god i love dad egbert

there are just so many things wrong with the new welovefine homestuck body pillows but the one thing i just dont understand is why the hell they wouldn’t go with the unproblematic and completely hilarious aspect of putting dad egbert on a pillowcase? think about it. surface level, it’s humor at its peek. you can just imagine people unironically curling up to this faceless man dressed all in white. on a deeper level, he just makes the most sense??? like, he’s strong as hell which means he’s gotta have muscle. he bakes for his son so you know he’d make dinner for you and he’s always dressed so sharply like a goddamn gentleman. he’s the perfect lover. and, oh yeah, he’s of consenting age and has never thrown his son down a flight of stairs so that’s definitely a plus.