golf related

anonymous asked:

Now he's a womanizer , and this really disappoint me :(

Wait what? He only liked some pictures, it doesn’t mean anything. Don’t judge him please. 90% of his likes are golf related stuff anyway.

with lindsay being the head of ah, i’ve seen a bunch of headcanons about fake ah crew geoff being relieved to be passing the buck to lindsay and being less responsible for the trigger-happy children that make up the crew, and i am one hundred percent into that

like geoff is so tired. geoff is so done. geoff is so ready to spend his days drinking and buying expensive golf clubs (ostensibly as a retirement hobby but actually as carefully considered weapons with which to wield with bad golf-related puns) and yelling at late late night television 

(don’t you do that shit already? michael asks.)

in fact, geoff is more than happy about lindsay’s promotion, except—

except then there’s jeremy.

listen, folks, geoff’s all smiles riiiiight up until lil’ j calls lindsay boss, and then he’s sulking for three straight days and nobody can figure out why

then one day jeremy starts calling everybody boss—i’m talking michael, ryan, mica, the dude at the cash register at the grocery store

geoff is absolutely full of vinegar and it is spectacular.

Bad Bob has three hobbies that are not hockey related. 

1: Golf. Dude just loves golf. He likes to say that it’s something about holding the club that reminds him of his time on the ice, but the truth is, he just loves the peace. The long walks, the calm before the swing. It’s nothing like hockey and he’s knees appreciate it. 

2: MMO’s. He loves online gaming. He never really got to play a lot when he was younger - his whole life was hockey. But when he retired he was at a complete loss. He started with Farmville. Then Alicia bought him WoW because she couldn’t take one more facebook request, and the nice boy at GameStop told her that it was popular. Bob loves it. He’s in a guild. No-one has ever heard of hockey - but they know him. He’s DadBobZ and when it’s raining outside, his joints don’t ache as much when he’s in his ‘office’ with a beer and his headset on. 

3: Reading. He’s a member of a ladies reading circle. Alicia joined once a few years back but got bored of the first book half way through and Bob picked it up. It’s supposed to be ladies only, but they let Bob in on it because he’s so enthusiastic about the romances they read - and he’s genuinely interested in what everyone’s kids and grandkids are up to. When Jack overdosed it was these women who helped him. They told him about kids and friends who had troubles too - the ones that made it and the ones that didn’t. It took Bob a long time to talk about Jack without a sad expression, but in time he was telling everyone about something Jack said when he visited. 


Alicia has three hobbies that are not fashion related. 

1: Craft Brewing. She bought Bob one of those ‘brew your own’ kits one year, and although he always swore he was going to do it, he never did. It sat in the garage for a year before she figured ‘fuck it’ and gave it a go. She loved it, and Bob has had bottle stickers made for her. Screw Ewe Boo Ales. She can’t remember where the name came from (they were trying out the first batch and it was a little stronger that she was expecting and both her and Bob woke up the next morning with killer headaches and a piece of paper with ‘Screw Ewe Boo’ written on it.)

2: She’s a huge Star Trek fan. She’s one of the fandom elders who remembers (and still owns) a few of the underground zines that used to make their way through circles of fans. She’s got a Tumblr (Bob knows about it, he thinks it’s awesome, and Jack knows nothing) and she gets into serious Discourse over headcanons and plots. She likes the reboot but she’ll fight anyone who thinks that they are better the TOS. 

3: Boxing. This is slightly tied into fashion as she was invited to a lot of bouts when she was ‘super hot’ but she actually really loved the sport. Bob likes it too, which is good - but there is no doubt that Alicia is the big fan. She has her own punch bag in the indoor gym they have. It’s not pink - her tape is though. When Jack had his overdose, she spent hours punching the shit out of the bag, and for a few months her knuckles were bruised and bloodied. It was easier than going through all the ways she thought she failed. 

anonymous asked:

what being best friends with niall would be like?

Beer dates to beer festivals, concerts with beer, late night phone calls after he’s done a show and he is PUMPED about it, getting to hear his music before anyone else, sitting in the studio with him while he crafts a song, last minute phone calls for you to join him out on tour because he’s bored, bets on everything related to golf and soccer, high fives with mouth fulls of ridiculously good food, banter so good you know it’ll never be that good with anyone else, dealing with his protectiveness, having to explain constantly that he’s “just a friend”, long hugs when you finally see him after months on tour, late night phone calls where he’s emotional and lonely and “really hates being alone”, text messages about stupid shit like what happened on The Walking Dead, noogies, walking arm in arm down the street drunk singing as LOUD AS YOU CAN, hearing him on the radio tell stories of your adventures, admiration, connection and love.

the signs as quotes from Scream Queens
  • Aries: "It's about kicking the living crap out of someone when they disrespect you."
  • Taurus: "She smells like hotdog water and probably sprained her neck giving blumpkins."
  • Gemini: "What fresh hell is this?"
  • Cancer: "You stupid dugongs."
  • Leo: "I didn't even know I was pregnant, I thought I was having a bread baby."
  • Virgo: "I totally spit in your coffee, bitch."
  • Libra: "I am not missing Waterfalls for this, Waterfalls is my jam."
  • Scorpio: "Good evening idiot hookers."
  • Sagittarius: "Everybody wants to get with this. Women, men, animals at the zoo, plants probably."
  • Capricorn: "Ok Pissy Spacek."
  • Aquarius: "Did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt?"
  • Pisces: "We're just trying to have a nice day hitting golf balls at hippies."
I Can’t Keep It In

Masterlist

Thanks to the anon who suggested this!: Can you do one where you guys are just friends and he starts to realize how much he loves you as he watches you playing and dancing around with lux and then he tells you how he feels that night before you go to bed?

Song: We Could Be Anything-Jay Ollero

“What do you mean you forgot to get him a present?”

“I mean, I’ve been so busy planning this bloody party I completely spaced on getting him anything.  Can you pick something up for me?”

“Harry,” I sighed.  I was already in my car on the way to his house to help him set up for Niall's’ surprise birthday party.  My backseat was already full of balloons and other party favors I don’t think I could fit anything else in here if I tried.

“Please?  I’ll reimburse you when you get here.  Just run to Sport Chalet and pick him up some golf balls or something.”

I switched into the right lane, directing myself towards the mall.  “You really think he needs more golf balls? Or anything golf related?”

I heard the sound of glass shattering followed by Harry mumbling a curse word.  “Yes, just get him golf balls. I know it stupid but I’ll get him something better later.  It’ll look bad if I don’t show up with anything.”

I pulled into the mall parking lot.  “Alright, I’m at the outlet.  I’ll be to your house in a few.”

I heard him exhale in relief.  “You are the best.  See you soon.”

I ran as quickly as I could into the store and ending up finding some letter engraved golf balls.  I ended up grabbing some with ‘N’s’ and some with ‘H’s’.  At least it would look like some effort was put into the gift.  After checking out and getting back in the car I headed as fast I could over to Harry’s.  We had about forty minutes until people started showing up and then Louis was going to bring Niall over.  

I got to Harry’s house and parked by his garage so there was more parking space out front.  I didn’t have enough arms to carry everything in at the same time so I grabbed as much as I could and closed the door with my foot before walking up to his front door.  

He had told me I could come straight in, but that was proving difficult since I didn’t have free hand.  I was able to free a finger, so I rang on his doorbell and waited on the porch.   Thirty seconds later I heard quick footsteps, and Harry swung open the door.  

I clenched my jaw and tried not to drop anything I was holding.  He was standing in front of me with nothing but  towel wrapped lowly around his waist.  His face was flushed from clearly just getting out of the shower.  His hair fell in damp, wild curls around his face and there was still beads of water dripping down his torso.  It’s not like I’d never seen Harry shirtless before, I mean even tonight was a pool party, but I had never seen him like his before.  

I shook my head clearing my thoughts.  “There’s still a bunch more in my trunk, but here’s some of it.”

“Alright.  Here, let me grab some.”

He took a few bags from my hands and led the way into the house.  My eyes fell directly on his towel, and I could see the outline of his bum behind the cotton as he walked.  I felt my cheeks heat up and I immediately averted my eyes.  I had no idea what was wrong with me tonight.   Harry and I were just friends, I would go as far as to say best friends.  It’s not like I had never thought about us being more, but it just wasn’t like that.  

We walked into his kitchen and set the bags on the counter.  Harry lifted his arm, scratching the back of his head before resting his hand on his hip and grinning over at me.  

“You look very pretty tonight.”

I was wearing a black dress with floral print that came to the bottom of my thighs with some red pumps.  I smoothed my dress down with my palms, smiling.  “Thank you, Harry.”

He grinned back, his coin sized dimples popping.  “I on the other hand am dressed a bit too casual.  I’ll be right back.”  I nodded and he left the kitchen, running up the stairs to get dressed.  

I busied myself with unloading some of the bags and setting things up.  I figured I’d wait to get the other things out of the car when Harry got back.  

When he came back down the stairs he was wearing black jeans and his white, black, and red plaid button down.  He had the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and his hair was dried and groomed to its usual, downy curls.

“You’re looking quite dapper.”  

He laughed, opening a cupboard and reaching for some plates.  “I do clean up quite nice, don’t I.”

He set the plates down on the counter and reached into his pocket, “Before I forget,” He pulled out a small box, handing it out to me. “I got you this the other day and haven’t had a chance to give it to you until now.”

I took it, feeling the slick, black box between my fingers.  

“So you forgot to get Niall something but you got me a gift?”

He pressed his lips together, the tips of his ears going pink.

I grinned, opening up the box and letting out a quiet gasp.  It was a small pendant necklace that had a silver stone in the middle and smaller stones around it.  

“I don’t know what to say.”

He chuckled.  “You don’t have to say anything.  Just maybe don’t tell Niall I forgot about him.”

“Harry…how much was this?”

He rocked back on his heels. “Don’t worry about it.  Do you like it?”

I nodded, lifting it delicately.  “Of course I do.  It’s beautiful.”  

I looked up, smiling at him brightly.  “What’s the occasion?”

He took the box from my hand, picking up the necklace.  “Just because.  Turn around.”  

I turned, pulling my hair to one side.  

I felt the heat from his body as he stepped closer to me, lifting his arms over my head and draping the necklace around me. His warm, rough fingers fumbled on the back of my neck as he worked the clasp.   Once he got it secure I turned back around and he smiled sweetly down at me.

“Just as beautiful as the girl wearing it.”

I shoved his shoulder playfully.  “Oh, stop. But really Harry, I love it.”

He grabbed my hand. “Good.  Now we better get going or Niall’s going to be walking into a train wreck.”

We got the rest of the decorations set up and Harry got “his” present wrapped while I started setting out some of the food.  Since we were doing a barbecue we were going to wait to start cooking until everyone was here.

The doorbell rang just as Harry was taking a cooler of drinks outside.

I finished hanging the banner I brought, stepping down from the chair. “I’ll get it.”

I walked over to the door, pulling it open as people filed in.  I greeted everyone that came in and directed them to the table where they could set their gifts.  Harry took care of the guest list so I didn’t know who exactly was coming.  It was a bunch of friends I did know and a bunch I didn’t, but It looked like it was going to be a crazy night.

**

“Alright everybody, shh.  Louis has him in the car and they’re on their way over.”  Liam hung up his phone, tucking it in his pocket.  Niall thought him and the other boys were just going to the pub for drinks, and louis told him they have to pick up Harry.  

Everyone was tucked into every hiding place available throughout Harry’s kitchen and living room.   I was crouched behind the counter along with Lottie and Lux, whom we were trying to keep from giggling.  

Not too long later and we heard the door open.

“Harry c’mon, what are you doing?  I’ve honked five times now–”

“Surprise!”

As far as surprise birthday parties go, we nailed it. Harry counted us down from his place behind the curtains and everyone jumped out at the same time, catching Niall off guard.  He was startled for a second until Louis came up behind him, smiling and clapping a hand on his back.

“Happy birthday, mate.”

I started setting up food platters as everyone began to migrate outside.  I had just finished setting out the vegetables when an arm slung around my shoulders.  

Niall eyed me suspiciously, using his free hand to snag a carrot stick  “This was all you, wasn’t it?”

I laughed, brushing off my hands.  “Actually it was all Harry.  Although I may have helped a little.”

He squinted his eyes at me before nodding. “He forgot to get me something didn’t he?”

“I..don’t know what you’re talking about.  I’m sure he–”

“Oh please.  He’s been making dodgy eye contact with me since I got here. The boy is transparent.”

He popped the carrot into his mouth and grabbed one of the trays.  “I honestly don’t even care, but I’m enjoying watching him squirm.”

I laughed picking up the other tray and following him outside.  

When we got outside I immediately wished I had brought my sunglasses.

I set the tray on one of the tables and grabbed a drink from the cooler before walking over to where Harry was standing at the grill.

“Looking good.”

He pushed his Ray Bans into his hair and winked, “Thanks.”

I narrowed my eyes, taking a sip of my drink.  “I meant the food.”

He chuckled, flipping a burger. “Sure you did.”

I rolled my eyes as he grabbed the drink from my hand. “Well the party turned out great.  Niall sure seems to be enjoying himself.”

We both turned to see Niall standing next to Lou, Liam, and Sophia as he attempted to stuff as many grapes into his cheeks as he could.

Harry made a face, turning back to the grill as he took a swig of my drink.  

“So.  I never asked how your date went the other night.”

I shrugged, grabbing the drink from his hands.  “It was fine.  He was…different.”

Harry flicked his eyes over at me, smirking.  “Where did he take you?”

“The Little Door.”

“Did you get the Moroccan cookies?”

“Oh yeah, but he definitely ate more than his half.”

“Wow.”

“I know right.”

“I wouldn’t have let you have any.”

I tilted my head, handing him a plate to put the burgers on.  “You would of have to fight me for them, and trust me, you would have lost.”

He hummed, grabbing the plate.  “That sounds like a challenge.  You free next weekend?”

I pressed my lips together, fighting back the smile. “Maybe.  Are you asking me on a date?”  

He smiled, closing the grill. “If that’s what you want to call it.”

We all ate and mingled for a while, until most of us were getting antsy from the heat.  There were only a couple of clouds in the sky, neither of which were blocking the sun.

I quickly went into the house to change into my swimsuit, wrapping my new necklace in my folded clothes and then made my way over to where Sophia, Lottie, and Gemma were lounging by the pool already changed.  I took a seat next to them in one of the chairs and fastened my hair into a bun.

The back door opened again and harry came strolling out with a towel thrown over his shoulder.  He was wearing his little yellow swim trunks that left very little to the imagination.  I found myself staring as he walked across the yard and joined some others by the pool.  He bent down to where lux was sitting and helped her blow up her floaties, before sliding them onto her arms.  

“Honestly.  He calls those swim trunks?” Gemma had lifted her glasses from her face and was shaking her head.  We all laughed as he helped Lux down into pool.

Lottie lifted her hand, shielding her eyes from the sun.  “It is so hot out today.”

We all hummed in agreement.

Gemma chuckled, “Not as hot as that barista we saw the other day.”

Lottie sat up in her chair. “Did you ever figure out his name?”

“Ugh, no but I did talk to my girlfriend whose boyfriend works there and found out his work schedule.”

I laughed as they rambled on. Sophia turned to me, running her hand through her hair.  

“So, are you dating anyone?”

“Uh, not really, no.”  I definitely wouldn’t count the guy I went out with the other night, and besides that by dating pool was sparse.

Sophie nodded, smiling as she uncapped a water bottle.  “Is there anyone you fancy at the moment?”

I turned my head and saw Harry carrying Lux around on his back through the water.  

“It’s…complicated.”

Before she had time to ask anymore questions, Lottie and Gemma shrieked next to us.  Louis had doused them both with water from the pool.   Liam swam to the edge, next to Louis.

“If you girls don’t get in we’re bringing to pool to you.”

We all jumped in the water before they carried out their threat.

We stayed in the water, splashing and messing around until the sun started to set.  Niall and Louis had gotten ahold of some water guns and were now running away from a very upset Lou.  

I was showing Lux how to blow bubbles and Harry was floating on his back next to us.  

“I’m cold.”  I looked back to Lux who had her hands balled into fists. Her teeth were chattering and her lips were turning a bit blue.  I moved her hair from her eyes and pulled her in my arms.

“Harry, I’m going to take her out.”

Harry flipped upright, running a hand through his soaking hair.  “You’re cold?” He cooed.  “Well we can’t have that.”

He swam to the edge of the pool and pushed himself out, grabbing a towel off a nearby chair.

He held out the towel and I lifted her out of the pool, before pushing myself out.  Harry wrapped her up tight, picking her up and carrying her to the house.  Everyone else evacuated the pool not long after that and changed back into their clothes.  

We were all out back outside waiting for Sophia to bring out the cake she offered to bring.  Someone had turned on the radio and some of us had taken to dancing on the grass.  I had Lux’s hands in mine and was spinning around with her.  She giggled as I spun her under my arm, before scooping her up and twirling around.  I laughed as she tilted her head back, cackling.  

Mid spin I caught Harry staring at me from where he sat in a chair on the porch.  He was back in his clothes with his hair pulled up into a loose bun.  He had his hands clasped on his knees and he was resting on his elbows.  

His expression was soft and he was grinning as he continued to watch us. I set Lux down spun her under my arm again as I looked at Harry. He was still smiling softly, but his eyes shifted and his expression suddenly looked a little pained.  

I smiled over at him and he smirked back before looking down at his hands.  

Sophia came out with a lit cake in her hands and we all headed towards the porch.

I went and stood next to harry as Niall took his place in front of the cake.  

I hugged my arms discretely around myself, regretting not bringing warmer clothes.

Harry rubbed his hands together, looking over at me.  “Did you bring a jacket?”

I shook my head and he immediately started shrugging his off.

“I’m ok, Harry.  I don’t want you to be cold.”

He ignored me, draping his coat around my shoulders.  “That’s alright. I’m actually a bit…warm.”

My stomach fluttered as I watched his lips form around the word warm.

He cleared his throat and stood back next to me, his arm brushing mine.  I pulled my arms through the sleeves and my body immediately drank up the warmth he had left in it.  

“Thanks.”

He looked down at me with a glint in his eye. “Sure thing.  You look good in it.”

We all sang a rambunctious round of ‘Happy Birthday’ and then Niall blew out his candles before cutting the cake.  

Harry handed me a plate and I picked up my fork, taking a much too big of a bite.  

Harry laughed, licking off his fork.  “You’ve got a little,”  he gestured to his upper lip.  I swiped my tongue across my lip but came back with nothing.

I giggled. “Where is it?”

He smiled, reaching out his hand and swiping his thumb just above my upper lip.  I stood still as he brought his hand back, licking the frosting off his thumb.  

“You want to get mine too, Harry?”

I snorted as I looked beside Harry and saw Niall whose face covered in frosting.  I had completely missed it happening, but he was now wearing half the cake.  

Harry tried to shove him away but Niall just stepped closer.  “Niall, don’t you dare.”

“C’mon Harry, give me a birthday kiss.”  They were both laughing and pushing each other until Harry backed into a table causing Niall to stumble into him and, he ended up getting a smear of frosting across his face.  They stepped inside, still shoving each other, to clean up while the rest of us finished eating.  

When they got back out Niall started opening his presents.  When opened up the golf balls I had gotten earlier Harry shifted on his feet.

“And what do we have here?  Golf balls with my initials in them.  How thoughtful, Harry.”

Niall beamed over at Harry who stammered back a quiet ‘you’re welcome’.

Niall winked over at me and moved on to his other gifts.

**

The party had dwindled down and harry and I were sitting by the edge of the pool, our feet hanging in the water.

“Did you have fun tonight?”

I nodded, kicking my feet and watched ripples glide through the water.  “Yeah.  Did you?”

He nodded, his hand gripping the edge the pool.  “Yeah.”

“So did you–”

“I really like you.”

I turned my head to look at Harry and his eyes were fixed straight ahead of him.

“What?”

He hung his head, shaking it slightly.  “Sorry. That sounded stupid.”

I waited as he took a deep breath, pulling his feet out the pool and bringing his knees to his chest.

He looked at me and I could tell that he was nervous.  
“I like you too, Harry.”

He laughed lightly, looking down and biting his lip.  He took another breath before letting it all rush out.  

“I like you more than just a friend.  I’ve been feeling this way for a long while now, but I didn’t know when was an appropriate time to tell you this.”  He exhaled. “But I’m tired of keeping this in.”  He scooted closer to me so our noses were nearly touching.  “I really, really like you.  More than just a friend.”

I swallowed before letting a smile stretch across my face.  “I really like you too, Harry.  More than just a friend.”

He laughed and leaned in closer so our noses were now brushing.  His lips were nearly touching mine when someone shouted from across the yard.

“Hey Harry, where do you want these dishes!”

We both sighed, turning to see Liam with a hand full of plates.  

“Just a…put them in the sink.”

Liam turned back into the house as the mood that had been set faded away.  Harry stood up and helped me to my feet.

“I guess we should go in.”

He nodded and I kept my head down, leading the way into the house.

**

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help? I don’t mind staying longer.”

I braced my hand against the wall, slipping my shoes back on as Harry tucked his hands into his front pockets.

“Nah.  I can just get the rest tomorrow.”

I nodded, straightening up.  “Oh! Before I forget.”

I started to take off his jacket, but he stopped me.  

“You can wear it home if you like.  I wouldn’t want you getting cold.  You can give it back to me when we go out next weekend.”

He smirked as I stepped in closer to him.  

He closed the space, resting his fingers lightly on my waist and leaning in.  When his lips were nearly on mine again I turned my head so they landed on my cheek.

“Mmm, I think I’m gonna keep you waiting.”

He whined, tightening his hands around my waist. “How long?”

“Until after our date, and maybe I’ll be extra giving if you let me have more of the macaroons.”  I wanted to kiss him just as bad, in fact I don’t know how I had the strength to pull away, but I liked keeping him on his toes.

He laughed, grazing his lips across my cheek before pulling away.  “You’re mean.”

I smirked, resting my hands lightly on his chest.  “Trust me.  I’ll make it worth the wait.”

I pecked him lightly on the side of his mouth before grabbing my bag from the hall closet.

He wished me goodnight, and opened up the door for me.

I stepped out, smiling to myself as I walked away, pressing my hand to the necklace glistening on my chest.

This one came together so fast!! I hope you like it! :)