god i will regret that tag

Regarding Season 13...

Is it too much to ask for Luci and Mikey to be happy together for once? Can’t AU Michael NOT try to kill Lucifer a bloody second time? Can’t he break down and regret killing his Luci and our Lucifer awkwardly try cheer him up then realises how much he misses his Mikey he drove absolutely batshit who wants to hate him but is just lonely in the cage missing him? 

God damn it Supernatural stop tearing these brothers and my heart apart. God damn it fanfiction stop giving me false hope. I just want the archangel brothers to be happy God dammit make Luci bond with AU Gabriel and Raphael maybe just stop torturing us archangel fans for once and let them actually be happy as brothers for once

… Only Supernatural would make me say ‘God damn it’ three times in three sentences in a row. That’s how sad the archangels made me

There are definitely many things worth criticizing in Steven Universe, but it’s weird because one of the biggest criticisms I see is something I personally love about the show?

It’s a lot of criticisms that basically boil down to “pacing”. 

Like “They keep setting up this big mysteries and then not paying off on them!” or “A big thing happens and then we get right back into filler episodes!” and like

Yeah? Exactly. IDK what to tell you. 

Rebecca Sugar is like reverse Steven Moffat, I almost feel like. She sets things up without you even knowing anything is being set up, so it doesn’t build tension, but then when you get the payoff it’s satisfying and obvious. Or, alternatively, she introduces a big plot element, and it’s like “Are we ever going to address this?” and then, eventually, when it naturally comes up, we finally do. 

We saw Connie’s glow bracelet in episode 1, and didn’t even know it was foreshadowing until we me Connie 8 episodes later. We didn’t learn Garnet was a fusion until 50 episodes in. 

We met Lion in episode 10, and there were SO MANY QUESTIONS. What is he? Where do his powers come from? What is his connection to Rose? And we never directly got answers to those questions - instead they were indirectly answered in a “filler” episode about a historical Beach City in episode 106 that really only raised more questions than it answered, followed by the most recent episode, 132, which was about Lars and Homeworld and also, you know, incidentally answered the entire Lion mystery. 

Over three years after it was introduced we finally learned what Lion’s deal is, and it wasn’t even in a Lion-centric story. But you know what? It was still satisfying. At least, I thought so. 

I don’t get the feeling that that explanation was made up. Watching it, I get the feeling Rebecca Sugar knew three years ago what was up with Lion. She just wasn’t going to incorporate it until it became immediately relevant. 

It’s slow, honest, sprawling worldbuilding that I can really fucking get behind. The writers know what this world is and who these characters are, they just aren’t going to force exposition or explanations where they wouldn’t naturally occur if they can avoid it. 

IDK, the whole “we just introduced this big new thing, but now the characters are just dinking around? Living their lives? Why???” thing is, to me, at least a solid half of the draw. I like the show is approachable, that the tension is present but not overbearing. 

It feels like life. Big, life-changing, worldview shifting things happen. And at the same time that it changes everything, it doesn’t actually change very much at all. 

A good friend dies suddenly, you still have to make yourself lunch. Your parents are getting a divorce, you still hang out with your friends and maybe even act like everything is normal. And maybe even forget while you’re hanging out with your friends what is going on at home. You get arrested, get out on bail, know you have a huge case coming up that could determine your whole future, you still play video games for a couple hours the next night, you still go to work the next day. You’re working with your lawyers and everyone to put together your case, of course, but normal life doesn’t stop. It rarely ever does.

IDK, I see these criticisms like “They introduces Bismuth and then just benched her!” or “They introduced the cluster and then it didn’t actually do anything” and it’s like, yet. I have no reason not to trust that those things won’t be coming back around. Everything else in this show has, in time, come back around so far. From seemingly insignificant side characters, to weird locations, to random trivia. 

There’s an old saying, “things change slowly, until they change all at once”, and it has, in my life, generally proven to be true. And it seems to be the Steven Universe approach to story pacing. And I, personally, really really like it. And it’s cool if you don’t. But I don’t think I’d like the show as much if it weren’t so chill. It’s a show that drips along in tiny, soothing, sentimental increments. 

It’s fine if that’s an aspect of the show you don’t like. I have preferences and there are things I don’t like even though they’re arguably good. But I keep seeing people propose it as an aspect of the show that is bad writing. And, I just can’t wrap my head around that? It’s perfectly fine writing. It’s even, often, great writing. I prefer a slow and quiet accruement to a plot-heavy infodump any fucking day. Not that there isn’t often call for the latter, depending on the story you want to tell and how you want to tell it. But I prefer the former. 

So far I haven’t been given any indication there isn’t a planned followthrough for all the many, many threads Steven Universe has laid. They’ve successfully followed through enough times before, often on things we weren’t even aware we should be looking out for, that I imagine they’ll keep doing so. The only reason I ever see the show failing to do so, and having a rushed and unsatisfying end, is time. If they get prematurely cancelled, or prematurely decide to end things out of personal desire to work other projects, then yeah, SU could end badly. Lots of stuff could end up unexplained or given a quick unsatisfying end. But there’s no evidence of that yet, so right now I’m going to take the pacing choices as just that. Choices. Good ones, that I like. Even if they aren’t to everyone’s taste. 


As the poets say.  (insp)

Clean Me, Daddy | 30.03.17
  • Phil: "Why aren't you cleaning us?" said Candice. Oh...
  • Dan: Excuse me?
  • Phil: Last time I did a live show, I accidentally ordered 300 cleaning wipes.
  • Dan: I know. I've seen them.
  • Phil: So, you can have the honour of cleaning them.
  • Dan: Excuse me?
  • Phil: The webcam. It's a bit grubby, so you know give them a clean. Give them a wipe. Someone just said "clean me, daddy".
  • Dan holds the cleaning wipe with regret. Phil burst out laughing and Dan starts speaking in a high pitched voice.
  • Dan: Yeah, I read that too. What is this?
  • Phil: It wasn't this weird when I did it!
  • Dan: There's a section of your live show where...
  • Phil: No, it's not a section!
  • Dan: ... you clean them?
  • Phil: No, I'm just saying we're slightly blurry and they'd like to see us in 1080pHD quality.
  • Dan: No, you planned this. It's a section where you clean the audience. Now everyone is saying "clean me".
  • Phil: They liked it. Just do it! I'll make the sound effect.
  • Dan: There's dozen of tens of thousands of people saying "clean me" right now.
  • Phil: Dan, clean them. Clean them!
  • Dan: Jesus Christ.
  • Phil: Do it! It's what you signed up to do.
  • Dan suppressing a regretful chuckle, Phil grinning so damn wide.
  • Dan: Oh my God, stop! The chat! Frick. Even the YouTube comments are going to be ruined. Oh, whatever you fricking..
  • Dan wipes the webcam while Phil makes the sound effect.
  • Phil: That's the noise of the cleaning wipe. Look how clear we are now though. My pores are here.
  • Dan: And yet, I feel dirty.
101 Writing Prompts

1. “I didn’t know you two were related.” “We didn’t either.”

2. “I’m not saying I’m gay, but I would be if they were asking.”

3. “I’ve tried my hardest to fall for you, but it’ll always be them.”

4. “I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before.”

5. “I didn’t even want to come to this party. You lied to me about the pinata.”

6. “Spin the bottle is such a cliché. I’m in.”

7. “I have to go in there with you? I didn’t sign up to play 7 minutes in hell .”

8. “That’s not how you pronounce my name and I’m not even sure you tried.”

9. “Are you new here?” “We’ve been in the same math class for six years.”

10. “You really shouldn’t touch that… I told you.”

11. “I recognise you. Do you have a dog.”

12. “ You’ve never seen Harry Potter?

13. “Can’t we just lay here for a minute?”

14. “We have to stop running into each other like this.”

15. “Is it weird if I say that your dad’s really hot?”

16. “I know it’s 2am but can we meet up?”

17. “I don’t know how we ended up sleeping together but I know I’m mad about it.”

18. “Whatever you do, just don’t tell anybody!”

19. “I don’t come here often, it brings back unwanted memories.”

20. “They told me I’d forget about you; that I’d move on but it’s been three years and here I am.”

21. “I’ve waited so long for this moment, but now it’s here I don’t know how to feel.”

22. “You can’t just say that and then disappear!”

23. “I always hear my neighbour playing this beautiful music, but I’ve never actually met them.”

24. “Would it be alright if I pet your dog?”

25. “I’m so sorry to bother you this late but an owl got in my house and I have no idea how to get it out.”

26. “We can’t call the police! They’ll never believe us!”

27. “Why are you buying plane tickets? Are you leaving?”

28. “I swear I’ve seen them before in a dream.”

29. “I don’t want to be your partner either but we have to get this assignment done.”

30. “I never hated you, you just make me feel things I don’t understand.”

31. “It’s your fault, and I don’t think this is something you can fix.”

32. “This isn’t easy for me either.”

33. “I would never do this to you if I didn’t have to. You know that, right?”

34. “Can you at least promise me that?” “I don’t think I can, not this time.”

35. “I’m sorry but it’s very hard to focus when you’re dressed like that.”

36. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard to you want me to hit you?”

37. “I’d be scared if I were you.”

38. “You can’t go in there alone .”

39. “This seems like a lot of effort to go to for a mediocre joke.”

40. “Delete that picture right now or Mr.Snuggles gets it!”

41. “You didn’t go through my photos did you?!”

42. “Uhhh, I went through your photos and I have some questions.”

43. “I swear to god, if you tag me in one more bad meme I’ll make you regret it.”

44. “I really want to kiss you right now. I know I shouldn’t, and somehow that makes me want it more.”

45. “You have individual ringtones for everyone? What’s mine?”

46. “ Why wouldn’t you lock the door?

47. “Did you know kissing burns calories?” “I’m happy with my weight, thanks.”

48. “Your bad pickup lines aren’t cute, they’re just bad.”

49. “I’ll give you fifty bucks if I can take you to Christmas dinner and tell my family we’re together. They always ask if I’m dating and I can’t have that conversation again.”

50. “I don’t think you’re ever too old for trick-or-treating.”

51. “We’re dressing up for Halloween this year and that’s final.”

52. “I forgot what we were fighting about in the first place.” “I didn’t.”

53. “Fuck you.” “Not with that attitude.”

54. “90% of people admit to having at least a slight bondage kink, and 10% are lying about it.”

55. “I don’t understand why you won’t just use a map on your phone.”

56. “You know my house has a door? You don’t always have to use the window.”

57. “The truth is, my friends dared me to ask you out, but I’m really glad they did.”

58. “You know, I was joking in that birthday card when I said I’d help you hide a body.”

59. “Can we please turn off this song.” “But it’s a masterpiece .”

60. “I’ve known you for two years and I think I’ve been saying your name wrong the whole time.”

61. “Wow, you really are blind!” “Thanks for the update, can I have my glasses back now?”

62. “It might be petty but you borrowed my pencil three weeks ago and I’m gonna need it back.”

63. “I think they have a crush on you, which sucks because I’m kinda into them.”

64. “Just go and talk to them, they dont bite!” “What if biting turns me on? If they dont do it then what’s the point?”

65. “You can’t say that in front of children!”

67. “Seven years old is practically an adult.”

68. “Dude I ordered this on eBay and you have to see what they sent me.”

69. “I didn’t realise it meant so much to you.”

70. “I wish I was sorry, but I don’t regret any of it.”

71. “My friend thinks you’re cute, personally I don’t get it but this isn’t about me right now.”

72. “Not everything is about you!” “Untrue.”

73. “You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.”

74. “This is why I hate family dinners! It always gets awkward.”

75. “This can only end two ways and neither of them are pretty.”

76. “Not everything can be butterflies and rainbows! Things get hard sometimes, that’s just how it is!”

77. “My mom told me I shouldn’t talk to strangers, and you’re definitely strange.”

78. “I can’t believe you fell asleep when I was showing you my favourite movie of all time.”

79. “You shouldn’t be out here alone, it’s dangerous.”

80. “I could lie here with you forever. I wish I didnt have to leave.”

81. “Everything’s changing and I hate it! I liked the way things were.”

82. “You look so incredible, if that didn’t look so good on you I’d probably tear it off.”

83. “Do you think they noticed that we left?”

84. “The funny thing is, you could have fixed this and you didn’t even try.”

85. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? I’m only asking because it hurt when I did and I thought I might have done it wrong.”

86. “That was super cheesy and I’m lactose intolerant.”

87. “You didn’t tell me you were gay!” “You didn’t tell me you weren’t.”

88. “Your friend told me you had a crush on me, I just wanted to let you know your friend is a snake.”

89. “Are you staring at me or are you staring past me?”

90. “If you we’re a guy/girl would you go out with me?” “I am a guy/girl.”

91. “Sounds stupid. When are we doing it?”

92. “Can we tell my parents that I’m at your house, just incase they get suspicious?”

93. “This is the part in the movie where we kiss or one of us dies. My fingers are crossed for option one.” “Speak for yourself.”

94. “I’m offended that you don’t have more faith in me but, honestly, it’s understandable given past experience.”

95. “Its just a blind date! What’s the worst that could happen?” “I could literally die.”

96. “I would light myself on fire to keep you warm and you wouldn’t even hand me a coat if I were freezing.”

97. “I trusted you, and so I guess I should have seen this coming.”

98. “I had a really weird sex dream about you and I’m not sure how I feel about it, honestly.”

99. “Okay, but this is the last time I bail you out!”

100. “All I know is that if you don’t tell me to stop I’m going to kiss you.”

101. “I’m not sure when it happened, but I fell in love with you, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

i just pictured like. shiro being lances celebrity crush and shiro being so AWKWARD when he found out

shiro: you know nothing is going to happen right
lance: i know
shiro: ur like. a baby. ur so young ??
lance: shiro i know
shiro: and im ur superior officer it just wouldnt be appropriate
lance: shiro. i know.
shiro: i just dont want to give u any false hope
lance: i regret ever telling you

irishsandwich  asked:

Hiii can you please do an imagine where Tom thinks his girlfriend Y/N is cheating on him, but she just spends a lot of time on her new job she is kinda shy about because she is a usual girl and he is famous? xx

of course!

don’t forget to ask me some questions and request some imagines!

Originally posted by tom-hollcnd

you got home from a longs day at work to Tom sitting on the couch, staring blankly ahead at the tv in-front of him. you knew he didn’t know you had a job, it’s not something you really wanted him to know about, so you always cover it up with your mom needing you for a couple hours.

“hey.” you said, fixing your white t-shirt, adjusting the bag on your shoulder that held the job uniform in it.

he didn’t answer you, instead he just ignored you. you raised your eyebrows. this has never happened before. this wasn’t like Tom. if something was bothering him, he’d confront you. right?

“Tom.” you said, trying to get his attention. he sighed before taking his eyes off the screen and looking at you.

“what?” he asked.

you felt something hit you hard as his words were filled with attitude. he’s never acted like this towards you. never. so, what has gotten into him?

“never mind.” you mumbled before walking off towards your shared bedroom and putting the clothes in the laundry room. you walked into the bathroom and pulled your hair up, washing off your makeup form the day. 

the bakery you worked at had you exhausted. mentally and physically, but you loved it there. you’ve always had a passion for baking, even Tom knows that you’d rather bake then do anything else on a rainy Saturday afternoon. 

plus, your chocolate chip cookies were to die for.

you sighed before walking out into the living room again. you didn’t really want to talk to Tom since he wanted to be so moody, but you had to make sure he had at least eaten. 

“did you have dinner?” you asked. he snapped his head towards you, furrowing your eyebrows.

“yeah, i can feed myself you know, i’m a big boy, i’m 21 years old.” 

you grew annoyed, finally not being able to keep your calm,”what the hell is your problem?”

he sighed before closing his eyes and shaking his head.

“i’m serious, Tom. the fuck is wrong with you?” 

he stood up,”you know what’s wrong with me? you! you, y/n! you’re what’s wrong with me!”

the words made your heart hurt. what have you done? what did you do wrong?

“w-what are you talking about?” you stumbled finding words, your eyes getting glossy.

“you’re my problem! i’m here staying so devoted to you, staying so damn loyal to you when i’m out on the road when i could get any girl i want, but i stay loyal to you because i love you! but, what do i get in return? you cheating on me behind my back! and the funny thing is, you act like nothing happened when you get home!”

you took a deep breath, then it hit you.

he thought since you’ve been gone for so long working that you’ve been cheating.

“no, no.” you said quickly,”it’s not what it looks like, i promise-”

he cut you off,”save it, y/n.” he scoffed,”don’t even try to deny it when you go so early in the morning to when you get back home at 8:00 every night. you come home sweaty, you come home with your clothes wrinkled! i’m not dumb!”

“Tom, if you would shut up a second and let me explain-” you said but before you could say another word, he cut you off again.

“go ahead. explain to me why you’re being such a fucking slut.” he said. and with that, your blood was boiling. you angrily wiped the tears off your face before storming to your laundry room.

you snatched the bag off the floor before walking out and throwing it at him, he caught it but still didn’t wipe off the angry look off his face.

“open it.” you said angrily.

“what the fuck, no-”

“just fucking open it, Thomas!” you yelled, this time his face softened a little as you had used his full first name. he unzipped the bag and opened it, becoming confused.

he pulled out the maroon button down shirt that said Red Velvet Bakery on the back of it, your name tag attached to the pocket that rested on the right side of your chest, right under where the logo was.

his face dropped before he looked up at you, the tears continued coming down your face.

“so i’m a fucking slut for working? i’m sorry i can’t have everything handed to me, mr. i’m a fucking movie star, oh my god look at me i’m so famous!” you ranted,”and you wanna accuse me of cheating.”

“y/n, darling-” he started, his face becoming instantly full of regret.

“don’t Tom.” you said,”save it, i’m done with you for right now.”  you turned around and walked to your shared bedroom, slamming the door and climbing into the bed. you nuzzled your head into the pillows, immediately recognizing Tom’s scent, only making you cry more.

a few moments later, there was a soft knock at the door. you rolled your eyes as you turned over, facing the large windows as the nighttime rain pattered against the roof.

“go away.” you groaned.

“princess.” he said, his voice soft,”please.”

you waited a few seconds,”fine.”

he opened the door slowly, still holding your work shirt as he stepped into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed in front of you, Tessa climbing up on top of the bed, nuzzling your hand with her nose, trying to figure out why you were upset.

“i’m so sorry.” he said, his voice cracking,”i should’ve never acted that way and i should’ve never said those things about you.”

you let him continue,”i can’t believe i thought you were cheating on me. i mean, you’re the most loyal, kind hearted person in the world, why would i even think that?” 

you could tell he was frustrated with himself.

“oh my god, i don’t deserve you.” he said, lowering his head and looking at the shirt in his hands. 

“i’m so sorry, y/n.” he said,”i know sorry will never fix things, but i truly regret everything i’ve said to you and i truly really do love you and i don’t want to lose the most important thing in my life.”

you felt your heart break as he let out a shaky breath, tears rolling down his cheeks.

you sat up from your laying position and turned him to face you. his brown eyes filled with sorrow and tears rolling down his cheeks. his hair had been messed up, like he had been tugging at it for a while. he let out a shaky sigh, parting his lips as he tried to regain his steady breathing.

“i’m so sorry.” he said, looking into your eyes.

you cracked as you reached up and wiped the tears off his cheeks. you gave him a small smile.

“Tom, it’s okay-”

“no, no it’s not. i called you a slut, i should never ever call a woman a slut, my mum taught me better.” he said ashamed of himself.

you shook your head,”you were just upset, it’s okay.” 

you brought his head to your chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist. you played with his brown curls as you tried to calm him down, but it wasn’t working too well.

“i’m so sorry.” he repeated into your now tear stained shirt. you pulled him from your shirt, looking him in the eyes.

“Tom, Tom look at me.” you said, grabbing his attention. you grabbed his cheeks and wiped away the tears.

“stop crying, please. you’re going to make yourself sick.” you said, face full of concern. he licked his red, chapped lips.

“o-okay.” he said, nodding.

“i love you, okay?” you said, giving him a smile.

“i love you, too.” he breathed, showing his white teeth. you smiled before kissing his forehead and brining his head to your chest.

“i love you so much.” he mumbled against your chest. you smiled softly as you stroked his hair, easing his nerves.

just 2 trophies from platinum! a doodle to celebrate~


“I gave everything. Question me, Mother, yourself, but not that.”

spoilers for new mcga book

i just read the ship of the dead and???? i’m in love??? with this book

like the shipPING IS JUST??? IT’S SO S W E E T

magnus is a total idiot as always but alex is just like “haha he’s my idiot beat him up if you want though he needs some sense knocked into him” and then mallory and halfborn are a happy couple ready to kill each other again


however the lack of blitzstone kinda killed me in the bad way hahahahahah shame on you richard

and then how they do the whole chase space thing?????? i need alex and magnus to be real humans ready to care for literally all the homeless kids. someone needs to make a legit chase space.

also ESTELLE BLOFIS: beauty in baby form


this book was an emotional rollercoaster you guys and by my troth i will never regret buying it five days after it came out

The Best/Worst (or Worst/Best??) Babysitters AU

@eulenstadt and I were talking about an AU in which Jacobi and Maxwell end up emergancy babysitters for Anne Eiffel (and an AU where everyone is ALIVE).  It was hilarious so I am going to share.  

  • Jacobi and Maxwell use Anne to pretend they are actually real adults and not vaguely horrific people when out and about.  “We’re the guardians of this small deaf child, clearly we’re responsible and not at all special intelligence operatives for an evil mega-corporation.” “We’ve never even killed anybody.” “Definitely not more than one person.” 
  • The Wonder Twins pick up ASL very quickly, Jacobi’s used to using hand signals on the ballistics range when he and his coworkers wear ear protection and literally cannot hear one another.  Maxwell’s just a really fast learner.  
  • They use Anne as an excuse to go do things they want to do. I.e. Laser tag. 
    • Jacobi: “Anne wants to play laser tag.” 
    • Maxwell: “How do you know, you didn’t even sign anything to her.” 
    • Jacobi: “ANNE wants to play LASER TAG.” 
    • Maxwell: “…Anne definitely wants to play laser tag.” 
  • And so they play laser tag.  This is a learning experience all around.  
    • Jacobi and Maxwell teach Anne tactics both legitimate and definitely cheating. 
    • Jacobi and Maxwell learn how to have a third person (who isn’t Colonel Kepler) on their team.  
  • Maxwell teaches Anne how to build basic robots out of cans and wires.  Jacobi teaches her how to make Molotov Cocktails.  They burn stuff in a near-by field where a normal babysitter might take a kid to set off baking soda rockets.
  • Anne REALLY likes that Jacobi and Maxwell don’t treat her like a kid but like a tiny adult.  She doesn’t realize this isn’t so much on purpose as because Jacobi and Maxwell have no idea how to act around children.
  • Anne also REALLY likes Jacobi’s robotic arm.  She loves the idea that he’s a grown-up unaffiliated with her school who has a disability, in his case that he’s an amputee.  
  • Anne looks up to Maxwell as this amazing unstoppable wonder.  
  • Anne and Jacobi argue like two children.  They are building a block tower and one of them screws it up.  When it falls they immediately start blaming each other.  “You messed up the foundation!” “You tried to build it too high!” “You nudged it!” “No way!” “I saw you!” 
    • This slowly devolves into “You’re stupid!” “Your face is stupid!” 
    • Maxwell stares at the camera like she’s on The Office. 
    • “Jacobi, she’s six.” “SIX AND WRONG!” 
  • So in other words, Maxwell is her hero, Jacobi is her playmate.  It works out well.  Maxwell thinks Anne is adorable (especially for a human child), Jacobi both has an affection for her and wants to punt her out a window sometimes. 
  • Maxwell is going to make sure Anne becomes a badass when she grows up.  Jacobi is going to make sure she knows how to take care of herself.
  • Eventually Anne makes up name signs for them both.  Maxwell’s is “S” and “Q” while also signing “crown” (she only has two hands so she can’t get the “L” in there).  Jacobi is a “J” over her right arm (she really likes that Jacobi is just some rando who is like her).  Jacobi petitioned for it to be a “J” that turned into the sign for “fire” but it was dubbed too difficult by Maxwell and Anne.    
  • Maxwell strikes a bargain to make Anne take a bath.  When she gets out they can paint Jacobi’s nails.  Jacobi is not privy to this bargain until it is too late. 
    • Maxwell: “Because I hate nail polish!”
    • Jacobi: “AND I DON’T?!” 
    • Maxwell: “You need to step outside of these preconceived gender roles you–” 
    • Jacobi: “Don’t try to make me better myself. I hate bettering myself and you know it.” 
    • He gets his nails painted.  He swears them both to secrecy and whines about it the entire time.  
    • Later, after Anne goes to bed Jacobi peels the nail polish off and bitches at Maxwell.  “Shut up, Jacobi.” “SHE’S DEAF, MAXWELL, SHE CAN’T HEAR ME!” “I know, but I can.” 
  • Doug comes home and everyone is in one piece.  Anne wakes up to tell him about her day.  
  • Anne tells him about laser tag. “Daddy, we kicked ass!” Maxwell immediately regrets teaching Anne that sign.  She blames Jacobi when Doug gives them a wounded look.
  • Anne: “Jacobi taught me how to make cocktails!”
    • Doug: *absolute horror* “WHAT–?!”
    • Jacobi: *quickly, because he still wants Eiffel to pay them* “Nothing alcoholic!” 
    • Doug: “Thank God–”
    • Jacobi: “MOLOTOV cocktails.” 
    • Doug: “THAT’S JUST AS BAD!”
    • Jacobi: “It’s a really important skill!  What if she wants to start a riot!?”
    • Jacobi: “Lots of reasons!”
    • After much argument about how making incendiaries is NOT AN IMPORTANT LIFE SKILL Jacobi says “I had to teach myself!  I saved your curtains, half your kitchen, and a visit to the emergancy room.” 
  • Eiffel pays them like they’re two teenagers.
  • As they go out to the car Jacobi and Maxwell congratulate themselves on a job well done. 
    • Jacobi: “Everyone survived.”
    • Maxwell: “Yep, we did not kill Eiffel’s kid.” 
    • *HIGH FIVE* 
  • Anne: “Daddy, where do Jacobi and Maxwell live?” 
    • Doug: *thinks: Hell, probably.*  “I don’t really know.” 
    • Anne: “Can they babysit again?” 
    • Doug: “…we’ll see.” *this means no, because dammit they make HIM look RESPONSIBLE AND THAT IS TERRIFYING.* 

anonymous asked:

Hi! Could you write Prompto and his s/o having a body swap (for whatever reason maybe a spell idk) and then doing the do cuz why not (nsfw plz) If this makes you uncomfortable, nevermind lol

Deep breath, deep breath, DEEP BREATH. Oh my god, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do this at first, then the ideas kept coming and…welll, I hope it makes you guys as hot and bothered as it did me while writing this, because HOLY FUCKING SHIT MAN. Also, I apologize that it’s long, but I don’t really because I HAVE NO REGRETS. 

But the pronouns-the pronouns were a bitch (is it Prompto’s hair because it’s his body or is it your hair because you’re in Prompto’s body?). I tried my best, hopefully it’s not too confusing. 

Tagging the senpais: @roses-and-oceans @bespectacled-girl @cupnoodle-queen @itshaejinju @gladiolus-mamacitia @xnoctits @themissimmortal

Word Count: 3,246

The silence was unbearable-as if getting separate hotel rooms wasn’t bad enough because of the horrible awkwardness that now ensued in your group, the awkward silence between you and Prompto lying in a single bed just made it worse. Of course, there had only been a single left and the others had insisted you two get that room (since you two were dating already) but you both just lay there awkwardly, almost afraid to touch each other as you both just stared up at the ceiling fan above your bed. 

“What are we going to do?” The whispered thought in the back of your brain finally breached the surface as you looked at Prompto, though the stare was by far the weirdest in your entire life. 

Because you weren’t staring at Prompto’s brilliant blue eyes or at the constellation of freckles in his face. No, you were staring at yourself, at Prompto in your own body. 

Two weeks had gone by since the infamous ‘incident’-or ‘catastrophe’, as Ignis liked to call it. You had been battling some weird new unidentified daemon in the ruins of an old dungeon, a daemon with the appearance of an older woman; her long fingernails were like claws, her skin was sallow and looked like an old piece of wrinkled leather with whisps of white hair over the top of her head. She was truly nightmarish and you had felt your heart leap into your throat when she threw some kind of bottle at you and Prompto, the loud explosion of smoke blinding you and making you choke on the fumes you inhaled. 

And when you finally came to, you saw what had happened. Your bodies were the same, but your spirits or whatever, had switched-you were in Prompto’s body and Prompto was in your body-either way, you knew you were in trouble. 

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