god i cannot with these two

Cole Meets Thane
  • Cole: Lost, frightened on the inside. She looks and does not see. But she hears.
  • Thane: A stream of silver in the dark. A child's laughter vibrates the water.
  • Cole: It laughs, but it cannot sing.
  • Commander Herald: Oh god
  • Cassandra: Maker, my ears are bleeding. Please, no more missions with these two.
  • Garrus: I'm Garrus Vakarian and this is my least favourite spot in the Hinterlands.
2

So this is kind of cheating because the picture on the right was taken a couple weeks before 2017 started, but it’s still pretty accurate.

Me in 2007 vs. Me in 2017.

I look at the little girl in that photo on the left and she didn’t know, she had no idea the kind of life she was headed for, the kind of person she’d become.  That her boyfriend wasn’t good for her and one day she’d get rid of those horrible bangs and gain some self-confidence and learn and grow and dream dreams she never thought of.

This year will mark 10 years since I started college, and I just cannot believe how much God has done in me over the last decade.  I’m married to the love of my life, I have two amazing children, and I’m more self-assured and confident in my relationship with God than I’ve ever been in my life.

Let’s make this an awesome year, everyone.

jikook @ isac last year: hey everyone *blushes* we’re gay

vmin @ isac 2017: bITCHES WE GAY AS FUCK I WILL SPANK JIMIN RIGHT HERE 

I honestly cannot for the life of me understand how you can throw away two successful, talented, powerhouse groups like that. 2NE1 and Winner deserved better, God they deserved better and this is just so messed up. This hurts. This hurts so much and I honestly hope other artists in YG take a look at this and consider their future. How is this man still allowed to be a CEO when he’s running it into the ground?  

Who’s That Tramping Over My Bridge?

Written for the prompt: Well, you try talking some sense into the bridge troll.

Sterek, T, 2K words. In which poor Derek is scared of trolls, and Stiles has to think on his feet.


Stiles threw his hands up with an exasperated groan and spun around. “Oh my god, I cannot fucking do this. Derek, care to chime in?”

The two of them had been driving through the Preserve, just minding their own business, until they came to a little bridge and got stopped by a troll, of all things. Seriously. One would think that after this many years, Stiles would stop being surprised by new supernatural creatures. Their troll section in the bestiary was practically nonexistent, but he looked…well, he looked pretty much like a troll, actually, big and ugly with a large, misshapen nose. He wasn’t green, though, which was a little disappointing, and he was so far not listening to Stiles’ reasoning.

“Let us pass,” Derek growled, and Stiles sighed. Seriously? That was the best he could do?

“Real eloquent there, Sourwolf,” he drawled, and he rolled his eyes at Derek’s snarl. “Oh, please. I haven’t been scared of you in like six years.”

Derek glared and grabbed Stiles’ elbow to tug him back a few steps. “I don’t like trolls,” he hissed.

“You are an alpha werewolf,” Stiles hissed back, “and you don’t like trolls?”

“Repeating it doesn’t make it any less true!”

Stiles sighed and snuck a look at the troll. It seemed a little exasperated but wasn’t trying to actively kill them or anything. “Why do you look like you’re about to shit your pants?”

“I don’t want to tell you this,” Derek said. It looked like he had been sucking on a lemon, and since that hadn’t been his go-to default expression in at least three years, Stiles knew something was actually wrong.

“Well, I don’t want to die at the hands of this troll, so.”

“I had nightmares about trolls when I was a kid,” he whispered, and Stiles blinked.

“Are you kidding me right now?” he asked, then he held his hand up when Derek opened his mouth. “Never mind. Don’t get me wrong, we will be talking about this later. But back to this troll. Do we have to kill it?”

Derek grimaced, as did the troll, unsurprisingly. “Whoa,” he said, stepping forward. Stiles immediately took a step back. He could see Derek’s point, actually—trolls were pretty creepy. “That’s a little drastic, right? I thought you all were the good guys.”

“Yeah, and part of being the good guys is killing the bad guys!”

The troll’s eyes widened. “Wait, wait,” he said, putting his hands up, “what do you think I do here?”

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I can’t believe Dave’s queerness, after being played off as a joke for so long, turned out to be not only something that mattered but something that was part of his core character arc. I can’t believe that Dave’s last serious conversation in canon ended with him asking his gay brother for advice on how to come out, I cannot b e l i e v e my two favorite characters are both bisexuals who are canonly shown in relationships with both men and women and their bisexuality isn’t treated as a phase and they aren’t treated like they are less trustworthy because of it and they ended up in one of the healthiest most ridiculously sweet relationships I’ve ever seen in fiction

I also can’t believe I never got to see Rose rub it in his god damn face

The cartoon hearts are hospitalized. She pulls her parachute & fractures gently into darkness. The girl I loved is a graveyard.

Nobody laughed when I got out the gun. Nobody paid me any mind. Even then, my baby was running out of me like yolk. It


puddled, a prostituted mess of hemorrhage. I cradled the viscous child in my hands to the clinic & dumped


it in the trash: lifeless at last.


Cops don’t look at me. I am a cockroach made for squishing. Let time change her face; make her mine. Without God,


angels are criminals of the medical kind. Glory holes for eyes, lazy idolatry featuring a parasite at your party:


two pixel-slick girls ease into blackout.


Burnt breakfast, black thread of child death, I shot heroin to locate the part of me that didn’t want to kill.


As it turns out, heartmeat cannot be auctioned off & bought by suits. The meat is whole, yes, & full of maggots.


Chronically a killer. I leave the filthy fucks & the filth follows me out, powdering my teeth pink.


I walk into a room full of men — I think, How many rape women, hate women, would love to make an example outta me—


No. Was made to be ruined, to be bored & bent by boys in a blue firefly glass. Girl love is dark with god.


Girl love eats my ovaries dry & wide, a tongue mutilated with want. We were


glamorous, then: naked, early morning’s plastic, church breath left at the edge of my cruel & nasty fits,


the ones where I debased my body to become hollow & anger, tender opiate, immolated us both in her


forsythia-caked crypt. Desiccated,-


smoking cowboy killers, though not a killer yet (like I was), you locked me in your lash while I shot up in


the kitchen, away from you. We were victims of self- repulsion. The lengths we went to


to be dead — the choices you left me with, when you thought a kiss was a contract.


What we are now is foul: paralyzed by pairs of pantyhose, takeout cartons


stacked, head to head, like when she haloed over my disgust- ing body, breasts smashed, creeps & their wildflowers.


Our love was left to rot. Now I am a maladaptive morgue, strange holes in the ceiling for centipedes to settle down.


The last night you dreamt of me was in May. It rained as it does in Paris — fickle, cubed ices. Finally,


buried, our sex swathed with crystal mdma & endless, endless questions — face-fucking could not redeem me.


Neglect, cold milk in your cords, shaped my suicide: no longer a hand but a mouth. Easier to understand. You deserve


a man — after all, loving me will not land you in heaven. & I so bad, so gutting, purged of fat — having had none of the sad, holy warts to scream & stomp about — need you there,


even if I’m still shooting heroin in a cool, cream womb. Even if I become some late-night news criminal, a violet corpse to coat


your television. Even if all I’ve ever been (not dogheart,


not parasitic possession, not a angel, no, that you ever prayed would visit) If all I’ve ever been to you


is a carcass with which to cut your love,


brick some dark sugar that I mainline & make a mother of,


I need you to be in heaven. Even if I’m not there to see you off.


Especially then.

—  “Girl Love,” Giana Angelillo

I swear to god if people will continue comparing no.6 to yuri on ice and start shitting on one of them to make the other look better I will burn down this whole website.

Both anime are amazing. Both deserve respect. YOI happens to be more popular since it’s new and fresh. No.6 is a classic that you totally should watch. You cannot even compare one to the other because?? Two totally?? Different?? genres??

I don’t need your hate ,thank you.

I need Bellarke to happen. God, all I ask for Christmas this year is Bellarke. For the sake of my sanity, Bellarke needs to happen or Jason will succeed in proving that two people who are perfect for each other, who watch the other, when the other is unaware, who can read each others minds, who are in his own words “two sides of a coin”, cannot get a happy ending. Love is love even if the person doesn’t realise it’s love. And Jason cannot just ignore it.

If Lexa, who turned up, brought chaos into Clarke’s life, in so short a time managed to be ‘love’ to Clarke, I wonder what Bellamy means to her. Bellamy who has only managed to open up to Clarke at this point. Bellamy who broke when Clarke left. Bellamy who cared for Clarke more than he could ever care for Gina. Bellamy who gets her more than anyone ever has. Bellamy who would follow her to the ends of the earth if she only asked. At this point they cannot just play it out as friendship because that’s such bs I swear to god I’ll riot.

It’s true what she said to Bellamy in 3x13. They need each other. Without one another they fuck up bad, meaning they need to be together. Together. The word means more to them than to anyone else. And it should because that’s the essence of their relationship. One cannot exist without the other.

Bellarke deserves a chance. More than that, it deserves to live and thrive.

one: breathe. divinity cannot be
achieved with shaking
breath. you must be
unafraid. you must reek of pure
confidence.
two: there will always be a sharp
pain. that is the  
sensation of your crimson blood
being replaced with

godly ichor. your own mortal
essence traded for something better, something
more divine than yourself. 
( DON’T YOU WANT TO BECOME A GOD ? )

three: breathe. divinity can be achieved once
you inhale your kingdom. it can be achieved once you
realize

you are something more than mortal.
you are something bigger than
those below your feet.

—————— EPIPHANY , OR THE MAKING OF DIVINITY | noel v.

Some writers use the word charity to describe not only Christian love between human beings, but also God’s love for man and man’s love for God. About the second of these two, people are often worried. They are told they ought to love God. They cannot find any such feeling in themselves. What are they to do? The answer is the same as before. Act as if you did. Do not sit trying to manufacture feelings. Ask yourself, “If I were sure that I loved God, what would I do?” When you have found the answer, go and do it.
—  C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
Dear Church: On Society (read this)

Dear Church,

On nights like tonight, I am stuck on words.

They ring through my head and some fly by, but some I cannot explain or define.

Tonight, there are two. They have actually been in my head for a quite a few. 

tolerance. bigoted.

The two are tied so closely together. But their meanings have changed.

Tolerance used to mean getting along with people you disagree with.

If you could not value people despite the fact that their opinions differed from yours, you were intolerant or bigoted (which simply meant to be intolerant).

I could always value people more than their opinions because I truly believed that God created them with innate value and nothing they say or do could ever take that away. I still do.

Valuing people…what does that mean anymore? Now, it isn’t about who people are. It isn’t about the fact that they were created with innate value. That is not their identity anymore. Their identity is what they choose. 

What used to be cool facts about people have become all-consuming. I hear people’s conversations, and they ring in my head like the sound in the movies after a bomb goes off. Everything seems distorted and I wonder how I can still think, and what has survived the explosion.

After all, my “black friend” used to just be “my friend.” My “gay friend” used to just be “my friend.” I didn’t need to describe their color or their choices because that color and that choice didn’t use to define that man. I loved that man because Christ loves that man. That was all that mattered.

As for society, identities have gotten thicker and thicker and thicker, and skin has gotten thinner and thinner and thinner.

Society defines everything. Something that was deemed scientific fact is simply a social construct. Call it that for long enough and society may forget it was ever viewed another way. It’s desensitizing. If society deems it so, it is so, and so society can deem and un-deem as they please. And they have deemed tolerance to mean something that it never meant before. 

In this day in age, our society has defined tolerance as being in agreement with every ideal that others hold and valuing those ideals as if they hold the same validity as yours.

Why did I personalize it? Because now, society has deemed it true, so it must be true of you.

On nights like tonight, I wonder why. 

Why do people fear religion, fear Christians, fear administrations, fear the opinions of others while telling others to accept all opinions, all creeds, all leaders? 

Did they not mean to tell others to accept their opinions, their creeds, and their leaders? 

Was that not clear?

Do people fear religion, Christians, administrations, and others’ opinions because that paper-thin skin might get broken, and worst of all, the new social constructs might deconstruct and eternal truth might break through?

Would that not be absolutely shattering, since society defines truth?

Would it not be terrifying for people to meet God and have him shatter the image in the mirror that they believed was god

But isn’t that the conversion story for every Christian, no matter when their conversion took place? 

“I thought I was god, and then realized I wasn’t.”

Have logic and common sense left us, church? Or have we forgotten how to use them? Why do we stay silent about the truth for so long that we have to argue it when if we had simply spoken when addressed, we could have simply stated it? 

Society asked us what we thought and we said nothing. That spoke louder than everything. Now, when we speak out, it’s intolerant. And we have almost forgotten how to think.

Think with me for a second.

Under the new definition of tolerance, isn’t calling someone intolerant… intolerant? Isn’t calling someone bigoted…bigoted?

It seems that now, free speech is for some, but others must be silenced. So they might be parading their cause, and coming out of oppression, but if someone disagrees with their cause, they better silence that person!

Tick-tock.

The clock is ticking.

Better silence the noise quick.

They have to know.

Otherwise, there wouldn’t be such a rush.

They have to know that one word from someone else could break the barricade around their heart, or at the very least, weaken it.

They have to know that if they listened long enough, they might realize that someone else’s opinion may not only be valid…but true.

They might realize that God is not a social construct, and “He is not you.”

The might realize that people are not so perfect and infallible that no-one can disagree with them. People are not truth such that every disagreeing opinion is false. People’s disagreeing opinions might not only be valid…they might be right. 

How will they know if they shut you up? How will they know, church, if you shut up and give up? And how much do you have to hate society to give up on them?

Let’s redefine tolerance, together. Church, let’s step in. 

First, let’s break down tolerance by overwhelming it with love. Let’s build relationships with people. Within those relationships, let’s speak the truth in love. 

Let’s love like CRAZY. Let’s love our friends. Not our “black friends” or “gay friends” or “democratic friends” or “republican friends.” Let’s lose the adjectives, and stop the name-calling. If we don’t, how will they see something better? The only thing people need to know they are is “loved.”

Stop saying people will go to hell if they voted for that candidate. Stop saying people be blessed if they share that Facebook post or type “Amen.” Amen? Seriously. Stop telling people they’re in your thoughts, and start telling them they’re in your prayers! Society doesn’t define truth, but it does set trends. Let’s be trend-setters.

On nights like tonight, church, I wonder what will happen if we don’t!

I say out loud into the night, “Lord Jesus, help us.”

 And He says “I will, but help yourselves by doing what you know is right.”

Church, if we do not step into a broken society and meet them where they are, some of our greatest fears will come true.

When will we be bigots for mentioning our God instead of someone else’s? For believing in Him instead of some other god? For worshipping Him instead of what society worships? 

That’s my closing thought. Mull that over in your head. Count the cost. Decide what will make better change - a Republican-dominated government or a Christ-dominated society? 

Ask yourself that question, and live out your answer.

Love.

Love,

Me

“If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

- Jesus

[Please share this post, and God will bless you. that is a joke…but feel free to boldly share this.]

youtube.com
Northern Downpour 2008 combined with 2011 (have tissues ready)
Y'all are gonna kill me for this video but I HAD to make it. This is such a beautiful song and very meaningful to Panic fans. Please forgive the pixelation/a...

This video has both made and ruined my life. Two of the most iconic ryden moments in the one video (1. Northern downpour sends its love. I love you  2. Melt your headaches call it home. GOD IM SORRY). I CANNOT HANDLE THIS 

Wonho as a boyfriend
  • “No, we cannot get the cat Shin Hoseok”
  • “But, baby, look it’s so sad”
  • Wonho would be the cutest little cuddle bug
  • He goes from “your daughter calls me daddy too” to “I just want to give everyone in the world a hug” in like 0.25 seconds
  • “Babe, what do you want for dinner?”
  • “Shin Ramyun!”
  • “NO.”
  • working out together and him literally being your hype man
  • “That’s my baby!”
  • “Holy shit babe, yes one more squat you can do it!”
  • “God damn this work out is going to pay off”
  • “Look at that ass”
  • “If you do two more push ups I’ll buy you a treat”
  • Scolding him to keep his shirt on during performances
  • Being jealous because he will literally flirt with anyone regardless of gender
  • Checking out people together
  • “Wait, did you see her ass babe?”
  • “Yeah, it was great”
  • “Wait, baby, did you see that guy? He was so fine”
  • “Damn, boy, work that beard”
  • Hanging out with the boys and them making fun of both of you because you are literal grease balls
  • So much skinship. Wonho is not afraid to express his love for you in an open manner.
  • Like you’ll be walking around doing some shopping or something and he’ll have an arm around you his hand tucked into one of the back pockets of your jeans
  • Kinks. Kinks. Kinks. You are literally the kinkiest couple.
  • “Shin Hoseok, I bought you another choker!”
  • “What is it with you and chokers? You’re so freaky”
  • “You know what it is babyboy. And my freakishness doesn’t bother you when I’m sucking dick, right?”
  •  You’re the couple that says I love you like twenty times a day, but it never ever gets old
  • “I love you, baby”
  • “I know, you told me like an hour ago”
  • “Yeah but that’s an entire hour in which you could have forgotten”
  • Thigh riding.
  • Sub. Wonho.
  • He LOVES being called baby boy. Like he lives for it.
  • He comes home and immediately goes to lay his head on your lap
  • “Rub my head”
  • He falls asleep to you running your fingers through his hair
  • He loves being babied
  • And he loves to spoil you
  • “Umm, Hoseok what are all of these bags?”
  • “I saw all of these cute things and I bought them for you”
  • “What have I told you about spending money on me?”
  • “Not everything is for you. Some of it is for me” *insert cocky ass smirk and wink combo*

Originally posted by kihyonie

Originally posted by monstaxs

- Jen