goggle tans

its time to talk about overwatch beach day

so i know this has been talked about but like. i had some stupid ideas.

-Reinhardt definitely wears a speedo. he doesn’t give a shit. 

-Genji wears a shirt to the beach, and no one knows why. He says he’s embarrassed about showing his chest but ?????? he has no pants. also he never wears clothes?

-Reaper is the same except booty shorts.

-76 is dressed like a dad. Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts, and a visor. 

-Zarya finds a bathing suit that shows off ALL of her muscles.

-Mei wears those adorable 50s esque two pieces that are all frilly and polka dotted.

-McCree wears like normal swimming shorts but he still wears his hats and cowboy boots. it’s so stupid. 

-Ana wears a bikini because she’s got a hot mom bod and WILL show it off.

-Pharah can’t swim. She wears water wings with no shame, she’s got the inner tube and everything. 

-Tracer can’t go into the water because of her chronal accelerator, so she makes up for it with super adorable bikini’s. She gets sunburned hardcore. goggles tan.

-Widowmaker won’t go into the water, she just tans even though her skin won’t change. 

-Zenyatta just floats over the water. he’s having he time of his life. 

-Hanzo just sits in the shade, he doesn’t like to swim. but he’ll finally reveal his elusive second tiddy. He wears shorts but no shirt. lots and lots of sunscreen.

-Symmetra makes the most beautiful, intricate and amazing sandcastles. 

-Junkrat is the asshole who kicks them but then feels bad later and helps her make a new one.

-Roadhog floats on his back. all day. when he comes out, he’s clean, so he makes sure to roll around in the sand so has another reason to go back into the water. even though he still has his mask, he wears little goggles over top of the mask.

-D.va has a water gun, and she won’t stop spraying everything. Hanzo yells at her a lot because he doesn’t want to get wet but she doesn’t give a shit. She also has a super cute bikini with her logo on it, because why wouldn’t she?

-Mercy is the beach mom. She brings the snacks and 5 bottles of sunscreen. She also brought 3 giant umbrellas. She wears one of those comically large floppy sunhats, and have a very cute one piece bathing suit. 

-Torbjorn competes with Symmetra to make better sandcastles. It’s not a direct competition, but he just tries to one-up her the whole time. 

-Lucio obviously supplies the music, bringing a boombox to listen to his own music. He joins D.va with the water gun shenanigans. 

-Winston floats in the water with Roadhog. he has tiny goggles.

-Bastion can’t go in the water, so he sits under the umbrellas. He has a little sunhat that Mercy got for him and he loves it. He beeps along to the music, and beeps happily all day.

ok but consider magical schools in california:

- sea side schools being carved into rocky cliffs in the north and being at the pier heads in the south
- historically hispanic schools based around brujería
- spells being derived from french, spanish, english, chinese, vietnamese, filipino, japanese, native, and scandinavian witches
- the Los Angeles School of Wizardry (LASW?) being accessible through the metro ‘pink’ line which runs all day but is only accessed by a charmed TAP card
- LASW students having a deep tradition of charming murals around LA to move or sing
- witches and wizards performing on busy streets in LA and hollywood
- WIZARD FASHION MECCA
-enchanted clothes that always fit the way you want
- CLOTHES THAT CHANGE COLORS WITH THE SEASONS
- STYLISH SHIRTS THAT ARE COOL DURING THE SUMMER AND WARM DURING THE FALL
- north california witches and wizards using the marine layer to hide their schools
- northern schools also being hidden by the MASSIVE redwoods and include the vast ecosystems that come with them
- bigfoot and river sirens being humor mascots
- BANANA SLUGS (they’re not cryptids but they might as well be)
- coastal schools having their own groups of mermaids that adapt to their shore environment
-kelp forest mermaids, coastal wetland mermaids, rocky shore mermaids
- coastal schools having outrigger canoe teams, surf teams, and open water teams
- wizards performing acts at venice beach on the weekends
- student wizards and witches pranking each other by giving ridiculous moving tanlines
- mojave wizarding schools being disguised as abandoned theme parks and truck stops but really being gorgeous castles that howl with the winds at night
- other mojave schools being carved into mountainsides with abandoned mine shafts as their entrances
-teachers and students always being weary of first years going riding during full moons when the sky is bright and the wind is quiet
- first years always disappear around those times and never manage to come back, some say they get full moon sickness and never come out of the trance
- mojave schools using buggies and quads to get around
- desert wizards covered head to toe in winter with only their riding goggles showing but wearing only shorts and tanks with dust masks in the summer
- mountain wizard schools who dominate at quidditch because they train in the thin air
- mountain wizards having ski goggle tan lines from staying too long on the slopes
- mountain wizards lowkey being behind bigfoot legends because they have first years put on costumes to try and scare tourist campers
- all the regional schools teaming up every year to have a festival together where they compete at quidditch and lacrosse and celebrate
- the festival being disguised as a big summer fair that no-majs can really never find the dates for
- the destination for the festival being decided by that year’s quidditch champions

(that got really long really fast but there’s so much more that i skipped over)

Wet.

Nightcrawler x Reader One shot

Summary: Trashy flirting by the pool

A/N: I wrote this at 1am and it’s super shitty but oh wELL

The pool was crystalline clear and cold enough it made you feel as if every nerve in your body was alit. You love the chilliness that bites into your flesh, the water’s cool embrace as you swim, its steady weight beneath your hand good and familiar - the favorite part of each morning.

 As your reach the end of your lap, you notice a boy stretched out lazily in the sun, enjoying its  hot warmth against the back of his shoulder blades.

 “Kurt?” At the sound of your voice, his tail perks and he turns to face you.

 “Good morning!” he sits upwards, crossing his legs. “The professor gave us the day off, so I thought I’d try and get a tan, like Jubilee said.”

 Wiping the fog from your goggles, you laugh. “A tan? Kurt, you’re covered in blue fur - what good would a tan do?” Teasingly, you prop yourself up on the pool edge, arms folded beneath your chest. “Sure you didn’t come just to see me in a swim suit?”

 “I - that’s, uh -” blushing, he looks away. “You’re a really good swimmer.”

 “Well I should hope so,” you smirk, “or breathing underwater would be a pretty useless mutation.” Falling back into the pool, you smile and tighten the strap around your head. “Wanna race?”

“Nein,” he replies cheerily. “I like watching you better.” Then, as an afterthought, “In a not creepy way of course.”

 “Why not?” The sun continues to get higher in the sky, and soon, you know, you’ll have to get changed. It’s seemed decades since you’ve gotten any alone time with your favorite blue mutant, and besides, you could really use the adrenaline. Not to mention that in all of the time you’ve been dating, you’ve yet to see your boyfriend shirtless.

 “I don’t like water very much,” he admits sheepishly, “It takes me hours to get dry.”

 With a pout, you disappear beneath the surface. Then, before he can do anything, you burst back through, spraying him with water. “There.” You grin mercilessly. “Now you’re wet already. So you have no excuse to not race me. Or are you scared?”

 He glares at you and you try not to laugh. “Come on, I’ll even give you a prize if you win,”

 With a defeated sigh, he stands up. “Fine. Only because you are annoying and I love you.”

 “That’s the spirit!”

 As you cheer, he shyly pulls his shirt off his head before sliding into the pool with a wince. “It’s cold!”

 “Oh, don’t be a baby.” You give him a peck on the lips before wading to the wall. “Ready?”

 “I guess.”

 “On the count of three.” Pressing your feet to the wall, you adjust yourself in starting position.

 “I cannot believe how cold it is.”

 “One.”

 “If I get hypothermia it’s your fault.”

 “Two.”

 “I miss being dry.”

 “Three!”

 With that, you push off with as much force as you can muster, gliding through the water with ease. At first, you’re paced with him, stroke for stroke. Quickly enough, you outstrip him, leaving him behind at your heels. It seems mean to completely overtake him, so, with some restraint, you keep him in the corner of your gaze. Then, all of a sudden, right before you finish the race - he disappears.

 As soon as he does, he reappears right in front of you, coughing and sputtering.

 Standing up, you remove the goggles from your head. “Are you okay?”

 He glances at you with reddened cheeks, smiling faintly. “As it turns out, it is a bad idea to teleport underwater.”

 “Well, that’s what you get for cheating, then.” With a giggle, you kick to the edge and begin to climb out.

 Your suit clings tightly against your ass, revealing your thighs and its bare expanse of skin, sun kissed, glistening and dripping wet.  

 You hear the sound of Kurt clambering to follow you, and then the tight hug of his tail around your waist. He pulls you in quickly, eyes glinting and the tips of his fangs protruding from his grin. “I believe you said something about a prize, liebling?”

 “Mm,” You wrap your arms around his neck, grateful for the warmth of his body and proudly aware of the bulge in his pants as you lean into him. “Only if you won.”

 He chuckles, his breath hot against your ear. “I thought that I did.”

 “You cheated. It doesn’t count.”

 He responds slyly, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “Punish me, then.”

 You blink in surprise, and start to feel him hesitate. Before he can say a word, you lean back to look at him, his face stoic with desire. “Bamf us to the bedroom, elf.”

 A grin splits across his face, and within the eager second, the pool deck is left empty.

Okay, since it’s now canon that percy is a swimmer, here’s some things to consider:
-he wakes up super early for morning practice and sleeps through his math class
-broad shoulders!
-eats constantly. constant snacking. lots of food in his bag. so much food.
-what’s that you say? cap tan? and goggles tan? gods, percy wear sunscreen during outdoor practice
-lots of chlorine means hair that won’t smooth down eVER
-back muscles. b a c k muscles
-don’t tell me percy would be anything but a sprinter. one time he swam the five hundred and got out after a two hundred. he’s all about that 50 life
-he’s got a big old speedo bag filled with a mix of mildewy towels, broken goggles, and old camp shirts
-annabeth timing at his highschool meets and showing up with big signs at club ones

2

Turns out I had one more in me. Geo/thermal/magmapunk? I don’t know. But here’s the Engineer in his Ironbridge finest, which includes weird makeup trends like pretending you have a horrible goggle tan. (From the once-active-now-dormant chain of volcanoes that used to make goggles and gas masks required accessories.)

Referencessss


| The Knight | The Mage |

PATIENT VS DOCTOR → FACE TO FACE

The moment that Rachel left the house, her feet were off the bed. Santana had been bed ridden ever since she gave birth, sure that was for her health, but she had to draw a line somewhere. They’d had visits, people came and went as they pleased and always “stepped out” whenever they wanted to get all serious and talk about the complications with Rachel— who was totally enjoying the attention more than she should. If there was one thing that Santana hated — more than hot days in the loft without air conditioning and walking home to a half naked Kurt Hummel bathing in a kiddie pool, complete with swimming goggles and sun tan lotion smothered all over his pasty white ass — it was being pitied. 

It was something she’d tried getting used to when Lard Ass outed her and even those handful of times when Rachel found her crying over cat adverts between her shows, but it still knocked her sick. Santana was a champion, she didn’t need or want anyone’s pity. The pregnancy went tits up, obviously she wasn’t cut out for it from day one, so was it really a big surprise that the baby wanted out more than she did? Everything was fine now, a few stitches later, a few pints of a strangers O Neg and she was on her feet— metaphorically, because Rachel only lets her stand up to use the bathroom. Santana always thought it would be nice to be some trophy wife, to sit and do nothing all day, but her schedule comprised of literally nothing. Santana didn’t have some hot personal trainer, she couldn’t even convince Rachel to wear a slutty nurses outfit while she played doctor every damn day. 

So, can you really blame her if she took the first chance and went wild? Santana knew she was dieting, having put on way too much weight during the pregnancy but, what can she say? She stress eats. And that meant no pizza, but she’d be damned if she didn’t get something. That’s how she wound up with a mound of popcorn in her tits, because lying down and trying to catch every goddamn piece in your mouth is harder than it looks. Micah was next to her in his baby bouncer, loving life, while they watched Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. He was a pretty quiet kid when Naomi wasn’t testing his patience, but she was out with Rachel, which she got a kick out of. Naomi was a pain in the ass when they take her to the grocery store, she takes off running wild for the toy collection and those little legs are pretty fast. Basically, everything was chill in the Lopez household, for now.