apologise in advance for the inconvenience my murder is going to have on your
hate you.” “Why? I’m lovely.”
wasn’t on today’s agenda.” “It’s not on anyone’s.” “No, it’s on mine, just not
until next Thursday.”
on, you died.” “Yeah, well it didn’t
is my life now. I have climbed this hill and now I will die upon it.” “Shut up.
We’ve only been hiking for twenty minutes.”
crying, what do I do?” “Go comfort her.” “How do I do that?” “Start with hugs.”
our exit strategy?” “Our what?” “Oh my god, we’re all going to die.”
going to need chicken blood, salt, five candles, and a bottle of vodka.”
“Vodka? For the spell?” “No, that’s just to make me feel better about ripping a
hole in the universe.”
you clinically insane or incredibly annoying?” “I don’t know, probably both.”
saved your lives.” “How? By stealing our freedom? Our minds? Our identity?”
takes a very special kind of idiot to pull off what you just did.”
getting really tired of pretending I’m not evil.”
you just agree with me?” “Oh I wish I could take-” “Nope! You said it! No
a long story.” “You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I
regret a lot of things. Having this conversation tops the list.”
had a thought.” “Oh no.” “I swear it’s a good one this time!’
open the door!” “No. It’s cooler when you break in.”
you think they remember you?” “I sure hope not after what I did the last time I
was here.” “What did you do?” “You’ll find out.”
look…” “Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”
scared me!” “Well, I am naturally terrifying.”
agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”
take a bullet for you, you know that.” “You’re immortal, and I’m going to kill
you if you keep saying that.”
really have no clue who I am?” “You’d think the confused looks and blank stare
would have answered that for you.”
am way too sober for this.”
don’t strike me as a professional criminal.” “That’s what makes me so good at
don’t think of you as a protector. More like a distraction.”
have five people trying to kill us right now, what are we supposed to do?”
“Actually, it’s more like eight.” “Oh, sorry I wasn’t specific enough!”
you could even comprehend where I’ve come from, you would be terrified of me.”
saved your life!” “You pushed me off a building.”
know we’re not all born with the ability to throw fireballs, right?”
do we keep getting into these situations?” “Eleven years of friendship and I
still don’t know.”
you hear that scream?” “Yes, I’m the one who screamed.”
you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I just break his nose
are remarkably well behaved tonight. What did you do?”
crushing my spleen.” “You don’t even know where your spleen is.”
no detective, of course, but I think this dead body might not be alive
now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge.” “Can I
real treasure was the memories we made along the way.” “I almost died!” “Ah
yes, that was my fondest memory.”
trying to have a serious conversation with you!” “And I’m trying to subtly
I didn’t kill anyone today!” “What do you want? A gold star?”
hate you.” “Why? I’m lovely.”
a scale from one to ten, how bad do you think it would be if-” “At least a
everything about this is illegal.”
billion people in the world, and you’re overreacting because we killed one
man.” “But-” “Seven. Billion. People. Now quit the complaining and drink your
not my birthday.” “It’s definitely your birthday.” “Give me a calendar. It’s
not and I will prove it to – oh. Never mind. Happy birthday to me.”
a scale from one to ten, how bad do you want to kill me right now?” “I’m
hovering somewhere in the high thirties.”
can fix that.” “I’m calling a professional.” “I’m a professional.” “A more
the word for that infestation of tiny creatures over there?” “Those are
children. That’s a school.”
have a concern.” “Just one?” “No, but I didn’t think you’d let me speak my
piece if I told you how many I actually have.”
are you glaring at me?” “I’m hoping you’ll spontaneously combust.”
we die, I’m going to spend the rest of our afterlife reminding you that this
was all your fault.” “That’s cool, I wouldn’t mind having company while being a
are you so afraid of?” “You.”
is that THING in your backpack?” “It’s my new pet dragon.” “Dragons aren’t
real!” “Then why is there one in my backpack?”
hate the sight of blood.” “Then maybe you shouldn’t kill for a living.”
that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes.”
to see what kind of trouble we can get into?” “Oh god, we’re going to die,
aren’t we?” “It’s a Tuesday, I know how to restrain myself.” “You absolutely do
don’t give a damn.” “You give so many damns they’re visible from SPACE.”
be easy. You just have to seduce them.” “You’re kidding, right? I’m about as
seductive as a cabbage.”
not as evil as people think you are.” “No. I’m much worse.”
a terrifyingly accurate drawing of us.” “It’s almost like I’m good at what I
have no power over me.” “You sure about that?”
isn’t good.” “How can you tell?” “See how they’re slowly surrounding us? And
they all have guns and knives and I think one guy is carrying a machete?”
right behind me, isn’t he?” “Actually he’s right in front of you.”
not a thief. I’m just really good at acquiring things that aren’t mine.”
not completely human anymore. Remember that next time you want to punch me in
that blood?” “No?” “That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with
never stood a chance, did I?” “That’s the sad part – you did once.”
okay, I’m here.”
not going to leave you.”
going to protect you.”
believe in you.”
you feel guilty? Like, at all?” “I don’t have time to feel guilty. And neither
that!” “Stop what?” “Doing that thing with your face when you’re happy. It’s
making me nauseous.”
are you doing?” “…Eating.” “We’re being held hostage and you decide to raid the
kitchen?” “They didn’t say the fridge was off limits.”
that a dead body?” “Maybe?” “It is. I can see it right in front of me.” “I
promise I’ll clean it up before dinner.”
we’re going to get out of here, we’re going to have to work together. After
that, we can go back to killing each other.” “Oh, fine.”
not funny.” “I thought it was.” “You don’t count. You started laughing in the
middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on
we need wine?” “No, I need wine, you
need to put your pants back on.” “But life is so freeing without them.” “Pants.
you please go be stupid somewhere that’s away from me?”
feel like I’m being stabbed.” “How do you even know what it feels like to be
you be quiet?” “I didn’t say anything!” “Well stop thinking so loud.”
you get my note?” “Of course I got it. You taped it to my forehead while I was
a psychopath.” “I prefer creative.”
do people keep trying to put this blanket on me?” “Because you’re in shock.”
“That doesn’t mean I need a blanket. It means I need booze.”
no.” “What is it? What happened? Who died?” “I think I just felt an emotion.”
“You have GOT to be kidding me.”
all this is over, I want my sanity back.”
definitely not true.” “Of course it is. I read it on Wikipedia.”
forgot me.” “It was an accident.”
do you keep risking your life? To prove a point?” “Yes.”
would like to join you in acknowledging the difficulties of your life.” “You
are the WORST at this comfort thing.”
got to stop doing that.” “What?” “Saying things that make me want to kiss you.”
if you want to conjure some demon spawn from the great beyond, that’s all fine
and dandy. Just wait for me to leave before you start.”
calm down!” “My leg just dematerialised and you want me to calm down!?”
know what they say, panicking burns a shit ton of calories.” “Who even says
that?” “Me. Just now.”
mind me, I’ll just be in the corner, having another existential crisis.”
97. “Oh my god, I had the exact same dream!”
“Really?” “Are you crazy? Of course I didn’t.”
need to go de-stress.” “Where are you going?” “To demolish the living room.”
think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”
100. “I’m bitter and complicated. It’s one of my
charms.” “I don’t think you know what that word means. Or how to count.”
101. “I don’t know what the protocol is for
revealing your secret identity so, hi? Surprise?”
always think you know what you’d do when faced with the end of the world. Me? I
went home and took a nap.
103. “Damn it, why aren’t you obeying the laws of
104. “I’d hug you right now, but you’re covered
in evidence. And I also really don’t want to.” “Evidence is a really nice
euphemism for blood, gore and guts.” “You’re totally missing the point. Do you
know how pissed I am at you right now?”
105. “This way is more efficient.” “This way is
going to get us killed.”
106. “You’re not my favourite person today.” “I’m
not your favourite person on any day.”
Kyungsoo: a person who has a nice smile a person that has a nice caramel tone to their skin a person with model-like features, is apprx 182 cm A person who has a name starting with a K and ends with I or J and N One of the main dancers in EXO Preferably goes by Nini bear Person who has 3 dogs named Jianggu, JJang Ah, Monggu Person who has a jawline who can CUT YOU A person who literally is adorable yet a sex god Person who is a chicken maniac-
A glimpse of hell - mean nicknames created by the Chinese Gymternet
1. Do not read this if you are easily offended by mean names, satirical jokes or dark humour.
2. The Chinese gymternet culture, and its internet culture as a whole, is very different from the ones on tumblr. Partly due to its insularity, certain terms used in the Chinese gymternet could come across to you as too rude or brass or unacceptable. However, please also take into account the difference in the cultural aspect as well. As a common dweller in the Chinese gymternet community, I can promise that 95% of the satirical teasings or mean names created by the Chinese has no derogatory intention. The truly degrading, racist or sexist nicknames have also been filtered out by me, so rest assured.
So now, if you are ready, please read on:
——————————————–The line to hell——————————————-
Part 1. Basic terminology to nickname-creation
A. 野鸡 (ye-ji) noun./adj. - pheasant; wild chicken (direct translation)
“Before anyone is worthy of being bestowed upon a nickname by the Chinese gymternet god, they are all wild chickens.”
The term “wild chicken” is not limited to the gymternet community - it is the umbrella term for all athletes who are either 1.not well known 2.not very good at the sport 3.both. Wild chicken can be used both as a noun and an adjective. Though initially carrying a negative and even derogatory connotation, the tone now is much more neutral. An example for the use of “wild chicken” with a neutral connotation would be -
“Who is that wild chicken on bars? She’s pretty good.”
When used as an adjective, it is normally used to describe a routine that is underwhelming. For example “Songsong’s vault is quite 野鸡.”
When used to describe man, use 野鸭, or wild duck, instead of chicken.
B. 女士/小姐 noun. - Ms/Mdm/Miss
Using an overly formal term to address an athlete is one of the most basic satirical trick used by the Chinese community. I’m not sure when and who first created this but oh boy does this thing spread fast! Similar to wild chicken, this term first carries a negative connotation, but some people liked it so much they start to call everybody, including the ones they love, with a Ms something something. More often than not though this term still carries a mocking tone to it.
Example: “Oh what a spectacular performance by Mdm____, she could have scored full marks in the 10-points scoring system!”
C. 好粉丝 noun. - Good fans
With its true meaning being “biased fans”, this word is often used to mock comments or other netizens for being…well…too biased.
Example: “Good lord, those good fans are saying ____ is capable of winning gold again, what a joke!”
With the 3 most basic terminology in mind, lets move to more specific nicknames for gymnasts and countries.
Part 2 - specific nicknames and its origin (names not written in any order, just writing them down as I remember them)
1. Victoria Komova - 擦擦，擦地，擦四步 （scratchy，ground-wiper, wipe-4-steps)
Origin: 擦 (pronounced as tsah), means “to wipe” or “to scratch”. The name 擦擦 came after YOG in 2010 when Komova scratched her feet on the ground during bars final and then backed 4 steps during floor final - the Chinese netizens then begin saying that Komova is wiping the floor with her feet and there goes the “wipe-4-steps” and the “ground-wiper”. While used as a mocking nickname initially, most people now, even her fans, still refer to her as “scratchy” or “擦擦“.
2. Kyla Ross - 敦煌飞仙 (Buddha’s heavenly leap)
Origin: It is extremely hard to translate the proverb 敦煌飞仙. The term “敦煌” is related to Buddism whereas 飞仙 means something like “flying to heaven”? It’s a buddist term and I’m not able to capture the exact meaning as well… anyway, the term came after Kyla’s super awkward fell during her 2015 Jesolo floor routine, and then one of the netizens who didn’t really like her wrote “OH MY HOW BEAUTIFUL, ITS LIKE A BUDDHA’S HEAVENLY LEAP”, and then suddenly everybody started to use it lmao. It is initially used to address Kyla Ross’s fall, but has now extended to all kinds of lurching kind of fall on floors. It definitely is still used to mock people though.
3. Riley McCusker - 鸡翅膀 - Chicken Wing
Origin: Her 2016 floor choreography is just really weird and has hand movements like a “flapping wild chicken”, and if you have read the things I wrote above you will know being related to a “wild chicken” is NOT good for your image on the gymternet lmao.
4. Nastia Liukin - 青蛙，娃娃 - frog, froggy
Origin: It’s due to the cowboying on her double front. One of the disgusted netizen commented that her posture during the double front is like a “leadping frog” and thats it lol. It is also notable that Nastia is a pretty controversial figure in the chinese gymternet, with large groups of fans and haters. The haters all address her as froggy and the fans will call her 公主 - princess.
5. Deng Yalan - 种地小姐 - Miss peasant
Origin: So last year it became clear to the fans that Deng got addicted to a K-pop star and ended up semi-quitting her gymnastics career. Then there is this huge whooha regarding what she’s gonna do dropping gymnastics and her education at such a young age in the future. Then somebody digged out her family’s background and realized that her family is not very well-off in the first place and they live in the rural areas. So disappointed fans begin calling her Miss peasant to mock how she somehow ruined her own fledgling gymnastics career.
6. Huang Qiushuang - 面膜小姐/黄面膜 - Miss Face mask/Facemask Huang
Origin: When Huang retired from gymnastics she opened a micro online shop to sell face masks. Such micro online shop in China is known for their dubious quality as many products are made without proper channels and regulation, and so yep people begin to call her Miss face mask for selling “fake products”. Whether the products are truly fake is unknown til today.
Origin: Siqi only did beam (and fell) during the 2013 individual world championship, whereas Siyi didn’t do a single apparatus during the 2015 team final, so mean netizens begin mocking that “all Siyi did is to hold others’ tea cup and clap her hands and carry bags”, and then they became Miss hand-clappers. Dowell is also sometimes addressed as such too due to her lack of participation in 2013′s WC.
8. Liu Jinru - 搞笑艺人 - Comedian
Origin: Because her dance and wobbles and fell are all quite…clumsy looking? Then some people said she looked like a comedian trying to make people laugh with all her wobbles and mistakes and now everybody begin calling her that.
9. Larisa Iordache - 影后 - movie queen
Origin: Prior of Olympics in 2012 rumour has it that Larisa is injured or something like that, and then she showed up to the competition almost fine (she fell on beam and floor but her difficulties are all back), and Chinese netizens were like “WASN’T SHE INJURED” when she showed up with a crazy difficulty beam routines, and there you’ve got the name!
10. Diana Bulimar - 布尼玛老太婆 - Witch Bulimar
Origin: This and the next one is probably the most offensive out of all terms SO PLEASE DON’T BE OFFENDED. Its also kind of hard to explain… so it all started with a superrrrrrrrrrrr Bulimar hater who also happens to be super active in the Chinese gymternet. Boy did he HATE Bulimar. And then since Romania’s struggling with the depth of talent pool the renowned hater started the “Bulimar is a witch and she cast a cremation spell on team Romania so that the entire gym program will be cremated” thing, and he talked about it in like every single fucking post lol, and it gradually got picked up. Bulimar is also known for having a “floor music of curse” back in 2012, as whoever is doing beam when Bulimar is using the 2012 floor music will either wobble or fall on beam.
11. Romanian team - 火葬国 - Cremnation
Origin: Its the same as above, 火葬国 sounds super offensive as it means “country of cremation”, it’s a very bad joke and I apologize if anyone is offended… So anyway according to this hater Didi cast a cremation spell on the country’s gymnastics program so that it will all burn to ashes, and because hes so active everybody got brainwashed and start to address the team as “cremation team”.
12. Other Romanian gymnasts cept Didi, Lari and Cata - 字母女士，Miss Alphabets
Origin: So it goes like the Romanian fans are super upset about how the new comers are unable to match the ability of Didi, Lari and Cata, or even do something that is memorable. And so in the cruel world of Chinese gymternet community such gymnasts do not deserve a distinctive nickname - they ended being called Miss H, Miss I, Miss O and Miss G, things like that.
13. Team China - 宙国 - Team Universe
Origin: This may sounds nice but it is not - it is used to mock overly nationalistic chinese fans who thinks team China deserve to win everything and anything, so much so they own the universe lmao, so they instead call these fans as “fans of team universe”.
14. Maria Paseka - 845
Origin: The degree that Paseka is able to turn on her Amanar in 2012. She got better afterwards but the name sticked with her for life.
15. Mattie Larson - 冷宫怨妇 - Unwanted bitter women
Origin: Not a very good translation, but its hard to be translated :/. 冷宫 is a place in ancient China where the emperor’s least popular mistress are kept, whereas 怨妇 means very bitter women. The term started after her falls on floor in the 2007 team final, and rumours had it that Marta had enough of her and is never gonna use her ever. So in that sense I guess the nickname captured what happened pretty well :/.
16. Zhang Nan - 巨星 - Super star/Icon
Origin: Netizens just don’t understand why Zhang Nan is so well-liked by the judges, even when the fans think she did her skills poorly in some cases. And then somebody said the famous line that “because she’s a super star” and then KABOOM everybody used it to mock her. There are also variant terms such as Zhang Nan’s late-as-always Ono on bars, called the “star turn”, and a falling LOSO mount on beam, called the “star mount”.
Deng Linlin - noun. - a unit used to measure the extent of one’s leg separation.
Example: Liukin’s cowboying on her double front is so bad its like 1.5 Deng Linlin.
And….thats about all that I can think of, against, please don’t be offended if some of your favs are on the list, most of these terms are meant as bad jokes, and some of them have shifted in their connotations so much even the fans start to use it. To conclude, I wish all of you have a nice laugh after reading this! I mayyyy do a second issue of this if I have more :)
Well, in other news, a mirage of a door has appeared in the East living quarters. Everyone can see it, and it won't go away, but we've proven through both records, and science, that it does not exist.
...is... is it hurting anyone?
Nope, but we've got it under surveillance. Your marines are standing out front of it daring each other to knock on the door, but they're all too chicken to do it.
Summary: You go out to dinner with a few friends to the restaurant where you friend works. There’s a cute waiter there and he asks your friend about you.
You and a few of your closest friends decided to go out to dinner, it’s been a while since you met up with them because of work. Everyone had jobs and it was hard to find a time that none of you were working. Luckily you had and now you were having a nice night out with your friends.
You were going to the restaurant where one of your friends worked, it had opened a few months ago and she had been working there ever since it opened. You and your friends were sitting in a booth. Kira, the girl who worked at the restaurant was talking to some co-workers before joining you again ‘’We might get a discount because I work here’’ ‘’Nice’’ the whole group laughed and talked.
‘’Hello there, I am Isaac and I’ll be your waiter for tonight’’ Isaac handed out the menus to you and your friends and made some small talk with Kira before leaving again. ‘’God all these options look so good’’ you sighed, ‘’I’m getting the chicken salad that sounds amazing’’ Lydia smiled and closed her menu,all of you had eventually made your decisions and Isaac came back to take your orders.
‘’And for me the spaghetti bolognese’’ You handed him your menu and smiled friendly ‘’Excellent choice’’ he grinned at you and took off again. You leaned in to Kira and whispered ‘’He’s kinda cute, right?’’ Kira grinned ‘’You think Isaac’s cute?’’ You nodded and blushed a little. Stiles grinned ‘’He’s cute if you’re into long guys with curly hair’’ you laughed and shoved him playfully ‘’Well maybe I am’’
You and your friends were having a great time, laughing and talking just enjoying each others company. ‘’Why do I even hang out with you? you guys are idiots’’ everyone laughed and agreed ‘’Hate to break it to you y/n, but you are one too that’s why you hang out with us’’ you laughed ‘’Fair enough’’ Isaac had returned, holding a few dishes. He handed them out to your friends ‘’Enjoy, anyone want something to drink?’’ everyone ordered a cocktail, it was a celebratory evening after all ‘’Very well, I’ll be right back with your orders’’
‘’This is soo good’’ you took another bite from your spaghetti ‘’I defenitely made an excellent choice’’ ‘’I told you so’’ You hadn’t seen Isaac arriving with your cocktails and blushed, that was kinda awkward. He grinned at you and handed out the drinks ‘’Enjoy everyone’’ everyone thanked him and laughed at you when he was gone. ‘’You’re a huge dork y/n’’ you nodded ‘’I’m hanging out with you aren’t I?’’ Stiles looked at you fake shocked ‘’are you calling me a dork?’’ he started fake crying and you rolled your eyes ‘’You’re kinda proving my point Stilinski’’ the two of you laughed and all of you enjoyed your meals and cocktails.
Everyone had finished their foods and Isaac had cleared the table ‘’Anyone want a dessert or anything to drink?’’ You ordered another cocktail and all of you ordered some dessert. It didn’t take long before Isaac returned with all of your desserts. ‘’Here you go, enjoy’’ all of you thanked him again and started eating. You had oordered the cheesecake and it was heavenly. ‘’God I’m so full’’ you placed your fork on the empty plate and took a sip of your cocktail.
Kira had asked Isaac for the bill and left to pay, it was easier if Kira paid everything now and that you and your friends would pay her back, cause if you’d just all pay for your own thing, you wouldn’t have her discount. Kira was talking to Isaac and the group decided to wait outside till Kira was finished. Everyone understood that she wanted to talk to a few co-workers so you didn’t make a big deal out of it.
‘’Hey y/n, could you go inside, I think you forgot something’’ Kira walked outside, grinning. You looked at her confused, did you forget anything? you walked back into the restaurant ‘’Y/n right?’’ Isaac stopped you ‘’Yeah’’ you nodded, still a little confused. ‘’This may be a little straight forward but I asked Kira about you’’ he scratched his neck, he was obviously nervous ‘’And I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me sometime’’ You smiled ‘’I’d like that’’ He took a notepad and a pen from his pocket ‘’Can I have your number?’’ you giggled and wrote it down, of course he had a notepad and a pen on him as a waiter.
‘’Why don’t you call me and we set something up’’ he smiled ‘’sounds good to me’’ you waved and left, smiling from ear to ear. Your friends were still waiting for you. ‘’So found what you were missing?’’ your friends were grinning, Kira had filled them in on the situation. ‘’I sure did’’ you stuck your tonuge out and laughed. This was an even better night than you had expected it to be.
What is a "reg"? I gather from the context that it's not good but I have never seen that word before (aaah I feel like I'm getting too old for tumblr, I don't know all these words the Cool Kids are using nowadays)
it stands for Reactionary Exclusionist Gatekeeper (i think theres a couple other varients but they’re more or less th same thing)
more or less someone who tries to gatekeep others from lgbtqiap+ communities for arbitrary reasons, such as terfs/truscum/biphobes/aphobes
its just a nice umbrella term for ppl w/ tht harmful way of thinking/acting
I open tumblr, after not being present all day, and what do I find?!? My dash being blown up with amazing pics of Gillian and then what else do I find?? PM was with her at BAFTAs but you know what?… I am not worried at all! Tomorrow Gillovny will rise and as for right now I am going to settle down with my fried chicken and wait for American Gods to come on!! All is well in my gillovny bubble! Night everyone! Until tomorrow!!! ✌️
im fuckign done this god damn no talent chicken keeps fainting all over the place and making this game a living hell
but this fucking crosses the line
you fainted from laughter you fainted from goddamn laughter you FUCKING SHITHEAD ITS NOT THAT FUNNY WERE GOING AGAINST A MOTHERFUCKIGN HUGE EVIL DRAGON THING AND YOURE LAUGHING YOUR ASS OFF OVER LETTERS YOU FUCKING FAINTED BECAUSE OF THIS I DONT NEED THIS