good noodle stars

Ouch

Request: “O’ Noble Octopus! I humbly request thee a h/c(or blurbs even). The Paladins accidentally hurting their s/o during a sparring match. Extra Good Noodle Stars if Lance was giving Keith shit during the spar with his s/o which made him lose control.”

A/N: i thirst for the angst, also thank you my angry larva, for the Extra Good Noodle Stars

Shiro

  • He hit you in the stomach with his activated galra hand
  • It gave you a pretty bad burn, and he felt so bad
  • He immediately stopped everything and was at your side instantly
  • He feels so guilty, and he’s just disgusted with himself for weeks
  • Even though you’re constantly reassuring him that you’re okay, and that you don’t blame him, he still won’t even look at you for days

Keith

  • He sort of stabbed you
  • Lance was making fun of him, and he turned around to shake his knife at him, and then he stabbed you in the side
  • It was shallow, and he didn’t hit anything important, but you very well could have bled out
  • He’s pissed at Lance for distracting him, and he’s mad at himself for being reckless
  • He drops everything and goes to stop the bleeding
  • You insist that you’re fine, but he still carries you to the healing pod
  • He just feels so bad and he doesn’t leave your side, anything that you need, he’ll get it
  • It’s a little scary
  • He feels so guilty, and he just hates himself for hurting you

Lance

  • He shot you with his bayard
  • You two weren’t actually sparring, he was just showing off, and he got distracted, and his finger slipped and pulled the trigger
  • It barely grazed your arm, but it still burned pretty bad
  • He almost had a stroke, he was panicking, he was so scared
  • He was a little over dramatic
  • “Oh mY GOD WE HAVE TO SAW YOUR ARM OFF”
  • “Lance, it’s just a little burn.”
  • “I JUST KILLED MY GIRLFRIEND”
  • But he is really worried, and he feels so guilty
  • You just have to tell him that it’s okay, and that it’s not his fault

Hunk

  • You two were sparring, and he knocked you on the ground and you hit your head
  • It’s just a minor concussion, but he still feels really bad
  • He stays and takes care of you, and he’s just always apologizing
  • “I’m sorry, baby”
  • “Hunk, that was weeks ago.”

Pidge

  • She was showing you how she uses her bayard, and she lost control
  • It left a tiny little burn on your back
  • She was so worried about you, she felt really guilty that she’d hurt you, and she just fretted over you for days
  • She was just at your side the whole time, getting anything you need
  • She actually ran tests on you
  • “Pidge, I’m fine”
  • “Just making sure.”
  • “Get these wires off of me, or I swear to God!”

anonymous asked:

Ummm hello I would love to hear a charlotte's web story

ahem ahem *taps microphone* yes yes greetings fellow meme minions, farmers, and harvesters, and welcome to this brand new segment of @hamiltonmemes’s theatre story time tuesday™.  

In this thrilling episode, I’m gonna yak about my latest show, Charlotte’s Web, where I played Templeton the rat as well as a Barker at the fair. Get ready, this is gonna be a spicy one


• I MADE SO MANY HAMILTON REFERENCES IN THIS SHOW PLS HOLD I HAVE AN ORGANIZED LIST

     1. During the carnival scene, when I played the barker, I had to announce  contests and give out prizes. When I started the contests, I’d say “Ladies and gentlemen, you could have been anywhere in the world today but you’re here with us at the county fair, are you ready for some prizes, huh?”

     2. When we were in the barn and Charlotte’s spoder babbys made their entrance, all the barn animals had to react in shock and I’d pull a Tjeffs and say “Whaaaaaaat” in my Daveed voice

     3. During the Sunday matinee immediately after templeton’s rotten egg got broken, I ran onstage and screamed “WHERE IS MY EGG” and and when I saw it was “broken” I said “WHO DID THIS CHARLOTTE DID YOU KNOW” and when I went backstage afterwards all my castmates rioted 

• our director for this was the same one who directed beauty and the beast; she’s really not the best director tbh (not to talk trash or anything but she weighs approximately the same as a small rhinoceros and is at least 70 years old and can’t walk like at all, she v thicc)

• this show was a T-shirt show, which meant we wore out show t-shirts as our main costume piece and accessorized according to our characters; we all thought it was gonna suck but it actually wasn’t terrible

• I actually made the hat I wore for templeton since I hated the one the directors gave me; I took a grey beanie and attached felt rat ears and it was 1000x better; not only that I wore crusty ass cargo shorts that belonged to my dad in this show- the things i do to get in character smh

• when I was the barker, I had to taste these two different cakes, one super pretty and one ugly. Then, I gave the award to lady with the ugly one and everyone was like “wtf man the lady with the pretty pink cake should have gotten the prize” and then I point to the lady with the ugly cake and say “that’s my mom” and EVERY FRICKIN ONE IN THAT WHOLE AUDIENCE LOST IT ALL THREE NIGHTS IT WAS PROBABLY THE FUNNIEST LINE IN THE WHOLE SHOW

• On the Saturday show I had to go hang up Wilbur’s medal where the spiderweb used to be and I ENDED UP DROPPING THE MEDAL AND I WAS LIKE “OH NO” “WILBUR COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND GRAB THAT FOR ME” and I had to try and stay 100% in character but apparently everyone thought it was funny and it got a lot of laughs

• okay so there were a bunch of smol children in this show and they all loved me okay there were like 7 older kids my age in this show and I was the favorite of all the smols; this might sound cool but it’s not bc it’s a lot of pressure to be a good example and they all want to play games on ya phone  

• I was senpai to so many lil kids like to the extent where like two pretended to be familiar with Hamilton and memes but really weren’t

• okay smack talkin is done lets do some happy talk instead two of the actually good sweet smols with manners thoughtfully got me a stuffed rat on opening night; bless them ️♥

give me the zuccerman 

• i did periscope broadcasts all through tech week on Twitter #CWTechWeek

• this was actually my last year for the theatre’s summer Junior Musical; like you gotta be between ages 8-16 to participate in the program; so like after closing night a bunch of little kids were like super sad and I think like two were crying and everyone was like “noooo don’t leave you can’t leave you’re too awesome you always do so good” and I’m like “holy frick I wonder if this is how they felt on july 9th”

• one time during tech they were having trouble with the lights and they were down for like 4 or 5 minutes and then the guy who played Farmer Zuckerman started his lines too soon and he ended up having to ad-lib “Well Lurvy, I guess the sun isn’t gonna rise today” and it was hilarious

• I got to keep my styrofoam rotten egg prop and I had my castmates sign it 

• bonus: one of my lines as templeton said “well I hope you’re satisfied” that’s literally what it says right out of the script 

I feel like these are getting longer and longer but yeah up next we can either do The Hobbit or A Christmas Carol; you decide my fellow meme farmers and minions; if you read this whole this ily and here’s a good noodle star ★

Things I need white SJ Bloggers to stop

Stop saying “poc” when the answer is black people. Some of our issues are unique and most certainly are not shared by other races.

Stop getting more invested in said issues than the people they actually affect. Im constantly reminded of kony2012 when every whiteboy with a black friend reveled in their chance to “save africa :B” for their good noodle gold star.

Stop using the term “oppressed/oppressive” in EVERY. DAMN. THING. Im sorry, but some of y’all need to learn the difference between George Zimmerman, Mitt Romney, and Miley Cyrus. One of these things is not like the other. One of these things makes me roll my eyes while the other two make me fear for my future as a black bi guy. LEARN THE DIFFERENCE. FUCK.

Stop talking over other people. I dont care if you’re a fat genderqueer amputee with type 2 diabetes that lives in an outhouse behind Bojangles: just because I “outrank” you on the privlege chart in your sidebar (eyeroll) doesnt mean you can ‘overrule’ (again wtf is wrong with this site¿¿¡¿??) me when the conversation centers around a group I belong to.

You wanna be an ally? Fight WITH me, not FOR me. I dont need you to fight my battles. :|

Stop assuming everybody else feels the way you do about thing. If Im not mad about something it doesnt mean I hate myself, have internalized wtfever, am an “oppressor” (where do you people get this shit from i really want to know now), or “brainwashed”- no.

It means that people of color STILL arent all one type of way and just because you think they/we should unite under your banner as you valiantly free us from the thralls of oppression- doesnt mean its gonna happen. Realize this. Accept this. And move. The fuck. On.

This has been a rant. Now go back to meeting your privilege-post quota for the eve.