off.” You whined, pushing at the person, whom your mind suspected as Bryce.

“Hey, hey, relax. It’s me, little librarian.” Little librarian? Now is not the time to be thinking of Jeff, Y/N. He’s the reason you’re in this mess.

That wasn’t true, you were the reason you were in this mess. You threw yourself a pity party because the guy you were practically in love with didn’t like you back. Shit, you were pathetic.

“Come on, you gotta stand for me.” The person tried to pull you up.

“No, stop it, Bryce.” You protested.

“Look at me. Y/N, open your eyes and look at me.” You did as you were told, and sure enough there was Jeff in all his concerned glory.

“Jeff…” Tears welled in her eyes.

“Hey, there, little librarian.” He said softly, touching your cheek. You hissed and jerked away from his touch. “He hit you.”

It was more of an angry statement than a question but you nodded, closing your eyes. You felt him gently wipe away the tears that slipped out.

“Come, let’s get you out of here.” He helped you fix your pants and pulled his jacket over your shoulders.

It was only now, that you noticed, the others in the room. Zach and Justin holding Bryce against the wall, Hannah, Clay and Jess watching you with concerned eyes. You gave them all a drowsy wave as Jeff pulled you up into his arms.

“Bryce, you’re lucky I don’t have my bat with me, or I’d break your knees.” Jeff called out as he carried you out to his car.

You didn’t even make it out if the house before you fallen asleep.

“I’m never drinking again…” You groaned into your pillow.

“That’s what everyone says. But in your defense you were also drugged.” The commenting voice from the side of your bed made you sit up startled.

“Woah, there, relax.” It was Jeff.

You sighed grabbing your head. “What are you doing here, Jeff?”

“Taking care of my favourite librarian, where else would I be?” He handed you a glass of water.

“I dunno, maybe with the pretty brunette girl from last night.” You said quietly.

“Carly? Not my type.” Jeff shrugged. “I’m more into sexy librarians.”

You laughed at his words and shook your head. “No you’re not, Bryce said you weren’t.”

“He also drugged and tried to raped you.” He gently tilting your chin up. “Bryce’s mindset isn’t correct.”

You didn’t say anything as his words sunk in. You watched his face lean closer to yours slowly, but being impatient, you closed the distance yourself. You prayed that you were right.

It seemed you were because he quickly deepened the kiss. His hand holding the back of your head pulling you closer while yours slid into his hair.

“Oh my shit!” Hannah suddenly yelped from the doorway making you two break apart, panting. Why can’t I get Clay to kiss me like that… or at all?” She whined.

“She kissed me.” Jeff shrugged making you blushed. “I was just happily returning it.”

“What happened? I heard yelling.” Clay appeared next to Hannah and she looked at him.  “What?”

“Screw it.” Hannah snagged the boy’s collar and yanked him into her lips. Clay’s eyes were wide and he let out a startled grunt. Finally he caught on and pressed into her lips, kissing back.

“Now that they’re distracted…” Jeff leaned his head against yours. “Will you be my little librarian?”

“I already was.”

3. Wingman // Nurseydex

« {Part 3 of my Valentine’s collection.} »

a/n: sorry, this is two days late, but it’s also almost 3k, so…. hopefully that makes up for the tardiness? also! please note that this fic doesn’t have anything to do with ngozi’s short comic, wingman. your characters are safe. content warning for underage alcohol usage.

This is definitely not what Dex signed up for.

He’d expected Nursey Patrol to involve limiting Nursey’s shots and keeping him from dancing on tables, which, okay, would have sucked, but this is honestly not much better.

“Soooo, have you met Dex?” Nursey says for the third time this night, like imitating Neil Patrick Harris is still funny. He’s dragged Dex over to yet another group of female athletes that he’s going to have to do his best to avoid for the next three years of his college career. Nice.

“Hi,” Dex says awkwardly. “I’m Dex.”

“Pssh, I just said that,” Nursey says, slinging an arm over Dex’s shoulder and leaning on him only a little more heavily than he might have done sober. “He’s usually a lot brighter than this, ladies. He’s a CompSci major­—super smart with computers and shit. Plus all that typing means he’s good with his fingers, if you know what I mean. Just look at those hands—”

“Okay, that’s enough, Nurse. Sorry, you guys, um. Bye.”

He pulls Nursey away from the girls and—fuck, he’s pretty sure one of them is in his Stats class, dammit. Nursey stumbles behind him obediently, letting Dex drag him over to the kitchen. Dex fills Nursey a glass of water and Nursey drinks it dutifully, standing next to the fridge.

“Okay, so remind me why you’re trying to humiliate me in front of half of Samwell’s female population?” Dex demands when Nursey finishes the glass.

“‘M not humiliating you,” Nursey insists, then waggles his ridiculous eyebrows. “I’m trying to get you laid.”

Keep reading