god i love living in the mountains

Masterpost of Ryan Ross singing

For anon: Ryan has provided backing vocals for most pre split panic songs. there’s also loads of clips of him singing w/ friends etc, but I’m listing the ones I found noteworthy.

For Afysco his vocals can be heard clearly on Live In Denver

Songs where he’s had major parts on Pretty Odd include:

Iconic Acoustic Versions:

Covers:

The Young Veins:

Solo Stuff:

Miscellaneous:

saritaadam  asked:

Quick question: is the Philippines mythology really that gay? Because, if the answer's yes I need more of it in my life asap

Let me tell you about the God of Death, Sidapa. He used to be a sky god, handsome and tall, but for some unknown reason, he went to live on earth, on a very tall mountain. On earth, Sidapa’s priestesses were called the “babaylan” (or Catalonan)
the babaylan usually comprised of Trans women, but occasionally, a cis woman may become a babaylan.
Sidapa was very merciful, despite being the Philippine equivalent of a grim reaper;
He was known to extend one’s life every now and then.
Now, when Sidapa was not performing his duties as a death god, he was staring at the sky, because there were 7 beautiful lunar deities who performed a dance above the earth. (Dare I say.. he was mooning over them? Hahahaha just kidding, I’m sorry.)
The moon deities were so beautiful, many other gods were in love with them, including a sea goddess called Luyong-Baybay. This goddess tried to sing songs to them, trying to wheedle them from the night sky. Sidapa thought, if she can do it, why can’t I? So Sidapa started asking the mermaids to sing louder and more sweetly, asked the birds to fly higher so their songs could reach the moon, he asked the flowers to bloom, and he asked the fireflies to guide the moons to him with their lights. Eventually, one of the moons, a boy called Libul an, went down to earth for a visit. Sidapa fell in love with him.
As I mentioned before, many gods and goddesses were in love with the 7 moons, but more than gods did these lunar deities attracted. There was a giant sea serpent, who crept to the sky. He was called Bakunawa, the moon-eater. Bakunawa either wanted to devour the moons, or make one of them his spouse, but Sidapa was having none of that;
He went up the heavens, slew Bakunawa and rescued Libulan.
And yes, Sidapa and Libulan got married. Libulan crept down from his cosmic abode to live with Sidapa in his mountain.

They say that you’ll find love when you least expect it. when you have learned to love yourself first. it’s there right under your nose. love lives in that kiss. let me tell you. I have kissed the gods. blown my nose after love has made me cry. I have never loved anyone more than myself. and now I know that my expectations will never be met. love is not going to land in your lap. love is work. and I have worked so hard. how many more of these mountains must I climb alone before I meet someone else’s love along the way and have the strength left to just take it. How long before you realize what you’ve lost. how long before you search for my face in every crowd you see. how long before you come begging at my feet for the love that will light up your constellations once more.

because it seems that I have waited forever

—  Vimal Vallabh, Constellations
the ultimate heathers lyric starter meme ( act 2 )

MY DEAD GAY SON

  • ❛  You wait just a minute, (name)!  ❜
  • ❛  It’s ignorant, hateful talk like yours that makes this world a place that they could not live in.  ❜
  • ❛  They were not dirty!  ❜
  • ❛  They were not wrong!  ❜
  • ❛  They were two lonely verses in the Lord’s great song.  ❜
  • ❛  Our boys were pansies, (name)!  ❜
  • ❛  Yes! My boys a homosexual, and that don’t scare me none.  ❜
  • ❛  I want the world to know, I love my dead, gay son.  ❜
  • ❛  I’ve been thinking. Praying. Reading some magazines.  ❜
  • ❛  It’s time we opened our eyes.  ❜
  • ❛  Well, the good Lord created the universe.  ❜
  • ❛  The Lord created man.  ❜
  • ❛  I believe it’s all a part of His gigantic plan.  ❜
  • ❛  I know God has a reason for each mountain and each flower, and why he chose to let our boys get busy in the shower!  ❜
  • ❛  I never cared for homos much until I reared me one.  ❜
  • ❛  He loves his son.  ❜
  • ❛  Jesus says it’s cool!  ❜
  • ❛  They just had flair!  ❜
  • ❛  They were desperate to be free!  ❜
  • ❛  They took a rebel stance, stripped to their underpants.  ❜
  • ❛  I can’t believe that you still refuse to get a clue after all that we’ve been through.  ❜
  • ❛  I’m talking you and me, in the summer of ‘83.  ❜
  • ❛  That was one hell of a fishing trip.  ❜
  • ❛  Our jobs are now continuing the work that they begun.  ❜
  • ❛  They were good men!  ❜
  • ❛  We’ll teach the world to love.  ❜

SEVENTEEN

  • ❛  Fine, we’re damaged. Really damaged, but that does not make us wise.  ❜
  • ❛  We’re not special. We’re not different.  ❜
  • ❛  We don’t choose who lives and dies.  ❜
  • ❛  Let’s be normal. Watch bad movies, sneak a beer and watch TV.  ❜
  • ❛  Don’t you want a life with me?  ❜
  • ❛  Can’t we be seventeen? That’s all I want to do.  ❜
  • ❛  If you could let me in, I could be good with you.  ❜
  • ❛  People hurt us, or they vanish, and you’re right, it really blows.  ❜
  • ❛  We let go, take a deep breath.  ❜
  • ❛  Don’t stop looking in my eyes.  ❜
  • ❛  Is that so hard to do?  ❜
  • ❛  Let us be seventeen, if we’ve still got the right.  ❜
  • ❛  So what’s it gonna be?  ❜
  • ❛  I want to be with you.  ❜
  • ❛  Yeah, we’re damaged. Badly damaged.  ❜
  • ❛  Your love’s too good to lose.  ❜
  • ❛  Hold me tighter. Even closer.  ❜
  • ❛  I’ll stay if I am what you choose.  ❜
  • ❛  You’re the one I choose.  ❜

SHINE A LIGHT

  • ❛  Deep inside of everyone there’s a hot ball of shame.  ❜
  • ❛  If we show the ugly parts that we hide away, they turn out to be beautiful by the light of day.  ❜
  • ❛  Every day’s a battlefield when pride’s on the line.  ❜
  • ❛  I attack your weakness and pray you don’t see mine.  ❜
  • ❛  If I share my ugly parts and you show me yours, our love can knock our walls down and unlock all our doors.  ❜
  • ❛  Who wants to share what’s in their heart?  ❜
  • ❛  No volunteers? Fine, I’ll start.  ❜
  • ❛  I live alone. My husband left. My kids are grown.  ❜
  • ❛  In the 60s love was free, that did not work out well for me.  ❜
  • ❛  The revolution came and went – tried to change the world, barely made a dent.  ❜
  • ❛  I’ve struggled with despair.  ❜
  • ❛  I’ve joined a cult.  ❜
  • ❛  I chant, I prayed but God’s not there.  ❜
  • ❛  (name) I’m ending our affair!  ❜
  • ❛  I faked it every time.  ❜

LIFEBOAT

  • ❛  I float in a boat in a raging black ocean, low in the water with no where to go.  ❜
  • ❛  The people smell desperate.  ❜
  • ❛  We’ll sink any minute so someone must go.  ❜
  • ❛  Everyone’s pushing! Everyone’s fighting!  ❜
  • ❛  There’s no where to hide.  ❜
  • ❛  The captain is pointing. well who made her captain?  ❜
  • ❛  Still, the weakest must go.  ❜

SHINE A LIGHT (REPRISE)

  • ❛  Aw look, (name) is gonna cry.  ❜
  • ❛  Stupid childproof caps!  ❜
  • ❛  Aw look, (name) is gonna whine all night.  ❜
  • ❛  You don’t deserve to live.  ❜
  • ❛  Why not kill yourself?  ❜
  • ❛  Here, have a sedative.  ❜
  • ❛  Whine, whine, whine like there’s no Santa Clause.  ❜
  • ❛  You’re pathetic because you whine!  ❜
  • ❛  You whine all night!  ❜
  • ❛  Your ass is off the team!  ❜
  • ❛  Go on and bitch and moan.  ❜
  • ❛  You don’t deserve the dream!  ❜
  • ❛  You’re gonna die alone.  ❜

KINDERGARTEN BOYFRIEND

  • ❛  He was sweet, he said that I was smart.  ❜
  • ❛  He was good at sports and people liked him.  ❜
  • ❛  At nap time, once, we shared a mat.  ❜
  • ❛  I didn’t sleep, I sat and watched him breathing.  ❜
  • ❛  I watched him dream for almost half an hour. Then he woke up.  ❜
  • ❛  He pulled a scab off one time playing kickball, kissed me quick and pressed it in my hand.  ❜
  • ❛  I took that scab and put it in a locket, all year long I wore it near my heart.  ❜
  • ❛  He didn’t care if I was thin or pretty.  ❜
  • ❛  He was mine until we hit first grade.  ❜
  • ❛  Last night I dreamed a horse with wings flew down into my home room.  ❜
  • ❛  Now we’re all grown up and we know better.  ❜
  • ❛  Now we recognize the way things are.  ❜
  • ❛  Certain boys are just for kindergarten.  ❜
  • ❛  Certain girls are meant to be alone.  ❜
  • ❛  I believe that any dream worth having, is a dream that should not have to end.  ❜
  • ❛  I’ll build a dream that I can live in, and this time I’m never waking up.  ❜

YO GIRL

  • ❛  Oh my god, is she dead?  ❜
  • ❛  Just another geek trying to imitate the popular people and failing miserably.  ❜
  • ❛  keep it together.  ❜
  • ❛  I knew you would come far.  ❜
  • ❛  Smell how gangsta you are.  ❜
  • ❛  I’m so sorry.  ❜
  • ❛  Feel a bit punchy?  ❜
  • ❛  She’s not looking so well.  ❜
  • ❛  You’ve earned that red scrunchie.  ❜
  • ❛  Come join (name) in hell.  ❜
  • ❛  Where have you been?  ❜
  • ❛  We’ve been worried sick!  ❜
  • ❛  Your friend, (name), stopped by.  ❜
  • ❛  He told us everything.  ❜
  • ❛  He’s got your hand writing down cold.  ❜
  • ❛  Please, honey, talk to us.  ❜
  • ❛  No, you wouldn’t understand.  ❜
  • ❛  Guess who’s right down the block?  ❜
  • ❛  I’ve experienced everything you’re going through.  ❜
  • ❛  Guess who’s climbing the stairs?  ❜
  • ❛  Your problems seem like life and death, I promise they’re not.  ❜
  • ❛  Guess who’s picking your lock.  ❜
  • ❛  You don’t know what my world looks like!  ❜
  • ❛  Times up! Go say your prayers.  ❜
  • ❛  (name)’s running on fumes now.  ❜
  • ❛  (name)’s totally fried.  ❜
  • ❛  (name)’s gotta be tripping on shrooms now.  ❜
  • ❛  (name)’s done for, there’s no doubt now.  ❜
  • ❛  Notify next of kin.  ❜
  • ❛  Too late, he got in.  ❜
  • ❛  Sorry for coming in through the window, dreadful etiquette I know.  ❜
  • ❛  Get out of my house!  ❜

MEANT TO BE YOURS

  • ❛  All is forgiven baby!  ❜
  • ❛  Come on, get dressed! You’re my date to the pep rally tonight!  ❜
  • ❛  You chucked me out like I was trash.  ❜
  • ❛  For that, you should be dead.  ❜
  • ❛  Then it hit me like a flash: what if high school went away instead?  ❜
  • ❛  Those assholes are the key.  ❜
  • ❛  They’re keeping you away from me.  ❜
  • ❛  They made you bling, messed up your mind.  ❜
  • ❛  I can set you free!  ❜
  • ❛  You left me and I fell apart.  ❜
  • ❛  I punched the wall and cried.  ❜
  • ❛  I found you changed my heart and set loose all that truthful shit inside.  ❜
  • ❛  So, I built a bomb!  ❜
  • ❛  Tonight our school is Vietnam.  ❜
  • ❛  Let’s guarantee they never see their senior prom!  ❜
  • ❛  I was meant to be yours.  ❜
  • ❛  We were meant to be one.  ❜
  • ❛  Don’t give up on me now.  ❜
  • ❛  Finish what we’ve begun.  ❜
  • ❛  In the rubble of their tomb, we’ll plant this not explaining why they died.  ❜
  • ❛  Our burned bodies may finally get through to you.  ❜
  • ❛  Your society churns out slaves and blanks, no thanks.  ❜
  • ❛  We’ll watch the smoke pour out the doors.  ❜
  • ❛  Bring marshmallows, we’ll make s’mores.  ❜
  • ❛  We can smile and cuddle while the fire roars.  ❜
  • ❛  I can’t make it alone.  ❜
  • ❛  You were meant to be mine.  ❜
  • ❛  I am all that you need.  ❜
  • ❛  You carved open my heart, can’t just leave me to bleed.  ❜
  • ❛  Open the door please.  ❜
  • ❛  Can we not fight anymore?  ❜
  • ❛  (Name), sure, you’re scared, I’ve been there.  ❜
  • ❛  (Name), don’t make me come in there.  ❜
  • ❛  I’m gonna count to three. 1, 2, fuck it–  ❜
  • ❛  Oh my god.  ❜
  • ❛  Please don’t leave me alone.  ❜
  • ❛  You were all I could trust.  ❜
  • ❛  I can’t do this alone, still, I will if I must.  ❜

DEAD GIRL WALKING (REPRISE)

  • ❛  I wanted someone strong who could protect me.  ❜
  • ❛  I let his anger fester and infect me.  ❜
  • ❛  His solution is a lie.  ❜
  • ❛  No one here deserves to die, except for me and the monster I created.  ❜
  • ❛  Heads up (name).  ❜
  • ❛  I’m a dead girl walking.  ❜
  • ❛  Can’t hide from me.  ❜
  • ❛  There’s your final bell.  ❜
  • ❛  It’s one more dance and then farewell.  ❜
  • ❛  (name) told me you just committed suicide?  ❜
  • ❛  Yeah, well, he’s wrong about a lot of things.  ❜
  • ❛  I through together a lovely tribute, especially considering the short notice.  ❜
  • ❛  What’s under the gym?  ❜
  • ❛  That’s it.  ❜
  • ❛  What’s that sound?  ❜
  • ❛  Give a great big yell!  ❜
  • ❛  Step away from the bomb.  ❜
  • ❛  This little thing? I’d hardly call it a bomb.  ❜
  • ❛  This is just to trigger the packs of thermals upstairs –those are bombs.  ❜
  • ❛  I wish your mom had been a little stronger.  ❜
  • ❛  I wish she’d stayed around a little longer.  ❜
  • ❛  I wish your dad were good.  ❜
  • ❛  I wish grownups understood.  ❜
  • ❛  I wish we’d met before they convinced you life is war.  ❜
  • ❛  I wish you’d come with me.  ❜
  • ❛  I wish I had more TNT!  ❜

I AM DAMAGED

  • ❛  I am damaged. Far too damaged.  ❜
  • ❛  You’re not beyond repair.  ❜
  • ❛  Stick around here, make things better.  ❜
  • ❛  You beat me fair and square.  ❜
  • ❛  Please stand back now.  ❜
  • ❛  Don’t know what this thing will do.  ❜
  • ❛  Hope you miss me.  ❜
  • ❛  Wish you’d kiss me.  ❜
  • ❛  I’ll trade my life for yours.  ❜
  • ❛  Wait, hold on!  ❜
  • ❛  Once I disappear, clean up the mess down here.  ❜
  • ❛  Not this way!  ❜
  • ❛  Say hi to God.  ❜

SEVENTEEN (REPRISE)

  • ❛  Listen up kids, war is over.  ❜
  • ❛  Brand new sheriff’s come to town.  ❜
  • ❛  We are done with acting evil.  ❜
  • ❛  We will lay our weapons down.  ❜
  • ❛  We’re all damaged, we’re all frightened, we’re all freaks but that’s alright.  ❜
  • ❛  We’ll endure it. We’ll survive it.  ❜
  • ❛  (name) are you free tonight?  ❜
  • ❛  High school may not ever end.  ❜
  • ❛  Still, I miss you.  ❜
  • ❛  I’d be honored, if you’d let me be your friend.  ❜
  • ❛  We can be seventeen.  ❜
  • ❛  If nobody loves me now, someday somebody will.  ❜
  • ❛  There’s still time to make things.  ❜
  • ❛  One day we’ll change the world, but let’s kick back tonight.  ❜
  • ❛  Let’s go be seventeen, take off our clothes and dance.  ❜
  • ❛  This could be our final chance.  ❜
  • ❛  We’ll make it beautiful.  ❜
The more and more I experientially know Jesus, and be known by him. the more and more I realize, the God that we teach about in general, isn’t the same God the bible talks about. Maybe on some level, but our lives would look radically, and so much different. Jesus himself said, “You will do greater things than I did…” Does our life reflect that? Do we really have a relationship with God? Or, are we pretending? Playing like we do, with our church, and bible studies. Are we daily experiencing God in new ways? Our life wasn’t meant for “mountain top” experiences every once in a while. Jesus is an adventure everyday, and we can actually live in relationship to the father like he did, and do greater things, and live in our identity he made us to be. We can really understand the depth of his love, and most importantly, hear his voice… We can realize how to be co-heirs with Christ, keeping in step with the Spirit, when going to the store, or the coffee shop is an adventure with the Holy Spirit. Mundane things, turn into exciting kairos moments with God. What an amazing life that sounds like. If my life doesn’t look like that, then I am not following the same God Jesus knew. And Perhaps the greatest and most astounding revelation is,  its not that we are not working hard enough, or not in “ministry” or anything based on our performance, but its living in the fact that we are whole and completely and infinitely loved. That God wants to speak to us, not accuse us, or judge or, or tell us how bad of a job we are doing, thats hes disappointed, but to tell us, “My love is made complete in you. You are mine, and I absolutely adore you more than the galaxies I breathed.” I think if we grasp that, our lives would be more incredible than we ever dared imagine, and he would lead us into places we couldn't dream of and the world would be  transformed. IF we confess the lies we believe, he will speak truth to us, and its so incredibly wonderful and freeing. We come to this realization, that he loves us, and values us, as much as he loved Jesus. And through Jesus we know him, and move and have our being. Thats the life I want to live.
—  A discussion my old mentor and I had on the phone today / It was really good
Transcendental Youth
The Mountain Goats
Transcendental Youth

[A lot of] Transcendental Youth is about mental illness, severe sort of severe depression when you don’t leave your house. And I think pretty often when you enter into that sort of mindset, you know when you really are so genuinely depressed that you sort of can’t see past your door, I think it’s pretty common to go: “God, I hate this place, I hate this place!” I don’t think a lot of people who are very depressed have a lot of love for their surroundings and, for me anyway, in my most depressed times I always just hate the town I’m in. I blame it. I mean when I lived in Portland for nine months, I was profoundly depressed and boy did I hate Portland. I just blamed Portland for everything. The weather, you know. So that’s what that’s about. That feeling of when you are struggling. How you tend to hate where you are.

– John Darnielle, (x)

here, my love, 
is a flower in your name
to remember all the soft gentleness of you:
     the way you loved sunshine at all hours of the day
     the way you smiled exuberance like all of life was yours to live 
     the way you shined like a river in midday light
 
from your fallen blood, my love, i raise new beauty for you.
 
and here, my love, 
is a battle in your name
to remember all the fierce strength of you:
     the way you chased the winds without pause
     the way you climbed mountains like the skies were yours to conquer
     the way you wore crowns and robes like a helmet and armour
 
i defy death, my love, and dare the gods to take your soul from me.
—  Alas! Alas! – apollo and hyacinth ( j.p. )

anonymous asked:

Hi!! New-ish Outlander fan here. I found your fic blog not too long ago and fell in love with your modern AUs, esp the Vietnam AU! Will there be more to come, pretty please? Thanking you X ☺

anonymous asked:   Any chance of your continuing the Vietnam AU? It’s such a lovely series. All the best! ❤❤❤

anonymous asked: Do Jamie and Claire get a cabin goodbye in the Vietnam AU? omg /death            


It was understandably a bit musty inside the cabin – and Jamie immediately set to work airing it out.

“Here – help me roll up the shades? Let’s get some light in here.”

Jenny hadn’t exaggerated – there were only four rooms. A large living area with an open hearth, what appeared to be two bedrooms, and a study/library. All the furniture and decorations were dated, but clean – well-kept. Taken care of.

“Do you come up here often?” She stepped to one side of the living area, eyes lighting on a large survey map mounted on the wall.

“Not since the fall. But I came here a lot right after I got back from Chu Lai. I needed – well. I needed time. And space. I did a lot of thinking.”

And then he was there, right behind her, arms wrapped around her waist, head resting on her shoulder.

She melted against him.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here with you,” she whispered into the wall. “I’m sorry – ”

“Sshh.” His breath tickled her neck. “It doesn’t matter. You’re here now.”

Then she turned around. And locked eyes with him. And bit her lip.

Tension crackled.

“I love you,” she whispered. “I want you.”

His eyes closed – almost as if he couldn’t believe her words.

“I want you in my life, Claire. Now. In every way. For always.”

Then his eyes opened – brave. Unafraid.

“And God knows I want you – more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. Do you feel the same?”

“You know I do,” she breathed.

“Then will you do something for me?”

Her brows furrowed. “Anything.”

He nodded, thinking.

“I want to handfast with you. It’s – it’s a Scottish tradition. We pledge ourselves to each other – and it’s valid for a year and a day. After that time we can part – or we can formally marry.”

“I don’t understand – do we need a priest or something? Why didn’t we do it at church?”

He smiled, shaking his head. “We do it just the two of us. It’s valid because we say it is. And in the eyes of God, it – it blesses us. Blesses our union. Because I want God to bless us, and protect us. And provide for us. Because He knows I prayed every single day for you to come back to me. And He delivered.”

Claire blinked back tears.

“Yes. Yes, of course. What do I do?”

He took her hands. “I’m going to make my vow to you – and then you can make yours to me. And then – one more thing. And then – then, we go to bed.”

She nodded. Quickly. Heart somewhere in her throat.

“I, James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser, take thee, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp…”

It all happened in slow motion.

Jamie’s vow to her.

Her vow to him.

They sealed their vows with a kiss. And then – then he asked for her wrist. Pulled out his pocketknife – scored a shallow cut across her wrist. Held out his own wrist for her to do the same. Then pressed his cut to hers.

“Say the words after me,” he whispered.

Then he spoke in Gaelic – it was yet another vow. She didn’t understand it – but she *felt* it so much deeper than what they had just exchanged in English.

And Jamie’s eyes were so soft and dark and intense on hers.

And then another kiss.

And then they stumbled to one of the bedrooms, and Jamie struggled out of his jacket, and Claire lay a calming hand on his chest.

“Sshh. It’s just me. We don’t have to do this if it’s too much.”

And then Jamie straightened up, focused, and took proper care of his bride.

The orange sunlight of late afternoon sliced through the lace curtains that must have been made before the War.

Claire sighed, so content, legs still tangled with Jamie’s under the old plaid blanket, hands gently caressing the scars on his back. He made a small sound and tightened his grip – burying himself even deeper inside of her. Her lips parted in a silent gasp.

“Are you *sure* you’ve never done that before? Because Jamie – ”

“Well I seemed to learn a *lot* after the first time, hmm?” he laughed, sucking on her neck, delighting in her shiver. “I have a most excellent teacher.”

“It’s so, so good with you.” Her voice rose higher in pitch as he slowly, slowly began rocking back and forth. Teasing. “I – I had no idea it could be this good.”

“And just think – we can have this every day for the rest of our lives, Claire.” He kissed her swollen lips – the tip of her nose – her eyes, brimming with tears.

“Oh my God,” she breathed. “Jamie. I – ”

“Hush, *mo graidh.* Hush. Let me love you again.”

Slowly he eased her onto her back, and helped her lose all sense of space and time.

“You can’t go out there with no clothes on!”

Jamie briefly glanced over his shoulder to give Claire a withering look. “Who’s around to care? Just a few deer. Maybe a mountain lion or two. And you, but last time I checked you rather liked seeing me naked.”

Claire theatrically rolled her eyes and followed him, naked, across the living room as he opened the front door.

“I know it’s nice out – but don’t you feel the slightest bit cold?”

He darted back inside, grabbed her hand, and dragged her over the threshold. “Not when I have you to warm me!”

Her laugh echoed from the fir trees circling the clearing right outside the front of the cabin.

“And where is this cave, anyway? Some of us haven’t been hiking bare-assed through the woods since we were in diapers.”

“It’s right – oh! Perfect!”

Jamie abruptly halted and Claire crashed into his side. “What is it?”

He bent, plucked a small plant from the ground, and held it out to her. “I remember these from when I was small – wild strawberries.”

Sure enough, a small red fruit hid under the sparse green leaves.

“How lovely.” Claire plucked the berry from the stem and tasted it.

“Look – there are so many of them here.” His voice was suddenly choked – and she looked up at him in concern.

“Jamie? Are you all right?”

“It’s a sign, Claire,” he said softly, voice breaking. “The strawberries – they’re our symbol. The Frasers. Well, it’s what my Da always told me – that our surname comes from the French, when a Monsieur Freseliere came across from France with King William, and was granted land in the Scottish highlands for his trouble.”

“You mean William the Conqueror?” Claire’s voice was incredulous. “I had heard that Scots have long memories, but still – ”

“But Claire – it’s March. Strawberries here in the mountains normally don’t start until April. It’s a sign, Claire. It’s a blessing from God. It proves that you’re meant to be here.”

Gently Claire gripped his forearms – the hairs glowing in the afternoon sun – and turned him to face her. Then gently she lay him down on the grass, amid the strawberries, and sat atop him.

“I love you, Monsiuer Freseliere,” she said softly, and then took him inside her.

“Je t’aime, Madame Freseliere,” he groaned.

“Where have you been? Murtagh was just going to go out looking for you – you forgot the walkie-talkie, you idiot!”

But neither Jamie nor Claire took heed of Jenny’s haranguing. For Jamie simply bent to kiss his sister on the cheek as Claire pulled a bottle of whisky from the backpack and set it on the table.

“The ten-year! You’ve gone for the good stuff,” Ian observed, eyeing Murtagh’s faded scrawl on the label. “May I ask why?”

“We’ve handfast,” Claire replied. “We’ll marry as soon as I finish school.”

Murtagh let out a whoop so loud that wee Maggie, snoring in her playpen in the parlor, burst awake in tears.

But amid the cheers and kisses and hugs exchanged by the Fraser-Murray adults, nobody seemed to mind.

The Stolen Throne in 15 minutes

I wrote this parody back in 2010 and it would be a shame if Livejournal dies with this mocking post, so have a re-post here on tumblr. I actually love Stolen Throne, but it’s not going to win a Nobel prize, that’s for damn sure.  


REBEL QUEEN: *is slain *

MARIC, a Level 1 Prince: OH NOES! I can barely hold a sword and now I’m all alone on the run from the usurper! HELP! HELP!

LOGHAIN, a Level 56 Warrior, several miles away: I have a really bad feeling about this shit.

Keep reading

A million things that my heart adores about you

It started like this, as Isak laid fast asleep Even would pull out that little green notebook and note all the things he adores about Isak. Like the way the first rays of sunshine hit his hair just right or the way his eyes lit as he smiled or even the way adoration painted his face as he looked at Even. Even swears the list could go on and on. After finally becoming impatient of waiting for Isak to wake up Even tucks the little free notebook under the cup of coffee that he set on the bedside table then slowly leans forward and presses the tenderest of kisses to Isak’s cheek one that elicits a happy sigh from Isak who then slowly wakes.
“Hi”, Isak whispers as he reaches for Even’s hand a smile already starting to spread across his face.
“Hi baby”, Even whispers back slowly leaning in for a kiss that Isak happily obliges to. They kiss for a minute or two before Isak pulls away. “What were you doing before I woke up? You were.. writing something I think. I heard the scratching of the pen and..”
“I was doing nothing mannen i mitt liv just doodling little things of you.” Isak scoffs and rolls his eyes Even automatically starts laughing attempting to have Isak not realize he made a slight lie which works perfectly causing a little giggle to escape from Isak but Isak immediately stops when he happens to catch a glimpse of the little green notebook.
“Evy, what’s that?”
“Nothing baby”.
“But..”
“Shh my love you worry too much” Even says and wiggles his brows all previous slight tension gone.
~~
The next time Even pulls out that green little notebook Isak is hunched over a notebook fiercely scribbling notes his eyebrows drawn upward in concentration. Even, who’s laying on his side staring adoringly automatically starts jotting things down that he starts to see like the way his lip pouts ever so slightly or the fact that the more Isak concentrates the more prominent his cheekbones become.
“Whatcha writin’?”
Even’s head snaps up and he quickly fumbles to close the notebook. “Nothing my love”, he says as he pulls Isak into his arms.
“You’re a terrible liar baby”.
“It’s really nothing I promise", Even says as he holds Isak’s face in his hands looking straight into those green irises.
“Is it a list about all the reasons why you should break up with me or even hate about me?”
“What?! Nei baby!”
“Then?..”
“One day baby one day”.
~~
On the tenth day of noting everything he adores about Isak he decides to turn it into a gift. A gift that begins as one sticky note that is left on their mirror before Even leaves for work.
Isak, you’re a piece of art that I could just admire and adore till the end of my days. Love, Even.
Even lets this continue for a week, stuffing folded pieces of paper into Isak’s jeans, jacket, backpack, basically anywhere that he knows that Isak would encounter them at, even if that meant giving one to Jonas and Magnus to give to Isak throughout the day. But as the last day comes to an end Even plans the most romantic night in for the two of them,the last folded piece of paper placed in his lightly closed fist. As Isak walks into the room he suddenly stops, his mouth partially agape tears already falling down his face. Even takes three steps forward and gently takes Isak’s face in his hands, kissing his forehead, his cheeks then lastly his lips.
“Isak, I could go on and on about everything little things I love about you and baby I will. You are the best thing to ever come into my life, you constantly show me how to be strong in a way I never knew was possible. You bring me so much hope and just fill that part of me that was destined for only you. Nothing would make sense about you Isak and I don’t ever want you to think I don’t love you. I love you to the moon and back, to the ends of the earth, to infinity and beyond. You are my life baby and you always will be”.
Before Even can even process what’s happening he’s pulled into Isak’s arms, soft sobs quietly leaving Isak.
“Isak, Isak, Isak, I love you, I love you, I love you”, Even whispers into Isak’s ear beginning to press tender kisses to Isak’s forehead, the tip of his nose, both of his cheeks then lastly his lips once more. Isak brings his hands to tangle them in Even’s hair, Even his hands tenderly holding Isak’s face. They stand there for a minute or two lips brushing against one anothers hearts both a fluttering. Isak parts his lips from Even’s looking up at Even his face beaming.
“So that’s what you were doing huh? Planning the most romantic sappiest thing in the world?”
“Sappy? But romantic? Very much so. I know this uh might come as a surprise to you but I’ve um been doing this since the moment I first laid eyes on you”.
“Hva? Seriously? Wow”.
Even reaches his hand to Isak to interlock them Even lightly squeezing Isak’s fingers which gets Isak to smile once more. Even then suddenly remembers the folded piece of paper in his other hand and gently gestures to Isak for him to open his hand. Isak obliges confusion written all over his face until Even sets the folded piece of paper in his hand.
Isak opens it carefully eyes never leaving Even’s then begins to read, tears once more welling up in his eyes as he reads further. As he finishes he looks directly into Even’s eyes who’s quietly trying to fight back his own tears, but then pulls him into his arms swearing to the entire universe that their love was as strong as mountains a foundation that would live on for as long as life endured.
There’s this boy and he kinda has my heart already. Cheesy, I know, but let me tell you about this boy. His smile is like the sun, pure, wholesome, good and so incredibly heart warming it’s very rare that smile but it always manages to make my heart soar like the birds in the sky, so free and full of life. His smile is not the only thing I love but that laugh, oh god that laugh that makes my heart melt. The funny thing is I feel like this boy and I am meant to be I can kind of just tell you know by butterflies and such. I just wish I could really strike up that courage and actually talk to him.. Or maybe this just isn’t meant to be I guess.
August 9
There’s this boy, and he totally has my heart. I know I’ve written this here once before but seeing these words then seeing where my life is now? It feels like a complete dream. Cheesy, I know, but let me just tell you about this boy and how his story is like my own award-winning film. He always says that his smile has grown because of me, but every day I tell him ‘No, baby. You did that all yourself.’ Little does he know how brighter my life has become because of him. Yet sometimes he doesn’t believe me or doesn’t get it. He’s so good to me - way too good to me sometimes and there’s moments where I feel I’m so undeserving of his love. He’s so pure and whole and someone I can call mine proudly and with love and adoration. Someone I look forward to in the mornings and it’s so incredibly heartwarming. His smile still never fails to make my heart soar like the birds in the sky - so free, so full of life and potential. I fell in love with bits of him one by one - his smile, his laugh and oh God that laugh is what makes everything okay. That reminds me that I’m never alone now, that I have someone who understands and is so damn patient I swear it’s just a superpower that he has. Someone who always reminds me to think of now, never the past and also never the present. But right now, in this moment, everything in this minute is okay and I know will always be okay.
Shout-out to the lovely Mars ( @rapgodvaltersen ) for helping me put together the very end of this drabble ❤ I love you so so much 💖

The oceans I would cross for you
would cleave in two to surrender my passage

The mountains would lift the train of their skirts to become tunnels
And I would hold my breath running through them
and knit every wish into dandelion fluff for you

Birds would shed their feathers

Tumbleweeds would thunder like chariots

The woods would become wings

And I would fight god and men and myself to reach you

Bruises like badges in full decorum

I would rip the canopy of night from the sky
so all that remains is the glory and light
of a billion naked stars,
If you wanted.

If you wanted, I’d be a sword

I would cut down armies and overgrowth to make your path

I could be a shield, and no bullet of hail or roaring vendetta would ever touch you

I can be your fanfare, your runaway train, your tropical storm that levels skyscrapers. Your alchemist, your confidant, the one who tastes your food and sips your wine to test for poison, your compass, your bodyguard, your sinkless ship.

But do not ask me to be your lover.

I don’t know how to be soft.

—  Achilles /.w.m.w.
inverted love song

 I could scream down 90 mountains

 to less than dust

 if only one living human had eyes in the head 

and heart in the body, 

but there is no chance, 

my god, 

no chance.

 rat with rat dog with dog hog with hog,

 play the piano drunk

 listen to the drunk piano, 

realize the myth of mercy 

stand still 

as even a child’s voice snarls 

and we have not been fooled,

 it was only that we wanted to believe.

BUKOWSKI

i just want to wear some chacos and throw my hair in a messy bun and read my bible and go on soul-filling adventures and drink good coffee and eat good food and be with people that fuel my soul and see God in everything i do. i want to take pictures and travel and have my feet always dirty, hair always messy, and eyes always sparkling. i want to love and fall in love. i want to listen to The Lumineers and go to concerts and dance without holds. i want to sing at the top of my lungs and stick my head out of car windows as we drive through the mountains. i want to love, to be loved and to live authentically. i want to get the most out of this beautiful life. 👣☀️

Are You Better Off?

I realized, to my surprise, that my one year anniversary came and went and I didn’t realize it.  While I generally never pass up an excuse to buy myself a celebratory donut, the occasion got me to thinking, as you have to, I suppose, about where I was when I first arrived – alone and terrified and heartbroken and a mess – in the confusing land of Florida, and where I am now.  I still have yet to find an orange that’s actually from here.  But that’s only part of the journey.

Am I better now than I was? When I made the choice to leave, I had become something that infuriated me.  I was a cringing, passive little doormat, taking abuse at work and at home because it was easier to avoid an argument than to stand up for myself.  I changed nothing and tried nothing, I had done nothing, and I was horrified at the prospect of continuing to live like that.  

But I was comfortable.  I had my family near.  I had friends I loved.  I had grown accustomed to the beautiful and strange island in which we lived and its beaches and jungles and cities were home to me, or as close to home as I’d been in a long time – it was an alternative fairy tale of mountains on fire and late night drives and a language spoken only on this tiny crumb splash of land out in the ocean, haunted by ghosts, protected by gods, ready to welcome people who respect it enough to stay and cast out people who don’t understand its ways.

Am I better now? Last night I had a dream I was driving a school bus full of people I knew, somewhere strange to me, and no matter how carefully I drove we would up lost in the desert, stuck in the mud, with jumping cacti surrounding the windows and somehow getting inside.  I got us back on the road where gorillas on red motorcycles zoomed by and the flood water was past our tires, and other people were stuck in the mud.  Even though we could hardly drive we stopped to try and let them on the bus.  Just metaphor me with a pillowcase full of bricks right in the face.

In the past year I’ve faced everything on my own.  I bought a home full of problems, lost a lot in the move across the ocean, gained and lost friends, dealt with corruption and harassment at a job even worse than the drug lord and casino boss I used to work for on the island, I’ve been hoodwinked and perved on and changed from blue to pink, faced a hurricane, and all of it while learning skills both practical and less so that I’ll probably use forever.

I miss home.  More appropriately, I miss the feeling of home.  I miss the hot beaches and the ocean glittering out my window every day as I went to work, I miss smelling sunscreen when I got groceries, I miss the beauty and the sand on the doorstep.  I miss the jungle lizards and the mountain ghosts and my family.  

I don’t miss feeling like I needed permission to do anything.  I don’t miss being worried about someone else’s reaction to my own choices.  I’m still struggling for my confidence and independence and it has been so hard being alone and doing all this alone, but I’m different now, I’m better now.  I feel taller, tougher, I take chances, I don’t apologize needlessly, I say what I mean.  I got a dog and I didn’t listen to anyone who told me not to, and damn it, he’s the best friend ever.  I am older, probably less attractive, probably less likely to have kids and get married like I still hope to someday, but I’ve never been more confident about the path I’m on.  And still going.

anonymous asked:

Pt 2 I don't want others to make fun of me cuz I don't have enough support. I'm afraid. I'm insecure. There's so much I don't know yet. I feel intimidated by those smarter than me with different beliefs or a lack thereof

Well my friend, I have been in your exact situation. I actually got rid of all my theology books under the direction of the Holy Spirit. You know what i learned? Nobody came to know Christ by any logical argument, or fact. Ill quote Paul,

 “ My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, “ - Corinthians 2:4. Apologetics are technically bad, but apologetics do not walk people into the kingdom. Apologetics and polemics, are about why you’re right, and why they are wrong. Jesus never taught like that. He never spent time trying to prove the earth was made in 7 days, he never argued about the existence of aliens, or even politically who is right or wrong! You know what he did? He healed the sick, he raised the dead, and he cast out demons. He met with people that were considered lowly, and had dinner with sinners! He didn’t argue logical thinking and facts. He didn’t try to prove the scriptures really happened. 

I speak this way because ive been there. God doesn’t need us to defend him. He doesn’t need our help, and he doesn’t ask for it! He does ask us though to love people. I mean think about it. Say you are talking to someone who doesn’t believe in God, and then you pray for them and they get healed from a physical ailment. What could they say? What would they say? God isn’t real? They could, but whats more powerful a demonstration of God’s love, or a paper about how God loves people? People come to follow Jesus when they experience him. The greek word for know, is ginosko, which mean to experimentally know, as deep as sexual intimacy. People have a transformation when they experience Christ, not logical reasoning. Even people who believe in Jesus are encouraged when God’s love is demonstrated versus just talked about. True faith, leads to good works. We are saved by our faith, but our works will reflect what we believe. Your life, is the biggest testimony over any book or sound argument. When people look at you, or me, they should see love, they should see Jesus! We live what we believe. 

The gospel should be such goodness, we shouldn’t have to even argue with people, they’ll see the goodness of God on our life and want it! Not prosperity gospel, but just the Gospel! That God, the King has come! And his spirit is here and has set us free so we can live out our identity in Christ, exploring the world through the eyes of the kingdom of God. That sounds so amazing!

I want you to know, you are smart, you are talented, you are bold, and you are amazing. Live in that! Don’t worry what other people think, they didnt make you, they didnt breathe the stars into existence, They didnt form the mountains. But your heavenly father did, and he thought you were so valuable heaven went bankrupt for you! 


I hope this gave you some encouragement! Remember to love people, we will be known by our love..


Love and Peace, 


Jordan

2

The first time I met him, was when I was six. On a hot summer day, I got lost in the forest of the mountain god, which was said to be where spirits lived. When I started crying from fear and loneliness, he appeared before me.