How can I try to make myself believe that I'm good?
First of all, if you really think that you are bad and you are only trying to make yourself believe that you are good, your mind will tell you that you are only fooling yourself. If you feel that you are bad because ten years ago you did something wrong, or yesterday you did something undivine, then you are creating a problem for yourself with your own mind. You need to change your basic way of thinking about yourself and instead say, “I am God’s child. How can I be really bad?”
I am not saying that when you do something wrong you should fool yourself by saying that you have done everything right. But by thinking, “Oh, I have done wrong, I have done wrong! God will never let me reach my goal. I will just go on and on doing the same wrong thing,” you cannot make any progress. If you constantly think of your wrong actions, can this possibly lead you in the right direction?
If you were supposed to meditate early in the morning at 6:30, but you didn’t get up on time, just by thinking, “I didn’t meditate, I am a worthless fellow,” you only make yourself angry and depressed. If you have missed one opportunity, then say, “Tomorrow I will get another opportunity. Let me try again most sincerely.” Today is not the last day of your life. You can try again tomorrow. But if you tell yourself, “Oh, yesterday I worked very late so today I could not get up. God has to forgive me,” then first you have done the wrong thing and then, by justifying it, you have added strength to your wrong action. You must forget about your wrong actions after resolving not to repeat them. But do not justify them in order to make yourself feel that you are not so bad.
Now today has come and again you have a golden opportunity. If you take it and do the right thing today, you will feel that you have really made some progress. Then, during the day and when you go to bed at night and when you wake up the next morning, think of the good things that you did and try to remember the joy they gave you. This is not a fabrication of the mind. It is the living reality that you consciously created by your right action. Now it is like a luminous child that is growing in you. Or think of your right action as a seed that you sowed in the morning. Now this seed has germinated. A tiny plant is growing, continuously growing. When you can see the growth of that tiny plant throughout the day, you will naturally get satisfaction. This little divine plant that is growing inside you will give you inspiration once again, and you will be able to do something else good and divine. And when you meditate soulfully every day and nourish this divine plant inside you, you will soon see that this tiny plant is growing and growing into a huge banyan tree.
When you have done something wrong, consider that it is over. ‘The past is dust’ is my philosophy. Let us avail ourselves of tomorrow’s golden opportunity to do the right thing. Let us build our foundation on a solid rock. Let us grow from light to more light, to abundant light, to infinite Light. Light is our Source, and from Light we can grow. But if we feed on darkness of negativity we won’t be able to grow at all.