“I can feel it all wash over me. The heat. The force. The radiation…the fear. It’s the end of the world - all over again. I close my eyes, I see my life before all of this. Before the bombs. Everything can change in an instant, and the future you plan for yourself shifts - whether or not you’re ready. At some point, it happens to all of us. This, wasn’t the world I wanted; but it was the one I found myself in. The Commonwealth, my home. Ripped apart, and put back together. I thought I…I hoped I could find my family. Cheat time. Make us whole again. The way we were. But now, I know. I know I can’t go back. I know the world has changed. The road ahead will be hard. This time, I’m ready. Because I know, war…war never changes.”
December 24th and we’re through again.
This time for good I know because I didn’t
throw you out — and anyway we waved.
No shoes. No angry doors.
We folded clothes and went
our separate ways.
You left behind that flannel shirt
of yours I liked but remembered to take
your toothbrush. Where are you tonight?
Richard, it’s Christmas Eve again
and old ghosts come back home.
I’m sitting by the Christmas tree
wondering where did we go wrong.
Okay, we didn’t work, and all
memories to tell you the truth aren’t good.
But sometimes there were good times.
Love was good. I loved your crooked sleep
beside me and never dreamed afraid.
There should be stars for great wars
like ours. There ought to be awards
and plenty of champagne for the survivors.
After all the years of degradations,
the several holidays of failure,
there should be something
to commemorate the pain.
Someday we’ll forget that great Brazil disaster.
Till then, Richard, I wish you well.
I wish you love affairs and plenty of hot water,
and women kinder than I treated you.
I forget the reason, but I loved you once,
Maybe in this season, drunk
and sentimental, I’m willing to admit
a part of me, crazed and kamikaze,
ripe for anarchy, loves still.
Lottie, my dude: is Days Without End gay? Is it satisfying? I'm getting queer found family vibes from the NYT review but also it's Literary so I'm not sure? Please advise
Days Without End is queer the way The Watchmaker of Filigree Street is queer - it sneaks up on you, and it’s so subtle and understated that it barely has any page time or bearing on the plot but it CATCHES YOUR HEART AND WON’T LET GO. I’m 200 pages into this 250-page book and if you put all the #queercontent back-to-back it would fill two pages max, but it’s the sweetest, softest two pages of #queercontent I’ve ever seen. (or, to look at it another way, the entire novel is queer start to finish because Thomas is queer start to finish, but as it’s a book that’s primarily about war and atrocities and hardship it seems disingenuous to sell it as a Queer Book.)
but for real, every single scarce, lovely sentence about Thomas and his beau makes my heart SING. there’s one bit a little over half way through that made me BURST INTO TEARS. they are pure and good and it cannot be undersold. ALSO - don’t quote me on this because I haven’t finished it yet - I’m almost sure that Thomas is transgender but doesn’t have the vocabulary or the knowledge to explain it. if anyone else has read it I would LOVE some OPINIONS on this! I would bloody love to talk about this book to anyone who can talk back! my family is sick to death of hearing about it! I’m about to force it on my book club!!! I’m one more #moment away from catching a ferry to Dublin to find Sebastian Barry and smush his cheeks in my overwhelmed hands!!!!!
tl;dr I want to cut my heart out and shove this book in there instead.
He always loved playing at heroes. Six years old with a stick in his hand playing at swordfights, sixteen years old with his fists seized tight playing at back-alley wars.
yeah. people like us, like you and me and him–i think we’re all born like that.
He didn’t know what he was signing up for. He was just playing at heroes still, but this time they put a gun in his hands and dropped him on a battlefield and said go.
that’s just the way it goes, Child. that’s the way war goes.
I know–I was there too. We were all just kids still playing at heroes with blood on our hands. But no one taught us how to stop, you know? They taught us how to play at heroes, maybe even how to be heroes, but no one ever taught us how to stop.
it’s not their fault. it’s nobody’s fault. they didn’t teach you because they didn’t know how. because there’s no way to stop. it’s easy enough to become a hero, Child, but you can’t ever stop being one. you can hurt and you can even die, sometimes, but you can’t ever stop. it doesn’t work like that. it never did.
But why did no one tell us? Why did no one think to warn us?
but Child, if we all knew, do you think there’d be any heroes left in the world?
Headcannons for Obi absolutely adoring your breasts and always giving them extra attention ;)
(Sorry these are short! They were all I could come up with for now. Also HELLO! I’m back, after not posting in WAY too long. I’m sorry, guys! I’m going to try to do better.)
The first time you and Obi-Wan make love, he spends a good while just absolutely worshipping your breasts.
He starts out by just caressing them, running his palms over them and just revelling in the feel of them.
Then his mouth works it way down to them, nipping softly at the skin there and running his tongue along your nipples, sucking and biting softly.
And, after you two make love, he rests his head against them, listening to your heartbeat and feeling them rise and fall with your breaths.
The next day, when he wakes up, he looks over the marks he left on them. Part of him feels guilty for the bruises, but a different, primal, part of him loves the marks, since they’re proof that you’re his.
The Assassin’s Creed series isn’t just a franchise. It’s an experience.
I remember all the way back in Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood when Lucy is talking to Desmond in Monteriggioni and she expresses her concern that the battle against the Templars may go on for a long time and that many people may die. 10 games later and I still remember that conversation and it has a real impact the games considering all the people that have died in the war against the Templars. It’s beautifully heartbreaking.
Am I the oldest Reylo shipper? I don’t know, but maybe now I’ll find out.
I was 25 when I saw Star Wars (it was only “Star Wars” back then) with my husband in a small neighborhood cinema. When we walked out, I was in a daze. What had I just seen? Truly, it was groundbreaking… a whole new genre with incredible effects and awesome heroes. Of course we had to go back and see it again. And then, ESB! Whoa.
Unlike some SW fans, I loved the prequels – well, not so much Phantom Menace (too much Gungan), but I had to watch it several times because my young son was mesmerized by it. AOTC is still one of my favorites of the whole series. Adored Hayden and Ewan in their roles in that and in ROTS. At the end of ROTS, I cried all the way home. Not only was the Mustafar duel epic and tragic, I believed I’d seen the very last Star Wars movie ever to be made. (Because George said so.)
Before ROTS came out, I traveled from New England to Celebration III in Indianapolis to meet a bunch of women I’d gotten to know in a Yahoo fan group. We came literally from all over the country and from Canada. It was one of the best weeks of my life. I saw some of my idols up close and got to ask Jake Lloyd a question. We all stood outside at 5 am in freezing rain just to hear Hayden call in from Italy. We all watched AOTC together the night before the celebration ended, and it was a raucous, religious experience! I made lifelong friends and flirted with stormtroopers. (see pic)
I was totally unspoiled for TFA. To be honest, I didn’t think I could possibly like it. We went to see it the day before our older son’s wedding in December, the weekend it opened. We were even late for the rehearsal dinner! (LOL) I loved the new characters but thought Adam was odd looking. (I’d never seen him before.) Naturally I had to go back and see it several more times. I became obsessed by the interrogation scene. I realized how handsome Adam was as Kylo Ren. I could not ignore the crackling intensity between him and Rey. And here I am, following you all on Tumblr. Thank you all so much for welcoming fans of all ages, ships, orientations, nationalities, genders, sexualities to the Reylo fandom. I have now seen TFA at least 15 times on Blu-Ray at home and it never gets old. I cannot wait for Episode VIII and pray we will see the development of a Reylo plot.
Today, my license plate reads: MTFBWY How old is this ardent fan? I am 65 next month - mother of three and grandmother of one. I feel as young (at heart) as I did when the OT came out. Star Wars forever!
(Pics: Celebration III in 2005. My light-up Star Wars mug in 2016.)
EDIT: To everyone who wondered who this awesome lady is, you can find her as @jedimistress on Tumblr :)
I haven't gotten around to reading it (I'm still too delicate from her death), but from the excerpts, I've seen, there's something that really bothers me about the Princess Diarist. Almost like it was a cry for help, an indirect way of saying "I'm still in pain," and that her humor was as much a means of deflection as it was a coping mechanism. Of course, I could be projecting here; I've been going through a lot of my own shit lately. Thoughts?
I think Carrie wrote about that time in her life last year because she was comfortable with it. I don’t think she was in a bad place at all, honestly. In fact, I think she was in a great place. She was back in the spotlight, she loved doing Star Wars again, she was writing and doing publicity and working on another movie and on a tv show. Her daughter is doing well on her own. Her mom’s health was… stable, apparently. She was in a good place, honestly. Carrie was strong as hell and she dealt with her troubles by writing them and making jokes of it - it was how she coped and I think she was doing fine. I truly do. But, to quote her, “I’m happy, among other things.” So… there’s that. :)
James Buchanan Barnes went to war and got captured by the enemy. Steven
Grant Rogers became Captain Amerian to save his childhood best friend
and that’s what he did. But after going through hell, could Bucky really
resume his life and live the way he used to before all of this
happened? Steve hopes so, therefore he brings him back to Bucky’s
favorite bar to go lady-hunting.
invisible!” Bucky exclaimed, defeated after the girl left.
second time tonight a pretty girl came up to Steve and him and
started cooing and giggling at Steve’s every word all the while
looking at him like he was the most delicious eye candy she had every
laid her eyes on. It was simply infuriating to see the roles swapped
turning into you, it’s like a horrible nightmare!” He realized the
irony of the situation.
Steve must have felt the whole time – every time Bucky charmed a
girl and he was left alone at the bar, not even drinking more than
one beer because he had such a low tolerance for alcohol. Now, only
God knows if he even could get drunk anymore with his super
solider serum filled blood. And the guy had the audacity to enjoy
himself right now!
Request: “Ben x Reader? Story where Ben never turns dark side and takes after his father. He meets the reader when he takes the millennium falcon out for a joy ride.”
A/N: First of all, I had no idea what gif to use so there’s that. Second of all, I used a good handful of Star Wars terms in this, such as ‘in Malachor’ or ‘Sleemo’…incase you don’t know what they mean you can ask me! Finally, I’m sorry for not posting requests in a while, I’ve finally had the chance to get back to it so here ya go! [GIF NOT MINE]
There was nothing more amusing and thrilling than taking the Falcon out for a joy ride. Sure, most of the time Ben went out on little adventures with his father here and there, Han passing down his ways of being a smuggler–except Ben wasn’t as sloppy–but there was no lie that Ben got himself into worlds of trouble. He literally would get himself into an unnecessary blaster fights (which, he always won), only giving Leia more of a reason to scorn her husband for being such an influence on her beloved son. “Alright, pops, I’ll be back in a bit…gotta get a few parts for the Falcon back on Corellia,” Ben saluted as he stood on the ramp, deciding to leave his good co-pilot Chewy behind. “Maybe this time we can fix those dangerous leaks for good and get some power converters.”
That was me who posted that ask about the featurette. I'm sorry it was misconstrued. I didn't mean to imply that I thought it meant that Steve was gonna die in IW. If anything, I thought that it might mean Steve not taking the mantle back, but doing something else instead (ie Nomad). Cuz, yeah I can't see Disney and CE parting ways for a while.
No worries, Anon. I’m just a mite bit frustrated. It’s left over anxiety from fandom pre-Civil War. Every movie we go through this and I don’t think fandom as a whole, not singling you out specifically at all, really gets, at times, that some of the things that happen in the comics can necessarily transfer well to film, especially in the case of legacy characters. Movie studios like Disney spend a lot of money trying to establish parasocial relationships between the audience and their characters. The stronger love the audience feels for a character the more invested they are in buying movie tickets and merchandising. Hell, Disney rose to the top of the food chain in Hollywood based on establishing these parasocial relationships between audience and character. From Mickey Mouse to Snow White to Elsa. They simply have too much invested in Steve Rogers to kill him off, at least permanently*.
And as a Steve fan, people being so bloodthirsty for his death gets pretty aggravating, which is why I get so frustrated that this happens every movie. Especially when Feige, himself, has confirmed that Evans is signed for ‘many more projects and for years to come’ and parts of fandom are still coming after Steve. It’s like, what?
That said, I wouldn’t mind some Nomad. I especially wouldn’t mind the outfit. ;)
*As a side-note, all of the Avengers die in the Infinity Gauntlet comic that the movie Infinity War is going to be based on. Tony, Thor, Bruce, Wanda, Peter and yes, Steve, are all very brutally slaughtered by Thanos (you don’t even want to know how some of these guys die, it’s harsh, way harsh). Within that same series, however, the universe gets reset and everyone who died comes back so at the end of it all no one actually dies.
Important things: In this AU, Gene never became a Shadow Knight. Dante never told anybody what Gene was planning on doing, and Gene ended up being able to erase the memories of the Lord or their village’s daughter. She and him are now married, and she has terrible short term memory loss from all the times Gene’s had to erase her memory. Her name was never said in the actual series, since she’s not important except for backstory, so I’ll call her Christine.
So, Gene isn’t a Shadow Knight, so the Shadow Knight have no way of erasing the memories of new recruits.
Shadow Knights start rebelling, wanting to go back to their own lives.
Other Shadow Knights just want to do what they’re supposed to do and help the Shadow Lord
War breaks out in the Nether between loyal Shadow Knights and those who want to go back to their old lives, White Knights. The Shadow Knights are lead by Zenix, and White Knights are lead by Sasha
Meanwhile, everything is mostly the same with Aph for a while. However, the village remembers what happened to the old Lord. The old Lord’s wife is still their too, taking care of Levin. She doesn’t want to take over as Lord, but Aph promises she’ll let Levin once he’s old enough.
Aph never knows Zenix, he left for the Nether long before she came
Zane is still a threat and everything with him still goes down
The first time she meets Dante isn’t when he helps Donna with the werewolves. Lucinda helps Donna, and Dante wasn’t there.
The first time they meet Dante, Dante attacks them.
Gene corrupted Dante, wiping away all his memories, and giving back little bits and pieces as long as Dante does whatever he says.
It’s never much, a name or some basic educational stuff you’d learn in school, but Dante is desperate for his memories back.
Dante and Christine are good friends, though, they’re their only friends. Still, it’s good to have someone to talk too.
Christine is actually the most precious cinnamon roll. She’s really nice to Dante too, and she bakes things for him sometimes and tries her best to tell him anything she knows about his past that she can remember.
Dante, in turn, reminds her about things she forgets.
They both try their best to keep Gene off the others back for as long as they can.
That’s it for now. Don’t want to spoil EVERYTHING. I kinda wanna write a fic about it.
the sound of her footsteps echoed along the empty corridor, loud and jarring in the quiet of the night. for all that’d been going on since the war’d started, this was truly the first time she’d felt panic gripped at her heart in the way that made it hard to breathe. to hear of such news would have been bad enough if she was back in her country, in the safety of her home with her family she loved and was loved by. her heart was hammering inside her chest as she came to a stop, her hand raising up to knock urgently at the door. even though she’d known that her brother was still safe and sound in his room, she still couldn’t help but feel the dread that spread through her as she waited for him to come get the door. “ will? it’s me. ”
Levi and Mikasa sitting on the couch with Levi’s arm wrapped around her, watching and listening to Eren and Armin who are sitting in front of them on the floor by the fireplace excitedly go on and on about their latest adventure as they all relax with hot drinks.
Levi coming back in the room later that night and finding Eren and Armin asleep there, so he brings them extra blankets. Mikasa notices and thinks he’s going to be a great father, and smiling to herself over his ways of caring about her friends.
Eren and Armin living with Levi and Mikasa whenever they aren’t out exploring, because they figured it wasn’t worth having a house of their own when they’re only back for a couple weeks at a time.
Eren and Armin building a secondary home by the ocean, and them, Mikasa and Levi, along with a few others that may still be alive after the war, all spending time there on the beach together.
Armin getting into painting to better remember his and Eren’s adventures, and eventually becoming really good, well-known artist.
Armin getting into other crafty things along with painting, the first sweater he knits has holes in places he didn’t intend to have holes. Eren wears it proudly, even though it embarrasses Armin.
Mikasa telling Eren and Armin that she’s a couple months pregnant when they come back from one of their explorations, and Armin starting to knit clothes for her baby.
Levi, Eren, and Armin all practically waiting on her every demand by the end of her pregnancy, she only puts up with it because she loves them, but she starts getting up in the middle of the night just to get some time for herself. Levi finds her and apologizes, telling her it’s just because they care about her.
Eren and Armin taking Levi and Mikasa’s child with them on an adventure when it’s old enough. Levi is very concerned and makes sure Eren and Armin know the consequences if anything happens to it. Levi doesn’t sleep that night until Mikasa assures him nothing will happen.
Eren and Armin seeing Levi be affectionate to Mikasa for the first time when they catch him smile at her and kiss her cheek, and their jaws dropping to the floor because they didn’t know he could be like that. Mikasa is confused because he’s always like that with her, or he tries to be, but he’s bad at love.
I had to post these because they’ve been sitting in my head for months. If anyone has any headcanons about these four, please send them to me because this post-war OT4 is very important. (Also, tagging monidon.)
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
“Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.””
“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.”
“You have to die a few times before you can really live.”
“I wanted the whole world or nothing.”
“Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains.”
“If you’re losing your soul and you know it, then you’ve still got a soul left to lose”
“Some lose all mind and become soul,insane. some lose all soul and become mind, intellectual. some lose both and become accepted”
“I felt like crying but nothing came out. it was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. but I think I have known it pretty often, too often.”
“I will remember the kisses our lips raw with love and how you gave me everything you had and how I offered you what was left of me, and I will remember your small room the feel of you the light in the window your records your books our morning coffee our noons our nights our bodies spilled together sleeping the tiny flowing currents immediate and forever your leg my leg your arm my arm your smile and the warmth of you who made me laugh again.”
“those who escape hell however never talk about it and nothing much bothers them after that.”
“the free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it - basically because you feel good, very good, when you are near or with them.”
“People with no morals often considered themselves more free, but mostly they lacked the ability to feel or love.”
“Nothing was ever in tune. People just blindly grabbed at whatever there was: communism, health foods, zen, surfing, ballet, hypnotism, group encounters, orgies, biking, herbs, Catholicism, weight-lifting, travel, withdrawal, vegetarianism, India, painting, writing, sculpting, composing, conducting, backpacking, yoga, copulating, gambling, drinking, hanging around, frozen yogurt, Beethoven, Back, Buddha, Christ, TM, H, carrot juice, suicide, handmade suits, jet travel, New York City, and then it all evaporated and fell apart. People had to find things to do while waiting to die. I guess it was nice to have a choice.”
“There’s nothing to mourn about death any more than there is to mourn about the growing of a flower. What is terrible is not death but the lives people live or don’t live up until their death. They don’t honor their own lives, they piss on their lives. They shit them away. Dumb fuckers. They concentrate too much on fucking, movies, money, family, fucking. Their minds are full of cotton. They swallow God without thinking, they swallow country without thinking. Soon they forget how to think, they let others think for them. Their brains are stuffed with cotton. They look ugly, they talk ugly, they walk ugly. Play them the great music of the centuries and they can’t hear it. Most people’s deaths are a sham. There’s nothing left to die.”
“when God created love he didn’t help most when God created dogs He didn’t help dogs when God created plants that was average when God created hate we had a standard utility when God created me He created me when God created the monkey He was asleep when He created the giraffe He was drunk when He created narcotics He was high and when He created suicide He was low
when He created you lying in bed He knew what He was doing He was drunk and He was high and He created the mountains and the sea and fire at the same time
He made some mistakes but when He created you lying in bed He came all over His Blessed Universe.”
"Would you be thirty minutes late to a wedding or a funeral?” “No.” “Why not, pray tell?” “Well, if the funeral was mine I’d have to be on time. If the wedding was mine it would be my funeral.”
“nobody can save you but yourself. you will be put again and again into nearly impossible situations. they will attempt again and again through subterfuge, guise and force to make you submit, quit and/or die quietly inside.
nobody can save you but yourself and it will be easy enough to fail so very easily but don’t, don’t, don’t. just watch them. listen to them. do you want to be like that? a faceless, mindless, heartless being? do you want to experience death before death?
nobody can save you but yourself and you’re worth saving. it’s a war not easily won but if anything is worth winning then this is it.
think about it. think about saving your self.”
“we know God is dead, they’ve told us, but listening to you I wasn’t sure.”
“We waited and waited. All of us. Didn’t the shrink know that waiting was one of the things that drove people crazy? People waited all their lives. They waited to live, they waited to die. They waited in line to buy toilet paper. They waited in line for money. And if they didn’t have any money they waited in longer lines. You waited to go to sleep and then you waited to awaken. You waited to get married and you waited to get divorced. You waited for it to rain, you waited for it to stop. You waited to eat and then you waited to eat again. You waited in a shrink’s office with a bunch of psychos and you wondered if you were one.”
“Stop insisting on clearing your head — clear your fucking heart instead.”
“Understand me. I’m not like an ordinary world. I have my madness, I live in another dimension and I do not have time for things that have no soul.”
“Do not ignore it. Fuck it. Cry your heart out. Then fuck it some more.”
“Basically, that’s why I wrote: to save my ass, to save my ass from the madhouse, from the streets, from myself.”
“I was a bore and didn’t know when to smile or fake it. Or rather worse, I did but didn’t.”
Can I request a Sebastian Stan imagine? The reader is wearing a revealing outfit & he gets overprotective? Or jealous ? ❤️
“Meet you at the club,” the text from Sebastian had said hours earlier. You, he, and the cast from Civil War were going out to celebrate the end of filming and he told you to meet him there since he’d be on set until it was time to meet up. You gave yourself a once over in the mirror, checking on your hair, makeup, and the tight red dress that clung to your frame. You slipped on your black heels, grabbed your purse, and made your way to the club.
You walked through the packed club and went back to the booth that the cast had all reserved for tonight. “Hey guys,” you yelled over the music to Anthony and Scarlet who were sipping on their drinks in the booth. “Where’s Seb?”
“He and Evans went dancing,” Mackie laughed. “Look for two people looking like they’re having strokes, that’s them dancing.”
“Will do,” you smiled and went to find Sebastian on the dance floor. You grabbed a drink on your way and found the two in the middle of the floor dancing like no one was watching. “Would you like to dance,” you said into Sebastian’s ear. He turned around and smiled seeing it was you…until he looked down at what you were wearing. He looked back up and around you and saw all the men eyeing you in the short, tight dress.
“I’d love to,” he took you into his arms and started dancing with you. “That’s a….tiny dress,” he chose his words carefully.
“I thought you like it.”
“I do, just not here.”
“Sebastian are you jealous?”
“How can I not be when every guy in here is looking at my girlfriend?”
“I guess we’ll have to make it clear that I’m with you and that’s not changing,” you suggested and he let out a chuckle.