god right now i can't get out of bed

  • [Pansy and Daphne are in Transfiguration. Daph is dozing off.]
  • McGonagall: [lecturing]
  • Pansy [to Daphne]: Hey, pay attention. McGonagall is one of the foremost Transfiguration professors in the country.
  • McGonagall: [still talking but is intrrupted]
  • [Theo enters]
  • Theo: Excuse me, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
  • McGonagall: I'm right in the middle of a class, young man.
  • Theo: I know, I'm sorry, I just -- [Runs up to stand by Pansy's desk.] Pans, you can't just walk out like that. Not after everything we've been through. You just left. I was still in bed. I mean what is that all about?
  • McGonagall: Ok, you need to do this later.
  • Theo: I can't do this later. Pansy I love you. I love you, dammit! How many times to I have to tell you? God! Just talk to me.
  • McGonagall: Ok, out right now! Out! Just get -
  • [Blaise enters.]
  • Blaise: Theo! What are you doing, man?
  • Theo: Get the hell out of here!
  • Blaise: She's with me now. I told you that. Let it go.
  • Theo: I will not let it go! Everything was fine until you came along!
  • Blaise: Oh, don't blame me because you couldn't keep her.
  • Theo: I swear to god, I'm gonna kill you!
  • Blaise: Oh, I'd love to see you try.
  • [Theo lungs at Blaise. Boys begin fighting]
  • McGonagall: Stop it! Stop it right now! Cormac, get Hagrid! It's not the time or the place for this. Break it up! Gentlemen! You are losing control! You are in a classroom.
  • [A piercing police whistle blows. Into the classroom walks Draco, dressed in a British bobby uniform.]
  • Draco: All right, that's enough. Break it up, you two. Pansy Parkinson, you should be ashamed of yourself! Toying with these boys like this. They used to have pride. They used to have dignity. They used to have balls. Damn it, Parkinson! Give them back their balls.
  • <p> <b>Sirius:</b> okay Harry, because you're so little, I'm going to run the plan by you again<p/><b>Sirius:</b> when Remus gets home, you start crying: that'll lure him into your bedroom<p/><b>Sirius:</b> except the doorway is covered in clingwrap that's covered in vaseline<p/><b>Sirius:</b> silly man'll walk right into it<p/><b>Sirius:</b> I'm so smart I think of the best pranks ever<p/><b>Sirius:</b> I'm like the whole package<p/><b>Sirius:</b> I'm smart and I'm sexy<p/><b>Sirius:</b> I could've gotten anybody into the sack with me<p/><b>Sirius:</b> do you know how long it took me to ask Remus out though?<p/><b>Sirius:</b> twas the best part of three years, mate<p/><b>Sirius:</b> imagine all the people I could've had sex with instead!<p/><b>Sirius:</b> still I managed to get Uncle Moony into bed with me<p/><b>Sirius:</b> #life goal achieved<p/><b>Sirius:</b> We're married now, so I'm taken, which means I can't hit on everybody otherwise Remus gets jealous<p/><b>Sirius:</b> and I'm way better looking so why wouldn't he be jealous?<p/><b>Sirius:</b> but I love him so I guess we all have to make changes for the people we love, right, Harry?<p/><b>Harry:</b> *sneezes*<p/><b>Sirius:</b> *sighs* I'm god's gift, aren't I?<p/><b>Remus:</b> more like Satan's reject, babe<p/><b>Sirius:</b> <p/><b>Sirius:</b> <p/><b>Sirius:</b> daMN IT HAZ WE'RE ON THE SAME TEAM HERE COULDN'T YOU HAVE WARNED ME SEE THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T DO FUN SHIT TOGETHER<p/></p>

winewhiskeybloodandchocolate  asked:

Claquesous pulled on his hair, pacing circles around Ryan. His breathing was fast, and it was clear he was agitated. He grabbed his lover roughly by the arm and pulled him close. "Get on the bed. Get on the bed right fucking now! I swear to god, I'm gonna beat your ass until you can't fucking sit again!" he snarled, slapping the man across the face and shoving him toward the bed, immediately reaching for his belt. Ryan had crossed the line this time, and 'Sous was going to deal with it.

Ryan cried out unintentionally at the sharp pulls to his hair, being to caught off guard by the way Claquesous was acting to really try and think of a way to get out of this. The other was moving so fast that he couldn’t keep up, leaving him to stumble along after being pulled and shoved on the bed, his eyes watered as he was slapped and he knew before even touching it that it’d be sore and there’d most likely be a bruise left behind. Ryan was quick to try and adjust himself facing Claquesous, attempted to crawl backwards on the bed away from him at the sound of the belt being pulled out. “‘Sous I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’ve done so please just calm down.” He choked out, holding his hands out in order to try and block the hits.