good pick up line

10

as you wish, anon and @bokutothekid <3

“Don’t know what position you play in quidditch, but you look like a keeper ;^)”

//I would like to thank my dear potterhead friend for that pickup line

PREVIOUS - YOI HP AUs

bonus: he strikes again!!

7

My first attempt at Clexa crack

Edit: since this post has gotten way more attention than I was anticipating I feel the need to say this: the ‘High five Indra’ is completely stolen!! But it’s so good, I think it should be a thing.

Guys. I have it. I know how I want Lance’s bisexuality to be revealed.

I want some super adorable but entirely androgynous alien to hit on him. And it lasts an entire episode. Like they have to use this alien as a guide or something to lead them to a secret Galra base and so the team is watching this alien flirt with Lance for like several hours. And Lance gives as good as he gets with pick-up lines and trading hair compliments. It’s not the POINT of the episode at all, but it’s happening in the background every so often.

And then at the end of the episode the alien leaves blowing Lance a kiss or something, and Lance is just standing there looking blushy and satisfied and grinning, and Keith leans over and asks, “Are you even sure that was a girl?”

And without skipping a single beat Lance just says, “Why would that matter?”

(Bonus that’s when Keith’s entire head explodes)

Friends or more? Sentence Starters

aka “sometimes i feel like i wanna make out with you is that a friend thing to do?” type of things

(send a name and a sentence)

  • “You’ve been pouting ever since I went out on that date, what’s up?”
  • “We always share blankets on the couch, I’m sure sharing the bed for the night is fine too.”
  • “Your lips are getting really close to mine.”
  • “I’m not jealous, but, like, come on, movie night is just for me and you only.”
  • “I dare you to kiss me.”
  • “No, go on the Ferris Wheel with me, not them.”
  • “You can share my jacket with me, since you’re shivering.”
  • “Why is your hand on my ass?”
  • “Cuddle with me.”
  • “I just kissed your forehead, chill.”
  • “Shit, how’d you make me blush like this?”
  • “Are you trying to turn me on?”
  • “Let’s hang out, but I’ll pay for everything, and we can go to this fancy restaurant– No, not a date.”
  • “Okay, I guess this is a date, actually.”
  • “Stop with the tongue thing, it’s strangely attractive.”
  • “I keep telling them we’re not dating, but they keep telling me friends don’t normally make out when drunk.”
  • “I don’t want to be friends with benefits, but I do want something more, I just can’t figure out what.”
  • “When did you get so beautiful?”
  • “If you’re going to dress like that, I’m not going to let you out of my sight.”
  • “Their pick-up line wasn’t as good as any of mine, I’m just saying.”
  • “No, I don’t know how I got a boner, It just kind of happened! It’s because of how you were eating that ice cream, I bet!”
  • “I’m holding your hand because the movie is scary, alright?  It’s a… Terrifying… Rom-com… ….. .”
  • “Why’d you let go of me?”
  • “I accidentally called you my girlfriend/boyfriend today.”
  • “I kissed you because we were drunk.”
  • “I kissed you because I didn’t know what else to do.”
  • “Could you not talk to him/her, please?  I think they’re trying to date you.”
  • “I wish we could stay like this forever…”
  • “I had this dream where we were dating.”
  • “I had this dream where you kissed me, and I kind of want to try it now.”
  • “Why do you always call me when I’m on a date?”
  • “No, I can’t hang out, I’m on a date and you know that.” 
  • “Okay, maybe I am a bit jealous.”
  • “Just remember, he/she’s not the one who taught you how to kiss.”
  • “It’s weird how we’ve been friends for so long, but never went through that ‘crushing’ phase.”
  • “Maybe I want to kiss you because it’s cold and about to be cuddle season.”
  • “I say this a lot, but, look, they’re not good enough for you.”
  • “You’re always wrapping your arms around me in lines.”
  • “I was listening to that love song, and you came to mind.  Weird, right?”
  • “You know this voucher only works for couples, right?”
  • “Are you implying that you want to kiss me?”
  • “Why are you looking at me like that?”
  • “You’re blushing so hard, all I did was say “I love you” in French.”
  • “I could get used to waking up next to you, actually.”
  • “Right… Well… I’m not sure how we ended up kissing like that…”
  • “I’m personally offended that you didn’t get me to be your fake date.”
  • “We would make a pretty good couple.”
  • “The date didn’t go well.  Yeah, she/he didn’t like how I kept mentioning all of our adventures.”
  • “How come I always end up calling you when I can’t fall asleep?”
  • “Sometimes i feel like i wanna make out with you is that a friend thing to do?”
4

Michael: what? find my pun shockingly good?

Jeremy:…..

Michael: Are you staring at me because I’m strikingly good looking?

Jeremy: Adios asshole

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anonymous asked:

imagine dr flug trying to flirt

The poor guy is trying his best, he really is, but the moment he starts talking he trips over his words.

“Ahem…Did you, ah…did you fall from, Hell? No, oh shoot- Uh, from Heaven? Did you fall from Heaven, because…because, your. Uh, your ass is godly? Is that right?”

“H-hey- No, wait. Hey, baby, aren’t you out of…out of…uh…aren’t you tired? Because you’ve been on my- Hold on. You’ve been RUNNING through my mind…uh, all day!”

“Are you, uh…are you from Tennessee? Because, because…You’re the only Tennessee- no. The only, uh, ten I see?”

He really isn’t cut out for this kind of thing. Demencia tries to help once in a while, but just ends up laughing hysterically from how bad he is.

‘do you know any good pick up lines?’ well usually i use nylon type 4 rappelling rope, and sometimes the rolled steel cable on the winch in the quinjet--oh, you mean for gettin dates--