gonna-jump

B. A. R. D.

Bard : So we’ve got this airship.

Gunslinger : Yup.

Bard : And I can cast Feather Fall on a small group of people.

Gunslinger : Mmhmm?

Bard : So technically, if it DOES come to war, I can drop a small task force of heavily armored troops into the enemy’s backline. Probably archers.

Gunslinger : You know… That’s a good idea.

Bard : I’m gonna call them BARD Jumps. Brilliant Aerial Reconnaissance Drops. Bard.

Gunslinger : *facepalm*

i hate seeing people whine about ‘poor baby anders why would anyone hate him he did nothing wrong! he just wants peace for mages!!’ Because, boy! There are so many reasons to hate him. So I’m gonna list out all the reasons I hate this shitty ass character :) so sorry if it’s long

obviously, he blew up a chantry and killed a lot of innocent people. Let me repeat that because some reason people think that’s okay. Anders blew up a place of worship and killed innocent people.

Not only that but it made Meredith call for the right of annulment which gave templars the right to kill every mage in the circle. So not only did he kill innocent people in the chantry that he fucking blew up, innocent mages of the circle can also die.(depends on if you side with templars.)

The conversation he had with Aveline about her dead husband, which obviously crossed a line.

  • Anders: So you married a templar, huh?
  • Aveline: What of it?
  • Anders: Are they all as dirty as they seem?
  • Aveline: What?
  • Anders: Did he ever ask you to play “the naughty mage and the helpless recruit?” Maybe the “secret desire demon and the upstanding knight?”
  • Aveline: That’s disgusting!
  • Anders: I hear it’s quite popular.

The way he acts towards Fenris and Merrill if Hawke is in a relationship with either of them is disgusting.

  • Anders: I know it isn’t my place to criticize, but…
  • Anders: Are you sure about Fenris?
  • Anders: He seems less a man to me than a wild dog.
  • Hawke: You just don’t know him.
  • Anders: I know as much as I’m ever likely to.
  • Fenris: That’s right, mage.
  • Anders: He has let one bad experience color his whole world. Surely you want someone more openminded?
  • Fenris: A mage and a hypocrite. What company you keep.

He compares him to a dog and says ‘ONE’ bad experience made him like this?? O FUCKING KAY ANDERS

(If Hawke romanced Merrill but also slept with Isabela)

  • Anders: Hawke was a fool to let you move in. You’ll only betray him/her. That’s all your kind can do.
  • Merrill: Why do you only do this to me? Are you jealous? You don’t get upset about Hawke and Isabela.
  • Anders: You can’t really get jealous of someone for sleeping with Isabela. It’s just…understood.
  • Anders: She’s like a side dish. She comes with the meal.

Literally he’s disgusting

  • Anders: I know it isn’t my place to criticize, but… are you sure about Merrill? She acts sweet, but she’ll never choose you over her demon.
  • Hawke: Merrill loves me.

(If Merrill is in the party)

  • Merrill: What right do you have to question us? Is your Justice any different?
  • Anders: Yes. Keep your illusions then. Maker knows I won’t be the one to change them.

How can I forget! He approves to giving Fenris back to Danarius! You get approval from him by sending a slave back to their master. That in itself is enough for me to fucking hate him. He fucking whines about mages needing freedom from the circles and templars but? fenris hates mages? Better send him back to a life of being a slave. :)

lol I’m definitely forgetting some things but I need to get ready for school so this’ll do.  

And to anyone that tries to come and defend him, I DON’T CARE. I literally don’t want to hear what you have to say to try and defend him. I don’t.

The Time I Pushed a Jerkface off a 35ft Cliff(With Good Reason)

Before we start off let me be clear. I did not murder a man by randomly shoving him off a cliff. Technically, I actually had permission, but still not murder. Chill.

Here we go.

So this is back in Mexico, at the same park as the Sting Ray Incident, just an hour later. Id already recovered from my near death experience and moved on from my friend nearly drowning me. I faced it, i survived, im good and not concerned.

One of the many attractions at this park was the Cliff of Courage. It’s a 35ft cliff that plunges into the water. Now, by my standards, 35ft is low for a cliff jump. Ive done way higher (adrenaline junkie) but obviously i was gonna jump just to say that I did. My parents, grandparents, and Jamie didnt want to jump. No surprise, so they went ahead to meet me on the other side of the river.

So sixteen year old me wanders over and there’s this big group of burly looking men.

Like huge

They’re all standing at the edge jostling each other around. And just by looking at them you can see they’re american. I dont even need to hear their texan accents to know.

So they’re pulling the whole macho act of “you jump i jump” “ohhh but then you wont jump” bs and just generally being chickens and not willing to show it.

And because of this they wont let anyone else jump. Like ten people came and left because these jerks wouldnt let anyone else go.

Eventually i get annoyed and snap “either jump or get out of my way!”

And the dude who is obviously the leader just turns and grins at me.

He assumed what i call the “douchebag alpha male pose” hands on hips, crotch foreward, you know the one, and you know the body language that goes with it.

He thinks he’s superior. Now this guy is the biggest of them all.

Massive biceps, raging six pack, the works. The Hulk would probaby do a double take at this dudes size.

And little me is not intimidated in the least.

I learned to fight at a very young age, especially men larger than me. I know if things turns south i can take him no problem. A few hits here and there and he’s out for the count.

He starts walking towards me, and i step forward too. He may be alpha male, but he just crossed an Alpha Female who doesnt back down from a challenge.

Strike one.

He looks over at his pals and says,

“Ohhhh, the little lady’s going to jump, is she?” And he just sneers down at me, all arrogance and misplaced confidence.

Strike two.

“Tell you what, sweetheart.” Ohhh he did not just say that. “You jump, we’ll let you push us.”

Three strikes he’s out he just made the biggest mistake of his life.

I just grin and go “ok” and turn and immediately dive over the edge. Im soaring through the air, enjoying the fall. I turn just in time to see his face go from 😏 to 😧

I smack down into the water grinning. Originally the plan was the swim across the river and meet up with my family, but i am cashing in this bet. Except there’s only one way to get back up to that cliff from here

I scale the side of the cliff with the rope and I can hear them chatting nervously up top

I pop up over the edge and prop myself up on the ledge with the sweetest, most steel-lined smile I can manage and say, “who’s next?”

So Alpha laughs and stands at the edge as I haul myself up. He’s laughing and assuring his buddies he’ll be back in a second cause I wont really do it and–

I straight arm him and he goes flying

He flails and plunges over the edge, shrieking in the most high pitched, terrified shriek Ive ever heard a dude bro make. He sputters to the surface and gapes up at me as I grin like a hellion down at him. I turn to the rest of his jerk buddies and smile.

Oddly enough they all jumped of their own accord

10

Receipt #21 as to how Emily Fields is always a step behind everyone else. 

All the other liars have had flashbacks to show the audience a glimpse of what they’ve dealt with during the five year time jump. Aria has hooked up with Jason, Spencer in Madrid with Caleb, Hanna dealing with her issues with Caleb, and Alison teaching/being with Charlotte. What do we see with Emily? The most relatable liar who was dealing with all kinds of life-altering events? Absolutely nothing. According to Marlene, Emily dropped out of college in Cali, went to Italy, taught Caleb how to surf, had a DJ’ing gig while sluttin’ it up in the nightlife with all kinds of girls. Booooi, that’s the most interesting five year backstory out of everyone and we don’t get see any of it? And for such a huge adventure like that, she hardly ever mentions it, herself?? As if she never did such a thing?? We couldn’t see Emily being a mess in Italy or even dealing with the news of Wayne’s death but we had to sit through flashbacks of Ezra and Nicole???

From romance to the actual writing of her character, Emily will always be one step behind everyone else.

I love how at the beginning everyone was like, “oh its just karasuno, they’re like trash,the fallen crows, not flying anymore, pffft” but now, 200+ chapters later karasuno’s at nationals and everyone’s like, “be careful bout that baldy spiker, and the ace, their captain, he’s gonna jump float don’t underestimate him, their libero, wtf look out there are two setters now, that’s the kid who shut Wakatoshi’s spike, that fucking setter, thAT FUCKING NUMBER 10”

Beautiful stars pick up line joke

Daichi: The stars are so beautiful

Sugawara: Yup, so beautiful

Daichi: Do you know what else is beautiful? 

Sugawara: Let me guess, current Karasuno’s volleyball team captain?

Daichi: (blush a little) Wrong guess, it’s the beautiful setter of Karasuno started with Sugawara and ended with Kous—

Sugawara: (blush) Daichi it’s embarrassing

Daichi: (blush) it is

[And then later the two of them spending the rest of their time being blushy blushy while holding hand and lots of cute kissy kissy]




Kageyama: The stars are so beautiful

Hinata: Yeah!!!

Kageyama: You know what else is beautiful?

Hinata: The moment when the ball from your toss hit my palm?

Kageyama: I was gonna say your jump but yeah that moment is beautiful too




Yamaguchi: Look, Tsukki! The stars are so beautiful!

Tsukishima: Yeah I could see them

Yamaguchi:

Tsukishima:

Yamaguchi:

Tsukishima: Do you know what else is beautiful?

Yamaguchi: Dinosaurs?

Tsukishima: It’s yo—wait what




Kuroo: Kenma I brought you here to see the stars not the psp

Kenma:

Kuroo:

Kenma: okay

Kuroo: Look, the stars are so beautiful

Kenma:

Kuroo:

Kenma: ….okay?

Kuroo: Do you know what else is beautiful?

Kenma:

Kuroo:

Kenma:

Kuroo:

Kenma:

Kuroo: Kenma answer me I sound like a fool here talking by myself I want to try the pick up line please cooperate




Lev: Senpai! The stars are soooo beautiful!!

Yaku: Hm

Lev: Do you need a lift to see them better?

Yaku: Do you need a hit so the stars appears right before your eyes




Oikawa: Iwa-chan the stars are so beautiful

Iwaizumi: Yeah i—

Oikawa: You know what else is beautiful?

Oikawa: Me

Iwaizumi:

Oikawa:

Iwaizumi:

Oikawa:

Iwaizumi:

Iwaizumi:

Oikawa:

Iwaizumi:

Oikawa: Iwa-chan say something stop looking at me like I’m the most disgusting thing in the world




Hanamaki: The stars are so beautiful

Matsukawa: You’re more beautiful than the stars

Hanamaki:

Matsukawa:

Hanamaki: Bro

Matsukawa: Bro

Hanamaki: No homo?

Matsukawa: Full homo, bro.

Hanamaki: B r o




Ushijima: The stars are so beautiful.

Shirabu: Indeed.

Ushijima: Do you know what else is beautiful?

Shirabu: Victory?

Ushijima: Victory.




Tendou: The stars are so beautiful

Semi: It is

Tendou: You know what else is beautiful?

Semi: W-what?

Tendou: (whispering) The sounds of a heart breaking and the shattering spirit