god what the hell is wrong with me

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 2

We did it amigos. Another list! I am so grateful that you all are sharing your ideas to help inspire others (faith in humanity restored)

  1. “Where is my fucking pudding?!”
  2. “I thought we agreed to never use butter for that reason again…”
  3. “Well if it’s the guy who never shuts up about toilet paper!”
  4. “Honey, did you see my sniper rifle?”
  5. “Oops…”
  6. “God damn it he died. Whatever. Just leave him there.”
  7. “Listen, I know you’re upset, but please put down the baking soda before someone gets hurt.”
  8. “Look, about the monkey…”
  9. “I don’t understand! I only used a finger.”
  10. “It’s not as hard as you think, I promise.”
  11. “well this is what i call hell of a night”
  12. “How could an entire school disappear?”
  13. “What do you mean the brownies are "not quite brownies”?“
  14. "Yes, I understand that its cool, but why does your toaster have wings?” “Well its alive of course. It flies.”
  15. “Don’t turn that on!”
  16. “Wait…I’m also- technically- underage and you’re a stranger…should I be screaming also?”
  17. “I though you meant "literally” metaphorically. “
  18. "Ok so don’t get mad but I might have started a war.”
  19. “Good morning… I see the assassins failed again.”
  20. “You’re a murderer, how are you working at a hospital?”
  21. “That cat just stole my cereal!”
  22. “Did you see that? Please tell me you saw it.”
  23. “Hey, can you stop shooting people right now? We’re trying to sleep.”
  24. “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS KEITH!”
  25. “If you think I’m leaving you and your demon eyes and evil horns you’re wrong.”
  26. “What do you mean, this isn’t Earth?”
  27. “Damn it, ____! Not peanuts again!”
  28. “Why did I just press the big red button?”
  29. “So tell me again why this dead body is being sent to Goodwill?”
  30. “Lucifer, I know that we said we would share rent but you never said anything about your brother living with us.”
  31. “God dammit, I’m supposed to be a bat! Why the hell am I a possum, Karen?!”
  32. “Sarah, where’s the dog?” “Up in space?”
  33. “You had only one job and it wasn’t even a difficult task, but seriously, how did you end up like this!?”
  34. “Well I never said I WASN’T going to kill the bartender …”
  35. “I mean, it was only a small eldritch being, so it wasn’t that bad…”
  36. “Hold me back bro!”
  37. “I think there’s a new lifeform evolving in my fridge.”
  38. “WHAT THE FUCK?!”
  39. “Can we have lunch now, or do you still want to continue looking at dead people?”
  40. “I can’t believe you ate my cheese…we’re over”
  41. “Sometimes I wonder why we’re still friends.” “Because I turned you into a cyborg after being shredded by an explosion and you owe me.” “…Fair enough.”
  42. “Well, I didn’t quite expect to wake up pregnant either and yet… here we are, so can you please pass me that can of bread?”
  43. “Ok, I know I said ‘You can throw a hairbrush at them’, but I didn’t actually mean it!”
  44. “When I told you to feed the dog I didn’t expect you to feed him the neighbors cat.”
  45. “Clearly, you’ve never gotten rid of a body before…”
  46. “This sort of thing never happened when I was dating your brother.”
  47. Sometimes, I wonder about you. And then I worry.“
  48. ” Wait, wait, wait, start from the very beginning. how did you manage to set the house on fire with that??“
  49. "For fucks sake, dude, how many times do I have to tell you that that’s not what penises are for?”
  50. “One woman’s terrorist is another woman’s freedom fighter.”
  51. “This isn’t right… the humans shouldn’t be able to move on their own.”
  52. “Why is unicorn blood on our shopping list?”
  53. “Must you unhinge your jaw like that when you eat? It’s disgusting.”
  54. “You’ve violated the law, my trust, and your friend. Tell me, why should I believe anything you say?”
  55. “No, no don’t open the fridge, I need to keep they eyeballs cold.”
  56. “did he break his jaw again by falling down a flight of stairs?” “Passive aggressive much?”
  57. “For the last time, put the declaration of independence back!”
  58. "That isn’t permanent, right?”
  59. “You know, ripping someone’s beating heart right out of their chest with your bare hand looks cool in anime, but irl it’s just unsanitary…”
  60. “She didn’t tell you” “Tell me what” “He’s dead”
  61. “But his dad is an asshole–” “HIS AUTHOR IS AN ASSHOLE”
  62. “You are here and you haven’t tried to kill me yet. You must want something from me.”
  63. “The salesperson made a flying tentacle monster sound a lot more alluring, I swear!”
  64. “Okay…the radiator just growled at me”
  65. “Dude, were you listening to me? Why are you barking?” “I’m not barking. I thought YOU were barking!”
  66. “How did you get that bump on your lip”
  67. “Buddy. You need to chill, and put that knife away before I get out my gun.”
  68. “ ” I dare you to take your shirt off" “ no” “ I doubledare you” “No” “I tripledare you” “ god dammit Steve , im not wearing a Shirt!”“
  69. "Why the fuck are there founding fathers in our living room”
  70. “Girls only say 'I will not dignify that with a response.’ when they’ve done the thing you’ve just accused them of.” “Do you know this, because you’ve done it?” “I will not dignify that with a response.”
  71. “They think we’re terrible but really we’re only mediocre”
  72. “You’d think by now we’d stop bringing death into these things. Look at them, they have anxiety!”
  73. “Ok, first of all asshat, stop touching me. Second, that is never going to work out! Third, stop TOUCHING me.”
  74. “So if I do understand, you’re telling me that you created insects robots. The same one that destroyed the city. ”
  75. “Why is THIS in your fridge? This is some serious contraband.”
  76. “Please tell me you’re joking about marrying the bastard’s son we call Satan.” “ Don’t talk about your mother like that!!”
  77. “Did you explode the microwave again?!”
  78. "Honey where’s the dog?” “Like I said, I’m making a smoothie.”
  79. “Fifteen bucks you can’t hook up with Satan.” “Make it twenty.”
  80. “I don’t know, maybe because he has some semblance of taste?
  81. "What could possibly make you think eating three tons of cheese for the mice in radiation-test labs was okay?!”
  82. “Who actually let the dogs out?”
  83. “Hey, you don’t know how many bodies are buried in my backyard.”
  84. “I told you to kill me.” “I did. Just this morning.” “Well, shit!”
  85. “So… This isn’t the end, is it? I mean I still want to hang out with you at least. Maybe go for another space adventure, hm?”
  86. “I’m sorry, it was the HEAT OF THE MOMENT,”
  87. "Hey, wanna go out for a romantic moonlight killing spree?”
  88. “So, you’re into …..? Huh, I never would’ve known.”
  89. “Did you hear that scream?” “Yes, I’m the one who screamed”
  90. “What are you doing?”
  91. “But really, why would anyone need two dozen armadillos?”
  92. “You can’t keep 'solving’ your problems by going to another dimension!”
  93. “I still can’t believe you assassinated a unicorn.”
  94. “Wait, you have FOUR knives?” “No, no. I have four knives ON me.”
  95. “I’ve killed a man using only a copy of Hamlet and a computer mouse. I am NOT afraid of you!" 
  96. "What the hell are those?”
  97. “Are you sure you’re not an arsonist?”
  98. “I know, right? You’d suspect any of them of secretly being an alien, but not…”
  99. “Why didn’t you stop?”
  100. “So, start explaining why there are dozens of puppies in my guest room.”

Let’s make another list. Part 3! Leave a reply and don’t forget the double quotes “”. I want to give everyone a chance to contribute to our community. So as always, one prompt per amigo. Dankje! 

what i thought when i watched  “ a date with markiplier “ video

  • BONJOUR 
  • wait … we can choose our story 
  • wow … i actually have a valentine date this year 
  • that chef does not look friendly 
  • WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MARK AND MONEY IN THIS GOD DAMN DATE 
  • romance or horror ? you mean love or death right 
  •  looks like i am gonna spend the rest of the day finding all the endings
  • oops i accidentally killed mark
  • well looks like dark is my date now
  • DON’T DO THAT WITH YOUR NECK MISTER  
  • wait .. is that Tyler with mark on his face ? 
  • wait whAt ?!? nooo i wanted to marry mark for real 
  • could you imagine dating mark ? 
  • nice pony tail mark 
  • LET . HIM . DIG . THE . GOD . DAMN . HOLE 
  • it litterily 10 min of this , help 
  • “ let me see what in your pants “ “ excuse me ? “ 
  • wow i actually killed someone 
  • “ looks like you choose wrong “  “ naaah i’m good “ 
  • sooooo are we gonna talk about tyler’s ass ? 
  • oops killed mark again 
  • FIRST RULE OF HORROR MOVIES : never . split . up 
  • am i the only one who tapped the screen like an idiot 
  • did i mention i killed mark 
  • wait , i am  allergic to peanut butter AND tuna , HEELP 
  • OMG WARFSTACHE IS BACK !!!! 
  • DAMN IT ! i knew i was a dog all along 
  • *sigh* what the hell was in that dinner 
@markiplier
Masterlist

Mobile-Friendly

Fics marked with * are ones that are either fan favorites or ones I am really proud of

Newt Scamander

Scars

Occamy Incident

Work Partners

You’re a Cinnamon Roll!

Sickness Sucks *

Queenie’s Matchmaking 101

Don’t Tell Me How To Raise My Children

Jealous

Your Scars

Drunk

Protective

She’s a No-Maj?

Newt Scamander’s Day Off

Escaped Niffler

Back Home

I Love You, and Only You *

Tell Me Everything

You Seem Familiar

An Arranged Marriage

Don’t Worry Darling *

Don’t I Know You?

Pet Store AU

Animagi

Fear of the Thunderbird

Dating Newt Scamander Would Include…

Perfect

Writer

Teaching Newt How To Cook Would Include…

I Think I’m In Love With My Tutor *****

Newt Dating a Photographer Would Include…

Newt Being the Little Spoon Would Include…*

Of Course I Believe in Magic

How Many Freckles Do You Have?

Dating Modern!Newt Scamander Would Include…

Rainy Days

Draco Malfoy

You’re the Best Thing That’s Ever Happened to Me

Leave Her Alone *

Leave Her Alone Pt. 2

What Would They Say?

Bad Day

I Don’t Want to Be the Reason You Get Hurt *

Injured Rabbit

Dating Draco Malfoy Would Include… *

Can I Take Your Picture?

A Taste Of Your Own Medicine

A Taste Of Your Own Medicine Pt. 2

Draco Malfoy Loving Musicals Would Include…

Yule Ball

Cuddling With Draco Malfoy Would Include…

Drabbles

Newt

“Honey, do you know where my–what the hell happened to you?”

“Did they hurt you?”

“I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid.”

“Don’t shut me out.”

“The skirt is supposed to be this short.” & “How long have you been standing there?”

“I’ll kick his ass if you want me too.”

“If you use up all the hot water again, I swear to God!  You’re on the couch for a month!” & “Quit it or I’ll bite you.”

Draco

“Do that one more time and see what happens.”

“Please enlighten me with why you have detention this week, love.”

“I just like proving you wrong.”

“Did they hurt you?”

“The skirt is supposed to be this short.”

A Cinderella Story | 01

Min Yoongi | Fluff | Comedy | Smut | ACS!au | Fratboy!Yoongi | 

word count: 10k+

warnings: cumplay, mutual masturbation, phone sex, tribute, explicit language

❝ Your infatuation with Min Yoongi has to be what is the most exhausting part of your life, and in an attempt to help you get over him your friends convince you to join an online adult chat room. Unbeknownst to you the online freak you’ve been sexting for the better half of a year is your childhood crush. Just how much worst could this situation get? One fated night, a confession gone wrong and a lost phone with an almost laughable amount of nudes on it will tell all.  ❞


Keep reading

Modern High Lords AU

Rhys: Which one of you assholes forgot the popcorn?

Kallias: *puts his hands up* Okay, I told Helion that it was his turn bring the popcorn…I swear I did, because he said, “You know what else is poppin’?” 

Helion: I brought kettlecorn because it’s better.

All: *groan*

Thesan: Is it microwaved or airpopped? Because microwavable popcorn will kill you–

All: *groan*

Tarquin: Shut up, it’s starting. *He’s wrapped in a blanket on the couch because it is freezing in Rhysand’s apartment*

They all quickly sit down on the couch.

Tarquin: Helion, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop–

Helion: I’m keeping you warm–

Rhys: Hey, not on this couch. This is my good couch. I like this couch. 

Tarquin: Nothing is happening on this couch! Now shut up because–

*Game of Thrones theme starts playing*

All: DUUUN DUUUN DUNDUNDUNDUUN DUUUN DUNDUNDUUN DUHDUH DUNDUN DUHDUH DUNDUN

Rhys: Hey, Beron didn’t try to show up this time!

Kallias: Yeah, because he tried to spoil the next episode. We kicked him out, remember?

Rhys: I thought that’s why we kicked out Tamlin.

Thesan: No, we kicked out Tamlin because he kept trying to fast forward to the sex scenes. *sly glance at Tarquin* At least Tamlin didn’t giggle

Tarquin: I am not that young! It was only because Helion was tickling me!

Helion: Aha so you admit you felt something!

Kallias: Hey, does anyone know where the females go when we watch this?

Rhys: They go to Nesta’s to watch something called ‘Magic Mike’…

Tarquin and Kallias: What the hell is that?

Helion and Thesan: Oh my god, we’re in the wrong apartment. 

Such A Sap ~Freaky February~ (S.R)

prompt: Hi, do you think you could write a Spencer Reid smut? Like, he gets jealous of Morgan flirting with the reader cause they’ve been dating for a year or so and has to claim her? You’re an awesome writer, I live for your smut <3

Pairing: Spencer x Reader

Word Count: 1.27k

Warning: None(a little long before you reach the smut)

Keep reading

Possession Sentence Starters

Send a sentence to my inbox for a starter in which one of our muses is possessed by a spirit, demon, or other being. Trigger warning for threats of violence, harsh language,  manipulation, and obviously sensitive religious content.

“You’re not eating. Are you okay?”
“Your breathing sounds rapid.”
“I’m concerned. You’re not yourself today.”
“We’ve brought you here because we’re all very worried about you.”
“What is -wrong- with you?”
“Seriously, it’s like you’re a different person! What the hell happened?”
“I don’t think I like this person you’re becoming.”
“Why? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Hey, calm down. You’re really scaring me right now.”
“Oh my God. Who - who are you? WHAT are you?!”
“You’re not [name] anymore.”
“What have you done with my friend?!” [change relationship as necessary]
“Oh God, you’re not even human!”
“Snap out of it! Come back!”
“Please, stay away from me. Don’t take another step closer.”
“You’re not fooling me. I know what you are.”
“Calm down, [name]. This will pass. This will pass.”
“Get out of my friend and never fucking come back!”
“I don’t believe you. You’re lying.”
“Why should I listen to anything a monster like you has to say?”
“You’re just a parasite. Nothing more than a slimy, pathetic parasite!”
“If you’re in there, you need to keep fighting. Don’t let this monster win!”
“It’s gone. It’s okay. I’m going to keep you safe.”


“I don’t feel so well.”
“Oh God, something is wrong with me.”
“I can feel it. It burns in my chest, it’s making it hard to breathe. Oh my god, there’s something inside of me.”
“I don’t want to be a monster.”
”I think I‘m going to be sick.”
“Please. Save me.”
“Get out! Get out of here!”
“I swear, I’ll cut you open if you come near me!”
“What are you afraid of? That I’ll hurt you?”
“Look, it’s still me. Don’t you love me?”
“Come back here! Don’t you walk away from me!”
“Oh, [name]~ I have a fun game we can play together~”
“I’m not [name] anymore. I. Am. God.”
“Pray for your life. I want to hear you beg for it.”
“Your friend is nothing but filth and rot, and I had no choice but to destroy them.”
“They’re gone now. I’m the only one left. It’s just you and me.”
“I’ve spoken to the devil, and he wants you next.”
“I’m not human. I’ve never been human, but you accepted me anyway.”
“Go! Leave before it comes back and rips you apart!”
“Please, kill me. It’s the only way to get it out of me.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Don’t let it take me. Please.”
“Is - is it gone?”
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

Forgetful

Word Count: 1,380
Reader Gender: Female i guess idk 

Warnings: Jealousy, arguement, him arguing with other girls, cursing

Love Interest: Peitro Maximoff
Note: There is a 200000/10 chance that there will be a second part

Originally posted by marvelprincesspants

Originally posted by sad--princes

I crossed my arms as I glared at him, waiting for him to finish his little show. Anger and irritation bubbled inside of me, and I mentally cursed myself for trusting him enough to leave him alone. I go into the shop for five fucking minutes, and I come out to this shit. I tried pulling him away from the girls that were flirting with him, but it just shrugged me off. The worst part about the whole thing? He was flirting back.

His ass was flirting with other people and he was loving it. I’m not sure if he got the memo, but he’s not single anymore. He’s in a relationship with me, and I have half a mind to kick his ass. I clutched harder at the plastic bag that was in my hand, the contents were requested by none other than the douche himself. I grunted, deciding that he wasn’t going to finish anytime soon. I walked up to him, gripping his shoulder and turning him around.

“We’re leaving.” I said sternly.

“Who’s the slut?” One of the girls asked.

“I’m his girlfriend.” I spat, anger coursing through me.

“Oh really? Then why is he over here?” Another girl asked.

“Slut.” The first one said.

“Pornhub called, honey, they say your resume is too extensive.” I spat.

“I’m not going anywhere, why don’t you find somewhere else to be.” Pietro offered in an annoyed tone.

“Fine,” I shoved the bag in his chest, walking away, “But you’re finding a new place to live.”

It didn’t take him long to appear at my side, but I didn’t acknowledge his existence. I was still beyond pissed at the little act he pulled moments ago. He wouldn’t like it if I did that stuff to him, he’d be pissed. I’d get my ear chewed off, so why does he think it’s okay for him to do it? I still had my arms crossed over my chest, a clear indication that I was angry. Despite my body language, he still tried to talk to me.

He said that he was confused, which just pissed me off even more. What the hell does he mean? He doesn’t get to be confused, he gets to feel like an ass. I sent a glare his way, instantly shutting him up. I looked away from him, rolling my eyes and focusing on getting home. I’ll deal with him there, right now I’m too angry to talk to him. He didn’t even stand up for me, he just let them trash talk me.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”Pietro shouted as I closed the door to the apartment.

“Oh, I don’t know, my boyfriend just completely forgot that my ass existed. Forgive me if I’m a little pissed off.” I glared, flipping him off.

“What are you talking about?” He asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“You were flirting with those girls! I heard you the entire time! One of them was even talking dirty to you!” I yelled, “God, Pietro, where do you draw the line?!”

“You’re just being jealous and oversensitive.” Pietro said, walking past me.

“I’m not any of those things! I’m just worried that maybe my boyfriend is cheating on me!” I yelled, feeling the anger mix with betrayal.

“I can’t help it, Y/n! The ladies like me, get over it. I’m not going to stop just because some worthless little girl doesn’t like it.” He spat, glaring at me.

I was silent for a moment, absorbing his words completely. Is that all I was to him? Just some little girl? Not his girlfriend or anything? My brows furrowed, and I took his words to heart. He can’t just get over himself for two seconds to listen to me? I took in a deep breath, realizing that his opinion on this matter wasn’t going to be changing anytime soon. I saw his face soften, and I wiped the tears away from my eyes.

“Worthless?” I questioned.

“Oh, come on, you know I didn’t mean it like that.” He reasoned.

“Then how did you mean it?” I asked quietly, but he didn’t respond, “That’s what I thought.”

With that, I quickly walked into the bedroom that him and I shared. I got out the suitcase that I took with me on extended missions. I started packing my things, no longer feeling welcome in here. I took a deep breath, sadness now kicking in rather than anger. I sighed, shaking my head as I shoved more clothes into the suitcase. I heard Pietro enter the room, thanks to the small breeze of wind that had picked up out of nowhere.

“What are you doing?” Pietro questioned.

“I am taking my worthless self out of here so you can continue living your wonderful life as a bachelor.” I said, zipping up the suitcase.

“You can’t leave me, Y/n. I love you, don’t do this to me.” He pleaded.

“Love me? You’ve been flirting and getting random chicks numbers the entire time you’ve been dating me, you don’t stand up for me when they insult me, then you call me a worthless little girl, and you have the audacity to say you love me?” I questioned, narrowing my eyes.

“Please, just stay with me.” He pleaded, and I sighed as I looked into his eyes.

He looked like a lost puppy on a rainy day.

“Do you promise to stop flirting with people that aren’t me?” I questioned, slightly hopeful.

“I,” He stuttered, “I don’t.” He trailed off and I shook my head, laughing dryly.

“It’s nice to know that the man I’ve been dating for 3 years doesn’t love me enough to actually act like he’s dating me.” I said, moving past him and to the door.

“You don’t understand.” Pietro said, blocking the door.

“I understood clearly when you called me worthless,” Tears formed, “I understood when you flirted with the other girls and acted like you didn’t know me,” My voice broke, “And I understood when you couldn’t even promise you’d stop. I’m not good enough, and I never will be.”

“Just give me another chance, Princessa.” He said, cupping my cheeks.

“Pietro, don’t you get it?” I removed his hands from my face, “I’m exhausted! I’m mentally and physically drained from trying to take the pressure and the hurt of your actions. From arguing with you over the same things. I’ve given you dozens of chances.” I huffed, and he went silent.

I shoved him out of the way, walking out and slamming the door shut. Tears fell from my eyes as I left the complex, my suitcase on my shoulders like it was a backpack. The weight of the entire event settled onto my mind, and I angrily wiped my eyes. I didn’t expect him and I to actually end, but if he thinks I’m not good enough for him then I’ll leave him be. I know when to push, and when to walk away, and today it was the ladder.

I found myself walking to Tony’s place, which was the only place I felt like I could go right now. Questions swam through my mind, drowning out everything else. Had he been cheating on me? When did he decide that I wasn’t good enough? I was just so tired of fighting to keep him, and fighting to make him see that what he was doing was wrong. I was emotionally exhausted, and, in turn, it made me physically exhausted.

“What are you doing here?” Tony asked, not looking at me as I entered the room.

“I,” I took a deep breath, “I was hoping I could stay here for a little while.”

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He turned around, hearing the sadness in my voice.

“It’s nothing.” I shook my head as he came closer.

“Well, I’d love to hear about nothing.” He joked.

“We broke up.” I held back a cry.

“What? Why? Do I need to kill him?” Tony asked, visibly concerned.

“He just makes me exhausted.” You sighed.

“Well, how about you have a seat and I’ll pour us some drinks?” He offered.

“What’s the price?” I eyes him.

“Dirt, details, blackmail.” He stated, turning around and going to get a couple glasses.

“So the usual?” I questioned, sitting down.

prompt: “oh my god! you’re in love with him!” “have you lost your fucking mind?” “did i enter an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?” “i’ve seen the way you look at me when you think i don’t notice” + “come over here and make me”

pairing: bucky x reader

word count: 1.7k+

prompt list: click here

warnings: minor swearing, confrontation

a/n: this is cute + my requests are open

“So, are you gonna tell him or should I do the deed?”

The sound of Steve’s voice snapped Y/N back to reality. She hastily tore her gaze away from the screen of her laptop, allowing it travel across the room to where the blonde super soldier was attempting to clean his shield, not even looking at her.

They were the only people in the room so he couldn’t have been talking to anyone else. Despite this, Steve’s eyes were elsewhere and his tone was so nonchalant Y/N could almost pretend she didn’t know what he meant. But she did.

She cleared her throat, lifting her laptop from her lap and pulling her legs underneath her. She balanced the device on the arm rest instead and attempted to act as though she had no clue what Steve was talking about.

“Tell who, what?” She murmured, pretending her focus was solely on the screen of her laptop even though she could already feel her heart speeding up. 

“You know damn well what I’m talking about.”

Y/N watched from the corner of her eye as Steve examined the now clean shield and propped it against the side of the sofa. He proceeded to throw his arm over the many cushions piled next to him and finally looked towards her.

When Y/N didn’t answer, Steve narrowed his eyes in nothing but annoyance. Y/N was being so damn stubborn it was slowly driving him insane.

“You’ve been avoiding him for weeks, Y/N. Every time he enters the room, you turn tomato red and make up some lame excuse about how you have to go. It’s getting kind of tiring,” Steve argued and Y/N sighed. Steve had been pestering her about her crush on Bucky for at least a month now; ever since she drunkedly told him about her feelings, he’s been urging her to confess to Bucky. The only problem was, Y/N didn’t exactly feel like making the first move. So, until the time Bucky would maybe develop a crush on her; or maybe until the time Y/N finally gained some courage, she’d stay away from him and try to repress her annoying feelings. It was a good plan and so far she’d been pretty successful at sticking to it.

“I mean, come on,” Steve continued. “He came to my room a few nights ago to ask if you were alright. He even considered the option of you being mad at him, but then he realised there was nothing he had done wrong.”

Y/N huffed in annoyance. “Just drop it, Steve.”

“I’m not gonna drop it until you finally tell him.” Steve crossed his arms over his chest, cocked one brow and looked at her expectantly. 

In response, Y/N shut her laptop closed and stared back at him venomously. 

“What the hell do you expect me to say to him, huh? It’s not that simple if you haven’t noticed.”

Oh my god! You’re in love with him, Y/N! It’s pretty fucking simple. You say three words, you kiss him, and it’s done. Dusted.”

Y/N was up on her feet in under a second.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?”

Before Steve could register what was happening, Y/N was tackling him on the sofa and clamping her hand over his mouth. Steve was mumbling something about watching her language into her palm and trying to fight her off, but Y/N had him pinned down. She wouldn’t have done it if it weren’t for the sound of footsteps coming from down the hall and she wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea of the whole team knowing about her silly little crush.

“Who’s out of their mind?” 

She rolled off of Steve and pretended nothing had happened. Bruce was now in the room, and behind him was Nat and Buck. They had clearly just returned from the city; bags of purchases in their hands and Nat was explaining something to Bucky until Bruce had interrupted.

“Steve, but that’s not news to anyone,” Y/N rolled her eyes and Steve scoffed behind her. He pushed himself up and sent Y/N a warning look before walking over to Bruce.

“What did you guys do?”

He curled his finger around the top of one of the bags Bruce had set down on the chaise lounge and glanced inside. Y/N looked towards Bucky.

“A lot, lot of shopping,” Bruce answered. “We’ve been so busy lately we completely forgot to prepare for our vacation next week.”

Steve nodded in understanding. 

“There’s still a bunch of bags in the trunk. Wanna help me out?” The blonde soldier nodded and followed Bruce towards the exit.

“I’ll take my bags to my room and I’ll be right down!” Nat called after them. She gave Y/N a small smile, turned on her heel and headed in the opposite direction.

It was just Y/N and Bucky.

A moment of awkward silence ensued.

“So, what did Steve do?” Bucky asked after a while, toying with the set of keys in his hands. He was wearing jeans and a sweater, no shoes. He probably ran into Bruce and Nat in the hallway upon their return because there was no sign of shopping bags in his hands and he honestly looked like he had just woken up from a nap.

“Steve’s just… being his annoying self,” she answered with a shrug of her shoulders. Y/N slowly pushed herself up from the sofa, walked back to her previous spot and picked up her laptop. She was just about to head back to her room when Bucky’s voice stopped her.

“You’re leaving already?”

She swallowed loudly. “I guess so.”

“Come on, Y/N,” Bucky looked at her pleadingly. “We haven’t hung out in what feels like forever. You’ve been avoiding me for weeks and we haven’t spoken for longer than a minute in, what, two months?”

“I’ve just been… busy.”

Sure,” he responded, and Y/N could tell he didn’t believe her. It wasn’t a surprise. Her lie wasn’t in the least bit convincing.  

“I miss you, you know?” He told her in a voice so soft it made her insides hurt. “I miss you coming into my room at midnight to talk and just, like, watching movies and stuff. Steve hates slasher films and you know I don’t like watching them alone.”

Y/N felt the corner of her lips curling up into an amused little grin. Steve really did hate slasher movies and every time he’d walk in on Y/N and Buck watching one, he’d groan and leave the room as fast as he had entered it. 

“There we go,” Bucky chuckled. “Did I enter an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”

Y/N hugged the laptop to her chest and rolled her eyes playfully.

“Oh, shut up,” she laughed, and Bucky did, too. “I don’t know, Buck. I don’t really have time for anyone lately. I’m all over the place.”

Buck’s brows knitted together and he shifted his weight from one leg to the other. 

“Really?” He asked. “Because it seems to me you have plenty of time for everyone, just not me.”

Y/N released a nervous little sigh. “It’s… complicated.”

She watched as Bucky threw the keys Nat had previously handed him onto the shelf and walked around the sofa to collapse onto it. Y/N didn’t say anything and neither did Bucky for a while. Not until she turned to leave again.

“You know, I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

Y/N stopped dead in her tracks and turned her head to look at Bucky over her shoulder. He was already staring back at her, his arms draped over the back of the sofa on either side of him, and a satisfied grin across his lips. He had her full attention and he was more than happy with that.

A second passed before Y/N turned around to face him fully. She was doing everything in her power to keep her expression neutral.

“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” she muttered, but she was clearly avoiding his gaze, her eyes glued to the shopping bags scattered across the floor.

“I think you do,” Bucky smirked knowingly and Y/N almost gulped. Damn, maybe she wasn’t as good at this whole repressing and hiding thing as she had initially thought. Maybe it was time to come up with a different strategy.

“You like me,” the brunette stated matter-of-factly and Y/N tried to look shocked at his assumption, she really did, but some time between Buck chuckling and her trying to gasp, failing, and ending up coughing, she only ended up looking silly. 

“No, I don’t,” she lied pathetically and Bucky laughed again. It wasn’t a mocking sort of laughter; more of a “I can’t believe how bad you are at lying” sort of laughter and Y/N felt like she had been punched in the gut.

“Yes, you do. Steve confirmed this for me, and now I know he was right.”

Y/N pretended to look annoyed. “Steve is an idiot.”

“Damn right, he is. But you like me,” he argued, and Y/N wanted to groan out loud. Her cheeks were burning red and she wanted to hide in a dark room somewhere where no one could find her.

“Shut up,” she told him, trying her best to be serious, but her pink cheeks had Bucky laughing even more. He thought she was cute, and even though Y/N tried to seem tough, with Bucky it wasn’t all that easy.

“I won’t,” Bucky challenged. “I won’t unless you come over here and make me.”

Y/N stood her ground. “I’m not coming anywhere near you because you’re a fucking imbecile.”

“An imbecile, you say? Is that what you should call the guy you’re in love with?” His left brow was cocked and the amused grin across his face was so infuriating Y/N wanted nothing more than to wipe it off of that smug little face of his. But she remained quiet and after a while Bucky stood up again. He walked towards her, and sent her a cheeky little smile.

He was just about to walk past her and leave when her voice stopped him.

“You’re not gonna let me live this down, are you?”

Bucky laughed, and the sound was both endearing and irritating at the same time.

“Not until you find the courage to ask me out on a date,” he answered casually, his left eye dropping into a teasing wink. “I’ll be in my room when you do.”


@arielsimaginess@wellthatsrandomkek@brittany1248@gabbievl@forestxpertise@aya-fay@geekynation@smithaslan@all-of-the-little-infinites@sweetheartmyass@ishasal@jenma-simmons@interstellarhoodlum@hellkat2@bowtiesandapplepie@donttouchmeormypizza@somethingwitty-somethingsweet@kaijasimagines@thecityandcoffee@debbielovesbucky@marrsox@r3stl3ss-minds@sleeping-with-the-snakes@woahfairytail@marvelgirl2118@lipkitharry@unevenpages@radxxregs@avisgranger@cutsieunicorn@fvckingfandomsandshit@nerdygirlykittykat@broken-fairy-wingss @forever-1a @akanthaonarose @vanilllakitty@cupcaitlyn96 @psingh97 @gothamroques

  • Ed: [Points a gun at Oswald] I am not letting you get away this time.
  • Oswald: [Kicks the gun out of Ed hand and kicks Ed to the ground]
  • Oswald: [Picks up the gun] that makes two of us
  • Oswald: [Fires the gun]
  • Oswald: [Looks at gun] what the hell?
  • Ed: OH MY GOD!!! YOU REALLY WANTED TO SHOOT ME!! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WERE ACTUALLY GOING TO KILL ME!!
  • Oswald: [Looks inside gun] BLANKS??? YOU HAVE BEEN CHASING ME AROUND FOR 2 DAYS STRAIGHT WITH A GUN FULL OF BLANKS??!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??
  • Ed: WELL I WASNT ACTUALLY GOING TO KILL YOU!!
  • Oswald: [Looks confused as fuck] WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WERE'NT ACTUALLY GOING TO KILL ME???
  • Ed: I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST PLAYING A GAME WHERE I CHASE YOU AROUND THE CITY THAN YOU CHASE ME AROUND THE CITY PRETENDING WE WANT TO KILL EACH OTHER OH MY GOD YOU REALLY WANTED ME TO DIE
  • Oswald: WHAT IN GODS NAME MADE YOU THINK I KNEW WE WERE PLAYING A GAME??!!
  • Ed: I JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING A GOOD ACTOR!!!
{PART 8} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU

Originally posted by jengkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, Fantasy, Angst, Smut

Summary; Jungkook takes his time consoling you, offering you the chance to fall down the rabbit hole into his world. Meanwhile, the presence outside your apartment makes itself known; at long last.

{Part 1} // {Part 7} {Part 8} {Part 9}

I update this series every Tuesday evening, 9pm-10pm (UK Time)

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anonymous asked:

Made up fic title: "Just The Tip" fandom, spn obvi

oh man. gotta go with the classic “sam is eavesdropping and hears some shit he REALLY didn’t want to hear but turns out dean & cas are just trying to figure out this fucking ikea dresser”

interior: bunker. sam has come back earlier than expected from a library run because it turns out KSU did not, in fact, have the documents he was looking for. he tried calling but dean doesn’t answer his fucking phone, apparently.

so sam is walking through the bunker, texting eileen, seeing if she wants to skype later. he’s been working on his ASL - he thinks he might be able to string a few sentences together without eileen laughing at him. and he passes dean’s room and he hears - 

“Jesus, Cas! Not so hard! You gotta just - ease it in.”

sam double-takes. and then double-takes again. because - what the fuck.

“We tried that already,” Cas says, exasperated. “It doesn’t fit. It just needs some extra force.”

“It only doesn’t fit because you’re putting it in the wrong place!”

what, sam thinks, the actual fuck. and then he thinks, where the hell else would cas be putting it? he leans closer to the door, cracked open an inch. he’s a masochist like that.

“Fine. You show me how it’s done, then.”

“Gimme that. Okay. Look - this is the right hole.”

“Oh my god,” Sam whispers, and wishes he could walk the fuck away but it’s like staring at a car crash - he can’t look away. and - jesus. he’s listening to the culmination of years and years and years of sexual tension and pining and being the third wheel to their ridiculous teenager bullshit. 

“And you just - push it in slowly?”

“Well–no. You gotta screw it in. Just the tip first, you see?”

screw it in???? what the fuck?

sam leans closer. because, again: he’s a goddamn masochist.

there’s a silence which even sam can tell is cas sulking. “You’re better at this than I am.” He sounds accusatory.

“No shit. I have a lot more experience than you. It’s okay, bud - you’ll get used to it.”

“Will you help teach me?”

“I mean, Sam’s pretty good at this too - “ WHAT THE FUCK, sam thinks, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK “ - but yeah, I’ll teach you. What the hell, maybe we could make a group effort out of it.”

sam loses his balance and falls through the fucking door. because dean just - did dean just - did he - offer a threesome? 

except. he crashes through the door and into the floor, and dean and cas are staring at him, and they’re fully clothed, sitting on the floor, and that’s - a bundle of shelves and … Ikea instructions?

“Um,” Sam says. 

“Dude, you could have just come in like a normal person,” Dean says.

“Are you alright?” Cas asks. He looks very concerned for Sam’s physical and mental wellbeing. 

“I thought - “ Sam starts, and falters. He pushes himself back up to his feet and clears his throat. “I tripped,” he says, lamely. “Um. What are you doing?”

“Building a dresser,” Dean says, like Sam is an idiot.

“But,” Sam says, “you both already have dressers?”

“Well, yeah. But there’s not enough space in my room for two.” Dean is looking very studiously at the instructions. His cheeks are very pink. 

Sam opens his mouth and closes it again. “What?” he asks.

Dean shrugs. “Cas is moving into my room.” He won’t look at Sam. “We’re, um. Giving it a trial run.”

“Oh,” Sam says. 

Dean bristles - actually bristles, shoulders squaring, a scowl crossing his face. “That’s it?” he demands. “’Oh’? If you have a problem with it, you can just fucking tell me!”

“No, no - I don’t! I don’t! I swear, I’m super happy for you guys, I just - I thought I was hearing - I mean - ”

Sam falters. Then, weakly, he says, “I mean … ‘just the tip’?”

There’s a long silence.

“I don’t understand,” Cas says. Dean’s pink face has turned brilliantly red.

“You were listening to us because you thought we were having sex?” Dean shouts.

Sam is fast. Dean is faster. Dean’s self-righteous shouting echoes through the bunker for hours.

Punk (Chap. 2)

Originally posted by kryzx

Summary: You’re head over heels for your best friend Bucky and hate the nickname he gave you as it doesn’t exactly scream romance.

Word count: 1805

Warnings: Cursing, low-self esteem, chubby!reader x bucky, idk….

A/N:  I hope you like this chapter, for some reason I enjoy it a lot though it’s not much.  I have a three day weekend coming up so hopefully I can continue working on my fics.  Thanks for your patience and I LOVE the feedback :]


 

Natasha Romanov was many things: ace assassin, hotshot hacker, super spy.  Pleasant in the morning?  No. Not one of her virtues. You might as well have poked a sleeping bear with a pointy stick; their reactions were generally the same.  Though the bear was more likely to let you live, come to think of it.  But desperate times called for desperate measures.

 The red head cradled her mug as she shuffled back towards the bed with eyes half open.  You took that as an invitation, though it probably wouldn’t work on vampires, you’d have to remember that should the time come.  You kicked the door shut and plopped onto the bed where a half-naked Clint was slowly entering the world of consciousness.  You signed “good morning” to him once his confused expression grazed from Natasha and back to you.  He grinned puckishly before speaking aloud, “Is it my birthday?”

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Cops&Criminals AU prompts
  • Disclaimer: All of these are mine, free for grabs. I just want to know if you write them because I want to read them. Some are darker, some are crack material. Enjoy!
  • 1: You’re holding me in a chokehold and there’s a gun pressed against my temple, I shouldn’t feel the way I’m feeling about it, but I can’t help it, fuck.
  • 2: I came to make a deal with some shady gang and there you are, tied up and bruised, great, now I have to make the deal about you so that I can get you out of there.
  • 3: You turned me in to the police and I’m going to jail, but you keep saying it was for my own good, are you fucking serious? Also why can’t I hate you?
  • 4: My boss ordered me to drive you to the desert and kill you there, god damn it stop crying there, it’s so pathetic, no, I’m not letting you go, are you mad, oh god, stop, it’s starting to get on my nerves and… am I starting to feel sorry for you?
  • 5: My boss ordered me to drive you to the desert and kill you there, but you have no idea and keep talking about our future, please stop, I can’t take it.
  • 6: I’m a priest and you’re that one guy who comes to confess his crimes every week, son, could you go to the police already, I’ve had enough of hearing about murders, also, stop saying how much you love my voice, okay, it makes me really uncomfortable.
  • 7: We’re holding you captive and I’m supposed to feed you, I swear if you try to bite me again, I’ll punch you in the face.
  • 8: We’re holding you captive and I take care of you, I had to leave, now I’ve come back and you’re not in the state I left you in, what the hell have they done to you?
  • 9: I’m a hooker and you are a cop, you gave me your number like a year ago during some investigation in this area and sorry, I know it’s 2 am but I’m in real trouble and could you please come and save me?
  • 10: I’ve kidnapped you and I’m trying to film a very menacing video of me asking for ransom but you keep giggling and apparently I’ll have to gag you, you stupid idiot.
  • 11: My partners in crime finally decided to kill you, but after the weeks of holding you captive I grew kinda fond of you. I was trying to keep cool, but when they held the gun to your head, you looked at me and whispered you weren’t afraid, and I lost my shit.
  • 12: I’m a cop, we found you in the dark alley during my patrol and I thought you were dead, but then you grabbed my hand, what the fuck, you scared the hell out of me.
  • 13: We’re held hostage together and you keep coming up with crazy plans to escape, just shut up, you’re delusional and it annoys me.
  • 14: Hi, I’m your cellmate, welcome to hell. Oh… damn, shouldn’t you be like in juvenile, you’re a fucking baby, are you alright, do you want me to hold you?
  • 15: I’m on the run, jumped into your car, aimed a gun at you and yelled at you to drive but oh my god, you’re like the worst driver in the world, I’m fucked.
  • 16: I’m at Starbucks ordering coffee late at night, you’re the barista and why the hell are you staring at me like that, oh shit, I didn’t notice I had blood on my clothes.
  • 17: I accidentally witnessed your kidnapping, now I’m no hero but hold on tight, I’m still coming to the rescue.
  • 18: We’re holding you captive but you got really sick, hell we need you alive, you can’t die on us, what’s wrong with you, is it pneumonia or what, what am I supposed to do, will some Advil do or do I need to rob a pharmacy now?
  • 19: I’m a cop, you’re resisting arrest and now I’m practically sitting on you trying to handcuff you and… are you actually laughing?
  • 20: Listen, I’d be okay with you breaking in my apartment and stealing my things, but you managed to kill my hamster in the process, now I’m coming for you, you bastard, do you hear me?
Jon knows what Sansa needs

Ygritte: “Men shouldn’t smell sweet like flowers.”
Jon: “What’s wrong with flowers?”

Damn right Jon, what’s wrong with flowers? 

Look what Jon wants to do for you, Ygritte:

If I could show her Winterfell … give her a flower from the glass gardens, feast her in the Great Hall, and show her the stone kings on their thrones. We could bathe in the hot pools, and love beneath the heart tree while the old gods watched over us.

Hell yes boy, you are #winning #at #romance.

AND JON! LOOK WHO WOULD APPRECIATE THAT FLOWER:

“At the Hand’s tourney, don’t you remember? You gave me a rose. A red rose. You threw white roses to the other girls that day.” It made her flush to speak of it. “You said no victory was half as beautiful as me.” 

He doesn’t remember, Sansa realized, startled. He is only being kind to me, he doesn’t remember me or the rose or any of it.

Worth The Risk {Part 11}

Bucky x Reader
Summary: Bucky knew that all Steve wanted was for him to get along with her, but was it really worth the risk?

Part 01 / Part 02 / Part 03 / Part 04 / Part 05 / Part 06 / Part 07 / Part 08 / Part 09 / Part 10 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 

Word Count: 2376
Warnings: angst

A/N: Look who finally finished part 11! But also real talk though, seeing a professional doesn’t make you weak or lesser as a person. BUT not all types of help work for everyone and I strongly encourage anyone going through stuff to find a way of support and recovery that works for them. Take care of yourself, you guys <3

Originally posted by pxggycxrters

You’d been hunched over your desk, absorbed in your work when a knock at the door pulled you out of your thoughts. Leaning back in your chair, you set down your pen and listened. The knock sounded again and you called out to FRIDAY, letting Sam in.

He’d been visiting you regularly over the past few days and as he entered the room you noticed the disapproving look he threw you. You weren’t surprised; you knew exactly why he was upset. He hated it when you buried yourself in work, yet there you were doing just that: anything to distract yourself.

You let out a small sigh and closed the binder in front of you, turning to face the older man.

“Hey.” You greeted, voice hoarse from lack of use.

“Hey,” he replied. “How are you doing?”

Sam took a seat on the edge of your bed and you shrugged. There was a pause and you opened your mouth to speak, but Sam beat you to it.

“I brought you something.”

You hadn’t expected that.

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Dive

Title: Dive

Pairing: Female reader x Dean

Theme song: Dive by Ed Sheeran

Summary: Dean’s catching feelings for the reader and needs to be convinced to dive in

A/N: This song just has such quiet bar vibes. 

Word count: 2,000ish

Your name: submit What is this?

The old bartender working the quiet Tuesday afternoon shift had poured Dean another glass of whiskey before he’d even opened his mouth to ask for it. Dean looked up from his hands long enough to give a nod of thanks before pulling the new glass to his lips and taking a sip.

The bartender returned the bottle to its shelf and smiled behind his wiry beard.

“Thought you could use another,” he said, “You’ve got that look.”

“You’re not wrong,” Dean said.  The man waited; Dean said nothing.

“So what is it?” he pressed. “Love? Money?”

“Those the usual culprits?” Dean asked. The bartender kept his smile, waiting. Dean looked down at his glass again and turned it slow in his hands. Pushing away from the counter, the old man grabbed a mostly dirty rag and started away, taking the hint and his leave.

“You let me know if you need another,” he said over his shoulder.

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Hot For Teacher [Rick Grimes x Reader]

Character: Rick Grimes

Word Count: 4,022

Prompt/Summary: High School/University AU 

Warnings: Smut, Language, Dirty Talk, Taboo Relationship, Unprotected Sex

Note: I’m baaacccckkkk! Sorry, it took me so long to start writing again, this pesky thing called real life kept getting in the way. Anyway, here is some STRAIGHT UP FILTH for @such-a-common-girl ‘s 1K Writing Challenge. Congrats Ana! No one deserves 1K more than you, girl! Enjoy!

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Bucky the Jerk, part 2

HI GUYS

ok, um, HOW WHAT!!!

so many people liked the first part and some even reblogged it and all of you wonderful precious pandas want to be tagged - my heart will explode!!

thank you all so much! I bring you chapter 2, with even more jerkiness and general confusion :) Please let me know what you think!

Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky is being a dick to you, and you can’t understand why is he the only one from Avengers who doesn’t like you.

Chapter summary and warnings: A bit more of Bycku being a dick. nothing to warm about yet :)

Nat and Wanda wouldn’t leave your side all day long, with Sam occasionally appearing out of nowhere to pull a face at you.
You felt a little bit better, almost altogether forgetting about the idiot who made your life at the Tower hell.

You often tried to piece together everything that happened between you and Barnes - every jab, every insult, every condescending smirk. But you couldn’t understand why in the world he’d act like that. Everyone else accepted you right away. He was there with Steve, Tony, and Wanda when they took you out of the Asylum.

“You don’t think I’m nuts?” you asked Wanda meekly. She was holding you up with Steve or Barnes constantly hovering around, ready to catch your weak, tortured body.
“I know you’re not, sweetheart. Thank fuck for Tony finding out about this… We’re gonna take care of you, I promise.”

Those memories of early days often flooded your mind. Your strange powers weren’t exactly useful to the team, as it seemed at first, but then you proved yourself on quite a few occasions and became an irreplaceable asset to them.

Everyone seemed to like you, take care of you while you were still weak, help you adjust. Everyone except him - fucking Barnes.

At first, you thought he was kinda cute, and his demeanor was just a sulk, which Steve confirmed. But then everyone else started noticing it too - he would barely talk to you, and if he did - it was always something rude. He always made fun of the things you wore, teased you relentlessly about everything. Books you read, how much you slept, your beautiful colourful teacups, one of which he made you break. The other members tried to protect you, appalled at his sudden cruelty - but he dismissed it all as “harmless fun”. You got on really well with Nat and Wanda, and sometimes Sam and Steve would also join you three to hang out. They all said he never acted like this with anyone. Sulk - sure, his past was enough for him to want to be alone a lot and to have a less than sunny disposition. But him picking you out to make fun was just strange.

It went on like that for a couple of months - him being a dick, the team being a bridge between you two, or at least trying. But then, two closest people to you - Wanda and Natasha - suddenly stopped trying to protect you and let him poke his fun at you. You were sad and angry and couldn’t open your mouth to ask them why, but then, in a huff of defiance, decided it would build your character - and started answering him with equally nasty remarks.

But sometimes, like today, he still got to you no matter the tough exterior you build especially for his shitty behavior. He didn’t even say anything that nasty - but he made you break your favourite cup and didn’t apologise, which sounded ridiculous when you thought about it. But there was something so intimate in that moment, you on the counter, sunrise, tea… And then he came in and ruined it. And your cup too!

In the early afternoon you, Wanda and Nat still sat in the common area, when Steve with a towel on his shoulder passed by.

“Hey Steve, are you going to the gym?” Nat called after him.

“Yeah,” he smiled, “Gotta keep in shape.”

You all rolled your eyes at that - yes, that’s exactly what a genetically enhanced super-soldier needs - a workout to keep in shape.

“Mind if we join you?” Natasha asked, standing up.

Your eyes went wide.

“Uuh, sure. We can all spar, it’ll be fun.”

You gulped.

“Fun?”

“Come on, Y/N, you said you wanted to get stronger. Why not start now?”

“But… now is so soon.”

You tried to crawl away, but Natasha and Wanda got you up and made you go to your room and change. They made sure to change themselves with the speed of light, so they could wait for you at your door and make sure you don’t run off.

“What’s this?” Natasha gestured to your clothes when you came out.

“Why, what’s wrong?” You examined yourself.

Wanda giggled.

“Ok, Y/N, I have a question - are you, quite possibly, a nun?”

“No.” You furrowed your brow.

“Then I repeat - what. the hell. is this?” She waved her arms around, indicating what a disaster your workout outfit was.

“Come on Nat, it’s not like it’s very different from her usual clothes.” Wanda tried to defend you.

“Yeah, exactly!” Natasha half-yelled, “Why is it all so baggy and five sizes too big? Do we need to take you shopping?”

“Oh god, please don’t,” You shriveled up internally. Anything but shopping.

“Just… why is it so baggy?” She picked at your large flannel shirt, that covered you almost to the knees.

“It’s comfy! Doesn’t obstruct any movements. What, is there some other hidden functionality gym clothes need to have that I am not aware of?”

“Did you pick up that sarcasm from Bucky?”

You only scoffed and followed them to the gym.

Steve was already running on the treadmill, and he had music playing all through the room.

Wanda and Natasha got you stretching, explaining carefully what you needed to do. Nat was supervising, making sure you wouldn’t pull anything.  

After a few sets of stretches, pull-ups and other horrible things you never in a million years wished to do, Steve joined you.

He didn’t say anything about your long, oversized shirt, and you were incredibly grateful.

“You’re doing great, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Steve. You’re always so kind.”

He smiled his perfect genuine smile - and made you believe in humanity once again. You were in a pretty good mood, endorphins from the exercise filling your body, surrounded by caring friends - when the gym door banged open and shut, and you felt your heart sink. No, no, it could be anyone, right?

But of course, of fucking course! It had to by Bucky fucking Barnes.

He passed you, nodding to Steve, and hopped on a treadmill. He wore black sweatpants and a matching black tank top, and you thought very quietly to yourself, that if he weren’t such a tremendous dickwad he would be quite delicious.

“Shall we spar?” You turned to Steve, suddenly feeling that fury again.

Natasha raised an eyebrow.

“Uuhhh, you sure?” Wanda asked. She was sitting on a mat near you.

“Yeah, I mean, Steve said we could, right?” You motioned to him and he nodded enthusiastically, “I know I’m shit, I’m not strong and I don’t have any combat training, but you know - don’t smash me into a wall and maybe I’ll learn something.”

Steve chuckled and got into a stance, starting to explain to you what to do.

As you two moved together, Steve grasping you by the waist or shoulders, shifting you around and correcting your stances, you heard the treadmill speed up and up.

Pay him no mind. You thought.
You heard Barnes’ metal arm whirring violently, as he ran and ran.

You concentrated on Steve’s movements and Natasha’s explanations and found that you quite liked it. Even if it wasn’t exactly exercise, it was still going to make you stronger and not completely helpless in the field, if you had to fight hand-to-hand. Just as Steve picked you up over his head to show you some complicated movement, Barnes walked towards the exit. He was breathing hard, sweat running down his face and right arm, his left metal one glistening at the shoulder.

PAY HIM NO MIND.

You concentrated once again on Steve’s hands and Nat’s voice and felt Steve’s fingers graze your tender ribs.You erupted in a fit of giggles, ticklish to no end. Just as you wriggled your feet and laughed, Steve, trying not to laugh himself, Barnes walked past you and sneered at the scene.

“Yeah, Y/N, laugh in the face of an attacker - that’ll get you to safety!”

You felt your heart explode with rage.

Steve carefully put you down, for you were writhing and kicking, and you ran full speed at Barnes.

“What in the hell is your fucking problem, Barnes?!”

He looked at you with an astonished smile, and then looked to your friends as if saying “Is she serious?”. At least that’s what your clouded mind read in his expression.

“It’s every day, every time you see me, almost since the day I came here - jab after jab! What is it so wrong with me that you can’t stand to walk past and be silent, or, god forbid,” you dramatically put your hands up, “be civil to me?”

His expression got stern.

“Not from the first day.”

“What?” You were breathing hard, chest rising and falling, from yelling at him and getting so worked up. Oh, he could push your buttons like nobody else.

“I said,” he seethed, “Not. From the first. Day.”

“Fine.” You finally caught your breath, “If you remember the precise day and time of your first insulting comment - let me know, I’ll send you a postcard.”

You heard Natasha giggle and wondered half-heartedly, why they didn’t interject yet.

You suddenly felt really tired.

“I just… Really wanted to get along with you.”

His expression changed from what you thought was contempt to what you thought was bafflement - the man was impossible to read.

“Hard to, though, with you being such a tremendous dick.”

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