going to beat this

Human Sayings are Weird

We have a lot of weird expressions.  Some are anachronistic, having come from a time and place that no longer exists, leaving us with a phrase that seems to have no context; one of these would be to “bite the bullet”, which referred to the practice of literally biting down on a bullet (or a piece of would) while someone operated on you/seared a wound shut, to keep yourself from screaming too much or biting your mouth and hurting yourself.  In an era of much more precise surgeries and anesthesia, the context no longer exists, but the phrase is still used.

Then there are phrases that are deliberately hyperbolic.  “I’m going to tan your hide”. for example, is a descriptive way to tell someone you’re going to beat them, but odds are good you’re not literally going to be tanning their hide.

So I was thinking that a group of enterprising aliens would form a betting pool around certain words and phrases; you can bet whether phrases are anachronistic, literal, or hyperbolic, and then the pool pays out when the phrase is confirmed one way or another.  

Which brought me to an amusing little scene in my head.

———

Malchior 7 was an incredibly hostile planet.  All the local flora and fauna had self-defense features that would kill most species.  It was advised, if you were determined to visit, to wear full haz-mat suits and bring at least one human.  Most dangerous of all were the dominant species, a carnivorous form of primate with near-sapient intelligence, clever enough to use tools and form societies, but either not intelligent enough or too violent to have dialog with outside races.

So when a scouting party was ambushed by a large warband of these primates, the alien members fled in terror, only realizing about twenty paces down the path that the humans were standing and fighting.  Their hazmat suits were already ripped from the beasts’ claws, and their guns hand been knocked from their hands, but the humans still fought, wresting the primates’ weapons from their hands and turning them on their creators.  One of the humans managed to get a firm grip on the ankle of one of the beasts, and began slinging him back and forth, using the primate as a flail to slam into his cohorts.

One of the aliens let out a warble of delight, hurriedly pulling out its comm device and beginning to record, while simultaneously opening a codex page and beginning to type.

“Gor’thax, this is hardly the time!”

“You don’t understand.  I am about to make SO.  MUCH.  PROFIT.”  The alien uploaded the footage to the codex, with the title “[VIDEO PROOF - LITERAL PHRASE] “I’m going to beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker.”“

anonymous asked:

Have you seen my suneater son. He looks adorable. Also Deku made me cry.. WHY

!!!!! I’ll be really honest here anon I currently have a lot of feelings and 90% of them are about Amajiki picking Kirishima it’s everything I didn’t know I needed in my life thank you Horikoshi I owe you

in season four keith is most definitely isolating himself from team voltron and joining the blade of marmora due to his abandonment issues…he thinks team voltron is going to leave him, so he’s beating them to the punch

I’ve just got this BNHA idea that after they graduate they all get into the hero business; Iida does his brother’s name proud: Bakugou actually calms down a little: Shouto is able to prove he’s so much more than his father’s son.

Meanwhile Deku is well on the way to becoming the next top hero and the new Symbol of Peace ( the public is relieved: the criminals are shitting themselves, especially after Deku “accidentally” reveals in an interview that he’s reached about 50% so far ).

But one day, Deku’s facing a villain with a tricky quirk- maybe they’ve taken hostages, maybe they can absorb the power of his attacks. Anyway, Deku’s desperately trying to think of a way to beat this guy, when-

-a ball of paper hits the villain in the head. Everybody, Deku, the villain, the bystanders, see this guy jump the blockade and yell “Hey, asshole!” 

The villain snarls, and roars back “You little-” and stops with a very familiar blank look on their face. Deku starts grinning as the newcomer pulls off a false nose and takes off a wig, then opens his jacket to reveal a hero costume.

And the public lose their collective shit at the realisation that they’re seeing the Hero with a Thousand Faces, who goes undercover and uses his brainwashing quirk to take down the villains from within. And as he tells the villain “Sleep”, the crowd goes wild for the sight of Shinso Hitoshi, the hero called The Word.

(Shinso gets on great with Deku: he jokes it’s like pairing a sledgehammer and a scalpel. Deku’s one of the few people who never hesitates to answer Shinso- when he asked, Deku just grinned and said “Well, I know I can trust a fellow hero!”)

not to be That Bitch and overanalyze every one of keith and lance’s interactions, but in season four episode one, lance was the most vocally upset about keith being away with the blade. obviously everyone else was, too, but lance kept bringing it up, saying keith was going to miss a show or team voltron couldn’t beat someone without him and like…we already know lance covers up a lot of what he’s actually feeling with lies/bravado/whatever, so i’m fairly certain that lance was upset keith wasn’t with team voltron not because of a subpar show or a hard villain to beat (though that’s probably partially it), but because, well, he likes keith.