the teeter-totter gods
of creation and destruction
always at odds and ends
never hover in perfect balance
never meet one another’s eyes
never work toward compromise
that’s why the gods crafted us
into such fickle things
but embodied with the
and work together.
you’re five five and you’re running around making mud pies in your backyard with your best friend Jesus five and your mother reads you story after story before bed Jesus cuddles up next to you with his arms behind his head five and you don’t know the feeling of sadness or loneliness so that smile stretching wide is genuine instead five six seven eight nine
you’re 25 25 and you’re running around working 40 hours a week travel time plus the hour you eat plus chores plus bills plus you’re exhausted 25 and your mother is only a phone call away but she’s busy and you’re busy and you haven’t spoken in a week 25 and sadness and loneliness are no longer knocking on your door they’ve clawed their way into your skin and manifest themselves inside you they’re a part of you and it’s dark and the thoughts in your head won’t leave and you scream and you cry and you forget you forget about your friend your best friend from when you were five and you’re f a l l i n g
but He’s still there He always was He was simply waiting for you to meet Him halfway
but now you’re falling and He’s worried waiting watching
and you’re worried grasping gasping
you think you’re done you’re drowning in sadness and loneliness and anxiety and depression and PTSD but you’ve still got one good fight left in you
I know You’re good.
I know You’re strong.
I know You’re holy.
I know You’re Love itself.
Speak my heart back to life.
I am Yours.
You called me upon the waters.
You rescued me from the flames.
I am Yours.
icarus watches the sun. gauges how close he’s getting, feels the heat on his back, the wax melting over his skin. icarus knows the exact moment his wings fail him.
achilles forgets about his weakness. he is a god, cutting his way through the battlefield, armor soaked in blood but none of it’s his own. he has no mercy, no lines he wouldn’t cross. he doesn’t even know he’s dead until his sword stops swinging.
hercules is tricked, wakes up to two slaughtered children and a dead wife. he is filled with rage, with red eyes and swimming vision. after he completes his tasks he toasts his victories with a goblet of ichor, the god’s blood. he’s dead before he puts his cup down.
you’d think after thousands of years, we would’ve learned from their mistakes. you’d think after thousands of years, we’d stop acting like it isn’t our own fault when our hearts stop beating.
the truth about your heroes isn’t always worth looking at– lily rain
sometimes your heart will hurt. sometimes your smile will ache. sometimes your light will dim. sometimes your spirit will break. sometimes your entire world will come crashing down with no warning, and no signs.. but no matter how destroyed you feel - you have to be willing to dig deep inside of yourself to find some ambition to get you back right. you have to look out for you. you have to let go. you have to place your focus primarily on YOU. nothing about losing what’s familiar feels good.. but uncomfortable places can be beautiful. growth is beautiful. you are beautiful. you shouldn’t have to wait around and pray for someone to love you. you should love you. you should let go - because nothing worth holding onto will ever destroy you. and holding on is destroying you. trying to love someone into loving you - is destroying you. let go because you have to get a hold of you. you have to retrace your steps and figure out where you let YOU go. you have to take time to yourself to reflect on when and where you lost yourself. you have to let go of what no longer is - and accept what may have never been.. then you have to pick yourself back up. you have to release any negativity clouding your mind and you have to rid yourself of hopeful feelings. cleanse your soul. listen to your intuition. learn yourself. let go of any bad habits you’ve picked up along your journey. and start over. no matter how bad or how much it hurts.. let go and start over. holding on is destroying you.