goddammit limits

cosmicdvst  asked:

How to care for: Make sure that he eats at least three times a day, limit all caffeine intake, and that he sleeps approximately four hours at the minimum. Allow a total of five morbid jokes throughout the day, along with a maximum of three selfless activities--no exceptions. Consider implementing a tracking device.

“how to care for your own shiro”  / /  accepting
         »» @cosmicdvst

          “Okay, now this is just excessive.

Arms crossed, there’s an almost offended air about him. Keith makes
it sound like he doesn’t know the basics of looking after himself! Granted,
he’s… gotten bad about keeping track of his meals, and the whole sleep
thing is admittedly a mess… The rest is just ridiculous, though.

          “Not to mention really specific. Five jokes and three selfless
               acts? So, if I’ve used all of my selfless acts for the day, but
               Pidge is having trouble reaching something on a high shelf, I
               shouldn’t be allowed to help?

                    “Also, a tracking device? Our armour already has that. And
                            I’m not okay with being chipped, so don’t even try it.

Things to love about Orihara Izaya:
  • His fur coat
  • His black t-shirt
  • His black jeans
  • His smirk
  • He is Orihara Izaya
  • He is hot af
  • His silver ring
  • He is prettier than a girl
  • His crazy-ass laughter
  • His face
  • Him
  • His name is Izaya
  • He is smart af
  • He is independent
  • He is Orihara Izaya
  • He is actually really lonely but doesn’t show it (which makes you want to hug him and pat him on the head and say ‘aww.. there, there. I’m always here for you’
  • His nail filer
  • The fact that you just can’t decide whether you want to kiss him or slap him
  • His eyes
  • He is Orihara Izaya
  • He is a freaking parkour expert
  • He is also a freaking ninja, apparently, coz even parkour has its limits, goddammit!
  • He is insane
  • He is amazing at running away
  • He is Orihara Izaya
  • 99.9% of the things happening in Ikebukuro are his fault
  • He is the perfect partner for shizuo
  • Drrr wouldn’t have happened without him, since he creates trouble, which is the plot. If he wasn’t there, there wouldn’t be a plot, and the natural and supernatural would just live together in peace, thus there would be no drrr.
  • He is Orihara Izaya
  • His existence
  • I wouldn’t have found a perfect otp if he hadn’t been there (SHIZAYA, HELL YEAH!)
  • He has two younger sisters who are twins (TWINS!!!)
  • His sisters are cool af - one of them is badass af and the other is cool in an eerie, quiet kind of way
  • Akane met shizuo because of him
  • He is the most beautiful trash (yes. More beautiful than Tsukiyama Shuu)
  • He is Orihara Izaya

To be Continued…

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THANKS FOR 1000+ FOLLOWERS

I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist the dick jokes I guess

One of these days I hope to make a video that’s safe for work