god nope goodbye

sweet release

a/n: /cries [[janitorjimin minsugahs jpony]] this is what happens when jo has ideas planted in her head. oh my god. nope. goodbye. /casually walks out of the galaxy

this is really not what jimin had in mind when he applied for the part-time position as cleaning staff at the hershey’s chocolate factory.

it was supposed to be an easy, menial job to make some extra petty cash and keep himself occupied until the end of the summer when he’d go back to school for his second year of college.

when he’d had his interview, jimin was told his duties would involve keeping the dust and gunk out of production areas, and making sure to keep the hallways and unreachable corners clear of trash to prevent any fire hazards.

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Riot gave up on Lore

//Another event is approaching, Bilgewater: Burning Tides (To be honest, I’m not sure why would the tides be… burning?)

Note, this is just my personal opinion, I wanted to share it with you.

I wasn’t content with the last two events, the Freljord and Shurima events. They were, well, flashy. They had some very nice artwork tied to them, some shiny videos, heralds, graphics, whatever. I liked the look of that a lot. But when it comes to the lore those events brought, it was bad. Maybe just Ashe got some character development, the rest got completely destroyed. Retconned to a few sentences.

The Great Retcon hit me in the face and I realized all those great stories with the Institute of War, Journal of Justice and Judgments were thrown into rubbish.

But, Riot said those short “lores” were just intros to their real new lores, when the tech issues get resolved, they’ll publish them.

Unfortunately, I still won’t be interested in reading even a 100 page-long story about a giant scorpion guardian somewhere in Shurima. I really liked Skarner as a vanguard of his people, where the Brakern were both created and threatened to be eradicated by the Summoners of the Institute of War.

Riot is doing all this to the lore because they are planning the future of it, which they say will be very good; unfortunately, it’s obvious what they’re aiming for - a fantasy land where you can just insert any overpowered character from whichever story, and that’s that. Just look at the last.. dozen of champions. What the hell does a giant fish-devourer have to do with a spirit of vengeance, or a magical-space-sack of stars that just whistles and does things nobody understands. Everyone has a Dark and Mysterious past ™ and all of them are one-dimensional characters with one jump-hook.

even Ekko: his comic was very nicely done. The drawings are amazing. But tell me that wasn’t the hundredth time you’ve read a story where a street kid looses his friend, then has to decide whether to go for revenge, or stay with his dying friend. Just throw in a useless time machine. That’s it: he has one hook: he’s loyal to his friends and we all go “awww”. Even Riot’s explanation, “he made the Z-drive himself, he’s so smart :)” is lame. There is no way an uneducated child could make something our physics doesn’t even allow, with only material… he could have found on the street. No way. He’s the classical example of “overbuffed character just for the sake of epicness”, designed to be sold for money. I bet each and every person here on Tumblr could have (or already did) imagined a better backstory for Ekko. I’m certain Narrative at Riot could have as well. But they’re told not to write better, deeper stories, because that’s just the company’s plan. They have to write overblown one-dimensional characters with flashy explosions behind them, because, at the end of the day, they are making them for a MOBA. They’re focusing everything to be more MOBA-oriented.

And all of the retconned Champions? Summoners and the Institute of War, the supranational entity which served to try to prevent Runeterra from breaking apart from another Rune War? All of that is gone, along with an interconnected, live world. Now everything is large, “epic”, resembling any other work of fiction with nothing special, dark and mysterious. There are very few remaining connections between some characters.

Freljord event will never receive a closure. And what, for a MOBA to end? Oh no, MOBA’s don’t end. Shurima event is the same. It’s just a one-hook event, not a story chapter. Just look: an ancient Emperor rises from the dead to resurrect his fallen empire. The end. Nothing more to it, except some unimportant details, thrown in just for colour.

Bilgewater event won’t have any quality lore either. It may even retcon several characters with it, unfortunately.

From now on, I will openly ignore Riot’s new lore if I don’t like it. I won’t feel forced to accept if they one day suddenly say “From today, Master Yi is a fallen king of the empire of Ionia, struggling to defeat his longtime enemy, Xin Zhao.” And I’m having a very strong presentiment they’ll retcon Viktor into an evil cyborg overlord.

“Pray to the Machine Gods”

lol nope goodbye Riot