god why is the quality so

4

“Islam talks about balance. No one can be perfect. Your relationship with God is something between just you and God. Islam can be interpreted in many different ways, and I am a very big fan of my mother’s interpretation. She is my role model. She tries to use examples from the Qur’aan in a modern sense. Instead of going back to the time of the Prophet [Muhammad (peace be upon him)], we must place the Qur’aan in a contemporary context.”

4

Prince Henry in the 6x11 Sneak Peek

OMGCP characters as things my mom has said to me
  • Bitty: It's 3:30 in the morning and you have a sociology report due tomorrow why are you making a cheesecake
  • Jack: Hey could you step away from your hyperfixation for a second and look at this shirt design?
  • Ransom: [as im huddled in a ball under my bed] Is this because of school, the future, moving out, or all of the above?
  • Holster: I'm banning Moana songs from this house and it's all your fault
  • Lardo: If you don't stop drawing on your arms ill tape your fingers together
  • Shitty: WE GET IT, YOU'RE LIBERAL, JUST LET US EAT DINNER IN PEACE FOR ONCE
  • Dex: Did you...did you kick the dishwasher and then fix it BETTER than before you broke it?? ((note: this was a total accident))
  • Nursey: You look like a lesbian hipster in a portland vegan bakery
  • Chowder: If you called me in here just too tell me how nice your friends are AGAIN i'm adopting you off
  • Whiskey: Stop pretending you're cool we all know you cried over the Homeward Bound movie
  • Tango: I'll answer all of your questions about technology back in my day in a second just please for the love of god let me take a bath
  • Ollie&Wicks: How long have you been in the house?? i haven't seen you in like 3 days
  • Ford: You'd be a great politician, you're good at ordering people around and have a face that makes people inherently trust you
  • Johnson: please stop making me think about if i'm real or not while i'm buying toilet paper
  • Kent: You're never gonna get a boyfriend, your only redeemable quality is that cats like you
  • NOTE - im very very gay and like girls a Lot but im still in the closet, which is why these seem so uncharacteristically Hetero™
2

Tumblr please don’t kill the quality too much.

Okay, jumped on the bandwagon of @beanpots‘s Day and Night AU, which is so gorgeous I couldn’t help but draw the precious kings in a mural style. Looks a little asymmetrical (especially Yuuri OH GODS WHY), but that’s cuz I can’t do digital lineart to save my life (I definitely prefer digital colouring tho) so I just did it over my ink sketch from the paper version. Still, I’ve definitely come a long way with my digital arts, so I’m really happy with how this turned out. :3

Anyways, hope y’all like it, especially the creator of the AU LOL.

More fan-art for @thorinsmut and @asparklethatisblue for their collaboration “Orchids and Bells” which you should definetly read -> http://archiveofourown.org/works/5412128/chapters/12504554

(I borrowed bluesparkle’s design on Nori, I hope that’s ok?)

princess bubblegum in one of the expression memes, as requested by anon! :O

Just a couple?

Well…


“I’ll go and ask Rouge. Wouldn’t want to go on a wild goose chase for nothing.”


“Let’s go bungee jumping, lads.”


He didn’t even give them a chance to react to the invasion. The Black Arms showed up for ten seconds and that was it, he was already certain. What a prick.


QUALITY LOGIC.


This is a serious game.


“Why do I still look like a Dreamcast model…?”


“So if the wife and kids ask why I don’t have a photo of them on my desk, I’ll have a great excuse.”


That sunset looks radioactive.


I dunno Doom, he looks pretty alive to me, eyes open and all.


“Wish… upon a… star…”


This makes up the entirety of a single cutscene.


The real face of terror.


“Thank god for that then, for a moment I was worried we wouldn’t be able to completely trivialize the threat the villain handed out just there.”


“don’t worry guys it’s only pretend, it’s just a toy gun lol”


“Therefore I joined the organization who actually did it.”


“Why am I in this fucking game.”


“Yo.”


Doom’s ten packs a day habit finally catches up with him.


“I just came to terms with the overall quality of my game, of course I’m troubled.”


But Shadow already remembered this part…? We saw it in the intro…?


The real face of sorrow.


“And I’ll get my revenge on that fucking wank!”


“You pop over to Tesco’s, and I’ll meet you back outside the M&S.”


“Oh shit, what do I do. I genuinely wasn’t expecting him to say that.”


“That’s why I’ve been following everyone else’s orders throughout this journey.”


And I bet no one expected the Ultimate Lifeform to talk like a swinger.


Black Doom represent.


“I don’t recall having any presence on the PS1!”


Completely unnecessary.


"Haha, that black hedgehog died, what a loser. Wouldn’t want to be him.”


This is a spinoff of the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise released in 2005 for the PlayStation 2, X-Box, and Nintendo GameCube.


“Steal my kill again and I’ll use your corpse as a surfboard, you angst-ridden penis.”


“Sure, if we don’t get killed during this invasion first.”


The wrath of the Black Arms comes with no debris, apparently. Or maybe that road that was clearly torn up by Black Bull’s entrance was made with magic or something.


There it is! There’s the line!


The Tornado just gave up.


“In my defense, I never claimed to work at I.T.”


Even he’s wondering if we really have to listen to this shit again.


“Oh shit, what do I do. I genuinely wasn’t expecting him to say that.”


“I’m taking up English lessons, so I guess that means I’m taking them too!”


How meta.


Quick reminder that this is still indeed a spinoff of the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise released in 2005, for the PlayStation 2, X-Box, and Nintendo GameCube.


I would have thought the giant Mola Ram-looking alien floating in the same room would have been the turning point in successfully getting this kid to shit himself.


“Uh, actually, the Space Colony A.R.K. was merely shut down, not destroyed.” *nerdy laugh*


“Well you’ve been doing a shit job at it so far.”


“OOOOHHHH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT-”


…What’s funny about that?


Really going for gold there, Shadow.


“I’ll just be here if you need me.”


Even Shadow doesn’t know.


How did he get in that room to begin with? Did he have to float in sideways so his horns didn’t get stuck?


“I said I wanted to do Musical Chairs for my party, you idiots.”


“Hope I don’t have to deal with an even worse villain in the next game.”


“Maria, get your fucking face checked. You look like a dead body in a Vincent Price movie.”


A true clash of titans.


“I’ll have the last laugh when I literally conquer the world in twelve years time.”


“I agree, let’s pay tribute to someone who tried to kill us once.”

Season 2: One Cour Drama

DISCLAIMER: This long-ass post was made off of other peoples’ insight to hopefully give a factual explanation for season two… and did I mention this was a long-ass post? It’s a long-ass post.

Sigh. I’m pretty sure we’re all done with this by now, lol. We’ve pretty much accepted the fate of SNK only being twelve episodes. But for those who are interested, I’m going to try and explain the situation with WIT Studio’s rationally, without a bias standpoint as a fan, as I struggle miserably to do.

Let’s take a look at Thomas Romain’s twitter, one of the animators giving insight on WIT Studios. This man is understandably upset about the fandom’s backlash. Everything in this post was inspired from his Twitter. So without further ado, Here’s what he has to say about SNK season two having one cour:

So basically, after reading his Twitter, I’ve realized the reasoning behind SNK having no Uprising arc in season two is because the anime industry is facing a crisis. There’s not enough workers, or rather, qualified workers to keep up with the amount of production. Animation schools in Japan are closing down and workers are being underpaid. According to Thomas, a junior animator gets paid around $4/hr. Where I live, employees with minimum wage get paid $10/hr just to work at McDonalds. So imagine having to draw around 350 drawings per month just for a shit $4 pay when you could work in the fast food industry for potentially twice as much ($6-8 in Japan)!

Also, Wit Studios is located in Tokyo, the most expensive city in Japan. When you’re living in a place like that, then you probably don’t want to work overtime for $4/hr. And this isn’t a problem with the current animation team working for Wit Studios; they’re fully devoted. This is an issue for potential future animators who probably don’t want to pursue in the field if that’s the life they’ll be living - meaning the industry is cock-blocking itself from having more staff.

I had a brief conversation with @lenok993 and we agreed that a good contribution to SNK having only a single cour is how many people decide to pirate the series, or watch it online for free. Considering purchasing the actual CDs doesn’t necessarily help that much, this is mostly speculation, but it’s really all we’ve got. I’m actually guilty of this so I don’t have any right to lecture anyone about that. But it’s always good to bring attention to that fact!

Also, it’s a misconception that I didn’t learn ‘till recently that the animation department does not get any portions of the merchandise being sold. They do get money from Blu-Ray purchases, but it’s definitely not enough to help out the animators’ paycheck. There’s just too many series’ and not enough people on the animation team.

Why not drop projects? SNK is what the majority of us want, so why not dedicate more resources to the most popular franchise?:

Despite SNK’s popularity, WIT Studios is a very small production company. For them, quantity is everything because it’s the only way their company can continue to make money. Even if they dropped everything and directed their attention to SNK, they wouldn’t get enough funds to keep functioning just from one anime alone.

There’s not enough money going around, and as said before, not enough qualified workers. It takes years to train these workers, sadly. And with the schools closing down, finding people who are willing to work for the horribly low salary is nearly impossible. There’s more and more demand for production and the small company can’t keep up. So even with their short amount of animators, having a large number of projects is absolutely necessary. 

What’s the best thing we can do to support WIT Studios and its production of the story about the giant, naked, man-eating men apocalypse (SNK)?:

Perhaps start here - with buying Blu-Rays. As @lenok993 said, this may be why they chose to release the Blu-Rays so early. And like Thomas said, it really doesn’t do that much. But really anything helps! Even if the portions don’t go directly to the animators, anything is absolutely better than nothing. 

Mm… I’m really interested in the anime crisis. Hopefully it’ll get resolved eventually. But you know, there’s also this nifty little page you can check out: Animator Support!

I know that us foreigners really don’t have many options to help. On the most part, all we can do is sit and watch the drama in the studios unfold. But it’s always good to be aware of what’s going on behind the scenes, even if we can’t do anything about it. I’m pissed that we aren’t getting an Uprising arc since it’s my favorite one - and I’m still going to rant about it. But no matter how much we rant, it won’t change the fact that they don’t have the resources to produce a two cour season.

TL;DR: Despite SNK being the huge franchise that it is, and the misconception that it’s the money-maker we believe it to be, there’s not enough experienced workers to keep up with the production. Animators aren’t satisfied with their paychecks and animation schools are shutting down. This is already bad enough for bigger production companies, but even worse for smaller companies, such as WIT Studios.


Small, dumb rambles:

I will admit though… I’m really annoyed that SNK, such a huge anime, is getting handled by such a small production company. I feel like there’s a lot of trust being put on a thin line between the production company and the fandom. But even so, the situation is the way it is and it’s not going to change. So we’ll just have to accept it for what it is.

Anyway, being the small company that they are, they’re really trying. They may have had four years but they needed to work on other projects so they could even be around for the production of season 2. Plus, they were still lowkey working on SNK despite having other projects. And even if we’re only getting twelve episodes… I know I’m going to be murdered for saying this… but at least we’re getting any episodes at all. Quality over quantity. That’s the basic rule.

I’m glad they aren’t interested in ruining the magic of SNK for the sake of quicker production. I’m really in love with their dedication and decisions towards each episode Like that rewind in the first episode, oh my god, I don’t know why but that was so orgasmic to my vision. I’ll take the twelve episodes over getting shitty half-assed episodes any day.

Things I Learned From Shadowhunters o2.o7:

o1. i’m getting significant voldemort vibes from valentine.
o2. FATTY TUNA IS DEGRADING
o3. Simon is the cutest thing in the world and he needs to be protected at all costs. (Preferably by Raphael?)
o4. OH GOD PLEASE JOIN THEM. I AM SO OKAY WITH ALEC WALKING IN ON JACE HAVING SEX.
o5. Alec being too embarrassed to look at Jace is such quality content. Bless you, Shadowhunters.
o6. DID CLIZZY JUST BREAK UP.
o7. I am so turned on by Magnus holy shit.
o8. MY FRIEND JEM IT’S FINE I’M FINE.
09. Luke just looking at his sister as she bleeds out on the floor made me laugh so hard. Am I a bad person?
1o. 23 minutes in and still no Raphael. Why am I watching this show again?
11. WILL YOU BE MY OBI WAN?
12. I question Clary’s life choices frequently.
13. I take it back, that was smart, Clary.
14. DAZZLE ME.
15. Simon’s mind is so blown oh my God, I need more scenes with Simon and Jace.
16. Alec: I don’t overthink things. Also Alec: Overthinks overthinking.
17. okay but the way alec is cluching magnus’ shirt right now excuse me i’m dying
18. that pout though.
19. JACE THREATENING MAGNUS. THIS IS GOOD SHIT.
2o. OH GOD GET OFF THE ROOF ALEC THIS IS NOT GOOD SHIT.

I made a post yesterday that was just like “why are YA titles Like That“ bc holy shit and @owlphallacies left a comment to this effect so like…………….. I had to make this. FIND YOUR YA NOVEL NAME, MINE IS MOONWITCH god this name trend is so dumb (disclaimer: I love YA literature, I select YA books for my library, this is all entirely in jest) and it is hilarious to see how common these edgy mishmash nonexistent compound words are when it comes to book titles.

(so many thanks to @silentunder5mph for brainstorming with me oh my god we came up with some quality fucking titles)

Arya and Dany: Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors

After posting this gifset, there was some debate about the Hogwarts sortings for Arya and Daenerys with some insisting that they were both Slytherin. So I thought I would explain why I see them as fitting into Hufflepuff and Gryffindor rather than the other two houses. This got long, so I’m putting it under the cut.

TL; DR: Even though both characters have Slytherin and Ravenclaw traits, it is, IMO, their Hufflepuff and Gryffindor characteristics that most significantly form their characters, influence their choices, and represent their values.

Keep reading

The finished version/screen record ~

I’m so in love with Mal’s new look, (and with Dove in general) eventho I noticed a lot of people dislike the new hair.

And I’m slightly bothered that the art contest is only for people in the US and between the age of 11-16 :( I really wanted to participate.
But that doesnt stop me from making fan-art

why does the quality look so bad :/ click on it for HD version


Update : oh god this fanbase is like the sweetest ever, I never had so many lovely comments before <3

Moriarty just bought you a new smartphone and it has a high quality camera. So you start taking Sebastian’s pictures, since he’s the nearest person to you.

Here he is on the first picture you took of him.

And behold, the 516th picture you took of him.

SM: Tell me when you reach 1000 ok?

Originally posted by firstfassbender

[Y/N]: Ooh! why!

SM: So i can throw that piece of shit off a cliff. I swear to God [Y/N] you have no boundaries.

[Y/N]: But you look cute in each and every one of them……

The Joker x Reader - “Auntie D”

All villains get paired up by the Dark Shadows World - “Match Made in Hell (MMIH)” Division. It’s always such a challenge to find a suitable match for The Joker. Good thing you’re still around.

“What about her?” one of the entities points out and the others attending the meeting are fast to disagree.

“No way, he’ll kill her in a week!”

“She’s not strong enough to keep up with him!” another one vociferates.

“He’ll eat her for breakfast and burry the leftovers,” the leader concludes and the contendent is dismissed.

“Oh, what about that one?” someone points out towards the woman and nobody’s happy with the new choice.

“Are you kidding me?! She’s such a wimp; no way she can handle The Clown Prince of Crime!”

“Wouldn’t last two days,” another committee member complains.

“Bad choice!” more and more object.

“I’m so sick of this, we have the hardest time finding him a girlfriend,” the youngest entity sighs and suddenly you are seen on the board.

“What about Y/N?”

“Didn’t we try before and it didn’t work?” one recalls, intrigued.

“Yeah, but it’s been a while. I always thought they should have stayed together, they can handle each other. How did they break up?”

“Something about him being selfish and her not paying attention to him,” the boss remembers.

“That’s it?! We can fix this, I see she has no match yet either. We’re running out of options so I think we should make it happen again and go with the flow. No better choice. Y/N is in the same building with The Joker as we speak and we’ll have to force things a bit but it could work. All in favor, raise your hands. Oh, right, we don’t have any.”

Just a bunch of shapeless Dark Shadows.

“Yes, yes, might as well, it’s frustrating to keep on meeting about this problem.”

“Agree, I’m sick of it myself. Let’s do it!” the youngest entity impatiently speaks.

“They are so close to one another, we need to act NOW.”

“Proceed,” the leader gives its blessing and…

*********************

You and The Joker almost - kind of- sort of –nearly…well … definitely had a thing going about a year ago. You are actually thinking about that at the present moment as you crawl through the vents of “Diamond Emporium” store so you can get to the goodies.

Mister J is there on a heist with his men and you have no clue about each other’s presence…yet.

MMIH Division is taking care of it.

You suddenly hear the cracking sounds under you and before you can move another inch the ceiling gives out and you land right in front of your ex, almost killing Panda in the process.

“I’ll be damned, Frost, a fallen angel ! Is it Christmas already?” J grins, instantly recognizing you. “What are you doing here, Doll?”

You gather yourself from the floor, dusting debris off your clothes, grateful you didn’t break anything.

“Same thing as you, J: making sure the air ducts are clean.”

“Ha!” he snorts, signaling his guys to spread around so they can collect as many items as possible.

“Sir, the seif is over there,” Frost announces and you turn around to look.

“Want me to open it for you?” you offer, this way you can get a few things as payment instead of The Joker getting everything. You know how he operates: too bad he had the same wretched idea of robbing the place in the same time with you.

J debates and decides after a few seconds:

“Are you as fast as you used to be?”

“Faster,” you smile, fixing your hair.

“OK then, go for it,” your former boyfriend pouts, watching you head over the seif. A very sparkly necklace gets your attention so you break the small glass case and get it out, tossing it to the ground after analyzing it.

“Too shiny,” you answer J’s soundless question when he looks your way with an intrigued expression on his face.

“Too shiny?!” he repeats. “Since when a woman complains about diamonds being too shiny?! Never heard of it before,” he grinds his teeth, puzzled.

You just lift your shoulders up, you don’t need to explain your taste in sparkly stones – he should know that by now.

Jonny is waiting by the seif and you just have to say it:

“My, my, Frost, you always look so sharp in your perfect tailored suits. I love men that dress fancy for every occasion.”

Frost straightens his back, pleased at your compliment:

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“Oh, please, don’t let me interrupt your flirting,” The Joker shouts. “Can we finish this faster? We need to move out !”

Ahhhh, he’s getting annoyed, one of his “qualities” you like so much.

You start your work and J is messing around with his cane. He doesn’t want to bring it up but when does he ever know how to control himself?

“What’s wrong with my outfit, hmm?”

“Huh?” you stop what you’re doing so you can hear him.

“What’s wrong with my outfit? Since …ummm…apparently you like guys in suits. I wasn’t aware.”

You stare at his attire: no shirt -  just the purple coat, Batsy shorts and boots. About 4 heavy gold chains around his neck, a handful of bracelets on his wrists and a bunch of rings on his fingers.

“Nothing, it looks…good,” you smirk, getting back to your stuff and…done.
“My God, you are faster!” The Joker exclaims, forgetting he was irritated about your earlier statement.

“I just want a few things; you know me: I’m not greedy.”

“Go ahead,” he agrees as you open the seif.

“I want this one…and this one…” you pick what strikes your fancy, excited at the excellent quality.

“What is this?” he frowns, pulling out a chocolate bar from a small drawer inside the seif.

“Weird, why would you keep chocolate with diamonds?” you inquire, surprised.

“Maybe one of those sentimental souvenirs for someone working here?” J tries to guess, disgusted at the thought.

“How dumb, you think so?”

“Maybe,” he glares at the bar, scoffing.

“Is it expired?” you bite your cheek, in mood for sweets.

“Nope, still good.”

“Can I have it?” you reach your hand and he gives it to you.

“Suit yourself, Doll.”

“I think that’s all I want. I’m done,” and you rip the plastic foil, beginning to munch on the chocolate.

The Joker’s henchmen stashed a lot of diamonds in bags and you linger around for a bit.

“I heard you have a kid,” J sniffles, puckering his lips.

“Yes, I’m taking care of my niece. My sister died last year, shortly after we…e-hem…went our separate ways,” you bring him up to date since he’s gazing at you with those hypnotizing blue eyes, expecting a briefing.

“She died?” he replies, not really giving a crap and you are aware of it.

“Car accident,” you mumble and your eyes get teary, saddened at the memory.

“That sucks.”

That’s the best he can say for “I’m Sorry” in Joker language. Thank goodness you speak that language.

“It does…” you whimper, trying to keep it together.

“We finished, sir!” Frost announces and you are glad for the interruption.

“I’m going then,” you back out, holding tight to your backpack.

“I might need you again, Y/N. Your skills have improved even more. I have a heist in 2 days, 3 seifs inside Gotham Bank. Interested?”

“Yes, of course,” you mumble, wanting to hurry up and run before the cops show up.

“Want me to pick you up?” J offers.

“Sure, I’ll text you the address.”

“You don’t have my new phone number,” he yells before you disappear behind the stairs.

“I’m an excellent hacker, I’ll figure it out!” you scream back before sneaking through the gap in the wall J’s henchmen opened for themselves to get in.

***********************

You managed to get J’s phone number and text him your address ; it was a piece of cake. Yummm, cake…you love sweets. Anyway…

He came to pick you up for the robbery, wearing… a suit. Dark green. Looks ravishing on him, not that you pay attention to such details.

You are going to take a shower and get ready. In the meantime, he’s left alone in the living room with Mikah, your niece.

She’s 7, going on 40.

MMIH Division’s strongest ally and she’s not even aware.

“I know who you are, I saw you on TV,” the girl inspects J, curious to hear him speak.

“Did you now?”

“Yes, plus Auntie D has pictures of you on her cell.”
“You don’t say!” J grins, suddenly more interested in the conversation.

“Are you a bad man, mister?” Mikah wants to know right from the source.

“Yeah,” the short answer confirms it.

“Can I sit in your lap?”

“NO!” J growls, hoping you’re coming back soon.

“My aunt says she has the biggest crush on you,” the kid reports, not understanding why.

“Does she now?”

“U-hum, she talks about you quite a lot.” The little girl tightens her pony tails. “Hey, mister, are you single?”

“Supposedly,” he rolls his eyes, wishing she would shut up.

“Auntie D too. You should take her on a date.”

This feels like an interrogation: The Joker is the one that likes to ask questions, not the other way around.

Mikah just ignores his earlier reply and places herself in his lap. J doesn’t know how to react. She touches his face and he tils his head backwards because surely doesn’t like to be touched by strangers.

“Are you shy?” she bounces her legs, giggling.

“No, kid, I’m not.”

“Why do you have tattoos on your face?”

“Because I wanted them there, that’s why.”

“Auntie D says you are very handsome. I guess you are…in a strange way. Why do you look different? Auntie says we shouldn’t judge people for being different.”

Why can’t she quit talking?! J thinks. Is there a turn off button somewhere?

“Do you dye your hair?” she caresses the green locks, smitten with the wild color.

“No, it grows like this.”

“I think that’s cool. What happened to your teeth? Why are they silver?”

“Do you ever shut up?!” your ex snaps, fed up with the questionnaire.

“No, only when I sleep, ” your niece innocently blurs out. Mikah notices the numerous tattoos under the almost unbutton shirt. “Untie D loves guys with tattoos. She told me once you are a stud and then she covered my ears, but I heard it. I asked what it means because you don’t look like a horse in pictures. Auntie said to forget about it, it’s not for children.”

J snorts, finally amused.

“Did Y/N say that?”

“U-hum,” she nods. “Why do you have a cane? It doesn’t look like you’re limping.”

“So I can spank people that don’t behave,” J winks, entertained.

“Are you gonna spank Auntie D with it?!”
“Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!” he laughs. “Maybe, if she doesn’t behave.”

Interesting kid, he never had a dialogue with one before.

“Do you have children mister?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

The Joker lifts his shoulders up, not replying. Mikah continues her tirade:

“Auntie D says you’re the Daddy type. So how come you don’t have any kids yet?”

J is getting quite immersed in this crazy spiral consisting of the little girl spitting out things he shouldn’t know about.

“You should have a baby with Auntie D, I would loveeee a sibling,” she continues yammering and J wants to cover her mouth.

He finally has to seek for an answer to the burning question:

“Why do you call her Auntie D? Her name doesn’t start with a D.”

Mikah places her index finger on her lips, getting secretive.

“It’s girl stuff, I can’t tell you if you’re not part of the girl club.”

“I can be,” The Joker grins, hoping to trick Mikah into telling him.

“You’re a boy, can’t be part of our club.”

“Ohhh, that’s too bad, little Doll. But if you tell me, I’ll take your aunt on a date.”

She gasps.

“Oh my God, for reals?!”
“A-ha,” The Clown Prince of Crime is fast to utter.

“You promise?”

“Yeah.”

She gets close to his ear, whispering:
“My auntie’s bra size is a D-cup, that’s why I call her Auntie D.”

The Joker doesn’t remember hearing anything funnier than this for the past few months. He snickers, closing his eyes and Mikah giggles, happy the bad man is laughing at something she said.

“I’m ready,” you finally step in the living room, gathering your wet hair in a messy bun. You are intrigued seeing your little niece in J’s lap, both laughing, accomplices on a secret for sure; you can tell.

Before you can express your curiosity regarding the scene unfolding in front of your eyes, J gets up, leaving the kid on the chair he sat and cracks his neck, approaching.

“Change of plans, Princess, we’re going on a date. Go put something nice on.”

“We’re going on a what?!” you crinkle your nose, watching Mikah’s mouth opening in amazement - she seems delighted.

“Hurry up, I don’t have all night,” he pushes you back towards the bedroom.

“I don’t want to go on a date with you,” you protest, displeased and baffled.

“Shut up, woman, don’t talk back to me! Be grateful you have the honor of having a date with The King of Gotham,” he snarls, shoving you in the bedroom and closing the door behind him. “And hurry up…Auntie D!!!!” and you hear him laugh as he distances himself from the door.

What the hell is going on? You debate, perplexed about tonight’s twist, digging in your closet for a dress. But you have to admit you don’t really hate the present situation. After all, you still have the biggest crush on your ex, too bad he doesn’t know.

********************

Match Made in Hell Division is absolutely, utterly and indisputably more than happy to close two difficult cases in the same time: The Joker and Y/N aka Auntie D.

You took enough of their precious time, even if they have an eternity to their disposal.

Plus, J is the first male villain to be part of a girls’ club, another legendary skill he will forever be praised for in The Shadow World.

It all started with a bra size.

Also read- MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

strawberry-tallcake  asked:

Staple closet pieces? Including shoes and jewelry 😊

Alright this is going to be a long post…

My personal style can be described as classy and elegant with a twist of edgyness. Think elegant Kendall Jenner x Bella Hadid x Ulyana Sergeenko candid & formal photos.

Although it happens that I put less effort into dressing for university and other unimportant stuff like just running errands or do some small shopping in town because frankly, I don’t care and do not have to impress anyone with my 900€ shoes and 3,500€ coat. I live in a small town, so this just adds to me feeling indifferent. It doesn’t happen often, but still.. it does happen. However, when I am in a big, fancy town, I of course dress to impress and like I’m about to see my worst enemy. I think that this should go without saying haha!

Aside from that my style is as I have described above.

I used to buy stuff from H&M and Zara a lot and mix it with high-end designers, but now it all shifted to just high-end designers. It’s just personal preference. I am fed up with the poor quality and designer knock-offs. I very much cherish the improved quality that I have with designer pieces. Although the quality from oh so many pieces is pretty ridiculous too, to be honest! Do not think that designers necessarily offer the very best quality for their price. Most of the time the prices they charge can’t possibly ever be justified with the quality of their merchandise. It’s just the name you are paying for, really. This is why my #1 mission is always to look for the best quality in anything. I can see a Valentino dress that is so god damn gorgeous and not like the fabric. Or the beads and embellishments seem to be very cheap. I will not buy it, although I regret it because it’s stunning but whatev.

Understand that I am on a monthly budget just as everyone else is. Yes, I might have a whole wardrobe bursting with luxury and designer names, but I have amassed this all over years, with roughly 80% of my own money and 20% of SD money. I am a very practical person and buy clothing, shoes and jewellry that I am able to wear every day and for any occasion. There are some occasional SPECIAL purchases too, of course. But only when I see something seriously special. I had a phase in which I bought at least 20 pairs or so of Louboutins.. and how many have I actually worn out? Maybe…6? This, too, taught me to be practical.

As for jewellry, I generally don’t wear jewellry except for my gorgeous silver ring that looks like a flower made of tiny diamonds, with a beautiful big black pearl in the center of it. It is very special to me. As for earrings, I alternate between beautiful pearl studs when I want to look all preppy, classy and elegant (I think that they also make me look younger, funnily enough) and diamond studs and chandeliers sometimes for daytime and evening as well. I don’t care. I wear stuff that is supposed to be worn in the evenings in the day, too. It adds to the ‘uniqueness’ of my style which sets me apart from others. 

Please mind that I am not going to drop designer names (xcept for four) because well, I don’t want to seem like an arrogant, overly spoiled brat who just wants to show off. No! I am happy to provide you with pictures or whatever in private, if a certain piece has piqued your interest or if you want to know which pieces I exactly have, so just gimme a shout.

So, my general staple pieces for the day would be:

* A few pairs of skinny jeans - lighter denim colour without wash, one distressed black one (I like the slits at the knee), a normal black one, a mid-dark denim with a subtle wash. I only wear skinny jeans at this point in my life, with a seldom exception. Full length and I very much like ankle length or a little over the ankle in summer. Skinny jeans accentuate my lean and long legs - and I like to shift focus on my legs. 

* Skinny black leather pants. Normal ones, not like the Givenchy & Saint Laurent zipper thing.

* This seldom exception would be one pair of black high-waisted, perfectly tailored trousers that are overall just a little bit wider. 

* Two pairs of black cigarette trousers like Audrey Hepburn used to wear.

* As for t-shirts and tank tops, I like basic black and white ones. Round-neck, V-neck, doesn’t matter. I do not like any kind of prints unless it’s an okay print. Well I guess I am guilty of owning the black & white Balmain tank tops with the three golden buttons on the left shoulder haha but these are the only printed shirts in my wardrobe because they do add a little bit of sophisticated edge to my day looks.

* Elegant silk blouses are also a must in my wardrobe. Here, I like playful pussy bow blouses and a bit more ‘daring’, statement blouses. Although I do not like statement or ‘IT’ pieces in general and usually stay far away from them. I like to wear these blouses with my black high-waisted trousers.

* I am a sucker for coats. I own a lot of coats. Fur and normal ones. I adore a good camel coat and am also a sucker for military-inspired coats. The colours of my choice, for normal coats, would be camel, black and navy at this time. Other colours for fur coats.

* I fucking love capes and have quite a few. Black ones, mid-length to the middle of the thigh I’d say.

* Jumpers / Longsleeves / etc. Here, I am always looking for good quality cashmere, and wool. Mainly wearing them in autumn and winter. I like turtleneck pieces a lot.

* Warm Scarves - all my scarves are of a cashmere/silk mix. I also wear them when it’s cold or just throw them over my shoulders on a chilly summer night when I’m out at a dinner party or so. 

* Fancy Scarves - silk. I sometimes wear them under/over a blazer, with a normal button down shirt and a high-waisted skirt. 

* Skirts - one high-waisted black leather mini skirt, a black high-waisted heavy wool skirt / knee length

* Shorts - different pairs of mini denim shorts, beautiful lace mini shorts, black leather mini shorts

* Blazers - oh boy. I love blazers. I have so many. Again, black and navy coloured blazers. I have this beautiful slim, perfectly tailored black blazer that is a bit longer than a usual blazer - just beautiful. one of my fav pieces.

* Jackets - love. black leather jackets for the edge, but elegant leather jackets. I also dig black leather jackets with a beautiful embroidery on the back side. and uhm *coughs* of course the classic - the Chanel jacket. normal black and beige. is an absolute must have. and so versatile! I have the cropped versions as they fit my body far better than the regular length ones.

* Dresses - oh uh. I collect dresses. For any occasion. However I prefer short dresses, above knee length and mini dresses. Do have a couple of mid-calf length dresses, though. Here I say that the fancier the dress, the better. But it still has to look absolutely beautiful and not dramatic. Although I would have loved to have that black/red and red Proenza Schouler ostrich feather dresses just because they look so badass.. but where the hell would I have worn it to.. that’s the other question haha! I love brocade, I love silk, I love lace, I love velvet dresses. My dress colours are usually black and red but I also do have some white, silver, blue dresses. As for the regular shopping day in town, I just wear a long black dress with gladiator flats and that’s it. Dun care. Bye, Felicias. 

* Shoes - sexy black high pumps, the famous espadrilles (I like wearing them in summer with my ankle-length skinnys), the famous Balenciaga boots with the cutouts at the sides and the two buckles with silver hardware, not gold (literally every Russian jetset baby has these boots omg haha), velveteen ballet flats, silken/satin ballet flats, gladiator sandals (which are bound up to the knee), sexy suede overknee boots - I like my overknee boots to be of mid-thigh length, sneakers (have so many omg..leather and suede (apart from the one pair of Nike sneakers I like to wear on long haul flights. various models, various colours), various black combat boots that look more delicate than ugly and harsh, lace-up high heels, platform pumps, I LOVE high heels! gosh… it’s hard to describe without naming the designers and the particular models because it all sounds so vague and ugly haha! I like classy shoes as much as I like very special models like embellished shoes or just some fancy colours, etc.

* Silk Pajamas - I have a pair of baby pink ones and a pair of baby blue ones.

* Lingerie - am a lingerie addict, but which girl isn’t?

* Silk Robes - long dressing robes, short morning robes, everything. Black, white, red, and the pastel colours from above (babypink, babyblue)

* Invest in good stockings! Quite a few pairs of normal black ones. And black ones with the sexy seam at the backside for more..well, special evenings and occasions ;)

* Hats - Maison Michel; different colours, made of felt 


These are pretty much my staples. I am so sure that I have forgotten many many other things, but this should suffice. I have written a post on my personal fragrance choices which you might want to check out if you are interested in this as well!

Any more questions, just ask!

Sometimes I wish I could consult for cosmetic companies… like they need to chill the F out with their constant releases. I’ve talked to so many people that like makeup but aren’t obsessed but just feel constantly bombarded with makeup now more than ever. It’s so daunting entering the world of makeup when companies are shoving new stuff down your throat every second. Then makeup influencers use like 60 products for one look. Urban decay just came out with their 100 lipsticks and nobody’s talking about them because they then launched more stuff right after. Y'all remember when the second naked palette came out and it was like the only big launch they had for the entire year? Then tarte cosmetics and too faced come out with some tacky eyeshadow kit thing every other day. They are both so tacky now. This is why companies like glossier/milk/pat McGrath are killing it. Especially glossier and pat McGrath. They both have a very small selection of products but everything is carefully launched and super high quality. Like the products live up to the hype. Ugh! Someone pay me to consult!!!! God damn.