What she says:
Lord of Shadows was a great book and you should really read it
What she means:
thiS BOOK TORE OUT MY FUCKING SOUL AND I FUCKING HATE IT BUT AT THE SAME TIME I FUCKING LOVED IT. Emma and Jules are so cute but they're also just a big hot mess of emotions and angst and tbh they're ETERNALLY SCREWED. I love Diana and Diana and Gwyn are my actual fave but don't forget about Kitty because oH MY FUCKING GOd it's canon and they are so cute. Not to mention that Mark, Cristina, and Kieran will eventually have a threesome. I foresee it in the future. ALSO DID I MENTION THAT MALEC TAKING CARE OF THEIR KIDS IS THE CUTEST? Emma and Julian had sex again (shocker) and it was rlly cute and hot n heavy. Julian Blackthorn is actually my daddy. I s2g if those two parabatai don't chill Emma's gonna get fucking preggers and then things can only get worse from there. Jaime and Diego (especially Jaime) are sneaky, slimy motherfuckers and I don't really like them. no wait scratch that. I HATE JAIME BECAUSE HE'S TAKING ADVANTAGE OF DRU BUt Diego isn't that bad anymore but still.
ALSO I MISS ROBERT LIGHTWOOD A LOT MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD BECAUSE HE WAS GOING TO HELP EMMA AND JULES AND PLUS ALEC SAW HIM DIE AND I CAN'T I JUST CANT OMFG. AND THEN LIVVY. LIVVY MY BABY OH MY GOOOOOODDDDDDD. LIVVYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. I ACTUALLY CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP THAT NIGHT WHEN I FINISHED LORD OF SHADOWS. GOD DAMN JUST SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE THE BLACKTHORNS A BREAK OKAY BYE.
Tucker hadn’t meant for this to happen. Honestly his tight ass would have paid any amount of money in the world to PREVENT this from happening.
But it had happened. He had looked over at his life long best friend sleeping against his shoulder and had been struck by the very INTIMATE urge to kiss him on his adorable little freckled nose.
This wasn’t a good thing, because said best friend’s GIRLFRIEND was sleeping against his OTHER shoulder, and every time her hair fell across her face he had to nearly bite his own fingers to stop himself from brushing her fringe aside out of her long lashed eyes.
The three of them had sat down for a movie at Sam’s place, it was one of those few calm nights where the ghosts were chilling in the Zone and NOT causing any trouble for once. Danny was absolutely delighted to spend the night with his friends doing something that DIDN’T involve ghosts.
The two lovebirds had sat beside one another on the lounge, holding hands and being, quite frankly, UNBEARABLY adorable. Tucker warned them that he’d sit on them if they didn’t stop being so mushy and things predictably escalated until they were all but a tangle of goofy limbs hanging precariously off the two seater lounge.
By the time Tucker awoke it was late morning and he was seated firmly between Sam and Danny, both having cuddled right up to him in the night, his left arm was warm under Sam’s weight, but his entire right side was borderline numb beneath Danny’s clinging arms. Boy was a leach, he had always been clingy when they shared beds as kids but back then he didn’t have a big ol’ chunk of freezing cold ectoplasm sitting pretty in his chest.
But cold be damned Tucker was squished up with BOTH his crushes practically sleeping on top of him, no force on Earth or in the Zone could possibly make him move right now. He was staying right here where he could stew in his delight and guilt for the rest of eternity.
Until Danny stirred and an arm pressed against his bladder. Heck. He needed to pee, like, really REALLY needed to pee.
Tucker stayed nestled up in the cuddle pile for as long as he could stand it before heaving a sigh so heavy even Thor couldn’t lift it. Somehow he managed to wrangle himself out without waking either of his friends and he waddled to the bathroom to relieve himself.
He could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he stood in the cold tiled room. Why. No seriously, WHY. How in the fresh hell did he manage to fall head over heels not only for ONE of his best friends, but BOTH of them, and to top it off they were both DATING each other. He literally could not have picked a worse scenario.
He could wake up one morning with 'Bad Luck Tuck’ tattooed to his forehead and he still couldn’t possibly feel more unlucky than he did in this instant.
It took all of his willpower not to always end his and Sam’s constant meat vs vegan fights by smooching her on those enticingly smooth cheekbones, and Danny was even WORSE. Every time that asshole so much as SMILED Tucker’s heart would start thumping like it was trying to put him into cardiac arrest, it was just all those freckles and that little chip in his tooth and-
Oh God stooooop. He needed to stop, he needed to stop right the heck now before he became the first human being to pass out from overexposure to adorkableness. Honestly? Fuck his friends for being so cute. This was all their fault, they could at least have considered his feelings before growing up to be so adorably kissable.
He’d tried so hard to deny it to himself, he tried SO hard to fall back out of love with them but after waking up that morning nestled between those two precious asshats he realised that he had lost this battle, and he had lost it HARD.
But, at the very least, living with a superhero as your best friend taught you some pretty useful life skills. One of those skills being how to Lie Like a Motherfucker to Everyone You Care About. So without further ado Tucker washed his hands, took a moment to stare his lovestruck gaze away in the mirror, and went back out to throw a shoe at his best friend’s head for making his arm numb through the night.
He loved his friends, he loved them with everything he had and that was why he could never tell them how he felt.
Sam was honestly pissed, no scratch that, she was more than pissed. She was FURIOUS. Her rage burned with the intensity of her mother’s artificially whitened teeth, and she couldn’t even take it out on anyone, because the focus of her ire was her own stupid stupid brain.
She had always been equally close to both of her friends, in fact she had only very rarely hung out with one or the other alone, and every time she did it felt just… so uncomfortable. It took a long time to really sort out what that feeling was, but even when she did it made no sense.
It was GUILT, she felt GUILTY. Why did she feel guilty? Danny and Tucker sometimes hung out together without her, and that was fine, she was fine with it, they’d been friends since before she came along, but why couldn’t she do the same?
Every time one of them was over her house without the other it almost felt like she was cheating on someone, and that only got MORE disturbing after she and Danny started dating. Because suddenly? It very well COULD have been cheating.
But it wasn’t. And she kept telling herself it wasn’t. She had never kissed Tucker while she and Danny were dating. They had never even held hands.
But God damn, the realisation that had just struck her was enough to make her want to slap herself for ever becoming such a cliché piece of romance movie tripe.
She had just been sitting there, sipping on her smoothie when Tucker did that Thing. She hated that Thing. That Thing where he’d say something that he knew full well was the vocal equivalent of a tumblr shitpost but he ALSO knew she’d found it fucking hilarious and while she tried her damnedest not to let a smile loose he’d send her a big shit eating grin that made her stomach roll and her tongue feel dry. Yeah, THAT Thing.
She was crushing on Tucker, she was crushing on Tucker so hard. She was head over heels for her best friend, her BOYFRIEND’S best friend. Literally EVERYTHING about this situation was the reason she hated 90% of the movies she ever saw. Love triangles were the worst plague fiction had ever suffered and suddenly she realised it had spread it’s nasty little friendship killing tendrils into her life.
She was determined, however, not to fall into the awful trap that so many would think was inevitable, and she did so by keeping her mouth firmly shut about it. She had the willpower to go face to face against ghosts twice her size, and had been through more than one bout of emotional and mental manipulation by others of the ghostly kind. She was not about to lose this battle with herself and destroy not only her relationship, but also the much more valuable friendship she held with both boys.
Sam got up and gathered everyone’s Nasty Burger food scraps to throw into the bin, taking the brief moment to let her face twist in grief over what she’d have to do. With the rubbish gone and her resolve hardened, she slathered her face in smiles and ease, walking back to the table and acting with the skill and grace of someone who had been lying to protect her best-friend-turned-boyfriend for years. Her true feelings shoved somewhere deep between a pit of self-loathing and the core of her love for the boys she cared more about than anyone on this earth, including herself.
Danny was in trouble. Danny was in so so so so SO much trouble.
Honestly? At first he hadn’t even realised he was doing it, Tucker had been his friend for such a long time, it had only seemed natural to invite him out everywhere when he and Sam made plans. But Danny was starting to realise the tension it was causing.
Neither of them said anything but sometimes Danny could pick up on… something. Of course he knew what it was, since he’d started officially dating Sam, Tucker had become somewhat of a third wheel.
Danny had never considered his friend to be out of place or unwanted, but he wasn’t sure Sam felt the same way. Maybe she wanted it just to be the two of them, maybe she just wanted some alone time with her boyfriend. She wouldn’t say anything, Danny figured she didn’t want to seem clingy or harsh but, why else would things suddenly start feeling so… weird?
He tried to make the effort to go on at least a couple dates with Sam without inviting Tucker, but honestly he just couldn’t help but think something was missing, and it really didn’t seem to be helping with Sam’s tension. She tried to hide it, she really did, and it wasn’t as though she was bad at it, Danny just knew her too well. Her and Tucker, he was hiding something too.
And Danny was starting to think he knew what it was. They had NOTICED.
He thought he was doing such a good job keeping his feelings from being too obvious, he was used to acting differently around certain people by now (having an alter ego did that to a guy), but obviously his friends knew him too well.
It might have been the touching, yep, yep it definitely could have been the touching. Danny was an extremely touchy person and his gentle caresses and nuzzles weren’t particularly picky about which friend received them. He definitely remembered a time when he straight up snuggled his face right into Tucker’s neck during what was probably an EXTREMELY un-platonic hug.
Other events on the 'Danny is a two timing doofus’ calendar included:
'Holding hands with both Sam AND Tucker while walking down the street.’
'Very delicately running his fingers over Tucker’s leg one time when he’d thrown them on Danny’s lap and honestly there was absolutely nothing heterosexual about that moment.’
'Every time Tucker laughed so hard he snorted Danny thought his heart would straight up melt into a puddle of goo, and then SAM would start doing that super adorable giggle that she was really self conscious of and her trying not to laugh made her pull this fACE and Tucker would lose his mind and start snorting all over again and-’
Danny had to stop himself right there before his heart completely dissolved because for the love of the Ancients his friends were both way too hecking precious for their own good and he loved them, he loved them sooo much. He loved them both.
And they probably knew it.
And boy that meant he was in deep trouble.
Would Sam break up with him? Would this ruin their friendship? Nobody was SAYING anything but Danny knew that stewing over something like this was just going to lead to an explosion of awkward raging teen angst worthy of a place on an MCR album.
If they weren’t gonna bring it up then Danny would just have to… get it out of the way.
Oh boy, he did not want to do this, nuh uh, no sir, he did not want to be standing in his bedroom shifting uncomfortably before his two beautiful, patient, wonderful friends. He would have loved to be sitting BETWEEN them however he deemed such a position to be quite, how the professionals would say, INA-FUCKING-PROPRIATE considering the subject at hand.
No, standing in front of them was slightly better, only slightly because Danny felt like an absolute nervous piece of half human trash. Maybe he could just jump out the window and throw himself into a dumpster, that would speed things along. He would probably end up there by the end of this conversation anyway.
He decided to just do it, stop beating around the blood blossom bush and just get it DONE. Unfortunately Danny hadn’t practiced what he was going to say beforehand, so when he finally resolved to just blurt it all out he literally did… just that.
“I’VE GOTTA HUGE CRUSH ON TUCKER AND I DUNNO WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT.”
By the time his brain caught up to his words his dumpster diving plan was sounding significantly more appealing. There was probably some kind of banana skin pun he could have used there but he was far too stressed to figure it out.
Tucker didn’t respond, he appeared to be trying to bury his face into his hat. A kind of wheezing noise was coming out of him, Danny couldn’t tell if it was a good sound or a bad sound. Sam let out a long breath that whistled between her lip piercings.
“Holy shit me too.”
The Tucker sound continued, raising to a nearly imperceptible level. Danny was just beginning to think it might have been a Bad sound when Tucker pulled his face back into the world, his glasses were all fogged up but he stopped making the noise.
Sam and Danny both waited for him to say actual words but Tucker.exe seemed to have stopped working. Once he’d gained his breath he was back to wheezing into his hat. Sam hesitantly put a hand on his back.
“Are you actually okay or are you like, dying?”
Muffled words were said into the hat, none of which could be repeated around children. Danny was juuuust about to start attempting to will himself into spontaneous combustion when he recognised a very distinct sound emanating from the hat.
Snorting, Tucker was snorting like a god damn pig. Danny’s shaky legs gave out below him and he sat on the floor, shoving his face into the carpet as he laughed along with his best friend. He didn’t know what was happening right now, but he was Having Emotions and the floor just seemed like the right place for that.
Also he needed to look somewhere that wasn’t Sam. She was trying not to laugh and she was pulling That Face and Danny just couldn’t handle it right now and really the floor was great why didn’t he spend more time here.
Tucker felt as though he was finally ready to leave the comforting world of Hat Land and face the unbeLIEVABLE realisation that all of his dreams had just come true in a ten second span of time, he felt like he had just been blessed by the gods, his skin was clear, his crops were flourishing and world peace had been established. Today was a good day to start ugly sobbing in front of the two most important people in his life.
“I love both you guys too!!” Tucker half laughed, half cried, and then just straight up cried, “I’ve wa-wanted to smooch you both sooo bad for like, MONTHS!”
The moment his snorting turned to sobbing he was immediately accosted by a pair of equally snotty emotional wrecks. Danny, still on the floor, had plopped his head on Tucker’s lap and just started balling his eyes out, like he was really going for gold in 'Most Tears Shed on One Lap’. Sam, on the other hand, had commandeered Tucker’s upper half for a simple bone breaking, teary hug.
The next few hours were just chock full of used tissues, an inappropriate amount of snacks and some deep, heartfelt discussions about what the fuck their relationship was gonna be.
Honestly they were just happy to be so open and at ease with one another again, the sun poured into Danny’s bedroom window as the three of them dozed in the warm pool of light. Laying across one another, their imagined boundaries finally broken, they could finally talk shit about each other for making them feel so mushy.
Paulina said out loud at the scene before her. Those three dorks were sitting together at their usual lunch table, all bunched up ridiculously close together and if she wasn’t mistaken she had just seen Danny turn around and KISS TUCKER ON THE MOUTH while Sam, his GIRLFRIEND, just watched?!
“Oh yes.” Star deadpanned, not seeming too fazed by the weirdness happening before her.
“I didn’t think those three could get any more confusing, but I have no idea what’s happening over there right now.” Paulina sat back in her chair, arms crossed.
“Really?” Star raised an eyebrow. “You seriously didn’t see this coming? Those three,” she pointed with a delicately painted pink nail, “have been perfect polygamy material for like, three years.”
“Perfect what material?” Paulina’s face was all scrunched up in confusion, her little nose wrinkled up and her lips pursed in just the cutest little pout-
can you tell me about the bts ships? not just otp's, brotps too!
YESSsssSSS I CAN TALK ABOUT BTS SHIPS ALL DAY FAM
but ill only talk about the ones im familiar with:
1. YOONMIN (yoongi/jimin):
ok holy shit where the FUCK do i start with yoonmin. they’ve been my bts otp since day 1 so i have a LOT TO FUCKING SAY LOL
first off, refer to this post as to why i started shipping them, they have a LOT of cute fucking moments predebut and its been a painfully beautiful journey ever since 2013
before we jump in we need to talk about how YOONGI WROTE A SONG FOR JIMIN BECAUSE HE ADMIRES HOW HARDWORKING JIMIN IS. IF THAT AINT REAL THEN GET TF OUT OF MY FACE LMAo like where dat song @ tho yoongs
ok i need to chill, but theres more:
like jimin being yoongi’s #1 cheerleader at ISAC lmao look at him cheer his name in front of all the fans and other idols with ZERO shame, and then there’s yoongi pretending like he doesnt hear him #typical
^ TYPICAL YOONGI. this ship is very love-hate. mostly false pretense of hate on yoongi’s end and WAAAY TOO MUCH SHAMELESS LOVIN on jimin’s end BUT we all know yoongi’s putting up a front. like there’s actually so many subtle moments where he reveals how much he cares for jimin and they kill me every time, like this one:
but then right back to pretending like he dont give a fuck lmfao:
ALSO THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST LEGENDARY YOONMIN MOMENTS, THE “YOU KNOW. I KNOW.” MOMENT (explanation here) :
this whole v app broadcast was a yoonmin fest and it was a blessing. jimin got him a sweater for yoongis birthday and they basically confessed on live broadcast that they’re soulmates. ugh im so sensitive about this moment
yoonmin are polar opposites and that heart-pulling cold/warm dynamic they have is super shippable, thus the reason why they’re one of the most popular ships in this fandom
yoongi puts on a cold exterior and doesn’t really show his emotions. jimin on the other hand is super openly loving towards others, especially yoongi, and its really fucking cute how yoongi reciprocates sometimes
you and james had a very eventful sex life. ever since you had introduced him back to the bedroom, he had picked up on the modern style of making love like a pro. you had shared in a few kinks, dirty talk, light name calling, even did role playing once. but one thing that you were a bit embarrassed to ask him about was thigh riding. you had done it once before with an ex-boyfriend, and boy, did you enjoy it. every time you got yourself off when bucky was on mission, you envisioned yourself grinding your swollen clit on one his sinfully thick thighs, his large hands on your waist, sweet encouragements spilling from his lips. it got you hotter like nothing else, and god… you wanted to ride one of bucky’s thighs so badly.
so, one day, you mustered up the courage and brought it up. bucky could tell you were a bit nervous about something, with the way you were looking down at your lap and wringing your fingers. you were only ever this timid when you really wanted something, and bucky found it absolutely adorable. you had invited him into the world of modern love making like a pro, but he still viewed you as being a sweet, innocent thing. so, when your request came out as barely a whisper, james made you repeat it just for the sake of hearing it again. “c-can i… ride your t-thigh?”. he bit his bottom lip as your big eyes darted up to lock with his, and god, if you hadn’t melted with the fire deep in bucky’s cerulean eyes…
bucky had you go change into a pastel pink, lacy number that he had adored since he saw you in it for the first time:
and as you sat down on his lap, your shaky legs straddling his right thigh, fingers picking at your soft lips, your eyes avoiding contact with his, he grabbed both of your hands forcefully, pulling them down so that he held them in front of your torso and in your lap, then used his left, metallic appendage to lift your chin up so that your eyes looked into his darkened ones. he spoke lowly and slowly, “don’t be afraid, doll face. you’re going to grind those little hips on my thigh, and you’re gonna cum, hard. you understand?” you moaned and nodded your head.
and so, the game began.
you began to move your hips at a steady pace, sighing lightly at the pressure that you felt in your core. as your hips went faster, your moans grew louder. james looked at you, pupils blown, jaw slack. had he ever seen anything prettier? he placed his hands on your hips gently and helped you gain rhythm and tempo, pushing you down hard enough on his muscular thigh that you cried out. then, the worse thing happened: he began to talk to you. little chants of “good girl” and “you look so pretty, baby” turned into “look at your sweet little face, that look of innocence could drive anyone mad” , “you grind your clit so well on my thigh, love. does it feel good?”, and “god, i just wanna eat you up… you’re so sweet, baby, you’re losing yourself…”.
all of those things were true, of course. he was enjoying this just as much as you were. watching your brows furrow in pleasure, cute little whimpers and gasp tumbling from your lips, your cheeks blushing crimson every time he opened his mouth.
and when you came, he nearly did too. this became a regular, very mutually beneficial, thing between the two of you.
Keith and Lance are arguing after their dinner date about who has to drive home from the restaurant. Lance looks away for a minute. “Babe, look.” Keith says. Lance turns around to see Keith down a bottle of wine that was on the table.
While the kids are out, they take the opportunity to play their ultimate playlist on one of their phones and dance like embarrassing grandpas in their living room until one of them starts laughing.
They give each other back rubs after a long day.
They would make awesome dads (with little to none questionable irresponsibilities lol).
Lance: You gave our hyper 5 year old Sprite?!
Keith: There’s no caffeine in it!
Disneyland with Keith, Lance, and their kids.
Can you imagine….how cute they be….the whole family….riding in the spinning teacups.
Cheesy disney family photos where the whole family is wearing mickey ears and they’re posing with a mascot.
Their kids are wearing costumes of their favorite disney character.
The first time they had a baby, they couldn’t stop feeling anxious about leaving them for a minute. They were clingy.
Lance: Maybe I should check up on them one more time…
Allura: Lance, we just walked out the door.
Keith: Oh my god, I forgot to give Lance’s mom (baby)’s favorite toy.
Hunk: Keith, we’re only gonna be gone for half an hour.
Their babies would calm down easily with their singing. Sometimes they’ll sing in English, sometimes in Spanish, sometimes in Korean.
They just…become so soft when they’re around their babies.
Lance tickling his baby’s tummy with his nose.
Keith playing peek-a-boo.
That one airplane game where they lie on their backs, hold their baby’s hands, and lift them up with their legs.
Keith passed out with their baby also passed out on his chest, Lance taking photos.
When they have little arguments and Keith is being difficult or stubborn, like refusing to go take a shower or something, Lance just picks him up. Just lifts him up, grabs him by the waist, drapes him vertically over his shoulder, like a sack, like a parent taking their child to their time out spot. The first time Lance did this, Keith was so pleasantly impressed with his strength that he forgot he was upset. After many times however, Keith just has a resigned annoyed face.
Keith: Stop manhandling me.
Lance: Hah! You love it, don’t lie.
He does. He loves it a lot.
Consider, Keith pinching his butt when he carries him like that again.
You know those parents who give their new born baby a new born pet? Yeah, that’s them.
Lance, holding a camcorder, crying: Keith, I can’t take this, our baby is snuggling the puppy, I’m really gonna die.
Keith: Don’t you dare fucking die, you’re going to capture every second of this cute moment, so help me god.
I think these two would be sentimental enough to capture one another doing mundane things, one second of everyday, every year into a little video project, which shows what loving saps they are for the other.
Moments like: Keith looking at the sunset out the balcony. Keith sleeping in bed, the light hitting his face. Keith with a cup of coffee in his hands, laughing. Keith reading and petting a cat. Keith walking and carrying shopping bags. Keith putting seat belts on his kids. Keith chasing his kids in the backyard.
Moments like: Lance sitting on a surfboard, laughing. Lance building sandcastles with his kids. Lance baking. Lance singing in the shower. Lance walking the dog. Lance wiping his kid’s nose. Lance washing the dishes.
Their kids have nightmares sometimes so Lance and Keith let them sleep on their bed, no matter how old they are.
On Christmas mornings, their kids would jump on their bed to wake them up. They’re probably bruised.
They do the whole leaving milk and cookies for Santa (which Lance and Keith share together).
Their kid: Why are there two empty glasses here?
Lance: Uhh….Santa was probably really thirsty.
Their kids are tearing apart the gift wrapping like animals, but Keith and Lance are drinking coffee together and watching them fondly.
Game night is intense in this family, you got the most competitive couple and the kids who were raised by these two.
Wii sports resort competitions. They probably hurt the other on accident with a Wii remote once or twice.
Lance and Keith always record their kids’ performing recitals.
Lance: You’re doing amazing sweetie!
They’re actually pretty chill in PTA meetings (or at least, Lance is), but if you criticize their kids, they’re definitely going to be savage lol.
Keith: The only shit I smell is the platter that looks like an animal died in it, that you call casserole, Sandra.
• i feel like you guys wouldn’t have planned the pregnancy at all
• but you guys were stable enough and had a steady income, so it was all okay
• Connor had been going to therapy regularly and has been taking his anti depressants !! yay!!
• but there were still a few struggles
• you often had to remind Connor that he was going to be a great dad
• after Connor finally shook away his insecurities, he was confident
• he wanted to be the dad that he needed growing up (no shade Larry)
• one day you guys would be cuddling on the couch and he would gasp
• you would be like ??what??
• and he would pull your shirt up because he felt your little belly for the first time
• tears would well in his eyes because it was finally so real to him
• Connor was transforming in front of your eyes
• he was so responsible and so timid
• he would talk to your belly when he thought you were sleeping
• “hey there, little one. daddy loves you. i always will, okay? you mean the world to me”
• when you finally got to be like 7 months pregnant you were the size of a planet
• and Connor would fetch anything for you
• when it was finally pushing time, Connor insisted on being in the room with you, holding your hand
• he would be so supportive, kissing your forehead and whispering reassuring words
• when the lil sucker popped out of your hoohah he would start bawling his eyes out
• the doctor would announce it was a girl and Connor just starts ScReAmInG doing a FUKING victory lap around the room
• he would do the skin-to-skin thing where he holds the baby underneath his shirt while coddling her
• you would be asleep and Connor would stay up all night, talking to the baby in a hush tone.
• he felt so complete
• you and Evan tried for kids after getting married and finally opening up your own bakery!!
• you guys did the cute little grandma announcement to Heidi and it went viral online
• it would be one of those scrabble games and she’s spelling out the word “grandma” and she’s like “??? OH MY GOD”
• she would start bawling her eyes out hugging the two of you
• this was so important to Evan because he never had a father figure growing up
• he wanted to be the best dad possible!!
• he took a lot of advice from Jared because Jared was the coolest dad ever
• you guys would do those time lapses of your tummy
• Evan would probably rest his head on your belly when he slept on the couch
• when the baby grew feet and started kicking, Evan would kiss your stomach to get the baby to kick there
• you two would do it for hours and just giggle
• you guys would have the gender-reveal baked into a cake by one of the people who worked in your bakery!!
• so at the baby shower you guys cut the cake and it was blue inside
• EvAn WoUlD bE a MeSs
• he would be crying, sobbing, hugging you, and laughing
• Heidi bought you guys a little blue polo for your little guy
• so the big day finally comes and your assigned to a C-Section
• while you’re waiting for the doctor to wheel you in, Evan is just laying with you on the hospital bed
• you guys are grinning and talking about how exciting everything is
• Evan goes into the operating room and holds your hand the whole time
• doctor: “okay, the procedure is now taking place, Mr.Hansen, please don’t look over the curtain”
• Evan fucking looked
• and passed out at the sight of the baby being pulled out through ur organs like wtf
• but he would be out for long
• you guys would be back in your room and he would open his eyes to see you holding a little baby in a blue blanket
• Evan would wander over and hold him and start smiling ear to ear
• Evan was the best dad ever
• I feel like something would happen where the doctor told you that you were incapable of having kids
• and you guys were so upset by it, you stopped trying for a year
• seeing all of your friends have children was so upsetting
• but one day you woke up, expecting your period but it wasn’t there ??
• and it’s been like three days since you were supposed to start??
• then you thought back to 3 weeks ago when you and Jared had the FRICK frack
• you didn’t want to hype yourself up buT YOU WERE FUKIN PUMPED
• you ran to the store and bought 18 pregnancy tests
• you knew that this could just be your period being late, but something felt different this time
• AND HOLY MOTHER OF GAWD YOU WERE PREGNANT!!!
• you couldn’t WAIT to tell Jared
• so you planned it all out
• you guys’ anniversary was coming up and you had an idea
• so flash forward to your anniversary, you guys went out for dinner and came home to watch a movie and exchange gifts
• Jared had bought you a really nice necklace and a new book that you had wanted to read for a while
• you passed Jared a collection of mugs, tshirt s, and aprons that all read “World’s Best Dad”
• he looked at them hella confused bUt ThEn It SaNk In
• AND HE WOULD START SOBBING AND HUGGING YOU SO TIGHT
• IT WAS A MIRACLE DAMMIT
• so throughout your pregnancy Jared was so giddy and you guys called your parents and they screamed with you
• then you guys went in for an ultrasound to see the gender and just for a checkup
• and the doctor was like “wanna know the genders?”
• and you and jared looked at each other and were like “genders??”
• and the doctor looked at you like you were dumb
• “yeah, there’s two babies in there”
• “NO FUCKING WAY”
• “Jared, be quiet this is a hospital!!”
• “THIS IS AMAZING”
• your delivery went smoothly (as smooth as it can … two babies came out like the shit is painful yikes)
• and Jared would hold both of them at once, giving you a heart attack
• when the babies were three months old, they are super giggly and babble all the time
• sometimes you would just walk in to see the babies laying on jared, and he would pretend to listen to them speak
• “uh huh. Ok. Is that so?”
• what a dork
Lance and Keith meeting Nico and Percy and Lance is super attracted to Nico and he doesn’t know why so he rants to the rest of the paladins about how cute Nico is and Keith is salty and talks to himself like “gOd lance is so annoying what is even cute about nico” while looking at himself in the mirror and hes clueless and doesnt see the similarities and one time when Lance was just super annoying Keith just yells out “WHATEVER MAN PERCY IS WAY HOTTER” and Lance gets jealous and Keith gets mad and the rest of the gang just watches those two idiots in silence. (pidge is eating popcorn)
• He was at practice when it happened
• You were at home, cleaning up the department
• And there was a can of beer you didn’t actually saw when you took a step
• You fell, breaking your ankle and hitting in your head hard
• Fortunately you had you cellphone close to you, so you could call emergency
• And when he got the call
• HE WAS FREAKING SCARED
• The nurse barely said “Are you familiar of MC? Okay, she is in the hospital right now because…”
• And he was already on his way
• His director yelled at him, but he just ignored him and went to the hospital
• And when he saw you on that hospital bed
• Something inside him broke
• He shouldn’t have left you alone, he should have been there to protect you
• “It was an accident Zenny, no need to worries~”
• God, why were you so cute?
• “I’ll take care of you MC, I’ll be the most handsome nurse you’ve ever seen”
• He wished he could just give you his ability to heal fast
• But he knew it wasn’t possible
• He hated beer cans from now on
• You were both at college
• A college couple equal to a broke couple
• So when he tried to think of a date idea
• He just thought about going for a bike ride in the park
• It was perfect
• So you both rented two bikes
• Of course you didn’t notice that one of those bikes was out of order
• You took that bike
• And when you both started the ride
• The front wheel of the bike stopped working
• You falled hard to the ground and hurt your arm in the process
• “MC!? ARE YOU OKAY!?”
• He was panicking, so he just called emergency when you didn’t answer
• It wasn’t such a serious wound fortunately
• Still, he was scared of something happen to you
• “We are not going to rent another bike EVER”
• “Baby, I’m fine”
• He was not taking any risks tho
• When you told her that you wanted to learn judo, she just thought you were going to take some classes
• But you wanted her to be her teacher?
• Hell no
• “Pls Jaehee~”
• She couldn’t say no to those eyes
• So she tried
• And it failed
• When she did her first move and put you to the ground with more strength that she ment
• She heard something crash
• And your hurting face told her that she did wrong
• “That was… Awesome Jaehee”
• “Omg MC, are you okay?”
• “I’m fine… I think”
• So she took you to the emergency room
• And you actually had a broken rib
• She felt so bad and guilty about it
• I mean, she was supposed to teach you, but instead he hurt you in the process
• “I’m so sorry MC, I shouldn’t have done such a aggressive move on you”
• “It’s okay sweetie, I’m fine… Now I feel like I wanna learn jujitsu instead”
• “MC, no”
• She probably wouldn’t let you learn any other dangerous sport
• It was so hard to get hurt with this man
• I mean, you had security guards around you 24/7
• But it happened when you were in the bathroom
• You just took a shower and you were drying your hair
• And you were looking for the brush
• You didn’t know where was it
• And when you were about to ask someone
• You tripped and fell
• You hit your head hard on the ground
• Your head was bleeding a lot
• The guards heard your screaming and went to help you
• Thank god you were dressed already
• So when they notified Jumin about your accident
• He traveled from Dubai to Korea immediately
• “How are you? How are you feeling? How did this happen? Who was responsible?”
• Tons of questions were made
• You just had a head contusion so everything was okay
• “I’m fine Jumin”
• He didn’t leave your side until you were discharged
• He was working on a new project for a new version of the robot cat
• There were tons of pieces you didn’t recognize everywhere
• He was just so focused that he didn’t notice you started playing with some of the pieces
• But some pieces were so sharp
• So you cut your hand by accident
• You complaint out loud of the pain
• And he turned to see you
• There was a lot of blood
• A LOT
• “What the…”
• You just looked at him like ‘whats up?’
• And he just carried you and took you with the first person that it come to his mind
• Ms. Vanderwood was so shocked when he got in the room with you in his arms and your hole hand in blood
• “She needs a doctor!!” he screamed
• “I just cut my hand… I need a band-aid…”
• Ms. Vanderwood just end up hitting him in the head and screaming that he was done with his shit
• He was just worried about you…
Summary: Phil and dan run into each other at the grocery store and phil recognizes dan as his favorite pornstar via his ass
Word Count: 1.5k+
Warnings: none that I can thinking of? Cursing?? As per usual. A small moment where phil thinks dan wants to stop?
Ass ID :
“Please, god please Phil, yes, you fuck me so good! Hmph, god love your cock, so good to me.”
4 hours earlier ;
“Cereal, milk, brea- oomph!” I stumble back and quickly grab the closest thing to me which happens to be a boy about my age, steadying us both. He looks familiar and I cock my head to the side, not so subtly checking him out, where do I know him from?
“I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking at where I was going.” He smiles, deep dimples digging into his cheeks and god, I know those dimples. Fuck, he’s so cute.
Without thinking, I stick my hand out, “Phil, sorry for running into you.” I feel my face heat up a little as he puts his hand in mine.
“Dan.” He turns around, spotting a loaf of bread on the floor behind him and bending down to grab it, and that’s when it clicks. If you had asked me two weeks ago, that’s I’d be recognizing my favorite porn star from his ass, I would have laughed in your face. But here I am, in the grocery store next to the star of all my wank fantasies, DanIsNotATop. Jesus Christ, only I could end up in this situation.
He straightens up and turns to me with a smirk, “Like what you see?”
I blush furiously, “I’m so sorry, this isn’t at all what I’m like, uh, I- nevermind, I’ll just be going now.” I quickly turn around and head in the opposite direction of the bread, great.
“Hey! Wait up!” I curse my luck as Dan catches up to walk next to me.
“Excuse me if this is forward, but you’re hot and I’m free all day.” I gaped at him, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.
The dimpled boy blushes, “Yeah, that was probably weird, I mean, we’re in the middle of a grocery store for god’s sake. Sorry, I’m a little too forward for my own good sometimes.” I’m so shellshocked that it seems my brain and mouth have stopped communicating and the words fall out of my mouth before I can think it through.
“Not surprising with your profession, I’m sure you gain a lot of confidence for that kind of stuff, what with everyone wanting to fuck you all the time.” My eyes almost pop out of their sockets, and I’m internally wishing for god to come and take me, for the ground to swallow me up, maybe even aliens abducting me would suffice. Of all the reactions, I do not expect Dan to start hysterically laughing.
“Oh my god! Well yeah I guess you’re right, aren’t you? So you watch me?” I nod dumbly, too surprised to even form words, probably a good thing at this point.
“Just have one question…when you say ‘everyone’ wants to fuck me, does that include you?” He’s looking up at me through thick, dark eyelashes and I’m swallowing before speaking up,
“Well, I mean, yes? Who wouldn’t wanna fuck you?” He giggles and I’m instantly endeared,
“There are a few people I can only hope don’t want to have sex with me, for example, my grandma.”
“Oh my god, Dan! That’s disgusting! Why is that the first example you think of?!” I let out a roaring laugh, my tongue poking out between my teeth and my hand coming up to cover my mouth.
When our laughter dies down he takes a step closer, getting into my personal space and whispering in my ear, “Offer still stands, if you aren’t secretly my grandma.”
I hum, “I guess I’ll just spend my night alone baking cookies then, too bad, I’d really thought this disguise would get me through.”
We giggle and I place my hand on his hip, traveling slowly to his back pocket and drawing out his phone before typing my number in, “Text me your number.” He does and I send him my address.
Leaning in till my lips brush against his ear as I begin to talk, breath hot and heavy, “7pm, don’t be late, princess.” I slip my tongue out to lick at the shell of his ear, watching goosebumps arise and feeling him shiver under my hands. I pull back, wink, and turn and walk towards the bread.
Current time ;
So that’s how I ended up in bed with the idol of my sexual delusions, being straddled by thick thighs, cock absolutely throbbing in my boxers. We had both already stripped to nothing but our boxers, or well, panties for dan. “Good god, Dan, you’re so hot for me, babe, gonna let me have you, yeah?” He nods eagerly into our kisss.
“Please, phil, touch me I want you to stretch me, please.”
“Mm, yes baby ‘course, c’mon let’s get you you out of those panties.” I flip us over, pulling off the black lace in one quick motion as dan lifts his hips up, before reaching for the lube lying next to me and popping the cap. Squirting a copious amount onto my fingers and warming it up between them, I kiss dan passionately distracting him from my hand wandering to his sex. I swirl my index finger around his rim before pushing in slowly, letting him adjust before thrusting it into him.
After a bit of stretching, I begin to search for his prostate, crooking my fingers at a different angle at every entrance to him, until I found it, well at least I think I do, since Dan lets out a series of pornstar moans (funnily enough) and pushed his ass back onto my fingers.
“Take me, I’m ready I promise, I swear it phil lease take me I’m begging you please!” Who could deny that? Certainly not me.
“I got you, baby, I’m gonna take real good care of you, don’t you worry.” I shed my briefs, grabbing the condom package next to me and ripping it open clumsily, about to roll it onto myself when dan’s hand comes up to catch my wrist, effectively halting my movements.
I look up, my eyebrows scrunching together. Did he want to stop? Before I can ask he shyly looks up at me, “Wanna do it.” I nod and hand over the condom, moving my hips closer to him so he can grasp my thickness, slowly pumping me before rolling the condom onto my shaft, grabbing the lube bottle, slathering it onto my length, and guiding my to his entrance. I push into the confining heat of him, groaning at the right grip, hovering over him, and breathing hot shallow breaths onto his sweat glistening neck.
“So good for me Dan, taking me so well, huh? Look at you, so nice. Such a pretty boy you are, princess.” A loud whimper escapes him, before he’s grinding back onto my cock.
“I’m good, I’m so good, you can move, move please please,” he rambles into my ear, pushing his onto into my hips, making my breathing stutter in pleasure. I pull out till only my cock head is inside him, before for slowly pushing back inside, watching his hole stretch so filthily around my thick rod, like I’ve daydreamed oh so many times before.
“So good on my cock, god, you’re so tight around me, fuck, dan shit,” I pull out, only to slam in a again and again, setting a hard and fast pace and angling my hips to slam into his prostate repeatedly, his legs wrapped tightly around my waist, face in the crook of my neck, fingernails absolutely tearing up my back, and groans falling shamelessly from both our mouths.
“Please, god please Phil, yes, you fuck me so good! Hmph, god love your cock, so good to me.” I can feel him tightening around my shaft, can physically feel him approaching orgasm, pushing me along as well. “C-close, phil, gonna cu-cum.”
I reach between us to fist his swollen cock, alerting him to my similar state, I’m losing pattern, heat pooling in my abdomen, before I feel Dan clench around me so fucking tight, my hips stutter and I can hear dan yelling his release as I spill into the condom, thrusting shallowly to ride out our orgasms.
“So fucking good, better than I ever imagined.” Dan giggles breathlessly, swatting my slick chest playfully as I gently pull out of him, careful not to hurt him, tie off the condom, tossing it into the bin, and falling onto my back beside dan. Our breathing synchronizes, sweat and cum drying uncomfortably on our naked bodies, and yet dan rolling over onto my chest, curling into my side, his arm draped around my midsection.
“This ok? I don’t usually get to like, uhm, cuddle? After sex I mean, so yeah sorry if this is weird, yeah.” I wrap my arm around him, holding him to my side when I feel him start to extract himself out of embarrassment.
“Shh, gonna sleep, yeah? S’nice. You’re warm.” And something feels right, as dan shifts to get more comfortable and then lays his head on my chest, his hair tickling my chin, legs tangled with my own. Something feels right, and I have a little feeling this won’t be the last time I find myself with an armful of tan skin and warm brown eyes.
I love this photo so much because
a) Look at that smiley Stefán. It looks like he just had a cute lil giggle about something. He is a such a pretty, handsome boy and I love him
B) Half into Robbie! You can see where Stefán ends and Robbie begins (bc I for one have a hard time seeing the man while he’s in character–such good acting and makeup/costume work)
3. Black V-neck, ahh so hot
IV. Look at all of those pink wigs! Holy shit that’s a lot of pink wigs!
Fimm) There are not one, but TWO professional looking photos of Shirtless Magnús in the God damn dressing room there, like ok Maggi can you chill
.. my God, if perfection was a human he would be Kim Namjoon.
.. Clumsy perfection.
.. Now that phrase brings a lot of bitter memories.
.. like the time he spilled hot water down your dress when he was attempting a seductive lip bite, pushing his hair back.
.. at some point you just stopped questioning how he can be so jinxed and just accepted it
.. Because if you get mad everytime he crushes you in bed this relationship would have ended in a couple of weeks.
.. sure you love him and all, but dating him is like a death hazard waiting to happen.
.. I am not being cruel, he is my bias afterall but remember when he almost burned suga turning on the stove? And when he broke his glasses just by touching them? I speak based on facts.
.. another facts is that his voice is sexy as hell fight me to eternity on this.
.. I mean young forever always makes me have doubts over the reason I am still breathing.
.. just imagine that voice, but deeper, waking you up in the morning, his fingers dancing on your bare skin, his hot breath tickling your neck, this is so unfair.
.. Lord give me strength to keep writing this.
.. all jokes aside, when he pushes you against the wall and bites your neck to mark his property at the least expected places it gives you a thrill no one can compete with.
.. and he knows that damn well that’s why he flashes you that evil grin.
.. you get to hear him rap all day and that by itself is a blessing
.. like you are laying on the bed, nothing much going on and he is working on this heated verse so you just get up and sit on his lap until he is done, this is his favourite thing ever.
.. and just because he doesn’t pick up his phone when he is at the studio doesn’t mean he isn’t thinking about you because he keeps getting distracted by your face waiting for him at home.
.. “Baby girl, my lips are swollen from all the rapping…”
.. sure he can be a sexy god when he wants but if he just wasn’t feeling it, you’re into bear hugs, heart melting cuddles, and lots and lots of general cuteness.
.. it’s all unintentional but it really shocks you like how can this man filled with sexual desire and inability to walk in straight line be so adorable.
.. and don’t get me started on those deep conversations. Like you are cooking dinner or just laying in bed and you two fall even deeper in love talking about hidden meanings in life.
.. on camera he is this strong, in control man but in reality, those deep thoughts, when said out loud, prove that he is just another human with insecurities.
.. and he loves you beyond description because you make him a stronger more confident man.
.. so he puts together a mixtape he spent all his blood sweat and tears on just for you.
.. you are his spoiled baby, it’ll reach a point you can tell gucci from YSL just by glancing at the shopping bag.
.. let me just put this out, he is really jealous. There is no way around this, no other man is supposed to come anywhere near you and if anyone dared to cross the boundaries, hell shall open up.
.. one day he will call you asking for help because he doesn’t know what to wear and you two are facetiming, picking outfits together.
.. “I’ll put a ring around that finger, just you wait”
.. you’re dates are always varying, somedays he is taking you out on the fanciest date in Paris, the others he is laying on the couch at the dorm, with your head over his chest, eating an entire bucket of chicken.
.. Kim Namjoon’s entire existence is 19+ i mean if he is staring at you from across the room, his eyes darkened with lust you’re up for a long long night.
.. but he isn’t all about that. You are his spacial one. He may have trouble showing it as the other members but you mean the entire world to him.
.. The Rap Monster, is a true, fine gentleman who only has eyes for his princess.
I would like to say a word about the new season of Rtte.
Usually, I don’t tell what I feel on Tumblr but this is getting on my nerves since the release.
I know I will not have many friends after but I don’t care, I’m not affect by insults on the web.
Anyway, here something I wanted to talk about first:
After the release of the first three season, all we were able to say was “more hiccstrid”, “more more more”.
This season we got a lot of Hiccstrid, but like a looooooot more of Hiccstrid.
And a few months ago, the producers said that they signed for two more seasons of Rtte.
Yesterday, I went on tumblr and I saw posts about complain.
The people who are complaining, are complaining about they didn’t like the Hiccstrid, the kisses, the story, the characters and else.
They said that the producers could do better for Hiccup and Astrid and I don’t know remember what else but ANYWAY, they don’t like how the show is going.
Guys, if you don’t like it then stop watching it.
And seriously, they gave us all we wanted to have.
I mean come on, for two months, we were getting the producers on their nerves because some fans wouldn’t stop asking them why they are not posting the date of the release and now we told them that they made a bad job?!
Hey, they are doing everything they can for US.
The show is a wonderful sigh for our eyes, animation like story.
Our questions are getting answered, we getting what we hope for and each seasons is better than the previous.
These guys deserves some respect, they are the creators of the story of race to the Edge so as a fan, we must agree with what they decide to put in the show, like it or not.
You can not like it, it’s your choice, everybody have a choice.
But please, don’t say they could do better because they already trying to.
That was just something I needed to clear but now my thoughts on the new season:
As I said, we got a lot of Hiccstrid but that’s only in the three last episode. The others ones were incredible. Twintuition makes me laugh until my ribs hurts, Midnight Scrum was so intense with all these guys hunting Hiccup, Not Lout was so cool because we saw Snotlout having nightmares about getting bullied and I personally recognize myself in him.
Okay so I will finish on Hiccstrid.
We got three kiss with a really passionate one for the first that make their relationship official.
We saw the worry, the compassion, the dragon rider, the support in Astrid that we saw in httyd2 so that’s a proof that the show is following the movies.
She is always the one getting hurt, that’s true but I think that’s normal and understandable cause she’s the one with Hiccup that have a true sense of leadership and she is a really stubborn girl and independent woman so she wants to do stuff for proving herself and to the others she is worth it like in Blindsided and in Astrid’s team.
And that’s why she is my favorite character.
For the next seasons, we are going to see them grew as a couple and that’s something I and the fans hoped so much to see cause we are getting the close Hiccstrid we have in the sequel movie.
Toothless was so terribly cute and OH MY THOR, he acts EXACTLY the same as my cat (I should put a video for comparing those two).
I love the way he putted his tail around Hiccup and Astrid when she laying on the floor in Blindsided, a true little family. I can only hope to see more moments with only him and Hiccup, but I’m not worry, we have to see how Hiccup came up with the “automatic” tail.
Stormfly was also super cute and the way she protected Astrid is why I love the most, a true complicity, gods so amazing.
The Triple Strike, one of my favorite dragon ever, we could saw his moves and so honking cool!!
And for ending this post, Heather and Dagur:
I love Heather, she is so cool and the best friend I dream to have.
I love relationship between siblings so when she finally bonded with Dagur, it made my heart race and I was so happy.
The way they fighting with the riders is so awesome, I love that!!
So that’s it. Sorry if it’s a little messed up for an opinion post but I really wanted to explain what I felt about all I see on Tumblr and the show, and mainly make my self clear.
Race to the Edge or the movies, it’s Httyd in general (and I will not talk about how they changed and saved my life for the good cause it’s personal).
I will never thank Dreamworks enough for creating this story with Cressida.
It will always gonna take an important place in my heart (that’s why I’m getting tattooed the Night Fury logo soon) and whatever they will do for Dragons, I will always respect it, be a supportive fan, and be there for it.
I told myself I would stop doodling these two on my breaks.
I have no self-restraint.
So here’s another small headcanon for you: I imagine that Cole is actually the one who has the hair skills and Mouse usually gives no cares about how messy his own hair is. But because Cole’s always getting dirty, all those showers make his hair reeeaaaally soft and Mouse likes to braid it for him~ @hootsweets
Again, would have sent this privately over Hexcomic.com but welp… I’m technologically challenged and still can’t figure it out. Yay~