god i wish i were kidding

anonymous asked:

oh my god i just saw an ask on this page about white teachers pronouncing Asian names and i grew up in a predominantly Asian area and am half Asian myself and there were so many kids who just gave up on having teachers pronouncing their names correctly and when they incorrectly said their names they were like "you can just call me that, its fine," and no one else ever thought of it as a big deal but it always bothered me.

Oh I do that these days. I mean my name is pretty phonetic but teachers always have so much trouble. I wish I could’ve legally changed my name to Nika so that I didt have to worry about it. Tbh that stuff bothers me too. I mean, teachers don’t even try half the time!!
-Mod N

Do not ever fucking tell me nobody cares when you kill yourself

Me and my boyfriend’s friend killed himself two months ago and my boyfriend doesn’t cry but he stays up every night until five in the morning out of fear of sleeping because he has the same dream every night of seeing him. Last night my boyfriend broke down crying at five in the morning telling me how much he fucking misses him and how in his dream it’s like a god damn memory and every single time he tries to tell him not to do it, my boyfriend’s world is turning slower because our friend’s stopped completely, and just its terrible and you always feel like shit because you wish you would have known and it makes you break down because you can’t help, I miss him, his kid misses him, his wife misses him, everyone I know is broken because we were all there for him and he left, he will never see his son take his first steps and that breaks my heart because it gets better, everything does if you just stay strong during shitty times, don’t kill yourself please I’m fucking begging you

After the constant bombardment today of people gloating at me over the revelation of Josh Duggar’s absolutely horrific choices while disguised as a man of God, I have finally found the words I wish I had thought to say at the time. 

Feel free to skip my post if this ain’t your thing (Christian viewpoint ahead); I harbor no hard feelings, dears. :)

Keep reading

ok real talk my english teacher this year has such a big bulge either that or he wears really tight pants but still and like it prominently sticks out on one side of his pants and like i want to pay attention to him and not stare but that thing is fucking distracting like are you sure you’re wearing underwear?

I woke up early for a single reason today. Do the grocery shopping before the entire student body of ISU/IWU and their parents descend upon the Meijer. WELCOME BACK STUDENTS. I am staying far away from that side of town today. Far far away.

At this time of year, I have “I Wish I Could Go Back to College” from Avenue Q stuck in my head on repeat. I mean, cookie delivery service alone, wow. 

I lost weight when I got to college (pro-tip: be a picky eater, walk/bike everywhere, and don’t drink) but cookie delivery? I’d be in trouble.

Anyways, here’s a to-do list for the day:

  • Package up meats to put in freezer
  • Prep lunches (chicken/green beans or carrots/sweet potato)
  • Fold and put away clothes
  • clean out purse
  • Read full chapter in textbook
  • Dance practice (at home and rehearsal)
  • try to finish smut

Seminary, Questions I Never Had Answered
In honor of the many Seminary “kickoffs” going on right now, I thought it would be apt to share my seminary experience. See, LDS Seminary is supposed to be the first time you really get to learn the gospel and history of the church in depth (or so I thought). However, much to my disappointment, I found that many of my questions were left unanswered. So, if you’re getting ready for a year of seminary, or to send your kids off to seminary, here are some things I wish I had answered.

Old Testament:

Why are we reading the Pearl of Great Price if it does not match up with the associated Egyptian Papyri? Why did Joseph Smith totally get the translation wrong if God was guiding him?
Is the Genesis creation story literal? If not, why have countless LDS prophets taught it was?
Why was the ark of Noah built to impossible proportions? No wooden ship can be that large, or it would sink.
How could God flood the entire earth, and  yet we have such a wealth of Biological diversity today? There is no genetic, or biological record indicating a mass extinction at the time of Noah’s Ark.
Why did Moses tell Israel that the law of Moses would be the law “forever and ever”? I thought that the law was temporary, and fulfilled by Christ. With that kind of wording, I could see why the Jews were hesitant to follow Jesus Christ.
Why is there no evidence for the Exodus occurring? Is it also a metaphor? If so, what does that mean for the chain of Priesthood authority, and the dispensations of the Gospel?
Why did God prescribe the death penalty for so many of his laws? Why does he not prescribe this anymore?
Why did God command the children of Israel to frequently slaughter their enemies, and take their women as their war conquests to rape?
Why does the temple and its ordinances have nothing to do with what we do in it now?
Why is there not more mention of the Aaronic and Melchizedek Priesthoods?
Why did God slaughter kids for making fun of Elijah’s bald head?
Why did God need to let Job suffer so much? If God is omniscient, he already knew the outcome. All he need do is explain to Satan that Job would never yield.
Why was the Old Testament full of historical inaccuracies, human rights violations, and scientific errors? If God is perfect, why did he give so much flawed information to the Israelites? Here is a link to everything “wrong” in the Old Testament -
Why is the manual so anti-Semitic?

New Testament:

Why did nobody get baptized in the Old Testament? If it is so necessary, where did it come from?
Why does God tell his disciples there is no need for authority to act in his name? The disciples chastised a man for acting in the name of Jesus without proper authority, and he told them to leave the man be, saying “whoever is not against us, is with us”?
Why heal blindness for a few people, but not eliminate blindness all together? Truly, if Jesus was merciful, he would heal all sickness.
Why are there no more miraculous healings today? Why are there no more miracles?
Is Pontius Pilate guilty of Christ’s death? Historically speaking, he did not really have much of choice - unless he wanted an armed insurrection.
Why did the disciples keep saying the end of the world was near? It’s only been, about 2,000 years?
Why is the manual so anti-Semitic?

Book of Mormon

Why don’t all the world languages come from a single source? If the tower of Babel was a real story, wouldn’t that be the case?
Why are there countless mentions of things that never existed in the Americas? Things like wheat, chariots, bees, and various weaponry?
Why doesn’t the archaeology support the story of the Book of Mormon?
How did the Jaredites build wooden submarines that withstood such a long voyage, with so much cargo?
Why do the “atheist Antichrists” actually believe in God? I have never met an atheist like them, or heard of one.
Why does Moroni’s promise only work if you want it to be true? Shouldn’t it be manifest to anyone who asks, regardless of attitude?
If this book is SO perfect, why haven’t more people believed it and joined the church? And why does it have so many scientific, historical, and other errors? Why aren’t scholars praising it?
Where is the plan of salvation, temple, and other parts of the modern church? I thought this contains the fullness of the gospel?
Why do the stories resemble the Old Testament, why is Isaiah copied word for word, and why is there so much of the Bible in here? Even parts that did not exist yet?

Doctrine and Covenants/Church History

Why did we never use historical, or non-LDS documents? Everything we studied was produced by us.
Why did the Latter Day Saints draw such animosity? It seems they might not have been the best neighbors.
Why does it say no man can see the face of God and live without the priesthood, yet Joseph Smith saw God without the priesthood and lived?
God apparently was okay with keeping African Americans out of the celestial kingdom for so long? I thought he was no respecter of persons? Why not give the revelation to give them the priesthood earlier?

I genuinely believed Seminary could answer these questions for me. Instead, these issues were either avoided or I was told to “stop questioning” so much. So, if you’re in Seminary this year, and have such questions, ask them!

After all, that is the place to learn about the gospel, right? And if the Gospel is perfect, there is an answer for everything.

- Maximo Larkin  8/16/2015

The Fucking kids in my gym who compete nationally did this bouldering exercise where they picked a fairly easy overhung route but the catch was that they had to touch every hold with their foot before they were allowed to touch it with their hands so they were doing this crazy spidermonkey shit to get their feet up and down and left and right and Damn… I wish I had the control they have! Bunch of Fucking teenage rock God’s and goddesses.

I was tagged by the super nice my-chemical-iero to do the 30 questions tag. The rules are, tag the person who tagged you, answer the questions and tag 20 people!

How tall are you? ah man I’m super short so around 5'3
What color and style is your hair? Revenge era Frank
What color are your eyes? grey but they change with the weather
Do you wear glasses? oh god I wish, I have trouble seeing but my oculist thinks I’m perfectly fine
Do you wear braces? nope
What is your fashion style? awful
When were you born? October 12 1997!
Where are you from and where do you live now? I’m from Milan, Italy but I moved to Rome when I was a kid
What school do you go to? I’m about to start my fifth and last year at my French international high school finally
What kind of student are you? a really stressed out one that works too much and usually fucks it all up because of their anxiety
Do you like school? yeah I mean it’s interesting
What are your favorite school subjects? sciences English and German
Favorite TV shows? Bones, Criminal Minds and House MD
Favorite movies? Requiem For A Dream and The Rocky Horror Picture Show but I’m not really into movies
Favorite books? Wasted by Marya Hornbacher, naïf.super and Doppler by Erlend Loe, Bone By Bone by Carol O'Connell and The Heroin Diaries by Nikki Six
Favorite pastime? listening to music and either drawing or writing
Do you have any regrets? I mean yeah but they’re just kinda there, they don’t really harm me
Dream job? musician, writer or tattoo artist
Would you like to be married someday? yup yup
Would you like to have kids someday? I’m not into kids all that much really
How many? I guess one or two
Do you like shopping? for band stuff yup. also for my girlfriend because it’s like buying stuff for myself and not feeling guilty for it
What countries have you visited? England, Austria, France, Belgium, Holland, Germany, Dublin in a few weeks, and Tennessee and Indiana in the US even though we drove through other states as well
The scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? oh man let’s not go there, it was just awful
Do you have enemies? I don’t think so? I mean I know not everybody likes me but that’s really it
Do you have a s/o? yup and she’s the most important person in my life
Do you believe in miracles? yeah man why not

I tag ifyoucouldonlyhearme, thisl4dyoftheflowers, watxrcolour, desolationfrnk, americasuuitehearts, bandsandbadhabits, earlysunsetsovermikeyway, jessolation-row, cinderdlock-garden, imaslutforlysforseth, just-another-lost-person, prettyparamore, littleanklebiters, poppxnk-af, frankierotrash, dre4ms-vs-reality, wordstoalovesong, panicatthediscow, stomachiero and tragicianfrnk!

There are days where I go to the site where we visit 600-700 children in section eight housing and my heart gets overwhelmed.

In each apartment lives at least three to four kids plus parents. These families are crammed into housing too small for their size. the environment surrounding them is just as unimaginable. Drugs. Human Trafficking. Violence. Gangs.

As a child I grew up and played on several acres of land. Every wish and desire I had was handed to me by my parents. There were hardships - there was pain and abuse, but non in comparison to what these children suffer.

I wondered. How can I help? Can I even make a difference? God, how did I grow up so privilege, yet these children don’t have the same opportunities I have had and still have.

But then my God showed up. He showed me just how BIG, how POWERFUL, and how LOVING He truly is. These children were not sad, but overjoyed we were there to sing with them and talk about Jesus. We danced and laughed together. They are so eager to hear about this man who is their King. What an opportunity I have been given to share about my wonderful King and bring them into his presence!

I have no answers as to why I am more privileged than these small humans. But I do know my God will still use me even in my weakness and inability to understand their lives. I may never have those answers, all I need to know is who my God is and he carries this load for us. The only thing we really need to do is remember who God is and that he will carry us. In the words of will Reagan “Take a moment to remember who God is and who I am - there you go lifting my load again”

Wisconsin Trans Teen Bullied for Femininity Dies by Suicide
Cameron Langrell, 15, came out as trans on Facebook days before she decided to end her life.

Suicide is never okay, bullying is never ok. Why would anyone want one of God’s beloved creations (or the Universe’s beautiful creations, to each their own) to feel this much pain? Kids can be HORRIBLE. She’s practically the same age as my brother…

I’m so sorry, Cameron, you were meant to have a beautiful future. I hope you’re closer to the love and divinity that sustains this existence now than during your life.

Also can I just say F*CK the Midwest. People disparage the American South but holy crud can people dish it out in the Midwest. Cameron, I wish you could have travelled the world and made so many beautiful places your home.

anonymous asked:

Hi so, quick question. How would you feel if someone wrote something that was sort of inspired by/and possibly referenced things from Triangulation? Sort of like a parallel universe, of sorts? I don't want to overstep, you've just laid out such a perfect origin for them.


anonymous asked:

Oh man that Slenderman thing... I KNEW that I'm right for worrying because small kids in school are obsessed with FNAF. I wish parents paid more attention to what the hell do their kids play...

I don’t believe that video games can cause violence in themselves. Serial killers were around before pong, and stuff. But slenderman’s lore is that you get taken over by it to do it’s will, basically. And that can include murdering people. That’s what those girls believed. They actually felt like it was true.

Now put people who actually believe they’re flesheating gods in this situation. Who think it’s OK to be flesheating gods, just like those girls felt like it was ok to be murdering vessels of slenderman. Take those flesheating gods, and create a COMMUNITY of them. An entire community of people who honestly believe they are above humans and who honestly believe they are gods and can smite/kill/eat people at their will. That they have the RIGHTS to feel like that. Someone is gonna get killed one day. 

This is no different from that group Elliot Rodger was in. He was enabled to feel this way. People encouraged him to feel like these girls he killed owed something to him and he felt like he was above them. His behavior was enabled and no one thought he was gonna kill someone. Even when he claimed he would, no one believed. That’s what gonna happen here one day, cause tumblr is enabling the same behavior, only under the guise of “these people are mentally ill and theyre coping”

Threatening/claiming to want to murder/smite/eat/be above humans is never a good coping mechanism. Ever.

That’s scary, man.

murkoffjanitor asked:

✄ ∞

✄ : Anything you wish you could cut out?
∞ : Do any of your childhood friends still know you?

“Cut out? Um, maybe all the times I got detention. Almost got expelled for punching a guy in the nads, but thank God I had rich parents who paid the principle to allow me to continue on to graduation. Hey, that guy punched me first! So sue me! And childhood friends? Most of the kids I grew up with were snobby-ass rich kids who thought they were the shit and better than everyone else. I hated every single one of them. So no, I don’t have any childhood friends, let alone any I still talk to.”

me, insulting a middle aged woman
  • me:i bet you were one of those girls who really liked horses as a kid and you always read horse books and had horse posters in your room and wished you could talk to horses because no one would talk to you because you were the weird horse girl. It might not have even been horses; it could have been dogs or dolphins, but i'll bet anything on that; that you were that god damned horse girl.
  • woman:sobs
Fatigue, airports, and pondering

I’m at the airport feeling restless and uncomfortable. I need to start getting more sleep. Some kid is crying and it is pissing me off. I hope that if I have kids they aren’t so rude and annoying. If I ever have children I’m going to research how to make them not turn into brats.

I want to change; I am wearing such an uncomfortable outfit. I get annoyed by so many things when I am tired. Like yesterday I was on the bus and I moved seats about five times because I kept finding things wrong with every seat until I realized the seats were assigned. God I’m in such a poop mood. I wish I could just have some coffee, but then I def won’t get sleep but will get yellow teeth which is my worst nightmare.

Last night I slept at Milos’ house so I would be close to the airport for my flight this morning. It was very nice. We looked at the stars but I kept getting mosquito bites. I was thinking about how tiny and meaningless I am in the universe and I can’t decide whether that is depressing or comforting. I mean it is shitty because each person wants so badly to feel important and precious, but also it makes me feel less pressure to impress anyone. I mean if I’m so insignificant in this seemingly endless pool of galaxies then it doesn’t matter what I wear or if I am bi.

Now I am on the plane. I feel pretty good. I am in the exit row so I can’t have my bag by me but its okay because it’s a short flight. It should be an hour or so. I am a little nervous for getting my train ticket but I’m sure it will be fine. My back seems to be doing better (knock on wood) so that is a relief. However, I believe I have a cavity because one tooth hurts when I have something cold. I only have my French Harry Potter book for entertainment right now. I love that autocorrect capitalized “potter” for me. It’s really funny how first class and economy class are separated by a curtain, as if we might infect others with our poverty.

Life is very good. I feel so fortunate to have so many great friends and wonderful opportunities. There are just certain things that cause tiny itches inside my brain when I’m perfectly content otherwise. One of those things is what I should do next semester. Should I go to Africa????? It is making me crazy. It’s also embarrassing because I have changed my mind about it so much. Like it will totally humiliating to email the school again to say I’ve changed my mind, I think it will be the fifth time? It’s not that I really don’t want to go it’s just that I want to go to Lewis and Clark more. I love my school. I know things seem better when looking back because you remember all the good parts, but still. I have so many extreme memories of Lewis and Clark. Both wonderful and heart breaking.

I miss Mystical Groves because that was such a rock for me. I loved all of the members so much and each meeting I felt that I was growing and developing into a stronger, better person. I think it is one of the main things that is causing me to feel a tugging sensation for Portland. I also fell in love with Serious Club where I got to hang out with such creative, welcoming people and be totally silly and myself. And I miss my friends, the exceptional professors, the theatre, lectures, and the Bon. I don’t miss my anxiety and depression, but I think the years of therapy have actually helped heal me, along with the amazing people in my life who support me through the rough times.

Anyway, stupid plane making me all sentimental. I should just get back to Harry Potter and stay quiet for a bit, but there is so much bouncing around in my head. I feel like I could go on and on forever, but I will probably bore everyone. Serbia was great and I am ready for food and sleep now.
P.S. I wonder who makes the sandwiches they pass out on the airplane. Machines, or an assembly line of people who have agreed sandwiches should have more mayo in them than meat and cheese combined.

December 24, 2011.

I got this picture of her, God we were just youngins’.
She looked so beautiful, not that she doesn’t everyday, but I’ll never forget that picture.
Beautiful. She was wearing this black dress, her legs long and tan and beautiful. Her hair straight, even though I love the wild curly better, but God did she look beautiful. & that smile, lord that smile.
She wasn’t even mine and I stared at that picture for hours wishing she was. I knew then and there that she would mean the world to me.
4 years ago, we were just kids.