gods the humor

anonymous asked:

The office au gives me life. Going around interviewing everyone asking them what's up with Stanley, and everyone answering with something along the lines of "He thinks we don't know that he has a crush on Lefou and he's very hopeless" and then it gets to Lefou looking confused and just being like "Wait what's up with Stanley did I miss something". Stanley's up to speak and he's just like "I danced with him once and then excused myself to go scream in the bathroom for 20 minutes"

I snorted so loud just now. This needs to be written or illustrated or something because this is genius.

Also after the “I excused myself to go scream in the bathroom for 20 minutes” bit it cuts to Stanley just shrieking into a pile of towels. Then back to his completely straight face. Then Tom’s just like “I walked in on him screaming his head off in the bathroom. I just let him do his thing at this point.”

anonymous asked:

Preg!Harvey suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum---morning sickness on steroids. It can even get so bad you have to be hospitalized from rehydration! Just picture that stubborn workaholic ass trying to push through his symptoms until he passes out cold, cracks his head on the desk and the staff all briefly panic because 'oh shit the blood is RED; something must be horribly wrong!111' until they remember that's a human thing.

Omg I’m an idiot I saw this earlier and wanted to reply separately and thought I already did!!1!

This is just….. so epic. It’s got all the things I enjoy: preg, whump, nausea, head wounds, humor, god bless.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.