good life decisions and how to make them

prongswhatthefuck2  asked:

What are some good tips for getting started with writing a book? I have a concept but i can't put it into place.

Getting Started with Your Story

There’s no one way to start writing a book. For some people, it’s enough to just jump in and start writing to see where the story takes them. If you’re not too keen on that idea, then here is one process (as in, not the only process) that might help you move beyond your concept. 

  • Concept ≠ Plot

Many writers mistake concept for plot, but they’re actually two very different things. A world where everyone grows up with superpowers is a concept; the plot is what you decide to write about within that concept - the specific characters and what happens to those characters; who your antagonist is and what conflict arises when that antagonist goes after what they want. All of these things contribute to your plot. 

So first, define what it is you actually have at this particular point. Do you just have a concept? If so, you’ll need to take the necessary steps to develop that concept into a plot. 

  • Concept >>> Plot

If you’ve decided that all you really have is a concept, then how do you take it and turn it into a plot? You brainstorm. All brainstorming really amounts to is expanding your ideas. All you’re doing is asking questions about the concept and delving deep into the answers. 

The most simplistic way to start this process, especially if you’re struggling, is to ask one of two questions (or both, if applicable). These two questions: What could go wrong? What could go right?

Going back to my example about a world where everyone grows up with superpowers. If I were to ask the question “what could go wrong,” I’d end up with a whole list of possibilities. 

  • The powers suddenly disappear
  • People start abusing their powers
  • Someone figures out how to steal powers
  • A hierarchy of strong vs. weak powers develops, creating superiority/inferiority dynamics
  • Someone is born without a superpower

There are many more possibilities I didn’t even think of here, but any one (or more) of these could become a plot. Choose one that sounds interesting, and then ask yourself “and then what?” 

Say I choose: Someone figures out how to steal powers. Then what does that person do? Do they recruit people to do the dirty work for them? Do they work alone? Do they hoard these powers and barter them for other goods? Do they attempt to enslave people? Do they attempt to take control of institutions? What do they do?

Your goal is to take your ideas and turn them into actions taken by characters. People doing things. And each piece you add will usually lead into another. If you went with the idea that this character is stealing powers and essentially selling them for other goods, you’d have to ask yourself follow-up questions. First, who are they selling to? Why would anyone buy a new superpower if they already have one? What uses would they have for additional ones? What is the key demographic that this person is trying to reach? Secondly, what are they selling them in exchange for? Money? Favors? Souls? What is this character getting in return?

Now that you’ve examined potential actions that the character takes, you’ve also exposed potential new characters. 

  • People they’re stealing from
  • People they’re bargaining with
  • People that try to police these crimes
  • People that try to copy this character’s process

At the beginning of this section, I talked about using “what could go right” as another optional jumping off point. This is a good path to follow if your concept is already really negative. For a concept where someone is killing people for some pointed reason, you might ask “what could go right” and explore ideas where the killer is caught and brought to justice. 

The point of all this is to think about change as a means of taking your idea from concept to plot. A concept is static - it doesn’t move, evolve, or change. By developing a plot, you’re forcing the concept to be challenged in some way. If you think about it that way, you’ll be able to formulate conflicts, and the people that orchestrate and fight against those conflicts. 

On that note, I think we’re ready to move onto the third piece of my graphic above. 

  • Plot = Character Actions and Consequences

At this point, you have sketches for characters. You’ve got this nameless, faceless person that is stealing the powers, and all these other nameless, faceless people that I listed above. In essence, we have character concepts. And just like we turned our initial concept into a plot, we have to turn these character concepts into actual characters. 

The basics are the easiest way to start. You figure out their name, their gender identity, their age, their appearance, some brief backstory and personality traits. I personally prefer the simplest questionnaire that I put together back in the early days because it hits on the poignant pieces of a character without overwhelming you with 100s of questions. 

Now that you’ve given your character concepts names and faces and potential behaviors, you start to consider how one character’s view of the world inspires them to take certain actions, and you then think about how those actions affect your entire story. 

We already kind of talked about the motives of the power thief in our example, but definitely delve deep here. On the surface, this character seems bad - stealing from people and then selling what they steal. But depending on what it is they’re getting in return, could we not argue that this character is a supernatural Robin Hood? Maybe instead of selling, they’re giving, and maybe the characters they’re stealing powers from are people that abuse and misuse their powers. Character motives can take a plot and turn it on its head, forcing you to reconceptualize everything. And that’s okay! That’s part of the process.

But separate from that idea, if we have a character concept of someone whose powers were stolen, and after developing their basic backstory, we discover that person’s name is Rose, and she has an especially close relationship with her brother. So when her powers are stolen, how does this affect her life? Was she using her powers to keep her brother alive and protected? What she using them to keep a roof over their heads? Was she using them as part of her job, as a means of providing? What happens to her life when her powers are stolen? And what will Rose do about it? Whatever Rose does will impact the story. If she does nothing to get her powers back, how does she solve her problems and does that make for a good story? If she does decide to act, then you’ve moved onto a new plot point to dive deeper into.

My point is, character concepts come from plots, but characters themselves often create plot, as their decisions and mistakes and successes create new outcomes. So if I could modify my original flow chart:

Before you develop something, you conceptualize it. You have a concept, then you make it a plot. You have concepts for characters, then you make them characters. And those characters end up driving your plot, to the point that this happens:

Plot inspires character. Character inspires plot. And it just keeps going around and around and around. Breaking it down into these pieces helps organize the process, but developing a story is rarely this neat and tidy. You’ll get ideas that don’t make sense, ideas that aren’t cohesive, characters you don’t need, characters that piss you off, problems you can’t solve, or plot points you’ve committed to that you no longer like…it will be messy. But it’s your mess, and the more you work on developing your own process, the more it’ll make sense to you. And it’ll become easier to know how to go about fixing it when something’s not right. 

Have fun with this process! It’s supposed to be fun. When the pieces start to become clearer, you’re able to put them together in a rough outline. And once you have a rough outline, you can start writing, and really see it take shape. 


The Signs at their Best / The Signs at their Worst
  • Aries at their best: Full of life, adventurous and with a bright light in their eyes - a light bright enough to make all darkness disappear. Challenging, caring and with a big smile on their face. Admiring all beauty they can see, their head filled with plans. Nothing could ever bring them down, nothing could come between them and whatever it is that they want.
  • Aries at their worst: Doubting themselves in a very destructive way. They think it's all their fault and that they can't make anyone truly happy. Reckless. Cannot be reached by anyone, no one knows what's going on inside their head. Harsh. Don't care if they hurt someone's feelings or not. Don't care at all.
  • Taurus at their best: Absolute sweethearts with a great wits. Their heart is only open wide for people they choose carefully because they know it's for their own good. They know what's good for them and they're confident because they know what they're capeable of. A true and fair winner. Caring, charming, funny, intelligent, affectionate.
  • Taurus at their worst: They seem cold and careless. They know how to use words when they want to cause pain with them and they do that. Doubting themselves, suddenly lost all their confidence. Can't really control their feelings and tend to explode. Not looking after themselves and their loved ones because they're busy being stuck in a bad mood but deep down they're very very sorry for it.
  • Gemini at their best: A head full of ideas, a chest full of life. Up to something great, smiling, laughing, telling jokes, telling the greatest stories. Caring, motivating and inspiring. Freedom-loving, passionate about life, creative. Helpful, knows how to cheer you up. They don't run out of energy, they keep going.
  • Gemini at their worst: There is no sparkle in their eyes. Their hands are cold and their look is empty. Everything bores them, bothers them or sucks the life out of their bones. They don't see or hear anything, they're lost in thoughts. Get mean easily, say things they don't mean. Hurt others on purpose but end up hurting themselves. Self-pitying, over-emotional or not showing any emotion.
  • Cancer at their best: Brave people of good heart. Kind and caring, spreading love and good vibes. They fight for what they want, they always have something to say. Generous, understanding, shining as bright as the sun. A smile that makes others smile. They are very strong and handle their emotions wisely. Not to be underestimated.
  • Cancer at their worst: Say or do things they regret immediately. Forget to take care of themselves. They don't talk to anyone, don't reply. They tend to put themselves under an enormous emotional pressure. May manipulate others or completely lock themselves away.
  • Leo at their best: The literal sun. They shine so bright even when they're not smiling. Their laugh echoes, everybody hears it. Very proud, ambitious, kind, fair and loving. Bring happiness wherever they go, bring light into the dark. Full of dreams and very intelligent. The one that makes a boring evening a perfect one. Protective and they have a great sense of humour.
  • Leo at their worst: Believing themselves to be not good enough, doubting themselves and suffering from it. Harsh and kind of cold. Their look is still powerful and you dare not to speak to them. They drift away, may get mean or change their mind really quick because they just don't know what they want and it frustrates them so much.
  • Virgo at their best: Really good at doing what they love to do. Happy to spend time with people they like, generous and gentle, wise, gives great advices. Takes hints, makes great surprises and knows how to comfort people. Full of life and they have a great wits. The one that keeps you grounded. Honest and fair.
  • Virgo at their worst: Causing pain or worries to others to release themselves from it. They may be manipulative and self-pitying, exaggerating and not really speaking up. They tend to make decisions they will regret later. They forget how clever they are or they doubt their skills and their intelligence and make themselves smaller than they are.
  • Libra at their best: A great supporter. Someone with an eye for beauty, a charming smile and an amazing aura. They are funny, full of ideas and spontaneous. Remember little things and can easily make others happy what they love to do. Very creative, honest and they have a wild soul.
  • Libra at their worst: Moody, not seeing themselves as the masterpiece they are. Letting everybody know how they feel. Cold and feeling incredibly bad about it. They just hide away from the world and won't let anything come close to them. In pain just because they see all the flaws in their lives although there may not even be some.
  • Scorpio at their best: Passionate, strong, strong-willed, skilled and loving. They are full of secrets which is why they can keep secrets like no one else. An entire universe for themselves. They don't care about limits but in a good way. They share their ideas and dreams and cheer others up.
  • Scorpio at their worst: Neglecting their friends, their family, their duties and themselves. Reckless and not saying much about it. Things that usually fascinate them do not fascinate them anymore and they feel like nothing could ever make them smile again. Everything they love starts seeming so irrelevant to them.
  • Sagittarius at their best: Funny, uplifting, full of life and good energy. They don't care what anyone thinks of them, they will dance to loud music whenever they feel like it. They are open minded and interested in things, prepared to stand up for what they believe in at any time.
  • Sagittarius at their worst: Feeling depressed and not able to explain it, express it or talk about it. Over emotional and hot tempered, about to explode although they don't always know why. About to yell at someone for little things although they don't want to. Tired of everything.
  • Capricorn at their best: A guardian angel. Always there when you need them, glad to help. Caring for themselves and really moving things. Know how to use words and what to say in any situation. Working on something great, motivating others, taking care of people.
  • Capricorn at their worst: Sarcastic and they just shut everything down. Maybe bitter over something, maybe making others upset, too. Seem to have given up. Not sure what to do or what to say. Doubting themselves deep down but not willing to admit it. Not showing any emotions.
  • Aquarius at their best: An actual source of energy. Always have the greatest plans and ideas, dislike boredom. They love communicating and meeting new people, seeing new places. Curious about life, wanting to explore the world. Lift others up with their presence only.
  • Aquarius at their worst: Complaining over everything and annoying others with it. They don't care about anything anymore, reckless. Do not care anymore and do their own thing even though it might not be good for them. Ignoring others and feeling empty deep down. Like they ran out of energy.
  • Pisces at their best: Supporting others, taking care of others but also of themselves. Very clever, know what to say, funny. Their fantasy knows no limits and they're very productive. Do art or listen to music. Make others smile and fascinate them. Playing their own little games. Inspired.
  • Pisces at their worst: Feeling incredibly sad because of how the world is. Manipulative and stubborn. Actually dangerous because you just can't tell what they're up to. Revengeful. They have no energy and feel powerless, underestimated and not treated how they think they should be treated.
45 Man Laws (to get you through the trials of life) 101 :

GETTIN IN SHAPE!!! 45 Man Laws (to get you through the trials of life) 101 :

1. Go for someone you perceive to be “out of your league.” You’ll surprise yourself.

2. Never have sex with anyone that doesn’t want it as much as you.

3. Never hit anyone unless they are an immediate threat.

4. Every hat should serve a purpose.

5. Never take her to the movies on the first date.

6. Learn to wet shave.

7. Nothing looks more badass than a well-tailored suit.

8. Shave with the grain on the first go-around.

9. Always look a person in the eye when you talk to them.

10. Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.

11. Exercise makes you happy. Run, lift, and play sports.

12. Brush your teeth before you put on your tie.

13. A small amount of your paycheck should go directly to your savings account every month.

14. Call your parents every week.

15. Never wear a clip-on tie.

16. Give a firm handshake.

17. Compliment a love interest on their clothing choice.

18. Never leave a pint unfinished.

19. If you aren’t confident, fake it. It will come.

20. You can tell the size of a man by the size of things that bother him.

21. Be conscious of your body language.

22. The only reason to ever point a gun at someone is if you intend to shoot them.

23. Always stand to shake someone’s hand.

24. Never lend anything you can’t afford to lose.

25. Ask more than you answer. Everybody likes to talk about themselves.

26. Keep a change of clothes at the office.

27. Buy high quality tools, so you only have to buy them once.

28. Manliness is not only being able to take care of yourself, but others as well.

29. Go with the decision that will make for a good story.

30. When you walk, look straight ahead, not at your feet.

31. Nice guys don’t finish last. Boring guys do.

32. Find your passion and figure out how to get paid for it.

33. Don’t let the little head do the thinking for the big head.

34. No matter their job or status in life, everyone deserves your respect.

35. The most important thing you can learn is personal responsibility. Bad things happen, it’s your job to overcome them.

36. The first one to get angry loses.

37. Do what needs to be done without complaining. It won’t help speed things up.

38. Never stop learning.

39. Always go out into public dressed like you’re about to meet the love of your life.

40. Don’t change yourself just to make someone happy, unless that someone is you.

41. If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.

42. Luck favors the prepared.

43. Everyone finds confidence sexy as hell.

44. Do whatever you want to do in the life, but be the best at it.

45. No one is on their deathbed wishing they spent more time at work. Enjoy your life.

anonymous asked:

after everything that took my interest in the liveshow i thought i can't wait to read your thoughts on it. have any? x

i’m not in the greatest headspace and probably can’t rewatch this ls so i think i will do things a bit differently today and just share some of the best messages i received from people on the liveshow. i always feel bad bc i spend a lot of time writing my own thoughts and then tend not to a good job sharing other people’s thoughts that they take the time to send to me so hopefully their words can speak to what i don’t have the ability to think/write about today. 

While I found dans ls pretty unextraordinary, his whole sexuality talk was really great. There is a large group of his fans who are not straight, and many of those, myself included, may be struggling with figuring ourselves out. Hearing him talk about things like that and how important it is for individuals to make their own decisions on how they want to label themselves is something I really needed to hear.

i really liked this liveshow!! honestly dan talking about labels and how they can be a good thing but can also be unnecessary made me super happy. i feel like he was just really saying the first things that came to mind with that whole “daniel lester” “good suggestion” and the openness when it came to talking about sexuality. and the way he talked about it, like he’d given the matter a lot of thought beforehand, was just very interesting. idk, just my take

well that’s that, dan officially referred to himself as formless blob after using that exact same term to describe people who choose to exist without a label.

dan mentioned the validity of asexuality again today and I’m crying again??? he is so good

the whole sexuality bit was really great and uplifting and validated a lot of what i’d written about the topic this week, in terms of people’s unrelenting pressure for dnp to place an explicit label on their sexual preferences and then share that with us. the compulsion to treat your sexuality as an intrinsic and widely shared part of your identity is great for some people but not as good for others and i love that dan gave voice to the people who might be questioning and uncomfortable with placing one static label on their experiences. this was also the furthest i think he’s ever gone in basically embracing the label of queer (when someone said it was a good umbrella term and he immediately said “it is” and talked about how it encompasses everything that’s not normative. he then defined what those normative groups would be and pointedly didn’t include himself in that group.) as anon above said, he also either consciously or subconsciously referred to himself in the exact same way as he suggested to another person to describe themselves if they didn’t want to label their sexuality (i.e. formless blob). and then of course,,, the sucking balls comment. the way he was weirdly enthused about the “your hair is like my sexuality” comment. good stuff. 

I love the way you criticize Dan and Phil (in a respectful way) and point the things you don’t like about them. I wanted to know what do you think about Dan saying that he likes that he has a diverse audience, with different tastes, ages and humor. To you this doesn’t have anything to do with all the tween girls thing? Also I have seen a lot of comments that want them to play lis to see what choices they make (and well, the game is about choices, so that’s not actually weird)

yep i thought dan did a good job walking back some of the instinctive criticisms he’d made towards his audience earlier in the ls. as i said, he does a pretty good job trying not to explicitly play into “fangirl” stereotypes but that doesn’t change the fact that his instinct is to mock/tease them and take them less seriously. so i don’t know. i feel on the fence about it. 

regarding the ‘play life is strange!!!!’ crowd: i agree that a lot of people have been spamming them to do that, and talking about how it’d be interesting to see the decisions they make. i also understand why the idea of that makes dan extremely uncomfortable. what i didn’t agree with was the way he assumed a high-pitched annoying voice to make fun of the people who were asking him to do it, and then the way he was sort of making fun of how people would be so into watching him and phil make moral decisions. his voice was dripping with sarcasm and mockery and it felt really rude to me. he talks about how people will psychoanalyze him and how it’s all dumb because you can’t tell anything about him from what he does on a youtube video … which obvi hits me personally a little bit hard bc all i do is sit here and think about his personality based on what he does on youtube and what he says in live shows lol so once again im just like ??? lol why do i do this? i mean he’s wrong, blatantly. you can tell a LOT about him from what he does on youtube and what he says in live shows and whatever, but as before i’m sort of put in the position of wondering if all of this rambling is actually invasive and disrespectful ,, who knows

it’s worth adding that dan was not only rude repeatedly to the audience but also to phil at one point? when someone in the chat asked what to do when anime is better than reality he said something like “just settle for someone who is definitely more disappointing than your fav anime character,” like referring to himself which is .. interesting .. i mean it’s def the same type of joking way he talks about phil but he delivered in a much more deadpan and dry way than his usual joking tone so it was just .. weird.

(edit, adding this bc it’s great): i love how proud he seems to be of the dapg channel!!!! he just keeps promoting it and saying it’s really funny and telling people to go watch it. it makes me really warm to know that even if he has been having some issues with dinof, he still is making something he’s happy with (as someone who works w creative things, i understand how frustrating it is to make things you don’t think are good enough, even when other people tell u it’s fine)

yes. he so happily sponned dapg and that made me happy to hear. it’s clear that it’s playing the same role it did back in december for him when he explicitly told us that making gaming vids w phil was what he needed at that moment for his peace of mind and his happiness (as opposed to ‘being existential and sarcastic’ or something along those lines on dinof) 


chat: daniel lester

dan: good suggestion!!!!!!

me, instantly craving death .. 

other notes: the allusion to hating the apartment for its noisiness at the end. they gon move. the constant allusions to how stressful and tiring the last two weeks have been. they’re definitely working on some stuff. it will be interesting to see what it is and when it comes to light. the whole talk about watching ‘get out’ and dealing w the annoying person who wouldn’t stop being loud was really funny, esp bc it involved YET ANOTHER reiteration that phil gets anxious in social settings. why are they both really pushing that so hard these days?? it’s def interesting to me. i also liked that when someone suggested he play dungeons and dragons he immediately related it to phil. and to sum all of that up, the twitter reply to the person that edited ‘me and phil’ onto his forehead was gold. ‘tldw’ or ‘too long, didn’t watch’ (a play off of ‘tl;dr’ which means ‘too long didn’t read,’ which is used as a way to summarize really long posts/articles, for those who were confused) so he’s basically saying that if anyone doesn’t want to watch the ls bc it’s too long, that picture is all the summary you need. i mean,,, he’s not wrong. at least he’s self aware. 

(live show: dan or the grim reaper? scientists can’t tell - 3.21.17)

I could cut my wrists open and bleed out. I could drink until my liver gives out I can smoke until my lungs turn black I could eat a bottle of pills and never wake up again I could just kill myself. But I haven’t even though I have very good reasons to I haven’t .
Maybe I’m just procrastinating on doing it, I procrastinate on a lot of things so why wouldn’t I procrastinate on ending my life?
It’s a very big decision you know, deciding whether or not to continue on living. How do you make that decision? Some do it on impulse some ponder it for awhile. I think about it every day, no matter what day I’m having good or bad, I think about suicide.. But I have to wonder if the good days I’m thinking about suicide are those really good days at all? Or are they just a little bit more bearable? I’m not sure and you can’t tell me. And I bet that worries some people. Them knowing that death is a constant on my mind.. They’re worried to finally wake up to hear the news that I grew the fucking balls to kill myself. Their first thoughts will be “That son of a bitch finally did it.” Then they’ll grieve for a little bit and go on with their lives and live happily ever after. I wouldn’t be upset if they were saddened about my passing for just a week or two I actually rather have that. Why would I want the people I love to be sad? Anyways I know the death of me will not be a heart attack when I’m 70, or a stroke, or even a car crash , no I’m certain that the reason for my departure from the world will be me. I will eventually, either on impulse or spending a great time thinking about it, the reasons I will die is because I killed myself.
—  // 3:06 a m \

Okay, can I just talk about Jack for a moment? Because honestly, she means so so much to me. I know there are flaws in her writing, but there’s so much about it that’s important to me.

Jack is obviously an abuse survivor. She’s been through things very few people could understand. And it’s been a full, life long thing. This is The Way The Universe Works, as far as she knows. These people have had her wince she was an infant. She doesn’t know anything different.

She’s been through so much. And she’s angry. She’s unbelievably angry. And she’s allowed to be. She’s allowed to be loud and angry and dysfunctional. And you’re actually able to acknowledge that, and be kind to her through it. You’re allowed to give her space, to let her know you’ll respect her boundaries, to be understanding and help her deal in whatever way she asks for.

And yeah, some of the characters make negative comments about her being angry, but it’s ultimately respected. And she gets a recovery arc. She gets to learn to trust a little bit, gets to make decisions to do good things with her life.

She gets to work with kids. She gets to work with kids that are like her. She gets to protect them from people who would use them or push them too hard. She gets to teach them the best ways to protect themselves, how to work as a team and care for each other. She gets to do good, do things she really cares about.

And in all that, she still gets to be herself. She still gets to be angry and aggressive, and standoffish. It’s not some “oh! She’s all better now!” recovery arc. She gets to still be angry and very much Not Normal, and it’s okay. She learns how to cope, learns how to channel her rage towards things, learns how to let people in. She learns how to cope and function in this world, while not just suddenly being no longer mentally ill, or suddenly showing no symptoms.

She gets to be a “bad” survivor, and it’s not demonized by the narrative. Honestly, she changed me. She helped me. She’s so so important and good, and she means so much to me.

I could ramble for hours, but I just love Jack so much.

sometimes you meet people who are kind because life has been kind to them, who are good to those around them because it’s reflecting their life and their circumstances, and to do otherwise would be ungrateful

other times you meet people who choose to be kind, who know what it’s like to be treated poorly, to be kicked, to be abused, to be rejected, and who make a conscious decision to be kind to those around them nonetheless

not because it’s easy, not because it’s how they wish things had been in their life, but because it’s right

while functionally the two may be the same i prefer people in the latter group every time

I have a question (kind of?)

For my school we have a senior project called “Dragon Talks” (basically Ted Talks) and we have to pick a topic and an “idea worth sharing,” which is basically a thought or idea that we would like to leave with the underclassmen. 

I have been extremely desensitized over time to how sensitive and young freshman and sophomores actually are and I was hoping my younger followers could let me know if any of the following is too intense or too large of an idea to comprehend?

-Existentialism is my broad topic but I will be taking about:

-the idea that our existence has no meaning which simultaneously allows us to live a life with as much meaning as we choose, and to live life how we choose. Though free will doesn’t really exist because death makes everything loose all worth and meaning so decisions only have as much meaning as we choose to give them

-Albert Camus’ view of existentialism and absurdism and the notion that killing yourself and drinking a cup of coffee are equal decisions, one does not hold more power than the other and there is nothing that can influence or predetermine those decisions. All it takes is the ability to act.

-Authenticity and the idea that we are all individual people and if you were to strip the world of objective reasoning and social constructs then there wouldn’t be a right and wrong nor a specific way to act, so really to try and imitate another person or act dishonestly is pointless and a waste of time.

- How religious explanations have been disproved by science, but science, in turn, can only describe existence, it cannot explain why there is existence or what its meaning or purpose is

-The difference between existentialism and nihilism. Which is basically summed up between “nothing matters, so why?” and “nothing matters, so why not?”

The reason I chose this was because I really wanted to kind of sum it up by letting the underclassmen know it’s okay to do what you want and/or need to do for yourself. I always wished that I had realized sooner that the world was going to keep turning with or without me. I wish I had someone there to tell me that hell wasn’t going to freeze over if I forgot an assignment or made a mistake. I wish someone told me that good people can do bad things and bad people can do good things. That whether or not we choose to accept someone doesn’t define them and whether or not others accept us doesn’t define us. I wish I had someone to tell me what a waste of time fitting in is when in reality ALL of us are different and should act accordingly, because why act like someone when you can be yourself? There’s never going to be another you, and once you’re gone that’s it. Make your own decisions and act how you want to act because, in a life where nothing has meaning and everything is futile, all we really have pleasure in is choosing how we want to exist.

We choose what good and bad we do, we choose how our lives unfold; let’s not waste that while we have it.

And I just really need to know if all/any of that seems applicable or appropriate to 14-16-year-olds?


✨🌹goals for 2017🌹✨

1. Drink more water because I want to respect and treat the beautiful vessel that is my body better.
2. Keep my room clean because a tidy room helps me focus better and strips some of my anxiety away.
3. Write things down so I don’t forget them because I am the worst at remembering assignments and chores I need to get done.
4. Go to sleep at a decent hour because getting 8 hours of sleep will rejuvenate my vessel and I’ll spend less money on under eye concealer.
5. Manage my time wisely so I can go to sleep stress free and feel like I’ve completed the tasks I set out for that day.
6. Do my schoolwork when it’s assigned because doing it right before it’s due gives me knots in my back.
7. Eat healthier because I want to feed my body nutritious things so I can flourish into the beautiful, healthy rose I am meant to be.
8. Work out more to help relieve stress and look and feel healthy and at my best.
9. Take time to drink my morning coffee because whenever I miss it I suffer the rest of the day and when I drink it every little sip is heavenly.
10. Eat three times a day because I don’t want to deprive my beautiful vessel of what she needs in order to be its happiest and healthiest.
11. Moisturize every day because I love looking like a glowing goddess.
12. Don’t let myself feel uncomfortable just so others can feel comfortable because I fall in too deep and hit a breaking point where I go insane and shut everything out and I DESERVE BETTER.
13. Don’t allow boys to disrespect me or my body because I deserve respect and affection.
14. Focus on myself because at the end of the day I have to live with myself and my decisions and I’m my own responsibility and nobody is mine.
15. Dress like I care about how I look because when I look good I feel good, when I feel good I do good.
16. Go hiking more because I’m surrounded by mountains so why not explore them?
17. Volunteer more because the world needs more positivity so spread that shit like room temperature butter on toast baby!
18. Say “yes” more because I wanna tell my kids and grandkids about my amazing life.
19. Create art more because I always want to but I allow other things that don’t make me as happy get in the way of that. I also wanna have more art to hang up and add to my portfolio.
20. Speak up for the things I care about because I have a beautiful voice that cannot and should not be silenced!
21. Give people 2nd chances sometimes because I fuck up sometimes and would want a second chance.
22. Go to more concerts because they make me happiest.

Romance is Manly

It’s always amazed me at how much little gestures can mean and do in the life of the receiver. How just a note taped to a mirror, a small stuffed animal or trinket left on a steering wheel, going out and cleaning off her car and starting it on a cold winters morning, a text waiting in the morning (as a few examples) can do for a persons mood, or day.

Now I know I’m not the only man out there who does these things for the woman he loves, but I’m dealing that those of us who do these things is a very small minority and that saddens me.

It saddens me when friends of my significant other tell me I should write a book telling other men to be romantic and attentive.

It saddens me that so many times when a man does these things, to his spouse or girlfriend, that the spouse or girlfriend are asked, “What’s he expecting from you for this?”

It saddens me that my Baby Girl, after months of being with me is still in awe of the way I treat her. To Seeger reaction to what I consider normal behavior just floors me. Then let her daughter ask her mother, “Why is he doing that?” Why is he doing that?“ To think this is knew to them. That is something they never believe life could be like. That they spent almost two decades being treated more as a servant than a princess.

It saddens me that if I penned this book those who need it the most would not read it and if the did they wouldn’t learn a thing.

I personally spent over three decades doing the little things to my spouse with zero reciprocation. None! Sure they were appreciated, but nothing was returned. Did I do these things to receive something? No. Why else would I have stayed three decades if I was expecting a return that never came. I did it because that’s what I do.

Now I have a partner who truly appreciates my gestures. She lived a life void of them for way too long. I get to reap the benefits of romance, random acts of kindness. Basically for showing that I care and I love her to death. ❤️

So men,
If you’re one of the few like me - congratulations! There’s not a woman out there who wouldn’t fall head over heels for a man like you.

If you’re NOT one of the few - that’s to bad. You really need to step up your game. I say this because to many of you have no idea how much your women long for this. It’s so important to them that a man who does these things has a good chance of stealing her from you. It costs so little. It takes minimal time yet the return on your investment is huge.

I encourage every man out there, married or single, to start truly courting your women. Let them know you appreciate them. Let them know they are special to you. It will be the best decision you will make in your life.

Created by: thoughts-from-Mark

So if Kvothe is Hamilton. . .

Who are the other characters? (this is kind of mess, so hang in there) 

Here are some character parallels: 

Denna is Burr- I have no idea why I feel like this is obvious to me (I’ve felt this way since I wrote my first KKC/Hamilton thing) but I feel like Denna is going to cause/be Kvothe’s downfall in some way. And they are so connected (like Hamilton and Burr) but there’s also this tension between them

Wil is Lafayette- Outsider who is has found a new home with his friends, who is incredibly dedicated to them, the voice of reason who also knows how to have fun (also, I feel like he would be a good general, like good at seeing the bigger picture, brave and ready to fight, but not making rash decisions, and staying loyal to his cause and his soldiers) 

Sim is Laurens- A legit cinnamon roll who is often underestimated and will fight for what he believes in and lay down his life for his friends. Also, low key gay for Kvothe and Wil. (not trying to foreshadow his death, but it comes with the territory) 

Fela is Hercules Mulligan- Wait, hear me out. She goes undercover to distract Ambrose, she is often absent in day to day events, but she is always there at the end of the day, and ready to support her friends. 

Auri is Eliza- Not because I ship Auri and Kvothe romantically, but I feel like in the way married people make a new family, they have made a family with each other and incredible protective of each other. (on another level, Chronicler, Kote, and Bast could be Eliza as they are literally telling Kvothe’s story) (Kote literally telling it, Chronicler documenting it for future, and Bast in the past spreading word so someone would find Kote) Okay, or like even music could be Kvothe’s Eliza, because it also carries on his legacy and maybe his true love in the world. (So many Elizas) 

Devi is Angelica- Again, not romantic ship, but the undeniable chemistry between to geniuses who just love to find like minded people. Not to mention, Lin says Angelica is the smartest person in Hamilton’s world and I think the same thing about Devi so… 

Ambrose is Thomas Jefferson- The constant battles, always on opposing sides, feuds appearing childish to outsiders. Look, it’s just kind of obvious (I think) 

The Chancellor is Washington but Kvothe high key wants Elodin to be his Washington

Felurian is Maria Reynolds- They actually really have nothing in common except the main characters have sex with them when they should have just said no. 

Hemme is John Adams- This is simply so I can have John Adams rap directed towards Hemme

Brandeur is James Madison - He doesn’t really do much besides back up Hemme (and often Ambrose) (this one is a bit of a stretch) 

Mola as The Doctor- I mean, they both work in medicine… (I’m scrambling here) 

Auri could have been Phillip Hamilton but I like the idea of her living forever instead of dying young, so she shall stay Eliza (also, she is not a child, or younger than Kvothe, but rather an equal) 

King George III is the Chandrian- The overarching villain, but not always directly interacting with Kvothe and everyone knows that they are evil, but also, not always taking the threat seriously and an underestimated villain.  

(lol just imagine Kote, Chronicler, and Bast trying to be the entire chorus as they try to tell the story and fill in the gaps in the story that aren’t explicitly stated

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Father Canada headcanond pls?

-When finding out he’d be a dad, Matthew would be so happy. He’d always really wanted kids, so he’d be nothing but excited to be able to be a parent.

-He’d be the sweetest dad ever. He’d have a really hard time saying no to his kid, and as soon as there were old enough to make their own decisions, he’d always respect them, unless it put his child in danger.

-He’d accept whatever interests they develop, but if they’re okay with it, he’d really want to at least teach them how to ice skate, because it’s something he’s really passionate about. 

-Expect him to cry at any ceremony or accomplishment his kid is ever involved in. He’d just be so proud about everything they do he’d always get emotional.

-He’d also be really good at being able to talk with his kid if there’s any issues in their life that they’re struggling with. He’d never get mad or upset with them if they came to him with a problem, he’d just try his best to give them solid advice and offer support.

If I were to write a very short post that made Ben’s argument as well as I understand it, I’d write it as this:

GiveWell is really credible. Why are they credible? They’re good at charity evaluation. How do we know they’re good at charity evaluation? Well, we’re a bit stuck. They’re transparent about how they make their decisions, but most people who trust them don’t actually wade through the spreadsheets. Data on the actual effects of interventions is noisy or not yet available; we know how much GiveWell thinks it’ll cost to save a life by donating to AMF this year, but we don’t know how many lives have been saved by past donations to AMF. 

So GiveWell, and its experimental sibling OpenPhil earned a tremendous amount of trust over the past five years, but the trust mostly isn’t grounded in the demonstrated successes of things they’ve funded. It’s been long enough we can look at track record to check if they’re doing a good job, but we mostly don’t (or we look at track record of communications, track record of recommendations, anything at all but track record of lives saved per dollar and how close their estimates were to getting that right in advance). 

Now they are using their credibility to do lots of things - run EA Funds, where people can have OpenPhil staff make grants with your money. Buy a board seat on OpenAI’s board. There’s no one we’d rather have doing these things than OpenPhil, because they’re very credible. But the credibility still isn’t grounded in the thing we actually want it to be grounded in - their cost-effective estimates turning out correct if we check after the fact - and so their central role in this kind of work isn’t warranted. 

My assessment of OpenPhil is mostly grounded in reading their work, talking to them, talking to people in the fields they analyze, and I think the degree to which I consider them credible is in line with that. So I still disagree with my version of the critique as an argument why I personally shouldn’t trust OpenPhil, though it’s decent as an argument why some people who trust them because their charity recommendations are accurate should give it more thought.

Underage MC RFA

Anonymous said:

yeAH hellO SWEET HUMAN! Can we talK for a minute? Can I just say that I am young and sweet only seventeen(HA GET IT??!) years old girl right? and sometimes I cringe when flirting w the adults bc THEY OLD LOLOL but like I look up to them bc lifewisdom(jumins adVice THO!!) so I was wondering what RFA would treat a underage girl like me? I WANNA HELP EVERYONE WITH THEIR PROBLEMS AND BE THEIR CUTE LIL SIS who GIVE THEM ENDLESSLY AFFECTION AND LOVE YES I AM EXCITED OHYEAH



He would instantly be appalled at his own behaviour. He was incredibly forward a majority of the time, and was very suggestive towards them. If he knew that they were underage, he never would have said anything of the sort. Once he got all of the apologies out of his system Big Brother Zen™ is activated. All he does is make sure that they stay in school and tries to encourage them to not drop out (although he’s totally ready for them if they need a place to stay for a while), and is definitely going to be constantly warning them about how they need to make smart life decisions. He’s totally there to be a shoulder to cry on and is willing to do anything to make them feel as though they are in a safe environment. Good big brother 10 outta 10 would recommend.


Mom Mode Activated. She’s going to be willing to give them advice for anything and everything. She’d make sure that they keep up with their education and is honestly the best tutor on Earth. She always makes time for them for whenever they need help, regardless of her schedule. If they told her that she was their role model she’d be so flustered because she didn’t really think that she was good enough to be idolized but she’d make sure that she was an even better role model just for their sake.


He immediately wanted to improve his behavior in college. He noticed that his wasn’t that good and he wanted to set a good example for MC! His gaming habits weren’t a good one, so he cut down on his gaming and did more studying. He even offered to be a study buddy for MC when she would have upcoming tests. He would encourage MC to stay in school and strive for their dreams. Don’t be surprised for game nights together on LOLOL if you get good tests scores. Makes sure MC gets enough sleep as well.


He would definitely always be giving them advice, 24/7. It doesn’t matter if they asked or not because he’s just so full of that wisdom. He also will love to lowkey spoil them (bc come on be honest being a smol means being broke) but never in ways that are super extravagant it’s more like “you need new school supplies here have state of the art things”. ALSO since he’s a pretty smart guy, he like Jaehee would be willing to tutor them whenever they need it. The difference however is that he isn’t very good at it, but he tries, he honestly does. Like Zen, he acts like a big brother, even though the more emotional things he isn’t very good at, but he’s a pretty good listener.


He would be a bit shocked at first, because well, MC was underaged. He put them through freaking kidnappings and such when they were not even 18?! (That’s the age of adulthood where I live, I know it’s lower in some places but) He would be that cool brother? You guys would try and steal Elly from Jumin together, and maybe he would teach you some things about self defense. Saeyoung would try his best to be a good influence on MC, but let’s be honest here, they’d probably end up sharing memes with each other. But what he would do is create an app for MC, where she could place her notes into it, and it would make little tests for her for when she needs to study. But, he’s also good when it comes to advice with life and school subjects. Need help with languages? He’s your man. Need help with relationships? He can give advice! Style of clothes? This boy crossdresses, you can trust him.

Majoras Mask Headcanon Meme
  • Bremen Mask: tell us about a time when your character was forced to grow up too fast. were they born into an unfortunately cruel world or did life pass them unfair cards?
  • Garo's Mask: tell us about a time your muse witnessed true honor from an opponent. was the fight spectacular or did your muse lose quickly?
  • Captain's Hat: has your muse ever been respected by hundreds of people? how did that make them feel and did it have a lasting effect on them?
  • Gibdo Mask: what was the scariest, most vividly violent memory your muse has of their parents? did it leave a traumatic scar on their memory? how do/did they cope with it?
  • Stone Mask: has your muse ever felt invisible to those around them? were they depressed or did something happen to make them feel this way?
  • Blast Mask: tell us about a time your muse went out of their way to help someone in need. did they take a reward for what they did or brag about it afterwards? is this a common occurence?
  • Mask of Truth: when was the last time that your muse encountered a secret that was extremely painful to unearth? how did it effect them and/or change their life?
  • Odolwa's Remains: tell us about a time when your muse was blinded by anger. did it cause them to make an awful decision or push someone away or perhaps ignore the otherwise good advice of their peers?
  • Goht's Remains: what's a point in your muse's life where they had to bargain for something dear to them? freedom, life, perhaps an object? was it really so important to them? if so, why?
  • Gyorg's Remains: has your muse ever been so depressed that they felt like they couldn't go on? did they ever overcome this feeling or replace it with another? how did it effect them long-term?
  • Twinmold's Remains: tell us about a time your muse had to accept the death of someone close to them. did it hit them really hard or were they able to make it out okay?



Pairing: Kol x Reader

Summary: I love your writing! Can I have something with Klaus or Kol and a female reader? maybe the whole mate!au thing and he’s the first to find her, but she avoid him? Could she be quiet and sweet, but funny and sassy when you get to know her? Could she have baggage from her last relationship with an asshole so she’s really unsure on what to do or how to feel? Maybe something could bring them together and make them talk or something like that (can Freya and Finn be in this + Mystic Falls?)

Side Note: I’m not sure about this one, but I did my best.

Your plan was just to pass through Mystic Falls, but it seemed that life had a different path for you. Recently you went through a major break up that ended on not so good terms, for you however it was a relief to be away from a relationship that was dangerously close to becoming toxic. So you made the decision to walk away and save yourself from pain, misery and heartbreak.

Stepping foot into The Mystic Grill you needed something strong to heal whatever this feeling was. Taking a seat at the bar you swore you could feel eyes on you, shaking off what probably was unnecessary worry you ordered your favourite drink and the first sip really did taste like heaven. After several more sips the same feeling came back, but this time it sent shivers down your back, something you hadn’t felt in a long time.

“I thought drinking together at bars was our thing, kinda hurt that you’re here without me darling”.

That voice was recognizable anywhere, and that’s what made the urge to turn around harder. “Is this the welcome I get? Not even a hello? Or so glad that your insane lunatic brother un-daggered you?” he spoke once more.

Taking the last remaining sip of your drink you turned around and meet his brown eyes. Those eyes you hadn’t stared into for a while and you forgot what it was like to lose yourself in them.

“Your back, how long will you stay around this time. A few hours or am I going to be lucky and you’ll stick around for a few days” you asked him. This was the last person you wanted to see, especially after the way your ex treated you.

“Well we are soul mates darling, I’ll always come back to you”.

Soul mates? You highly doubted such a thing existed but the connection that you and Kol had once did speak volumes. “So is it just you or can I expect the entire Mikealson family to arrive soon?”.

He sat down on the stool beside you, “Finn and Freya are the only ones with me. Is that what you really want to talk about, my family?”.

“Who’s Freya?” you turned to him and raised your eyebrow.

Just then a female voice spoke, “I’m quite hurt brother that you didn’t tell her about me”. Turning around you saw a blonde who in some ways reminded you of Rebekah. And of course Finn Mikealson was standing right beside her.

“I was just getting to that dear sister, before you rudely interrupted our conversation. Y/N this is my long lost sister Freya and well you know Finn”.

Standing up you shook her hand and the energy she gave seemed pleasant enough, talking to her you found out she was a witch and what you got to learn about her back story, made you feel quit sorry for her.

“Well as much as I would love to stay and chat some more, I have to go. It was nice meeting you Freya and it was very nice seeing you again Finn”.

You paid for your drinks and slowly walked yourself out of the Grill.

“Don’t tell me Kol, you’re going to go after her?” Finn asked.

“You know me too well brother”. Within seconds Kol was out the door.

Walking down the footpath you were doing well with walking until you mis-stepped, bracing yourself for the impact it didn’t come. Opening up your eyes you saw Kol smiling back at yuo.

“Is this the part where I’m suppose to say my hero?” you asked, as you stood up right and leaned against the wall. Before continuing to walk again, Kol followed closely behind.

“I was expecting more of a pleasant greeting love? Didn’t you miss me?”.

You couldn’t tell him about your past relationship, if he knew he would march over to where your ex lived and do things you probably wouldn’t want to think about. Ever since the first time you meet Kol the attraction had always been there, but the only problem was that he came with a lot of family drama which caused him to either get daggered or worse killed. And frankly you just couldn’t handle any more goodbyes, because not knowing when you would be able to say hello again tore you apart.

“I apologize Kol for not welcoming you back with hugs and kisses, but I’ve had a crappy few months so forgive me for not being in a welcoming mood”.

Heading down a path you came to your aunt’s place where you were staying just until you found a place of your own. She had told you she would be out until late, so you didn’t have to worry about the 100 questions she would ask if she saw Kol again.

Kol reached you and the two of you sat down on the porch, “What happened?” he asked without hesitation.

“You don’t want to know” you replied, burying your head in your hands.

The ringtone of your phone snapped you from your thoughts and the name that flashed across it couldn’t have been more worse. Pressing the decline button you placed your phone beside you, feeling Kol’s eyes as you did so.

“Who was that love?” he asked.

“What’s with the 20 questions?”.

Kol super sped and grabbed your phone, standing up you shouted. “Hey, give that back Kol. You can’t just take my phone!”.

“When the love of my life sees my again after a long time, and doesn’t look pleased to see me something is up. And when she tries to hide things it usually means something is wrong, you’re welcome to chime and and object anytime darling”. he stated

Sighing you missed Kol no doubt, and falling in love with him again just to have that taken from you every time hurt more than he could ever imagine. So you found comfort in someone else, who turned out to be an ass.

“Okay do you really want to know Kol?! That is my ex-boyfriend who I broke up with a few weeks ago all because he turned out to be a self-absorbed jerk. Then all I wanted was to move far away from him as possible, and instead another past lover shows up. So what did you expect me to do? Repeat what happened the last time you got un-daggered, only to have you leave me again?”.

Kol’s face softened and at this point it was hard to keep your emotions in check. All he did was come up to you and wrapped his arms around you. The ability he had to make you feel secure and safe was one of the things you missed most.

“I’m scared Kol, because all I keep thinking is what if you leave again. What if you’re forced to leave and I don’t get to see you until your bloody brother decides when the right time is to pull out the stupid dagger?”

He lifted your chin, “I’m here Y/N and I’m not going anywhere. Not this time, and no-one is going to force me to do anything. Darling I’m Kol Mikealson, not even a dagger could keep me away from you”.

The unknown feeling was still lingering, it was still controlling whether or not you allowed yourself to be happy.

The two of you were described as soul mates, always managing to found your way back to each other. So perhaps this time things could turn out different. No matter how many times you tried to denial it Kol had left a mark, one that wasn’t going away. Standing here still wrapped in each others embrace, was exactly the kind of thing that had been missing.

He was the missing piece, and you weren’t home unless Kol was holding you. And this was the first time in years that you finally allowed yourself to admit that. For you home wasn’t a place, it was a person…it was two strong arms, dark brown eyes and a very charming personality that also happened to be a 1,000 year old vampire. But you wouldn’t have it any other way.

anonymous asked:

Can you please do a meta of who Regina is at her core?

In some ways this is an easy question to answer.  Kitsis tells us during the DVD commentary on 1.18 that this is the most evolved Regina there is, and that her entire character arc is to find her way back to this place.  The heroic, selfless, and hopeful young woman who would risk her life for a stranger.

She was also a woman born with incredible destiny and magical power.  So much raw power within her that when Rumple met her he shivered at the potential within her.  This is the Dark One, a man who is probably the most knowledgeable connoisseur of magical power ever, and those who want to dismiss her really must face reality of this moment.  Before training.  Before Rumple.  The magic was inherent to her.

But what was the nature of that magic.  We are shown her struggling with her lessons under Rumple.  The alternate reading from the “Regina is weak and was just a brilliant student” is that learning dark magic was fundamentally going against her nature.  We know from Glinda, a character set up as the leading expert on magic in Oz, that only someone with the most powerful light magic could defeat Zelena.  Magic much more powerful than Glinda herself possessed.

Regina’s difficulty learning magic from Rumple was not because she was less powerful than other magical characters.  It was because she was going against the very nature of her magic.  She was never meant to be a villain.  The Evil Queen was not her destiny.  Regina the Good was and her path was twisted.

It leads us back to a fundamental truth of the series.  

Once the darkness was created and nurtured Regina lost sight of who she was.  Ironically emphasized by her repeated insistence that she did know who she was.  Every time people saw beyond the mask, Marian and Archie, both people presented as excellent judges of character looked at Regina and saw a woman who was lost.  

And her own reactionary insistence that she knew who she was was the surest sign that they were right.  When Regina is backed into a corner her instinct is always defiance.  It is always to fight and refuse to be defined.  The nature of her bluster allows us to see that the truth is the opposite of what she says.  Regina during the Evil Queen period didn’t know who she was.  And Regina really doesn’t love having to fight all the time.

Young Regina was a woman who despite as we know, already having a difficult life, believes in the power of love to change the world.  This statement, that true love is the most powerful magic of all is even more powerful when you realize that Regina even at this point in her life is incredibly familiar with magic.  She has seen raw power from her mother’s finger tips hurt and kill even before Daniel.  She has learned to fear magic…. yet power to her doesn’t come from the ability to hurt but the ability to create happiness.

Regina would spend the rest of her life trying to find happiness, often misguidedly, but that search for happiness has defined her life.  As has her respect for love.  When she has lost herself it has come when she’s lost hope for love but not because she lost belief in it’s power.

Love might be weakness or strength at different points in her life but it is always the key to a person.  The most important trait.

As cynical as she might seem, and as beaten down by her life, there is an incredible resiliency to Regina.  The holder of the most resilient heart.  And that shows not just in her ability to love deeply and passionately but also in the persistence of her belief in the power of the things her culture told her were more powerful than darkness:  love and hope.

This moment on the rooftop may speak to a kind of heart breaking history of unfulfilled wishes… 

… but conversely it also speaks about a woman who even after all those “useless” wishes continued to believe in their power.  The amazing thing is not that her wishes weren’t answered.  It was that she has kept making them. 

Snow White may be the character we most associate with hope, but Regina is the character who most manifests a deep belief in it even though no one would fault her for giving up.

For Regina that search for happiness has always come strongly intertwined with family.  Unfortunately for Regina she kept looking for that love and support from a woman who was never capable of giving it to her.  When she was investing all of her desire for family in her mother she was always going to come back hurt and wounded.

But when she invested her heart with Henry all the damage Cora did slowly began to be undone.  Henry taught Regina what true love and family could feel like and as soon as that happened she was determined to show that faith and give that strength Henry gave her to others.

Be it constantly reminding Emma in her darkest hour of who she was….

Or helping her longest enemy and oldest friend remember who she was.

To having faith in Zelena beyond all reason and offering her a hand out of the darkness that she had once been lost in herself.

And it goes beyond her immediate family.  Because Regina, despite the fact that perhaps she never wanted power is a natural leader.  Not because she is a queen but because she has a deep innate need to serve.  Comments about infrastruture and beaucracy may be funny, and we can joke about a woman who loves doing paperwork even as her world is collapsing, but fundamentally all of these come down to a deep need to protect and to lead.  Much more so than most of the other hcaracters who also hold leadership positions.

Both Snow and Charming lead in a way that speaks of a naive belief that people follow you because of a title.  They are the prince and the princess and if they look the part the rest will follow.  When Regina talks about leadership it actually comes from a place built on some of the fundamental values of how a leader has to think.

That leadership and heroism are different things.  And that you can’t simply expect people to follow you for title or power or heroics, but because people have to trust that you will make the decisions that will serve them not just some idea of being a good or heroic individual.

But all of this also comes back to your original question.  What is Regina at her core.  Is it the nature of the woman before her life.  Or is it who she is after the pain, and darkness, and love and loss.

I would say the striving to be better is her most fundamental trait now.  One that recognizes that no she isn’t a hero for one act, or two, or ten.  That heroism is something that happens in a moment.  To be a hero you have to continuously work.  

You have to self examine why you are doing these things.  Is good done for your own gain (even if that gain is redemption) really good.  Is heroism done for glory heroism?  

And as utterly heart breaking as her current mindset is, it’s also an incredible statement about her fundamental goodness.

She doesn’t do good for glory.  She doesn’t do good expecting reward.  She doesn’t see doing good as it’s own reward.  In fact it’s just the opposite.  She sees doing good as being inherently painful but she does it anyway.  This is intertwined in her belief about being a good leader.  Sometimes you have to decide who is going to lose for the greater good.  

Regina has made the choice that she will lose so that others can be happy.

And that is more remarkable, more special, more noble than any act of heroism she could possibly perform.

I’m normally fully behind Rick & Co when they try to get out of whatever bad situation they’re in but how they approached Oceanside was COMPLETELY jacked. They could have said they were the Saviors and those women would have believed them because what’s the difference from how they were acting?? Holding little girls at gunpoint like that?? They quickly vomited a plan to kill Negan and the Saviors with no in depth info, nothing that would give them reason to join them other than, “You gotta”, and literally only gave them 3 minutes to make a life-altering decision. Like they were supposed to be like “heck yeah fam let’s ride out”. Like they were going to commit their livelihood to a group they’ve never seen before! Not knowing if they’re good or just as bad as the Saviors!

If they were smart about this and really wanted a way to make Oceanside join their fight, all they had to do is bring Tara back and another woman who looks harmless and trusting like Maggie to talk to the Grandma and Cyndie. Let them lay out a full detailed blueprint about their idea, saying they too have lost things to the saviors and they don’t want to rule under their thumb in fear. Play that sympathy card hard. Then explain how they’ve communicated with these groups and have made a pact to protect each other. Something that gives them an idea of what they’re getting into. Yeah, the grandma is hard to break but with Cyndie, she can help persuade the others like she did in the episode. Most importantly, don’t give them 5 minutes to dedicated their lives to you.

If the shoes were reversed and a group rolled up on Rick & Co telling them to join or they’re taking everything, they would have NOT bowed as easily (probably tried to kill them tbh) so why should they expect these women to so themselves???? lmao look i am PUMPED for All Out War and can’t wait for this to pop off but they really went full on stoopid with how they did this

Today’s Good Morning Post (4/10/17): Sometimes we make bad decisions that have very detrimental consequences. But understand that we aren’t defined by our mistakes, we are defined with what we learn from them, and how we move forward. You are responsible for your actions, and while you may not be able to control outcomes, you can control your future actions to move forward with your life.

Reminder that if you’re trying to figure out gender and sexuality it is totally okay to focus on what you *want* first and then, if necessary, turn that into a statement about who/what you are.

Your questioning doesn’t have to start out as “am I a woman?” “Am I a lesbian?” “Am I asexual?” etc.

You can focus on decisions you want to make with your life. Whether or not you want to get rid of facial hair that makes you feel like shit. Whether or not you want people to call you she, whether that feels good or bad or neutral or just confusing. Whether or not you want to have sex with a particular girl or particular guy.

Sometimes identity level questions are overwhelming or concepts don’t make sense. What is “romantic attraction” and how is it different from liking someone and also possibly wanting to kiss or have sex with them? What does it feel like to be a woman or a man? Some people just know but other people have a hard time with that. Focusing on what you do or don’t want to do can be easier. That’s allowed.