golden-arch

Knowing Japanese is Cool

Not a fuck customers story, but something actually kind of funny.

So, I was at work at the Golden Arches working the back window at open. This customer pulls up to my window and he say, “Mushy mushy. That means hello in Japanese.”

I had taken Japanese from kindergarten all the way through 12th grade, so I informed him moshi moshi was used to answer the phone and said good morning to him in Japanese. Luckily, this customer doesn’t have a stick up his ass and ended up laughing and impressed.

Just funny how it happens that the one person who speaks decent Japanese in our store was there for this exact moment.

No pie for your spawn!

This happened several years ago, when I was chaperoning a young man with Autistic Spectrum Disorder (let’s call him S) to and from speech therapy. S was using a PECS book for communication. (For those unfamiliar, PECS stands for Picture Exchange Communication System, and the PECS book is a binder full of pictorial representations of objects, persons, actions, etc., attached by a self-adhesive hook-and-loop fasteners, which are used to build a sentence on a detachable sentence strip. User builds a simple sentence -a request or a statement - and hands it to a communication partner. These day PECS books have been replaced by digital devices - like I mentioned this was a wile back.) It became a custom of ours to stop at the Golden Arches for a meal after the therapy. The place was quite busy, and as we waited in line, we used the time to for S to prepare a sentence strip with his order.

Enter a mother of 5, with her brood in tow. Woman with a “can-I-speak-to-the-manager” haircut begun making loud remarks about how slow the service was (it was not, by the way, there was just a lot of customers in store and a drive-through line was wrapped around the building). Her eldest kid, a girl of about 10-11, whined in turns about the wait, and about wanting an apple pie. When it was our turn to order, S gave his sentence strip to the cashier who read it back and entered it into register. And as all of this was taking place, I heard the “R” word from the whiny girl. Something to the likes of “Ugh! That retarded kid is taking soooooo long to order!”. I saw red. I looked at the mother, and she did nothing, did not say anything to her kid, did not look ashamed in the slightest. Nothing! I kept staring, but she was just avoiding looking at me. I guess in her mind, there’s nothing wrong with her kid calling someone with disability a retard.

So, I did, what any reasonable person would do, I purchased 23 apple pies. Why 23, you ask? Because that’s all they had available. If the spawn of hers wanted an apple pie, she’d have to wait for a fresh batch. S and I got seated in a booth with a good view of the registers, and oh joy, it turned out the restaurant did not have any more apple pies. Mother was fuming, and I felt bad for the staff, but the manager handled it quickly with a coupon offer, and her kids were hungry and whiny, so she gave up the fight, and they all went to seat down. They were shooting me angry looks from across the restaurant, to which I responded with a wide smile, because the faze 2 of my petty revenge had just occurred to me. After our meal, I had S build a sentence on his sentence strip that asked “Do you want apple pie?” (Not the most polite way to ask, but PECS book had its limitations) and we made our way from table to table asking it to diners and handing out pies, as I explained about S’ condition and this being a good exercise in communication and social interactions for him. Everyone was responding kindly, smiling and high-fiving, overall very nice experience for S. When we were down to the last pie, I decided to keep for myself, because there was only our favorite family of 6 left, and heavens know, they were not getting a crumb. As we walked past, the mother went “Excuse me, my daughter would like a pie”. The audacity! So I got the box out the bag, looked the woman square in the eyes and said “I know”. Then I opened it, took a big bite, went “mmmmm”, and we walked out of the place. Very petty, but very, very satisfying.

Caspar van Wittel - Rome: View of the Arch of Titus

1710s

oil on canvas

Private collection

lance: once we were on a family trip and we’d been in the car for a long time. we were all getting antsy. then we saw a mcdonald’s in the distance. we saw the golden arches. and we got so excited, we started chanting “mcdonald’s! mcdonald’s! mcdonald’s!” shiro pulled into the drive-thru and we all started cheering. then he ordered one small black coffee for himself and kept driving

McVengeance.

(warning: long story)

Strictly speaking, I was not the one who undertook the revenge here. But I did play a small part, and it was one of the most rewarding things I have ever experienced in my entire life. It was seriously like something out of a movie.

Back in my college days, I slaved away flipping burgers under the good ol’ golden arches to help pay for my tuition. It wasn’t a terrible job, all of my co-workers were great people… well, almost all my co-workers. There were two, let’s call them Bryan Bully and Jerry Jerk, who were workplace bullies.

Both these goons had been at the same place for several years, and thus felt like they had the right to taunt and outright sabotage new crew members. The rest of us had been around long enough to push back and tell these guys to f*ck off, so they left us alone. We did what we could to protect newbies that fell under Bryan and Jerry’s wrath, but we couldn’t always be there for them.

Things that the bullies did to new hires included, but is not limited to:

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