good vegetables

ok this my list of hoe tips and life tips in general

- can’t get ur pussy smooth?? always prickly?? shave diagonally and horizontally instead of up and down, and always use a new blade

- can’t get ur pussy soft?? shave with hair conditioner and massage it in for like 30 seconds before. after u shave, massage with baby oil, and lotion after a shower

- EXFOLIATE. exfoliating is the key to life. mix used coffee grounds with a moisturizing oil (olive or coconut is best). rub that shit all over your legs before you shave until ur hands start to feel funny

- dry feet?? bih me too. rub a fuck ton of regular lotion (or foot cream if u fancy, even Vaseline works) all over your feet and put double socks (or fuzzy socks) on before bed. yass

- this one is the most basic but pls drink water. it’ll clear ur skin, flush out your kidneys to prevent bladder infections, and ur pussy gonna be wet asf

- salt, fat, caffeine, dairy, etc. r gonna make u taste all funky down there. fruits, veggies, and anything w high water content is gonna make u taste fresh/sweet

- smoking and drinking also gonna make u taste funky. and smoking is especially bad for u, so put out the cig babe

- using soap on ur pussy gonna fuck up ur pH bad. the vagina is a self cleaning device, and all u need is a really soft washcloth (or even a cotton shirt) and some water, let ur body do ur thing

- if ur used to wearing tampons and that’s what u find comfortable, use a menstrual cup! very sanitary and will save u a TON of money in the long run

- want a natural lip plumper?? mix a lil bit of cinnamon and honey, and gently rub it into your lips w a soft toothbrush n leave it on for a min. slather on some chapstick n ur plump n soft

- BUY A VIBRATOR. please do it. it will save ur fucking life

- cotton panties or no panties sis. ur kitty needs to breathe and cotton/no panties will prevent bacterial and fungal infection

- got hair on ur face? got rough skin? GURL SHAVE IT! wash your face as normal and pat dry, gently run a clean razor over any areas (cheeks, chin, neck). tone and moisturize like a motherfucker. smooth!

- pubic hair is healthy and good and keeps ur vag clean! don’t shave it unless YOU want to, don’t leave that decision up to ur nasty man

- allow urself junk in moderation. it’ll make making healthy choices easier if u allow urself a little treat every once in a while

- a simple equation for a good meal: vegetable + grain/carb, protein

- do ur fucking homework and do it on time

- rubbing a little bit of petroleum jelly on ur pressure points before spraying perfume will make it last longer

- hair holds onto scents v easily. wanna smell like a goddess????,,, spritz that hair

- kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick is blowjob proof. get messy n be on point!

- urban decay all nighter setting spray is gonna save ur life. it’ll keep ur shit in place when u getting dicked, if u cryin, chokin on dick, w/e u like to do

- if ur having trouble getting wet even after sufficient foreplay, a little bit of water based lube does WONDERS. also won’t deteriorate condoms (oil) or get gritty (silicone)

- need to stretch out ur shoes?? fill two ziploc bags with water and put them in ur shoes. put shoes in the freezer until water freezes solid, and dethaw with a hairdryer. especially effective on leather!

- having problems deepthroating? make sure ur throat is in line with ur mouth, if it’s not the dick won’t go down

- can’t deepthroat at all? cover ur teeth with ur top lip and press ur tongue to the roof of ur mouth while he thrusts. 10/10!

- communication w ur partner during sex will make it a trillion million times more satisfying

- frizzy hair? put conditioner on the tips of your hair (nape of the neck and down) and shampoo right on ur scalp. volumizes without frizzing!

- this one kinda weird but don’t hold ur pee unless u wanna mean bladder infection/UTI

- pee after u masturbate please. u never know what can shimmy up ur urethra, even when ur playin w the little man in the sailboat

- keep a pair of spare glasses with u for when ur contacts dry out. lifesaver

- always keep extra undies, an extra shirt, makeup remover, moisturizer, and comfy shoes in ur car/bag if u can fit all of it

- apply dry shampoo the night before ur gonna need it. it’ll soak up the oil before it sits on ur hair. reapply in the morning n style accordingly

- apple cider vinegar mixed with water works as a good toner if u ain’t got no moneyyyy

- castor oil on ur brows and lashes every night will make them thicker and longer. even just one day will help (bc they will be shiny and moisturized)

ill probs add onto this when i think of more!

Do you think that, to aliens, we humans are like the supreme omnivores of the universe?

I mean, honestly, one of the greatest advantages we have as a species is our willingness to eat, or at least try to eat, just about anything.

Allergies, cultural differences, preferred diets, and intolerances, and general tastes for flavors aside, the average human is capable of finding a way to consume most anything we can get in our mouth.

Meat? Boom. Vegetables? Pretty good. Fruits? Love it. Bugs? Hey if we had to. Fish? Hell yeah. Eggs? Yeah man. Organs? Sure thing. Milk, honey, and food products made in other creatures? Classic.

Hell, if something isn’t immediately poisonous or just disgusting tasting, or even just flat undigestable, chances are a human can and will eat it.

Honestly, even if something is known to be poisonous (i.e. pufferfish), we’re not gonna rest until we find some part of it that’s not poisonous so we can eat that.

Some humans even will eat disgusting things, either to prove they can, or because they’ve found a way to make it palatable just so that they can actually eat it.

Especially consider that if other alien species we encounter are either flat herbivores or obligate carnivores. It might be to the concern of some newer crew members just how much the humans on board eat and what variety they will consume if given the chance; especially if they’re concerned about food rations being low. Or if they get to an unexplored world and the human is commenting about strange flora and fauna they find and comment how much it resembles foodstuffs on their home planet. Until they realize the humans are saying it about a LOT of the stuff on this unexplored world. To the point they’re worried that either the humans will eat something that would get them sick/poisoned, or they’ll end up just completely devouring anything and everything they see on the planet like a swarm of starved locusts.

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🥒Zucchini Hash Browns🥒 

  • Mercy: Little one, eat your vegetables.
  • Efi: Aww, but don't wanna!
  • Orisa: But vegetables are good for your body, Efi.
  • McCree: Now now, the youngins' doesn't have to eat everything.
  • Mercy: Jesse! Don't condone her resistance!
  • Junkrat: But veggies are piss poor they are. Right fuckin nasty!
  • Orisa: Language!
  • Junkrat: Gesundheit.
  • Mercy: You know who else ate their vegetables? Jesus. Jesus ate his vegetables.
  • McCree: Ya know who else is dead now? Jesus. Jesus is dead now.
  • All: ...
  • Orisa: *muffled laughter*

today’s lunch. best part about it is that I got my dad to eat it too! he has diabetes and kinda likes to ignore it, so I’m trying to make more of my meals that he’d like so I can casually offer some to him as if I accidentally made a serving too many hehe. fingers crossed it works!!
these are rice noodles with carrots, broccoli, zucc, yellow squash, mushrooms (that I cooked separately bc he doesnt like them) with lime juice, tamari sauce, sesame seeds, avo, chili power, pepper, and a pinch of turmeric I added for a nutrient boost 💪🏼 I sautéed it all in a large pan! it’s been my absolute fav meal for the past few months. and so quick + easy!

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🥕Carrot Cake Cupcakes🥕 

anonymous asked:

don't know if you watch pd101 but if you do could you pleaaaase write a kang daniel college!au? he has effectively ruined my life 🙃🙃🙃🙃

i do!! ill write a mini one for him ^^

  • major: public health + paramedic certificate because he wants to work as a part of an ER response team
  • sports: dance team, football team
  • is essentially the school sweetheart and everyone knows him as the guy who’d give you the shirt off his back if you asked
  • quite literally,,,,jisung played a joke once and asked daniel if he could borrow his shirt because his next period class was SUPER cold and daniel,,,,,,,,,,literally took off his shirt
  • rumor has it some chick fainted from the sight of his bare shoulders but no one knows if this was confirmed or not (seongwoo claims it totally is true)
  • but like he really does his best to try and help others out,,,especially freshman or younger students in the course who seem to be struggling with adjusting to like college life
  • he’s like the reliable big brother who is smiley and soft and will teach you silly dance moves on the quad
  • but is also super serious about helping people and isn’t scared of anything, from jumping into a fire to save someone in need of medical assistance to carrying people who’ve broken legs,,,,,,,
  • also let’s take a moment to imagine daniel in the paramedic like get up like the uniform,,,,thank u 
  • everyone thinks its super adorable that daniel’s first rescue story was saving his cat who got stuck in a tree
  • like how TYPICAL and CORNY but also,,,,,,he’s an angel who walks the earth amiright
  • seongwoo is always like “my bestfriend is going to be the next iron man~ captian,,,,where did you study again my dude??? canada?? captain CANADA” 
  • and daniel is like embarrassed but also,,,,,he loves his friends and is happy they support him but seriously captain canada thats worse than when jisung got the football team to refer to him as quarterback cat-lover
  • you’re actually one of the TAs for one of the tests in the paramedic course and there’s a requirement of paramedics being able to carry at least 125 pounds by themselves and you’re supposed to be checking off who can pick up the human dummy and who cant
  • and so you’re going down the list and ur like “next,,,,kang daniel?”
  • and you don’t look up when he steps over you just motion with your hand toward the dummy and you’re like “pick him up and walk three laps around the room”
  • and when you look up you almost drop your clipboard because ,,,, this handsome boy smiles and is like sure!! and uve never seen someone so happy to drag around a plastic human before
  • but there he is,,,,hosting the dummy up like it weighs n o t h i n g
  • and he turns to u and is like “can i try carrying two?” and ur like ,,,,uh,,,,,s,,,sure???
  • and once again he baffles you,,,picking up the other dummy and going on his merry way
  • and in what seems like the shortest period of time than everyone else you tested he does his three circles and stops in front of you
  • carefully setting the dummy’s down and wiping at his forehead,,,,that pretty grin on his face
  • and he’s like “all good??”
  • and ur like,,,,y,,,yes,,,,um,,,,,,,,yes you’re good
  • with a bow he says thanks and leaves the room and you’re like what,,,,,,who,,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • and you look down at his name again and you’re like “kang daniel,,,,,,,are you superhuman/!??!?!”
  • for the next week you can’t get him off your mind,,,and you’re sure it’s because he’s not only strong and cute but because you’ve been a TA for the program for this whole semester and no one has ever just looked that happy to do the tests
  • and one afternoon you’re eating lunch with a friend in the campus cafe when you spot daniel,,,,at a table with his health books stacked up near his tray (which is also stacked with food)
  • ad at some point ur friend is like heY,,, hEY stop staring you’re going to DROOL
  • and ur like !!!!!! WOOPS but they also nudge and are like “kang daniel huh? he’s cuuuuute~ go talk to him!!!” and ur like HA,,,I ,,,,,,,,wasn’tlookingathimiwaslookingathis,,,,,sandwich
  • and ur friend rolls their eyes but when u look back daniel???? is staring back at you
  • and when you make eye contact he perks up and waves and ur like ?????????? looking around and then pointing at urself and he nods and waves u over
  • and u get up and ur friend lets out a whistle as you go to sit beside him and ur like ,,,,hey,,,, and he smiles again and the way his cheeks go up and his teeth show is SO DAMN CUTE
  • and he’s like “not to sound full of myself but i noticed you were looking at me for a while, whats up?”
  • and you,,,,,,almost dIE of embarrassment on the spot because oh frick he saw you
  • but you’re also like o,,,oh i ,,,i was just,,,,,um,,,,,,ur the guy who carried two dummies at the test a week ago??? and i was like oH is that you or not you you kno-
  • but daniel just chuckles and closes his book 
  • and he’s like “yep that was me,,,,,but i dont think thats why you were looking.”
  • and you feel ur mouth go dry and you’re like i,,,, um– but daniel just points to your friend with his pen and is like “do you think they’ll be ok with me stealing you away for a little date to the movie tonight?”
  • and ur like!!!!!!!!! ,,,, o,,,oh and u look at ur friend who just shooting hearts and thumbs up at u
  • and daniel is like lol they remind me of jisung but ur also like ,,,, i,,,i think ,,, they’ll be ok with that
  • and daniel winks,,,handing you the pen and rolling up his sleeve
  • and he’s like “here, write your number down and ill call u to set up a time”
  • and u cant believe it as you’re scribbling down ur number,,,,,but it’s true he calls u around 7 and u guys go see a movie and it’s adorable and daniel is a gentleman through and through paying for everything,,,,,telling you he likes the way you look all serious during the dramatic scenes,,,,holding your hand when he takes you back to your dorm
  • even a light kiss on your forehead,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,it’s a dream come true
  • dating college!daniel: he is really good in all his classes but he tends to be LATE so he’s always rushing in the morning but he never fails to send you a ‘good morning, i love you’ text, doesnt really like coffee so u get into the habit of buying him smoothies and he thinks its cute how u remember this about him also those smoothies are really good for his vegetable intake u are so thoughtful, you and daniel adopt the newest paramedic trainee woojin, daniel is suchhhhh a tease he always sneaks up behind you when ur studying to wrap u up in his arms and kiss on your neck, jisung always makes faces when u guys pda but tbh he loVES seeing daniel so happy with you, seongwoo is like “im his original soulmate” but he’s just joking hehe, daniel sends u pics of cats he sees on the street, you guys get matching rings like a month into it because kang daniel goes HARD for love, favorite dates range from laser tag to night fireworks on the beach, thinks its cute when you wear his flannels to class or during finals because u guys are both studying and u cant see him so often but they remind you of him, daniel takes you with him to get his first tattoo and u hold his hand the whole time, he’s kinda bad at realizing he isnt invincible so sometimes ull find scrapes on him and have to bandage him up, did anyone say morning after laughter under the sheets: yeah i did for KANG DANIEL who loves skinship and YOU 
the most important adult life-hack i can possibly share with you guys: roasting vegetables

so when i was a kid i hated vegetables because my parents used to boil them and boiled vegetables are disgusting but i recently discovered that roasting vegetables is the fuckin BOMB and i have a certain recipe that makes them even MORE bomb and it’s as follows

  1. get yer vegetables (i like to use brussles sprouts, broccoli, sweet potato, squash, beets, and lots and lots of KALE but you can use whatever tf you want, like carrots, bell peppers, cauliflower, etc)
  2. cut them into decently small pieces (like half an inch any which way at most. this will help them cook all the way through and become crispy af). also make sure you cut the broccoli or cauliflower (if you’re using it) into small florets. 
  3. spread them out on a baking sheet (which you should spread aluminum foil onto for easy clean-up) 
  4. make a mixture (depending on how many veggies you’re roasting) of coconut oil, smoked paprika, pepper, salt, and garlic powder. if you happen to have chipotle powder laying around, toss that in too. basically you want to stick it in the microwave and melt the coconut oil. you should have enough to lightly coat every single veggie. 
  5. now you’re gonna put your veggies in the oven on a rack decently close to the top at 375 for about 40 minutes. after this time, your veggies should be cooked, but you want them crispy, so you’re going to turn it up to about 450 for 15 more minutes. by this time you’ll have BEAUTIFUL CRISPY DELICIOUS ROASTED VEGGIES
  6. do not substitute the coconut oil. it’s the most important ingredient. unless you hate coconut then i guess you can. but trust me, it’s just… so fucking good. 
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🌶️Bell Pepper Egg Boats🌶️ 

It’s funny because all the people who are anti-vegan and have knee-jerk reactions………actually agree with the principles of veganism:

- animal cruelty is wrong
- eating more fruits and vegetables is good
- pollution is bad
- protecting and preserving the environment is good
- exploitation is immoral
- it’s wrong for wealthier nations to take advantage of poorer nations
- destroying people’s homes and lands for the benefit of business is criminal
- those who can, SHOULD do what they can to limit, decrease or stop their contribution to and participation in harmful practices

But it’s the word ‘vegan’ that they don’t like.