god damn it i love her so much

8

Kurt, what if it’s only a matter of time before I become like that?

So I’ve been thinking about this a lot since the last ‘The TAZ Zone’ where Griffin was saying that he was so sure Magnus was going to take the chalice in 11th Hour and he had a whole thing planned for it.

I think Magnus would have taken it. If not taken it, I think he would’ve had a lot harder time deciding whether he wanted to go back and fix things with Julia and Raven’s Roost. Julia was the single most important thing in Magnus’ life (post Stolen Century) and I think he would’ve 100% taken the cup to at least try and make things right.

But I think the thing that stopped him was Lucas Miller. Magnus was very upset with Lucas for what he did in the Crystal Kingdom Arc and when he was questioning him towards the end Lucas said something along the lines of “Wouldn’t you do anything to save the one person who meant the most to you?” And I think Magnus saw the love that Lucas had for his mother and while different, the drive and passion behind what Lucas had done for Maureen probably rivaled what Magnus felt watching his last moments with Julia with June in the White Space. And I think if Magnus hadn’t seen the problems that came with someone who couldn’t let go of the past, who couldn’t accept that their loved one was gone, he would’ve taken the cup. But having witnessed the tragedy of Lucas and Maureen, he knew that while he’d always love and miss Julia, he had to let her stay in the past.

I loved her,” he said,
“I think a part of me always will love her. She made me feel alive and after 19 years on this planet I finally felt like someone understood me, I don’t believe in soul mates much but I do believe that I was meant to meet her. But months passed and she tried so hard to make me a better person because lord knows I didn’t treat her half as good as I should’ve. I loved her but I struggled to show it, I struggled to let anyone in enough for them to know me because I was too damn afraid of letting someone fuck me up even more than I already am. So instead I had to let her go and my god I won’t ever forget the look on her face or how much her eyes glistened from the tears she was trying to hold back when I told her I was leaving.
But I had to let her go because I knew what was best for her, and it wasn’t me.
—  Excerpt of a book I’ll never write
2

Requested by:

Annon:
Hi I don’t know if you can do a bill Skarsgard imagine like bill brothers come to visit you two and you an bill have a little fun at night😉😉and in the morning his brothers tease you both about how loud you are and bill was defending you and yeah ejeje thank you!! “Smut” please thanks!       

@harleysgothamonline
Hello, desperate fangirl here! Could you possibly do an imagine where the reader and Bill get into a huge argument just having a screaming match and they are both screaming and crying and she’s hitting his chest out of anger, and then they both make up by kissing passionately and cuddling. It’s okay if you want to pass on that idea, I promise I won’t be butt hurt lol.

Warnings: Language, smut.

A/N: I hope you don’t mind that I mixed two request, I’ve changed the roles just a little. This is my firs time writting smut and I really sucks… sorry about that, I‘ve tried my best, sorry for my horrible english.

Pairing: Bill Skarsgard x Reader

Title: “You moan like a princess”

__________

“Stop yelling, Y/N, my siblings are in the next room” Bill whispered trying to stay calm despite his girlfriend still yelling at him without reason

“I DON’T CARE THEY’RE IN HERE BILL” She yelled furiously, feeling her heart beating faster against her chest  

“Why are you so angry, Y/N? WHAT DID I DO NOW?” he asked without understanding, twining his fingers in his hair, starting to feel desperate.  

“I SAW YOUR CELLPHONE” She confessed with tears in her eyes “I SAW YOUR MESSAGES WITH THAT SLUT, BILL!”  She felt the bitter tears begin to slide down her red cheeks. Bill looked at her, he was furious, his girlfriend had been snooping on his cellphone without permission

“WHY DID YOU CHECK MY PHONE, Y/N?” He asked angrily, starting to yell too

“OH MY GOD! I JUST FOUND YOUR MESSAGES WITH ANOTHER WOMAN AND YOU…  Oh God , I CAN’T BELIEVE IT, BILL!” She tried to look at him, but tears clouded her vision and she felt how her heart break into a thousand pieces. Bill stayed quiet, looking at who he believed was the love of his life, crying furiously in front of him and he felt like the worst human being.

“I’m sorry” He whispered with a broken voice, approaching her, trying to hold her, but she walks away

“YES, YOU SHOULD SORRY” She kept yelling, not with anger but sadness

“Y/N, it’s not what you think, nothing ever happened with her” He tried to hug her desperately and she hits him on the chest

“I’m not stupid, Bill” She hits him again trying to get away from him, but he was holding her tight

“I know you’re not, Y/N, please” He begged with tears in his eyes “I love you”

“No, you don’t” She sobbed as he embraced her

“Hey…” He whispered and takes her chin with his fingertips “Look at me, my love” Y/N turned to see him, Oh God! She loved his green eyes “You have to believe me, I would never do anything to hurt you” He said more relaxed

“But I saw the messages, Bill, you can’t deny it!”

He sighed heavily.

The truth was that in the last few months, Bill had been planning his marriage proposal to Y/N, and his best friend had agreed to help him with it, the messages really could be misunderstood because they just talked about meeting in certain places to talk about it

“She was helping me to plan my marriage proposal” he confesses in distress “Now it’s all ruined, but I don’t care because I don’t want to lose you Y/N” he walked to the dressing table and take the fake flowers from the clay vase, he reached into the vase and pulled out a small black box.

He went back to Y/N and showed it to her “It’s not as I had planned it, actually Gustaf and Alex were here to help me with it but… damn it! You’d to be a psycho girlfriend, dear!” Y/N looked at him in puzzlement, with one hand covering her mouth, feeling the stupidest woman on the planet, she was trembling and couldn’t control it, Bill rested his forehead on hers; she could feel his warm breath and breathe his favorite cologne that she loved it so much, chamomile and mint, she looked into his eyes “be my wife” he whispered opening the little box

“Oh my god”

“is it a yes?”

“Yes” She whispered almost inaudibly.

Bill took the ring and put it on her finger. He kissed her,  holding her tightly by the waist, but it wasn’t a romantic kiss, it was one full of desire. It wouldn’t be the first time they ended up having sex after an argument.

He was much taller than her, but Y/N manages to take a small leap by wrapping her legs around his waist; Bill walked with her and they lie down on the bed while still kissing

“Do you want to go out to dinner? Or do you prefer to stay and kiss to see how this continues?” He said between kissed. Y/N looked at him and responded with another kiss even more passionate than the previous one.

Her hands had begun to play with the buttons of his shirt, unbuttoning them one by one until completely removed. She loved to see him like that, she adored his milky skin and his Adam’s apple moving every time is swallowed, she loved his dilated pupils giving a special touch to the green of his eyes, and his velvet lips, Dear God.

Bill had taken her dress off along with her dark bra, his kisses had begun to run down her neck and shoulder making her gasp slightly, his velvet lips begging to fiddle with her left nipple making her squirm under him and panting wildly, his right hand low up brushing the thin fabric of her underwear, feeling as she began to get wet just for him, her thighs trembled.  

Y/N tried to control her hips, but she was desperate to feel some friction, so she took his hand and guide him inside her panties, he began to touch her gently rubbing her clit, she struggled not to moan to loudly, after all Bill’s brothers were in the next room. He slides his fingers inside her and she twisted her neck letting exposed to him, he couldn’t miss the opportunity to kiss it and suck it slightly causing it to form a small hickey that would disappear soon.

He stopped touching her “What happened?” She asked confused “Why did you stop?”

“It seems you aren’t enjoying what I’m doing” He replied, whispering in her ear. His warm breath crashing against her skin, excited her even more.

“Your brothers are in the other room, Bill”

“I thought you didn’t mind, sweetheart” He tested her, lifted one eyebrow playfully as he licked her earlobe, making her moan softly.

“Bill, please” she whispered

“I want you to scream my name” He slip another finger inside her and felt her scratching his arm.

“Bill” she whispered breathlessly as he began to move his fingers inside her, she moved her hips and moan against his neck “more…” She begged him

“I can’t hear you, sweetie”

“Fuck me, Bill” She begged, biting his jaw gently and arranging to unbuckle his belt and remove his trousers, touching his prominent bulge, he groaned at her touch and without thinking twice she moved her hand inside his boxers taking his erection.

“Shee-it, Y/N” He settled between her legs and gently slide inside her as he kissed her hardly, he lets out a small groan as she scratched his back in response, he started thrusting faster and harder

In a quick movement, Y/N was on top of him, riding his cock and scratching his chest with every movement she made, Bill held her by the waist to gain the most stimulation with each stroke. He loved her, he loved her waist, her messy hair and her breasts moving to the beat of both.

She began to feel how the heat grew inside her and her calves began to tingle, as it happened every time she was about to reach an orgasm, she also felt how Bill’s muscles began to tense beneath her… “Y/N” He groaned as he clutched her breasts and took her neck to draw her closer to him and kiss her with passion finally thrusting their both into a climax.

__

Y/N and Bill were in the kitchen making breakfast, they heard footsteps and laughter in the hall, Gustaf and Alex appeared and sat on the kitchen counter in front of both

“Good morning guys” Y/N greeted them while turning a pancake with the spatula

“Good morning, Y/N” replied Gustaf “How about last night guys?” he asked as he serve a cup of coffee, Y/N and Bill cross glances and laugh “I mean… we heard you arguing”

“And other stuff” Alex joked

Y/N felt her cheeks begin to turn pink and laughed nervously, she knew these two too well and they wouldn’t hesitate to joke “I don’t know which one is noisier, if my brother or his girlfriend” mocked Alex and Bill turned to see him angrily

Gustaf let out a loud laugh “Bill you moan like a princess”

Y/N laughed and watched Bill’s jaw began to tighten

“I mean… Dad would be very disappointed in you, brother” Alex stood up to reach a mug

Y/N laughed and walked over to Bill “Let him alone guys” She said, wrapping her arms around his neck “I love your moans baby, don’t mind them” she confessed giving him a kiss on his lips and gigglin.

requests are open! (x)

MASTERLIST

anonymous asked:

Forgive me if you've been asked this already but at what moment do you think Clarke fell in love with Lexa, or realized she was in love with her? I believe Eliza had trouble answering this at a con (I think she said it was before the bow though) so I'm wondering what you think.

Mmm that’s hard to say, and honestly, that’s kinda what I love about it. Because you can’t always exactly pinpoint the moment you fall in love with someone, right? Maybe it’s a feeling that grows gradually but unstoppable, maybe it’s like a wave hitting you at once, it varies. And that’s how I think it was for Clarke.

The way I see it, it was sudden for her at first and then everything slowed down and it naturally developed. It wasn’t love yet in the beginning, but there was definitely a realization that she had feelings for Lexa. Just look at her face after storming out of Lexa’s tent in 2x14. 

Why else would she looked so bothered? If she had just been upset about their argument she would have had an angry face. Instead she looks like she’s literally trying to physically restrain her feelings, whatever they may be. She takes that deep, shaky breath in an attempt to collect herself because, what the hell just happened inside that tent? Did Lexa really just confess she has feelings for me? And why does it affect me so much? What am I feeling? This is what I think is going through her mind. And then of course we have the confirmation of this, when she gladly replies to Lexa’s kiss. Even after she rejects her, there is no indication of that being a definitive rejection. There is no feeling of “I’m sorry, but I don’t reciprocate.” Clarke is not ready for a relationship, and it’s right that she was honest with Lexa, but she rejects her in literally the softest way possible, AND leaves the door open for the future. Not yet. That means she already sees herself considering a relationship with Lexa in the future, after healing, when she’s finally ready. And look at how tender and somewhat tamely longing her gaze is even after she rejected Lexa.

She is definitely aware of her feelings for Lexa here. But then the betrayal happens and ah, they take 46 steps back.

Now, of course, Lexa’s betrayal causes Clarke to close herself off. Clarke is angry at Lexa, she’s angry at herself, she’s in pain, every other feeling pales in comparison. And obviously, so much of Clarke’s suffering is tied to what Lexa did, so it’s definitely not a surprise that romance is out of the question when they first meet again. Clarke’s pain is consuming her, she is definitely not thinking about whatever she and Lexa had. And yet…

This isn’t a romantic moment by any means. But we’re talking about Clarke realizing she loves Lexa, and I don’t think we can’t gloss over this moment. When I say that I don’t romanticize this scene, it’s because this is not a cute moment. This isn’t a “oh my God, she loves her!” moment, this moment is sad. It’s painful, it’s heartbreaking, but it’s so damn important. Clarke can’t kill Lexa here. How much easier would it be for her to shut her heart out entirely, to blame Lexa for everything and just kill her without feeling anything? I bet in that moment, a part of Clarke wants that. But Clarke feels, and she feels for Lexa. She has these feelings and they won’t go away, not even when she’s at her lowest. So yeah, not a romantic moment, but definitely essential to understand Clarke’s complicated feelings for Lexa.

After the bow, Clarke is a little more trusting towards Lexa, but she’s definitely still closed off, she’s not ready to expose her heart yet. And we get to the “I’m doing it for my people” episode, 3x04. Right from the very beginning, Clarke spends the entire episode trying to find a way to keep Lexa safe, to protect her. But every single time she voices her concerns to Lexa or hell, even Titus, her preoccupation feels far more personal than political. She’s worried, she’s agitated, she even seems angry that Lexa won’t listen to her and step away from the duel. It’s a crescendo of apprehension and frustration and anxiousness as every single one of Clarke’s attempts fails, crescendo that culminates in an emotional explosion.

The second gif is particularly telling. Titus interrupts them, the moment is gone and Clarke finds herself having to face what just happened. Look at her face, at how she looks away from Lexa and sucks a breath through her teeth. She’s restraining her feelings, but she’s a little too late this time. And it’s not only Lexa who is shaken by Clarke’s emotional outburst, it’s Clarke herself too. She doesn’t catch herself in time and now she can’t pretend with herself that those feelings aren’t there. I think this is when the true first “shift” after the betrayal happens. Clarke wants to keep Lexa at arm’s length but Lexa might very well die that same day and, despite any resolution she had, the thought terrifies Clarke. And she’s so scared that she’s never going to see Lexa again that…

I could write an essay on all the emotions Clarke experiences before and throughout and at the end of Lexa’s duel, but the gist of it is that during this tense moment, with Lexa’s life on the line, she can’t bring herself to hide her feelings. It’s all there, on her face. 

Only when things settle down she is able to collect herself again. Lexa comes visit her that night and we see Clarke pull her walls up again. “I was just doing what was right for my people.” BUT! Even if Clarke is not ready to open up her heart again, that scene is infused with intimacy. Even Clarke’s “rejection” is filled with emotion.

Clarke is the opposite of cold here. The way I see it, she is pulling away because she’s realizing she’s close to giving in, but she’s not yet ready for that. It’s so clear that here Lexa is talking about what happened at Mount Weather too, this is another quiet apology that Clarke obviously recognizes. If she went with her feelings, Clarke would have to admit that she does understand Lexa, that in her heart maybe she’s already forgiven her. But in that moment it’s too overwhelming, so she looks away and avoids the conversation, avoids Lexa’s gaze, avoids having to focus on her feelings.

She literally keeps having to look away because things get too intense but at the same time there’s a tenderness in her eyes that she can’t hide. And once Lexa is gone and she can breathe… bam

All the feelings she restrained, everything she tried to hide merely minutes ago hits her full force. I said I think Clarke’s love for Lexa developed gradually, naturally, but if I had to pick a specific moment and say that’s when Clarke realized she’s in love with Lexa, it would be this one.

By the time we get to 3x06, I do believe Clarke knows and has accepted she is in love with Lexa, but she’s still struggling to admit it out loud, especially to Lexa. That episode happens roughly 7-10 days after the events of Hakeldama, and when we see Clarke and Lexa again, they are closer than ever. There is a sense of intimacy, of almost domesticity between them. They are comfortable with each other’s presence. There’s not really a reason for them being in the same room in that scene: Lexa fell asleep while reading and Clarke is drawing (there are other sheets in her folder, which makes me think she was drawing other things before focusing on Lexa). They don’t have to talk or interact, they simply are together.

When Lexa wakes up from the nightmare, Clarke doesn’t hesitate to jump next to her and comfort her, with soothing touches and calming, reassuring words. And then we get to the moment Lexa notices the drawing. A lot has been said about Lexa’s face, but instead look at Clarke’s.

This is the exact opposite of what I was talking about in 3x04. Lexa sees the drawing and is taken aback. That she doesn’t know whether she should hope for anything is another story, but the look she gives Clarke is very telling. And Clarke doesn’t avoid it. Yes, her first instinct is to play it off as something meaningless. “Uh, that’s not- it’s not finished yet.” But then Lexa looks at her, confused, surprised, a tiny bit hopeful, and Clarke meets her gaze and they just stare at each other. Look at that little pause she does before lifting her eyes. That’s when she chooses not to hide. As I said, I think that here Clarke has come to terms with her feelings for Lexa, but here for the first time, she doesn’t hide them from Lexa. Her look is just as telling as Lexa’s. They aren’t saying a word and this is one of their most honest, important conversations. Clarke is silent, but her eyes are speaking, her untold feelings are there, and maybe letting Lexa know isn’t so unfathomable anymore. Maybe, maybe Clarke this is the closest Clarke has been to being ready.

So this is what i think. The way I see it, it’s tricky and complicated and simply beautiful.

Dating Zach Dempsey would include...

• Lots of basketball games, where’d you’d be on the side lines holding up a cheesy sign saying “# 7 on the field # 1 in my heart.”

• Him looking and winking just as he is about to make the game winning point!

 • He’d run to you after a game through the crowd, just to get his winning kiss. “y/n!” “Oh no Zach! Get your sweaty self away from me.” You said running through the stands. But he catches you in less than a minute and envelopes you in his arm. “Caught you.” He whispers “You’re an idiot.” You say with a smile “Yes, but I’m your idiot, so it’s okay.” He says right before he kisses you. 

 • Ice cream dates, he’d smile and watch you as you ate your ice cream. “What’re you doing?” You said with a giggle, “You’re so weird.” He rolled his eyes, “is it bad that I love my girlfriend so much I can’t help but stare at her beauty?” You held out your spoon. “Oh shush and let me eat my ice cream in peace.” He leaned over and ate it as you gasped! “Zachary! How dare you?!” He chucked and winked. “Maybe next time you’ll take my compliment, so I don’t have to take you ice cream.”

•Movies at the Crestmont, where you two would sit in the back and cuddle into him.

•cuddling non stop.

•lots and lots of kisses, on your forehead, nose, lips

• You always wear his letterman jacket and it’s huge on you because your boy is a giant. “You’re tiny.” “I AM NOT.” “Y/n you are so small.” “I am average height, you fricking giant.” “Gosh you’re feisty, and you look so cute in that.” “Can I keep it.?” “No.” “But Zach…”

•he’d surprise you from behind and always make an effort to walk you to your classes. “Zach you’re gonna be late for your class.” “But I have to walk with you to class..” “I’m a big girl I can walk by myself.” “Yes, I’d rather spend time with my girl, than be in class, unless that class is Bio.”

•you and his sister are best friends, and you guys are always whispering. And he loves how good you are with her.

•his mom loving you because unlike the rest of his friends, you’re such a good influence on him. She sees the way you two love each other and can’t wait to call you her daughter-in-law

•Zach gets jealous easily, especially when you laugh at Jeff’s jokes and hang out with him. He will give you the silent treatment until you make him realize he’s the only boy for you.

“Zach, I love you. No one else” “But Jeff..” “He’s a friend, one of my very good friends and you need to stop being jealous about small things. You know i’d never leave you.” “I-I’m sorry.” You kissed his forehead. “I love you okay? Don’t forget that.”

•you play video games with him, and sometimes he lets you win, just to see you smile and jump around. “OH MY GOD. I BEAT YOU.” Zach chuckled, “yes you did.” “I BEAT ZACH DEMPSEY AT COD.. HOW IN THE WORLD.” He scoops you up in his arms, “yes you did y/n, and I’ve got a prize for you.” He says as he kisses you!

•he’s super protective, especially after hearing Bryce’s tapes, and makes sure you’re never alone with him.

•He comes to you whenever he is sad, or upset about life. And the two of you cuddle and eat lots and lots of ice cream.

•You always make fun of how he’s allergic to strawberries. “It’s kinda sad, you know? You’ll never be able to bite into a juicy strawberry.” He rolled his eyes “yes y/n I’m so sorry that the small little fruit could possibly cause me to die.” “I’m just saying it’s a shame, they’re so good.” “God, you’re so mean.”

•He loves PDA when he’s drunk, but when he’s sober, he’d rather it be more personal, just between the two of you.

•He’s never fails to make you laugh, and cracks jokes just to see your eyes light up and to see your smile grow.

•When he gets drunk, all he’s does is think about you and tell you how much he loves you, and will not stop kissing you. “My girlfriend y/n, she’s such a babe. Like damn she’s the hottest girl in the school and she’s all mine. And have I told you I love her so much.” “Zach I’m right here.” “You’re really pretty you know that.” “Oh dear Zach, how much did you drink.”

• He’s always super embarrassed after hearing what he did while drunk, and you think he’s the absolute cutest.

• Zach is so fit, and loves the gym, and half the time you joke you’re dating him just for his abs. “God you’re hot.” He looked up at you. “Well that was random.” “Like I’m definitely dating you for your abs.” “Wow y/n so superficial” “Kidding I love every little thing about you.” “Oh sweet little y/n, nothing about me is little.” “ZACH!”

•Zach leaves the weirdest compliments in your compliment bag, and you keep them all to look at whenever you need to smile.

•Justin being like another brother to you and always jokes about how you have Zach wrapped around your finger.

•Justin and Zach are so close you always joke that he’s Zach’s boyfriend. “Hi I’m y/n and this is my boyfriend Zach and his boyfriend Justin.”

• He always tells you the cheesiest science jokes, because he’s a bio nerd. “Hey y/n, are you DNA helicase cause I’d like to unzip your genes.” “You’re an idiot”

•Zach dreaming about spending the rest of his life with you and growing old, because you’re everything and more he’d ever imagine in a girl.

Michael Cordero was The Best example of a television love interest, and i mean that so so genuinely.

in s1, i wanted to love Rafael so much. he was hunky, suave, and the obvious pick. but Michael? Michael snuck up on me. Michael took me completely by surprise in the best possible way.

he was sweet. he was genuine. he was kind, and gentle, and supportive.

and, in the most wonderful way, Michael Cordero loved Jane so god damn much.

literally all he ever wanted was for her to be happy. all he wanted was for her to be loved and feel loved, and he gave so much of himself to her. he raised a child that wasn’t his like his own. he supported Jane’s journey to chase her dreams with so much passion and encouragement and kindness and he was, in every possible way, the sort of character who makes you want to be better.

Michael Cordero was a gift and i’m so happy we got to watch his character flourish, and i’m so lost as to how i’m going to move on from this.

no offense but literally imagine getting a box of presents from taylor like seeing her write your name on a card and reading the long card and all the tags on every gift and everything in it smelling like her and knowing she handpicked everything just for YOU and knowing that you’re so so special to her and oh my god i need to lay down

Okay but imagine: The Chocobros (+ a couple extra) meeting Avalanche

Cloud & Noctis:
- comparing/showing off their swords
- who’s the #1 shy edge lord idk it’s a fuckin toss up
- sharing tips on how to maintain the Chocobutt hairstyle
- probably become best friends but both are too cool (they think) to admit it

Prompto & Yuffie:
- way too much energy
- oh shit where’d they go
- running around taking pictures and playing pranks on everyone
- Prompto develops a crush on her because who doesn’t he have a crush on
-“WHERE’S THE MATERIA?”
“The what???”

Ignis, Vincent, & Nanaki:
- deep ass conversations you can’t even handle it
- Vincent probably isn’t talking tho
- I can see Iggy and Nanaki getting along so well

Cid & Cid:
- grumbling and swearing
- probably drinking some god damn tea
- talking about airships, weapons, vehicles, whatever they’ve been working on
- talking about “them crazy fuckin kids” but they secretly love them

Gladio, Barret, & Tifa:
- you’ve got a front row seat to thE GUN SHOW
- Gladio and Barret trying to out-do each other, probably end up sparring
- Tifa shows up in all her 5'4" glory and knocks them both off their feet (literally)
- Gladio digs that, Barret wants to kill him even more

Luna & Aerith:
- YOU KNOW these angels will be talking about flowers
- Aerith’s lilies and Luna’s sylleblossoms
- Aerith braiding Luna’s hair
- you’ll get cavities if you go anywhere near them, way too sweet.

BONUS
Ardyn & Sephiroth:
-sharing tragic backstories and their descent into madness
- Pres & Vice Pres of the Magnificent Hair Committee
- “I impaled Cloud with my sword, twice”
“Brilliant! I made Noctis push his best friend off a moving train”
“Impressive.”
- *high five*

Nightmare - Winchester Brothers

I’m sorry I haven’t written in a little while! School is just making me really busy. I’ll try and post once at least every two weeks. I’m sorry of I can’t :(

Anyway, here’s another request!

Okay so maybe something where the reader is jealous of how close Sam & Dean are, make it angsty 😹 - @winchesters-favorite-girl - i’ve kind of made my own twist on this! Hope you like it anyway!

Imagine always feeling as though you are nothing more then a burden and a blood relation to your brothers and feeling as though they don’t care for you so you leave them.

—————————————————————————————

Originally posted by teachercastiel

Originally posted by undercoverrockstarjensen

Originally posted by hallowedbecastiel

You were sat in the back of the impala, picking dried blood out of your stubby finger nails, anger rumbling in your chest. You’d saved your brothers once again from a hunt gone wrong and they hadn’t thanked you, simply patted each other on the back, sent a glance over their shoulder to you to make sure you were still alive and headed in the direction of the car.

They were speaking (or arguing, you could never tell) about the monster ‘they’ had just killed and you had no interest in listening so you rested your head on the back of the seat and looked out to the starry night.

It had been this way since you’d dropped out of high school. You’d be with them, but not quite there. You’d always been left out the circle and you couldn’t remember the last time your elder brothers had shown gratitude and love towards you and quite frankly, you had had enough. 

Closing your eyes and drifting off into sleep, your mind travelled to a time when you were the centre of your brothers worlds.

***

You aged 5 and Sam aged 13:

Colouring in a unicorn in your activity book at the counter of the motel room kitchen, you reached for the purple crayon which was just out of your grip. Just as you were close to grabbing it, it rolled a little further away.  

Whining and attempting to lean forward, you suddenly felt the stall give way, sending you toppling to the ground. 

You cried out in pain as you hit your head on the marble floor. As your vision became faded and a headache made its self comfortable in your head, you saw Sam rushing towards you from the settee.

He quickly pulled you into his arms and cooed in your ear that everything would be ok and that there was nothing to worry about. He made it clear to you that you were a strong girl and that it was only a little graze. 

***

You aged 13 and Dean aged 25:

You were waiting on the bench just outside of your temporary school as the girls in front of you made fun of your second hand clothes. 

‘Look at that! What is it? A table cloth or a fourth hand blanket?’ The skinniest of them all said, pulling at your older brother Sam’s red flannel.

‘Don’t touch me.’ You growled, slapping her hand away.

‘What did you say, skank? Want me to hit you.’ The tallest of them all said, raising her hand at you.

As you were about to swerve the hand that was about to smack you, you froze as your biggest brother Dean tapped the girl on the shoulder.

She turned round, confusion and disgust on her face. ‘What do you want? Old man.’ She sneered at him. The other girls thought this was the funniest remark in the world.

Dean laughed for a second then looked at her dead in the eyes. ‘You touch my little sister again and i’ll break all your fingers. Oh, and by the way, that top is second hand. I’m pretty sure I saw a stripper with the clap wearing that a couple of nights ago.’ He gave his signature smirk at the end, hinting that the mob of mistakes (called teenage girls) should go away. 

They did, fear and despise all over their faces as they made remarks about each others clothes.

‘Thanks Dean.’ You said as you stood up and hugged him.

‘Anytime.’ He responded, protectively wrapping his arms around you.

***

Yeah sure, anytime. I guess that had a time limit. Waking up with the thought in your head, you noticed that you were sat in the back of the Impala, your two elder brothers no where in sight. 

As a feeling of hopelessness washed over you, you begged for Castiel to come and see you. He was the only one who seemed to care for you.

‘Hello Y/N.’ His gravelled voice spoke out from the seat next to you.

You didn’t respond straight away, you wanted to gather your thoughts first. You turned to look at him.

‘What’s wrong Y/N?’ He asked you, as you looked back at him, hurt in your eyes.

‘It’s my brothers. I’m nothing to them anymore.’ You explained, tears brimming in your eyes.

‘That’s not true. You’re their little sister.’ Cas responded, confusion lingering in his voice.

Was their little sister. I think i’m nothing more then a shadow to them now and I wont deal with it anymore. Please, Cas, make a promise to me.’ You pleaded.

‘What promise?’ He questioned you, eyebrows knotting together as he looked sad in his eyes.

‘That if I go, you wont help my brothers look for me. You’ll let me live my own life and I expect you to understand that if you break my trust I will never forgive you.’ With that, you took his hand in yours as a way to tell him how desperate you were. ‘Please.’

He pulled his hand slightly away from yours then paused. He let out a soft sigh then looked away for a second. ‘If I make this promise, you have to stay safe.’ He reasoned with you, looking in your direction and then away again so that he wouldn’t regret what he was about to do.

‘Yes, of course.’ You practically whispered back, knowing that you were inches away from freedom. 

‘Ok.’ That was all he said before he flapped his wings and disappeared.

This was your chance. This was your chance to begin again and be a person who didn’t live every day wondering if they were loved. You’d thought about this for weeks, months even. The moment you’d break free and find someone or something that had even the slightest amount of happiness towards you.

Jumping out the car and pulling your bag from the boot, you headed down the street the impala was parked on. You looked back for a moment, remembering your older brothers, then shook your head and continued down the path you chose to take. 

*Sam’s P.O.V*

‘You think she’ll like it?’ Dean asked, holding up a green flannel.

‘You know that’s not her colour.’ I responded, pushing the green flannel out of Dean’s arms before reaching up for a red checkered one on the highest shelf.

‘She’ll like this one though. She used to wear one like it when she was younger, like all the time.’ I said as I searched for her size.

Dean went quiet for a minute before looking at me.

‘Dude, no chick flick moments. What’s wrong?’ I questioned him, laughing a bit since he looked like a hurt puppy.

‘Is it just me or does Y/N seem really closed off lately.’ He depressingly said, gently stroking the flannel in his hands as if it was his little sister.

I was going to shrug my shoulders and dismiss the conversation but I didn’t. I knew that there was something very wrong with Y/N.

‘Yeah - I think there is.’ I responded, barely looking at Dean, feeling as though it was some how my fault.

As if Dean read my mind, he glanced briefly at me. ‘Do you think it’s our fault?’

I gulped then looked up. ‘I - I don’t know. Maybe. Have we done enough for her? I mean, have we been good brothers?’ 

‘If I’m being honest. No, I don’t think we have been. I think we’ve been so focused on these god damn hunting trips so much that we’ve lost the love we used to give to the centre of our world, Y/N. I think we need to look out for her more. Knowing her, she probably thinks that we don’t care about her and I can’t have that.’ Dean was almost shouting at the end, pulling at the seams of the shirt in his hands.

I simply looked back at him, wide eyed. He’d said exactly what I was thinking. 

‘Hell, what do I know.’ Dean grumbled, throwing the flannel on the shelf and heading to the doors of the shop. 

He froze mid-step then yelled my name, indicating that Y/N was no longer in the Impala.

It was though time slowed down. She was there, then she wasn’t. It was a nightmare come real.

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I really like how this turned out and I’m tempted to a part 2! Tell me what you guys think :)