god of all chickens

10

b.a.p and

b.a.p + favorite dance moves

bonus:

Prompts List

List of prompts that can be requested (w/ or w/o a requested person/character) - [most of these are prompts I found on pinterest in the writing prompts tag - will be adding prompts continuously] - Also, when requesting please take this into consideration: https://fictionpants.tumblr.com/post/167397538527/just-a-quick-note-about-requests

1. “I apologise in advance for the inconvenience my murder is going to have on your life.”

2. “I hate you.”
“Why? I’m lovely.”

3. “Murder wasn’t on today’s agenda.”
“It’s not on anyone’s.”
“No, it’s on mine, just not until next Thursday.”

4. “Hold on, you died.”
“Yeah, well it didn’t stick.”

5. “This is my life now. I have climbed this hill and now I will die upon it.”
“Shut up. We’ve only been hiking for twenty minutes.”

6. “She’s crying, what do I do?”
“Go comfort her.”
“How do I do that?”
“Start with hugs.”
“With what?”

7. “What’s our exit strategy?”
“Our what?”
“Oh my god, we’re all going to die.”

8. “I’m going to need chicken blood, salt, five candles, and a bottle of vodka.” “Vodka? For the spell?”
“No, that’s just to make me feel better about ripping a hole in the universe.”

9. “Are you clinically insane or incredibly annoying?”
“I don’t know, probably both.”

10. “I saved your lives.”
“How? By stealing our freedom? Our minds? Our identity?”

11. “It takes a very special kind of idiot to pull off what you just did.”

12. “I’m getting really tired of pretending I’m not evil.”

13. “Did you just agree with me?”
“Oh I wish I could take-”
“Nope! You said it! No take-backs!”

14. “It’s a long story.”
“You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I have time.”

15. “I regret a lot of things. Having this conversation tops the list.”

16. “I had a thought.”
“Oh no.”
“I swear it’s a good one this time!’

17. “FBI, open the door!”
“No. It’s cooler when you break in.”

18. “Do you think they remember you?”
“I sure hope not after what I did the last time I was here.”
“What did you do?”
“You’ll find out.”

19. “You look…”
“Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”

20. “You scared me!”
“Well, I am naturally terrifying.”

21. “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

22. “I’d take a bullet for you, you know that.”
“You’re immortal, and I’m going to kill you if you keep saying that.”

23. “You really have no clue who I am?”
“You’d think the confused looks and blank stare would have answered that for you.”

24. “I am way too sober for this.”

25. “You don’t strike me as a professional criminal.”
“That’s what makes me so good at it.”

26. “I don’t think of you as a protector. More like a distraction.”

27. “We have five people trying to kill us right now, what are we supposed to do?”
“Actually, it’s more like eight.”
“Oh, sorry I wasn’t specific enough!”

28. “If you could even comprehend where I’ve come from, you would be terrified of me.”

29. “I saved your life!”
“You pushed me off a building.”

30. “You know we’re not all born with the ability to throw fireballs, right?”

31. “How do we keep getting into these situations?”
“Eleven years of friendship and I still don’t know.”

32. “Did you hear that scream?”
“Yes, I’m the one who screamed.”

33. “Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?”
“Yes.”
“What if I just break his nose a little?”

34. “You are remarkably well behaved tonight. What did you do?”

35. “You’re-you’re crushing my spleen.”
“You don’t even know where your spleen is.”

36. “I’m no detective, of course, but I think this dead body might not be alive anymore.”

37. “Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge.”
“Can I pick?”

38. “The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.”
“I almost died!”
“Ah yes, that was my fondest memory.”

39. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!”
“And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”

40. “Hey, I didn’t kill anyone today!”
“What do you want? A gold star?”

41. “I hate you.”
“Why? I’m lovely.”

42. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you think it would be if-”
“At least a twenty.”

43. “Literally everything about this is illegal.”

44. “Seven billion people in the world, and you’re overreacting because we killed one man.”
“But-”
“Seven. Billion. People. Now quit the complaining and drink your smoothie.”

45. “It’s not my birthday.”
“It’s definitely your birthday.”
“Give me a calendar. It’s not and I will prove it to – oh. Never mind. Happy birthday to me.”

46. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you want to kill me right now?”
“I’m hovering somewhere in the high thirties.”

47. “I can fix that.”
“I’m calling a professional.”
“I’m a professional.”
“A more professional, professional.”

48. “What’s the word for that infestation of tiny creatures over there?”
“Those are children. That’s a school.”

49. “I have a concern.”
“Just one?”
“No, but I didn’t think you’d let me speak my piece if I told you how many I actually have.”

50. “Why are you glaring at me?”
“I’m hoping you’ll spontaneously combust.”

51. “If we die, I’m going to spend the rest of our afterlife reminding you that this was all your fault.”
“That’s cool, I wouldn’t mind having company while being a ghost.”

52. “What are you so afraid of?”
“You.”

53. “What is that THING in your backpack?”
“It’s my new pet dragon.”
“Dragons aren’t real!”
“Then why is there one in my backpack?”

54. “I hate the sight of blood.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t kill for a living.”

55. “All that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes.”

56. “Want to see what kind of trouble we can get into?”
“Oh god, we’re going to die, aren’t we?”
“It’s a Tuesday, I know how to restrain myself.”
“You absolutely do not.”

57. “I don’t give a damn.”
“You give so many damns they’re visible from SPACE.”

58.  “It’ll be easy. You just have to seduce them.”
“You’re kidding, right? I’m about as seductive as a cabbage.”

59. “You’re not as evil as people think you are.”
“No. I’m much worse.”

60. “That’s a terrifyingly accurate drawing of us.”
“It’s almost like I’m good at what I do.”

61. “You have no power over me.”
“You sure about that?”

62. “This isn’t good.”
“How can you tell?”
“See how they’re slowly surrounding us? And they all have guns and knives and I think one guy is carrying a machete?”

63. “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?”
“Actually he’s right in front of you.”

64. “I’m not a thief. I’m just really good at acquiring things that aren’t mine.”

65. “I’m not completely human anymore. Remember that next time you want to punch me in the face.”

66. “Is that blood?”
“No?”
“That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.”

67. “I never stood a chance, did I?”
“That’s the sad part – you did once.”

68. “It’s okay, I’m here.”

69. “I’m not going to leave you.”

70. “Everything is okay.”

71. “I’m going to protect you.”

72. “I believe in you.”

73. “Do you feel guilty? Like, at all?”
“I don’t have time to feel guilty. And neither do you.”

74. “Stop that!”
“Stop what?”
“Doing that thing with your face when you’re happy. It’s making me nauseous.”

75. “What are you doing?”
“…Eating.”
“We’re being held hostage and you decide to raid the kitchen?”
“They didn’t say the fridge was off limits.”

76. “Is that a dead body?”
“Maybe?”
“It is. I can see it right in front of me.”
“I promise I’ll clean it up before dinner.”

77. “If we’re going to get out of here, we’re going to have to work together. After that, we can go back to killing each other.”
“Oh, fine.”

78. “That’s not funny.”
“I thought it was.”
“You don’t count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.”

79. “Do we need wine?”
“No, I need wine, you need to put your pants back on.”
“But life is so freeing without them.”
“Pants. On. Now.”

80. “Can you please go be stupid somewhere that’s away from me?”

81. “I feel like I’m being stabbed.”
“How do you even know what it feels like to be stabbed?”

82. “Will you be quiet?”
“I didn’t say anything!”
“Well stop thinking so loud.”

83. “Did you get my note?”
“Of course I got it. You taped it to my forehead while I was sleeping.”

84. “You’re a psychopath.”
“I prefer creative.”

85. “Why do people keep trying to put this blanket on me?”
“Because you’re in shock.”
“That doesn’t mean I need a blanket. It means I need booze.”

86. “Oh no.”
“What is it? What happened? Who died?”
“I think I just felt an emotion.”
“You have GOT to be kidding me.”

87. “When all this is over, I want my sanity back.”

88. “That’s definitely not true.”
“Of course it is. I read it on Wikipedia.”

89. “You forgot me.”
“It was an accident.”

90. “Why do you keep risking your life? To prove a point?”
“Yes.”

91. “I would like to join you in acknowledging the difficulties of your life.”
“You are the WORST at this comfort thing.”

92. “You’ve got to stop doing that.”
“What?”
“Saying things that make me want to kiss you.”

93. “Look, if you want to conjure some demon spawn from the great beyond, that’s all fine and dandy. Just wait for me to leave before you start.”

94. “Just calm down!”
“My leg just dematerialised and you want me to calm down!?”

95. “You know what they say, panicking burns a shit ton of calories.”
“Who even says that?”
“Me. Just now.”

96. “Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner, having another existential crisis.”

97. “Oh my god, I had the exact same dream!”
“Really?”
“Are you crazy? Of course I didn’t.”

98. “I need to go de-stress.”
“Where are you going?”
“To demolish the living room.”

99. “I think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”

100. “I’m bitter and complicated. It’s one of my charms.”
“I don’t think you know what that word means. Or how to count.”

101. “I don’t know what the protocol is for revealing your secret identity so, hi? Surprise?”

102. You always think you know what you’d do when faced with the end of the world. Me? I went home and took a nap.

103. “Damn it, why aren’t you obeying the laws of physics?”

104. “I’d hug you right now, but you’re covered in evidence. And I also really don’t want to.”
“Evidence is a really nice euphemism for blood, gore and guts.”
“You’re totally missing the point. Do you know how pissed I am at you right now?”

105.  “This way is more efficient.”
“This way is going to get us killed.”

106. “You’re not my favourite person today.”
“I’m not your favourite person on any day.”

MC: so who’s your ideal type? 

Kyungsoo: a person who has a nice smile a person that has a nice caramel tone to their skin 
a person with model-like features, is apprx 182 cm
A person who has a name starting with a K and ends with I or J and N
One of the main dancers in EXO
Preferably goes by Nini bear
Person who has 3 dogs named Jianggu, JJang Ah, Monggu
Person who has a jawline who can CUT YOU
A person who literally is adorable yet a sex god
Person who is a chicken maniac-

All the EXO members: …. 

Jongin: *beams*

anonymous asked:

omg what is dead chicken i haven't seen it i'm curious now. but i do hope he wears the costume from 4cc at worlds. it belongs on a runway it's the most beautiful costume i've ever seen

you sweet summer child whose eyes have never been sullied by the sight of the chicken costume…i almost feel bad for answering this because your innocence will forever be gone. but you asked for it.

imagine the betrayal. going from one of the best costumes of the season, to this:

i can’t believe i had to go take these screencaps, i need to cleanse myself now

A glimpse of hell - mean nicknames created  by the Chinese Gymternet

NDISCLAIMER: 

1. Do not read this if you are easily offended by mean names, satirical jokes or dark humour. 

2. The Chinese gymternet culture, and its internet culture as a whole, is very different from the ones on tumblr. Partly due to its insularity, certain terms used in the Chinese gymternet could come across to you as too rude or brass or unacceptable. However, please also take into account the difference in the cultural aspect as well. As a common dweller in the Chinese gymternet community, I can promise that 95% of the satirical teasings or mean names created by the Chinese has no derogatory intention. The truly degrading, racist or sexist nicknames have also been filtered out by me, so rest assured. 

So now, if you are ready, please read on: 

——————————————–The line to hell——————————————-

Part 1. Basic terminology to nickname-creation

A. 野鸡 (ye-ji) noun./adj.  - pheasant; wild chicken (direct translation)

“Before anyone is worthy of being bestowed upon a nickname by the Chinese gymternet god, they are all wild chickens.”

The term “wild chicken” is not limited to the gymternet community - it is the umbrella term for all athletes who are either 1.not well known 2.not very good at the sport 3.both. Wild chicken can be used both as a noun and an adjective. Though initially carrying a negative and even derogatory connotation, the tone now is much more neutral. An example for the use of “wild chicken” with a neutral connotation would be - 

“Who is that wild chicken on bars? She’s pretty good.”

When used as an adjective, it is normally used to describe a routine that is underwhelming. For example “Songsong’s vault is quite 野鸡.”

When used to describe man, use 野鸭, or wild duck, instead of chicken. 

B. 女士/小姐 noun. - Ms/Mdm/Miss

Using an overly formal term to address an athlete is one of the most basic satirical trick used by the Chinese community. I’m not sure when and who first created this but oh boy does this thing spread fast! Similar to wild chicken, this term first carries a negative connotation, but some people liked it so much they start to call everybody, including the ones they love, with a Ms something something. More often than not though this term still carries a mocking tone to it.

Example: “Oh what a spectacular performance by Mdm____, she could have scored full marks in the 10-points scoring system!”

C. 好粉丝 noun. - Good fans

With its true meaning being “biased fans”, this word is often used to mock comments or other netizens for being…well…too biased. 

Example: “Good lord, those good fans are saying ____ is capable of winning gold again, what a joke!”

With the 3 most basic terminology in mind, lets move to more specific nicknames for gymnasts and countries. 

Part 2 - specific nicknames and its origin (names not written in any order, just writing them down as I remember them)

1. Victoria Komova - 擦擦,擦地,擦四步 (scratchy,ground-wiper, wipe-4-steps) 

Origin: 擦 (pronounced as tsah), means “to wipe” or “to scratch”. The name 擦擦 came after YOG in 2010 when Komova scratched her feet on the ground during bars final and then backed 4 steps during floor final - the Chinese netizens then begin saying that Komova is wiping the floor with her feet and there goes the “wipe-4-steps” and the “ground-wiper”. While used as a mocking nickname initially, most people now, even her fans, still refer to her as “scratchy” or “擦擦“. 

2. Kyla Ross - 敦煌飞仙 (Buddha’s heavenly leap)

Origin: It is extremely hard to translate the proverb 敦煌飞仙. The term “敦煌” is related to Buddism whereas 飞仙 means something like “flying to heaven”? It’s a buddist term and I’m not able to capture the exact meaning as well… anyway, the term came after Kyla’s super awkward fell during her 2015 Jesolo floor routine, and then one of the netizens who didn’t really like her wrote “OH MY HOW BEAUTIFUL, ITS LIKE A BUDDHA’S HEAVENLY LEAP”, and then suddenly everybody started to use it lmao. It is initially used to address Kyla Ross’s fall, but has now extended to all kinds of lurching kind of fall on floors. It definitely is still used to mock people though.

3.  Riley McCusker - 鸡翅膀 - Chicken Wing

Origin: Her 2016 floor choreography is just really weird and has hand movements like a “flapping wild chicken”, and if you have read the things I wrote above you will know being related to a “wild chicken” is NOT good for your image on the gymternet lmao. 

4. Nastia Liukin - 青蛙,娃娃 - frog, froggy

Origin: It’s due to the cowboying on her double front. One of the disgusted netizen commented that her posture during the double front is like a “leadping frog” and thats it lol. It is also notable that Nastia is a pretty controversial figure in the chinese gymternet, with large groups of fans and haters. The haters all address her as froggy and the fans will call her 公主 - princess. 

5. Deng Yalan - 种地小姐 - Miss peasant

Origin: So last year it became clear to the fans that Deng got addicted to a K-pop star and ended up semi-quitting her gymnastics career. Then there is this huge whooha regarding what she’s gonna do dropping gymnastics and her education at such a young age in the future. Then somebody digged out her family’s background and realized that her family is not very well-off in the first place and they live in the rural areas. So disappointed fans begin calling her Miss peasant to mock how she somehow ruined her own fledgling gymnastics career. 

6. Huang Qiushuang - 面膜小姐/黄面膜 - Miss Face mask/Facemask Huang

Origin: When Huang retired from gymnastics she opened a micro online shop to sell face masks. Such micro online shop in China is known for their dubious quality as many products are made without proper channels and regulation, and so yep people begin to call her Miss face mask for selling “fake products”. Whether the products are truly fake is unknown til today. 

7. Zeng Siqi & Chen Siyi - 旅游小姐/拍手小姐/提包小姐 - Miss vacation/Miss hand-clapper/Miss bag-carrier

Origin: Siqi only did beam (and fell) during the 2013 individual world championship, whereas Siyi didn’t do a single apparatus during the 2015 team final, so mean netizens begin mocking that “all Siyi did is to hold others’ tea cup and clap her hands and carry bags”, and then they became Miss hand-clappers. Dowell is also sometimes addressed as such too due to her lack of participation in 2013′s WC. 

8. Liu Jinru - 搞笑艺人 - Comedian

Origin: Because her dance and wobbles and fell are all quite…clumsy looking? Then some people said she looked like a comedian trying to make people laugh with all her wobbles and mistakes and now everybody begin calling her that.

9. Larisa Iordache - 影后 - movie queen

Origin: Prior of Olympics in 2012 rumour has it that Larisa is injured or something like that, and then she showed up to the competition almost fine (she fell on beam and floor but her difficulties are all back), and Chinese netizens were like “WASN’T SHE INJURED” when she showed up with a crazy difficulty beam routines, and there you’ve got the name!

10. Diana Bulimar - 布尼玛老太婆 - Witch Bulimar

Origin: This and the next one is probably the most offensive out of all terms SO PLEASE DON’T BE OFFENDED. Its also kind of hard to explain… so it all started with a superrrrrrrrrrrr Bulimar hater who also happens to be super active in the Chinese gymternet. Boy did he HATE Bulimar. And then since Romania’s struggling with the depth of talent pool the renowned hater started the “Bulimar is a witch and she cast a cremation spell on team Romania so that the entire gym program will be cremated” thing, and he talked about it in like every single fucking post lol, and it gradually got picked up. Bulimar is also known for having a “floor music of curse” back in 2012, as whoever is doing beam when Bulimar is using the 2012 floor music will either wobble or fall on beam. 

11. Romanian team - 火葬国 - Cremnation

Origin: Its the same as above, 火葬国 sounds super offensive as it means “country of cremation”, it’s a very bad joke and I apologize if anyone is offended… So anyway according to this hater Didi cast a cremation spell on the country’s gymnastics program so that it will all burn to ashes, and because hes so active everybody got brainwashed and start to address the team as “cremation team”. 

12. Other Romanian gymnasts cept Didi, Lari and Cata - 字母女士,Miss Alphabets

Origin: So it goes like the Romanian fans are super upset about how the new comers are unable to match the ability of Didi, Lari and Cata, or even do something that is memorable. And so in the cruel world of Chinese gymternet community such gymnasts do not deserve a distinctive nickname - they ended being called Miss H, Miss I, Miss O and Miss G, things like that. 

13. Team China - 宙国 - Team Universe

Origin: This may sounds nice but it is not - it is used to mock overly nationalistic chinese fans who thinks team China deserve to win everything and anything, so much so they own the universe lmao, so they instead call these fans as “fans of team universe”. 

14. Maria Paseka - 845

Origin: The degree that Paseka is able to turn on her Amanar in 2012. She got better afterwards but the name sticked with her for life. 

15. Mattie Larson - 冷宫怨妇 - Unwanted bitter women

Origin: Not a very good translation, but its hard to be translated :/. 冷宫 is a place in ancient China where the emperor’s least popular mistress are kept, whereas 怨妇 means very bitter women. The term started after her falls on floor in the 2007 team final, and rumours had it that Marta had enough of her and is never gonna use her ever. So in that sense I guess the nickname captured what happened pretty well :/. 

16. Zhang Nan - 巨星 - Super star/Icon

Origin: Netizens just don’t understand why Zhang Nan is so well-liked by the judges, even when the fans think she did her skills poorly in some cases. And then somebody said the famous line that “because she’s a super star” and then KABOOM everybody used it to mock her. There are also variant terms such as Zhang Nan’s late-as-always Ono on bars, called the “star turn”, and a falling LOSO mount on beam, called the “star mount”. 

BONUS: 

Deng Linlin - noun. - a unit used to measure the extent of one’s leg separation. 

Example: Liukin’s cowboying on her double front is so bad its like 1.5 Deng Linlin. 


And….thats about all that I can think of, against, please don’t be offended if some of your favs are on the list, most of these terms are meant as bad jokes, and some of them have shifted in their connotations so much even the fans start to use it. To conclude, I wish all of you have a nice laugh after reading this!  I mayyyy do a second issue of this if I have more :)

  • Rodney: Well, in other news, a mirage of a door has appeared in the East living quarters. Everyone can see it, and it won't go away, but we've proven through both records, and science, that it does not exist.
  • John: ...is... is it hurting anyone?
  • Rodney: Nope, but we've got it under surveillance. Your marines are standing out front of it daring each other to knock on the door, but they're all too chicken to do it.
  • John: Oh god.
The waiter | Isaac Lahey imagine

Summary: You go out to dinner with a few friends to the restaurant where you friend works. There’s a cute waiter there and he asks your friend about you.

You and a few of your closest friends decided to go out to dinner, it’s been a while since you met up with them because of work. Everyone had jobs and it was hard to find a time that none of you were working. Luckily you had and now you were having a nice night out with your friends.

You were going to the restaurant where one of your friends worked, it had opened a few months ago and she had been working there ever since it opened. You and your friends were sitting in a booth. Kira, the girl who worked at the restaurant was talking to some co-workers before joining you again ‘’We might get a discount because I work here’’ ‘’Nice’’ the whole group laughed and talked. 

‘’Hello there, I am Isaac and I’ll be your waiter for tonight’’ Isaac handed out the menus to you and your friends and made some small talk with Kira before leaving again. ‘’God all these options look so good’’ you sighed, ‘’I’m getting the chicken salad that sounds amazing’’ Lydia smiled and closed her menu,all of you had eventually made your decisions and Isaac came back to take your orders.

‘’And for me the spaghetti bolognese’’ You handed him your menu and smiled friendly ‘’Excellent choice’’ he grinned at you and took off again. You leaned in to Kira and whispered ‘’He’s kinda cute, right?’’ Kira grinned ‘’You think Isaac’s cute?’’ You nodded and blushed a little. Stiles grinned ‘’He’s cute if you’re into long guys with curly hair’’ you laughed and shoved him playfully ‘’Well maybe I am’’

You and your friends were having a great time, laughing and talking just enjoying each others company. ‘’Why do I even hang out with you? you guys are idiots’’ everyone laughed and agreed ‘’Hate to break it to you y/n, but you are one too that’s why you hang out with us’’ you laughed ‘’Fair enough’’ Isaac had returned, holding a few dishes. He handed them out to your friends ‘’Enjoy, anyone want something to drink?’’ everyone ordered a cocktail, it was a celebratory evening after all ‘’Very well, I’ll be right back with your orders’’ 

‘’This is soo good’’ you took another bite from your spaghetti ‘’I defenitely made an excellent choice’’ ‘’I told you so’’ You hadn’t seen Isaac arriving with your cocktails and blushed, that was kinda awkward. He grinned at you and handed out the drinks ‘’Enjoy everyone’’ everyone thanked him and laughed at you when he was gone. ‘’You’re a huge dork y/n’’ you nodded ‘’I’m hanging out with you aren’t I?’’ Stiles looked at you fake shocked ‘’are you calling me a dork?’’ he started fake crying and you rolled your eyes ‘’You’re kinda proving my point Stilinski’’ the two of you laughed and all of you enjoyed your meals and cocktails.

Everyone had finished their foods and Isaac had cleared the table ‘’Anyone want a dessert or anything to drink?’’ You ordered another cocktail and all of you ordered some dessert. It didn’t take long before Isaac returned with all of your desserts. ‘’Here you go, enjoy’’ all of you thanked him again and started eating. You had oordered the cheesecake and it was heavenly. ‘’God I’m so full’’ you placed your fork on the empty plate and took a sip of your cocktail. 

Kira had asked Isaac for the bill and left to pay, it was easier if Kira paid everything now and that you and your friends would pay her back, cause if you’d just all pay for your own thing, you wouldn’t have her discount. Kira was talking to Isaac and the group decided to wait outside till Kira was finished. Everyone understood that she wanted to talk to a few co-workers so you didn’t make a big deal out of it. 

‘’Hey y/n, could you go inside, I think you forgot something’’ Kira walked outside, grinning. You looked at her confused, did you forget anything? you walked back into the restaurant ‘’Y/n right?’’ Isaac stopped you ‘’Yeah’’ you nodded, still a little confused. ‘’This may be a little straight forward but I asked Kira about you’’ he scratched his neck, he was obviously nervous ‘’And I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me sometime’’ You smiled ‘’I’d like that’’ He took a notepad and a pen from his pocket ‘’Can I have your number?’’ you giggled and wrote it down, of course he had a notepad and a pen on him as a waiter.

‘’Why don’t you call me and we set something up’’ he smiled ‘’sounds good to me’’ you waved and left, smiling from ear to ear. Your friends were still waiting for you. ‘’So found what you were missing?’’ your friends were grinning, Kira had filled them in on the situation. ‘’I sure did’’ you stuck your tonuge out and laughed. This was an even better night than you had expected it to be.

ive been………………………………calm?

i dont know exactly wht it is bt like

ive been. consistently getting money for m art on fa

+ its jst like. jst surrounding mself w/ art there + its jst like

im. finally realizing tht making money from m art isnt jst an extremely distant dream, its. Real, its Happening, its Definitely Possible??????????

its just

g o d its such a relief

anonymous asked:

What is a "reg"? I gather from the context that it's not good but I have never seen that word before (aaah I feel like I'm getting too old for tumblr, I don't know all these words the Cool Kids are using nowadays)

it stands for Reactionary Exclusionist Gatekeeper (i think theres a couple other varients but they’re more or less th same thing)

more or less someone who tries to gatekeep others from lgbtqiap+ communities for arbitrary reasons, such as terfs/truscum/biphobes/aphobes

its just a nice umbrella term for ppl w/ tht harmful way of thinking/acting

Critical Role Sentence starters p.1
  • “I never trusted that Magneto looking motherfucker.”
  • “We’re in town, fuck it. Anything’s possible!”
  • “It’s like Weekend at Bernie’s.”
  • “I would like to rage.”
  • “Did you get that so you can spy on _____?”
  • “I encourage violence.”
  • “Do you want to go steady? Yes, no or maybe.”
  • “Warn me first!”
  • “You’re a bad ass, nameless NPC!”
  • “You fucked up.”
  • “Shoot that load, ______!”
  • “I knew it! I knew it! I’m a special boy.”
  • “It’s like your god has smiled on me and said ‘he’s cool, go for it’.”
  • “Yes, I’ve got two eyes.”
  • “Where do I knock off my points for pride?”
  • “That’s in additional notes.”
  • “What’s family for other than to take advantage of?”
  • “There’s nothing you can’t ruin.”
  • “You don’t understand, we haven’t been apart in about… ever.”
  • “Thank you, I hate to lose papaya.”
  • “Like a fourteen year old who’s father doesn’t love him enough to teach him how to groom himself.”
  • “Anyway, we’ll talk about it over fire camps!”
  • “What’s that term called? The one where your penis is inverted?”
  • “He’s a boy! Look at his giant bear dick!”
  • “Diamonds are forever.”
  • “Oh my god, you guys! All I needed was fried chicken.”
  • “I use fuck me.”
  • “You will leave when Burt Reynolds tells you to leave.”
  • “You have a twin? What’s she look like?”
  • “Us Dwarves are known for our dicks that are sensitive to rat bites.”
  • “I would like you to enchant my staff.”
  • “I mean it in a strictly platonic, arcanic sense.”
  • “Oh jesus ball sacks!”
  • “How would you like to make a gold coin?”
  • “You sick fucks.”
  • “Well, I mean, you came to a bar looking for young boys.”
  • “I thought you were heroes.”
  • “I waited two weeks to meet you.”
  • “I just wanted to be a hero.”
  • “I will, I’ll make you proud.”
  • “Of course I would definitely stop looking if I saw her naked in front of my poo.”
  • “I’m going to scry through my poo.”
  • “You’re stealing from a crying man!”
  • “You’re walking straight so it couldn’t have gone too well.”
  • “She’s vegan, of course she told them.”
  • “I can sense you, you dick!”
  • “We had a safe word for a reason!”
  • “My god, ______’s a hoarder. Or he’s in serious distress.”
  • “I think it’s the previous.”
  • “I encourage sandwich.”
  • “I have an itch and it can only be scratched with a cow bell.”
  • “Your kid is weird.”
  • “Not a child!”
  • “I have a plan… we’re all cows.”
  • “It’s cow or never.”
  • “This is udderly ridiculous.”
  • “#supple bear”
  • “You softened the shit of him.”
  • “Please, please don’t let them kill me.”
  • “We may be fuck ups, but we’re not without ability.”
  • “Always go in the backdoor.”
  • “Can you say anything that isn’t laced with innuendo?”
  • “Don’t throw around the ‘d’ work unless it’s the ‘d’ word time.”
  • AND FINALLY: “How do you want to do this?”

I open tumblr, after not being present all day, and what do I find?!? My dash being blown up with amazing pics of Gillian and then what else do I find?? PM was with her at BAFTAs but you know what?… I am not worried at all! Tomorrow Gillovny will rise and as for right now I am going to settle down with my fried chicken and wait for American Gods to come on!! All is well in my gillovny bubble! Night everyone! Until tomorrow!!! ✌️

Originally posted by agentscullycarter

Originally posted by beeranyone

7

no

im fuckign done this god damn no talent chicken keeps fainting all over the place and making this game a living hell

but this fucking crosses the line

you fainted from laughter you fainted from goddamn laughter you FUCKING SHITHEAD ITS NOT THAT FUNNY WERE GOING AGAINST A MOTHERFUCKIGN HUGE EVIL DRAGON THING AND YOURE LAUGHING YOUR ASS OFF OVER LETTERS YOU FUCKING FAINTED BECAUSE OF THIS I DONT NEED THIS

Kai/You Scenario- Anon Request

My first fic request~ hope that you like it. The prompt will be in the fic since the plot is kind of revealed through it. 

Thank you, anony :) i hope you like it :)))

Pair: you/jongin

“You have something on your face.”

The voice comes from somewhere to your left, where Jongin is buried neck-deep in a bucket of chicken. 

Keep reading

whats on the dinner schedule for the week???? hmmmmmmm

Monday: chicken and potatoes

Tuesday: leftover chicken and potatoes

Wednesday: leftover leftovers

Thursday: probably nothing

Friday: beef. (probably nothing)

Saturday: a handful of almonds

Sunday: chicken and potatoes sound good right about now