god those are the best lines ever

I Think I Love Her (plus size reader x Peter Parker)

The reader stand up for a girl who is getting bullied. Peter realizes it’s finally his time to confess his feeling to the reader.

Notes; I know Liz isn’t actually like this but it just worked for the story. Also gif isn’t mine credits to owner. Hope you enjoy. 

Originally posted by tomshollandss

Y/n’s Pov

I had been standing by my locker with my friend Ned Leeds and my friend and kind of crush Peter Parker. I always liked Peter from when we first met and he was super sweet to me. He always tried to fight out the people who would comment about my size, but then slowly realized I could handle my self.

We were talking about our next Spanish quiz when I noticed Liz Allan, my least favorite person, walk up to some girl that was standing a few lockers behind us. My mind left the conversation with my friends as I started to listen in on what Liz was saying.

“You seriously need to start losing some weight if you want to wear clothes like these.” I turned my head around to look at the poor girl Liz was talking to. I watched as the girl turned red from embarrassment.

“Y/n? Y/n?” Peter tried to get my attention.


“We just asked you if you wanted to go to Peter’s tonight to finish the lego death star.”

“Oh yea, sure whatever.” I continued to listen to Liz talking to the girl.

“You know what would help? Trying to make your self throw up.” I heard enough and started to walk over there, but Peter grabbed my shoulder.

“What are you doing?” Peter frantically whispered in my ear.

“Showing that bitch some over due justice.” I continued to walk past him.

“Y/n, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I turned around to look at Peter.

“Don’t tell me what to do.” I then turned around to see Liz and her friends gone, but the girl still standing there tears staining her cheeks. I walked up to her. “Hey don’t listen to what Liz has to say she’s just a bitch. She wouldn’t know the first thing about beauty.“ Kaidy looked up at me and smiled “And hey I think Charles does know beauty when he sees it.” I motioned over to Charles who was walking up to both of us. He began to talk to Kaidy and ask her on a date, when I began to walk away.

I walked up to Peter and Ned “My work here is down.” I smiled triumphantly.

“Wow what we do without you y/n?” Peter rolled his eyes.

“Oh don’t act all bitchy cause I was going to talk to your little crush, telling her she’s a bitch. Honestly I don’t get what you see in her.”

“I don’t like her.” Peter mumbled, as you rolled your eyes and left your locker to go to class. ’‘I like you.” He mumbled to himself.

It was lunch and me, Peter and Ned were getting our lunch when I heard Liz talking to Kaidy again.

“So I heard Charles asked you out, he probably only did that because he pities you. I mean he probably could like you if you lost a few pounds.” 

I balled my fists up and closed my eyes taking a breath, trying not to punch the shit out of Liz. We all got your food and walked back to our table. As got back to the table I slammed my tray on the table.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” Ned asked.

I faked a smile “Nothing.”

I watched as Kaidy walked away from Liz not listening to her which made you happy. I then saw Liz walk up to Kaidy again and sit next to her at her lunch table.

“Are you seriously going to eat that? You need to lose weight as it is don’t eat that. And if you lose weight more guys will like you.“ I heard Liz tell Kaidy and that was my final straw.

I got up from the table and grabbed Peter’s smoothie.

"Hey!” Peter yelled as I took his smoothie.

“Just buy another one," I grumbled and started to walk away "cause trust me you aren’t getting this back.”

 I walked up to Liz and Kaidy “Hey guys what are you guys talking about?” Peter and Ned watched as you went up them.

“Oh y/n perfect we can get your opinion on this too. Don’t you think Kaidy here needs to lose some weight.”

I clenched my jaw “No I don’t think she needs to lose any weight, in fact I think she perfect." I smiled over to Kaidy.

"Well I mean that is coming from you.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean.”

“Well I mean you are someone who could also lose some weight. I mean maybe it would help, with your insane crush on Peter. He would notice you more if you were skinny like me.”

“Why do you always have to be such a god damn bitch.”

“Why don’t you go back to your friends and not bother me anymore.”

“You know what you’re right Liz, bye!” I threw the smoothie into Liz’s face. Everyone then turned to me and started laughing at Liz. “You’re dead bitch!" I heard Liz yell. I turned around and put up my middle fingers. I then quickly walked out of the cafeteria only making one glance at Peter who was also looking at me already.

Peter’s Pov

We were sitting down at our table when I looked over at y/n. Her fists were clenched and he looked so pissed off. God she’s hot when she’s mad. Fuck Peter don’t think of your best friend like that. Her plum lips were in a straight line. I wonder what those lips would feel like to kiss. No Peter stop that’s weird. But I bet she tastes good like strawberries. No Peter stop don’t think of her like that. She’s just your friend and that’s all she’ll ever be.

I looked over a Ned who also realized something was off with y/n. He nudged my shoulder and I just shrugged my shoulders. Then got of nowhere she just got up from the table and I looked over to her.

I accidentally looked at her at the wrong moment as she got up from the table and her ass was basically in my face and I couldn’t help but stare. Then I quickly looked away as she started to grab my smoothie.

"Hey!” I yelled over to her.

“Just buy another one.” I rolled my eyes and watched as she walked over to Liz and the girl she had been picking on. God what did I ever see in Liz she’s so mean, but y/n still thinks I like her but I just use her as a cover so y/n doesn’t find out I like her. I mean she could never find out. I’m weak and a nerd compared to the other guys she’s dated. She always dated the super strong guy with muscles, I’m not like that. Then I saw y/n sit across from Liz. “Hey guys what are you guys talking about?” I heard y/n say

“Oh y/n perfect we can get your opinion on this too. Don’t you think Kaidy here needs to lose some weight.” I heard Liz say in her bitchy voice. God this is going to be a shit show.

“No I don’t think she needs to lose any weight, in fact I think she perfect.” Y/n is so nice she’s always sticking up for people and- “I mean maybe it would help, with your insane crush on Peter. He would notice you more if you were skinny like me.” I was brought out of my thoughts by what Liz said. Omg is that true does y/n have a crush on me. Holy shit this can’t be happening I have to tell her I like her too.. Right now Peter. Do it Peter.

I was about to get up when I saw y/n throw my smoothie in Liz’s face. I started laughing and watched her as she left the cafeteria. She caught my gaze and looked over at me and smiled. I got up from the table and followed her out the door. I walked towards the bathroom and watched as she just walked in. I waited out there for a little until she came out. As the door opened and she came out.

“Having fun stalker?” She asked. I chuckled.

“Shut up.” You both stood there awkwardly “What you did out there was pretty cool, I mean like totally badass. I’ve never seen you like that before.’' 

"Thanks. It’s just that what Liz was saying to that girl pissed me off.” You looked down at the floor. As I walked closer to her. Ok Peter this is your chance. I walked closer and closer till our bodies were almost touching.

“Y/n.” I whispered and she looked up from the ground, and into my eyes. I then in and captured her lips in a kiss. After a few seconds I pulled.

“Umm so is what Liz said was true? That you had a crush on me?” I asked.

She bite her lip and rolled her eyes “You know for being some math genius you seriously aren’t that smart.” I laughed at her response.

“And what Liz said wasn’t true you don’t need to lose any weight to gain my attention, you already have it.”

“Yea I know, I’m not going to listen to that bitch.” She said confidently. She’s so confident that’s why I love her. Wait did I just say love? Holy shit. I think I love her. 

1. Growing up doesn’t happen all at once. Being persistent in trying is half the battle won.

2. Loneliness can feel a lot like love in the middle of the night. Any text intended to be sent past 2AM can wait until the next day. If your feelings were true, they would still be valid in the morning.

3. Treat people kindly no matter what you’re going through. You will want to be remembered for being that person.

4. You don’t have to change who you are in order to fit in, but it is important to accommodate other’s differences and comfort in your presence. What you think is a small gesture may mean the world to another person.

5. Love on your family, near and far. You never know which hug may be the last.

6. Friends and family may be your support system, but only you can pick up your broken pieces. Accept that you are all that you have.

7. People change. Most times without prior notice, often with no explanation. Wish them well on their way, and move on with your life.

8. Holding onto the things not meant for you will only kill you. Letting them go will set you free.

9. Starting from the bottom does not mean that you’re losing out. It means that your journey forward can only be an uphill one.

10. Thy will be done. Some days you are going to question God’s ways, but you know that His will is ultimately what’s best.

11. It is more important to live your life looking forward than it ever is looking back.

12. You will never forget the people who were kind to you, especially when they didn’t have a reason to be. You will carry a piece of them with you wherever you go.

13. Appreciate everything that you have, even the little things. You don’t get to keep it all forever.

14. When God closes a door, He opens a window. Keep your eyes open to see the silver linings.

15. Not everybody will understand you. But those that do, never forsake them. Never leave them.

16. Sometimes you’ll need to lose yourself in order to be found, then reformed, to be much better than you ever were.

17. Block out the noise that surround you, and focus on yourself. You will move mountains, you will fight. It is you that will bring you places.

18. Peace and contentment comes from living your life from the inside out rather than the outside in. Human recognition may come as one part of the journey, but it should never be the goal.

19. Go out for that 8AM breakfast with your parents. It might be the time you got the most laughs out of the week.

20. Trust your instincts. There’s a reason why it screams louder than the voice in your head.

21. With heartbreaks, come new beginnings.

—  Lessons Learnt In 2016, @samanthalisae
Cashton Fanfiction Masterpost

Hi friends, I have began to notice that it’s hard to find quality fan fiction of the two idiots called Calum Hood and Ashton Irwin so I decided to make this! Hope it helps a bit! (It will be updated frequently)

when you love someone by asht0nCalum pulls away to look at him and Ashton gets distracted by his … everything. Calum’s eyes are sparkling again, like he knows exactly what Ashton’s thinking even if he can’t say it properly, and it’s amazing, how much Calum can convey with just those eyes. Ashton thinks if he could only look at one thing for the rest of his life, this would be it, a hundred times over.

My Notes and Thoughts: This was honestly one of the best things I have ever read. It has so much passion and reality in it along with being too well written. The first chapter does involve smut and just god bless. 

I’ll See You With Your Laughter Lines by CliffordAfflictionSnippets of Calum and Ashton’s life together through Ashton’s eyes

My Notes and Thoughts: This was so cute and well written. I fell in love with Calum’s character and their relationship.

Perfect Score by thesoulsailor:  They weren’t six years old anymore. Calum had grown up to become a local football sensation and Ashton had grown to become a photography nerd whose biggest social descriptor was ‘Calum Hood’s best friend, the weird one’ but all that had never mattered. Even as a certified cool kid, Calum had never let him down and Ashton would do everything he could to make sure he wasn’t letting down Calum either.

“Of course.” Ashton hooked his pinkie around the one Calum offered. “Of course, I’ll help you.”
“Thank you.”
Despite the odds of this ending in a catastrophe, Ashton felt an honest, almost manic smile tug at his lips. “Let’s do it then. We’re gonna make sure you graduate, superstar.”

or Calum needs a perfect score, Ashton has the perfect plan and there ought to be nothing easier than breaking into the principal’s office, right?

My Notes and Thoughts: I know everyone is going crazy waiting for this fit’s continuation and so am I. I swear this will be amazing and for some reason it’s like Riverdale without death and murder?

We Are Gold, You Are Fire by fckmukeAshton didn’t say a word, just watched the younger boy focus miserably on his sandwich. Maybe that did answer the question about the previous night, maybe Calum was feeling it just as much as he was. Did he dare bring it up? Would bringing up the suffocating elephant in the room ruin all the progress they had just made this morning in attempt to get back to their normal friendship?

 or, Ashton and Calum hook up and struggle with dealing with it

or, the fic no one asked for based on Cashton’s adventures in europe


So Much Better by cashcakeplzThis is good, good for Ashton. He works so hard, always taking care of the boys, he deserves someone who will take his mind off of things, even for a couple of hours to get coffee. Maybe it’ll make him better, and by extension, the band better. Maybe Bryana is a good thing for everyone. Yet, even now, as Calum tries to think of how great Bryana could be for Ashton, he can’t help but think that he would be so much better.

Or the one where Calum and Ashton have been Friends With Benefits for years, and Calum thought his feelings for Ashton were simply sexual until Bryana came into the picture.

My Notes and Thoughts: You see, I’m not the person of long fics and books but this honestly cut me off my feet I am struggling. 

Break The Plans We Had Before by mukeofficial: Calum loved his best friends, Michael and Luke, more than anything; and being able to give the best man speech at their wedding was an honour.

My Notes and Thoughts: This starts out with a little bit of Muke but then turns into cute fluffy yet smutty Cashton, it’s beautiful.

Some Kind of Radar System (Locked in on Love) by tigerlily_sunshine“I love you, Cal. Every single part of you. I love you, and that’s not going to change. Ever. No matter what you do. I will always love you.”

Calum chokes out a laugh that may, instead, be a sob. Ashton sneaks his hands underneath Calum’s armpits so that he can draw Calum into a hug, one that is even tighter than the hold Calum himself has on Ashton.

“That’s what they all say, but nobody ever means it.”

(In which Ashton is head over heels in love with Calum, but Calum has a secret that could break them.)

My Notes and Thoughts: This touched me in the heart because of how this asexual character thought about himself and intimacy while his boyfriend was nothing but supportive and cute about it, I just love and adore this so much and highly recommend it.

it’s obvious i just can’t get enough of you by nationalnobody, selvish: It’s 6PM and Calum is angry. Calum isn’t an angry guy but there is only so much Michael Clifford Bullshit ™ that one human being can physically take. Being the super cool-headed and level guy he is, he heads to the gym to wind down and relax. Everything is going peachy until a fucking sex deity with curly hair has to bend over across the room and destroy any shred of cool in his body. 

My Notes and Thoughts: This was filthy, well written and mesmerising.

you’re the thing that i can’t quit by lucasfletcher: “So, you’ve got the hots for your son’s football coach?” Michael asks from the other side of the bar, leaning on his elbows and blowing his gum in Ashton’s face annoyingly. 

“Shh, Michael,” Ashton looks around to make sure no one’s close enough to hear them. 

“And who the fuck even says ‘got the hots’ anymore?” 

“So you do!” he pauses and a grin takes over his features. 

“Also fuck you I can say whatever I want.”

or, the super cute cashton one

My Notes and Thoughts: This was honestly so cute and I loved how fluffy it was.

Anywhere in the world by bluennaAshton starts at a new school and meets Michael and Luke.

And then, Calum.

My Notes and Thoughts: I loved the beginning of this so much and loved how thought out it was, I’m sure you will as well.

message in a bottle by CalumSmiles (dreamforlife)In retrospect, he should’ve thought it through. An entire week with a perpetually shirtless Ashton. Calum really, really should have thought this through.

It’s been half a day and Calum is currently rubbing sunscreen over Ashton’s shoulders.

“For someone who’s always on about looking after yourself, you managed to get almost burnt in less than four hours,” he snorts, working the coconut-scented scream down Ashton’s back.

Ashton just groans, back arching towards Calum as he bends forward to lean elbows on his knees. 

“Shut up.”

“Oh real mature, bro,” Calum says, laughing. 

He finishes smoothing the cream across the small of Ashton’s back, lip between his teeth. 

“There. Don’t turn into Michael or I’ll regret saying yes to this impulsive decision of yours.”

Ashton’s back tenses faintly under his hands.“Spontaneity.” Ashton pulls away and turns around with his eyes hidden behind sunglasses and a curl to his lips. “Is the spice of life.”


Or, Ashton takes Calum to Hawaii and Calum smells a rat. Something’s up and he’s pretty sure this isn’t as impulsive as Ashton would have him believe.Oh and, Calum is ass over tit in love with Ashton.

My Notes and Thoughts: This is one of my utter favourites because of how long it is that makes you tell that how much effort was put into this. THE SMUT WAS AMAZING AND SO WAS THE FLUFF!

baby it’s cold outside by irwah: “I love you. I love you so much and anytime spent with you is perfect, I don’t care about some spilt wine or a simple dinner or the jetlag.” He takes Calum’s hands in his and kisses them both. “This holiday is going to be amazing because we’re here together, the two of us, on our fifth anniversary, in this magical resort where we first met and I couldn’t be happier. So please, relax, forget about everything and let’s fuck.”

Calum laughs at his boyfriend’s cheekiness, knowing it’s a decoy to distract from the disgustingly corny monologue he just gave.

Or: domestic cashton take on the alps

My Notes and Thoughts: This was hauntingly beautiful with the mentions of Muke, their adopted child and the backstory of Cal and Ash’s relationship. 

Ocean Avenue by CliffordAfflictionCashton adventures based off of the song Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard

My Notes and Thoughts: This story was amazing in every way but I loved the whole ‘i eat smth I hate bc it reminds me of my ex’ thing.

I see me all over you by CalumSmiles (dreamforlife): There’s a sound very much similar to that of a cat being strangled. Ashton raises an eyebrow as he lifts himself back up again.

“I…you—I—” Calum splutters and when Ashton snorts, he groans. “Shut up! Shut—shut the fuck up! Oh my god, I hate you. You fucking suck—you suck, Ashton.”

Ashton blinks in surprise, a confused frown pulling at his eyebrows, and he stops his push-ups, flipping around and sitting down, one hand braced behind him to support his exhausted body and the other pushing back his sweat-drenched fringe away from his face.

“What?” He asks.

Calum is on the floor, legs bent to the side, gaping at Ashton as he pants. His eyes are trained on Ashton’s heaving chest. His entire face is a splotchy red, expression horrified.

Ashton frowns. “Bro, you d—”

“Fuck, bench press me,” Calum blurts out.


Ashton is trying to break his record of two hundred push-ups and Calum is not watching him. And he isn’t thirsting after Ashton. No, definitely not.Or, basically the one where Ashton beats Calum at his own game…unintentionally.

My Notes and Thoughts: This started out with Calum being creepy as fuck and ended with literal filth, I love it. 

Paint The Sky For Me On Christmas by lookslikehecansurfAshton just wants to make his workplace look festive, without any idea what(or who) a box of Christmas decorations could lead him to.

Or, “my shop window decorations are better than yours” AU


the way I’ve been lovin’ you by CalumSmiles (dreamforlife): Ashton chuckles. “Was that an attempt to distract me? Bro, I still want answers. What’s got you so riled up these days?” 

You, lies on the tip of his tongue but he obviously doesn’t say it. 

“It’s been a while, I guess,” is what he says instead. 

Ashton pats his knee. “We can go out tomorrow night. Find you a nice girl.” He smirks. “Give your right hand a break, or we’ll be out of a bass player real soon.” 

Calum really needs the ground to open up and swallow him whole so he can escape from this conversation.

 I don’t want a girl, he groans silently. I really don’t want a girl. 


It’s the complete shock in Ashton’s voice that makes Calum look at him. Wide-eyed, slack-jawed and completely befuddled, Ashton is staring at him. 

“What?” Calum asks. He waves a hand in front of Ashton’s face “What?”

Ashton blinks rapidly. “You don’t want a girl?” 


Or, Calum sees something he probably shouldn’t have, has an existential crisis about it, and Ashton learns some things. Michael is the devious matchmaker.

My Notes and Thoughts: I really wanna punch Michael in the face but kiss him at the same time in this, it’S WeiRD. Btw if you are interested in anything this amazing writer writes like me, this has a part two that’s mainly muke.

You Too by JetBlackHeart…and really Michael should have guessed that the next time Luke opened his big mouth it’d be to say something extraordinarily stupid.

“Truth or dare”, suggests Luke, like a fucking idiot.

“Absolutely not!”, exclaims Michael at the exact same time that Calum bellows,

“HELL YES”. Obviously fucking Calum would be on board with it, the little shit.

“Well if you guys are down then so am I”, smiles Ashton, and Michael glares daggers at him because he’s a fucking traitor.

When 5SOS play truth or dare as a banding activity, things get a bit too real and Michael doesn’t know what the fuck to do with all of these goddamn feelings.

My Notes And Thoughts: This is a real masterpiece that does involve a lot of make but Cashton is also dominant so I suggest you to give this amazing writing a try.

Extra Hot by JetBlackHeartA really fluffy Coffee Shop AU with Calum and Luke as the cute baristas, Ashton as Mr Sexy-voice/Pretentious Coffee Guy/Biceps, and Michael as Fucking Michael™

Based on the tumblr post:

Omg I just went to get a latte from my regular coffee shop and I always have the same guy serving me and I must bug him so much as I would always ask for almomd milk (im lactose intolerant) but they would just have lacto free so I stuck with that and today as I drank my latte I could tell the difference in the milk and asked if they started serving almond milk and the guy just shyly said “well you always ask if we have it so i got it specially for you” thiS GUY BOUGHT THE MILK WITH HIS OWN MONEY I FEEL SO PREVILEDGED RIGHT NOW EAAAAHH

My Notes And Thoughts: This was honestly one of the best, not only because how cute it was but also because of the smut.

Make Pretend that You and Me Lived Ever After Happily by tigerlily_sunshine: “How mad d’you think Michael would be if I switched out his candles for trick ones?”

“You wished for a promotion last year,” says Ashton. 

“Don’t even pretend like you don’t take Michael’s Christmas wishes seriously.”

“You’re not supposed to know what I wish for,” says Calum. “Doesn’t that defeat the power of the wish?”

Ashton shrugs.

“Wish quieter next time.”

(In which Michael’s Christmas cupcakes are truly magic)

My Notes and Thoughts: Okay, everyone was talking about this, I was talking about it, you were talking about it, IT DESERVES TO BE TALKED ABOUT.

passing through unconscious states by cyclogenesis (addictedkitten): The heater on the bus stops working, and the boys do what they must to stay warm. Also there are a lot of feelings.

My Notes and Thoughts: In which this is kind of ot4 bc Cashton have an audience

chips of glass by asymmetricA month before 5 Seconds of Summer’s first gig, Calum puts up an ad on craigslist.

Ashton is the one who answers.

My Notes and Thoughts: This is 40k and deserves the attention it gets. It’s a beautiful masterpiece. 

I’ll Take You Far Away by nationalnobodyThe first time Calum decided to sit next to the blonde, or as he preferred, drummer boy it was because of his Nirvana shirt. That and partly because everybody on the bus looked like druggies or something of the sort and that kind of scared Calum.

My Notes and Thoughts: This was so cute and amazing I let some tears fall bc of happiness 

i thought i said i wasn’t good at this by drunklukes: Calum’s stomach drops when he realizes. The dropped books, the cute guy, the distraction of the sketch. That guy, whoever he was, had to have the notebook. A running list of Calum’s most personal thoughts from the past two years. Calum stares at the wall in disbelief, trying to plan his course of action. How was he supposed to get something back from a guy whose name he didn’t even know?

or calum is the seemingly douchey fraternity president and starving artist ashton happens upon his notebook full of lyrics

My Notes and Thoughts: I love it when bad guys turn to cute little squishy ppl

if there’s one thing i know it’s that we’re good together by irwah: It isn’t that weird, really, if you think about it. Ashton is just one guy, a guy who spends a lot of time working out. And he’s admiring his best friend working out, his technique, his breathing pattern - totally normal things he observes in other people when he’s at the gym. 

Except it is weird. Because he’s not admiring Calum’s technique, he’s admiring Calum’s abs, the way the sweat is pooling in the dips between muscles, the way his shoulder muscles clench with the force it takes him to do a sit up. He’s not admiring Calum’s technique so much as admiring his body.

or: Cashton fuck in a gym

My Notes and Thoughts: Because how could a smut that has With Confidence lyrics as a title be bad.

Ghostbusters by CalumSmiles (dreamforlife)“That sounds like I’m proposing to him,” Ashton says, grimacing. “Like an old English gentleman.”

Michael lets out a low, amused huh sound as he settles down. “Doubt he’ll mind. He’ll probably jump you and say yes.”

“Your other option is to walk in, declare your everlasting love and then suck his dick,” Luke says, shrugging.

Ashton sighs, trying to rub away the headache that’s starting to throb in his temples. “So you’re telling me that your great plan is for me to just walk into his room and tell him that I’m in love with him? Gee thanks, guys, I’m never asking you two losers for advice ever.”

A strangled sound comes from the doorway.


Or, Ashton is in love. With Calum, obviously. Calum has no clue. Michael is bitter that his brilliant plan hadn’t worked all those years ago and Luke? Well, Luke is on Michael’s side.Basically, Calum finally frustrated Ashton into confessing accidentally to Michael and Michael decides that enough is enough.


Just a Little Bit by alseeptodayCalum is pretty sure he’s going to love getting hit. He gets some help from Ashton.

“You want me to hit you?” Ashton croaked, voice soft. Calum immediately felt ashamed for asking.


Got ‘til it’s gone by gonnamuke“Luke, Luke, listen, can you send the certificate?” Calum asks. Luke sighs and tells them to hold on one second while he does so and when he does, Calum opens the messenger app, clicks into the attachment, and there it is, clear as day. Calum Thomas Hood and Ashton Fletcher Irwin, married at 5 in the morning. This morning.

His mum is going to kill him.

My Notes and Thoughts: Basically cashton get married in Vegas and it’s LIT

We’re proving to each other that romance is boring by eleretThe thing about this thing Ashton’s got going with Calum, is that now he’s started, it’s like he physically can’t stop.

My Notes and Thoughts : This basically smut w a lot of feelings and I’m living for it

#littlecalumthings by CalumSmiles (dreamforlife): Luke loses it as Michael throws his head back and howls, laughter high-pitched and squeaky as he waves an apologetic hand at Calum before letting himself get swept up in Michael’s infectious amusement.“I fucking hate you all,” Calum mutters, crossing his arms and scowling out the window.

“Hey Ash,” Michael gasps in a poor imitation of Calum, “Hey Ash, I’m so gay, I’m so fucking gay!”Luke pleads for relief, leaning weakly against the car door, eyes streaming as he clutches at his stomach.“I love cocks, did you know? Cocks are the best, I love cocks!” Michael waves an imaginary bottle of beer in the air. “Cocks, man! I love them!"Calum hates Michael. He really hates Michael. He hates Luke too, that little shit


Pining Calum, oblivious Ashton and ultimately, wall sex. Michael should’ve bought the popcorn.


Rock Bottom by  crash-queen aka stelleshine (stelleshine): Moving to LA with Calum was supposed to be a great idea, but reality was smacking into Ashton like a bitch slap he didn’t ask for. If that wasn’t bad enough, he was running out of money, his crush on Calum wasn’t getting any easier to handle, and his roommates’ suggestion to combat their financial situation was threatening to break his heart completely.

Or Calum and Ashton are broke, so Calum suggests they get fake engaged at KFC for a free meal. Prompt from Tumblr.

My Notes and Thoughts: This is the cutest, most loving, ALSO KIND OF SADDEST, and one of my favourite pieces of writing I’ve ever stumbled across. I love this so so so so much.

Drunk Off Of Nothing But Each Other by scruffylouCalum looked at the messy coffee table and the piles of books that were over flowing from the couch to the floor. “Ash…have you been leaving the house at all?” he asked quietly. The question hung tensely in the air and mixed with the dust and the light beams and the buzz of the TV running.

“Yeah,” Ashton snapped. “I just don’t invite anyone here. I just hung out with Michael yesterday. Why?”

“I dunno…” Calum hesitated. “Things just don’t usually look like this.”

Ashton sipped his tea again. His glasses steamed up a little and the mug was dwarfed between his huge hands. “You wouldn’t know, would you?”

“Because you wouldn’t let me.”

“Would YOU let you?” Ashton raised his eyebrows and stared at Calum without really blinking.

Calum had to look down at his tea. He felt a little sick. “No.”

My Notes and Thoughts: While reading this, it gave me much more than MAKE-UP SEX. This oneshot is full of such a strong emotion and the writing is absolutely Nobel worthy. Love this so muchhhhh. 

GOT7 Reaction to their S/O being sporty

Request by @theweasleytwins02


Originally posted by tuanpumpkins

Out of all the boys, I see Mark being the most chill about it at first. He might kind of brush it off, but still tell you how proud of you he was. He’d be excited that he would get to see you play, but the compliments would never end once you got in the car to leave. 

“How did you even do that?! You looked flawless playing out there, I don’t understand how you did it.”


Originally posted by msmichellec

Ohh Jaebum. I’d really like to say that he wouldn’t be turned on, but there’s no way in hell he wouldn’t be. Seeing you have a completely different personality on the field would screw with him so much. How’d he get so damn lucky to have you? good luck and congratulations kisses become a regular thing

“You are going to be the death of me, you know that right?”


Originally posted by jacksonisjbsprincess

Have you ever seen those dads on the sidelines that over-react to every call the ref makes and are the epitome of extra? Well, that’s Jackson. He’d constantly stay on the thin line between supportive and embarrassing, but you love it. Watching you absolutely kill it out there would make him swell with pride, and he would make sure everybody knows it.

“Oh my god, that’s my baby! THAT’S MY BABY!”


Originally posted by kittenyeong

Hella supportive. Jinyoung would be the one to take you out and make sure you had the best gear possible to ensure your safety and best game play. When he was home, he’d be at all of your games. If he was away and couldn’t make it, he’d make your best friend facetime him while you played.

“Can you turn it a bit to the left? Yeah, right there! They’re doing so well!”


Originally posted by jungkookandyugyeomwhores

He’d be a giggling mess. After he saw you watching recordings of you playing, he’d be so happy. Youngjae would immediately ask you to start teaching him more about the sport you play. He’d want to know everything he could about it so he could properly cheer you on at your next game.

“Wait, so what is it called when your team scores again?”


Originally posted by tanjhent

Honestly, Bambam would give you so many reactions, it’d be hard to catch them all. Shock, confusion, realization, happy, excited, and turned on. He’d wonder why you never mentioned it before, and worried that he did something to make you not want to tell him. Then, the happiness would take over since he could see how much you love the sport. Expect for him to get turned on when he sees you in your uniform or out playing.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” “You’re just so damn sexy.”


Originally posted by jungkookandyugyeomwhores

As a lover of dancing, he would be so excited to know that you love something as much as he does. He would be such a cutie coming out to your games, bringing protein bars and water for your breaks. Hell, he’d even bring you an extra set of clothes with toiletries so you could get cleaned up after games and practices.

“You did amazing out there! I brought you my favorite hoodie and some stuff to shower with so you don’t have to feel gross while we go for dinner.”

Don’t forget that requests are still open, and that ships will be open later today!

-grey ❤

I mean, i remember it happening like once very early on in the first book but you cannot tell me that every time Sadie or Carter introduced each other as their siblings and people gave them the questioning “wait related or step-sibling” stare, sadie didn’t either ball out or act exceedinly dramatic about it to carter’s amusement/humiliation

some rando: you don’t look like you’re related.

sadie: *in extreme monotone* oh my god. no has ever told us that before. tell me, sir, how does it feel to be the first person to ever witness mixed race siblings?


some rando: so then… what are you?

sadie: chocolate and vanilla swirl, an oreo, white chocolate, those chocolate ice cream bars with vanilla filling

carter: sadie-



❛ if you wanna know anything about chickens, just ask. ❜
❛ my arm doesn’t bend that way! ❜
❛ well, i thought i was dead so i just let it crush my body. ❜
❛ just let it take me! ❜
❛ what? people like me? i thought i was just a big disappointment. ❜
❛ are you gonna tell me that my grandma is wrong? ❜
❛ they had them DSLs. dick suckin’ lips. ❜
❛ just do me a favor & leave your trash behind when you leave so that i can use it to set fires when i’m homeless. ❜
❛ i’m getting really emotional so i’m watching marriage proposals. ❜
❛ ever since i mopped up his blood from the floor he’s been really nice to me. ❜
❛ someone wanna explain why there’s a turd in the trashcan? ❜
❛ i’m so glad i have something to look forward to now. for a second there i was just wondering when i was gonna die. ❜
❛ he/she was just trying to hit up for a threesome. ❜
❛ a foursome? woah! that’s way too many people. ❜
❛ seriously, how do foursomes even work? ❜
❛ i just opened the door & there was a naked man running at me! ❜
❛ i was a little drunk. there was a lot of yelling. i kept punching a wall. ❜
❛ i’m over here being a child of god. ❜
❛ i’m catholic. i’ve been drinking wine my whole life. ❜
❛ i’m the nicest asshole i know. ❜
❛ oh, good, you know how much i just love being ignored! ❜
❛ ‘i can eat twelve of those.’ that’s exactly what you said. then you threw up. ❜
❛ i love pringles. what a nice synthetic food. ❜
❛ well there goes our hopes of ever being best friends. ❜
❛ nothing like a good line of cocaine on a sunday morning. ❜
❛ yeah, come on back. i know you want to show me all the underwear you bought. ❜
❛ oh, dammit … someone took a shit in the trashcan again. ❜

Flying on Cloud Nine

Anonymous asked: Could I have HS BFF Destiel jumping on a trampoline and one falling on the other and have an awkward moment of silence where they lean in slowly them realize what they’re doing and awkwardly get off with throat clearing and running the back or their neck and they decide to go inside and there’s just sexual tension that everyone senses and they resolve it that same night when Cas sleeps over v fluffy pls :):):):)

A/N: This was sent to @destieldrabblesdaily​ but I really liked the prompt :)


“I still can’t believe your dad let you go to the fair on a school night,” Dean jostled his best friend in the ribs as they entered the fair grounds.

“Yeah, well, he may be under the impression that I’m sleeping over at your house?” Cas raised his hands as he shrugged, an uncharacteristic devil smile playing on his lips. It only widened when he saw Dean’s baffled expression.

You,” Dean pointed at Castiel’s chest, “Castiel ‘I’m-never-breaking-a-rule’ Novak, mean to tell me that you lied?” He mocked surprise, secretly pleased that the junior was finally living a little rebelliously, even if it was not telling his parents about where he would be.

“Well, technically I didn’t,” Cas countered. “I am sleeping over. He just didn’t know we’d be coming here,” He gestured to the ferris wheel and amusement park rides that littered Lawrence Park, booths set up every which way to make the most out of the space.

“Well, baby steps,” Dean slapped him on the back before scanning the rides. “What’re in for, rebel?”

Cas scoffed at the nickname. “We’ve been on every ride since we were kids. They’re hardly fun anymore.”

“Yeah, but those times we were with our parents, and they only put us on the little trains that go in that God-awful circle,” Dean continued scanning until his eyes landed on the perfect ride. “Bingo.”

“What?” Castle followed Dean’s line of sight before his eyes fell upon the largest trampoline he’d ever seen. “Oh no.”

“Why not? I thought you said you’d be a rebel?” Dean began walking towards the trampoline, forcing Cas to follow or else risking losing his best friend in the crowd. 

“I didn’t say that you did,” Cas muttered, but he knew Dean. Once his mind was made up that was it. Still, he was confused. Dean hated any form of flying, which included jumping. Was this Dean’s way of being a rebel. Castiel couldn’t help but smile. Maybe stepping out of his comfort zone wasn’t such a bad idea…

Keep reading

You’re great at apologies

Alec couldn’t believe what he was hearing, his blood was boiling, and he needed to get out of there before saying something he might regret later.

“Alec, where are you going?”  His mother demanded as he stormed off, bewildered by this new-found defiance. Where had her obedient, dutiful son gone?

“To Magnus’, I owe him an apology” he offered as he continued walking away, not bothering to face her. Though worry for Jace was weighing on his mind, he knew what he needed to do right now was talk to Magnus. He needed to apologize.

Five hours. It had been five hours since he had stormed away from his mother, intent upon heading to Magnus’ to apologize for treating him so unfairly. Yet here he still sat, outside Magnus’ building, rehearsing his apology over and over again. He was sure he looked like a lunatic to random passerbyers, mumbling softly to himself with the occasional accompanying hand gestures. He didn’t care though; he wanted this apology to be perfect. He had been horrible to Magnus, and he wanted, no needed to make it right. After one last run thru, he finally felt ready to face Magus.

Running his hands anxiously through his hair, he gathered his courage and made his way to Magnus’ apartment. After knocking and receiving no answer he tried the door handle, relieved to find it unlocked.

The hairs on Magnus’ neck stood on end as he sensed a presence pass through his wards, a presence which he instantly recognized as none other than Alexander. Unconsciously he dropped his glamor momentarily, as he felt anger flare up inside. Ever since Jace had left with Valentine, Alec had been on edge, to put it lightly. These last few days had been especially difficult for the young shadowhunter, and Magnus had bore the brunt of his frustration. While he assumed Alec was here to offer some sort of apology, he had no intention of making it easy for him. Keeping his back to the apartment, he replaced his glamor and continued working out.

As Alec walked across the living room, his nerves started getting the better of him. What if Magnus doesn’t forgive me? What if I ruined the best thing that had ever happened to me? What if … Alec shook his head, pushing down those doubts, and running through what he was going to say once more in his mind.  He heard a low hum of magic coming from the balcony, so he made his way over, but when Magnus came into view, every line of his rehearsed apology flew out of his head. He had never seen Magnus shirtless before, and god damn it was truly a thing of beauty. The warlock was doing some kind of magical tai chi workout, though it looked more like a dance, as swayed gracefully back and forth. Magic pulsing between his powerful hands, the muscles in his back rippling as they contracted with each rhythmic movement.

“Magnus,” Alec began, silently wondering when his mouth had become so dry. Magnus gave no indication of hearing him, but he carried on. “I’m not good at apologies, but I’m … I’m sorry.”  Wow, great start. Five hours and that’s what you came up with?

Read the rest on AO3


Fuck it. They all look so beautiful in that white suit.
Gods. The line distribution is one of the best ever. Yongguk and Zelo took so much care in making all their members’ voices shine.
Plus, the fanchant and the whistle!!! I had mine out while watching. Pretty sure babyz who have it did, too. :)
And you know what stands out aside from the overflowing talent (did you hear those live vocals?!!!) and visuals?! Their skin color!! Holy shit!! You can actually see that no one is whitewashed!!

Now, we just have to hope for the best, that no one gets injured and they finish this promotion as OT6.
B.A.P., fighting!!





The emotion with which she delivers the line about it being alright for Chris to die is MAGICAL, and gets to the heart of everything Chris has been avoiding thinking about–That Mary Beth’s fear had so much to do with knowing Chris might die, that the way she is cavalier with her own life is really hurting Mary Beth. 

Chris can be the best cop ever, and want to die a cop’s death, and all those noble ideas she has for herself are much easier when removed from the sticky knowledge that she is loved by someone, and that her absence would leave a dramatic hole in her life that could never be filled. It’s all well and good if it’s her, because then she never have to deal with the emotional fallout of losing, of being the one left behind. Mary Beth being shot scared her, too, but in a different way, that she might be the one who has to say goodbye, who has to move on, and she can’t do that, she won’t do that, so she stacks the deck just a little bit in her favor with every drink she takes and every time she blusters into a situation unprotected. Mary Beth will be fine, she’ll hardly notice I’m gone, and she’s SO UNCOMFORTABLE when Mary Beth calls her on her shit and directly asks her why it’s okay for her to die. She jumps up out of her chair and immediately escapes to behind Mary Beth, out of range of her gaze, so she doesn’t have to be looked at BY her, doesn’t have to see the genuine care that precedes the question. 

It’s all so delicious and amazing, and the vitriol with which she spits out, “What kind of stupid question is that?” is so tinged with the pain of being SEEN for what she is, the pain of seeing into her weaknesses, and i love it. 

stillstandinghere  asked:

For the hockey asks thing: all of them!? I'm genuinely curious

ALL of them? JFC this may take a while

1. favourite hockey jersey number
30, I guess? I don’t really care about numbers that much?
2. favourite dressing (clothing) style of a player 
Giroux. look at his lil sushi shorts. and he just always looks so comfortable. like sure he’s not as fly as Subban or shit, but I just love him and his trash style.
3. favourite player voice
Evgeni Malkin speaking Russian. like, maaaaan. those low and rumbly tones do things to me.
4. favourite hockey family/couple
5. favourite hockey best friends
nate mac and EVERYONE. he’s like everyone’s bro. ever.
6. favourite hockey video


7. favourite line
?????????? i really have no idea who i would chose
8. favourite off-ice bonding time
taking bad photos of team mates sleeping and snuggling on planes
9. favourite hockey player baby
cully’s kids. they’re fucking menaces and i love it.
10. favourite hockey hair
11. favourite jersey style
not the adidas ones.
12. favourite weird and rarely known fact about a hockey player
Jordie Benn’s real name is Phillip.
13. favourite player that’s dad af
THERE ARE SO MANY. BACKY? SPEZZA? WEBER? FOLIGNO? and that’s just the tip of the iceberg
14. favourite player that’s son af
Sid’s Kids? 
15. favourite soft hockey player
16. favourite sexy hockey player
Tyler Seguin Duh
17. favourite underrated hockey player
Vadim Virjassov. if you’re trying to work out what NHL team he’s on, he’s not. 
18. favourite overrated hockey player
I mean, Sid? I guess? but he’s not really overrated so much as BOSS.
19. favourite hockey chirp of all time
I mean, these are all great but i love that story Werenski told Foligno about accidentally turning the puck over to Marchand who scored, then turned around and started saying “Cut that kid, send him down!”
20. funniest thing you’ve ever heard a hockey player say
I mean, like every time Geno tries to talk shit and it gets lost in translation and comes out fucking hilarious? or maybe when Tyler Seguin apologised to Canada for swearing

u-usleep  asked:

Lafayette :9

Why I like them: he’s a doll go him lov u laf

Why I don’t: not enough laf

Favorite episode (scene if movie): ehhh??

Favorite season/movie: ehh

Favorite line: to the king; go away

Favorite outfit: bless everything he has

OTP: Lafayette/Herc

Brotp: Laf & Herc

Head Canon: lanky boy who’s taller than herc and tjeffs

Unpopular opinion: dude pretends to not know some english words and even fucks up his own language on purpose to screw with those around him

A wish: I wish for a picture of the lanky boy

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: let the man be with his wife forever please

5 words to best describe them: cocky, hilarious, quick, intelligent, informative

My nickname for them: Lank boy 2000

advice for the signs

Aries: try to keep some patience, you might find yourself having more fun, less stressy and have a lot more friends and closer relationships, just learn to wait for things once and a while you wont get what you want by not waiting.

Taurus: you aren’t the chillest person and you cant just ignore people because they arent at your standard. If you have not learnt all ready when you actually give people a chance you might see how much more they mean to you.

Gemini: stop replacing people for a ‘better offer’. when all those people leave you, you’ll regret leaving those who have now been long gone. Don’t complain about people ignoring you when you leave them for years and come back fine.

Cancer: you need to stop putting on such an innocent act when you aren’t, people will be surprised at the bad things you are capable off and do. you need to show everyone that you are actually like everyone else.

Leo: you’re lying like literally every minute. you do not need to lie to fit in and you dont need to change yourself just to fit in. those who can see through your lies will start to leave you as a friend and you hate being ignored dont you?

Virgo: tell people how you feel before its to late. Take some time, one day of not being productive and yeah maybe you will feel slightly shitty after but in the long run it will feel so good. 

Libra: stop trying to be on both sides, do what you think is right instead of always counting on others opinions or likes. Not everyones gonna like you, deal with it. 

Scorpio: LET GO. You always complain, about how sad you are or how annoyed or how you’re still angry at your ex from 6 years ago. Let go, and breathe.

Sagittarius: dont judge people so quickly, you may think you’re open minded and sure you probably are but not when you are quick to hate and slow to acceptance.

Capricorn:  accept criticism. accept help. accept love. accept yourself. Just realise how lucky you are and accept, self loathing wont get you anywhere but here and here is not the place you wanna be and you know that.

Aquarius: your mind is wide, like your mind. BUT ON NO LINE SHOULD YOU EVER TELL OTHERS SECRETS. Whether its your best friend or own family member be respectful, not only just to those close to you.

Pisces: look at what you have, you arent alone. You may think nobody cares for you but god so many do. THINK POSITIVELY. You only really need a few close friends, and they will help you get through the day.

hiding-from-my-husband  asked:

Sebastian, Vincent and Undertaker for the meme!

It’s perfectly fine to send this, cute Anon! Thank you both for asking (▰˘v˘▰)


  • Why I like them: Honestly… that’s a good question. I like him because he’s him. With all this attitude, tons of flaws, twisted personality and weird actions, that’s what makes him being himself and that’s exactly how I like him the most. I wouldn’t if he was somebody else.
  • Why I don’t: He’s such a narcissistic ass. And ass in general. And his sense of humor is just below anything. Whenever I read the manga and he appears I’m just constantly rolling my eyes to the point where it hurts, no kidding.
  • Favorite episode (scene if movie): Episode 4 of the second season! The one where he fucking lifts up and throws the roof of the train in the air and then stops the train with his bare hands, damn, I watched this way too many times already.
  • Favorite season/movie: Campania Arc. Does this count?
  • Favorite line: “What did you say about picking on the weak?” right after Ronald mocked him and then got hard punch right in the face in chapter 64, that’s how you go through life.
  • Favorite outfit: This trenchcoat/overcoat he wars mostly while travelling to London.
  • OTP: I ship him with myself lol None.
  • Brotp: I don’t know if this can be called brotp but his friendship with Agni is pretty interesting and I like it.
  • Head Canon: He’s a Gemini.
  • Unpopular opinion: His eyes are the most delightful part of his body and I’m totally not saying this because I’m able to write a few-paragraph, detailed description of them depending on how the light or darkness is falling upon them and what he’s currently looking at.
  • A wish: Can somebody finally kick his ass really, REALLY hard? Anyone? Undertaker?
  • An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: He can’t be left completely alone in the world, my heart won’t handle it.
  • 5 words to best describe them: Charming, malevolent, mischievous, lecherous, vicious.
  • My nickname for them: Sebuttstian. Seriously.


  • Why I like them: He’s a gentelman and even though he could be possibly doing many bad things, he still took great care of his family.
  • Why I don’t: He seem to be a little too light-headed for me.
  • Favorite episode (scene if movie): His past times in Weston College.
  • Favorite season/movie: None.
  • Favorite line: None.
  • Favorite outfit: Whichever, as long as he has those black gloves.
  • OTP: I don’t have any strong opinion there but I think their life would be completely different if he chose Madame Red.
  • Brotp: Undertaker.
  • Head Canon: I have no idea at the moment.
  • Unpopular opinion: There’s something very wrong with him but I can’t tell what exactly.
  • A wish: I wish he could just remain dead as he is. People need to move forward and bringing dead ones back to life literally never ends well.
  • An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Up.
  • 5 words to best describe them: Knight, gallant, gambler, proud, unfortunate.
  • My nickname for them: None.


  • Why I like them: He’s literally one of the most mysterious characters in the whole series, he let the others to believe that he’s just an harmless idiot while he was the strongest of them all.
  • Why I don’t: There’s no reason to not like Undertaker.
  • Favorite episode (scene if movie): His fight on the Campania? What’s new
  • Favorite season/movie: Up.
  • Favorite line: None, I like how he’s just laughing at everything while secretly listens, plans and patiently waits for the moments which are the most suitable for him.
  • Favorite outfit: His casual, gravedigger’s outfit. I’d totally dress up the same.
  • OTP: None, not now.
  • Brotp: Vincent.
  • Head Canon: His Hogwart House would be Slytherin.
  • Unpopular opinion: I’m truly concerned for his mental health, living after an attempt of killing himself and seeing all the people he cared for die must be a terrible thing, nobody should go through this alone.
  • A wish: I wish he could be truly, genuinely happy, not hiding behind the mask of laugh for once.
  • An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Nobody can defeat him in a fight, never ever.
  • 5 words to best describe them: Mysterious, fashionable, inteligent, feared, modest.
  • My nickname for them: Isn’t Undertaker a nickname already?
Confusion (Part 3) -- Michael Latta

Part 1.

Part 2.

Part 4.

Confusion Masterpost

Keep reading

I’m No Princess

((A/N: Ok! So I hope no one hates this. It was an Anon request, and while I wanted to get angsty, my next one is SUPER angsty so I decided against it. It’s sorta sweet. Nothing crazy. Hope it does the prompt proud!

PromptHey I love your blog and all your imagines. I’ve never requested one before, so here it goes. ~Can you do one where the reader and the boys go on a hunt, when it goes horribly wrong and the reader gets taken by a demon and then the boys find her barley alive tied to a chair or something and then the demon steps out? You can go anyway you want with this, I’ve just always liked this type of idea. Thanks! 

Word Count: 1819

Warnings: Language

Pairing: Dean x Reader ))

He couldn’t believe it.

In all your years hunting together Dean had never slipped up the way he had tonight. The last thing he remembered seeing, clearly, was a group of demons knocking you hard from behind, a pipe hitting the back of your head, and your crumpled body getting carried off. He had desperately howled as he reached for you, trying to fight off the other demons that had managed to sneak in, unannounced.

Keep reading

The Lady & The Shark


Put on your tin-foil hats and buckle up for a ride to Crazy Town, folks. I admit this one is out there.


In late July of 1974, a 13-year-old girl walking her dog in the dunes outside of Provincetown, MA, followed her beagle into a stand of stunted pines, and nearly stepped on the badly decomposed body of a young woman. For a time, the inconclusive investigation into her death gripped all of New England.

An attempt had been made to remove her head, probably with the blade of a shovel, but the decapitation had been unsuccessful. The killer had better luck taking off her hands, which were never found. Several teeth had also been removed, all part of an effort, one presumes, to make her impossible to identify. Her jeans and a blue bandana had been folded and placed beneath her head.

The press dubbed her the Lady of the Dunes and at the time of this writing, over 40 years later, no one has ever claimed her. She remains without a name or a history. Her killer has never been identified.

Much has been written about the Lady of the Dunes and I won’t bother to recap four decades of investigative work here. Deborah Halber dug about as deep into her story as anyone has ever gone in her book The Skeleton Crew: How Amateur Sleuths are Solving America’s Coldest Cases. I recommend it to anyone interested in the granular details of the Lady and also for readers of true crime in general.

For now, though, accept that to this day there are only a limited number of established facts. We know about the blue bandana and the Wrangler jeans. We know she was between the ages of 25 and 49 years old… although 30 seems a particularly good bet. She had expensive dental work. Her hair was auburn or red. She was fit, 145 pounds, and when she was discovered her hair was in a ponytail, captured by a holder with gold sparkles in it. There have been several attempts to reconstruct what she looked like. Here’s one of the most recent efforts:

That’s it. That’s what we know for sure. Everything else is conjecture. And in all the time since her death not one person has stepped forward to say, “I saw her. I met her a few weeks before she was found. I can tell you her name.”

But what if we’ve all seen her? What if she’s been in front of us for decades and we just never noticed?

Who’s in the mood for a ghost story?

Yeah. Okay.

So let’s talk about JAWS.


JAWS was filmed in Martha’s Vineyard in the summer of 1974. It was a famously challenging production; originally scheduled for 50 days of shooting, it took over 120 days to complete, and was continuously teetering on the edge of disaster. The work was worth it - it is the summer movie by which all other summer movies are judged. (The story of how the film got made is a fascinating narrative in its own right. Carl Gottlieb’s The JAWS Log is probably the single best recounting of those hot, desperate days on the beaches of Edgartown, MA)

It’s also my favorite movie. Nothing else is even close. It’s a story I’ve returned to again and again. I think I was nine the first time I saw it, on laserdisc, a format which predated VHS and DVD (God, I loved those big silver platters!). I’ve seen it at least once, almost every single year, ever since. I’m sure I’ve viewed the picture 25+ times. I can recite the lines in much the way a tent revival preacher can recite long passages of the Bible.

And yet I had never seen it on the big screen until this summer. In June, JAWS was unleashed on theaters once more to celebrate its 40th anniversary. Naturally, predictably, maybe inevitably, I was there. For the first time I saw the picture the way it was meant to be seen. On the big screen, baby, that shark’s mouth is just about wide enough to ride a bicycle into it.

I was watching in my usual tranced out state of dreamy pleasure… and then, suddenly, found myself half-lunging out of my seat, prickling with gooseflesh.

Now understand, I had only just finished reading The Skeleton Crew a few weeks before. The Lady of the Dunes is in many ways the centerpiece of the book, and unlike the other crimes Mrs. Halber explores, it remains infuriatingly unsolved. After finishing the book, I had spent a few minutes online, acquainting myself with the latest details… and studying the recreation of the Lady’s face.

And now, suddenly, impossibly, there she was… life-size and looking over her shoulder at me. There for a moment in a busy crowd scene, and then gone.

I settled back into my seat and after my pulse returned to normal, I was able to enjoy the film. By the time I got home I had mostly talked myself into believing I had fantasized the whole thing. Just to be sure, I queued up the scene in question my DVD and rewatched it, to see if my eye would find her once more. But no. At least on the 15″ screen of my MacBook Pro, at 11 at night, I was unable to spot her a second time.

But the thought wouldn’t leave me that my unconscious mind had, in fact, latched into something. In the weeks that followed I talked to several friends about what I had seen (or thought I saw). Finally, I broached the subject with an FBI agent I know socially. I expected a good bit of teasing. Instead, he raised an eyebrow and said, “You know, it might be worth going forward with your theory. There might be something in it. Odder ideas have cracked colder cases.”

With this modest encouragement, I watched the film yet again, going over the sequence in question on a big screen TV, frame-by-frame, with @VoodooDarling as an extra set of eyes.

@VoodooDarling saw her before I did.

Here’s that recreation of the Lady of the Dunes again.

And here’s a crowd scene that appears 54 minutes and 2 seconds into JAWS.

Is that her? On the left?

Isn’t it?

Let’s take a closer look.

Blue bandana. About 30. Fit, 145 pounds. I don’t believe those are Wrangler jeans, but a lady presumably owns more than one pair of jeans.

Is the Lady of the Dunes in JAWS?




I admit its pretty goddamn wild speculation. And yet…

And yet.

Let’s go a little further down this very dim, very narrow alley of fantastic conjecture.

It is impossible to say with complete precision when they filmed the “July 4th - Crowd Arrives” sequence, which is where this shot appears. But we know it was almost certainly shot in June, because they filmed all the “on island” scenes they could early. The water was too cold for swimming, and the malfunctioning shark wasn’t ready for the “at sea” material until late July.

We also know the Lady of the Dunes was alive in June and that the filming of JAWS was a big deal locally. Lots of folks turned up to try and get a peek at the stars, or the shark, or to see if they could sneak into a shot.

The geography works too. Martha’s Vineyard is a short hop from Provincetown. It would be no surprise at all if a girl summering on the Cape decided to take a few days to explore the Vineyard… especially with the added bait of celebrity to draw her in.

Of course this is far from being even vaguely conclusive. The girl in my isolated frame of JAWS wears a blue bandana, but what of it? In the next sequence, on the busy beach, there are half a dozen women wearing blue bandanas. It must’ve been the style. Furthermore, it sure would be nice if her hair was in a ponytail, looped with a holder that has gold thread in it. But her hair is loose. It would be great if those were Wrangler jeans, but my Google Fu suggests they aren’t.

Here’s all we really have: an extra who bears a startling resemblance to a girl who turned up dead, some coincidences of time and geography, and a writer of horror stories who has a “feeling.”

Not exactly case closed, huh?


I create fiction for a living and I am always my own first audience. Telling stories to myself (especially ghost stories) has been my great pleasure - and compulsion - since childhood.

I am under no illusions about the situation here. I was watching JAWS, under the influence of The Skeleton Crew, and my subconscious invented an exciting little story about the Lady of the Dunes on the spot. It was so good, I persuaded myself it might be true.

It IS a helluva what-if, isn’t it? What if the young murder victim no one has ever been able to identify has been seen by hundreds of millions of people in a beloved summer classic and they didn’t even know they were looking at her? What if the ghost of the Lady of the Dunes haunts JAWS?

I know: to believe an extra glimpsed in JAWS is the verysame woman killed outside of Provincetown is a leap into the extreme hypothetical. That said, before her death, this woman had a life, and some of that life was spent on the Cape during the summer of JAWS. The odds are long that the Lady of the Dunes appears in the picture… but maybe not unimaginably long.

I turn this possibility over to the greatest puzzle solving instrument humans have ever created: the Internet. Give JAWS another watch. Look for the Lady.

Did you spend the summer of 1974 on the Cape or on the Vineyard? Were you in JAWS? Who else was there, the day they captured you on camera? Who did you talk to between shots? What do you remember?

This woman does not have a name:

Does this one?