going to puke everywhere

Daddy Husband ! Namjoon

• he’s rich af 

 • he’s a CEO of this book authorizing company or whatever 

 • he’s father set him up on a lot of arranged marriages 

 • fighting he’s father all that time like actually squaring up 

 • fancy thing fancy that 

 • but he lives he’s whole life online 

 • he’s a lonely son of a bitch 

•you two met on a website 


 • you where being a hoe on the website because ur booty fat and you cute or whatever 

 • but then you came across his little nerdy picture that he took two years ago and you needed a new side side side side side man 

 •"pussicwater: hey big egg roll zaddy”

 •"richmoneyboii: excuse me, that’s very inappropriate young lady.“ 

•"pussicwater: wtf are you? You sounded like my history teacher.“ 

•"richmoneyboii: sounded??" 

 •"pussicwater: I maybe sucked some dick and ruined his life and maybe I can ruin yours big eggy." 


 • and he never went on that site again 

 • he went to to this old café that was near his house 

 • he saw this fat ass in skirt bend over a table while cleaning, long curly hair that was above that ass seemed to smell like fruits. 

 • he went over there and tapped you on the shoulder 

 •He saw your cute ass 

 •he freaked out.

• but then you smiled that big open mouth toothy smile his heart freaked out

• him asking you out without him really asking you out

• regret took over his body that night

• he dressed really crappy to to the date

• he tried acting like a total asshole 

• but that didn’t seem to work on you

• on your second date it was magic

• so much love in the air

• you two went ice skating 

• he really didn’t know how to skate so you taught him

• he held onto you like a baby to it mother

• he fell and pulled you down with him and he leaded on top of you

• boner

• that night sex went down against the wall of the empty ice rink 

• he would have you naked against the glass wall face first while he lifts your leg and thrusts into you

• you would still have your ice skates on

• you two would have sex everywhere in that ice rink

• you not knowing he’s rich 

• innocent little soul you

• your next date was at an amusement park 

• you two when went on every ride there

• wore matching head bands

• you two fucked in Ferris wheel chart

• and carved your name in that chart

• but you two forgot a condom 

• the next day you were puking 

• pregnancy tests everywhere

• screaming

• going on dates and you seem less passion about them

• namjoon knowing right away 

• you telling him 

• him freezing for a good 10 minutes before taking deep breathes and being a bigger man being a dad

• calming you down and telling you that he wont leave you and shit

• telling you that he’s rich

• going two the ultrasounds and you and nurse making fun of him 

• finding out you’re having triplets

• crying cause no sleep

• six mouths later

• namjoom making fun of you when you waddle 

• he calls you mama bear because you growl like a bear and eat a lot

• you shoving your feet up his ass when he bugs during sleep

• him staying up with you at night to makes sure you don’t feel lonely

•he gets stomach like you in the middle of the night

• he fixs your messy buns 

• loves putting his arms around you and placing his hands onto your big belly

• a lot belly kisses

• moving into a nice well sized house together 

• 3 more months later

• here comes these mixed crying babies

• two girls one boy

• naming your first girl that came out Zowie Xiu Kim, 2nd girl: Apollo Viviana Kim and the last one which is a boy : Xzander Agnese Kim

• taking thousands of pictures of them

• having 20 photo albums

• you finding him sleeping with them in his arms when you come back from work

 •breaks the baby bottles all that time 

 • thank god he’s rich 

 • would switch your babies with someone else’s babies at times when he went to the park 

 • coming home with the wrong babies 

 • him returning them faster then sonic 

• you finding out and fighting him

• hiring a babysitter aka Jimin

• you two taking the babies to the park and showing them a whole new world

• making them and namjoon wear monkey outfits 

• you taking them to the company 

• everyone loving them

• when they turned 7 you two soon realized they grow up and started crying

• namjoon crying when he hears his daughter was fighting some girl at school

• you and daughter tag teaming him when wrestling and winning

• taking them to the same  amusement park 

• you two laughing when you went on the same chart and saw the carving 

• you all taking a picture by it

• you two being so blessed and happy 

• kissing and grossing out your kids

• namjoon not knowing what he would do if he haven’t met you

• “ i love you mama bear,”

• “i love you egg roll zaddy.”

• “eww, you two are gross.”

Nette~ this one hit me in some how places like namjoon as a dad wow

Dare - Ashton Irwin Fanfic - Part 25

Part 24

Summary: You and your neighbour Ashton never really got along until he decided to change that, making you two the most unlikely set of best friends. Both of you are dancing on the edge of desire but the question is, who will slip first?

Word Count:4.2K

Me and Ashton were almost home from the hospital. This was the first time I’d really been away from dad since I got there and it felt strange. My life had been spent in that room for the past week or so and it was like I had completely forgotten about the outside world. I suddenly realised that everything just plods along as it always does, even if I’ve stopped. It was a little unsettling for me to be out of that bubble.

We had just picked up a few bits from the grocers and Ashton had ordered the take out to be delivered from the good place across town. As we walked past people I’d suddenly become acutely aware of how much TLC I was desperately needing. Walking around with three day old hair and a very questionable cardigan that I’d had on for longer than I’d like to admit was starting to play on me.

“Come on, move your butt. I really need a shower and a fresh pair of pyjamas on.”

I weaved ahead of him, quickening my pace when I could see the familiar building coming into view as we rounded the corner.

“Oh, so now you believe me about the stink?” He asked rhetorically.

“Just hurry your arse so I can start to feel human again, or I’ll not shower and I’ll sleep next to you with the thickest pyjamas I own on. Then you’ll know what smelly really is.”

“In that case…” he grabbed the only bag of groceries from my hand and placed the plastic bag between his teeth since his hands were full, before sprinting off in front of me. Idiot.

I shook my head and skipped after him. I’d missed him. He hadn’t went anywhere, he’s actually been by my side most of the time, apart from working and sleeping. I just felt like I hadn’t spent time with him I’m ages. I missed the simple comfort of him. I liked being around him because I liked me when I was around him. I liked the way he brought the best out in me, I was happier and more myself than I ever was alone.

“Ladies first” he held the door open for me and I nodded a thanks at him before taking the stairs two at a time. My grandparents had already went back home last week but I hadn’t moved my stuff back from Ashton’s yet obviously. I’ll be able to move it once Dad gets out the hospital but for the time being I guess we’re back to being roomies. I didn’t mind too much, he was the easiest and best roommate ever. He cooked and cleaned and he was always doing little thoughtful things for me, like folding my laundry and getting that cheese that I like. He was just a total sweetie that was too good for me. I got to the top of the stairs and puffed out a breath before something caught my eye. I tuned my head to see this beautiful arrangements of flowers in front of my door. They were in a quaint little garden tin pot. It was filled with colour, bright green and brilliant yellows making my eyes open a little more as I tried to take them all in. It was beautiful. I picked out the little card that was held in place with a clip amongst the flowers.

Keep reading

I’m on the verge of throwing up from pain and this cat who likes to hang out in my backyard is getting into a loud argument with my cat through the screen door and now I have to go downstairs and shut them up while almost puking everywhere is this what parenting is like

Imagine #60: Grounded (Luke Hemmings)

Requested: Yes

Word count: 1165

Story line: You’re Luke’s sister and you went to a party. Luke is worried and he calls Ashton when you’re not answering your phone, and after a few hours, you come home really drunk.

A/N: Narrated from Luke’s POV. And this was going to be just imagine about Luke lecturing you but it turned out a little bit different with Ashton there. It’s really subtle the second plot.

“Calm down, she’s going to be okay”, Ashton assured me while he squeezed my shoulder, trying to comfort me. “She just probably doesn’t know what time is it”. I wished Ashton was right because if something had happened to my little sister while I was in charge, my parents were going to kill me. Well, I was going to kill myself before that happened.

I didn’t think anything would happen when she asked me to go to that party. She went to parties before and nothing happened but it seemed that the universe hated me because for the first time in her life, Y/N was being super late. “Man, I’m going crazy”, I murmured. I called Ashton, desperate, when I saw that Y/N wasn’t coming home at the hour we agreed. He came as fast as he could, and he waited with me. He advised me that we couldn’t call the police because she was only being late a few hours. He suggested me to go for a drive and try to find her but what if she came home while I was gone?

I covered my face as I felt a huge desire to cry. I would never forgive myself if something happened to my sister. Ashton squeezed my shoulder a little bit harder, trying to calm me down, but nothing was working. I was feeling sick, like if something was missing, as if something really bad was going to happen. And just when I thought I was going to puke because of the nerves, I heard a big noise in the front door. Ashton and I got up immediately and we almost ran to the door. When I opened it, I saw Y/N in the ground, laughing her ass off. “I can’t believe it”, I mumbled, while my worry turned into irritation. “I can’t fucking believe it”.

“Why are you upside down?”, she slurred. I looked at Ashton and he was pressing his lips together, trying not to laugh. “Oh, upside down you’re even cuter”, she said, looking at Ashton.

“Okay, let’s put you in bed”, Ashton said, laughing. I didn’t laugh because I didn’t find anything of that funny. Ashton helped me to put her in bed and as soon as her back hit into the mattress, she fell asleep. “I’m gonna stay”, Ashton said when we left the room.

“You don’t have to”, I said and I noted that my voice sounded really tired. I was tired, to be honest. I wanted to sleep, to forget everything that had happened.

“You’re going to need help. Your sister is going feel sick within minutes, and she’s going to start puking everywhere. Believe me, if you don’t want to kill her, it’s better if I stay”. I didn’t argue with Ashton because, truth be told, I was so mad that I was feeling that at any moment I was going to burst into my sister’s room to lecture her about what she had done.

At the end, I thanked Ashton for staying because Y/N didn’t let us sleep at all. As Ashton said, she woke up a few minutes after, feeling really sick and she started throwing up all the alcohol she had ingested.

About five o’clock, she felt asleep; that time for real. Ashton and I sleep just only for few hours, because we had things to do in the morning. Because I didn’t want to go anywhere until my sister woke up, we stayed home and we did our writing session in there. And finally, around noon, she woke up. When she came downstairs, she was a complete mess. Her hair was all messy and she looked really sick. I felt bad for her because I knew what was being hungover but she needed a lecture and I needed to ground her, because she was my responsability for that month and she needed to understand what she had done was wrong.

Ashton got up from the sofa, he kissed my sister’s forehead and told her to sit down with me. “I’m going to prepare you some breakfast”, he said while my sister made a disgusting face. “Yeah, I know. But you have to eat”. Ashton took care of my sister like it was his and I couldn’t be more happy to have him by my side. He helped me everytime I didn’t know what to do with her and, fortunately, my sister seemed to pay more attention to his words than mine, so if my lecture didn’t work with her, Ashton was going to do it.

“You don’t need to tell me anything. I know”, she said while she slumped on the couch.

“What do you know? That you made my night a living hell?”. She rolled her eyes. “Don’t roll your eyes at me!”, I said, raising my voice. “I was really worried about you because I didn’t have a fucking clue where you were! You weren’t answering your phone, you weren’t at your friend’s house as you said and you came home absolutely drunk!”. Her eyes widened when she saw how mad I was. “Mum let me in charge of you, you know? You’re my responsibility and I thought something bad had happened to you. I was really desperate, Y/N. I called Ashton because I didn’t know what to do. I was going to call the police, for fuck’s sake”. I covered my face, as I felt the exhaustion of the night over me.

“I.. I…”, she mumbled, not knowing what to say.

“You, what?”, I spat.

“I… I’m sorry, Luke. I wasn’t expecting to get drunk, seriously. I didn’t drink that much, I promise!”. She seemed really sorry and that softened me. I was going to use a different tone because I was feeling bad for her when I remembered that I needed to make a point. I sighed and I shook my head.

“You disappointed me, like big time, Y/N. You’re grounded until mum and dad come home and you’re not leaving the house without me. I don’t care if you ruin my plans or you get bored, I’m not leaving you alone again”. I got up from the couch and I was about to go upstairs when I saw Ashton enter to the living room with a dish with eggs and pancakes, and a glass of water with a pill for the headache.

“Don’t be angry at your brother, he was really worried about you. And you really messed up this time”, he said, leaving the dish in the table. “Come on, eat, take the pill, take a shower and sleep a little more. You’re going to feel bad for a couple days but you’re going to survive”, he said, smiling at the end. She looked at him and sighed.

“Thanks, Ashton”. Ashton bent to kiss her forehead again and left her there, while I hurried up to go upstairs because I didn’t want him to know I was looking.

anonymous asked:

Okay. So I have a very long story to tell you, but I think you might want to hear it. I was really nervous about my autograph session with misha today. I wanted to tell him that he's helping me try to stop self harming (weird wording I know). I was really nervous about it, because I wasn't sure how he would react. While we were waiting in line, all the volunteers stressed that misha was not going to be able to personalize his autographs.


I was a little sad about that, but at least I was still going to meet misha. Anyways, it’s finally my turn and I feel like I’m going to puke everywhere. I walked up to him and shyly smiled, trying to work up the courage to spit out my words before I could wimp out. I introduced myself and this is what I said. “Hi! I’m (my name)! I wanted to thank you. You were talking during the panel about how you wanted to help people and I wanted to tell you that you’ve helped me so much.” At this point my hands are shaking really bad, I feel like I’m going to pass out, and misha is intently listening to me. I look at him, apologized and explained that I was very nervous, and he gave me an encouraging smile. Finally I was able to say something along the lines of “you’ve helped me a lot. You’ve helped me, as im trying to stop self harming. So thank you” I could hear my voice cracking, knowing I was about to start crying at any moment. I can’t remember my exact words because I was tripping up and trying to sort out my sentence, but obviously he understood what I was saying. He took my hand and squeezed it while looking into my eyes for at least 20 seconds. This action alone spoke to me so much. My eyes began to tear up a little. He said “keep it up”. At this point I watched him sign his name on the photo, knowing he couldn’t personalize it, but he did something that still moves me when I think about it. He asked my name. I watched, shocked, as he wrote a message to me. That’s when my eyes completely filled with tears and I looked at him one last time, squeaking out

So my anon stopped telling me the story at this point (SERIOUSLY WHAT HAPPENED NEXT) but can I just say, Misha, you are a beautiful soul, and the world is better because you exist in it.

If I can help just one person in the way Misha has helped so many, I will consider this blog a success. This amazing, wonderful, LOVING human being inspires me every day.

And anon, I am so, so proud of you for stopping your self-harm! You keep on fighting. You’re doing really well, and I know you’re going to beat your illness and live a full, happy life!