god so this is what i did all day

Bear with me, this is a slow burn but it’s worth it, I promise.

So this happened a while back (god, 6 years ago…ew) , and honestly I still find it funny to this day. Though at the time it’s was kinda revolationary for me.

So I was 18, working at a beachside DoubleTree in Florida. I was a Jack of all trades at this fucking place. Officially I was hired for breakfast buffet and food runner. It entailed making sure the buffet is full, breaking it down after breakfast ended, and then running food to the pool that had been ordered. What I actually did? Both of those jobs, room service, banquets (like weddings and other catering events) and bartending training.

I lived about 45 minutes away and had to be at work by 5:30am to prep breakfast so… That’s already fun. So I get through breakfast and go to the poolside bar so, I’ll call her Leslie, so Leslie can continue training be inbetween running food orders out. I like Leslie. She’s in her late 30s and kinda just tired with life in general and her dry sense of humour really showed it.

So this day, I’m running food, when the catering manager (a 45+ y/o man BTW) decided to follow me around while I work, just gossiping. I don’t mind so much, I don’t participate but if nothing else it can be entertaining. So he’s rambling and I’m nodding, and then something he says catches my attention.
He starts going off about how I should be careful cause Leslie is a lesbian and so she does all day is hit on girls and get drunk.

So, drinking on the job is like… Super against the rules and I know she doesn’t so, of course, I immediately go to her and tell her what he’s been saying since it can LITERALLY get her fired. And, like a reasonable adult, she goes to HR.

A few hours later here comes the catering manager and he looks PISSED,
Asks “did you go tell her what I said?”
to which I respond, “Um yes? She’s my trainer and also my work friend and what you said could get her fired.”
And his next words blew my fucking mind. He says to me “Did you seriously tattle on me?”
Like, no? This isn’t 3rd grade. Its just called reporting misconduct now. Like? I just remember thinking, where the fuck are all the adults I was promised, I’m surrounded by large children.
It was that day that I realized adults are totally faking it.

After that frustrating conversation he decides to drop on me that I’ll need to work late that night at a banquet, a wedding to be specific. (mind you, I got there at 5:30am and the wedding starts at 6pm… Yaaaay…) but I can’t refuse so when the time comes I go get changed and find him again to get the details for this banquet and, with just the most despicable grin, he informs me that he was short because people “called outĺ abs that I would be catering an entire 80 guest wedding BY MYSELF. I am rendered LITERALLY speechless as he walks away.

I’m terrified, I’d worked a few banquets before but never alone. I wasn’t even just worried about doing poorly, I also didn’t want to ruin a wedding just because I pissed off my fucking boss. With nerves up to my ears, I go out to greet the wedding party to be immensely surprised.

So here’s the satisfying part.

They were awesome. It was a really sweet black family, half of which (the grooms side) had literally flown from Jamaica to attend. They all were so kind and excited. It was really contagious. They even made me dance with them at one point. I had a blast.

The wedding lasted about 3 hours and when it was all said and done, both sets of parents tipped me under the table on top of my automatic gratuity. One gave me $200 and the other gave me $300 and a bunch of the guests gave me smaller tips anywhere from $5-$50.

Once everyone left and I’m done cleaning up my catering manager comes back, all smug, and asks me how everything went. My response?

I pull out my wad of cash and start counting it in my head and with a grin and say, “I think it went well. If you’re ever short again I’d be glad to cover.” The look on his face was worth every extra minute of work that day.

He may have made me work a 15hr work day, but after adding up the pay from my hours worked, tips at the bar, the bonus for working a banquet, the automatic gratuity, under the table tips, AND OVERTIME… I made over 1.5 thousand dollars that night.

Best. Workday. Ever.

  • Winter: God, my back is so sore. I really shouldn't have-
  • Ironwood: Been fooling around with Qrow at work? No kidding.
  • Winter: ...no, I shouldn't have been carrying all those crates without assistance. I haven't even seen Qrow all day. Even if I did, I would... escort him off the premises rather than indulge him in any manner
  • Ironwood: Really? You haven't seen him?
  • Winter: No.
  • Ironwood: ...Then why did I hear him grunting from inside your office?
  • Winter: Wait, what did the grunts sound like?
  • Ironwood: Like he was in excruciating pain.
  • Winter: Oh, thank god. Don't worry, that's just my ringtone.

My mom loves telling people at parties just how ‘bright’ I am and how I’m always reading something, she does it all the time.

Mother. Stop. I’m reading gay fanfiction.

So, okay, there was this day, at this party, and she did it again but this time she took my phone off of my hands to show them (It was in english, not native, so no one knew what I was reading) and I SWEAR TO GOD, one of them suddenly had this look of recognition on her face and she fucking winked at me.

And that’s the story of how my mom’s friend knows I ship Sterek.

Dating Tate Would Include...

(Post Death)

  • Meeting in the murder house. That should be the basis of this whole thing. Be careful.
  • He would literally be like a pet waiting for you to get home every day.
  • “You’re home! I waited for you. What did you do today? Are you hungry? I made you some food…”
  • Lots of cuddling
  • Tate is the little spoon. Practically always
  • Music listening.
  • “Here, listen to this. None of that new shit.” “Oh my god, you are an old man, Tate.”
  • Him literally just sitting around watching you as you go about your day, doing work, chores. etc.
  • He is an actual cat?? (including the evil personality)
  • Very insecure so you’d have to constantly reassure him he’s amazing
  • Dirty talk all the time
  • Sex everywhere
  • Halloween becomes the only holiday you care about. Going to movies, places, traveling to places that you can go and come home in one day.
  • He’s kinda overbearing.
  • Super protective, even the mailman is kinda freaked out to talk to you tbh
  • “Tate, leave him alone.” “What?” [cue shit eating grin]
  • Sarcastic jokes, teasing constantly just to get a reaction out of you
  • So much sex
  • Dealing with Tate’s split personality
  • Being afraid of who he is, but standing up to him. This makes him snap out of it but he feels guilty every time.
  • Lots of apologizing.
  • Makeup sex.
  • Making love.
  • Keeping each other sane while living with the other ghosts
  • Tate introducing you to Nora
  • Nora thinking of you as the daughter she never had
  • Tate calming you down if the other ghosts make you start to question yourself and your morality
  • Hiding from everyone else together, listening to each other’s heartbeats
  • Knowing you’re complete with each other
  • Sorry, but….. Tate doesn’t age…. He tries to kill you so that you’ll be together forever. Make with that what you will.

What Victor did to Raphael was so wrong and so unforgivable in my eyes. Did you see how marked up Raphs face was?? Magnus gets punishment for throwing Raj up against the wall but Victor can torture downworlders all he pleases in the comfort of the institute?? I learn every episode how fucked up the clave is and if this was really punishment for Magnus too because he knows Magnus loves Raphael I swear to god, like??? Why is this allowed? I hope to god the show is planning on doing something with this fucked up shit bc it’s so so wrong and I can’t stand to watch it. 

2Ps when the world ends

2p!America: “Now I know what you’re all thinking…and no, this isn’t my fault.”

2p!Canada: Sleeps through the whole thing

2p!England: Constant screaming

2p!France: “Finally”

2p!Russia: Still goes about his day as normal

2p!China: “Fucking sickk” vlogs the entire event


2p!Germany: “Damn there was so much more stupid shit I wanted to do”

2p!Japan: plays music to block it all out


2p!Prussia: crying into his cereal

2p!Austria: “I told you all this would happen. Did you listen to me? No.”

I don’t know who’s behind kookmin9795 on twitter (if you’re not a follower yet, you should go follow), but it is a really sharp shipper account, you guys! (The owner is Korean.)

Look at this! This gives me so much feels just looking at this! 😭😭😭

We could be wrong and that JK didn’t really check his paper when JM revealed his team, but I’m pretty convinced that he did! Every single day, JK gives me more and more reasons to love him! I am seriously all for JK for JM! Please, God, let them have their happily ever after! What a shame for these two precious boys and their hearts to not end up together like they’re destined to! 😭😭😭


Okay can we fucking talk about the official Cassian Andor playlist because God fucking dammit! Like the majority of these are love songs! They are so fucking canon and I can’t even deal. What did we do to deserve this? I feel like I’ve been born again! My skin is clearer, my hair looks better, and I am constantly crying. And it’s all Cassian Andor and Jyn Erso’s fault. So anyway, I’m going to spend the remainder of the day listening to this and periodically sobbing.

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Originally posted by buffymaximoff

A huge misunderstanding

A week ago I came out of the walk in while doing cold prep and I had to walk by the manager office, where our MIC and GM were talking.
I overheard our MIC say “Jordans an asshole!” And I paused and just stared at her because.. my name is Jordan. What did I do.

But she looked over and saw me and got all flustered saying “No no, our old manager Jordan. He quit a couple months before we hired you. You’re not an asshole, oh my god I’m sorry if you thought it was about you.”

I was so shocked omg but I understood lmao
They proceeded to tell me about how shitty ex-Manager-Jordan was. He was awful. Always making his employees feel like shit, telling them they’re not good enough at their jobs and just being an overall dick. A horrible guy.

Well, a couple days ago I was opening shift and was bringing cups up to the front and I’m walking by the food prep lines and the same manager was talking to a coworker and she said “Jordan was such a dick. I hate him.” And I walked by and jokingly said “Thank you.” Bc I knew she didn’t mean me
But she freaked out apologizing bc what are the odds of me overhearing her talk shit about Jordan AGAIN like lmao

Thinking of my teen years, starting from the age of 13 up till now, 19, my parents did a great job at raising me as a phenomenal liar. Lying became so habitual and natural that I genuinely surprise myself when I tell them the truth. The more they tried to control the less they knew. If only they knew. Because of all the pressure, unreasonable prohibitions and permissions I couldn’t get for no reason- I’ve been lying and lying for 7 years. It is so ironic that most of the time they actually have no idea where I am or who I am with. Why did it have to be this way?

If I ever have kid some day, I don’t know how our relationship will be, I don’t know what he/she will grow up to be but I swear to God, my kid won’t feel the need to constantly lie to me. One thing I am sure about my potential parenthood.

I try not to ask God “why?” There are better questions. Instead, I like to ask Him “what do you want me to know?” But sometimes, when I can feel myself starting to sink in the quicksand of why, I figure it’s better just to ask Him. I know I’ll never come close to understanding all His mysteries and purposes, but I’ve found He’s very willing to explain things to me. He doesn’t always give an answer to why, but the other day, when I found myself asking, He did. 

Why did you give me something so good, only to take it away?

“I did it so you could be free,” He tells me. 

There’s no freedom in wanting something so badly that you look everywhere for it. It’s misery. It’s bondage. It takes up too much time of your time and energy; it keeps you from seeing people as you were meant to see them.

Now I’ve known good, and found it was the one thing that was needed to take away my desire for all else. It is in wanting one thing I cannot have that I have freedom from wanting what I think I can find. Had this never happened, I would still be striving. The burden was heavy. I am perhaps sadder now than I would have been, but I am free. 

“Now you are light.”

askinghanji  asked:

Oh God. When did all asks become public ;; I've been gone so long. Anyways back to the actual question- (Thinking modern here) If Hanji were to go for a science related degree, what kind would it be? I've had a few theories, but none seem to fit to me, and would she ever think of being a vet? That's all! I hope you have a nice day!!

I deleted the old asks I still had in my inbox to get over the eternal shame of procrastination. Also I think Hanji would make a great doctor of the classic sciences, especially physics and biology. But I could also see Hanji as a zoologist or anthropologist. I think being a ‘simple’ vet wouldn’t fir Hanji. Maybe if it’s out in the wild or in a huge wildlife Park.

i never actually watched the xena pilot when i started earlier this year, so i did that and. oh my god. gabs. babe. you are so hilariously self important i love you so much. 


honey they’ve already got all of you. you’re officially kidnapped! but still! she’s like no! take me! i’m easily worth all of these people!!!

i love it so much. she’s so confident that this warlord is gonna be like, yeah actually you’re right i’ve already captured all of you but you’re tiny and mouthy and have the ego of someone far more accomplished so i guess i’ll just keep you around and let the others go????

gabs babe i love you so much please tell me how you thought this was gonna go

Lately, I’ve had this lump in my throat; I’m choking back my own tears because I guess this is my fault. What’s the point in crying or feeling sorry for myself if I apparently did something so horrible that you can walk right out of my life, and right past me as if we’re strangers. Well, I guess that’s all we are now; strangers. Dear fucking god, does that break my heart. Who knew that friends, not lovers, could break your heart? Who knew that you could give someone your all and always be there for them, but one day they wake up and decide they don’t need you anymore; regardless if you need them or not. They drop you like you’re nothing. And nothing - wow, does that word impact us more than we ever realize. Nothing; I’m not even sure how to define that word, but I mean fucking nothing to you. Why the fuck does that mean everything to me?
—  fucking nothing // humanaffliction

Dai, cousins!

I was taking pictures of this for a completely unrelated reasons and thought, “Hey, wouldn’t it be neat to learn how we all experienced these wonderful stories for the first time?”

I am actually a second-generation Young Wizards fan. My mom has had this omnibus on her bookshelf since I was old enough to remember. This was how I first experienced the stories that have come to mean so much to me and oh my god, guys, nita isn’t even the redhead what were these artists DOING

SO! What about you, cousins? How did you first experience Young Wizards? Which book covers are yours, and when and how did it happen to you?

Sherlolly mini fanfiction

John: *in the cab after the events of Sherrinford* So, Molly?

Sherlock: *pretending to not hear him* Huh?

John: Molly. What will you say to her, what happened?

Sherlock: *looking at John* The truth.

John: *starting slowly, enjoy the moment of teasing* That you…

Sherlock: *annoyed* For Gods sake! You were there too, saw all of it, i’ve always told you, that you see but never observe…

John: Sherlock, I find very difficult to read your mind these days. Did you meant, what you said?

Sherlock: *with a wild smile* I did. *very low, so John couldn’t hear it* I love her.

so since this hell year is officially (thank god) coming to a close, i thought i would share some love to these wonderful people! 2016 was a lot of things, wonderful was not one of them, but wonderful things did come from it. i hope the last few days of 2016 are peaceful for all of you, and that you are able to enjoy them for what they are. 2017, come forth. 

mutuals are bolded

ok first i gotta give my lovely cardamothers a shout out because i love you guys so much and i can’t believe there ever was a time when i didn’t have you

@evakskam i love tereza so much and she’s really really pretty and she gets crazy anons all the time and idk how she deals with them but honestly kudos to you for doing so @deerjily @nooraskam i didn’t know which one to tag so i just did both BUT I LOVE DASHA she’s the greatest ok if you’re feeling down she’s always there to cheer you up and talk about books and she is the sweetest ily @sanna-bakkoush wikipedia in a human form and the loveliest of them all also great text posts???? ily @daixyridley my wife, clone and au buddy i love you a lot and i hate you very much too and your theme is nice and memes??? so many memes dude you’ve ruined me with those memes of yours maja but i’m still grateful + nissevors på nissen @mnyardjsten MY WRITING BUDDY well sort of anyways who is to say??? elise is constantly in typo hell and i would feel sorry for her but her typos have honestly given me some of the greatest laughs i’ve ever had and i love elise very very much. elise&a rise @glitteryteaworld i love hannah’s face and her hair and just hannah in general (but really she’s so pretty can you believe???) and it wouldn’t be the same without you and i love getting snapchats from you ngl @vangoghandsleep tebuge!!! regine is lovely and she has really great hair and she deserves so much!!! #reginedeservesbetter also: fredagspizza på slottet med hellstrøm og kong harald @faenies OUR WINE MOTHER!! you’re always so done with us and i feel for you i truly do. i love you and you deserve all the good the world has to offer!! thank you for sticking with us

i know there are more in the gc but you’re not active and i don’t think you follow me but i’m truly truly sorry!!!!!

 @kezaddict ok listen i know you hate me because i go to bed late and bug you with rambles about Someone and i know you’d rather not BUT I GOTTA dude i love you a lot and man is it fun to spam your snapchat with close-ups of my cat

@alecsagitta I LOVE LORI SO MUCH god you are so pretty and i love your hair??? i love talking to you and you always make me feel very included and just yes i appreciate you!!

a - e

@alec-imstraight-lightwood @alecmagnu @alishawainnwright @amorverus @archeryalec @auclizzy @bi-magnus @bisexualfairchild @casserolenannerhead @claryfightwood @clarygaywood @claryisgay @clarysfray @clizzytxt @daddarioshum @deerestalec @doddario @ezekielfiguer 

f - k

@fraywoodbane @furiousizzy @gayisabellelightwood @gurueskild @harry-shum @harrysbumjr @hcrryshumjr @highwarlockkareena @hohodaddario @hollingsjerk @hollingsworthies @hoteldumorts @hufflepufflightwood @izlitwood @izzybabewoods @jemsdrug @jonnor-af @katmcnamara 

k - z

@latinalightwood @lesbianfray @lewisimon @lukegarrowayisamaincharacter @lukegarrwoay @mattlightwood @mazikkeen @memegnusbane @muazanas @mylenecruz @paigesalex @princemagnusbane @quitemagicalbane @seancamerons @simonlewlove @skamda @softbanes @su-pectrum @umrilaya @unhelpfulbee @witchlights @zayahankypanky​

i know for sure that i forgot someone, and for that i am truly truly sorry, but just know that i love and appreciate all of you!!

Warm (Drabble)

Pairing: Scott Summers x Reader
Prompt: Scott is in need of cuddles, and gentle reminders of love, especially on today. 
Word Count: 795 Words
Warning: Fluff, over used tropes lmao, angst
A/N: When no one writes for your laser face and you gotta lmao. Enjoy the fic no one asked for and some small spoon Scooter, it’s what I live for.
Tagging: @nerdygoateellama ,

((gif not mine, credit to owner))

                Scott sighed heavily against his pillow, face buried in the softness; trying to catch your scent. God when did I become so dependent on you? He wondered, but not like he cared. He just really wanted to hold you, well have you hold him. Today was a bad day, today was too much and Scott just needed to forget it all. He took of his glasses, rubbing his hands over his face before slipping out of bed. He ignored the time, quickly heading to his door. The wooden door groaned as he pushed it open. “Shut up.” He muttered to the door, taking a moment to laugh at himself for swearing at an intimate object, before walking through. Scott kicked the door behind, turning around, trying to quickly catch it before it slammed.

                “No, no, no, shit.” He muttered as the door smacked against the frame. The sound reverberating through the dark hallway. Scott ran his fingers threw his hair, expecting students to clamber out of their beds to see what was happening, but only Kurt opened his door from across the hall. “You okay?” Kurt sleepily asked, slumping against his door frame. “Uh yeah fine, thanks.” Scott replied flatly while Kurt let out a laugh. “Going to see Y/n, yes?” Scott nodded sheepishly as Kurt closed his door, muttering a ‘don’t be loud’ while doing so. Scott wasn’t exactly sure what Kurt was referring to, but Scott knew he wouldn’t be slamming anymore doors, that’s for sure.

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