god this is an abomination

  • Lady in store with pug: He's so cute! He's always snorting and grunting :)
  • What I said: Awww!
  • What I thought: He's grunting and snorting because he has chronic breathing problems as a result of being the extremely inbred abomination consequence of man playing God.

I read in the paper that my brothers are being thrown from rooftops blindfolded with their hands tied behind their backs for violating sharia law. I heard the crowds stone these fallen men if they move after they hit the ground. I heard it’s in the name of God. I heard my pastor speak for God too, quoting scripture from his book. Words like abomination popped off my skin like hot grease as he went on to describe a lake of fire that God wanted me in. I heard on the news that the aftermath of a hate crime left piles of bodies on a dance floor this month. I heard the gunman feigned dead among all the people he killed. I heard the news say he was one of us. I was six years old when I heard my dad call our transgender waitress a faggot as he dragged me out a neighborhood diner saying we wouldn’t be served because she was dirty. That was the last afternoon I saw my father and the first time I heard that word, I think, although it wouldn’t shock me if it wasn’t. Many hate us and wish we didn’t exist. Many are annoyed by our wanting to be married like everyone else or use the correct restroom like everyone else. Many don’t see anything wrong with passing down the same old values that send thousands of kids into suicidal depression each year. So we say pride and we express love for who and what we are. Because who else will in earnest? I daydream on the idea that maybe all this barbarism and all these transgressions against ourselves is an equal and opposite reaction to something better happening in this world, some great swelling wave of openness and wakefulness out here. Reality by comparison looks grey, as in neither black nor white but also bleak. We are all God’s children, I heard. I left my siblings out of it and spoke with my maker directly and I think he sounds a lot like myself. If I being myself were more awesome at being detached from my own story in a way I being myself never could be. I wanna know what others hear, I’m scared to know but I wanna know what everyone hears when they talk to God. Do the insane hear the voice distorted? Do the indoctrinated hear another voice entirely?

Probably should have seen the signs .

So we’re playing a session in which we have to stop a cult from raising an ancient evil/demon/abomination god via gathering its pieces that were turned into various items. Naturally, because the story would have been lame without the cult getting the items, the final encounter was to be to stop them from completing the ritual. However, the party’s NG Bard actually went and hampered our attempts to do so, for reasons they wouldn’t share.
When the cult succeeds, and the God starts monologuing, the Bard interrupted him.

Bard: Wait! Wait! Waaaaaaiiiiit, you motherfucker! We challenge you to a rock off! Give us one chance to rock your socks off.

Barbarian OOC while the Wizard is laughing: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU LET THIS BASTARD GET SUMMONED JUST SO YOU COULD MAKE A TENACIOUS D REFERENCE?!

Bard (OOC): Hey, DM was practically asking for it when they said one of his body parts was made into a pick.

DM: a +4 CURSED HEAVY WAR PICK, not a guitar pick

Bard (OOC): don’t care, still effectively a Pick of Destiny.

  • <p> <b>school:</b> hey there buddy you have quite a bit of work to hand in tomorrow and it's already 9PM so you might wanna get started...?<p/><b>me:</b> <p/><b>school:</b> <p/><b>me:</b> <p/><b>school:</b> <p/><b>me:</b> <p/><b>me:</b> <p/><b>me:</b> <p/><b>me:</b> imma download every Sherlock scene with Moriarty in it and put them all together<p/><b>school:</b> OH M Y G O D D<p/></p>

One of several of Bill’s god forms. This one has no real connection to any earthen religion and is more of an in-between form, a transitionary phase that would only appear for a scant few second before man turns into massive monster. It’s easier to manifest than the big God form so it was also used as Bill’s power was slowly dwindling out of our world.

Yes his feet are backwards. That was a hallmark of the God Xolotl; backwards feet and a dog head. This lacks the dog head, but not the rear-facing feet. They swivel around for convenience.

His bones are black holes and his flesh is made of galaxies he’s absorbed, eaten and destroyed.

3

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Shit my boy friend has said while playing Overwatch: sentence starters
  1. “Second mini-me Reinhardt”
  2. “Fucking banana muncher”
  3. “You abomination to god.”
  4. “I hear Reaper, but I don’t see Reaper.”
  5. “He knows I have his number, and he is on my ass.”
  6. “ROBOISM”
  7. “That was a nice.”
  8. “Oh ye fucking hoe.”
  9. “Dungle”
  10. “If I had a Widowmaker, I would kill my self. With in reason.”
  11. “Onion grandma.”
  12. “Making my way down town.”
  13. “Its okay, your here in spirit.”
  14. “I all most feel kinda bad.”
  15. “We have a Reaper, how could we be the villains.”
  16. “Fuckin Shadow the hedge hog ass looking mother fucker.”
  17. “Fucking Genji, what does he think your doing.”
  18. “GENJI AM ABOUT TO TRANSCEND THIS FOOT UP YOUR ASS.”
  19. “Damn it Genji, what did I just say. You see this foot?”
  20. “Fucking Genji, you parasitic lamp worm.”
  21. “That shield is fucking gibberish.”
  22. “STOP FUCKING THREATENING ME.”
  23. “Never speak to me as Reaper.”
  24. “Hot topic, Spencer shopping trash.”
  25. “Every one’s name fucking sucks.”
  26. “Skrivins didn’t look fun to say, but then I fucking said it.”
  27. “There is our second tank, flying away at the speed of light.”
  28. “YOU SLUT.”
  29. “Its okay, am gonna kill it.”
  30. “Holy fucking shit, there is a Bastion and nine turrets.”
  31. “Yeah every one, kill Mercy.”
  32. “I kicked Reinhardt to death.”
  33. “I put my weird bent shoe right up his ass.”
  34. “He is ulting, but he is also fucking dead.”
  35. “This is a ballsy ass dwarf.”
  36. “The justice is raining.”
  37. “Are you guys dieing? I am on my way.”
  38. “Do you still have your ult? Because I am alive.”
  39. “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
  40. “I thought I was safe.”
  41. “Fucking god damn, jail bait Junkrat.”
  42. “Fucking bird bitch.”
  43. “Gotta skate fast and eat ass.”
  44. “Your a broken system.”
  45. “Yeah I know, I have been chucking balls at him.”
  46. “THE BALLS ON THAT GIRL, JESUS.”
  47. “I am finally at 40, Jesus fucking Christ I am back.”