I am so weak for fairy tale AUs. Seriously. If anyone writes any of these out, or something similar, please hmu.
Zen - Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
The dwarves’ names are Cutie, Busy, Money, Quirky, Crazy, Photography and Vanderwood
He’s too beautiful to live.
A lovely princess kisses him and awakens him from his extreme narcissism. Now he has Empathy™
Yoosung - Cinderella
Cannot go to the LOLOL until his chores are done
Runs out of the chatroom as midnight strikes because his mother is going to check on him oh no
Leaves his glasses prescription behind for the princess to use to find him
This actually makes sense because one eye has no prescription and he’s almost blind in the other eye; that’s unique. Unlike Cinderella where it’s like how does nobody have the same size feet as her this is ridiculous
Jaehee - The Ugly Duckling
Grew up being called unwanted
As an adult, the duckling figured all the voices were right
Then a lovely swan comes by and the duckling is humbled by this Strong Independant Lady
The swan makes the duckling look in the mirror and realize that she is a Strong Independant Lady
And then the duckling’s boss crashes his car.
Jumin - The Emperor’s New Clothes
The young emperor walked about and was all, “Yo, my love Elizabeth the Third is 10/10”
And the people were like, “She totally is a 10/10.”
And then this one princess was like, “Bro, that’s a cat.”
And then the emperor was like, “Dang, you are right.”
And then he kidnapped the princess and they lived happily ever after.
Seven - Pinocchio
“I am naught but a robot. I cannot be a Real Boy.”
“O no i caught the feelings.”
A road trip is involved
Now he is a Real Boy. Hooray.
Saeran - Beauty and the Beast
Stockholm Syndrome at its finest
He kidnaps a girl because she’s super cute
They end up falling for each other because she’s awesome and he just wants to be understood and loved
With the drugs out of his system, he realizes the furniture never sang and danced for him. (yes, I went there.)
V - Rapunzel
Wanted to rescue the princess
The princess did not take well to being rescued
She pushed him out the window and his eyes were scratched by thorns; now he is blind
If only the princess had continued her therapy.
Don’t skip out on your therapy, kids.
Vanderwood - Rumpelstiltskin
Call upon them and they will clean your house for you in exchange for quality hacking or the life of your twin brother
Cannot spin straw into gold, but can drive Seven to tears #closeenough
“One for sorrow, two for joy, three for a girl and four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told.” (Some old, british children’s rhyme about magpies that has been stuck in my mind for years.)
I saw a lot of Henry for inktober and jumped on the train- but instead of the usual crows and ravens, I decided to give some attention to a bird that gets lot less appreciation than its older brothers of the ravens- the magpie!
So, well, Henry is trying to teach his little friend how to sing, but even though crows, ravens and magpies belong to the group of singing birds, which contains robins, blue tits and blackbirds too, they are not really the most talented singers.
“One crow for sorrow, Two
crows for joy, Three
crows for a girl, Four
crows for a boy, Five
crows for silver, Six
crows for gold, Seven
crows for a secret, Never to be told. Eight
crows for a wish, Nine
crows for a kiss, Ten
crows for a bird, You must not miss.”
The rhyme has its origins in superstitions connected with magpies, considered a bird of ill omen in some cultures, and in Britain, at least as far back as the early sixteenth century.
On occasion, jackdaws, crows, and other Corvidae are associated with the rhyme also.
***Please note some of these directly contradict one another, as is the way of folklore and superstition.***
Denotes or causes good luck…
Getting pooped on by a bird.
Finding a horseshoe.
Finding a four-leaf clover.
Treading in cowpat.
Wearing clothes inside-out, but you can’t change it until you would normally remove the item, or the good luck is nullified.
Finding a cricket in the house.
Meeting a black cat, especially one you know. (Only path-crossing black cats cause bad luck.)
Touching wood, especially to protect good fortune that has been mentioned from being ruined. For example, touching wood whilst/after saying “The whole family is healthy,” or “If he gets the job”.
Nailing a horseshoe above the door, though the points must face up or the luck will “run out”.
Seeing three butterflies together.
Seeing a ladybird. The richer the red and greater number of spots, the better the luck.
Carrying an acorn.
Wearing clothes back-to-front.
Meeting a herd of cows on the road.
Pictures of elephants that face the door.
Leaving an open pair of scissors beneath a pillow (please be careful).
Seeing a hearse.
Catching falling autumn leaves.
Meeting a chimney sweep by chance.
Saying “white rabbit” 3 times as your first words of the month.
An itchy right eye.
Keeping clover in the house.
Breaking a glass or dish.
A frog entering the house.
Lifting your feet whilst driving over railway lines.
Sneezing at the same time as someone else.
Wearing new clothes on Easter.
A black cat walking towards you.
“Find a penny that lays heads up, all day long you’ll have good luck.”
Using a new broom to sweep into the house before you do anything else with it, will also sweep luck in.
If the first butterfly you see in the year is white, the whole year will be lucky.
Denotes or causes bad luck…
Friday the 13th.
A black cat crossing your path.
Opening an umbrella indoors.
Rocking an empty rocking chair.
Peacock feathers indoors.
Walking under a ladder. Reversing back through it undoes the bad luck.
Empty bottles on the table.
Putting new shoes on the table.
Spilling salt. Throw a pinch over the left shoulder to dispel this bad luck.
Breaking a mirror gets seven years. To dispel it bury the pieces outside, or run them under a stream.
An itchy left eye.
Killing a ladybird.
A single jackdaw perching on a house.
Seeing a hearse, hold your collar until you see a 4 legged animal to undo the bad luck.
Entering a building left foot first.
A black cat walking away from you.
Passing someone on the stairs.
Starting a task on a Friday you can’t finish by the end of the week.
Getting out of bed on a different side than the one you got in on will make you unlucky until you return to bed the next evening.
Lighting three cigarettes with the same match.
If you have been given a container of food (plate, tub etc) it must not be returned home without some new food in it.
Patching clothes whilst wearing them.
If you borrow salt, it should be paid back with sugar, or bad luck will follow you.
Bees should always be told before they are moved, not doing so may cause bad luck.
New money containers, like wallets or purses, that are given as gifts should always have a little money in when they’re given. A penny is traditional. Not doing so would give both giver and recipient bad luck.
Ward off evil or bad luck by…
Spinning seven times in a circle, clockwise.
Touching wood, as above.
Spitting three times over your shoulder. Some people just say “spit-spit-spit”.
To get a wish…
Blow out all birthday candles with the first attempted breath.
Hold your breath all the way through a tunnel.
Catch a clock at 11:11.
Kiss a necklace clasp that has fallen round to the front before moving it back to its proper place.
See a chimney sweep, but you must have met by chance. Arranged encounters are cheating!
Make it in a bed that has never been slept in.
Two people wrap their little fingers around opposite ends of a wishbone. Each should silently wish, and pull it apart; whoever gets the larger piece should get their wish.
Swallow a whole chicken heart.
The first robin you see in spring can be wished on, but you must finish the wish before the robin flies away.
Burn onions whilst you wish.
Do it on a shooting star: “Star light, star bright, First star I see tonight, I wish I may, I wish I might, Have the wish I wish tonight.”
Sneeze, but only once!
Death and The Dead
Crows carry the souls of the dead. If one perches near you, take the chance to say goodbye to someone who came before.
Out of respect, hold your breath if you are passing through a graveyard.
Health and Wellness.
Don’t turn a new loaf upside down after cutting the first slice, someone in the house will fall ill.
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”
Carrying an acorn will ensure longevity.
If you are interrupted making the bed, all sleeps between those sheets will be restless.
“If you wish to live and thrive, let the spider run alive.”
Cross yourself if an ambulance passes you, saying ‘God between harm and me and mine’ to protect yourselves and your family.
Dreams and Nightmares
A horseshoe in the bedroom keeps away nightmare.
If one has a realistic dream, it will come true if mentioned before breakfast. Use this as you will.
Share a pillow with a dog and you will have the same dreams.
Marriage and Romance
If you start making a bedspread or quilt, you will not find a successful romantic relationship until it is finished.
Having your feet sept with a broom will prevent you from ever marrying.
Sewing a swans feather into a husbands pillow ensures fidelity.
A single woman who sits with the corner of the table pointing at her will never marry.
A bride who goes to the altar with salt in their pocket will always be happy.
If you don’t sweep the house properly, you will have a bald husband.
Friends and Conversations
Don’t say goodbye to a friend on a bridge, or you will not see each other again.
Running into a spider’s web means you’ll meet a new friend.
Crossing knives or spilt pepper causes arguments.
“Stir with a knife, stir up strife.”
If walking as a pair, splitting to walk around opposite sides of a pole will cause an argument, unless you both say “bread and butter” afterwards.
If your ear itches or burns, it means someone is talking about you.
Biting your tongue when eating means you’ve recently lied.
If a knife is given as a gift, it will sever the relationship between giver and recipient. To prevent this, the knife can be bought with any small coin. You can even give the person the money to give back to you!
Money and Material Things
Itchy right palms predicts coming money, whereas itching on the left palm suggests you’ll lose some.
Ants building a nest near your door means financial security is in our future.
Seeing a spider spinning a web means you will get new clothes soon.
A bee landing on the hand fortells coming money.
Several jackdaws landing on a house means money is coming.
A small spider dropping onto you means your finances will improve.
Keeping black-eyed peas and change in your pocket on New Years Day will mean all your needs will be met during the coming year.
Wearing clothes inside out means you will get beaten up, it’s viewed as easiest to let a friend lightly hit you to see the prediction as met. However, if the friend who swats you is younger than you, they must then pull on your shirt or skirt 3 times, or you will never marry.
House and Home
Bringing an old broom to a new home will bring any strife and all limitations of the old home with you. Always throw them out and buy a new one.
Growing ivy on a house or placing salt on the doorstep prevents evil from entering it.
If you break a glass or dish, you will inevitably break a second by the end of the day. It’s often seen as best to break something small or unimportant to fulfil the superstition.
Knitting one of your own hairs into a project binds the recipient to you.
Sewing left unfinished on New Year’s will stay that way all year.
An unfinished project brings bad luck to the intended recipient.
When making items in pairs (like socks or gloves) the second must be started immediately after the first is finished.
If you break a needle making a garment, you will live to wear the garment out.
If you pause a project during the first step, like the cast-on row of knitting, you will never be able to finish it.
Messages, Travel and Visitors
Itches on the sole of the foot mean a journey approaches.
A bee, hen or rooster entering the home is a sign there’ll be a visitor.
A bird flying into the house means an important message is coming.
To prevent an unwelcome guest from returning, immediately after they leave sweep the room, sweeping everything out of the door.
Seeing a spider run down a web in the afternoon means you’ll take a trip.
Knowledge and Tests
If you find a spider in your home, collect and carefully release it, you may ask it one question. Expect an answer to come in a week.
If you use the same pencil to study and take the test, the pencil will remember the answers.
Clover will protect a person from faeries.
Keeping iron or silver on your person will stop you being taken by the faeries.
A lone tree in the middle of a field is a faery tree. You should bow to show respect to the tree and the Folk, especially if you wish to shelter beneath it.
If you run anti-clockwise around a church 3 times, you will be taken by the Folk.
As per the children’s rhyme, magpies indicate certain things coming into the life. “One for sorrow, Two for joy, Three for a girl, Four for a boy, Five for silver, Six for gold, Seven for a secret, never to be told. Eight for a wish, Nine for a kiss, Ten for a bird you must not miss.” This tune does have variations.
Following on from the above, there are several ways to nullify the sorrow that lone magpies predict: Salute them, doff your hat, blow a kiss, say “Hello Mr Magpie, how’s your wife?/how’s the wife and kids?”, “Hurry, run away and find your mate, Mr Magpie.”
Crows also have a counting rhyme, “One’s bad, Two’s luck, Three’s health, Four’s wealth, Five’s sickness, Six is death.”
Sneezing also indicates things; “Once for a wish, Twice for a kiss, Thrice for a letter, Four for something better.”
The day you find the fist flower of Spring also has meaning! “Monday means good fortune, Tuesday means greatest attempts will be successful, Wednesday means marriage, Thursday means warning of small profits, Friday means wealth, Saturday means misfortune, Sunday means excellent luck for weeks.”
A bee landing on the head means the person will rise to greatness.
Dropping a comb whilst using it indicates future disappointment.
13 should never dine together, or the first to rise will be the first to die.