goddamn that is a fun name to say

Various Quotes from Out Pathfinder Game

I didn’t want to spam (well, spam anymore), so here’s a collection of our three-year-long-campaign party’s OOC best. Presented mostly without context, all of these were made by a variety of all of the players in the game, including myself (I’m the Human Sorcerer, in case anybody is wondering). 

Half Orc Fighter: *does 42 damage with an axe* “Also, last time we spoke, I forgot to AXE you a question!”

DM: If I’d known it would take Star Trek to unify the party, I would have introduced it in session one!

Sorcerer: So do we sail the ship now?“

DM: No! Everyone’s confused, everyone dies!

Party: *Kills undead (again)*

Half Orc Fighter: Well i guess we made no BONES about that. 

DM: You try to say that but you just cough up blood

Player: I don’t think dinosaurs CAN swim, can they?

DM: The dinosaur has a +8 to swim, actually

Elven Bard: Sometimes you best you can do with a spell is protect allies,

Human Sorcerer: And Sometimes you need to Dimension Door the f*** out

Human Sorcerer: I’m going to roll Intimidate*…. [Elf Bard], I hope that’s a laugh of happiness.

   * I have a +10 on intimdiate ffs. 

Half Orc Fighter: Can i give [Human Rogue] a potion of You’re An Idiot?”

DM: to MAKE him an idiot, or to give intelligence?

Half Orc Fighter: To make him aware he’s an idiot!

Human Rogue: I’m sorry; there is no magic strong enough to make Dirk aware of his own idiocy.

Half Orc Fighter: I’m gonna smash the door open.

DM: What?! It has a doorknob!

Half Orc Fighter: …I’m gonna smash the door open.

Human Rogue: *Is under fear effect*

Human Sorcerer: *Gets a crit, does 70 dmg with one spell, and marches over to rogue* GET. UP.

DM: Gives him a Will ave Roll just for that. 

Human Rogue: *passes, loses fear effect*

And last but not least… 

Things the party should probably try to forget less: We have an enchanted stone griffon that turns into a real one when you say it’s name and would’ve been very useful to remember this entire goddamn three year long campaign. 1

anonymous asked:

Could you do Daehyun (bap) smut? Something like him totally being a tease for so long and you getting back to him~




”Why are you so angry?” Daehyun smirks as you kick off your shoes with such force that you’re sure your neighbours heard.

Angrily you point at him. ”You! You’re such a tease, did you know that?”

Daehyun gives you an innocent look, but deep in those eyes you can see the hint of teasing and knowledge. He knows what he does to you and he enjoys it. ”What do you mean?”

You strike out your arms and give him an offended sound. ”Like, Friday, when I was out you kept sending me texts, such as ‘can’t wait till you’re home’ or ’if you were here I’d make you feel so good’, but when I came home you pretended that you never sent those texts.”

”That’s not teasing, you know,” Daehyun smirks innocently again and lean against the wall next to you.

”It isn’t? Well, how about Wednesday, when you had your hand on my thigh the whole dinner with our friends, making me unable to talk for the whole dinner?”

”Nope, not teasing.”

”Or like two hours ago, when I was on my way out to go see this stupid movie with my friends and you pushed me against the wall, whispered disgusting things; such as how good I looked and how horny you was and then when I thought you’d get down to business you told me to have a good night and left.”

”Yeah, I wished you a good night with your friends I don’t see what’s wrong with that?” Oh he knows perfectly well what he does and he is good at it.

”I couldn’t concentrate on the movie for a second. I don’t understand you, Jung Daehyun! If you’re horny then why do you tease so goddamn much?”

You lean forward and grab him by his wrist to unfold his folded arms, making him look less cocky and nonchalant. He takes that opportunity to twist his hand out of your grip and then push you against the wall he was leaning against.

He ignores your question and slowly down so his lips can meet the skin on your neck. Teasingly slowly he starts kissing it, carefully at first, but then you can feel him suck in your skin between his teeth, definitely leaving a mark. You close your eyes and let your fingers run through his hair, thinking that it’s finally time for Daehyun to fulfil what he promised you.

Then suddenly he stops and pulls back, leaving you panting against the wall. ”Ah, I think I’m hungry, do you know if there’s food in the fridge?”

His face screams that he is not only trying to tease you, but annoy you too. Just when he was about to go to the kitchen you grab his wrist again. Forcefully you pull him into the bedroom - Daehyun not making any types of resistance which means it was all a part of his plan - and then roughly push him against the bed.

”What’s with you?” he says with a cheeky smile as you lift your shirt over your head and then eagerly pull off Daehyun’s too, throwing them together into the wall out of pure frustration of being played and teased with.

”Don’t give me that you know what’s with me and it’s your fault.”

”Yeah, I know,” he admits, biting his full lips.

”So this time we’ll change positions, see it as my payback.”


With that you clash your lips together. You notice Daehyun trying to take charge of it and to avoid it you nibble on his under lip, making a muffled moan slip out of his mouth. The feeling of being in control rushes through your body and you break the kiss to kiss his jaw and down, giving extra attention to the collar bones. While kissing down his chest you undo his trousers and pull them down.

Seeing that he is already erected you smile to yourself and give the head a light kiss, making the boy beneath you groan loudly and grab a fist of your hair. Even though it’s tempting to just take him down right then and there, you want to enjoy teasing him for a bit. So you kiss the insides of his thighs, getting irritated grunts from his side.

”Can you just…” he mutters and tries to steer your path with the hold in your hair.

”Just what?” you ask innocently as you once again give his tip a kiss, and then down the side of it, spotting a vein you kind of want to abuse but you hold it in.

He doesn’t answer, he just bites his lip sexily again; confirming that he is drop dead gorgeous. After a while when Daehyun is fully erected and a moaning mess you take him down your throat, extremely slowly. He tries to move his hips upwards, but you hold him down, not allowing him.

”I’m going crazy,” he gives up, obviously holding in his impatience until now.

You smirk a little around him and start picking up speed, taking as much as you can of him. Daehyun’s moans fill the room and you can feel him reaching his climax. Just before it, it felt like milliseconds before he was about to cum, you pull out. Right timing.

The boy beneath you whines when realising that you denied him. ”C’mon babe, don’t do this.”

”What? It’s just payback I said,” you tip your head innocently to the side.

”Yeah you had it, are you satisfied?”

You shake your head. ”Not quite”

Daehyun suddenly flips the position, making you lay on your back on the bed with your wrists pressed against the sheets; trapped in Daehyun’s hands. ”Well, I’ve had enough.”

His lips presses against yours in a hungry kiss. Within seconds the remaining clothes are on the floor and a condom on his member. You have to admit that all this teasing made you eager for him too. While kissing he slowly enters you, obviously had it with teasing. The two of you moan into the kiss, Daehyun waiting for a while before moving his hips. He then breaks the kiss to bury his face into your neck. Slowly you drag your nails down his back as his hips snap faster, resulting with his biting down on your neck. Pants, groans, moans and each others names are the only things that leaves your mouths, and them becoming even higher at the climax. The two of you cum around the same time, Daehyun maybe half a second before you.

You lay there, panting, for a few seconds before he pulls out and throw the condom towards a paper bin but of course missing.

”Oops,” he states, but you couldn’t care less about what happened to the condom.

”You were so horny!” you slap him on the chest. ”So why did you tease so goddamn much?”

He smiles and leans down to kiss you. ”Because it’s fun~” he says when he pulled back.

Well, what did you expect.

My thoughts out of context-pt. 2
  • "I'm your mom now."
  • "What was that? I couldn't hear you over the sound of my own inner turmoil."
  • "How dare you make fun of me in my time of need."
  • "Get on my level, nerd."
  • "When you're very sick, but also very punk."
  • "I'm a goddamn lady."
  • "That was uncharacteristically mean."
  • "NASA says you're dumb."
  • "You'll need to find someone else if you wanna have Girl Talk™"
  • "The fact that you asked me that leads me to believe we've never actually met."
  • "Don't tell me I don't know what a goddamn strawberry is."
  • "I'm gonna tell your mom!"
  • "I have so many questions."
  • "To be fair, I'm never 100% sure what day it is."
  • "What a poophead."
  • "Goddamn-motherfuckiNG-PIECE-OF-SHIT-I-SWEAR-TO-GOD-WHAT-THE-FUCK?!"
  • "M'lady doth not giveth a fuck."

anonymous asked:

“you and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and i’m really just trying to study over here so i’m gonna put an end to this by winning the game” AU. Clearly this calls for Holsom. Holster would so be the one winning it, Ransom probably isn't that into it but happens to be with the group playing it, and then recognises Holster is actually pretty quiet when studying. Also, I like your Holsom fics!

Please enjoy this Ransom-the-lax-bro AU. It’s not quite what you asked for, but anyway

Adam likes to think he’s a reasonable man. He’s never been taken to violence, just occasionally excessive drinking. Hell, the only times he’s ever hit anyone have been during hockey games, and even then it was always the necessary sort of hitting.

But goddamn if he doesn’t want to throw himself across the library and punch the goddamn LAX bros in their stupid, preppy faces.

“Holster,” Bitty whispers, smacking him in the hand with a notebook. Adam lets go of his own notebook and realises he’s been gripping it so tightly it’s starting to curl.

“Sorry,” Adam says, letting go of the pages.

Then it happens again.

“Penis!” one of the LAX bros says. Chad, or Brad, or Huffy or whateverthefuck his name is. Adam’s teeth clench.

“I’m going to hit them, Bits,” he says.

“No, don’t you dare,” Bitty scolds. “We’ll get kicked out of the library. Just let them have their fun.”

“They’re not even having fun!” Adam hisses. “They’re not even really shouting yet.”

Bitty shrugs and goes back to doing his homework. At least, he’s theoretically doing his homework, but then Adam catches sight of his notebook and understands that Bitty is more or less writing self-insert fanfic about him and the Providence Falconers’ centre forward Jack Zimmermann. Which, in absolutely no way does Holster blame him for that.

Adam clenches his jaw and goes back to his homework. He’s just got to make it through finals and then he can move to Seattle and everything will be fine. It’ll be just fine, and he’ll never have to deal with the fucking LAX bros ever aga—


This time it’s louder, the one shouting has a bit more commitment to the cause.

“Dude, Justin, bro,” one of the other LAX bros giggles.

Adam grinds his teeth together. He’s not going to lunge across the table and fight the LAX bros. He’s not.

“Penis!” the same voice says, but louder.

Adam looks up. The LAX bro in question is – well, actually. Adam’s pretty sure they had a class together back in freshman year, but he’s tall – not like Adam, but still – and has phenomenal cheekbones, and – and he’s wearing honest to god salmon shorts. Adam grimaces, repulsed.

Keep reading

titanslayer  asked:

softly whispers piper/reyna

WOULD I SHIP..? (accepting)

listen……. listen. i love platonic/romantic pipeyna (miss me w/ that catty love triangle bs!!!!!)?? i definitely see it as a friends to lovers kind of gig, when the dust has settled and they’ve grown and get to know each other really well? piper’s personality i think would bring out a lot of good things in reyna (Fun Things to visualize: piper dragging reyna out onto the dancefloor loudly exclaiming “this is OUR song!!!”, both of them dressed so goddamn fine like those instagram baddies and taking all the names, piper saying something so goofily cute that reyna needs an Actual Minute to recover from laughter) and i just?? love me girls so much. 

Imagine meeting Jared at a wedding

I sit around, watching as everyone gets closer to the center stage. I should be excited, my sister’s best friend is getting married and I was able to position myself as a bridesmaid, but everything feels dull after having dealt with a fail marriage yourself. I look at my hand, inspecting the place where my ring used to be, missing the weight of it.

My eyes move to observe the place, the fairy lights hanging everywhere, the tables ready to be occupied by the guests. The music starts, and I return my gaze to my hand, feeling sorry for the bitter person I became after being dumped by my husband.

“So, you don’t like dancing either?”

I turn my head to my side, observing the man sitting next to me. Brandon’s best man looks at me with a casual smile on his face.

“I don’t like weddings” I say, even though it is not entirely true.

“Oh…” Is the only thing he says before turning his gaze to the people cheering at the newlyweds, “I can understand it; I mean, this can be really overwhelming”

“There’s too many people”

“Too many happy people” He laughs, I allow myself to smile at his comment, “I’m Jared”


“I know” He smiles, “I asked Brandon, he said you wouldn’t want to talk to me”

“I’m not in the mood for weddings” I shrug, “So, best man?”

Jared looks at his tuxedo before returning his eyes to mine. The smile does not leave his lips, even when the only thing he can find in mine is a serious expression.

“Yeah, been best friends with Brandon for years, he didn’t even have to ask me, I already knew. The same happened to you?”

“Not really” I mutter, noticing all the people starting to move from the waltz.

“Come on, we are in the same table”

Jared gets up from his seat, showing me where our table is located. I follow him, asking myself a bit late why he asked Brandon about me. We arrive to a table occupied by all the bridesmaids and the other groomsmen. I check my name in one of the seats, Jared doing the same on the other side of the table. When he finds his name, noticing he’s located on the other side of the table, takes a look at the empty seat by my side. Empty, but not for long. A man sits by my side, and I receive a kind smile from his behalf.

“Hey, Shannon!”

I lift my head, looking at Jared talking to the man by my side. They both share a look, and without saying a word, they swap seats.

I look at Jared, sitting by my side now, “What are you doing?” I ask him, confused.

“I don’t know” He shrugs, with a smile.

My sister, who just notices what is going on, gives me an interested look. I just roll my eyes at my little sister.

We don’t talk for the first part of the course. We spend the appetizer in silence, but once the soup arrives, he starts sharing comments with the rest of the people in our table. I can see him smile and laugh with the rest, but I’m too deep in my bubble to participate.

When I hear my name, we are already receiving our entrées. Everyone is looking at me, especially Jared by my side.

“What?” I ask them, startled by their gazes.

“We are talking about London” My sister informs me, a reassuring smile on her lips, “The guys want to know about it”

“How long did you live there?” The man, Shannon I think, asks me.

“Oh, five years” I answer, not really wanting to get into too much detail.

“Must have been fun” Another one says, why is there so many people I don’t know in this goddamn table?

“I guess, I didn’t go out that much” I say, after finishing my glass of wine, “Once you get used to it, is just another city”

Some of the other bridesmaids look at me like I’m crazy, just by the fact of saying that London is ‘just another city’. I shrug it off and continue with my meal now that I’m not in the spotlight.

“You are doing great” My sister whispers in my ear.

The meal is over, and everybody is walking to the dancefloor. Anne stops by my side for a few seconds to congratulate me for something that shouldn’t be celebrated. But I guess that if you are in your 20’s, with the whole world at your feet, your big sis’ problems seem too far from your own world.

“You want to dance?” She asks me, holding my wrist, “We could put everyone to shame on that dancefloor”

“The bar is waiting for me” I mutter, with a shy smile, “Go have fun, I’ll try to do the same”

She looks at me reluctantly, but leaves me alone.

Alone, at last.

I walk toward the bar, giving the barman a pleasing smile.

“What’ll do?” He asks.

“Let’s start soft”

He nods and starts preparing me a Cosmo. I wait for my drink, looking around, seeing the people enjoying the celebration. I feel like such a killjoy, but being here brings memories from my own wedding, happy memories that clove to my heart like nails in a chalkboard.

“There you are”

I turn around, meeting my eyes with Jared’s.

“I’ve been looking for you” He says, sitting by my side, again, “Too many people, too many unnecessary encounters”

“Some ex girlfriend that you are trying to avoid?” I ask, noticing how a smile escapes my lips.

“Yeah, and some that didn’t got to get the title and want to now” He laughs, “What are you drinking? I want one”

The barman hands me my drink and starts preparing one for Jared.

“Are you sure you want to stay with me? I’m pretty sure you would have much more fun with those pleading girls”

“You are in a party pooper mood tonight?” He asks, receiving his drink.

“Maybe” I mutter, “Well, definitely, why?”

“Because I need someone like you tonight”

I notice how both of my eyebrows raise at this comment, and I find myself speechless. How are you supposed to respond to something like that? Especially when the person saying it is actually really handsome and you are in the middle of a divorce. Jared plays with his hair for a second, waiting for me to say something, but I can only focus and how invested he looks. He really wants to spend his time with me, and I’m in no position to say no.

“When I asked you about the whole bridesmaid thing earlier, you were really vagued with your answer”

“There’s not much to say” I shrug, but he seems even more interested in the topic.

“Baelyn just asked you?”

“Yeah, I mean, it wasn’t even sure that I was going to be here, I arrived last night”

“Right, you were in London” He mutters, handing his empty glass to the barman, “You want another?”


I must be the most boring person in the whole party right now, but he keeps looking at me with interest.

“That dress looks really pretty on you”

“Oh, thanks” I stutter, looking at the tight dress.

We stay quiet for a couple of minutes, but I can notice how his eyes watch me from time to time. I feel uncomfortable at first, but I start to get used to his presence once the empty glasses start accumulating by our side

His comment about how pretty I look shocks me. I know I’m not unpleasant to the eye, but my confidence is so low lately, that I find it hard to believe any good comments about my appearance. My friends and family are always stating how pretty, or happy I am, even though I look like a hurricane throwed up on me. I don’t believe them, but I believe Jared, who keeps playing with his long hair, offering me honest smiles.

“Let’s play something” He says, “We’ll take turns to say an statement, and if we feel identified, we’ll take a shot”

“You want to get me drunk?” I ask, laughing for the first time in the evening.

“Well, you look like you could use a bit of alcohol, and I can’t say no to a few shots”

“So, ‘Never have I ever’, but with tequila shots?”

“Yeah, fun, isn’t it?”

We lay a row of tequila shots in front of us. I know this is probably a bad idea, but my brain’s in “party mood” and wants some alcohol. Jared volunteers to start with the game, and we turn on our seats to face each other.

“Never have I ever flirted my way out of a speeding ticket” I watch him take a shot, impressed by his confession.

“Oh, my God” I mutter, he laughs, leaving the shot glass aside, “It worked?”

“Nah” He laughs again, “She was a really professional officer, but she kinda wanted to spare me, I could sense it”

Ok, this as starting to get fun.

“Your turn” He announces.

I get comfortable in my sit, thinking about something to say. I used to play this game when I was younger; my friends always picked the dirtiest things to say, but I just couldn’t remember any. I decided to start slow, leaving it for the alcohol to make my memories come back.

“Never have I ever gone commando”

We both take a shot, laughing while putting the glasses aside. He definitely looks like the type of person who would go commando everywhere. Even now.

“That was an easy one” He grins, lifting his head in confidence, “Never have I ever called someone else’s name while hooking up”

I stare as he takes a shot, and then another. When he notices my confused expression, he clarifies.

“It’s happened more than once”

“Come on, how can you do that?” He shrugs, handing me a shot, “I haven’t done it”

“I can see, but at this rate, you’ll have to take me to the hospital before you get a tiny bit drunk. Drink”

I drink, thinking about a new statement.

“Never have I ever…” I start, but stop still thinking about it, “Never have I ever send a dirty text to the wrong person”

This time, I’m the only one who drinks. Jared laughs at me, and I end up laughing with him.

“Tell me about it” He asks.

“It was a boring day at work and I needed some entertainment. Luckily, I sent it to my sister and not my parents… or my boss”

“It was too dirty?”

“Not much, just starting”

“You have to be careful with those things” He suggests, making the barman refill our glasses, “I would literally die if I end up sending one to my mother”

“My sister almost died, it’s not only your parents that you have to be careful”

We continue with the game for what it feels like hours. I learn that Jared has played strip poker and lose just for the pleasure of showing off; lied about his age; sing on the street to gain a few coins (while drunk), among other things. He has learned that I have never kissed someone on the first date; that I dance and sing in the shower; also, about one time that I lied about being someone’s relative just to get in a party, and so, so on.

The more we drink, the dirtier the statements. Jared starts asking about sexual experiences, and I do it too. We are laughing in our own bubble, while everybody else is enjoying the party at their own pace.

“Never have I ever been with someone who was in a relationship”

Jared doesn’t drink, and I stare at him, processing the words.

“Can you excuse me for a second?”

I stand from my seat, starting walk toward the bathroom. The statement keeps spinning around in my head, making me feel dizzy. By the time I reach the bathroom, i run to one of the stalls. I feel the tears coming out, running over my cheeks, ruining my make up. But I can’t stop.

‘Been with someone who was in a relationship’

I have never done it, and after experiencing being the affected part of that statement, I was more than sure that I would never, ever, do it.

The minutes pass, and I find myself able to get out of the stall. My face does not look that damage by the tears, and I take my time to fix my make up in front of the mirror.

When I come out of the bathroom, someone holds my wrist to stop me. I turn around to see Jared pulling me toward him.

“Are you okay?” He asks, biting his bottom lip.

He looks really worried, and by the time I shake my head no, he lets go of my wrist.

“I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have said that” He apologizes, burying his face on his hands, ‘You want to talk about it?”

“Not really” I whisper, “But I would really want to dance now”

Jared takes his hands from his face, noticing a shy smile forming on my lips.

“I can help you with that”

His hand holds mine, starting to pull me towards the dancefloor. The music is soft, and the people start holding their partners really close. Jared puts both hands on my waist, and I raise mine to cross them on his nape. We move slowly, following the rhythm of the music with our drunken bodies.

“I have never been in a long relationship” He mutters.

“Lucky you” I laugh, resting my head on his shoulder, “I have never been in a short one”

“Lucky you” He mimics my words, “I have never been in love”

“I have” Is the only thing I say, feeling the tight nod on my chest, announcing future tears if I don’t change the subject quickly, “I have never been at the beach at dawn”

“It is so… beautiful” He whispers in my ear, “I can take you there, you should watch it, it is one of the most amazing things ever”

“I would love that” I say, feeling quick shivers down my spine, “Your turn”

“I have never… I have never feel this comfortable with someone”

I stop moving as I hear his words. Jared stops too, pulling away to look at my face. A small grin appears on his face, and I’m not sure if he’s being serious, or the alcohol is starting to speak for him.

“I have never feel attracted to someone this quickly” He continues, “I have never wanted to kiss someone as much as I want to kiss you”

I wet my lips, feeling his words all over my body, sending new shivers over my spine. I fold my arms over my chest, trying not to show how his words are affecting me.

“I have never… ever been with someone as beautiful as you, someone who doesn’t even know how amazing she is” He gets closer to me again, putting his hands on my arms, “And I have never wanted to tell someone as much as I want to tell you, how unbelievably amazing she is”

A part of me wants him to kiss me, another one wants to run away from this man who has known me for just a couple of hours and is already putting the world at my feet. I decide to stay, feeling his hands caress my arms, seeing how his lips reach for my ear.

“I really want to show you that dawn” He whispers, “It would be alright if I take you?”

I nod, receiving his hug as a gift.

“And I really want to see it”

His arms hold me against him, and I can’t believe how desperate he is, like he wants me even closer, but he isn’t able to accomplish it. I do the same, crossing my arms on his nape once again, pulling him toward me.

“I have never wanted someone as much as I want you right now”.

I don’t like when people change names of “genderbended” characters, making it female"/“male”, and especially dislike changing “Link” to “Linklett” (????) or “Linky” (I MEAN WHAT)
She’s just goddamn Link, and that’s it!
Ganon will be Ganon forever, I don’t think Gerudo even have “male” names. 
And Zelda… well I guess “Zelda” is more of a title than a name… all royal girls in Hyrule are Zeldas?… in honor of that one Zelda who was born thousands of years after the actual first Zelda princess. Fun with timelines. But who cares, let’s say this young prince over here holds Hylia’s spirit and therefore he’s considered to be princess Zelda. Zelda is Zelda no matter how she looks, and that’s canon. Also “Zelda” is such a great name, it’s so pretty and unique, gosh I love it.


So I am finally playing Far Harbor and I got so excited when I found a functioning cinema (shh, it is not on loop, they both work to the fullest lol) I immidiately went on headcanon spree that Kevin sat down with Mac to watch  Night of the Fish Man’s Revenge, since both are huge nerds lol Kevin is a spoiled pre-war ‘brat’ so he just ‘omg this movie so goddamn cheesy and fake’ I imagine MacCready who has never seen a movie in his entire life probably thinks everything is real and great, so a bit of a clash there, but they both had fun anyways lol (i think I am sometimes both of them when it comes to horror movies lmao) I have no idea what the heck movie’d be about so I tried to make it sound as generic, retro and awful as I could.


You bet he couldn’t sleep that night all the cuddles lol

Here’s a brief fic for Queer Dean Month: The phone number.

A brief summary: Dean finally admits to himself that, yeah, he does think dudes are attractive, particularly that one at the table on the other side of the bar. One thing leads to another and Dean is left with the conundrum of how to give his phone number out the next morning. It can’t be as simple as just giving it. There’s like…rules to hooking up with guys or something…right?

He definitely didn’t regret it. What was the opposite of regret? Relief? Relief didn’t sound right. He wasn’t relieved that he had at last managed to work up the guts to ask a guy back to his motel room. He was….okay, words were not his strong suit, but there were definitely no regrets. Dean Winchester did not regret hook ups.

It was just….how did he….did he just….did he just say, hey, that was cool we should do that again the next time I’m around, here’s my phone number? Did he steal the guy’s phone while he was in the bathroom and secretly program his phone number in? Actually that was kind of creepy. Who did that? Should he do that ridiculous thing he sees in movies where you write your number on the guy’s hand- ha, he should totally write his number on his butt. …maybe not. It’d be funny but…he kind of suspected he wouldn’t get a second round if he went that route.

Okay, so stealing the phone was out, writing on him was out (but it would be goddamn hilarious)…what did that leave? Just…say it? That seemed too easy. Weren’t there rules to giving out your phone number to guys? What were the rules? Why didn’t anyone ever tell him what the rules were!? How the hell was he supposed-

The bathroom door rattled open. Dean froze. He still didn’t have a plan for this. He watched…oh shit, what was his name!? Now he was really going to screw this up. Fuck!

He watched…guy who had been a lot of fun and was actually kind of funny get dressed. Shit. Shit. Shit. What was his name!?

“Well that was fun…ah…Dean right?”

“Yes.” Dean said trying to look like he wasn’t the biggest dork in the room. How did he just forget his name? What if he had said the wrong name last night? What if he had been calling this guy Jeff all night and his name was really Brandon or something? Oh god this was horrible. He rubbed at the back of his neck. “Yeah it was…uh….”


“Aaron.” Dean repeated. He felt the back of his neck heat up. “Really… Fun, I mean.”

Aaron laughed a little.

Dean knew he was blowing his chances here.

“Right…well…” Aaron glanced at the door then back to Dean like he was…waiting for something?

“Right.” Dean repeated because he was an idiot and couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Okay, well…” Aaron gave a half wave and headed for the door.

Dean realized he was totally going to miss his chance, “Wait! Hold on.”

Dean scrambled to find a pen and paper in the nightstand. He scribbled his phone number down, marched across the room to a waiting Aaron, and thrust the paper at him. Oh god, what was he doing? Who did this? Who marched across the room and shoved a piece of paper at someone and didn’t say anything? He should definitely say something.

Aaron took the piece of paper, looked it over, and smiled, “For a moment there I was starting to wonder if we were remembering the same night.”

Really he should say something. Dean worked his mouth open and close a few times but nothing came out. He lunged forward and planted a kiss on Aaron’s lips because that was a great substitute for words. Oh god, what was wrong with him today? He was definitely breaking some unwritten hooking up with a guy rule but no one had ever told him what the rules were! It wasn’t fair.

Aaron smiled again then leaned towards the door, “I really do have to go but…this was nice….I’ll talk to you later.”

“Right. Later. Talking.” Dean nodded vigorously. Okay, now he needed to stop talking if all he was going to do was spit out words like a robot but nope, he kept going, “On the phone. Because you have my phone number.”

Aaron chuckled, “Yeah, on the phone. Nice meeting you Dean.”

Dean nodded again and watched Aaron smile and chuckle as he went out the door. The door closed. Dean realized he hadn’t actually said bye or anything like that he had just stood and nodded like weirdo. Dear god that had been a disaster. What happened to Dean Winchester, smooth ladies man? Man’s man. Whatever. Point was Dean Winchester was smooth and that had not been smooth. Aaron was never going to phone back. Well at least he’d have a ghost hunt to distract him from his epic failure of an adventure into picking up guys. He packed his things and hurried out to meet up with Sam.

Sam of course was taking forever washing his hair. Dude needed a hair cut as of yesterday if it took this long to wash it. So Dean sat at the table in Sam’s motel room, trying to get one of the motel pen’s to stand on end. He almost had it too when his phone went off. He dug his phone out of his pocket and checked it. It was a text. Sender unknown. He opened it.

Thought I’d text first, now you have my number too.

okay no but Peggy/Steve and Bucky/Steve are so important to me

like Steve and Bucky have had this thing since they were teenagers and they still go out with girls but sometimes their hands will brush or their shoulders will bump and they’ll both freeze because fuck (they kissed once, when they were drunk, and they don’t talk about it, but Steve thinks about it a lot) and sometimes Steve thinks that he might like Bucky in the way most guys like girls and they both kind of ignore it and then Bucky gets drafted (I enlisted, he says, with a too-sharp smile and Steve says, okay, and pretends he didn’t see the letter tucked in with the mail) and it’s too late to say anything, if either of them were planning on saying anything.

And then Steve meets Peggy and the boot camp and super serum thing happens and she’s witty and smart and gorgeous and he remembers how he looked at him when he was small and Steve finds himself falling love with her a little bit (What about Bucky what about Bucky what about Bucky—shut up shut up, shut up, punk) and he feels like he’s being pulled in a hundred different directions because though he looks big, inside he’s still that little punk  who ran the streets of Brooklyn with Bucky

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I think my first reaction to this should have been “Why haven’t I already heard of this person, and where can I read some of her poems?” instead of “IS THAT A FAKE NAME? NO, SERIOUSLY. THAT IS THE BEST NAME I HAVE EVER READ." 

I would now like to change my name to GJERTRUD SCHNACKENBERG as soon as possible. 

(Also, why haven’t I heard of her before? Anyone out there a big fan of her work? What am I missing?)

@blondecrowns​: okay… so like…. what about a high school one, and it’s spin the bottle, and they ‘hate’ each other and obviously the bottle lands on them and they’re both really 'UGH’ about it (but secretly not, perhaps?) and then they’re kissing each other and it goes all silent or some shit because everyone knows they hate each other, it’s just an unfortunate coincidence that their friendship groups don’t

edit: also on ao3

She’s going to spin this bottle right in Killian’s face if he doesn’t stop sneering at her like she’s the last person he’d ever want to kiss. It doesn’t matter if it’s true, he’s the one that spun the damn bottle so he needs to stop acting like he didn’t bring this shit on both of them.

“This is awkward,” Ruby comments.

She probably thinks she’s whispering, but she’s drunk so she can’t see that this situation has sped right past awkward to make its final destination at Emma’s personal hell, one that she apparently shares with Killian. It makes sense because, after all, hell is supposed to be punishment.

“This is terrible, but I suppose I shall endure,” Killian says.

“Oh, fuck off, you overdramatic -”

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Here are Some More Things That Need to be Said...

I am so past thisclose to being done. This tag is dead, Markiplier’s community is dead. It is all dead. Anyone who tries to say otherwise is kidding themselves. Mark himself doesn’t even come here anymore.

Doxxing someone is NEVER. EVER. OKAY. Taking away their YouTube dreams when they have worked so, so hard and spent so much money and time and effort is NEVER. EVER. OKAY. God, I hate this. This person’s world and their dreams have been completely crushed. They are being harassed, tortured, brutally stalked.

All because she posted opinions and have people a safe place to vent their feelings. Sure, it was an angry blog. Sure, it was negative and often times way over the top and a little much but GOD, all of takes is a simple block you guys. Just block, be done with it.

This is why this fandom effing sucks. The same thing (though they weren’t doxxed) happened to the tinyboxtim blog. They had an OPINION and the whole Fandom crashed upon them like water on rock. That person and so, so many others. So many people were told to kill themselves, so many lives were threatened, so many people hated one another.

WHY? Because this has turned into a cult. I also have been wanting to say this too: MARK IS A PERSON. HE IS HUMAN. HE IS NOT YOUR SENPAI, HE IS NOT YOUR DADDY. HE IS NOT YOUR SWEET CINNAMON ROLL, TOO KIND, TOO SWEET TOO PRECIOUS. He is a 26 year old man who is normal like you and me, and is far from innocent and perfect. But goddamn, if one person says something bad about him, Hell hath no fury of the fandom’s scorn, hate and anger. All in the name of someone who has *asked us not to do this*. Doing this, especially “for” someone is completely and utterly wrong and appalling to me.

GOD! You all make me sick. He is getting sick of it. Everyone is sick of it and leaving. This tag and Fandom made my summer fantastic until now. There were such fun times and such great, amazing people. Talents were shown off here. Drawings, edits, vines, gifs, paintings, videos as far as the eye can see. Now it is minimal postings and most of them are just gif sets of the latest video. It is all dead and we are never coming back. I am disgusted with the Markiplites, even ashamed to call myself one. We are not Mark’s Heroes, not anymore.