god reita

2

the GazettE as greek gods - 

Ares (/ˈɛəriːz/; Ancient Greek: Ἄρης [árɛːs]) is the Greek god of war. He is one of the Twelve Olympians, and the son of Zeus and Hera. In Greek literature, he often represents the physical or violent and untamed aspect of war, in contrast to his sister the armored Athena, whose functions as a goddess of intelligence include military strategy and generalship.

do you remember this photo? WELL ….as you can see Reita and Ruki are wearing THE SAME NECKLACE (at the same time since the 2 pics has been taken on the same day). This is a bit sospicious, isn’t it? But wait a minute.

These two are Nancy and Sid Vicious from Sex Pistols (Yes Reita and Ruki ‘’copied’’ the necklace from him)…..B U T most important—> Nancy and Sid were wearing the same necklace because they were a COUPLE 

A  C O U P L E

Do you understand? the same necklace!!!!! 

Nancy + Sid wore the same necklace because they were a couple

Reita and Ruki were wearing the same necklace. GOT IT ???? 

Ruki and Reita discussing eyeball licking

yep

so ruki read this one and before he began reading it, he and rei couldn’t figure out how to read the word “iris.” rei is like “i think it’s kousai” and ruki is like ehhh idk….eventually rei looks it up and it is in fact “kousai”

rei like “SEE i told u smh” and ruki’s like “…that was dumb luck”

they read this one as a scary story so there’s creepy bgm and ruki’s voice has an echo effect on it

Ruki: “Reita-san, Ruki-san. It’s very hot and humid, I hope you guys aren’t melting.”

(Reita snorts in background)

Ruki: “My ‘first time’ story is, a few years ago I licked someone’s iris – brackets – the part with the pupil.”

Reita: Yes.

Ruki: “Apparently if you fli– …if you fl– (trying not to laugh) if you flick your tongue on it it feels good, and I was pre….pre–(laughing)” (*there was some kind of typo here)

(Reita has been laughing in bg this whole time)

Ruki: “Pressured into doing it. I didn’t really want to do it because it freaked me out, but when I actually did it, it had a sweet taste and I was really surprised.”

Reita: Yes.

Ruki: “Have you two ever licked an eye before? Reita, if you haven’t, you should try it and let me know what you think!”

Reita: Okay. (nervous laughter)

Ruki: Bruh I just shed a tear.

Reita: Okay wait a second. (takes paper) So someone…told her to do it.

Ruki: Yeah.

Reita: They were like, hey lick my iris.

Ruki: Yeah.

Reita: And then she did it.

Ruki: Yeah.

Reita: …And it was kinda sweet.

Ruki: Yeah.

Reita: ……..Can I –

Ruki: (closes eyes) I knew you were gonna say that smh  

Reita: Open ur eyes

Ruki: (He either said ‘shinisou’ [I’m gonna die] or ‘shimisou’ [somethings gonna ooze out idk??????])

Reita: (laughing at own joke what else is new) …Damn so eye-licking kink is a real thing eh

Ruki: Yeah well I mean I’m not really surprised…it’s sweet though?

Reita: Is this a common fetish?

Ruki: Um obviously not

(both laugh)

Ruki: But like…the other person wanted her to do it, right? I wonder how she felt though…like at the end she says ‘it tastes pretty sweet’ but…even that kinda seems like [she wasn’t down]

Reita: Yeahh it’s kinda…

OH MY GOD I FUCKING HATE REITA OK SO HE SAYS

Reita: Doesn’t it kinda…smell like murder?

And my ass is sitting here and listening to it over and over again like WTF DOES THIS MEAN AM I MISSING SOMETHING and then

Ruki: Ah– ……..

(Reita laughs nervously)

(very long pause)

Reita: Shall we play a song?

Ruki: What? I thought you were good at this.

Reita: Ye I’m a natural

Ruki: Mhmm (showing Rei how it’s done now) We were having a pretty lit conversation just now…I got an equally lit song for u

Reita: (laughing ) O please

Ruki: This is like around the time you get tired right

Reita: Oh yeah cause it would be after two now right

Ruki: Yeah. Well I’ve listened to all the shows so far…and I gotta say some of you don’t play very fitting songs for the mood.

Reita: Oh, like songs that make you tired?

Ruki: Yeah or like they’re too noisy…but this one…this one is just right

Reita: Oh really?

Ruki: Yes

Reita: Oh I’d love to hear it

Ruki: Ok here it is… “Murder” by ROSSO

Like this idiot was trying to work the name of the song into the conversation and it made no fucking sense

And Ruki thinks the way he introduced it is better like

I quit the fandom

Every single reituki fanfic
  • Ruki: runs out of house from the family that disowned him in his fashionable designer pants
  • Reita: drives out from yakuza headquarters with the blood from his former victims
  • Ruki: pulls the hem of his t shirt down innocently as he smiles innocently with innocent eyes as he reaches the middle of a flower field
  • Reita: throws his motorbike to the ground in the middle of the field and runs manly against the smaller man grabbing him very manly and kissing him in a manly manner
  • Both: yells gay out on the top of their lungs
Rajigaze Oct 14

Reita: Okay, let’s get right into the mail then.

Ruki: Okay.

Reita: Okay… “Ring-name, Abe-chan.”

Ruki: Op!

Reita: “I am Abe-chan, 46, twice-divorced, enjoying the single life. I’m going to learn the Buddhist scriptures by the end of this year, and become a priest next spring.”

(Ruki dying in background)

Reita: “I’m gonna achieve enlightenment!” …Oh, Abe-chan…

(Ruki trying to catch breath)

(Ruki is an actual child)

Reita: Abe-chan two weeks in a row.

(Both laughing oh my god) 

Reita: Nah…I’m just fuckin with you. I just wanted to read it again.

(They’re still laughing)

Reita: I think I wanna start with this every week. 

Ruki: Abe-chan…

Reita: Okay, “Ring-name, Tomochin-san.”

Ruki: (uninterested) Yep.

Reita: “Reita-san, Ruki-san, good evening.”

Ruki: Good evening. 

Reita: “I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost a year, but we haven’t held hands yet.”

Ruki: Mhm. 

Reita: In brackets, “But we’ve done other stuff, lol.”

Ruki: ….Mhm.

Reita: (laughing) “I want to walk holding hands with him, but he’s never said anything, and I’m too shy to say something. My goal is to hold hands with him before we reach one year of being together. Isn’t it kinda weird for people who are dating to not hold hands? Are you guys the type to wanna hold hands [with your girlfriend]?” 

Ruki: I just got an idea while listening to this…we should make a segment called “My Dark Side.” 

Reita: Oh, well said.

Ruki: Abe-chan would be on there.

(both laughing I fucking hate them) 

Reita: So every week, we would prepare this “My Dark Side” segment…and what kind of content would that be? 

Ruki: The content would be…us…assessing the depth of people’s dark side – HU-HU, HU-HU – and awarding them.

Reita: (laughing) Like, they get a prize for being deep? 

Ruki: Yes

(Reita laughs)

Ruki: So, people like Abe-chan…

Reita: He would get a lot.

Ruki: Yes – oh, do we give them points?!

(both laugh)

Reita: Let’s do it, the “My Dark Side” segment…we’ll do it every week, so send in your…hmm, dark episodes, or personalities…but watch people stop sending them in when we’re actually asking for them. 

Ruki: Yeah.

(both laughs)

Reita: Anyway, this person’s question…

Ruki: I don’t get it.

Reita: They’re asking if it’s weird to have dated someone for a year and not hold hands. 

Ruki: But they are doing stuff.

Reita: They are, but…I wonder if they’re just hooking up, or if they actually go out together regularly and are just not holding hands.

Ruki: Hmm…It’s weird, no?

Reita: Yeah, a little…

Ruki: It’s deep.

Reita: I wonder if the guy even thinks they’re dating.

Ruki: Omg stop. 

(both laugh)

Ruki: But like, isn’t holding hands the first step? 

Reita: …Yeah, it is. Like, when you’re walking down the street, don’t you just naturally…I mean, even we hold hands when we walk. 

Ruki: Yeah…wait what? 

Reita: What?

(both burst out laughing)

Ruki: I mean, I guess everyone’s different, but…if you’re doing stuff and you don’t hold hands…I think it’s kind of weird, no? 

Reita: How would Furuhata-san solve this? (*some detective from an old TV show idek)

Ruki: EHHH THAT’S A TOUGH ONE ~ (*maybe he’s impersonating the detective I’m so confused rn what’s going on) 

(both laugh)

Reita: Okay, sorry…so what does she mean by “the type to want to hold hands?” Like you make a point to hold their hand?

Ruki: Are you that type?

Reita: I’m just saying she asked if we are. Like, this girl probably wants to, but–

Ruki: But don’t you just naturally hold hands? 

Reita: Well, I think so, but…

Ruki: Don’t you hold hands when you’re walking [with someone]?

Reita: I think so.

Ruki: But I guess some people just [don’t want to.]

Reita: Like, tough kinda guys who are like “ima follow u from behind?”

Ruki: Ohh, you’re talking about the guy?

Reita: Yeah.

Ruki: But if the girl came up and took your hand –

Reita: Aw, that would be cute. 

Ruki: Right?

(both laugh)

Reita: “Right?” (laughs) 

Ruki: I wonder what it is…

Reita: Maybe he’s too shy to hold her hand in front of people. But I bet if she took his hand, he’d actually be happy. 

Ruki: Ah, that would be nice. But this person doesn’t seem like she would do that. 

Reita: Hmm…

Ruki: Like she said, she’s still too shy to say anything. 

Reita: Yeah…

Ruki: And he won’t say anything either…

Reita: Ah…

Ruki: This isn’t really a “dark side” kinda thing, this…I don’t know what this is…

Reita: She should be listening to this with her boyfriend. 

Ruki: Uh…wouldn’t that get awkward?

Reita: (laughs) We’ve been saying shit like “dark side…”

Ruki: Like in the middle of the night while they’re eating dinner…

(Reita laughs)

Ruki: I wonder why [they won’t hold hands]…

Reita: I wonder what kind of relationship they have.

Ruki: Yeah, like the first time they met…they didn’t even hold hands?  

Reita: Yeah…

Ruki: …Why? That’s so weird…

Reita: Yeah, cause they do other stuff…it is weird…

Ruki: Yeah, the fact that they do other stuff makes it even weirder.

Reita: Yeah…so they hold things other than hands? 

Ruki: Hmm…what, other than hands!? They’re doing some illegal shit…

(Reita laughing)