god damn it paramore

god damn it this realization hit me hard, Paramore uses “ba da da” in 2 of their songs:

in Brick By Boring Brick, Hayley’s pointing out the illusion someone’s built up to hide from their tragic reality

in Fake Happy, Hayley’s asking to please leave the illusion of happiness she’s built up to hide the reality of her depression alone

All my Paramore interactions

- seeing Taylor at dinner and him waving and smiling to us in the most adorable fucking way
- Paramore walking into musical squares while I was literally right next to the entrance. Saying hi to Taylor and hayley stopping right in front of me, putting her hand on my shoulder and saying hey
- making eye contact with hayley and made her laugh and say “yeah yeah!” During musical squares cause of my elaborate punk skipping
- almost chucking my phone into Justin yorks chest cause it was so wet from being shoved into the kiddy pool. Aaron asking if I was alright
- taking my multiple selfies with Paramore
-shaking Taylor and Hayleys hands then too
- meet and greet when they room decided I got to stand in the middle between hayley and Taylor. Hugs from both. Hayley saying she liked all of our hair and saying we looked like we were having an awesome time. Then suggesting to hayley that I was free the next day to sing Miz biz and her smile man I love her
- during the Q&A hayley was answering this question and I stg screamed “ALL I WANTED” at the top of my lungs and she points in my direction and goes “yeah all I wanted”

-(meeting Chad at the casino when no one was there and congratulating him on getting married)

I… I think I got pretty damn lucky this cruise like oh my god

It’s hard to explain music to someone who hasn’t suffered. To explain how deeply dedicated you are to a band, or a singer, to someone who hasn’t had to rely on music to get them through a day. 

Those lucky, lucky, people who have always had someone to turn to when life got hard.

Not people like us, the one’s who had no one, and so we turned to the tunes, the notes and the chords of bands who just seemed to get us. They just seemed to understand what it was we were going through and they translated it into perfect songs with the best hooks and the most addictive riffs.

Because when I tell people that I love a band, I mean it in the way that you love someone who has always, unconditionally been there for you. No matter what time of day, no matter how angry or upset you were, they never pushed you away, they never belittled your problems, they just gave you the answers you needed to hear. 

This is something that I understand, because this is what music is to me.

That perfect, all forgiving shoulder to cry on.

But it’s not the same for everyone.

To anyone who reads this and does not understand, I envy you, and I also feel sorry for you. I envy you for always having someone else, something else to catch you when you fell, but, I do feel sorry for you, because loving music like this was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Music makes me feel alive, like, I actually have a soul, burning away somewhere within me, like I have lungs, and a heart, like I am an actual human being and not just a sufferer.

To all the bands, all the musicians, thank you.