going-to-start-doing-things-for-myself

noro-stole  asked:

I really want to see you guys for a 4th time when ya come down to LA (and maybe 5th in Santa Ana) in September, but have no one to go with and just thinking about going alone gives me anxiety. Any advice on how to convince myself to go alone (and enjoy myself)?

going to shows with people is hard, let alone going alone! make sure that you’re in the right headspace to do it, last thing you want is to work up the energy to get to a gig and have to head home cause you’re anxious because it only makes you feel worse. i hope people at our shows are warm and welcoming but i started going to shows alot alone recently and it rules because you don’t feel responsible for anyone else’s enjoyment, you just do it at your own pace

Promise to myself: this time next year…I’m going to visit some place beautiful.  I love to travel, but I’ve never been anywhere where I can see the things and places that I really want to see.  I haven’t made up my mind yet – but I’m thinking Arizona, because I really want to see the Grand Canyon.  It’s just something that I find so beautiful.  Then I want to see Niagara Falls or maybe some place where I’ll get to swim with Dolphins. Maybe see the sun rise.

I’m doing really well.

Thing is, it turns out that if you’re no longer exhausting all of your resources and are allowed to do Extra Sleep things* and eat properly and stuff?  It REALLY confuses your body and your brain.

*And have been accustomed to taking truly insane amounts of caffeine pills to help shore up the lack of sleep.  Still working on doing things like tea instead, to get myself down to Reasonable Caffeine Levels with minimal caffeine withdrawal headaches.

And if you’re accustomed to having negative spoons (and getting yelled at over it and doing things ANYWAY even if you feel like you are breaking) and then you’re starting to level out a bit?  You’re going to feel a bit twitchy when you actually feel like you have a little energy and like “Maybe I should clean this random thing”.

When REALLY, I need to rest more and take it slower because my reserves are going to need time to replenish.  (But gah, twitchy.)

Depression and anxiety have less power in the face of Ella (who seriously needs a bath and clippers tomorrow - it is too hot out for a lil’ black doggy).  Since that’s sort of why I have her. Service doggy in training.  Snuggles are GOOD.  I’ve been stressing enough about her - her UTI and the general training and housebreaking (which she’s doing really well with, but the UTI was not helping) and “No, small humans, she is not going to hurt you, she is PLAYING.  She thinks you are also puppies and when you shriek about it she thinks you’re having fun.” - that I forgot “Wait, doggy is for ME to snuggle and feel better, too.”.   She is very good at that.  A+++ licking and cuddles, would cuddle again.

And I read the last three of Seanan McGuire’s October Daye books!  Which I haven’t had the combination of time and focus to read because of the way my life was.

The only thing is that NOW I *REALLY* want the next one, Once Broken Faith, to come out RIGHT NOW instead of waiting for September.  DAMN YOU, AWESOME AUTHORS! *shakes fist*

But I’m also with really good people who are good at listening when I say that something doesn’t feel right - and good at responding with things like “Those feelings are normal with the situation you were in.  And when was the last time you ate something?” (which, yes, was a problem today - I’m also much more accustomed to grabbing whatever’s fastest to get and going back in my room) and repeating that, you know, I live here and there is food and I’m not going to get yelled at for eating something specific.

Oh, and salmon patties are delicious.

01. Baby

So, I’m gonna mix things up a bit - I wasn’t sure if I was going to really start writing and posting stuff here or not, but I can’t stop myself really……. so I found a list of 100 words and decided I will use these as prompts for “drabbles” to write about mostly J-Hope of BTS and definitely Suga, and who knows who else, whatever strikes my fancy.  So if you read stuff, I hope you enjoy it!  Please drop me comments, because they’ll encourage me to write more and post it here! - Tabby

———————————————————————-

You remember hearing the tiny cries, high and tinny through the monitor, and then a pair of lips gently on your ear, murmuring, “I got it,” before you had slipped back into blissful sleep.  But it’s only moments later that you’re jerking back awake, staring with confusion around your bedroom.  The empty place at your side reveals that your doting husband must have taken on getting the baby back to sleep when she cried earlier, but you wonder if you should be concerned that he hasn’t returned.

Tiptoeing your way down the hallway, you follow the dim glow of a Hello Kitty nightlight to the half opened door of your newborn daughter’s nursery and already from the hall you can hear Hoseok mumbling to her.

When at last you can peek in through the doorway, you find him as expected, cradling the tiny girl against his chest, her chubby face hidden near his collarbone.  His nose rests lightly on top of her head, and you can vaguely see his lips moving as he continues to lull her back to sleep.  His hips sway back and forth in time to whatever he’s singing to your daughter.

It’s not until you murmur, “Hoseok?” that he notices you.

“Mm?” he responds, just briefly in between the lyrics he’s reciting.

“Is that - ” you can barely keep your voice down, stifling incredulous giggles that threaten to bubble up out of you, “Are you rapping Cypher part three to our baby??”

His voice dies in his throat so abruptly that the baby squirms against him, before sensing enough comfort in his gentle arms that she settles back into sleep without so much as a whine.  If it weren’t dark, you’re sure you could see scarlet marring his cheeks.  "Uh…“

"Nevermind,” you laugh as quietly as you can, “As long as she likes it.” In a few quiet strides, you meet Hoseok in the middle of the nursery, and then you gently kiss them both, Hoseok on the nose and your little girl on the top of her feathery light hair.  

Hoseok grins, bright and cheerful, despite how tired he must be, and nods his head, “She loves it.”

Your lips turn up into a smile that threatens to split your whole face, and you can’t help kissing him again.  "She loves you,“ you remind him, "And I do too.”

*came up with no title*

May I be completely honest? Anon-chan had me thinking alot more than I should’ve, but I’ll just state things as they are…

Yeah, it is fucking sad how my activity has dropped from what it used to be. I’ve been sad about that too, all this time. It’s just that with everything that’s been going on lately in my life, roleplaying and writing your requests have become a mental, sometimes even a physical burden for me, more or less. I do admit; I sometimes force myself to do them against my will. Why do I do that? Simple… to keep you guys happy. To make sure that you don’t start completely hating me for failing what I’ve said I’ll do for you guys. Yeah, it’s my personal blog. That’s the first priority, but I do enjoy answering your asks as a side task as well. Lately, that’s just been incredibly difficult. But I still force myself with willpower and just do them, cause I don’t want to disappoint you. And I don’t want to give in to myself either.

In fact, I am not in the mood of answering any asks right now. But I’ll be doing that shortly anyway. I promised that I’d kick my own ass and ignore my apathy. There are just some things you gotta do, whether you like it or not… hundreds of satisfied people are better than one.

There was a reason why I split up with him. And there was a reason why I’m at this point in my life where I feel like I have so much musical freedom, and I don’t have to explain myself to anybody… It was more of a thing where I was in awe. I was at that point in my relationship where I felt he could do no wrong. I thought he had my back and that he’d never steer me wrong. But then ‘I Will Never Let You Down’ came out, and everything started to go a bit weird. I don’t know if it was because business was mixed with personal or what.
—  Rita Ora on her breakup with Calvin Harris in the June 2015 Marie Claire cover story.
8

24 July 2016

I decided to post this because I finally had time to sort out some things I bought from Japan and because I have nothing going on lately. I remember I also posted a similar thing last year, before I started med school. Anyway, as I said, Japan is the land of cheap and pretty stationery things!!! Here’s what I bought from the trip:

  1. Pens, colored pens and highlighters - because I can’t stop myself from hoarding and these are my guilty pleasures. I think I have enough pens to last a lifetime (I hate and love myself because of it). I bought all of them from Tokyu Hands.
  2. Muji dual-colored pens and a to-do list sticky note - I bought these from a Muji branch that has four floors! They even have a cafe restaurant on the first one.
  3. Cute origami paper and small paper envelopes - they were so cute I couldn’t resist (also because one of them has a panda-print hehehe). I bought these from Daiso. They sell stuff a lot cheaper than their branches in my country.
  4. Page marker dispenser - one of my favorite finds! The sticky markers are pre-cut so it’s very easy to use. I was so sure of liking it so much that I even bought a refill.
  5. Blank cards - because I like making cards as reviewers. I think I’ll have some use for them in the near future.
  6. Lucky charm - I bought this from a Buddhist temple in Nara. The sign mentioned “Charm for Success in Studies”. I don’t usually believe in lucky charms (but I do have a pencil I consider lucky and I only use that pencil for my exams) but hey, it doesn’t hurt to have one hehehe.
  7. Panda pouch - this was on sale from Forever 21 hehehe. I bought it because I love anything panda-related.
5 Ways To Make Yourself Productive On Your Free Time

I don’t know about you but I hate spending my day without doing something productive. I’ve been jobless for a few months after going back home from the lovely London and whilst spending time with family and friends and going on movie marathons sound great, it does get too sedentary for me.

I dance, practise yoga and walk around the city however I can never really keep myself away from learning new things. I guess I’m a bit of a geek like that– I always need to learn something new every single day.

Any ideas on being productive? Tweet me.

Before I start rambling on about how I go on about my daily life at the moment, let me share with you 5 helpful websites and apps to keep yourself productive in your free time:

1. Hootsuite Academy

This is a really helpful online platform for learning the ropes on Social Media Marketing. Hootsuite Academy is a free on-demand courseware on the fundamentals of social media marketing for today’s leading professionals. What’s fantastic about this is that it’s up-to-date, relevant and very useful. Although I did take some marketing module back in university, there wasn’t any focus on digital marketing. After moving to London and working as an intern with a food start up, I realised how much I still don’t know about using social media for business! Being a social media geek that I am, it wasn’t hard to get used to the business aspect of the platforms but once I started self-studying about it (first, I had a bit of refresher with Alison’s Digital Marketing course then I went ahead with Hootsuite), I acquired a clearer and more precise structure of the marketing function. I also learned more about strategies and tips that would prove to be very useful in my next job.

Hootsuite recently released a Platform Training program which is a free training on the features and functionality of the Hootsuite dashboard. This is the next one on my list!

Both courses are available for free although you may want to avail of one of Hootsuite’s Social Media Marketing Certifications to add more punch to your CV. It also comes with a range of benefits that are worth checking out. (As much as I’d love to get this now, I’m still saving up for it. The important thing is that I’ve learned a lot from the courses, right?! Although it would reaaally be useful to have it..)

2. Pocket App

Gone are the days of an iPhone Photo album with tons of screenshots of articles that I swear to read later in the day. With the Pocket app, I am able to continuously browse through Twitter, blogs and a whole lot of other apps whilst I pin articles to read. It’s accessible on a desktop and you can download the browser extension for a more efficient use! I use this app everyday as it saves articles for browsing online and offline–perfect for when I need something to read while on public transportation.

This app is also very handy in keeping up to date with the latest articles from the influencer blogs and websites that I use for studying social media marketing. I set a specific time of the day where I browse through my Twitter feed and save articles. Here are my top Twitter picks for keeping myself in the loop on all things social media marketing:

There are a few other Twitter lists that I follow– I recommend subscribing to lists or creating one of your own for easier browsing and pinning!

3. Grokker

My first ever job (apart from my food business!) was working for a yoga ashram back in the Philippines and let me tell you, it was life changing. The job wasn’t particularly unique however I was surrounded with people who had a proper interest in health, wellness and nutrition that I acquired the same interests as well! Not to mention that I also got to take free yoga classes which is always amazing :) Since then, I have tried incorporating yoga and meditation to my daily routine. I am no guru but I have, since then, mastered 2 yoga sequences that I practise often. 

Enter Grokker, a wellness website that offers free and premium fitness, cooking and yoga video classes. There are tons of videos to choose from depending on the length of practise, equipment needed and type of yoga that you want to do. I followed a lot of stretching and core strengthening exercises when I was back in England, most especially when I was training for an audition. Once I get a bit more settled and have enough private space for myself, I’m definitely going back to using Grokker.

For dancers, one of my favourite blogs would be Back On Pointe. I love how she promotes mental, physical and emotional health. She also posts workout and workout challenges focusing on certain parts of your body. What’s fantastic though is she posts monthly workout challenge calendars like this. It’s very easy to follow and she offers a lot of exercise options.

4. TED Talk

I confess that I’m an absolute geek. I love trivia and just simply learning about new things–mostly anything under the sun. TED is a fantastic platform to listen, watch and read about thousand of ideas from people all over the world. These talks are curated by the best people in their specific industries may it be in philosophy, science, mathematics, environment, entertainment, etc. you name it. Be prepared to get educated, motivated, inspired and entertained. I don’t think I have seen more than a hundred talks as of yet but here are 5 TED Talks that are worth watching:

What does it mean to be a citizen of the world?
A solution to building a future of inventors
Want to be happy? Be grateful
The surprising habits of original thinkers
Dare to disagree

5. FutureLearn, Alison, Code Academy

Last but not the least, the internet is swarmed with free information and online courses that I would feel bad for not learning new things on my own! When I decided to focus on Social Media Marketing, I started by a refresher on Marketing and the Alison was a good way to brush up on it. Like many other MOOC, there are courses offered in different categories and you can learn it for free. If you want to take it a notch higher and boast your new education in your CV, you may get a certification, too. Another MOOC website worth checking out is the Open University.

Just a few hours ago I’ve signed up for a Social Media Analytics course taught by professors from the Queensland University of Technology and the Social Enterprise: Business Of Doing Good course from the Middlesex University Business School, both of which are under FutureLearn and I am beyond excited to start my course tomorrow!

Another one on my list is to revisit and actually get my hands on programming again. CodeAcademy looks really promising, it’s another one for my to do list–perhaps by next month! Photography, design, copywriting and programming skills gives a marketer an edge so I’m trying to dive onto it one at a time.

One thing I’ve learnt about being unemployed is that instead of feeling miserable, I should rather think of it as a time to leverage and empower myself even more. It’s the perfect time to get better at a skill that would be really useful for your future job or, simply the perfect opportunity to develop your personal interests even more.

In search for the dream job like I do? Get active on LinkedIn, build up your resume and check out The Muse for career advice.

Have tips on being productive or perhaps a job posting that you’d like to share? Tweet me.

Jason’s Top Surgery Go Fund Me

gofund.me/2gfjz3g

My name is Jason; I am a 20 year old transgender man currently in my junior year of college. I am starting to move towards my top surgery, a surgery to reshape my chest so it will appear more masculine. This surgery will eliminate so much my personal dysphoria, improve my confidence, and just plain allow me to live my life as a happier and more authentic version of myself. So this is a surgery and surgery is stupid expensive, I am going to do everything I can in this world to raise as much of the money myself but I am aware enough of the amount that I can’t do this by myself. Literally any amount even if it’s the lose change from your jeans would mean the absolute world to me. I don’t want to make it look like I’m begging for money here because that isn’t what this is about, I’ve just heard of my peers having good luck funding things such as their education or medical expenses through go fund me and I thought I would give it a try. This is absolutely optional, please do not feel obligated to donate by any means but like I said any amount is appreciated.

Here’s a link to my Go Fund Me!! I’m trying to raise money for my top surgery and would greatly appreciate any help I could get. I am going to do the best to raise as much of the money I can myself but I know I’ll need help. I’m reaching out to the trans community of tumblr, as well as any ally or just kind soul willing to help or at least share this post. Thank you so much for reading <3


If you can’t contribute please share this post

[..]
-And ultimately the story gave you great stuff to do.

-Absolutely. A lot of things were baked into the storyline from the first two seasons that dictated Bellamy’s trajectory this year. Season 2 Bellamy spent a lot of time being the action man and doing the right thing - I think he was just trying to redeem himself for throwing away the radio and killing all those kids’ parents in Season 1. That guilt made him go, “OK, I’m just going to sacrifice myself and go into Mount Weather and try to do everything right.” Then Pike came along this year with philosophy that was similar to how Bellamy felt about the Grounders in the beginning. I think it was tricky for the audience to get on board that train, but as these episodes went along, they started to come back around. I don’t mind people hating my character. They hated him in Season 1! [laughs]

- Bob Morley about his character Bellamy Blake / GroundersSource

anonymous asked:

“There was a reason why I split up with him. And there was a reason why I’m at this point in my life where I feel like I have so much musical freedom, and I don’t have to explain myself to anybody… It was more of a thing where I was in awe. I was at that point in my relationship where I felt he could do no wrong. I thought he had my back and that he’d never steer me wrong. But then “I Will Never Let You Down” came out, and everything started to go a bit weird. 1/2

I don’t know if it was because business was mixed with personal or what.” Rita Ora on her break up with Calvin Harris. Seems somewhat familiar huh 2/2
——————–
☁️🌥⛅️🌤☀️

The Story Behind My Lack of Faith and My Next Tattoo

A few days ago I posted that I was getting tattooed on Saturday. This is what I’m going to get tattooed:

I designed this, I basically wrote Car Radio’s lyrics on the Clique’s logo’s sides. 

And there’s a reason why I chose that phrase. Besides being comforting and somehow empowering, that line sounds so nice to my ears ever since the summer started.

A month ago I graduated and I was finally free. I knew I had a month of holidays before starting college, reason why I told myself to fully enjoy it. I was prepared to do many things, even though I didn’t have much money, I didn’t really care, I was determined to find a way to enjoy my summer. 

My first weeks of summer consisted of staying home, binge watching things on Netflix. I was genuinely enjoying my holidays, just sitting on my living room, watching series on Netflix. But it was then when everything started going down.

Not going out much mean I’d spend more time with my mum. I’ve always thought that my mum and I don’t hang along precisely well, but we don’t hate each other. God, that was about to change. 

She began telling me all sorts of mean stuff. Every day I would hear a different complaint about me. She criticised every inch of my self. Stuff like “You dress horribly” “You always break everything” “You’re never willing to help me” “You have such a weird point of view” “You behave/dress like lower classes” “Why do you have such horrible taste” “You’re music is too loud and annoying” “You look fat” etc. 

Every day she found a complete new thing about me to complain. She always have. But it was different when I went to school and I just ignored her because I had homework, or I could complain to my friends the next day. Besides, I spent less time at home. 

The first few days it was easy to ignore her, but as the holidays went by, each day became lightly harder and harder to ignore her. Every day, after she yelled at me, her voice would echo, bringing back spoken words from yesterday. My head felt like a blender with all sorts of negative stuff going around in my head. I started listening to her, and believing her. 

I felt sad, I felt useless, I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw anymore. I looked fat, I looked ugly, everything I did or said was wrong, I was such a waste of human life. I began wondering if my mother had ever felt proud of me. Looking at myself in the mirror was like reading a list with a thousand reasons why she wouldn’t. I began hating myself like I did back in middle school.

I began picking up awful habits I once had. I would only eat once a day, I would stay up until midnight, whining about my life. I would be rude to myself. I would call me awful things. I began questioning what had I done wrong in life. I would cry almost every day. 

Until one day wasn’t having any of it. One day, as always, my mum began attacking me without a reason. However, this reason was smaller that the many other awful things she told me. But one sentence was enough to make me explode. I left the kitchen and went to my laptop. 

I began writing my feelings. I wrote everything that was bothering me. It soon was an long letter to no one. Writing and remembering everything made me cry my heart out. I let everything out, my whole body ached more and more, but it had to be done. Once I finished writing the letter, most of the pain went away. 

However, as I wrote the letter, my mum saw me crying and told me: “You’re exaggerating, what I told you is no reason to cry” which was true, but I was crying because it wasn’t just her critics what were stabbing me, it was also all the wounds she had caused, as well as my anxiety telling me awful stuff, burring me in a deep hole. But I was done with her shit, so I yelled at her, telling her that all the holidays  the only thing she’s done is make me feel like shit. Her answer was just a simple “Fine, I’m never telling you anything again” and went to her room. Her reaction made me so angry, her lack of interest and the arrogance with which she said it. 

I never felt so mad at her in my life. And I never felt so afraid being in my house. Every time she went to the same room as I was, I felt scared. I would try my best to avoid all sort of contact with her, afraid that she would explode and yell at me. Every night I cried, wishing for some peace.

After she left, I finished writing my letter and put on my headphones and began listening to music. Car Radio began playing. I stopped everything I was doing and listened to Car Radio, as the pain began soothing away. By the time Tyler sand “I’m forced to deal with what I feel, there’s no distraction to mask what it’s real” I began crying once again. 

The lines “Peace will win, and fear will lose” and “And I will try with every rhyme to come across like I’m dying to let you know you need to try to think” now meant something completely different to me. 

I realised I could no longer sit in the dark and cry. There was no point in crying. It was then that I designed my tattoo and get it done on my left leg. Car Radio helped me stand up again, and start walking, looking for the peace I’m always crying about and I don’t have.  

I’m getting the Clique’s logo tattooed because Twenty One Pilots became a big part of my life a few months ago. I found them in the right time. I was going through some shit and I found a shelter in their music, relating to most of their lyrics and making me realise that I’m not alone, as I thought. 

The Clique began feeling like home, and Car Radio was the white flag I was looking for. Tyler and Josh helped me stand up with their music, and seeing those words on my skin, push me to keep walking. 

My Muse tattoo tells me that everything will be fine, and the Twenty One Pilots’ tattoo will tell me to keep moving. I owe those two bands, they’ve done so much for me. 

The tattoo will be a good reminder of the hard times. In hard times it will force me to keep moving. And in the good times, it will make me look back and make me remember that in the end things do get better.

anonymous asked:

Do you know what's a good thing to watch to help me learn Korean? I'm trying to teach myself and it's SO HARD so I thought watching some tv shows could help

Yes, I’ve heard that watching tv shows do help.
I’ve also heard that http://talktomeinkorean.com and http://www.howtostudykorean.com are good too. So maybe slowly starting from one of these can help you even better as there are levels. It’ll be hard learning a new language so you’ll have to be patient, but eventually going into it you’ll start becoming better:)
I don’t know how to read or speak Korean but hopefully these suggestions will help.

anonymous asked:

So last year I found out a guy had the biggest crush on me. He eventually confessed to me and we had a couple "dates" but I hardly knew him and I just wasn't in the mindset for it as i was going through some rough times... however, I'm finally at a better place with myself and started to realize what an amazing person he is and what a major chance i lost.. we kept a bit in touch but don't really talk anymore and he actually has a girlfriend now... the thing is, should I confess to him anyway?

no. people aren’t toys that you can just decide to play with when it’s convenient for you. he’s in a relationship now and you need to respect that.

what do you expect to gain by telling him? either you expect it to do nothing - in which case there’s no point in confessing, or you expect it to do something - in which case you’re knowingly trying to ruin a relationship that you have no business in and that’d be super fucked up.

if he and his current girlfriend break up then you have every right to tell him how you feel, but right now you need to respect his and his girlfriend’s boundaries, acknowledge that he’s happy with someone else, and understand that feeling like you “lost your chance” does not justify any act of yours meant to end the relationship he’s in. if you truly cared about him, you’d be happy that he’s happy.

Fire Wall

Y/N has just inherited her powers, ripping her from her life and throwing her into a new one she doesn’t know she want to be in… but maybe her new friend can help.

Requested: Yes: 5. WITH PETER MAXIMOFF PLEASE  “What are you doing in my room?”)

Warnings: Fluff, Swearing, New stuff. 

New stuff: Going to start writing in first person and writing a description before the stories so people actually know what they’re reading.

Originally posted by thewanderesss

Keep reading

Hello all my best bookish friends! I a thrilled because I have he entire weekend off and I have just arrived in Glasgow and immediately put on my pj’s and made myself comfortable. Let’s get this weekend going. 🙌🏻




I’ve got a massive to do list of things I’m thrilled to get done this weekend - vlog posts, video editing, designing, etc. - and some serious reading to do! I’m hoping to finish IN COLD BLOOD either today or tomorrow and then start the second book in @katucker_ series TEN TINY BREATHS, ONE TINY LIE! I’m so excited ☺️



What are your weekend reading plans?

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