going to shit myself in the final

I’ve been seeing a man in my backyard for the past two nights

Story by reddit user Opinionson

To start I need to give some background:

I am a male who lives in relatively nice neighborhood

It’s your average small town run of the mill suburbs area with not a lot of people.

I am a college kid who’s home on break while my parents have gone away which doesn’t help at all.

I have a two story house

I do not have gun nor do I have any real weapons other than kitchen knives

I am not on any medication and I have no record of schizophrenia or any other mental illnesses

I barely have any relationships with my neighbors most of whom are elderly and the rest I have minimal contact with

I do not have any people in my neighborhood (that I know of) who have reasons to attack or harm me

Now, let’s get into what has been happening. About two nights ago I woke up very late in the night and I went to the bathroom to go take a shit. Now, my second story bathroom has a window that can see the entirety of my backyard. Directly behind it is a cul de sac which you can see directly into. There is a group of trees and pile of rocks and mulch that divides it. Usually I can see everything in my backroom without turning on my because lights from my neighbor’s house dimly lights the room.

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A very long time ago @jennthereaper and @simplyn2deep both sent me this prompt, and I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long, but the other day I was finally inspired to take a stab at it. I hope you enjoy!

From The Way You Said “I Love You” 

#26 Broken, as you clutch the sleeve of my jacket and beg me not to leave

Please, Derek, please, I–“ Stiles chokes back the beginnings of tears and clutches harder at the sleeve of Derek’s jacket. He’s on his knees, having tripped in his scramble to get to Derek from the other side of the loft. “I love you, okay? And I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, I’ve been a coward about this whole thing, but I love you. And I know you love me too. I know you do, and I need you not to leave like this, fuck, Derek, please don’t do this.”

Derek stares down at him for a long time, heart clenched in his throat.

And then he looks up at where the other Stiles is pursing his lips in a hard frown as he watches the scene.

“It isn’t real?” Derek asks for the hundredth time since the other Stiles, the real Stiles, showed up in this apparent dreamscape.

Stiles shakes his head stiffly.

The Stiles on the floor is still pleading with him around tears, but the noises of his despair are starting to fade, as if Derek were now hearing him from a distance. Even his heartbeat, a sound that Derek has been clinging to as an anchor for what feels like forever, begins to disappear.

Derek swallows and steels himself against feeling anything more than determination to get through this newest mess.

“What now?” he asks, tone clinical and firm.

Stiles answers him in a similar tone, his expression betraying nothing about what’s going on in his own head. A far cry from the Stiles that Derek first met a couple years ago, terrified and mouthy and young. “Now you wake up.”

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Drug Wars (Pt. 1)

mafia!Jungkook x Reader

“She’s a babygirl Yoongi, and I think I’m in love with her.”

Warnings: There will be very explicit sexual content, violence, drugs, graphic descriptions of everything, so please don’t read if you’re easily triggered. 

A/N: None of these pictures are mine, credits to the owners. There are mistakes, I’ll reread it later. Enjoy!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 | The Real Drug War

It’s the last class of the day and you can’t wait for it to end. Your head hurts from the pale lights, the stuffy, unventilated room is making you sick and you just want to go outside and inhale the cold air.

Finally you get up from your seat and storm out of the room in the middle of the lecture. For once, the building wasn’t filled with students and you could clearly hear the tapping sounds of your shoes as you quickly rushed down the stairs.

You could feel little bits of fresh air coming in your direction as you neared the already open front door.
The first thing you lay your eyes on when you exit the building is the black G-Class Mercedes-Benz and instantly, you can feel your stomach twisting – you’re excited, but there is fear in your body and you can’t explain why. 

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Healer is OP

Context: It is my first campaign and it is a bit on the larger side. During character creation I decided to go the Healer class instead of Cleric like so many suggested I should. But it seemed relatively easy for me to get a hold of. We are on our way back to the two to tell our quest giver about what we found at a dungeon and are returning with the spoils and we are ambushed by a group of orc slavers.

DM: The monk runs forward to attack the sorcerer head on.

Me OOC: That goes past my square. That means I get an attack of opportunity right?

DM: Yeah, got your weapon out?

Me OOC: When we started combat yeah.

DM: Go ahead and roll

*rolls nat 20*

The entire group starts laughing and shouting.

DM: Alright… confirm crit?

*rolls a nat 20*

Group is giggling at this point and I’m just not sure what is going on.

DM: Confirm… again.

*rolls a nat 20*

DM: You killed the strongest one in the party. Your character turned to see the monk go past you and the end of your spear catches him, cutting off his head. The rest of the group is no zoned in on you, not sure what you are and ready to attack you.

I go through my list of spells, intent on not letting myself die this round. The rest of the turns start to go. Finally my turn comes up.

Me: Sanctuary.

DM: And that does?

Me: Um… unless they get in close range they can’t attack me without a save?

DM: -looks over the spell and explains it to me-

Sure enough, I cast sanctuary and as the sorcerers and the rest were coming towards me, the party picked off the enemy and we won the battle all because of an accident.

break the chain

happy birthday @carryonsimoncarryon!!

length: 3.7k

genre(s): angst+fluff

triggers/warnings: none

simon and baz get in a fight during 7th year and end up magically handcuffed together 

a/n: thank you @cherryonsimon for ur beta skills and brutal honesty :p AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAILEY!!!! ENJOY BEING OLD 💜💜

(if the readmore doesn’t work then just click the url and it will take you to the post ^__^)



Simon

“I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

My jaw drops and I stare at Agatha. She doesn’t look like she’s joking, and I start to feel sick.

“What?”

“I want to break up.”

“But–but why?”

“I just don’t think we’re good together,” she says, like her words aren’t devastating. Like she hasn’t just unraveled all of my plans for our future together.

“But…but I love you…” I say, a bit pathetically, and her face hardens.

“I’m not doing this because I don’t love you, Simon. I just don’t want to be with you anymore.”

I don’t know what to say to that, and she’s not listening anyway. She’s looking at something over my shoulder and I turn around quickly to see what it is.

It’s Baz.

He gives her a lazy wave and a wink, and when I face her again she’s gone pink.

“Him?” I say incredulously. “You’re breaking up with me for him?”

“What if I am?” she says, and I feel my magic starting to rise. She takes a step back, looking scared. I curse and try to force it back down.

“Agatha,” I say, but she’s still moving. “Agatha! I didn’t mean it!”

She spins on her heel and walks off, leaving me behind in the hall.

I’m sure I look like a fish out of water; students are leaving the classrooms and everyone’s giving me a funny look. I’m still fighting to keep my magic under control and I only have one thought on my mind: this is Baz’s fault.

* * *

Baz had somehow disappeared after my confrontation with Agatha, so I go looking for him. I eventually find him lurking in an unused corridor–the one with the room where the Crucible is stored. Surely Baz isn’t daft enough to try and mess with it. He must have some other scheme planned.

I don’t care what it is, I don’t care about anything else right now other than the fact that Baz has once again ruined my life.

I’m attempting to sneak up on him when the sole of my shoe squeaks, and he whips around.

“What do you want, Snow?” Baz spits, and I rush forward without thinking.

“This is all your fault!” I yell as I shove him, “if you’d just left Agatha well alone she wouldn’t have broken up with me!”

He looks confused for a second and then smirks. That makes me angrier, so I shove him again. Harder. This time his head makes a satisfying crack as it hits the wall. I rush forward with my arm pulled back, ready to punch him. He moves to block me and our hands collide in mid-air.

I feel a shimmer of magic around my wrist and my stomach drops. Baz must have cast something too low for me to hear, and now…well, I’m not really sure what he did until I look at my hand and see the shiny metal bracelet. I don’t realize what’s happened at first; Baz tugs his wrist and mine comes with it.

Merlin’s tits, I’m fucking handcuffed to Baz. What is he planning to do to me? This must be one of his schemes! He’s going to…he’s going to…

Well, I’m not sure what he’s going to do, but it probably involves me and a pair of handcuffs.

“What the hell, Baz!” I growl, “let me go!”

He looks indignant. “I didn’t do this!”

“Of course you did!”

“Crowley, Snow, do you really think I’d attach myself to you on purpose?”

Baz

The air starts to fill with smoke, and I realize it’s Snow. Shit, I should have known this would happen. He’s going to bloody go off. I’m tempted to poke him as I usually do–because I know he’ll just shield me–but I finally give into my urge to just…help him.

“Deep breaths now, Snow,” I say, and his head snaps up. He narrows his eyes at me, but I keep going; keep holding his gaze. “Let it go. Some of it. Before you start another fire. Whatever–fuck!”

Snow shoves me into the wall for the second time today, only this time he comes with me and I’m hit from both sides.

“What was that for? I was helping you, you numpty!”

“I don’t need your help,” he snarls.

“Fine!” I spit, “let’s go find you someone else then!”

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✰ * º ❛ you’re the worst sentence starters. ❜

‘  who knows their own address?  ’
‘  are we feminists? is this feminism?  ’
‘  i’m not a sidekick! i’m beyonce, not kelly rowland.  ’
‘  your cockaholism may just be about the least important thing in the world to me right now.  ’
‘  i wouldn’t call 10 a.m. ‘really early’.  ’
‘  cool! let’s add cocaine to the butt stuff.  ’
‘  you can’t leave! i love you!  ’
‘  do you even know what love means?  ’
‘  now go make me some bagel bites.  ’
‘  love isn’t about having somebody get you things. love is putting someone else’s feelings above your own. do you think you could ever do that? honestly?  ’
‘  do i look like a fitbit? i don’t give a shit about your sleep.  ’
‘  why are you yelling at me? what are you doing in my house?  ’
‘  i need you to act like a human person and pick up your damn phone when i call your skank ass!  ’
‘  you know, after i cleaned the fries off your face and put you to bed, you said something to me that was pretty dark.  ’
‘  did you wear your booby shirt?  ’
‘  if i don’t get a night off soon, i think my liver is gonna slide out of my body.  ’
‘  i’m peeing blood and i briefly forgot the word for telephone.  ’
‘  you’re right. she’s gonna hate me.  ’
‘  you think i’m an unfriendly treacherous mountain?  ’
‘  we’re adults! we can do this ourselves.  ’
‘  you’re losing your hair.  ’
‘  practicing what? dying alone?  ’
‘  i told the spice girls i was dying in order to get free concert tickets.  ’
‘  i learned blue balls were a myth when i was 12.  ’
‘  i’m not much of a cleaner.  ’
‘  you’re not much of a human!  ’
‘  did you slither out of your mothers cooch yesterday?  ’
‘  i can’t believe i finally made a new friend and i tried to bang her the first time we hung out.  ’
‘  no offense, but you’re kind of making my skin crawl.  ’
‘  i’m not comfortable about feelings.  ’
‘  aren’t we lucky we’re both in professions where we can day drink?  ’
‘  i’m glad this is a one-night thing so we can reveal all this awful shit about ourselves.  ’
‘  what do you mean you watch tv on your computer?  ’
‘  i don’t know what i’m doing here. i’m not even attracted to you.  ’
‘  you two are poison people. this is gonna end so badly.  ’
‘  if you wanna go, just go.  ’
‘  why can’t you just let this be over?  ’
‘  you and i, we’re inevitable.  ’
‘  move in with me.  ’
‘  i just humiliated myself by accepting your non-marriage proposal, i cannot now move in with you.  ’
‘  you’re just doing this as a hail mary because you know you’re about to lose me for good.  ’
‘  what i have finally realized is that the worst possible draft of my life is the one without you in it. i hate it, but you goddamn floor me.  ’
‘  oh shit… we’re gonna do this even though we know there is only one way this ends. whether in a week or twenty years, there is horrible sadness and pain coming in and we’re inviting it.  ’
‘  she stayed! you say she forced you, but we both know there’s not a person on this planet who’s ever had a good outcome trying to force you to do anything. she stayed and that means something whether you wanna admit it or not.  ’
‘  i’m not doing anything… i’m crying in my car.  ’
‘  don’t start keeping secrets now.  ’
‘  the only thing i need from you is to not make a big deal with it and be okay with how i am and the fact that you can’t fix me.  ’
‘  no, i’m mad at you because you think you can fix me! you can’t fix me! i don’t need to be fixed!  ’
‘  it’s like you have amnesia. every day you think things are gonna be different.  ’
‘  maybe you can understand this: i feel nothing.  ’
‘  i’ll be back in a couple of days.  ’
‘  you stayed? …you stayed!  ’
‘  you just said ‘boyfriend.’  ’
‘  i understand that my actions could lead you to feel a bit unwelcome and i’ll work on not being such a control freak.  ’
‘  i’m done comparing this to what normal people do.  ’
‘  normal people are terrible.  ’
‘  when i look at you, i swear i can see years years into the future with you.  ’
‘  …i love you too.  ’
‘  i’ve just heard that you’re the worst.  ’
‘  i tricked him into giving me back rubs, saying it made me horny.  ’
‘  obviously, i thought it was, like, boring as shit.  ’
‘  clearly you used to jack off to hemingway in high school.  ’
‘  i’m an irresponsible monster who burned down her apartment with a vibrator.  ’
‘  if there is even a remote possibility of breakfast and you don’t wake me up, i will never touch your dick again with any part of my body.  ’
‘  jokes on you, dummy, i’m already horny.  ’
‘  oh my god! that is so sexist and mansplain-y.  ’
‘  if ‘i love you’ is like a promise, it’s just a promise to try real hard. doesn’t mean you can’t fail.  ’
‘  i shit myself earlier and that is only the second most embarrassing thing that has happened to me today.  ’
‘  you knew who i was, you don’t get to act surprised now.  ’
‘  bam! carpe those diems!  ’
‘  i have to gone girl myself and start over where nobody knows me.  ’
‘  i’m going to have a baby.  ’
‘  i just want my kids to be sad when i die.  ’
‘  i didn’t want to kill him. i just snapped!  ’
‘  i feel guilty because of how much he suffered… and because you stabbed him on purpose.  ’
‘  you’re so getting murdered.  ’
‘  i can’t tell him my brain is broken.  ’
‘  don’t stalk me again because you suck at it.  ’
‘  back off, bitch.  ’
‘  don’t go.  ’
‘  i got your back, always.  ’
‘  you might not be useful in the radish sense, but you’re a good friend and you make people happy.  ’
‘  when i get back, you’re going to take me to a real bar and feed me cheap whiskey until i forget about that time i stopped being able to have sex with my boyfriend ever again because he took me to a bar that only served water!  ’
‘  so, would you say it’s a… problem-free philosophy? it’s like… no worries for the rest of your days?  ’
‘  did you just quote the lion king to me?  ’
‘  hey, um, so listen… i think you’re funny and cute and i’d like to take you on  a date with me for a date.  ’
‘  why did you put a murder tour on your list?  ’
‘  you even quit a rewards club because you couldn’t handle the commitment.  ’
‘  wear your stains on the outsides of your clothes.  ’
‘  see? dogs eat nachos.  ’
‘  hey, that’s your best garbage bag. you going somewhere?  ’
‘  i’ll be out by the time you get back. have fun, you deserve it… whoever she is.  ’
‘  red licorice vodka?  ’
‘  send money, loser!  ’
‘  and you date him… willingly.  ’
‘  my heart is a dumb dumb.  ’
‘  i’ve always been able to flip myself back over eventually, but… i ran out of times. this is how i am now and it’s not okay with you, nor should it be.  ’
‘  i suppose it’s good that this happened now, instead of like, ten years down the line.  ’
‘  the world is absolutely lousy with people and i hate them all. i hate everyone but you.  ’
‘  what the hell is wrong with us?  ’
‘  let’s make a pact never to feel anything around each other ever again.  ’
‘   i’ve never eaten a blueberry.  ’
‘   i’ve always had one foot out the door. with everything. especially with us.  ’
‘   so, you might just suddenly bounce out of here?  ’
‘  can we just… bail?  ’
‘  you’ve had a little too much to drink, didn’t you, buddy?  ’

Death Note Live Watch Reaction

-*Special Note: HOLY SHIT, this movie is bad

-We are in Seattle. Okay. Sure, why not?

- Anyone else notice how Light is like doing middle school homework in high school? No really, I was doing logarithms in my sophomore year. Sure, I was in honors classes, but come on?

- Light Yagami had a super sense towards the law. He would not be doing other kid’s homework for money. Sorry, but you already screwed up this character with the opening fucking scene.

-Like I am trying. I really am.

-Why does this movie have this 70s high school feel…in 2017? No really, who the fuck cares about cheerleaders and jocks anymore in school? The cool kids now are the fucking prepsters who get good grades and shit or the mopey losers on instagram.

–Oh please tell me that this hot topic heffa is not supposed to be Misa?

-Misa Amane was gothic. Not emo. Fuck….

- Also Misa was a fucking super model. She is not some ordinary white girl. She is headturningly beautiful. I am not taking away from the actress because she is attractive in that ordinary white girl across the street type of way, but no.

-Oh god, I hate the music. This is what DmC did to Devil May Cry. This is so bad. Like Death Note had ominous chanting to death metal. Not soem 80s syth pop.

- The music does not match!

-No one sees a book falling from the sky in the open? Okay.

- I get that everyone else heads inside, but why would football players? I mean it is just rain and as far I’ve seen, Football players play in the rain, snow, sleet, or hail. Even high school. Then again, I went to a school with a highly competive football team so yeah.

-The bully? I don’t know if this movie knows what schools are like now and days. Bullies are few and far in between in that make. People resort to passive aggressiveness now or cyberbullying.

- Flash Thompson in Spider-man: Homecoming is today’s type of bully. Whoever this Biff looking motherfucker is a thing of the past.

- Misa(if that is even her name) has some stupid lines. Like you are such a stupid fuck? Really? stupid fuck? Alright.

-HEY DON’t TOUCH HER! Fuck, Light, why are you screaming? They just pushed the girl. They didn’t fucking impale her or beat her up. The fuck?

-Also Light Yagami, is a misogynist who thinks women are useless and get in his way. He would step in the way to save Misa from a bully, yes, but he would not be super abrasive about it or psycho.

-They really do not get Light Yagami at all. He is not a bullied character. If Light were the one stepping up to Biff from Back to the Future, Light would immediately threaten to go to the authority(in this case adults) or talk the guy down while being impossibly smug. He would not taunt the guy out loud. And the guy would not be in Light’s face taunting him because Light is, wait for it….one of the popular kids. Yes. Light is that asshole prep kid who has the future lined up for him. He is brilliant, and smart, and pretty, and all those things women love him for and why men want to be him. They fucked this movie up from the get go.

-Threatening child abuse? Really Light? Okay

-I am trying. I really am.

- White Yagami: I was beat up and you are worried that I threatened the academic integrity of school. You should pay attention to people who make life worse for everybody, principal, and not the guy is cheats for people.

- Thank you, principal for not buying into his bullshit.

- Boo-hoo, I was not rewarded for being a male savior.

-I stopped trying btw.

- The dialogue is soooo bad. “Hey I was awake…I was a tree or something?” What? Even? Ugh?

- Well White Yagami is the type of white boy who investigates the danger in horror movies. 

-Okay, that scream will great. LMAO

-This home boy literally shrieked!

- He is really losing his shit. OMG.

- Ryuk is fucking wasteful. That is a whole lot of apple that is not eaten. 

- White Yagami is so fucking crass. Everybody is dropping f-bombs like it is the biggest word they know.

-Ryuk sounds like Ryuk.

- Ryuk is tempting White Yagami to write in the Death Note? Oh God!

- Did these assholes even see Death Note? I really have to ask because ugh!

- This is the first 10 minutes, and I can’t even. 

- Look, what made Light so special is that when Ryuk dropped the Death Note, he wanted to see what would happen. He thought someone who picked up the Death Note would just write someone’s name out of curiosity or even do some revenge kills because that is what people do. So when he tracks down Light and sees that he, after testing the Death Note out, filled out entire pages, he was shocked. Light did not need any push to start killing. He already had it in him.

- Like Ryuk is actually encouraging him? Are they exonerating Light in this movie?

-Like no?

- When did Death Note become fucking final destination?

-…You know what? Fuck this movie.I am not going to subject myself to this shit. I love myself too much to watch this and that is saying something because I have severe clinical depression.

-ten minutes in and I am done.

#iconic moments from “history of the entire world, i guess”
  • nothing is nowhere. when? never.
  • 🎶the sun is a deadly lazer🎶
  • here’s another map of the land. yeah it broke apart don’t worry about it, it does that all the time
  • gneurshk
  • 🎶Society🎶 coming soon to a dank river valley near you
  • tired of using lame, sad metal? introducing BRONZE
  • the middle east is getting more complicated (maybe because it’s in the middle of the east)
  • oops china just broke
  • let’s check the greekification levels of the greekified kingdoms (greekification overload)
  • “heyyyyyyyy” said the romans, eating the entire mediterranean for breakfast
  • i s  l o v i n g  j e s u s  l e g a l  y e t
  • what’s a barbarian? “non-romans,” said the romans, being invaded by non-romans
  • they did many crusades, some of which almost didn’t fail
  • the king of mali is so rich he’s going on a tour to let everyone know
  • whoops half of europe just died
  • it’s the mahajapit majahapit mapajahit mahapajit mapajahit ma-ja-ha-pit?
  • wait, said christopher columbus, probably smoking crack
  • hey christians, do you sin?
  • “fuck the church, here’s 95 reasons why,” said martin luther
  • “damn,” said england and france, “we gotta start pillaging some stuff”
  • “let’s overthrow the palace and cut all their heads off,” said robespierre, cutting everybody’s head off until someone eventually got mad and cut his head off (you could make a reli- no don’t)
  • [whispers] they never got ethiopia
  • hi im gandhi and if britain doesn’t get the hell out of india im going to starve myself in public. wow that worked?
  • look out china there’s a new china in china. 
  • what’s on the menu? communism
  • the united states finally decided whether racism is good or bad. they decided it’s bad and the world agrees (south africa might need another minute to think about it)
2

Quotes and excerpts from Dylan’s journal:

“I was delusional and thought she waved at me the last day of school. Oh well … my emotions are gone. So much past pain at once, my senses are numbed. The beauty of being numb.”

“I’d rather have nothing than be nothing." 

"I want to be free." 

"Farther and farther distant… that’s what’s happening… me & everything that zombies consider dear… just images, not life. Soon I will be at peace I hope…”

“I’ve always had a thing for the past - how it reacts to the present & the future - or rather vice versa. I wonder how/when i got so fucked up…”

“Sadness seems infinite, & the shell of happiness shines around. Yet the true despair overcomes it this lifetime.”

“The pain multiplies infinitely. never stops. Yet im here, STILL alone, still in pain.”

“The framework of society stands above & below me. The hardest thing to destroy, yet the weakest thing that exists. I know that i am different, yet i am afraid to tell the society. The possible abandonment, persecution is not something I want to face, yet it is so primitive to me. I guess being yourself means letting people know about inner thoughts too, not just opinions & fashions. (Heheh) I will be free one day, in the land of purity & my happiness, I will have a love, someone who is me in a way. Someday… Possibly thru this life, maybe another, but it will happen… ”

“Love is more valuable than anything I know. To love is to enter a completion of one’s self. I hate those who choose to destroy a love, who take it for granted. love is greater than life even. As i look for love, i feel i can’t find it. ever. but something tells me i will. Someday. Somewhere. As my love will find me. She feels as i do right now, i can feel it. we will be inseperable. Her & i. Whether it is [edited] or not, i think ill find it. (my love). we will be free, to explore the vast wonders of the stars. To cascade down everlong waterfalls, & thru the warmest seas of pure happiness… no limits… no limits. Nothing will stop us.”

“Nobody will help me.”

“I wonder if ill ever have a love.”

“Being made human
Without the possibility of BEING human
The cruelest of all punishments.”

“These moments will be lost in the depressions & caverns of the human books forever like, tears in rain, but the thoughts will be eternal. To explain the happiness is impossible even for fate. It’s just a pure halcyon set to last more existences than a conceivable number.”

“Existence is a great hall, life is one of the rooms, death is passing thru the doors, & the ever existent compulsion of everything is the curiosity to keep moving down the hall, thru the doors, exploring rooms, down this never-ending hall.”

“Existence is pure hell & pure heaven at the same time. I will never stop wondering. The lost highway will never end.”

“Time to die, time to be free, time to love.”

“The zombies will never cause us pain anymore.”

“Fact: People are so unaware. … well, Ignorance is bliss I guess…. that would explain my depression.”

“I was Mr. Cutter tonight - I have 11 depressioners on my right hand now.”

“oooh god i want to die sooo bad… such a sad, desolate, lonely, unsalvageable i feel i am….. not fair, NOT FAIR!!!! I wanted happiness!! I never got it…”

“I think a lot. Think … think … that’s all my life is, just shitloads of thinking … all the time … my mind never stops… music runs 24/7 (except for sleep), just songs I hear, not necessarily good or bad, & thinking…" 

”My existence is shit to me – how I feel that I am in eternal suffering, in infinite directions in infinite realities. Yet these realities are fake – artificial, induced [?] by thought, how everything connects, yet its all so far apart…. & I sit & think…"

“I don’t fit in I’ve been thinking of suicide gives no hope, that I’ll be in my place wherever I go after this life … that I’ll finally not be at war with myself, the world, the universe – my mind, body, everywhere, everything at PEACE in me – my soul (existence)." 

”Goodbye, sorry to everyone… I just can’t take it … all the thoughts … too many … make my head twist… I must have happiness, love, peace. Goodbye"

“some zombies are smarter than others, some manipulate… like my parents.”

“It’s interesting, when I’m in my human form, knowing I’m going to die. Everything has a touch of triviality to it. Like how none of this calculus shit matters. The way it shouldn’t. the truth. In 26.4 hours, I’ll be dead, & in happiness. The little zombie human fags will know their errors, & be forever suffering and mournful”

5

I have a story for Hollywood. It’s a romantic comedy. But it’s actually real. It starts with a Croatian guy walking into a bar …

It was 2011. I was 21 years old. I arrived in Spain really late — maybe 10 o’clock at night. I had been playing for Schalke in Germany for the past four years, and Seville were all set to sign me the next morning. All I had to do was take my medical test and sign the papers. My older brother Dejan was traveling with me, and when we got to the hotel, we had a late dinner with some people from the club. For whatever reason, I was a little bit nervous after dinner, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. So I said to my brother, “Let’s have a drink and then we’ll go to bed.”

Those words changed my life.

Because the woman who happened to be working at the hotel bar was … Wow. This is the part of the movie where everything goes into slow motion, you know? She was so beautiful. I said to myself, O.K., Seville. Wow. I like this place.But I couldn’t say anything to her other than “Hola,” because I didn’t know any Spanish. I spoke German, English, Italian, French and Serbo-Croatian, but no Spanish. It was terrible.

So my brother and I were just sitting there, having a chat, when someone from another big European club called my brother on the phone. They said that they had heard that we had arrived in Seville, and they wanted to send a plane to come pick us up so I could go and sign with them instead.

We didn’t have a formal agreement with Seville yet. It was a big step for me to move to Spain, and maybe a big risk. New country, new language. I didn’t know anyone there. The team who wanted to send the plane for me — let’s just say it might have been an easier adjustment. So my brother said, “What do you want to do?” I told him, “Well … I said ‘Yes’ to the president of Seville already, and my words are worth more than a signature.” He said, “Alright, I’ll tell them.”

Then I pointed across the bar and I said, “You see our waitress? I am going to play here for Seville, and I am going to marry this woman.” My brother was laughing. He said, “O.K., whatever you say.” He thought I was joking. The waitress came back and asked if we were finished, and I said to my brother, “You know, I’m still a bit nervous. I don’t think I can sleep. Let’s have another drink.”

The next day, I signed my contract with Seville, and I lived in that hotel for three months while I searched for a house. So every single morning, I went to the hotel bar for a coffee and an orange Fanta so that I could see the beautiful waitress. All I knew was that her name was Raquel. She didn’t speak any English, and I didn’t speak any Spanish. So every single day … “Buenos días, Raquel. Un café y un Fanta naranja.”

I don’t know how to explain it. Sometimes, you meet someone and you just have a different feeling. Whenever I saw her, it was like a bomb went off inside me. Week after week, I slowly started to learn some Spanish words, and if I was struggling, I would use my hands a lot to try to explain what I was trying to say to her. She thought that was funny. She was like, “Me …  Jane. You … Tarzan.” I was drinking so much coffee it was ridiculous. I probably asked her out 20 or 30 times.

She never said no, but she always made an excuse that she had to work and then go to bed. After three months, I moved into my house, and I remember feeling really sad, because I thought maybe it was over. But I didn’t give up. I would still drive into town and go for a coffee at the hotel all the time.

If she wasn’t working, I’d walk straight back out the door and go to another place. If she was there, it made my day.

One day, Raquel finally explained why she wouldn’t go out with me. She said, “You’re a footballer. You could be moving to another country next year. Sorry, but no.” You know, I’m not the biggest guy in the world, so I thought, Shit, maybe she sees me and she doesn’t think I’m going to be very good and Seville will sell me in the summer.

Part of my motivation when I went to training was to establish myself in the squad so that I would be around for awhile and this girl would finally have dinner with me. It literally took me seven months. I arrived on January 27. On August 20, I got a text: She’s in the bar with her sister having a drink! Not working! See, at this point, pretty much everybody in the town knew my story, so someone was in the bar and they tipped me off with a text. I refuse to name my source. I called a friend and we drove right to the hotel, and I took a seat right next to Raquel, and I said, “O.K., you’re not working. You finally have time to come to dinner with me.”

She was surprised. She said she didn’t know, maybe …I said, “No. I’m not leaving. I know you’re with your sister and everything, but we have to start today. Let’s go. We’ll all go.” So we all went out together.

The next day, we met for lunch, and we have been together ever since. Six years together, with two beautiful daughters now. And it was the hardest thing I’ve done in my life. It was harder than winning the Champions League, and it took nearly as long.- Ivan Rakitic in The Players’ Tribune

Different - Klaus Mikaelson // requested

Request - can you do a Klaus milkaelson x reader where the reader is new to mystic falls and he instantly takes an intrest in her and makes caroline jealous?? love your writing!

Pairing : Klaus Mikaelson x Fem Reader 

Requests are open. xx

Originally posted by imultifandomstuff

Originally posted by divine-trash


Mystic Falls. An unknown territory. Truth is, I never left New York. My parents sent me here to “better myself”. They tried to get me to stay with family friends but I shot that down quick. I’m 19. I can fend for myself. The only reason I came down here instead of bailing was because I might as well do something for them. Family is all you have in the end.

The apartment I bought was right in the town. As I looked from a window I saw town square and a bar across from my building. Smirking, I got dressed into a black tank top and ripped jeans. I grabbed my heels, purse, and leather jacket before stepping out into the cold hallway.


There weren’t a lot of people around as I across the street. And it was quiet.. Living in the city that never sleeps can be very loud. This was the exact opposite and it was kind of nice.

Walking into the grill or bar or whatever it is, I looked around. The door slammed behind me, catching some peoples attention. Music played softly in the background, and I arched an eyebrow. Is this really how people spend their time down here? I sighed and started to make my way to the bar.

“Rum and coke, please.” I asked kindly.

The man looked at me with a questioning look but made my drink anyway. Wow, they don’t even ID down here. I sipped my drink and scanned around the room. Not a lot of cute guys here. The man a few seats down wasn’t too bad, with raven hair and a leather jacket but I could tell that he’s spoken for. Him and brunette over there were speaking with their eyes.

The blonde one who made my drink was okay.. But he looked vulnerable. Reading people around me became a specialty of mine after years and years of boring family business parties. I let out a sigh before downing the rest of my drink. I turned my head and saw a man smirking at me. He was probably the best looking guy in the bar. From his smirk I could tell he was confident.

The blonde girl behind him didn’t look too happy, and stormed off. I smiled as he approached me.

“You don’t look like you’re from around here, love.” The man spoke with an accent. Accents have always been a weakness of mine, but I didn’t let it show.

“That’s because I’m not.” I grinned, looked back to the bartender. “Another rum and coke, please.”

“Put it on my tab, Matt. It’s rude to have a woman pay for her own drink.”

“Oh, so chivalry isn’t dead. That’s a relief.” I let out a light laugh as Matt handed me my drink.

“I like to think my mother raised me better than that.” His voice was smooth.

“Very well. What’s your name, stranger?” I asked, taking a sip, letting the burning liquid slide down my throat.

“Klaus.. And you are?”

“Y/N. Now that we’re acquainted, how about I beat your ass at a game of pool?”


Klaus ended up walking me back to my apartment around 11. I wasn’t drunk, but I wasn’t sober either. I could still walk on my own, but I had a giggly feeling.

“You can come in, if you’d like. It’ll probably be hours before I fall asleep.” I announced as I unlocked my door.

“No. It’s quite alright. Perhaps I’ll see you tomorrow.” Klaus smiled. He drank way more than me, yet he doesn’t even seem fazed.

I let out a giggle, “perhaps you will. Goodnight Klaus. You’re not that bad you know.”

“Goodnight Y/N.” He softly smiled before walking to the elevator.

Shutting the door, I stretched and started stripping. Making my way to the closet.


Waking up, it felt as if someone lightly traced their fingers on my bare back. Yet, when I opened my eyes I saw no one around. I stretched and probably let out the most sexual noise ever while I did it. That’s the beauty of living alone. You can make so many weird noises and no one will hear.

After showering and changing into my clothes for the day, I grabbed my keys and walked to the front door. I came to a stop when I saw a single envelope on the floor, as if someone slid it under the door. The writing on it was beautiful cursive. I opened it and saw that it was an invitation to a ball.

Holy shit, I didn’t think anyone threw those things anymore. Thinking it’d be fun I decided to go dress shopping. Flipping the card over I saw, written messily in the bottom corner, ‘Save me a dance. -Klaus.’.

Jesus, I don’t know who this man is… but he’s playing the cards right. I smirked to myself, and finally headed into the town. Walking from store to store I ran into the blonde girl from last night in a boutique.  

“Hi,” she simply spoke, standing in front of me with her hands clasped. I gave her an odd look.

“Hi.”

“What’s your name?” She asked.

“…Y/N. Yours?” I responded. I felt awkward talking to her, so I continued to browse isles. Looking at different price tags on beautiful gowns.

“Caroline.” She smiled. I will admit, she is beautiful.

“Nice to meet you Caroline. Can I help you with something?”

She looked around the room, “this might sound weird, but I’m trying to help you.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah, just stay away from Klaus… He’s trouble. I should know.”

I smirked and looked over to her, “everyone likes a bit of trouble. Thanks, honestly. But I can take care of myself. It was nice to meet you, Caroline.” I smiled before grabbing a beautiful dress and going to the register.


The ball was at 7, however considering I knew nothing about this town I decided to leave a bit early so I could avoid getting lost. The gown I was wearing was black lace. It was straight and flowed to the floor. I had my hair styled up, with loose curls falling out. My makeup was natural, with a bit of dark eyeshadow to make my eyes pop.

I ended up pulling into the mansion around 8:30. Try to get somewhere early, only to be late. Story of my life. Walking inside, I saw so many people in gorgeous dresses and suits. There were waiters walking about with champagne.

I snagged myself a glass and wandered around. I tried my hardest to look for Klaus - or hell, even Caroline, but no luck. I’m never good at events like this unless I had someone with me.

A few glasses later, I stood by the staircase. Contemplating leaving or not.

“Save me a dance, love?” I heard a voice from behind me. I smirked and turned around.

“Surprisingly, I haven’t danced with anyone. Just drinking your free champagne. If you’re lucky, you might get more than one dance.”

“How come you haven’t danced with anyone? As far as I can tell, most of the men can’t keep their eyes off you. Including my brother, over there.” Klaus smirked, pulling me to the dance floor.

“Believe it or not, most guys are intimidated by me. It was like that even in New York. Which one is your brother?” I responded, placing one hand behind his neck and the other in his hand.

“He’s over there, by the bar. He’s the one staring and trying to find out a way to win your heart.”

I glanced behind me and saw him smirking. I let out a laugh.

“He’s cute. But I’m not really into the whole Peter Pan look he has going.. And plus, I’m not that easy to win over.”

Klaus laughed, “I’ll be sure to let him know that.”

I laughed with him before he changed the subject.

“So, Y/N.. What do you like?”

“What do I like?” I laughed softly, “depends. Are we talking about in general or what I like in men?” I arched an eyebrow.

He smirked, “either one.”

I sighed, “well, I try to like everything. As cliché as this might sound, I like clothing. I’ve been thinking about designing some. I love art. But not that stupid modern art, where someone draws a line and calls it art. I like classic art. Like the Mona Lisa or Creation of Adam.. And as for men, I like them to be brilliant. Sophisticated.. But still dangerous. Every girl has a weak spot for a bad boy.” I laughed.

Klaus lightly chuckled, and looked into my eyes. He stepped away, mid dance, and held out his hand.

“Come with me.”

I narrowed my eyes at him but took his hand anyway. He led me up the staircase and I grabbed another glass of champagne on the way.

Klaus opened up the doors to a room and I walked inside. As soon as I stepped one foot inside, I gasped. Paintings were lined around the room and a desk and easel was placed in the middle.

“Oh my god.” I whispered, walking to one of the paintings.

“What are you? Like a collector or something?” I asked, lightly trailing my fingers down a canvas. I heard Klaus chuckle from behind me.

“No, actually I’m an artist. Or so I like to think.”

“Are you kidding me? These are gorgeous. The way you blended the paints together.. It’s amazing.” I smiled, and turned to face him. “You have talent.”

“Thank you. That actually means more than it seems.” He smiled back.

Suddenly the door opened and Caroline stood there, looking angry.

“Klaus. May I have a word?” Her voice was cold.

I saw Klaus roll his eyes before turning to me.

“Please excuse me, I’ll just be a moment.”

I smiled at him and nodded, turning back to the masterpieces in front of me.


For some reason, the party ended early and Klaus never returned. I was walking into my sad, cold apartment when I noticed something lying on my bed. I threw down my clutch and picked up the piece of paper.

It was a drawing, of me. My hair was down and it looked like I was smiling. I remember that moment, it was the night before when I was kicking Klaus’ ass at pool. The bottom corner had writing and it said, ‘Hope you forgive me for leaving you. I’d love to see you again. You’re different from the rest. - Klaus.’

I smiled like a drunk idiot before falling onto my bed. I think I might like it here.


Hope you like it!! Sorry it’s so late!! xx

3

It’s 230 am, if you know where this alley is in downtown phoenix and want to bear witness to the spectacle that is the savage wrath of Chaos Vortex and fully understand why Im known in over 30 countries as The Dragon Of Devastation in the streets and in both official and underground martial arts fight circuits worldwide, then get here by 3 cuz shit is about to go the fuck down. 2 squads are bringing their 10 strongest warriors to finally settle a decade long rivalry with no weapons… And i set it all up by going to the enemy stronghold by myself to put an end to the fued through one final battle. Why did i approach both sides with this plan? Because unifying warriors, expanding my network of underworld connections, and restoring peace on the streets through the use of honorable combat is what i have always done everywhere I’ve been to in the world. Your either born a fuckin leader like myself or a follower. If you’re a leader, that’s what you should do. But If you decide to lead and others choose follow, then it’s your responsibility to use your clout to enrich their lives regardless of whether it puts you in danger or not because it’s the right thing to do. I exist to empower and assist my fellow humans. That is why i do things like this. On the surface, it may seem to many like im just a crazy adrenaline junkie and do so much dangerous shit cuz i have a reckless disregard for my own life, and to an extent they’re right, but really drives me is my passion to hone my talents. We all have our own unique talents for many reasons, but to me, the main reason we have them is because there are so many way that they can be used to help others. Tonight is another example of how i utilize my inborn talent for hurting people to help them. Open your third eye and im sure you can you feel the energy of my bloodlust emanating through the screen when you look at my pix. As the time for war draws closer my soul grows colder and the ability to grant mercy is now devoid within me. Mother nature always thirsts for blood in her soil, and Tonight we will give it to her.

A brand new ladder appeared in my yard.

Let me back up a little.

Look, I’m no storyteller, I’m just a high school kid living in literal hell on earth right now. I’m going to try to tell you my story exactly the way it happened, and I really, really hope some of you can help me.

I work in an AMC theater at the local mall. My parents got me the job since they know the owner. The mall itself is a shithole waiting to be turned either into a parking lot or a Costco. I mean, most of the stores are closed and our theater is the only business getting some traffic.

I started working at this AMC about 9 months ago. It pays shit, $11/hr, but I get to see all the movies and eat free stale popcorn, so it’s not totally bad. Unrelated, but one thing I found strange was that we were always closed on Thursdays. Nobody knew why, and my manager told me it’s always been like that, so I never questioned it.

So last week, we all get called into a team meeting where the manager tells us that someone has to work Thursday night. He said the orders came from the top and we had to be open that day. I look around and nobody’s volunteering. Shit, I could use the extra cash, so I raise my hand.

Keep reading

Meet me in London

Simon meets Baz online and they become best friends.

Based on the prompt: Baz and Simon meet online and become internet friends and skype everyday and end up in love

As always a very big thank you to @eroticgropefest for being an amazing beta!


I met Baz three years ago on tumblr. One day I saw an edit of his on my dash and I went to check his blog. The guy made black and white aesthetics that looked awesome in a dark sort of way. So I started to follow him. After he reblogged a video of a guy playing violin, I decided to send him a message.

Dragonwings61: for a disturbed guy, you really have an interesting choice in music

Disturbed-pitch: So because I’m disturbed you feel like I’m not allowed to like classical music?

Dragonwings61: Shit sorry didn’t mean it like that.

Dragonwings61: What I meant to say was

Dragonwings61: I’ve never really heard classic music before but I really liked the song :)

Disturbed-pitch: It’s one of my favourites, you should try to listen to more :)

It started there and we haven’t stopped talking since. We became so close that last year I really wanted to see what he looked like. He’d become my best friend and I wanted to see his face.

Dragonwings61: Baaaaz

Dragonwings61: I wanna ask you something

Disturbed-pitch: Hey. What is it?

Dragonwings61: I’ve been thinking about this a lot

Dragonwings61: And I really don’t want you to freak out ok?

Disturbed-pitch: Go on.

Dragonwings61: I just

Dragonwings61: I really wanna see what you look like

Dragonwings61: pls don’t freak out, If you’re not comfortable with this pls forget I ever asked

Disturbed-pitch: It’s fine Simon… I thought about it myself quite a few times lately.

Dragonwings61: Ohhh

Dragonwings61: so is that a yes?

Disturbed-pitch: Yes I’d like to see your stupid face too :)

Dragonwings61: I bet your face looks more stupid than mine

Disturbed-pitch: We shall see

We exchanged photos and one day, I was having trouble with my homework–I’d never cared for math–and he wanted to help me out so we skyped. And I’m glad we did. Baz is beautiful. He rolls his eyes a lot at me and fucking sneers but… I just really like looking at him. I like Baz a lot.

After that we became even closer. We talked almost everyday, first only for a few minutes then for hours on end. We would just turn skype on and do our own thing, like studying, or reading. Baz even played violin a few times for me to see and it was so fucking beautiful. Everything he does is perfect.

Now it’s the end of the summer and I’m going to university in a few days. I haven’t figured out what I want to major in but I’ll try a few different classes and see what sticks.

I told Baz my plan of moving to London months ago–I live in Manchester and Baz leaves in Hampshire–and he hasn’t said a word as to where he’s going. I’d love to meet him one day… I’ve just never had the courage to ask him. But I really want to touch him, make sure he’s real. I mean, of course he’s real, but I’ve never seen him outside of my screen before.

I’m at my laptop scrolling through tumblr when Baz asks to skype. I accept.

“Hey.”

“Hey Baz.” I smile at him. I’m always happy to see him.

“Listen… I’ve been meaning to tell you something for awhile.”

I stare at him through the screen. Why is he nervous? He’s making me feel nervous “Okay.”

“I just…” he sighs and runs a hand through his hair “You know that I’m going to university.”

I look at him expectantly. Is he finally telling me where he’s going? It’s not like him to keep things a secret; not from me anyway.

“This doesn’t have to mean anything but–” he continues, and he’s blushing right now and I feel like blushing myself just by the way he’s looking at me. “I’m going to London.”

“What?” Wait, what? Did he really just say–

“London. I’m going to fucking London, Simon.”

“Why?” I ask stupidly. But I start grinning at him like an idiot. We’re going to be in the same city. Fuck, I’m gonna be able to hang out with him and actually see his face.

“Well there’s a really good school there… Besides, there’s someone I was really hoping to meet in person.” I feel my cheeks burning as he says this.

Holy shit this is really happening. I’m going to finally meet Baz. “When are you moving to London?”

“I’m already here. I just arrived at my aunt’s flat a few hours ago.” Then he grabs his laptop and turns it around so that I can see his new room.

“Baz?” I call him, and he puts his laptop on the desk again.

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna be in London in a few days.”

“I know–”

“Let’s meet?” I say unsure, interrupting him.

“I’d like that.” he tells me, half smiling.

And there’s nothing to lose now, so I might as well try my luck. “As in, a date.”

“Oh?” He looks surprised.

“Is that cool?”

“Fuck, of course it is, Simon.”

***

We agreed to meet at Kings Cross, Baz said he would pick me up when I arrived (everything that I own fits into a bag) and then we would go on our date. I can’t believe this is happening, that he actually said yes to go out with me.

I’ve been so nervous the last couple of days because of this, of finally going to meet him. But as the train arrives at the station and I exit the platform all that anxiety melts away when I notice him staring right at me.

Once I reach him I let my bag drop to the floor. I put my arms around him to pull him closer into a tight hug and he does the same. He feels so good this close to me, and smells incredible, I don’t know how to describe it other than that he smells posh and it really fits him.

“Baz.” I say, grinning into his neck. I still can’t believe that he’s actually here in front of me.

“Hello, Simon,” he says, and it’s muffled by my hair. He holds me tight against him longer than necessary before letting me go.

When I step back all I can focus on are his lips. They were so close to mine. And I just really want to kiss him.

I put my hand on his neck and make slow movements with my thumb. “I want to kiss you…” I start,“but we haven’t even been on a date yet.” That gets me a eye roll from him.

“We’re not exactly strangers,” he says, leaning into me.

He’s so close now; if I just leaned a bit forward, we’d be kissing. “I know, but I still want to take you on a–”

And then he kisses me.


(see my snowbaz fic masterlist)

A Place to Call Home

A/N: So I had this idea and then I had a dream of this idea so I decided to go with it. I thought about make it a series but I’m not sure yet. We’ll see how it goes. I had no idea it would come out as long as it did, the words just kept come. Anyways, let me know what you think! BE HONEST. And if you want this to maybe be a series let me know that as well! :) Also I suck a titles I’m sorry.

Warnings: Drinking. Language. Smut. Unprotected Sex.

Word Count: 8,956 (SORRY)

Pairing: Dylan O’Brien x Reader

Keep reading

So I got the chance to meet Liam Payne today!! And let me tell you: that !! shit !! was !! good !!

So basically what happened was we got there around 3, and they weren’t letting people in until about 3:30-3:40. We waited, talked to some cool people, then eventually there was check in. We got all settled in then about 10 minutes later they gave everyone their lanyards and let us into the room. There weren’t seats or anything, just a stage with a couch then an open floor where we could sit (my sister and I got to sit in the third row! And it was extremelyyyyyy close). Anyways, once everyone got into the room one of the radio hosts started asking questions to fans, like asking who was the biggest Liam fan. That went on for a bit before the radio host (Adam Bomb) came in and introduced Liam and LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. THAT MAN LOOKED GOOD AS HELL. As you see in the pic above (I’m in the blue btw!), he was wearing a red sweater and he looked so clean and fresh and just so GOOD. He did an interview, talked about Bear and how Cheryl is use to him being gone and how she said that she could do it on her own (in a good way!!). He answered some questions from the fans that had been sent in and for the life of me I can’t remember any of them except this one girl who asked if he likes unicorns??

Anyways, after the whole little interview (which included so many cute moments but I can’t think of them right now because I’m still in shock so maybe if I remember I’ll do another post) he played us his song and out of respect for him and the station, I’m not gonna give any spoilers on it. All I’m going to say is that it’s so much better than what you’re expecting. It’s such a bop and people are gonna love it!!

After that, they had everyone line up and my sister and I were first in line to meet him, but we didn’t want to be first so we went to the back and as we did that, Liam walked by me and looked me dead in the eye and I shit myself it was MAGICAL. We waited in line for about 10 minutes maybe? Probably less bc it went by so quick, but we finally got to the front of the line.

We walked up to him and my sister was first to meet him. She hugged him and he hugged her back (not one of those side hugs, a full blown hug!!) and then basically I did the same thing (also a full blown hug!!) I hugged him as tight as I could in the moment and actually tried so hard to cherish it. As we went to take the picture, he pulled me closer and I sorta fell into him a little bit. After the picture, he was like “I thought I’d go for a different hello there” bc he said it in a really weird way but it was so cute and funny!! After that, we hugged him again (more full blown hugs!!!) and when I hugged him, our cheeks were pressed together and he is sO SOFT GUYS. He smelt sooooooo fucking good. The last thing I said to him was “bye thank you!” And I can’t remember if he said anything back cause it’s sorta a blur :-(

Anyways, we walked away and once outside my sister broke down into sobs because she loves him so much and I was so happy for her omfg.
Basically it was the best day ever and I wish I could go back. I miss him so much and I really don’t wanna go back to reality, but this is definitely something I’m going to remember and cherish the rest of my life!!! :-)

And please ignore the fact that I look awful!! I was just really happy AHHHHH :-)

Cruel Intentions  {Sentence Starters}

  • “My whole life has been a joke.“
  • “Nothing shocks them anymore.“
  • “And that makes you a hypocrite.”
  • “If you tell anybody, I’ll kick your ass!“
  • “The only thing you’ll be riding is me.”
  • “I think it’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.“
  • “About that little wager of yours, count me in.“
  • “Will you stop that? Stop that, it’s distracting.”
  • “You’re just a toy. A little toy I like to play with.”
  • “You have killer legs. I’d love to photograph them.“
  • “I didn’t know it was asshole day at the _____ house.”
  • “Everybody loves me, and I intend to keep it that way.“
  • “It’s okay, you can laugh, I promise I won’t tell anyone.“
  • “My advice is to sleep with as many people as possible.“
  • “People don’t change overnight. You and I are two of a kind.”
  • “ Please, give me another chance. I’m a wreck without you.“
  • “I hate it when things don’t go my way. It makes me so horny.“
  • “We’ve done some pretty fucked up shit in our time, but this…?”
  • “Introduce her to your world of sex, drugs and…what else do you do?”
  • “If you really want to know the truth then please read it. No more lies.“
  • “You know what your problem is? You take yourself way too seriously.“
  • “I prided myself on taking joy in others’ misery. Well, it finally backfired.“
  • “I don’t know what I could possibly say that would rectify the harm I’ve caused you.“
  • “The truth of the matter is that being with you was the only time I have ever been happy.”
  • “You spend all your time preaching about waiting for love. Well here it is. Right in front of you.”
today i was reflecting in the shower.. where i normally do all of my deeper thinking.. and i couldn’t stop thinking about 2016. i know.. we’re in a new year.. time to let it go.. but i don’t think i properly cleansed myself or made peace with how my year went. and because a lot of what happened to me throughout the year continuously comes to mind.. i knew it was time to sit down and write out my feelings. what has made me the writer or “poet” that i am today.. is i’ve spilled my heart out on paper, time and time again, but lately i’ve been extremely distant. i’m not sure whether it’s because i feel a burden to always be positive and uplifting or because i find myself more afraid than ever. last year i cried. and cried. and cried. more than i’ve ever cried in my 22 years of life. i even made a habit out of watching really sad and emotional movies just so i could find an excuse to. also.. i’ve smoked more than ever before. longing to both - feel.. and be numb. i’d smoke before writing so i could pull certain stories out of me. then i’d smoke after, to forget them. often times.. i just got high enough to make myself fall asleep so i wouldn’t have to deal with anything. in the midst of one of my episodes.. i realized i suffer, and have always suffered, from feeling like nobody really understands me. i’ve always felt like i was someone who was constantly mistaken for an entirely different person. i always feel like i don’t “fit”. i don’t fit around friends.. i don’t fit around family.. i don’t make sense at social gatherings.. i don’t feel at home in my own home. i think a lot of these feelings have come up, from time to time, because i’ve never really known my true identity. all i’ve ever known myself to be is someone that everyone clings to. and not in a “she’s the life of the party” kind of way, but more so, “she’s the person to get advice from” way. and although.. this may sound selfish, sometimes i wish i had someone like me. i wish i had someone who was willing to help solve my problems before solving their own. as i’m typing, i’m starting to cry again. and i’m crying because i don’t know when exactly this will end. or if this discomfort is how i’m meant to live life. maybe this is just the life of an empathic. maybe when i started asking god to “use” me, i signed up for this. the truth is, 2016 should have been the best year of my life. i released a book that hit the best sellers list, i bought my dog that brings an unlimited source of awe to my life, i signed a major publishing deal, i moved out of my parents house and into a new home, i lost friends that never clapped for me, and gained friends who’ve been there for me in every way since, i built this whole “brand” into something much bigger than i ever expected myself to, i found out i was cancer free, i promise the list could continue on. but depression got in the way. of everything. i never once celebrated myself. i never once intervened, and took control. i never even thought to. i felt like whatever i was going through.. i was supposed to. and still.. i’m not sure the reasoning.. i just kept living with a kind of sadness i have yet to find a name for. instead of focusing on all of the goodness that god was placing in my life, i had tunnel vision on everything that i felt was going wrong. i couldn’t see life in a positive light no matter how good things may have got. my parents split up. i was forced to move out. i lost my home base. i went, and still go, months without speaking to either one. my boyfriend was dealing with an ex who continuously threatened to take her life at the account of us being together. all i wanted to do was help her. but couldn’t. i had a new life to take care of, when i could barely take care of my own self. i lost all my friends. literally, every single one. i never ever could leave the house because of how bad my social anxiety was getting. i found out i had a fractured jaw because of the size of a tumor that was holding it in place. i found out i had a fucking tumor that could have been cancerous. i had reconstructive jaw surgery that ruined the nerve and feeling in my mouth. i could not eat or sleep or talk straight for months. i’m still dealing with the pain. i was consistently working and doing interviews right after my surgery. i was and am still extremely exhausted from this. i never properly allowed myself to rest or heal. i started working with a team that could not fully ever understand me which only added to my frustration, loneliness, and sadness. and again, THIS LIST could go on. but more than anything. i was bullied. as my brand kept getting bigger, i was bullied more. and more. and i couldn’t understand how my work, trying to help and heal people, could bring in such negative responses. i couldn’t understand why there were people who were so eager to tear me apart, they would start to attack my image. everyday people attack the way i look and sound. and this kind of bullying brought back a lot of old feelings that i never dealt with as a kid. growing up i was constantly brought down and picked on because of the way i look. i was never skinny enough. or pretty enough. or i was too hairy. or my teeth were too crooked. or my hair was too nappy. or i was too dark. or i was too “black”. or i wasn’t “black enough”. now, i’m receiving - i’m too stupid or i’m too fake. my writing isn’t good enough. my writing is cliche. i look like a monkey. and so on. and so forth. and as i’m typing these things.. i find myself giggling a bit, wondering why i even allow these things to bother me. but truthfully, all negativity from outside sources bothers me. no matter what form it comes in. i always question, “what have i done to deserve this?” and although i often ignore these nasty comments, i’ve realized i harbor the feelings i receive when i see these comments. embarrassment. frustration. confusion. hurt. disappointment. betrayal. i let these statements affect me to the point where i’m starting to silence my voice. i’m starting to be more afraid to speak up for myself. the thought of confrontation makes me nervous. the thought of even receiving any awful comments makes my stomach flip. so i won’t say anything at all. i’ll keep everything to myself if it’ll keep the mean people and their nasty opinions away. but i’m trying to break out of this. i really am. i’m trying to be more understanding of the way people work. i know.. that the way we treat people is a reflection of the way we treat or view ourselves. meaning.. those who are willing to go out of their way to attack a person for absolutely no reason, ultimately feel that they need to. either because, they don’t have enough love for themselves, to be consumed within themselves and their own positivity, or, simply, they hate themselves just as much as they hate me. and not personally, but mainly, their views of life are formed in a negative and hateful way.. more often than not. idk.. maybe i’m getting too ahead of myself. or maybe i make sense and i’m afraid no one will understand it. lol. but anyway. idk. i’m just glad i got to get these things off my chest because i feel like my readers.. and supporters.. or those who just fuck with me, for whichever reason.. are always looking forward to hearing from me. and i’m trying to, again, be more accepting of the fact that not everyone is going to always like my shit. my writing. my poetry. my points of view. my ideas. and that’s okay. that doesn’t make me any less of an artist or woman or idealist.. and that doesn’t make whomever else any less than either. i’m thankful. for these moments of clarity because they really ground me and put me back in my place. i get to reflect on how i’ve sabotaged my own life.. and i pray that god help me heal from it. the reality of this all is.. i’m my own worse enemy. and i have been.. for most of my life. and i know this because i would have never ever allowed myself to go through all the hardships that i did. i would have never allowed myself to not only deal with half the people i’ve dealt with - but also.. i wouldn’t have allowed myself to be as affected by negativity as i was. all i was doing, and all i’ve been doing, is place energy in places and spaces that my energy was never meant to be. 2016 was the ending. i firmly believe this because there is always a storm before a sunny day. there were times last year when i thought i was out of touch with myself and i couldn’t hear god as clearly as i’m used to.. but really.. s/he was with me all along. guiding me to this place i’m in now. this place of - understanding, acceptance, and gratitude. i’m finally understanding that sometimes we go through shit. sometimes a lot of shit. but what we go through doesn’t define us. it shapes us into the people that we’re ultimately meant to be. stronger. wiser. and happier.. if anything. i’m finally accepting that some things, many things, are out of our control. but we have much more control than we think. the way we react to life will result in our karma. we can choose how to react and ultimately this will help affect all of our situations moving forward. i’m also learning to accept people as they are. everyone will do as they please. and not everyone will be considerate of mine, or anyone else’s, feelings. in knowing this, i have to constantly remind myself to not take anything personal. the longer i feed into other peoples negativity, the longer i’ll be miserable. misery is the result of not fully understanding or not fully having control over certain situations. but the more intuitive we are.. the easier it will be to keep away from misery. and finally.. i’m grateful for the one friend i had all along.. whom i never give enough credit to. my best friend and boyfriend. every single tear that came strolling down my cheek.. he was always here to help wipe and then uplift me. the more silence i become the more he encourages me to speak. even if he, himself, doesn’t fully understand. i’m grateful to god for showing up in all forms. people. places. numbers. symbols. etc. i cannot be anymore thankful for my relationship with god. for not only helping me get through one of the best/worst years of my life.. but also.. for giving me the strength to open up about it. knowing.. that everyone’s perception of me is that i’ve “got it all together.”
—  Reyna Biddy
“You Want me to Lick Your Face?”

Thank you to @senselesssamii for tagging me in her Gag Reel Challenge! I had a lot of fun writing this. My prompt was “You want me to lick your face?” 

Summary: Y/N is bored and decides to play a prank on her sleeping boyfriend.

Pairing: Dean x Reader, Sam 

Warnings: Prank, Pissed Dean, Cussing, a tiny bit of smut I guess

Originally posted by itsokaysammy

Everything was silent in the bunker. Sam, Dean, and I finally were finally able to have a tiny break before our next hunt, so naturally we came back to the bunker for a couple of days. Sam was in the library reading, Dean was taking a nap, and I was obviously bored. I had done my laundry and cleaned up my room but I need to do something to keep myself entertained. I walked into the kitchen and hoped I would be able to find something to eat but as soon as I opened the door to the refrigerator, an idea came to mind.

I walked into the library and cleared my throat, “Sam I need your help.” Sam put down his book and brought his face to meet mine, “what’s up (Y/N)?” I smiled at Sam and pulled the can of whipped cream from behind my back, “I was thinking that we should play a prank on Dean.” Sam laughed. “I’m glad it’s not me this time and so what exactly is the whipped cream for?” “Well since Dean is sound asleep on the couch, I was thinking we should either A. get a paper plate and shove it in his face or B. put it on his hand and tickle his nose.” Sam seemed interested, “I don’t know (Y/N).” I put on my best puppy eyes, “please Sam, I’m dying of boredom here.” Sam gave in quick, “Fine. I’ll help you but we should go with plan A.”

Sam helped me find a paper plate and sprayed what was left of the whipped cream on the plate. As we slowly inched towards the couch were Dean was fast asleep, one arm over his chest and the other holding the remote to the TV by his side. I looked at Sam, “Okay on three.” Sam nodded and I got closer to the older Winchester’s face, Sam mouthed “one…two…three.” I smashed the whipped cream into Dean’s face and almost ate shit trying to move before he could catch me. Not even a minute later Dean yelled, “What the fuck?” Sam and I started laughing and Dean groaned, “that’s it, you guys are going to get it.” Dean removed the whipped cream from his eyes and immediately made eye contact with me, and I instantly started running.

I stopped running and found myself in the kitchen, I panicked and ran behind table hoping I’d be able to make a break for it when Dean comes in. Finally Dean walked in and saw me giggling and you both tried to shuffle around the chairs, but Dean was fast and caught me by the waist before I even left the kitchen. Dean saw the whipped cream can on the counter and tried to spray the empty can on the top of my head, but realized it was empty. Dean gave up, “Damn it (Y/N).” Sam came in right as Dean realized it was gone and started laughing. “Gotcha real good didn’t I Dean?” Dean nodded in annoyance, “Oh don’t worry sweetheart, I’m gonna get you just you wait.” “Good luck hun,” I winked at Dean and walked away satisfied.

….

It was midnight and I found myself walking towards the kitchen to get a snack, I heard Dean’s voice and figured he was doing the same but as I walked into the kitchen Dean was nowhere in sight. I shrugged and made my way to the refrigerator to eat some of the leftover cookie dough that was calling my name. The only thing was is that I couldn’t find it, then I heard “looking for this?” I turned around and was met with a cold sticky sensation across my face. I gasped at the surprise and then opened my eyes when I felt Dean smear the dough in my hair. “You son of a bitch.” Dean just stood there and looked me up and down with that smug smirk on his lips. I was contemplating on killing the bastard but then settled on grabbing the glass of water on the sink and threw it at him. Next thing we know we are both in a fit of laughter trying to clean up the giant mess we made.

Dean was cleaning up the water on the floor and I was picking up cookie dough that landed on the floor. After we were done I turned towards Dean, “Will you help me get this stuff off of my face?” Dean walked towards me, “You want me to lick your face?” I smiled at him, “As appealing as that sounds, I’ll have to take a raincheck Winchester.” Dean smiled and got closer to me so he wipe off the cookie dough, but first he grabbed a large chunk and ate it. “You’re gross.” Dean smiled and pulled me closer to him. “Yeah but you’re sweet.” I pulled him in for a quick kiss.

After Dean managed to get the cookie dough off of my face, I walked towards the hall but not before turning around to find Dean staring at me. “I’m going to take a shower, feel free to join if you’d like,” I winked innocently and turned back towards my room. It wasn’t long before I heard footsteps behind me. He caught up to me and as soon as we got into the shower Dean insisted on washing my hair since he turned my head into a cookie pan. Dean was being so gentle with me and then it was quickly erased as soon as Dean pinned me up against the wall and started sucking on my neck.