god i dont even like this

  • sakura: of course you like working for him, naruto youre a guy.
  • ino: yeah jiraiyas a huge sexist
  • kiba: woah woah woah i think if jiraiya was sexist id know. i took a crapton of womens studies courses in college and i even wrote a companion piece to the vagina monologues called the penis apologies.
  • ino: well how about how im the head of accounting but he only ever talks to choji? sakura and hinata are also department heads and he never meets with them or evens asks us anything
  • kiba: oh my god.... youre so right
  • sakura: why dont you say something, naruto?
  • naruto: like what "hey jiraiya are you sexist or just shy?"
  • sakura: or just talk to him about how the women in the office are perceiving his behavior?
  • kiba: and if he doesnt listen? snip snip penis goodbye amirite ladies
a letter from a sober isaac

(and i mean stone cold sober)
trigger warning: suicide and abuse

to everyone
yesterday, i almost killed myself.

i had actually planned on doing it. i took a lot of vicodin and drank a lot and was going to shoot myself.
however, before any of that had happened, i actually passed out. i woke up this morning collapsed on the floor in my bedroom.

i’d like to say that it was God saving me, but im not too sure. i think He gave up on me a long time ago.

all i know is that right now, i am sober for the first time in quite a while.

i have been thinking about it, and i realize that ive been writing on here for a long time. one of the posts made by someone said that you guys dont know my personal life. hell, even evangeline said so. and i feel you guys deserve to know some of my issues.

my uncle was a raging alcoholic before he died. when i was 9, he molested me.

my family has grown up very poor. its a privilege im in school at this moment, because i almost had to drop out of high school to help pay for bills. i try to support my family in every way i can, so im working full time while full time in school.

when i was in high school, i was in a car accident and nearly died. that was when i started going to church.

but somewhere along the way, i picked up a bottle. somewhere along the way, i got lost.

ive read everyones letters.

im getting help. or at least, im trying to. im sober right now because im trying to detox. however, im bedridden and throwing up and shaking.

i already have a sponsor.

i’ll keep you guys updated, but for now.. i need to sleep.

thanks for getting to know me.

and to my evangeline…

thank you for being my sponsor. i’m so sorry. i love you.

-isaac, who now had a guardian angel.

Me in like 10-20 years probably

I have collected one main deity to worship from every pantheon. I have ascended, or so people say, but really, I am just so cramped in my little apartment that Hades has become my bunk mate, and Anubis sleeps in the tub. My grocery bill is outrageous, and you dont even want to know how many candles i have stashed through out the place. To save water, Loki showers with me, and probably like 10 other people. I am tripping over Gods, and there is no escape, not that i try. I open the fridge to find bacchus asleep inside. I close the fridge again.

“you are my little sunshine, jungkook”
 “no! i dont want to be a little sunshine”
“hm? what do you want to be, then?” 
“i wanna be a big sunshine, i wanna be everything. i dont want to be little or small, i want to be able to protect you, from all the bad things in the world.” 
“uh kook…w..” 
“shhh baby im here nothing will happen to you i will save you from everything, because you are my little sunshine.” /smorchz 
“wait…what…” ??????

EDIT 2 please for the love of god how do so many people misread a post i hate this post i hate everything i never intended for this to happen

EDIT no one will see this but im not defending the guy, i dont like him, i like making fun of him and picking on him, hes an unoriginal and unfunny asshole who doesnt even have confidence in his own jokes (see: loss parody), idk why people think im defending him or claiming hes doing any good/nothing wrong and im not saying its fair he gets to make money off stupid bullshit because its not. im saying buzzfeed sucks and their humor sucks and adam ellis sucks and its shitty but also enviable that people get money for just being dumb and stealing jokes and i hate it but also i would probably sell out if i could make money doing, again, the most low-effort inane shit possible. not emphasizing with him when i say that bc fuck him im just tryna survive like everyone else

making fun of the buzzfeed comic guy is good but also if you got paid to do the most minimal bullshit possible would you not do it. if buzzfeed offered to hire you to write their “47 funny memes” articles that are all tumblr posts and nothing original and you got paid for it would you not do it. adam tots is actually owning all of us by making money doing the most low-effort inane shit possible

2

infodumping about the ocean

Why is it that one of the biggest arguments against Wonder Woman is the fact that there was a romance subplot? Like honestly? It was barely even a subplot. First and foremost, Steve and Diana were friends. He helped her navigate a world she didn’t understand, but her motivations were always entirely hers. And secondly, literally almost every other action movie on this goddamn planet has a romance subplot, except the difference is they had male leads and female love interests, who are almost always damsels in distress. Diana’s romance with Steve never once made her out as someone Steve had to save, or even vice versa. They were friends and colleagues with the utmost respect for each other. No one makes this big of a fuss in male-led action movies with a romance subplot. People just take it as it is because it’s the ‘status quo’ but in order for a female-led action movie to have any merit, the woman shouldn’t have a love interest because that diminishes her strength as a woman. Well, sirs and madames, kindly fuck off. Just because Hollywood has conditioned you to believe that a woman in love is weak and submissive doesn’t actually mean it’s true. Love has always been the driving force of Diana’s moral fiber and strength. If you think her falling in love is somehow an inherent weakness of hers then you clearly don’t understand Wonder Woman to begin with. 

3:50 pm

Every Friday at exactly 3:50 pm Draco makes sure to kiss Harry.

Every Friday. He hasn’t been late once either. Because Draco always drops everything he’s doing, no matter what he’s doing, to go and look for Harry. It’s not that easy sometimes. Harry has a job that, unlike Draco’s, requires him to actually leave the house. Whenever Draco shows up at his workplace, Harry’s face lightens up. He has never complained about Draco interrupting his work. Not once.

Even when they’re fighting and they’re both in a bad mood, they briefly forget about it when it’s 3:50 on a Friday. Like right now. They had an argument last night about Harry getting a motorcycle. Draco just doesn’t get why Harry would want to spend that much money on something that will probably kill him. They both fell asleep with a scowl on their face and they didn’t talk while eating breakfast. Harry left the house while Draco was reading the paper.

But now, as Draco stands in front of him, Harry is smiling at him fondly. Merlin, Draco just never tires of that smile. Even after all these years.

He glances at the clock and sees it’s 3:49. His eyes find Harry’s and they hold so much love, it makes Draco shudder. He takes Harry’s hands in his and pulls him closer. When his lips brush Harry’s, a familiar feeling washes over him. It’s warm and invigorating, reassuring and exhilarating. Kissing Harry will never fail to consume and mesmerize Draco.

Harry leans away again and brushes his thumb over Draco’s cheek.

“I still have a bit of work to do, but I’ll try to be home early, okay?”

“Okay,” Draco whispers, his eyes still closed.

He feels Harry kiss the tip of his nose and can’t help but grin. He pulls Harry back into a tight embrace and relishes the feeling of Harry’s body shaking against his, as Harry laughs out loud.

“I love our Friday afternoon kisses,” Harry murmurs.

“I love them, too.”

Draco really does. Because it was 3:50 pm on a Friday afternoon when Harry Potter said “I do” and kissed Draco for the first time as his husband.

3

Yuuei cycle club 

honestly i dont even give a shit that blupjeans is straight, can you give me 5 other canon straight ships you know in which one or both of them is trans? trans people in love need more representation, period, and if youre a cis gay and youre all “ew yall are shipping a het ship?” like…just keep this in mind lmao

things people in my theatre class have said

“look guys i vandalized george washington”

“i fucking HATE that note” 

“that was so beautiful im crying how does she even hit that note??”

(off-key screeching) “i think thats a little flat”

“oh my god your voice is so good why are you in the ensemble?” “i can’t act” “THIS IS??? A THEATRE CLASS??”

“i love (random musical)” “fight me”

“everyone shut up and give me attention”

“and thats why its called a triple threat” “im not even a single threat”

“how was ur audition” “im dead”

“why do they make the orchestra play under the stage??? its like a fuckin horror movie in there”

(while walking backstage) “holy FUCK theres so much stuff in here”

“why is there a brownie on the side of the stage” “dont question it its always been there”

(incoherent screaming about the tonys)

“you wore that shirt yesterday” “shhhhHHHH”

“i had a dream about kiwis yesterday.” “…” “the fruit and the bird”

“theater is the place and theatre is the profession” “wait really”

5

Deku Squad

  • Lance: hey Keith,, I overheard ur conversation with Pidge,, so, u have a crush on someone??? Who is it ;)?
  • Keith: ahahahaha woo my crush??? Ahahah wow suddenly I dont remember also I think I have to wash,..... my cat,, u h wATS THAT ALLURA I'll be right there *leaves*
  • Lance: ......???
  • Pidge: in case u couldnt tell he has a crush on you
  • Lance:
  • Lance: OOOOHHH
dating peter parker would include...

dedicated to my harrison bestie anon in hopes it makes them smile :) also yes it’s really fuckin long i’m sorry i just love peter parker and have a lot of feelings

  • you actually hate to tell the story of how you two met because it’s mortifiying oh mygod
  • peter, however, loves to watch u blush about it even though it was only really embarrassing when it happened
  • taking the subway to school like every other day, you obviously had spent too many hours on the internet so u were tired as hell 
  • so tired you couldn’t grab the pole in time when the subway stopped
  • and you in an ungraceful manner, tripped, stumbled and fell
  • into his lap
  • his l a p 
  • you still get red cheeks when remember just how embarrassing it was
  • oh my god! i c-can’t believe that- i-i, i’m so so sorry- h-holy shit–
  • peter did find it extremely awkward but your mortified and blushing red face was so much more adorable 
  • n-no, it’s fine– d-do you want my seat?
  • o-oh no, it’s alright. i’d just like to crawl into a hole somewhere. sudden amnesia works too.
  • AND BOY
  • a cute girl with wit and oh my is that a nerdy shirt????
  • from them on, you had his entire heart 
  • yes i will totally be writing a full on imagine for this
  • you guys weren’t friends for long if u know what i mean 
  • like you had already face planted into his lap so you skipped most of the awkward interactions
  • you were kinda like ‘ah what the hell’ 
  • you did it while you guys were walking home together, like usual
  • hey peter, can you hold this for me?
  • yeah?” 
  • and you just grabbed his hand, grinning at him with wink 
  • cue the cutest blushing from peter 
  • peter goddamn nearly had a heart attack but couldn’t stop smiling the entire walk home 
  • he was really sad when he reached your building 
  • but then you stood on ur tippy toes and kissed him on the cheek so he wasn’t that sad
  • eventually kisses on the cheeks became kisses on the lips & it wasn’t official but you two just knew
  • let’s be real, peter is the worlds biggest dork so movie marathons are so common
  • i mean everything– star wars, back to the future, jurassic park, like man you name it 
  • and if u were a nerd too, then oH boy he would just be in a constant state of heart eyes 
  • he would be anyways but extra heart eyes if u geek out
  • c’mon pete, hurry that cute lil ass up! it’s rogue one!!
  • oh my god, please marry me right now.
  • you guys definitely try to quote movies as much as possible
  • i love you” ”i know *intense blushing* diD YOU JUST–
  • he has a such soft spot for when you guys marathon disney movies not that he tells you that
  • something about you lighting up & singing along makes him go !!!!!!! inside
  • no you two never perform disney duet songs together never ever have you done that why do u ask
  • (your favourite one to perform is hakuna matata because its a goddamn classic and peter gets so into it)
  • (breaking free from hsm is a close second because damn can peter hit those notes when he really tries)
  • peter parker is such an admirer like you dont even know
  • he could stare at you for hours and its pretty much what gets him through the day tbh
  • in fact, he has all your birthmarks and freckles committed to memory because shes so pretty i can’t deal with this
  • he blushes SO MUCH when you catch him staring
  • but lets be real, you were staring at him too
  • he blushed even more when he found that out because oh my fucking god she was staring at me do i look weird is there something on my face
  • but when you’re like no you goof, i’m admiring youu get 
  • BLUSHING STUTTERING STAMMERING PETER PARKER
  • he just never stops blushing 
  • he! would! try! so! hard! at everything 4 you
  • baking? hell yeah he’ll bake for u
  • singing? eh he’ll give it a go (but only for you)  
  • dancing? he hates it but he loves to watch u laugh and smile with him so he does it anyways (even if he sucks)
  • speaking of dancing
  • peter loves it when u dance
  • especially when you stay over and he wakes up to you dancing around the kitchen or his room 
  • his favourite is catching you off guard when you’re grooving to some 80′s song
  • babe– cutting himself off with his own laughter, i don’t think that’s dancing.
  • he loves to tease you about your funky dancing because seeing his girl blushing is like his second favourite thing
  • (the first being your smile because it completely melts his insides and everything is better when you smile at him)
  • you also love it when he’s teasing because all you have is pout and suddenly peter’s showering you in kisses 
  • peter is such a sucker for kisses
  • actually he’s such a hopeless romantic & lover of cliches like
  • constantly bringing you flowers he finds on nightly patrols? check 
  • stopping so you two can share a cutesy kiss in the rain? check 
  • dumb pick up lines that still make you laugh? check 
  • tbh you both do pickup lines
  • hey, hey y/n, are you the square root of -1? because you can’t be real 
  • are you kIDDING– NO I’M NOT BLUSHING AT YOUR DUMB PICK UP LINE GO AWAY PARKER
  • he just giggles at you from the bed
  • except when you do it, its a different story
  • hey hey hey, peter 
  • hmm?” 
  • are you related to yoda? because yodalicious.
  • peter just falls off the bed 
  • you don’t even ask if he’s alright, you just cut straight to laughing at his reaction
  • s-shut up! this isn’t because of your pick up line!! i was startled! 
  • even though he’s trying to hide his face in a pillow, you can see his pink cheeks
  • sure, peter, sure. 
  • aunt may is both a blessing and a curse to both of you 
  • because she spills BOTH OF YOUR SECRETS
  • like you can’t ramble to her about peter because she will tell him everything
  • with you in the same room 
  • oh peter, you’re wearing that shirt? i know y/n loves it, she was talking just the other day about how she find it so hot– 
  • “MAY HE DOESN’T NEED TO KNOW”
  • peter secretly really wants to know what you said about him 
  • but aunt may does it to peter too and he hates it
  • “seriously y/n, you should hear the things he says about you, i swear he’s turned into some lovesick–”
  • “nO MAY SHH YOU CAN STOP NOW”
  • makeout sessions ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • you both l o v e them 
  • funnily enough, peter is the one who usually starts them 
  • hey y/n, you’ve got something on your face, let me just– *kisses you all over you face*
  • because he’s more than ahead in his classes, ‘study dates’ really means makeout not that you mind though  
  • peter loves kisses everywhere
  • forehead kisses
  • nose kisses
  • shoulder kisses
  • eyelid kisses
  • back of the hand kisses
  • all the kisses
  • his absolute favourite kiss is the one he receives from you in the morning when you’ve stayed over
  • he’ll play with your hair softly and you’ll yawn & stretch and catch him gazing at you 
  • and you just smile and lean up and kiss him 
  • it never fails to make peters heart stop and when you pull away he just goes nooooooooooooo and pouts till you kiss him again 
  • it’s especially hard when you have to leave or part ways after school because peter turns into a needy lil boy
  • one more kiss! one more! 
  • peter you’ve said that seven times now!! 
  • you literally have to push his away, giggling and grinning, because otherwise he’s going to be late 
  • i swear to god parker, it’s only one class! 
  • and of course you know about him being spidey
  • you actually found out by accident 
  • you were searching thru his closest for something to wear when you stumbled across it 
  • tbh you thought it was a really dedicated costume at first
  • so you put it on and it was so fucking baggy man
  • hey peter! look at me, i’m the spider man! thwip thwip! 
  • except it was the real thing so 
  • y-y/n!! where did you find that??? 
  • don’t worry, i’ll keep your spider-man obsession a secret, peter.
  • but when you accidentally web peter’s hand to the wall, you figure out this suit is the real deal 
  • holy shit!! holy shit! you– you’re, this is the real, oh my god, you’re the spider-man!  
  • peter just panics because you’ve webbed him to the wall and he can’t actually do anything
  • no! no i’m not!
  • you freak out for like another minute before you gather your senses enough 
  • peter parker, do not play with me right now- are you spider-man?
  • would you believe me if i said it was a very detailed halloween costume?
  • after cutting him free, you squeezed him into the tightest hug because you were so goddamn proud of him 
  • but also because oh my god how many times had he risked his life and had you not known???? 
  • oh my god, this is so wicked i can’t believe you’re spider-man–
  • you can’t tell anyone! 
  • shh, you know i wouldn’t but holy god! you have to tell me everything
  • you’re not mad i didn’t tell you?” 
  • pfft, i’ll only be mad if you don’t tell me now.
  • yes i also want to make this an imagine
  • yes, you’re the one who patches him up which always ends in cuddles
  • basically you get to shower peter in constant love and affection because he would do that and more for you 
  • he’s just the perfect boyfriend??? 
  • i want a peter parker

Does anyone else in the Riordanverse fandoms ever get random overwhelming emotions because damn the Riordanverse has grown so much and we’ve been through so much and….Rick Riordan’s writing is so amazing and his messages are inspiring…honestly he’s helped so many of us feel special and I jUST CAN’T GUYS

LIKE

Do you ever just think about how it all started? Percy Jackson made me see a whole new world of possibilites and I can’t ever thank Rick enough for his work…

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