godiva truffles

Zarä’s Haul

•Ulta

L’Oreal The Blackbuster Liquid Eyeliner

Naked Basics palette

Urban Decay up all night setting spray •Newburry Comics

Red Heather Huf Socks

•Lush

Lovely jubblies cream

Dream cream

Tisty Tosty bathbomb

Unicorn horn bubble bar

Bright side bubble bar

Pink fun

Prince Charming shower gel

Happy Hippy shower gel

Black stockings body tint

Jumping juniper shampoo bar

Shampoo tin

Rose jam bubbleroon

Honey I shrunk the kids soap

Massage bar tin

Bright side bubble bar

Floating flower bath bomb

Love locket bathbomb

Pearl massage bar

•Barnes And Nobel Floral Leather Bound Journal

•Godiva Chocolates

Ultimate dessert truffle flight Dark Chocolate Truffles

•Aerie

10 thongs

•Yankee Candel

Picnic in the park small glass

Picnic in the park no container

Midsummer night no container

•Bath And Body Works

Pineapple mango candle

Sparkling limeade wallflower

Sweet pea wallflower

Strawberry lemonade wallflower

Black tea wood wallflower

Blue plug in

•The Body Shop

Nail Kit Travel

Coconut Body Scrub

Cocoa Butter lip Chapstick

6

4/27

So I’m calling this haul “My friend’s ex is a big ol cunty dickface, but hopefully this makes her feel better”

A close friend of mine had a really nasty breakup so I decide to make her a sort of themed care package/gift thing 

So yeah everything I lifted above is going to my friend as a gift minus a few things and the rest I’ll post tomorrow 

Staples:

    💔 Eos Strawberry Sorbet Lip Balm - $4

    💔 Burt’s Bees Hand Repair Kit - 13

    💔 Whimsical Escapes Coloring Book - $10

    💔 24 pack Staedler Noris Colored Pencils - $12

    💔 Staple Notebook - $3

    💔 Crayola Fine Tip Markers - $10 (Mine)

    💔 Gold Foil Dandelions Notebook - $13 (Mine)

    💔 Weekly/Monthly Planner - $18 (Mine)

Pier 1 Imports

    💔 Cat Mug - $11

    💔 Designer Tissues - $1.95 x3

    💔 Ginger Peach Candle - $12

    💔 Pineapple Basil Candle - $12

Walmart

    💔  Stickers - $1 x3

    💔 Stuffed cat - $5

    💔 Aromabeads Vanilla Cupcake Candle - $5

    💔 Mainstays Candle Peach and Mango - $4

Ulta

    💔 Artisan Bath Fizzy - $6

    💔 Cupcake Bath Fizzy - $10

    💔 Ulta Bath Bomb - $7

    💔 It’s a 10 Miracle Leave in For Blondes - $19

   💔 Tony Moly Pocket Hair Pack - $8

   💔 SNP Cat Wrinkle Face Art Mask Sheet - $5

   💔 7 Wonders Caribbean Coconut Calming Mask - $6

   💔 Miss Spa Nourish Hydrogel Facial Mask - $4

Barnes and Nobles

   💔 Harvey and Sons Peach Tea - $9

   💔 Peony Shea Butter Soap - $9

   💔 Godiva Assorted Dessert Truffles - $24

   💔 Fries Before Guys Tote Bag - $20


Grand Total Saved: $267.85

I know I’ve seen people complaining about wanting hauls that are more than makeup so hopefully this pleases 

Life is In Session

I am supposed to be learning something. That’s the positive spin on having to stay off a broken ankle for two months. I am tired of learning. I am sick of never leaving the house and I’m not even at the halfway point and then I feel TERRIBLE for being so miserable because it could be so much worse and I have so many blessings so really I am just a horrible ingrate. 

I am bored. I wish I could go to the movies. I wish I could walk. I even wish I could go to the gym.

I want a BIG BOX of milk chocolate Godiva truffles–just that specific truffle in a quantity–and it cannot be ordered from the website which means that technology has failed us. 

My mom is here. My father has been in and out. I am grateful for them even though they won’t let me lie in my darkened bedroom all day and be depressed. No, I have to like “get up” and “interact” and sit in a “sun-filled” room.

My mom has redecorated parts of my apartment, mostly against my will.

Or maybe the problem is that after years, decades really, of telling myself I don’t need anything or anyone I have found that I was deluding myself. There is so much I need. Accepting this need is humbling. Accepting that there is a person who can satisfy some of this need is terrifying. Accepting that you don’t always get to be with the person who satisfies your needs is humbling. 

I cannot stop believing in fairytales? Where did my cynical self go? I used to be so hard and closed off to everything. I let nothing in. I was not happy but everything was under control and now nothing is in my control, literally, nothing at all. I’m a control freak so this does not thrill me. 

I am finally taking showers now because my dad installed a new shower head—one with two heads, so I was able to sit with my broken leg hanging out of the tub and use the hanging shower head. The first one I took was my first real shower in three weeks. I love showers. It was, truly, a glorious experience. I shaved my unbroken leg. I washed my own hair. I felt clean. I like feeling clean. 

Lately, I’ve been thinking, “I should be more of an emotionally unavailable asshole,” after moments where I feel vulnerable because I have been emotionally open. I think, maybe there is such a thing as too much love and maybe what women want is an emotionally unavailable asshole. I get that from magazines, television, and movies, mostly.

But then I think, do I want to be treated in an assholish manner? I’ve had my share of assholes. It was tolerable when I was younger. I don’t think it is tolerable anymore. I am okay with trying a little tenderness, both giving and receiving.

To be clear, tenderness is not all I want to be about but mostly, yeah, I am okay, I think, with being open about where I stand and how I feel. I won’t have a single regret.

There are more and more days when I like myself, despite how cranky this post sounds.

I like this thing I’ve got going with this other human, and who we are together. I just do.

She wrote a book, has been working on it for a few years, pushing forward one word at a time, while carrying a whole lot of other stuff and then she finished it and I read it and it made me cry it was so good. I cannot wait to see what the book becomes. I read the book as a critical reader as best I could. I said, “Self, you cannot read this with your heart.” The book is brilliant and utterly original and dark and heartbreaking. It is an achievement. I couldn’t be prouder or more excited.

Lore says I should be envious or jealous of someone who has written something so impressive. I’m not. I’m glad I am connected to someone who writes so majestically. I’m lucky (see also: PROUD). And I have no bigger supporter than her. She has been my loudest cheerleader for many years , the light when I could see no light, and I get to be her biggest cheerleader and I do so happily.

Maybe this is love–wanting to see her star ascend so high I can barely see it with my naked eye and then I want her star to go further still.

Maybe this is the lesson for this year—I am learning to be human and it’s hard and beautiful and necessary and hard.