going to my room to cry

anonymous asked:

My mom told me to gather up some laundry (my room is a mess and I'm wearing my only clean underwear rn) and I just looked at my floor and felt like crying. I managed to gather it up and then just laid on my bed for a while because I couldnt get myself to go all the way to the basement to put it in the washer. I think it was b/c executive dysfunction but idk and idk how to explain it beyond "I want to do the thing but cant do the thing right now" and I ended up crying b/c I had to do laundry?

This does sound like executive dysfunction. A good way to explain it when you’re feeling like this specifically is “I’m really overwhelmed and I can’t do the next step.” Most people understand that when they don’t understand wanting to do something and not being able to make it happen.

-J

I am watching the election at school with my students and other teachers. My students started the night out with laughs, eating pizza, asking to take selfies with me in the election theme photo booth– it was cute, fun, happy things these children should be doing on a festive Tuesday night.

Now, as the night has gone on, I have seen my students’ laughter turn into terror. Several have come up to be crying, shaking, some in full blown panic attacks. They keep asking me “Ms B, is everything going to be ok?” and that might be the hardest question I’ve ever had to answer in my 23 years because I don’t have an answer. I don’t know how to tell them that I, the supposed calm and collected adult in the room, don’t know if things are going to be ok either.

Boundaries
  • Ladynoir:
  • Ladybug: Oh my goodness Chat *flings herself across his stomach* I am menstruating so hard right now.
  • Chat Noir: Gross, get off me.
  • Ladybug: Shhh heating pads don't talk.
  • Chat Noir: *pats her head sympathetically* I'm here for you, Ladyboop.
  • Adrinette:
  • Adrien: *has been left alone in a room with Marinette and has no idea what to say*
  • Marinette: *sitting several feet away from him, wide-eyed, blushing*
  • Adrien: *panicking* So... how's life?
  • Marinette: Oh, heh, you know. Lifelike. *screams internally*

this is definitely my favorite photo of all time. so when i went up to them i was telling misha what i wanted to do in our picture & i realized jensen wasn’t listening because he was doubled over laughing which was absolutely amazing to witness jensen ackles laugh that hard right in front of me & i grabbed his arm & said “are you okay?” & he said “yeah i’m good” so then i started explaining the pose & i said i wanted to interlock fingers so jensen puts his hand up in front of me & naturally i grabbed it & then realized that i was just awkwardly holding his hand & staring at it so i let go & showed misha what to do & then everyone in the room just went “AWWWW” & i felt like crying then when i turned to say thank you jensen ackles winked at me. best day of my life.

feel free to crop me just give me credit!!

some fun things about living in an abusive household

  • constantly monitoring where everybody is in the house
  • quiet crying
  • and what they’re doing
  • ‘i want to lock my door but i don’t want to seem like i want to lock my door’
  • not getting dinner 
  • haven’t gone to school in a month 
  • always listening for footsteps
  • not getting lunch 
  • sneaking into the kitchen to get food
  • holding your pee so u don’t have to go to the bathroom and see your abuser(s)
  • own personal pantry in your room 
  • crying because your pet is near the abuser(s) and you can’t get them
  • no breakfast
  • hiding any form of injury/illness 
  • afraid to ask for anything 
  • angry laundry folding
  • i want to take a stand so I won’t clean this 1 (one) fork 

please feel free to add on

i look in the mirror, bags under my eyes, my hair up in a messy bun. heavy sadness in my eyes. baggy clothes. i just don’t care what i look like, i don’t care about anything

“you need to eat, you’re loosing weight like crazy.” yeah except i’m not hungry at all. i feel sick all the time. so i just keep drinking my powerade.

my eyes are bloodshot from crying for hours. my mom lays there with me and let’s me cry and tries to comfort me. the headaches always there.

i try to talk to new guys but nobody makes me feel anything. all i see is him when i close my eyes. i can’t escape him.

i go into my room and open the box with the note he wrote. “i’ll always love you.” i’m filled with anger as i throw things against the wall in a rage. just being in this room feels like the ghost of him is still here. how can someone love you so much, then they just don’t anymore?

i just want to sleep but i can never stay asleep. i wake up at 230 everyday and can never go back to bed. i’m so tired. my mind and body. is this what it feels like to die? because that’s what this feels like. it’s so much effort to make it through the damn day.

tick
tick
tick

waiting for time to go by because that’s what heals you right? so i wait and i wait. then i realize i have been staring at the wall for 20 minutes. how did i not notice?

“come out with us it will be fun!” i don’t want to go, i have to make myself. i don’t even know what fun is anymore. but i try, i plaster on the fake fun. because nobody wants to see the sad girl who can’t get over the guy who left her suddenly. so i pretend. but i feel like i’m suffocating the whole time. it’s exhausting to pretend.

when people talk about love, they never mention this part. it amazes me how one single person can destroy you and strip away everything that you are. i think of the girl i used to be. i want so badly to get back there. i worry that i’ll never be her again. and deep down i know that i won’t be. i know that i’ll survive, i’ve seen it in many others. it just nearly kills you in the process.

—  Chapters from my life

“I was halfway up the stairs an hour later when I realized that I still had no idea what room to go to. I’d gone to my bedroom since we returned from the cabin, but…what of his? With Tamlin, he’d kept to his own rooms and slept in mine. And I supposed- I supposed it’d be the same.”

This scene breaks my heart every time because ever after everything Feyre has been through, even after Rhys has told her how much he loves her, she still believes Rhys doesn’t even want to share a room with her. Excuse me while I go cry in a corner.

Yuuri and Phichit being late night bros is my jam

Like they hang out late at night in their room and tell each other secrets and do that sleep over thing and spill their fears and dreams and crushes, and maybe how they probably miss their families

They listen to bad covers of Madonna and try to make pork cutlet bowls in their dorm kitchen at 2 in the morning.

At 3 they go online look at old social media posts and laugh until they cry because being a teen and online is ridiculous. Yuuri has Bad Doodles posted online of his OC’s and Phichit posted about how he was 14 and ‘an adult now mom’ and could have as many hamsters as he wanted (he does).

Yuuri reveals how more than anything he’s afraid of disappointing everyone and Phichit tells him all he really wants to do is make Thailand proud, like, that’s all he really wants.

And they kiss a little and hold hands under the covers, since they’re bros and bros can do whatever they want.

Late night sleep over Yuuri and Phichit.

among other things @cockbiteproductions​ and @benjaminkenobi​ found on rabbit today:

Birthday Wish - Peter Parker x Reader

Imagine for @hownottodie101 - hope you enjoy it! xo

Request: Hey!! Can you do anything cute and fluffy with Tom Holland’s Peter Parker? Something reader x Peter. Tia:)


Originally posted by khylinrhambo

After making your wish, you leaned over and blew out the 16 candles that covered the cake. You met the eyes of your mother who looked as if she were going to cry.

“Mom, I’m only 16. Don’t start packing my bags and meeting with suitors yet.” You laughed and she blinked away her tears.

“I’m sorry, I’m just thinking about this very day 16 years ago.” She sniffled. 

“You mean the day you cursed me out in the delivery room and said you hated me?” Your father winked at you and your mother smacked him on the arm. 

“Hey hon, where is that camera your grandmother sent you? You know she’ll want to see some photos from tonight.” 

“When will she get a cell phone?” You rolled your eyes and excused yourself from the table.

You headed straight for your closet to look for the camera package that was most likely buried under your clothes. Once you found it, you stuffed your shoes and clothes back in and headed for the bedroom door.

In the corner of your eye, you saw a figure sitting on your bed, causing you to shriek.

Your boyfriend Peter sat with a grin on his face.

“(Y/N)? What is it?” Your dad called up the stairs.

“Oh it’s nothing, dad. I just saw a spider.” You smirked and closed the door. You crossed the room and tackled Peter in a hug, pulling away to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Very funny.” He sneered. “Y’know, you really shouldn’t leave your window open all the time.” 

“I’ll try to be better about that. I wouldn’t want to find some creep in my bed.” You gave him a playful shove and he laughed.

“I wanted to see you on your birthday.” He took your hand and placed a small blue box in your palm. “And I wanted to give you this.”

You looked up at him with a sheepish smile. “You really didn’t have to get me anything. You being here is enough. That’s actually what I wished for.”

“But I wanted to get you a gift. Open it!” He nudged your shoulder.

You lifted the lid and inside the box was a small, silver heart-shaped necklace lined with little jewels the color of your birthstone. Your heart swelled and a huge smile broke out onto your face. “It’s beautiful! Thank you so much, Peter.” 

“Read it.” He sounded nervous as he cleared his throat.

You gave him a confused look and pulled the necklace out of the box, flipping over the pendant. On the back in small engraved writing read “Love always, Peter”. 

Your stomach flipped and you felt your face burn. You looked up at him through your lashes and saw that his face was equally red, but still gleeful. 

“I’ve had so much fun with you these past few months. You’re the most interesting girl I’ve ever met. You’re so smart and so warm and kind and-and beautiful. I hate when we’re apart because I want to be around you all the time. You make my days so much brighter and…I’m in love with you.” He finished. 

Your heart felt like it was going to beat right out of your chest. You never had any experience since Peter was the first boy to ever really show an interest in you, but what he was feeling, you felt too. 

“Please say something.” He chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. You smiled and leaned into him, giving him an eager kiss. 

You had kissed a few times before, but it was nothing like this. This one was deep and electrifying and you knew it would be one of the most memorable moments of your life. 

You finally pulled away and pressed your forehead against his, your (E/C) eyes gazing into his brown ones. “I’m in love with you too.” 

He smiled and pulled you into another kiss, this one much softer. His hand reached up and held your cheek, his thumb stroking it gently. Once again, the two of you pulled away and he tucked your hair behind your ear before planting a kiss on your forehead. “May I?” He tugged at the necklace that was still clutched in your hand.

You turned around and lifted your hair so he could hook the chain. Your hand reached up and grasped the heart as you beamed down at it. 

“Well…” He trailed off, looking disappointed.

“Well?” You looked at him in concern.

“I hate to say it, but I should go.”

You nodded, feeling sad that he couldn’t stay with you. “I understand. Everyone needs you.”

“Go enjoy the rest of your evening with your family. I’ll be back later, okay?”

The frown on your face was replaced with a grin. “You will?”

“Of course! I wouldn’t want to disappoint my girl on her special day.” 

You blushed at him calling you “my girl”.

“Bye, Peter!” 

He covered his cheerful face with the red mask and ducked out your window, disappearing into the night.


This is the first imagine I’ve written in a while, and I really enjoyed it! Requests are still open :)

2

songs for january 15th 2017 

15 songs to look back on these past three years and celebrate canon johnlock  

tracklist: watch me rise // sick of losing soulmates // stag night // cigarette daydreams // battle cry // lionhearted // elephant in the room // faint of heart // nothing’s gonna stop us now // history maker // go hard // uprising // the greatest // we found love // the x-files

Baby really hurt me
Crying in the taxi
He don’t wanna know me
Says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm
Says it was poison
So I guess I’ll go home
Into the arms of the girl that I love
The only love I haven’t screwed up
She’s so hard to please
But she’s a forest fire
I do my best to meet her demands
Play at romance, we slow dance
In the living room, but all that a stranger would see
Is one girl swaying alone
Stroking her cheek
—  Lorde - Liability
If the characters of Voltron were any of the things I've said

“That joke was so cheesy, I could’ve put it on my nachos.” - Lance

“Boi if you don’t take that back, I will hit you so hard that the pain will bypass you completely and mutilate your future children.” - Pidge

“Dude… dude, please don’t cry because then I’m gonna cry and I promise it’ll be a huge mess from there.” - Hunk

“Don’t go thinking you’re the scariest person in this room. I’m 5'1, and I’ve thrown my own brother. You haven’t seen the guy but he’s a good foot taller than me and I still don’t know how I managed” - Allura

*someone coughs* “Oh god, please don’t die, we need you. But if you do die, then same.” - Shiro

*someone shoves me in the hall* “WhO ThE FUC-” *elbows them back as hard as I can* - Keith

“Alright, so what you just did is unacceptable… by mom’s standards. But if we just pretend this never happened, and if you let me go for eating all the Sour Patch kids, she doesn’t have to know.” - Coran

“Are you saying that I’m conceited for thinking I own the world? Because I am, and I do” - Zarkon



Bonus:

“Man I just *raises voice slightly higher* LOVE traffic in the halls, it’s my favorite  *almost shouting* Now, if only people could just walk faster” - Shiro

4

OKAY. When I first started reading this, I thought, “YEAH BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW FUCKING FANTASTIC Manon realizing Dorian—someone who is not duty bound to her—loves her?! HOLY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT MOMENT!” But then you brought up Manon not being an annoying “damsel” of a pregnant lady and my brain shifted to, “CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW SHE’D TRY TO HIDE MOOD SWINGS?! THE EXCUSES SHE’D COME UP WITH TO LEAVE THE ROOM TO GO CRY FOR NO REASON?!” She would be hilarious and HEARTBREAKING, okay?!

Manon: (internally thinking “I just love Abraxos so much I could cry…oh shit I AM gonna cry!” She gets up to go hide.)
Dorian: “Witchling, where are you going?”
Manon: “Nowhere. Leave me alone.”
Dorian: (internally: “like hell” follows her.)
Manon: (crying) “WTF is wrong with me?! I’m embarrassing myself and I’m alone…but… Abraxos was my first baby” 😭😭😭
Dorian: “Manon? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?!”
Manon: (iron out) “WTF DORIAN?! I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE!”
Dorian: (internally “yikes. She’s never pulled the iron out for me before…”) “I was worried about you—”
Manon: “You were?!” (Tears up again)
Dorian: (internally: “hormones. This has to be hormones.”) “of course I was. Why are you crying?”
Manon: (UGLY CRIES) “I don’t knoooooow.” 😭😭😭
Dorian: (hugs her) “awe, witchling. It’s okay. Everything is okay.”
Manon: “I just love Abraxos so much, and I don’t want him to think I’m replacing him and then you said you were worried about me and oh my god ive never cried before in my life what’s wrong with me are you mad?”
Dorian: (smiles) “I could never be mad at you, witchling. I love you (Manon sobs harder). Abraxos won’t feel like he’s being replaced.”
Manon: “DID YOU ASK HIM?!”
Dorian: (internally: “WHERE THE FUCK IS ASTERIN WHEN YOU NEED HER?!”) “No, I didn’t ask him, witchling. Would you like to go see him? We can ask him together? Would that make you feel better?”
Manon: (sniffles) “…okay.”